The Road to Anglemania II - 3/29/03

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOAST Road to Anglemania II

March 29, 2003

 

Pyro explodes and the crowd goes crazy as we are on the air for the very last edition of OAOAST Road to Anglemania! The camera pans the crowd, as we see signs such as “Superstar WILL Respect Tony!”, “Boogie Knights > Dream Machines”, “Los Infernales Burn me Up”, and the ever-present, female-held, “I want Zack to P.O.P. My Cherry~!” We head over to the announce table for the team that everyone knows and deeply loves.

 

 

Cole: Hello everyone and WELCOME to the very last edition of the Road to Anglemania II! I’m Michael Cole…

Coach: And I’m Da Coach~! I’m so excited for Anglemania II, I can’t even think of anything witty to say!

Cole: Can you believe we’re just ONE DAY AWAY from the biggest OAOAST show in history? I’m ecstatic! Let’s head to the ring, where two relative newbies are going to lock it up!

 

Cherry Poppin’ Daddy vs. Undisputed

 

“Go Daddy-o” hits and out comes the jive-swingin’, lady lovin’ Cherry Poppin’ Daddy. The crowd pops for his usual dance routine.

 

“Red” hits and the crowd gives a good pop for Undisputed. He’ll be facing off against K-Ness in the pre-game show for Anglemania, and he hopes to send a message here tonight.

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Collar and elbow tie-up in the center of the ring, and CPD pushes down Undisputed. He shows off some dancing moves, but as he goes for a clothesline Undisputed ducks and catches him in a quick snap suplex. However, CPD shoves Undisputed into the corner and catches him coming out with the Whip It! Cover gets two. Daddy goes for the Sweetheart Suplex, but Undisputed fights out and lands a Fisherman’s Suplex for a two count.

 

Undisputed holds onto a front face lock, but Cherry Poppin’ Daddy pushes him into the turnbuckle. However, Undisputed climbs up the turnbuckle, and comes down on CPD with a corkscrew moonsault. Undisputed nails a DDT, and goes up top. Cherry Poppin’ Daddy gets up, turns around, and gets nailed by the Final Round! 1, 2, 3!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: Undisputed (via the Final Round)

 

Coach: A great match, and a great showing by both men.

Cole: Undisputed showing that he is definitely ready for K-Ness come tomorrow night.

 

[Earlier in the week]

JR is seen drinking coffee, suddenly the Taskmaster approaches him.

 

Mario: You wanted to see me?!

JR: Yeah! I wanted to see you! I want to bet you $5 that my boys can beat your Dungeon of Doom in a street fight! BY GAWD!

Mario: Okay, I’m not really doing anything, so when? And where?

JR: This Saturday, at the Road to Anglemania tapings.

Mario: Fine, I’ll bring my boys to beat up your fat boys.

JR: AAAAHH!! BY GAWD!!! THAT WAS AN INSULT, THAT WASN’T RIGHT, COME ON!

 

Mario smiles and leaves.

 

JR: I hope that big ol’ hoss Jingus stomps a mudhole in you, and walks it dry!

 

Mario’s smile turns into anger.

 

Mario: We’ll see about that hoss man!!

 

Cole: Well that was…bizarre.

Coach: But hey, it looks like we’ll see some inter-promotional action today on the final stop on the Road to Anglemania~!

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

*Malice plays as Peter Knight strides down to the ring alone. The fans seem to be kind of confused at the absence of Parka and Shattered Dreams, but boo the bodyguard anyway. He steps into the ring and, after sneering at the crowd…..gets a mic? He’s gonna speak?*

 

PK: “I’m sure all of you are excited since Anglemania is just a few days away, right?” *crowd pops* “Well, I am too, because my associates will finally get their hands on those little punks the Boogie Knights.” *Crowd pops again* “Oh, you like those pussies, don’t you? Well, at Anglemania, you will see them, oh yes, you will see them beaten and bloodied, and pinned 1-2-3.” *Crowd boos* “Before that, we want to give a demonstration to everyone here, everyone in TV Land, and, especially, Kotz and Zorin, what’s in store for them on Sunday. So let’s give a warm welcome to the fastest rising tag-team in the OaOast, the Dream Machines!!”

 

*California Love begins as an El Camino bounces down the ramp to the ring and LPYC and SD hop into the ring. Parka adjusts his mask while Shattered blows kisses to the crowd.*

 

PK: “And, their victims…I mean, opponents.”

 

*Some aerobics music plays as Skip and Zip, the Bodydonnas, walk to the ring to laughter from the fans.*

 

PK: “Now, gentlemen, pretend these are your Anglemania opponents, and show them what’s in store!”

