Guest Deja Vu Kris Report post Posted March 24, 2003 “Hi,” Kris says as he plops down on a sofa, next to a very lovely brunette. The area surrounding the sofa is horribly jam-packed with people, all of which seem to be wearing attire purchased at Abercrombie and Fitch. The lady in question gives Kris a very annoyed look, rolling her eyes away from one half of Déjà Vu, meanwhile, the rest of the penthouse suite on the 15th floor at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas seems to be engaged in some form of alcohol consumption, or worse. In fact, Kris carries to cups of frosty beverage that he puts on the coffee table in front of the sofa where he now sits. Just so we’re all very clear…it’s a huge party! “Can I offer you a drink beautiful?” inquires Kris, pushing one of his cups into the young lady’s face. “If I don’t respond the first time, it usually means that I’m not interested,” replies the brunette, with a hint of venom on her words. “Oh, so it’s like that,” Kris responds casually. “Well, do you mind just telling me your name?” “Yes, I do mind,” she says angrily, “but if it will make you leave me alone…my name is Veronica.” “Veronica?” Kris asks rhetorically. “That’s a very pretty name. Do you want to know my name?” “No.” “It’s Kris…that’s with a ‘K’.” “Wow, that’s very impressive…Kris…but really, I’d much rather be left alone.” “Now where’s the fun in that?” Kris jokingly asks. Veronica, however, does not respond in the manner Kris probably would have liked her to, which means that she didn’t just immediately lean over and start blowing him. “Look,” Veronica says, this time completely annoyed by Kris. “I’m only here because my boyfriend dragged me here. So, just leave me alone.” “You have a boyfriend? Where is he?” “Right there by the keg,” answers Veronica, pointing across the crowded room at some muscular guy with an Abercrombie shirt and too much moose in his hair. “Oh, that guy,” Kris laughs. “I could SO take that guy. I’m a wrestler, you know?” Veronica remains silent, thinking that ignoring Kris will make him go away. Lucky for her, Kross walks over and saves her from an hour long explanation of how great of a wrestler Kris is. “Dude,” Kross calls out to Kris. “What’s up bra?” replies Kris. “Kingsly is on the phone dude.” “I bet he wants to party with us dude. Everyone wants to party with us!” “That’s cause we SO throw the best parties.” Kris gets up and follows his brother towards another room, but he first looks back to Veronica and clearly states, “I’ll be back. Wait for me.” Veronica’s response is to immediately remove herself from the sofa as to not be there when he gets back. “Kingsly!” yell the twins as they pick up the phone hanging on the kitchen wall and holding it up so that both brothers can hear. “Ummmm…guys,” King says annoyed. “What’s going on there, I can barely hear you.” “Dude,” replies Kross, “we are SO having a party!” “Another one?” asks King, really annoyed now. “Of course now bra,” responds Kris, “we had to celebrate our match on Friday!” “Ummmm…celebrating your match? You didn’t win. You lost to Fugue and Janus!” Kris and Kross look at each other in silence for several moments before responding to King. Kris breaks the silence with, “Dude…we were SO on national television!” “Hell yeah we were,” echoes Kross as he slaps free hands with his brother. “Whatever…listen,” orders King. “You two made a complete mockery of this business on Friday. You’re sloppy, ignorant, and you just flat out suck.” “Ouch dude,” says Kross. “Don’t be a buzz-kill dude.” “Just shut up and listen,” King demands. “The two of you need to get very serious really fast. You need to be spending every waking moment working on your wrestling, because you’re not getting any favors from me. On Wednesday, you’re taking on Tom Flesher and El Luchadore Magnifico, and they are two of the best we have here. If you think you can get over them with nutshots and crazy antics, you’re dreaming. So, I suggest the two of you stop all partying, and get your asses in gear.” Silence comes from the other end as the twins stare at each other, each with a serious look on his face. The seriousness is short-lived, as both men break into huge, cheesy grins. “Dude…did you hear that?” “Dude, I so did.” “Dude…we’re SO going to be fighting Tom Flesher and El Luchadore Magnifico!” “Dude, this is SO gonna rock!” “Dude, we are SO gonna kick their asses!” “Hell yeah, their asses are SO kicked!” “Guys,” King interrupts, “just go practice.” “Dude, you so love us Kingsly,” offers Kris. “I just want you two to take