Banky's Bitchfest 03/24/03 RAW

[Guest Banky]

5. Scott Steiner slowly improves, but still continues to falter on his re-debut in the WWE. Because this match made it to number 5 shows how weak the RAW side truly is. Am I the only one who nearly swallows their tongue when Steiner goes for his finishing move? And DEAR fucking GOD, Rey Mysterio on slow motion is faster than Steiner when he tries to execute that move. Steiner needs to turn heel bad. Like I am talking real bad. I'm not talking Michael Jackson bad, I am talking BAD! And get Christian his fucking mesh shirt back, he looks absolutly atrocious in those tights. He looked like a miniture Kevin Nash from behind when he wore his red ones. My guess? Christian will be in the next cuts. The guy has nothing to offer....nothing at all. Steiner slaughtered him, and I savoured every second of it. He'll be injured, fired, or drastically demoted in a month, so I get my fill while I can.

 

4. No Dudleyz at Wrestlemania? Come again. You ruined the Reverand Dvon character for this? Wow...I am mean....wow. And who did RVD potato to get this kind of demotion? Oh yea...now I remember. Truly shows how much power Trips really does have. Bah Gawd. Morley/Storm vs. Kane/RVD? Fuck me running, that'll suck...badly. No Steiner? No Dudleyz? And Morley has a match? Hahaha.....::sigh::

 

3. Ric Flair absolutly goes crazy like a motherfucker and makes the tag match watchable. The guy truly does deserve a REAL send off. The fans want to see it, and he DEFINETLY wants to see it...ask Eric Bischoff. The Goldust gimmick is about as classy as a Michael Moore exceptance speech. I'll pass. Booker? Let me just say that Booker has a better chance of reuniting Harlem Heat in 6 days than he does of winning the title. And Game? What can I say that hasn't been said already? I hope having sex with Stephanie Nicole Gorilla-face Smith McMahon is worth it.

 

2. The Rock truly bites John Cena's act by dedicationg a whole segment to dissing the hometown fams in a musical setting. Fuck that. It truly sucked. The Rock was ruling all when he re-debuted but he had once again fallen into menotony. All his acts and mannerisms are the same, and Banky with his marijuana induced short attention span is bored. Yak Yak Yak. Cena owns yo ass Rock. He owns you. Oh yea, Goldberg will own you at the next PPV too...its in his contract. Steve Austin shows a semblence of what brought him to the biggest money drawing character but again falls short. The build up for this match has been less than stellar, and it shows how badly the RAW writers have let down their roster. Pretty fucking pitiful when they can't even make Rocky vs. Austin exciting. Their goddamn build up for the dX PPV in '97 was more memorable than this one. Pssssst VINCE: Your current writers suck....take a fucking hint you pigheaded 'roidmonger.

 

1. Jericho shows some class and hints at a face turn. They did more for this fucking feud this Monday than they have in the past 2-3 months. Maybe the writing crew is finally taking a hint....Did anyone of you Canadian fans see that hypocritical Michaels interview? What a fucking load of crock. I have even LESS respect for him now than I did in 97. The dude claims to be a Christian but says he would lie to Bret Hart again if he had the chance. Boy, his pious of you Shawn. Than he qoutes the bible and says that he must obey his boss. Hey Shawn, have you ever heard of the Commandment thats says 'thou shall not lie?' Either have I....Regardless of that rubbish, this segment was very well executed and actually made me interested about 1 match on the PPV. But really, this one is looking pretty darn dismal.

 

I would do the power rankings but it would be near impossible to pick 10 deserving superstars off of the RAW roster. How sad. Honestly.

 

See you either for Smackdown or after it for a pre-Wrestlemania build-up where I can formulate witty Bankerisms about all of the poop we will witness on Sunday. Where's Kevin Nash? I miss him. Get well soon, Kev. Save me from this garbage.

[Guest Deebo]

Get well soon, Kev. Save me from this garbage.

 

 

Nash?

 

I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

I have to disagree. Christian's new tights damn well saved the first hour.

[Guest Banky]

I have to disagree. Christian's new tights damn well saved the first hour.

I pity your viewing patterns.

 

The only thing that saved the first hour was hearing TATU's 'All the things she said'. Damn those Russian Lesbians are hot. Like I love lesbians and all, but I LOVE Russina lesbians.

[Guest RedJed]

Two things that surprised me from Raw.......

 

With Steiner, what was the point of that anyway? I figured we would see some furthering of the Test-Steiner thing or something (even a Steiner heel turn tonight maybe even leading to a Mania match) but instead we got THAT?!

 

The tag title deal made little sense either than to just clearly show the weakness in the Raw midcard. I don't even want to see Kane/RVD as champs, and they just had a tag title match last month on ppv. They blew off the Dudley turn on them in one week.......hell wouldn't have Kane/RVD v. the Duds at Mania for the vacated titles been probably the better idea? I think its stupid too that they wasted all of those weeks to go with the Duds v. administration angle only to go absolutely nowhere with it all of a sudden the WEEK before Mania. I would say they could still add the Duds into the tag title match to make it a threeway, but that would be lame to have two tag team title triple threat matches in one ppv. Maybe the Regal thing threw them all off though, BTW he must have a HELL of a sickness if he's being out this long and wont even be able to make it to Mania. Whats the deal there, I thought he just had stomach problems like the flu or something. Ideally, they probably should have done the Duds v. Storm/Regal (or I guess Morley), a six man table match with the Duds v those three, and then had someone do the turn and have RVD/Kane. Oh well.

[Guest AndrewTS]

Christ, even Banky can tell HBK is an asshole.