 

LPYC and SD go to town on them; whipping each into the ropes and delivering hard double-team clotheslines. They take Skip and hit a Dream Catcher, driving his head into the mat. Zip gets off easy; he only gets a Day of the Dead, courtesy of Parka. Knight boots away on them in the meantime and yells “How does that feel, Kotzy, uh? Zorin? Enjoying the show!?” Knight delivers Knightmares to each of them as the Machines finish their assault as boos rain down from the crowd. LPYC grabs the mic, panting not only in exhaustion, but rage.

 

LPYC: Listen up, you little bitches!! This is only a TASTE of what we have for you on Sunday. Show up, and you’ll get the full course.

 

*California Love plays again as OaOast officials check on the motionless pair in the ring.*

 

Coach: I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’VE SEEN!

Cole: The Dream Machines absolutely DESTROYED the former WWF Tag Team Champions!

Coach: …that’s not saying much.

Cole: But imagine if this happens tomorrow? Oh my GOD!

 

(They are backstage in The Mad Cappa's private locker room as Cappa and Vince Rusco are psyching up for AngleMania II!)

 

Vince Rusco: "AngleMania II! Tommorrow is THE day! The grandest stage of them all! The REAL showcase of the immortals! You are gonna' prove that you are not a joke!You are gonna' walk out of Tokyo the new Puerto Rican Champion!"

 

The Mad Cappa: "I can't wait to go to Tokyo! I want to buy some anime and maybe get a Lancer Evolution IV or..."

 

VR: (Interrupts) "Some of them fine ass women!"

 

Both: (At the same time) "O hell yeah!"

 

TMC: "Did you see that fine mamacita Lindsay? She needs to go to a real man!"

 

VR: "Heh, anything is an improvement over Puerto Rican Lightning!"

 

TMC: "I have a concern though."

 

VR: "What is it?"

 

TMC: "Our flight for Tokyo leaves in two hours! So why did you book me in a match for tonight?!"

 

VR: "That's because, uh, I overlooked it! However, just worry about your match and I'll worry about the flight!"

 

(A door knocks.)

 

VR: "Come on in!"

 

(The door opens as an OAOAST official walks in.)

 

Official: "I'm sorry to report this but your match in Tokyo has been moved to Calgary!"

 

Both: (At the same time.) "WHAT?!"

 

Official: "So switch your flight from Tokyo to Calgary. Have a good day gentlemen." (He walks out.)

 

TMC: "Gatamela! I was so lookin' forward to goin' to Tokyo! It's like going from the penthouse down to the local dump!"

 

VR: "Look at it like this, we can make fun of Canadians!"

 

TMC: "However, they do have one good thing."

 

Both: (At the same time.) "Canadian beer!"

 

(Rusco grabs two beers, tosses one to Cappa, and they toast.)

 

VR: (Toasting) "To victory at AngleMania II! To the downfall of Naz and Lightning!"

 

Coach: Well, we’ll see about that. I have my money on the veteran, Naz Mistry.

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, up next, Kotzenjunge takes on K-NESS~!

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Kotzenjunge (w/Zorin) vs. K-NESS

 

The arena turns dark and Trans Magic hits as K-NESS makes his way to the ring to a goog pop.

 

He isn’t in the ring yet when “The Devil is a DJ” hits and Kotzenjunge, accompanied by Zorin dances to the ring, both competitors are ready and the bell rings.

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Cole: Please note that if either L.A Parka of Shattered Dreams interfere, they lose their match against the Boogie Knights 2k3 at AngleMania II, which is TOMORROW NIGHT~! folks.

Coach: Also, this is only K-NESS’s third OAOAST match and he’s facing a dancer for the second week in a row!

Cole:Who cares?

Coach:Me, I’m just really dissapointed that Kotz can’t dance the CHARLESTON~!, unlike some other guy.

 

Kotzenjunge wants a test of strength to start and K-NESS accepts, but Kotz goes for a kick to the gut, K-NESS counters, Dragon Screw!. He goes for the Sharpshooter but Kotz pushes him into the corner and gets up, following with a BIG kick to the head.

 

Cole: Not a very wise decision by K-NESS, an experienced wrestler would’ve known that Kotzenjunge wasn’t ready for the Sharpshooter but K-NESS learned the hard way.

 

Kotz STOMPS~! K-NESS and irish whips him, but it gets reversed, Western Lariat misses, Spinning Heel Kick by Kotz!, he covers: 1.. 2.. nope, K-NESS kicks out. Kotz turns away and dances a bit for the crowd whiles K-NESS gets up, he locks his arms around Kotz’s waist and gets a Backdrop Suplex, then another, and another one, he goes for the pin: 1.. 2.. 2.9! K-NESS goes to the top rope.

 

Cole: What’s he doing there?, a wrestler like K-NESS has no business being on the top rope.