this seriously,” replies King. “That’s ok dude…we SO love you too,” says Kross. “I mean, not like that, of course,” Kris clears up. “Oh…yeah…not like that I mean…like…I mean…you know…what I meant was…I mean…uhhh…” “Dude,” Kris interrupts his brother. “Don’t worry Kingsly, we’re so gonna kick their asses.” “We’ll see,” King says before just hanging up the phone. “Dude, Kingsly so rocks the party,” says Kris. “Yeah he does,” responds Kross. “Dude!! I so have an idea.” The twins head back into the main room, where the crowd doesn’t seem to have thinned at all. “Attention everyone,” calls out Kross. “DUDE!” The room quiets somewhat as Kross stands on the coffee table to get everyone’s attention. “Ok, so Kingsly says we need to practice,” continues Kross. “So…my brother and I are going to give a demo, and it’s SO gonna rock! Who wants to see our finisher?!?” The party-goers, as drunk as they may be, surely can’t pass up the opportunity to see violence, so they cheer a resounding yeah. “Dude, hell yeah,” says Kris. “This is so gonna be awesome!” “Ok, so we need a volunteer to lay on this table. Who wants to do it?” asks Kross. Being the drunk ass that he is, some dude stumbles over and volunteers, and Kross directs him to lay onto the table and not to move. Kross whispers something to Kris, and the two head off in opposite directions, while the drunk crowd murmers to itself. Kris climbs on top of the head of the nearby sofa, while Kross climbs atop a table. “Ready,” asks Kross. “Hell yeah, I’m ready,” replies Kris. Through the stench of beer, smoke, and some bodily fluids, Kris takes to the air, followed closely by Kross. Both maintain a swan like pose while tucking and untucking their bodies. “Dude, fuck this,” says the drunken man as he rolls off the table, and… CRASH! Kris slams through the table no longer holding their victim… THUD!! …followed closely by Kross, who slams onto his brother’s vulnerable body. The entire room gasps, and then begins to laugh uncontrollably as the two hosts lay motionless amongst the rubble that was once a coffee table. And, without a second though, they all go back to talking, drinking, smoking, or whatever it was they were doing prior to the exhibition. Alcohol and wrestling don’t mix Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted March 24, 2003 sure it does! I'll prove it to you! *slams a bottle of vodka then slams it over the head of Fugue* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Listen2Reason Report post Posted March 24, 2003 Ow! *brings out a bottle of JD...where's my bottle of JD?* *JD runs out and hands over a bottle of JD to use on JD* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted March 24, 2003 *nosells... beats Fugue to death, Fugue still smiles... locks on JD's Avenge... Fugue screams like a girl* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted March 25, 2003 I am so gonna get sued by some idiot kid's parents now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted March 25, 2003 Chill out Kingsly... if it means anything... I'll defend you in court! I read a book on Idiots Guide to Law once! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ace309 Report post Posted March 25, 2003 ... these guys are both hilarious and depressing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Forewarned 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2003 DUDE! I SO know who you are! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deja Vu Kris Report post Posted March 26, 2003 Ok Mr. Smarty Pants...PM me with your guess so I can tell you how wrong you are. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Forewarned 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2003 I'm not even gonna' PM ya'... I'll reveal it right here! You guys are like TOTALLY Deja Vu! Am I right? Am I right? That said, I think I know judging by your promo style, but I'll wait until you guys let it slip. Of course, I only know IGNWFers so if you're not among them, I'm f**ked harder than a llama in Afganistan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest AnnieEclectic Report post Posted March 28, 2003 You SO rock, just to let you know, I'm really digging this Deja Vu team... but Neilsen, that was one of the stranger turns of phrases I've read lately.... -Annie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Forewarned 0 Report post Posted March 30, 2003 ...I try... And of course, that only applies if there was a llama in Afganistan. Someone probably imported one. Sick bastard... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