 

It seemed to me that Christian was wearing VERY Hitman-ish tights. So I had no complaints.

 

I feel a lot better than I disagreed with everything else here. It's bad enough you're a Steiner fan, but KEVIN FUCKING NASH?!

 

Geez, well...at least some one will be happy about it.

[Guest Banky]

Christ, even Banky can tell HBK is an asshole.

 

It seemed to me that Christian was wearing VERY Hitman-ish tights. So I had no complaints.

 

I feel a lot better than I disagreed with everything else here. It's bad enough you're a Steiner fan, but KEVIN FUCKING NASH?!

 

Geez, well...at least some one will be happy about it.

Oh atleast I can be entertained by the suckiness of Nash and Steiner. They are entertaining outside of the ring...and if the inring work is gonna suck regardless, I should be entertained outside of it.

 

How can I hate on Steiner? The guy has destroyed his body with steroid to look like a freak...thats something I respect.

 

And Nash? He is the only wrestler who acts more immature than me...that is something I also respect.

 

What can I say? I am shallow man.

[Guest Banky]

Two things that surprised me from Raw.......

 

With Steiner, what was the point of that anyway? I figured we would see some furthering of the Test-Steiner thing or something (even a Steiner heel turn tonight maybe even leading to a Mania match) but instead we got THAT?!

 

The tag title deal made little sense either than to just clearly show the weakness in the Raw midcard. I don't even want to see Kane/RVD as champs, and they just had a tag title match last month on ppv. They blew off the Dudley turn on them in one week.......hell wouldn't have Kane/RVD v. the Duds at Mania for the vacated titles been probably the better idea? I think its stupid too that they wasted all of those weeks to go with the Duds v. administration angle only to go absolutely nowhere with it all of a sudden the WEEK before Mania. I would say they could still add the Duds into the tag title match to make it a threeway, but that would be lame to have two tag team title triple threat matches in one ppv. Maybe the Regal thing threw them all off though, BTW he must have a HELL of a sickness if he's being out this long and wont even be able to make it to Mania. Whats the deal there, I thought he just had stomach problems like the flu or something. Ideally, they probably should have done the Duds v. Storm/Regal (or I guess Morley), a six man table match with the Duds v those three, and then had someone do the turn and have RVD/Kane. Oh well.

Bubba must be too injured to wrestle at WM, or they'll have a swerve to add them in the match. There would be no other conceivable reason why they'd leave them off the show. They are by far the most popular tag team right now. And didn't we just see Kane/RVD vs. Storm/Regal at NWO? And didn't it suck really bad? I don't think adding Morley into the equation will help things.

 

I don't know what they are gonna do about Steiner. They pumped a lot of money into the guy, there should atleast be an attempt to get their worth out of him. Its as though they are putting him out there to get booed for their own amusement. They should give the fans a reason to boo him. I feel bad for the dude.

[Guest TheGame2705]

I'll start watching again when Nash comes back too.

[Guest AndrewTS]

And didn't we just see Kane/RVD vs. Storm/Regal at NWO? And didn't it suck really bad? I don't think adding Morley into the equation will help things.

 

Well, considering this same company did HHH vs. Steiner AGAIN after the Rumble just goes to show you they don't care.

[Guest Banky]

And didn't we just see Kane/RVD vs. Storm/Regal at NWO? And didn't it suck really bad? I don't think adding Morley into the equation will help things.

 

Well, considering this same company did HHH vs. Steiner AGAIN after the Rumble just goes to show you they don't care.

Very true. Very true.

 

But this is Wrestlemania. And they blew off the Dudleyz for THIS SAME MATCH-UP! I don't understand. There has to be a swerve of some sorts at the show on Sunday.

[Guest AndrewTS]

And didn't we just see Kane/RVD vs. Storm/Regal at NWO? And didn't it suck really bad? I don't think adding Morley into the equation will help things.

 

Well, considering this same company did HHH vs. Steiner AGAIN after the Rumble just goes to show you they don't care.

Very true. Very true.

 

But this is Wrestlemania. And they blew off the Dudleyz for THIS SAME MATCH-UP! I don't understand. There has to be a swerve of some sorts at the show on Sunday.

Yeah, but Bubba's back was shot. I think that if they were going to do the turn which should be meant to put interest back in the Dudleyz, they should have:

 

1) Waited until Bubba's back was better again.

2) Made them real heels, or at least make them enjoy their work again in a hurry.

 

Face Dudleyz are wimps. Face Dudleyz that turn heel while whining about supporting their families are even bigger wimps.

[Guest Banky]

And didn't we just see Kane/RVD vs. Storm/Regal at NWO? And didn't it suck really bad? I don't think adding Morley into the equation will help things.

 

Well, considering this same company did HHH vs. Steiner AGAIN after the Rumble just goes to show you they don't care.

Very true. Very true.

 

But this is Wrestlemania. And they blew off the Dudleyz for THIS SAME MATCH-UP! I don't understand. There has to be a swerve of some sorts at the show on Sunday.

Yeah, but Bubba's back was shot. I think that if they were going to do the turn which should be meant to put interest back in the Dudleyz, they should have:

 

1) Waited until Bubba's back was better again.

2) Made them real heels, or at least make them enjoy their work again in a hurry.

 

Face Dudleyz are wimps. Face Dudleyz that turn heel while whining about supporting their families are even bigger wimps.

They could have unified either Steiner with Kane or RVd. Its not as though thats tag team was on fire. By changing it up a tad on both sides, it would breathe some fresh air into the match. My feeling is that this is WM, a special show, they should pull out all of the stops rather than take the easy way out. But I do see your point.