Coach: I think he may be going for his kneedrop.

 

K-NESS dives but Kotzenjunge rolls out of the way and K-NESS comes crashing down on the mat.He’s now on the ground, holding his knee, SCREAMING in pain.

 

Coach: You know K-NESS, kneepads might be useful if you don’t want to get both knees repalced by the time you’re 35.

 

Kotz is back in the ring and irish whips his opponent, then hotshots him into the ropes.Kotzenjunge then holds the referee’s attention as Zorin climbs on the appron and chokes K-NESS on the ropes.Kotz then sets him up for the Last Record but no!, K-NESS falls behind him and runs into the ropes!, WESTERN LARIATOOOO!, K-NESS covers:

1.. 2.. 2.9999!!!!!, the crowd is getting really hot as K-NESS goes for the High-Angle Exploder, but Kotz reverses and hits THE LAST RECORD~!

 

Cole: W... What the hell?, Kingpk is running down the aisle and has steel chair!

 

Kingpk damn near KILLS Kotzenjunge with the MOTHER of all chairshots, and the referee says this one is over.

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Winner: Kotzenjunge (via DQ) in 5:42

 

Shattered Dreams and L.A Parka both run in, so does Zorin and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA~!, K-NESS wisely walks away while The Dream Machines are laying an UNHOLY BEATING on The Boogie Knights.

 

Cole: MY GOD!, I’ve never seen such a beatdown, are The Boogie Knights even going to be able to compete at AngleMania? We’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to see!

 

**Huge blasts of pyro suddenly erupt atop the entrance ramp and 50 Cent's "In Da Club" is played. Immediately, the Coach tries to put over this superstar.**

 

Jonathon Coachman: WOW guys! Listen to that music! Only cool superstars have rap music entrances!

 

**A newcomer, Terry Simmons then comes out of the entrance and walks down to the ring.**

 

Coach: Look at the size of that guy! I've never seen a guy as big as him in all my life before!

 

**Terry Simmons then tries to show his athleticism by jumping right onto the ring apron. However, Simmons just can't jump that high and slips while trying to land in the ring. Simmons, in embarrassment, quickly gets into the ring by the ring steps. Seeing that the crowd just doesn't care still, another announcer comes out to verbally put over Simmons.**

 

Coach: Well, would you look at that.... Simmons, ugh... he's so big that... ugh...

 

Marc Lloyd: Well obviously, he's too good for jumping! He could just jump over the ropes, but NO! This guy chooses not to do such an easy thing to do! This guy is frightening!

 

**Terry Simmons gets into the ring and immediately grabs a mic to speak to the unimpressed crowd. He begins by bragging uselessly about his slightly above average characteristics**

 

Terry Simmons: My name is Terry Simmons! I am 6 feet 8 inches tall! I am 325 pounds of pain! I am only 17 years old! You will fear me because I am exactly all of that!

 

**Still, the crowd doesn't care so Josh Matthews is sent out to put Simmons over.**

 

Matthews: Oh man, did you hear what he just said? This guy's so big, he's a bully!

 

Lloyd: He's scary folks, he's making my arms shiver! I am scared!

 

**Simmons sees that this still isn't working, so he tries to get over through other methods. Another two announcers are sent out and Simmons begins with an emotional story.**

 

Michael Cole: Simmons, he's huge, he's enormous, he's a monster and by golly, he's gonna talk!

 

JR: Bah god folks! He's musta played football! This guy's as big as the sky on a blue mooned Monday bah God!

 

Simmons: You know, it took me a while to get into the OAOAST. Yes, it took quite a lot of hard work and dedication, dedication that started ever since I was a boy. And this journey to the OAOAST was a very emotional and inspirational journey that has finally culminated right here. That journey of dedication and work ethic reminds me of a similar story about myself.

 

Lloyd: Folks, this is getting good! I'm dying of eagerness to hear this story!

 

Coach: This is gonna get good! **Tears begin to flow before Simmons begins.**

 

Simmons: You see, when I was a child, I was not 6 feet 8 inches. At the age of 8, I was only 3 or 4 feet tall, believe it or not. And back when I was that small, I always wanted to eat some cookies. But cookies were always held in a big cookie jar atop a all counter. As a kid, I would reach and reach, but I would never be able to get those cookies. But you know, I really wanted those cookies. I wanted them so bad so I worked at it. Sure, my momma would get some cookies out of the jar for me, but that wasn't enough! I needed my cookies and finally, one day I reached those cookies on top of that big cookie jar.

 

Cole: Oh wow... that was some story wasn't it? I am so inspired and encouraged now all by that story!

 

Mathews: You're right, that was a great story. This ladies and gentlemen, is why Simmons is the greatest newcomer in the OAOAST!

 

Lloyd: Folks, I just am amazed at Simmon's story. Boy, oh boy, I just can't get enough of this man!

 

JR: By god, that was as inspirational as a baby boy given life by his momma on the break of jack frost bah god!!

 

Coach: **cries**

 

**Simmons then takes a moment in the corner to gather his thoughts and get "sympathy" from the crowd from that story. Right after, Simmons does his Happy Dance and the crowd is baffled at what he's doing.**

 

Cole: He's is intense folks! Look at him in that ring!

 

JR: Boy, he's homier in that ring that a pet coon in a pet cave bah God!!

 

Coach: **Still crying.**

 

Simmons: Now that I am here, my journey is not over! This message is to everyone in that locker-room, you are not safe from the pain!

 

Matthews: Did you hear that! He's dangerous and NOBODY is safe now that Simmons is here!

 

Cole: This guys huge! This guys enormous! This guys intense! This guys a MONSTER!

 

JR: Bah God!! He's more dangerous than a grizzly bear with an AK-47 shootin and spooting like a madman bah God!!

 

**Simmons, not knowing what exactly to do does his Happy Dance some more and leaves the ring.**

 

Lloyd: People are no longer safe in the back, cuz Terry SImmons is here!!

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

When we come back, we are in a graveyard. It’s raining, and the only sounds that can be heard are raindrops pit-pattering on various surfaces. After a bright flash of lightning and booming roll of thunder, we see a figure standing under a banyan tree. Dressed in a long black overcoat, he walks from under the shadow of the tree to reveal his identity: The Superstar.

 

Superstar: So here we are. Just twenty-four hours away from the biggest show in OAOAST history. Tomorrow night, I’m set to take on a supposed legend in a match that’s been months in the making.

 

::Superstar begins a slow walk through the rainy graveyard::

 

Superstar: I still remember everything that was said to me. Things that made me wonder why the hell I was even with this company.

 

::Voice-overs are heard of some things said by various OAOAST members::

 

Tony: Now, Superstar is a small fish in an ocean of sharks…

 

Jesse: …obviously, Superstar is the weak link on either team…

 

Anglesault: Supershit will NEVER beat me, because he is simply not good enough.

 

::Superstar stops for a minute and gazes up into the dark-gray sky. He then continues his slow walk::

 

Superstar: I started to wonder why in the hell I was doing what I was doing. WHY would I help Tony after months of him subtly putting me down in every way possible? Why would I want to be considered as “the little engine that could?” I hate being the spunky fan-favorite. It’s not me. I am who I am. I am The Superstar.

 

::The rain starts to come down harder, and Superstar pulls out a black umbrella::

 

Superstar: Tony, I don’t want to fight you tomorrow night at Anglemania. I don’t want to see what you’ll have to be going through. In no uncertain terms, Tony, I am going to destroy you. I am going to take everything that you have inside of you and break it. It’s going to be embarrassing. And for that, I feel sorry for you.

 

You’ve been built up as a legend in the OAOAST. It should be an HONOR to fight you. But it’s not. There is no doubt in my mind that tomorrow night, I will defeat you. I will end your worthless career and everything you had going for yourself. But that’s not it.

 

TODAY. Yes, Tony, Today. One day before our Anglemania main event, I am going to euthanize your career. These people thought they were going to see a worthless shill show today? They’re dead wrong. Because today, you and I are going to have a fight inside of a STEEL CAGE.

 

I’m going to make it so you don’t survive until tomorrow. I don’t want you to tarnish your so-called legacy any further than you already have. This is the end.

 

::Superstar stops in front of an empty grave site, and picks up a shovel::

 

Tony, the end is here. Your grave is waiting.

 

::Superstar drives the shovel into the wet soil::

 

Start digging.

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Coach: Those were very strong words by the Superstar. It seems like he’s dead serious on ending the career of Tony tomorrow night.

Cole: But will there be a MATCH tomorrow night? We just found out that in today’s main event, Superstar and Tony will go one-on-one in a Steel Cage Match! Unbelievable!

 

THE MAD CAPPA VS. LITTLE LIGHTNING

 

Final Audition plays up, but quickly changes to Ode to Joy as The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco come out to boos and "Rusco sucks" chants! Cappa has a goofy look on his face. Rusco has the mic. He says, "I would like to share something important with ya'! You're not goin to AngleMania (points at crowd) and we arrrre! Hahahahahaha! (Crowd boos!) Naz, Lightning, we are gonna' make you wish you guys didn't show up for AngleMania!"

 

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine plays as a little spark hits the set! A midget version of Puerto Rican Lightning comes out to laughs! It's Little Lightning! The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco are laughing in the ring! Rusco leaves the ring as Little Lightning goes in.

 

The bell sounds as Little Lightning tries to swing at Cappa, but Cappa just holds him away in bay! Cappa yawns! He pushes Little Lightning away. Little Lightning bounces back into a big boot from Cappa! Cappa suplexes Little Lightning and goes for the cover. Cappa gets Little Lightning up at 2, still laughing, and does an x-factor on Little Lightning! Cappa goes on the top turnbuckle for a legdrop, but he misses Little Lightning completely! Little Lightning gets back up and does a flipping sommersault on Cappa! Cappa tosses Little Lightning up into the air and turns it into a BUST A CAP! Little Lightning is out! Cappa turns around to laugh some more!

 

Suddenly, the crowd cheers as the real Puerto Rican Lightning comes out from the audience! He takes Little Lightning out of the ring and switches with him! Cappa turns around right into a superkick from Lightning! The ref calls for the disqualification bell in a victory for Cappa! Cappa gets back up and starts slugging away at Lightning! It has now turned into a brawl! The security forces run out again to break up the brawl to boos!

 

Winner: The Mad Cappa (via DQ)

 

Cole: That was insane! The feud between Cappa, Mistry, and Lightning will come to a head tomorrow night at Anglemania!

Coach: I love the midget! I love him!

 

YOU CAME TO ME

Shot of a woman's silhouette, massive backlit by a golden light, walking towards the camera

 

IN A DREAM LAST NIGHT

Poet in the chair with the light bulb swaying overhead

 

YOU WERE STANDING

The woman looks a lot like STEPHANIE MCMAHON

 

IN A BRILLIANT LIGHT

The light reveals her to be Black Widow

 

ONE MINUTE HERE

She kneels in front of Poet as the light bulb moves overhead

 

AND THE NEXT YOU WERE GONE

The light bulb swings away and when it comes back she's gone

 

I THOUGHT YOU COULD STAY

Widow sitting outside the ring during an Infernales match

 

BUT I WAS SO WRONG

Poet going through a table from BLOODY, BATTERED, and BEATEN

 

THE END IS HERE

Shot of the massive CELL

 

THE GAME IS OVER

Shot of JINGUS and MYSTERY ESKIMO

 

NO MORE PRETENDING

Poet unmasking himself

 

NO MORE

Shot of Poet and Jingus going at each other

 

NO MORE

Shot of Dandy and Eskimo going at each other

 

THE END IS HERE

Shot of JINGUS

 

THE END IS HERE

Shot of ESKIMO

 

THE END IS HERE

Shot of SPIDERPOET

 

THE END IS HERE

Shot of El DANDY

 

THE END IS HERE

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Cole: That was an amazing video for what should be an amazing match come tomorrow night at AngleMania.

Coach: For real! I mean, the two best teams in the OAOAST today, in a STAIRWAY TO OBLIVION match for the Tag Team Championship!

Cole: As a matter of fact, let’s check out the entire OAOAST Anglemania II card right now!

 

OAOAST World Heavyweight Title:

Anglesault (Champion) vs. Angle-Plex

 

Winner of AS/AP (Champion) vs. Zack Malibu

 

Big Poppa Popick vs. Alfdogg

 

OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Thunderkid (Champion) vs. "Your Hero" Andrew

 

Mario vs. JINGUS

 

OAOAST X CHAMPIONSHIP

Reject (Champion) vs. Mr. ZsasZ

 

Sandman9000 vs. The Purist

 

The Superstar vs. Tony "The Body”

 

OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Los Infernales vs. Mystery Weirdness Connection

 

Boogie Knights 2K3 vs. the Dream Machines

 

Brock Ausstin vs Jailbait

 

PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Puerto Rican Lightning (champion) vs Naz Mistry vs The Mad Cappa

 

BONUS MATCH

Undisputed vs. K-Ness

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Classic HeldDOWN! Moment:

 

Angle-Plex vs. Jingus

 

 

VERDI’S REQUIRM hits and the monster Jingus enters the ring accompanied by MarioLogan. SONG 2. By Blur rock’s the arena and The self-proclaimed most popular member of the aWo- Angle-Plex enters the arena. He is accompanied by BIG.

 

Angle-Plex charges Jingus and goes for the SPEAR. But he just bounces off of Jingus. Angle-Plex quickly gets to his feet and goes for the SPINNING HEEL KICK but Jingus catches him and tosses him clear across the ring. Angle-Plex gets to his feet rather slower than he did the first time, he approaches Jingus slowly, all of a sudden he points downa t Jingus’ss feet and says “Your Shoe laces are untied!” Jingus looks down and Angle-Plex boots Jingus in the balls. Jingus is doubled over in agony so Angle-Plex hits the SPINNING DDT for 2.9 Angle-Plex hits the ANGLE-PLEX 1…2… NO Jingus kicks out of it and rises to his feet. Angle-Plex tries to beg off but Jingus locks on the Iron Claw and lifts him up for the CLAW SLAM. Jingus covers 1…2… but BIG pulls Jingus out of the ring. Mario takes the chance to slip into the ring with a chair. BIG sees this and grabs a chair of his own. BIG takes out Jingus with a chair at the same time Mario takes out Angle-Plex with a chair. The Ref Calls for the bell…

 

DOUBLE DQ

 

Winner: CWM who’s sense of humor will never allow Agnes or Jingus to win a match.

 

Announcer: The following contest is a street fight to the end!

 

Coach: Oh man Cole, it’s TIME~!

Cole: I can’t wait to see the Dungeon lose to JR’s cronies!

 

JR’s theme plays, and he comes out with, 3MW, A-Train, Brock, Nash, Steiner, Y2J, Big Show, Test, Rikishi, Nathan Jones, Kane, the Undertaker, and the World’s Fattest Man (Mark Henry). They enter the ring, and take up all of the space, the ring appears to be sinking now.

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Announcer: Introducing next, the Dungeon of Doom.

 

Mario only has three hosses, Jason, The Shape, and a new guy, being led out, by Dave Mustaine, it appears to be the Skeleton thing from the Megadeth albums covers. Metallica are all holding guitars, and Robert Trujillo is missing from the group.

 

[Camera in a recording studio]

Bob Rock is pointing a gun at Robert Trujillo.

 

Bob: All right, you heard what Lars said for you to do! Now play!!!

 

Robert obligies.

 

[back to the ring]

The Dungeon enters the ring, and the ring sinks even farther, with the three Dungeon hosses, and the Metallica members. If all Metallica members were combined, they would equal the weight of one hoss, so JR clearly has the advantage.

 

Bell rings.

 

JR’s boys toss Y2J into the Dungeon crowd, who tear him apart right away. The hosses, toss attack Metallica, with some falling outside. Test hits Dave with the BOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!! Undetaker and Kane chokeslam Jaymz and Jason Newstead. Nathan Jones attacks Cliff with a shitty spin kick (since Cliff is not a hoss, he is forced to sell it). The three Samoans pound on Kirk, and the Phantom. Lars takes an F5 into the post from Brock, and the AAAAAAAAAAAHTHECHOKESLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!! From the Big Show. Kevin Nash attempts to run into the action, but busts his quad, before reaching the crowd. A-Train hits the train wreck on Dave.

 

HHH finally joins in, he orders the hosses, and Freddy to the outside, on Mario’s orders, HHH attacks Jericho with the sledgehammer. The remaining monsters no-sell all of the shitty attacks from JR’s hosses. The Megadeth monster pounds on the former T & A members, ending with two Tombstones onto the cement. Then the Faces work on the Samoans, somehow Jason’s hockey mask ends up in Rikishi’s ass. Freddy then turns his attentions to Nash, he stomps him for a while, then gets F5ed by Brock, but no sells, Freddy slaps the Mandible Claw on him. Jason hits the Clothesline from Hell on Jones, and takes the Big Show out with the chokeslam onto a table, which does not break. The Shape slugs it out with the Brothers of Destruction, with all three no-selling.

 

Mario taunts JR, and he gets his $5 from him.

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA……………! Glass Breaks

 

Even thought JR is not on commentary, you can still hear him marking out.

 

STONE COLD!!!! STONE COLD!!! STONE COLD!!!!

 

Steve Austin runs in and stuns HHH. Metallica and the Phantom run in Kirk, and Dave receive a double stunner, the Phantom is tossed outside. Jason goes next, and so does Jaymz, who Sgt. Slaughter sells it. Lars gets tossed into a corner, and gets a mudhole stomped into him, Cliff interrupts him, and gets a stunner to, somehow Cliff falls outside. Lars gets up, but gets flipped off, and stunned, he Rocky sells it.

 

STONE COLD!!!! STONE COLD!!! STONE COLD!!!!

 

Mario orders the remaining monsters in, Jason takes out the Brothers of Destruction, with massive clotheslines. Austin stuns Freddy, who Rocky sells it, and then the Shape. Austin then hits the Megadeth monster with the stunner, and his head falls off. Jason runs in, and hits a running boot to Austin. Austin comes back with a low blow, and slugs it out with the big hoss, Austin goes down again, and hits another low blow, Austin stuns him. Autsin starts drinking a beer, and pouring it on Lars.

 

JR gets his $5, and another from Mario. JR is now $5 richer, and starts drinking with Austin.

 

Cole: Well, we got our complete dose of “weird” for the week, courtesy of Mario.

Coach: And ladies and gentlemen, following this commercial break, IT IS TIME. AngleMania has come a day early, as Tony and The Superstar will go one-on-one in an unforgiving Steel Cage Match.

Coach: It…Is…NEXT~!

 

(commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

The Superstar vs. Tony “The Body”

 

The unmerciful steel cage (not blue steel bars WWE used to use) begins to lower as the fans cheer wildly for this unscheduled match they're about to witness.

 

Ring Announcer: The following contest is a steel cage match! The only way to win is by pinfall.

 

The fans begin to boo as "Big Long Now" blasts over the loud speakers.

 

Ring Announcer: Introducing first, from Naples, Florida -- The Superstar!

 

The cocky Superstar emerges from the curtin looking as confident and cocky as ever, trash-talking with the fans at ringside.

 

The crowd begins to jump up and down with excitement.

 

Out of nowhere Tony "The Body" smacks SS with a steel chair to the back, sending the flamboyant one down, while the crowd cheers on with approval.

 

Tony grabs SS by the hair on his head then smashes his face right onto the guardrails at ringside. Tony quickly picks up SS and drives his head repeatedly into the steel-steps near the ring. Tony looks at the wild crowd loving what they're seeing.

 

Tony slams SS into the steel cage before sending him inside the ring, surrounded by unforgiving steel.

 

Camera pans over the crowd.

 

As Tony enters the ring, SS nails a stiff kick to Tony's head. SS grabs Tony and slams him head-first into the fencing surround by steel. SS takes off the turnbuckle pad and drives Tony's head onto the exposed steel that is normally covered by the turnbuckle pad.

 

SS goes for the cover...1-2-NO, Tony kicked out.

 

SS whips Tony towards the exposed steel where a turnbuckle pad used to be at; the impact sends "The Body" back to SS who locks on THE MAIN EVENT SLEEPER!

 

Crowd boos.

 

Tony goes down to one knee, feeling the effects of the main event sleeper. The referee begins to check Tony to make sure he isn't endangering himself by not giving up.

 

Right when the ref is about to raise Tony's arm, Tony tries one more attempt to break free from the sleeper as he goes backward and drives SS into the turnbuckles until he finally let's go of the hold.

 

Both men stagger to their feet. SS throws a right but Tony ducks, drives a knee to SS's gut and hits THE RUDE AWAKENING~! Tony with the cover...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING DING *

 

The referee gets up, waving his hands saying "TWO! TWO!" The timekeeper rang the bell prematurely. The fans thought it was over. Tony "The Body" thought it was over. But only a two count.

 

SS tries to hit Tony with a running clothesline but Tony ducks. SS attempts another but once again Tony ducks which causes SS to nail the referee with the clothesline. SS looks at the ref, then turns around right into an OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!

 

Massive pop from the crowd.

 

Tony goes for the cover but there's no referee. Tony gets up and looks around, then sees the ref on laying on the mat, out cold.

 

Boos (although you can hear some cheers) kick up in the crowd.

 

Angle-Plex is climbing the cage! Tony goes to meet AP who's already halfway up the cage. Tony greets AP with right hands, then SUPLEXES AP off the top of the cage which causes a sickening and loud THUD!

 

Huge pop.

 

Everybody (SS, Tony, AP and the referee) in the ring is down.

 

The crowd begins to boo again, this time because the current OAOAST champion Anglesault (wearing the OAOAST championship around his waist) is making his way to the ring with bolt cutters.

AS cuts the chain keeping the cage door close. AS enters the ring and nails AP in the head with the OAOAST title.

 

Now the crowd is going wild!

 

It's Zack Malibu! Zack is climbing the cage. AS is stomping on AP. AS turns around holding his title high in the air and gets nailed with a flying clothesline off the top of the cage by Zack -- to a big-time Hollywood superstar like pop -- which causes AS to drop the OAOAST title, and the ring to COLLAPSE!!

 

"Holy Shit" chants from the crowd.

 

The Purist and Jim Cornette rush the ring but they're quickly chased off by Sandman, carrying a weedwhacker.

 

AS and AP are now attacking Zack while throwing punches at each other.

 

Alfdogg and BPP start making their way to the ring to help out the good fellas.

 

Alf and AS get into a fist-fight while Zack and AP are duking it out right behind them.

 

The entire heel side of the OAOAST roster runs towards the ring, but all the faces on the roster bone rush them. We got a massive brawl outside the cage with the entire OAOAST roster; oddly enough, those getting it on have matches with each other at AngleMania II.

 

Meanwhile, back inside the steel cage, BPP grabs the OAOAST title and attempts to hit AS with the title but AS moves and BPP ends up hitting Zack with the championship.

 

The crowd gasps.

 

SS and Tony are fighing in the corner. The roster brawl is still going on outside.

 

Back in the collasped ring, AS shoves Alf into BPP, then applies the SCREAMS OF NO REPLY on Zack. AP then hits AS with a running clothesline. The entire OAOAST roster is fighting each other as we head back to Michael Cole and The Coach.

 

Coach: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT~?!? What an AMAZING end to what has been a wonderful month on the Road to Anglemania.

 

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, we can not tell you enough how great AngleMania II is going to be tomorrow night. Feuds will end, grudges will be settled, Championships will be fought for, and we may see the end of a career. You DO NOT want to miss AngleMania II.

 

Coach: Cole? *sniff* I’m going to miss you.

Cole: It’s been a great run, Coach. Here’s hoping we can team again in the future. Thanks, buddy.

 

The two men hug as they once again say “THANK YOU” to everyone.

 

[Guest The Superstar]

© 2003 OAOAST Entertainment

 

Director

 

The Superstar

 

Writers

 

The Superstar

Tony

Mario

SpiderPoet

KingPK

Kanadian Krusty

The Electrifyer

The Mad Cappa

 

 

*Once again, thank you to EVERYONE for making OAOAST Road to AngleMania II such a success. I hope you enjoyed reading it every week as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for everything, and let’s get ready for ANGLEMANIA~!*

 

Feedback here.

[Guest SP-1]

WHOO, I am PUMPED. AngleMania is going to RAWK

[Guest Zack Malibu]

My clothesline made the ring collapse? I'M A HOSS BAH GAWD~!

 

Awesome show, glad to see Electrifyer already getting in on things, and Supes you had an awesome promo.

 

When are Coach and Cole gonna team again .

[Guest Angle-plex]

Classic HeldDOWN! Moment:

 

Angle-Plex vs. Jingus

 

 

VERDI’S REQUIRM hits and the monster Jingus enters the ring accompanied by MarioLogan. SONG 2. By Blur rock’s the arena and The self-proclaimed most popular member of the aWo- Angle-Plex enters the arena. He is accompanied by BIG.

 

Angle-Plex charges Jingus and goes for the SPEAR. But he just bounces off of Jingus. Angle-Plex quickly gets to his feet and goes for the SPINNING HEEL KICK but Jingus catches him and tosses him clear across the ring. Angle-Plex gets to his feet rather slower than he did the first time, he approaches Jingus slowly, all of a sudden he points downa t Jingus’ss feet and says “Your Shoe laces are untied!” Jingus looks down and Angle-Plex boots Jingus in the balls. Jingus is doubled over in agony so Angle-Plex hits the SPINNING DDT for 2.9 Angle-Plex hits the ANGLE-PLEX 1…2… NO Jingus kicks out of it and rises to his feet. Angle-Plex tries to beg off but Jingus locks on the Iron Claw and lifts him up for the CLAW SLAM. Jingus covers 1…2… but BIG pulls Jingus out of the ring. Mario takes the chance to slip into the ring with a chair. BIG sees this and grabs a chair of his own. BIG takes out Jingus with a chair at the same time Mario takes out Angle-Plex with a chair. The Ref Calls for the bell…

 

DOUBLE DQ

 

Winner: CWM who’s sense of humor will never allow Agnes or Jingus to win a match.

Indeed. Cole and Coach > JR and Jesse

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Winner: CWM who’s sense of humor will never allow Agnes or Jingus to win a match.

 

mwahahahaha

[Guest The Superstar]

C W M~!!

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

L O S E R!

[Guest The Superstar]

Come now, CWM, I *LOVE* you~~~!

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Starts CWM chant::

 

I miss ya buddy!

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I miss you all too

[Guest Tony149]

My clothesline made the ring collapse? I'M A HOSS BAH GAWD~!

 

When are Coach and Cole gonna team again .

Actually, after the suplex off the top of the cage, the ring made a sickening thud. When you came off the top of the cage with the clothesline, the impact forced the ring to collaspe.

 

Coach and Cole work again at AM II.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

So is there going to be some sort of announcement at AM2 saying that our match is still on?

 

That was kind of left up in the air and if the match just goes on without word it will look odd.

[Guest Kingpk]

The stip didn't mention ME interfering. Typical of Michael Cole to totally miss that.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

Yeah the Michael Cole comment kind of left an odd feeling in the air though.

[Guest SP-1]

Cole: W... What the hell?, Kingpk is running down the aisle and has steel chair!

 

LOL, I can just see Cole with a completely baffled look on his face before trying to recover and continue commentary. It's actually really funny in my mind's eye.

[Guest KanadianKrusty]

So is there going to be some sort of announcement at AM2 saying that our match is still on?

 

That was kind of left up in the air and if the match just goes on without word it will look odd.

Um...yeah I made a mistake while writing the ending, it should have been corrected then but I learned that I had an AM2 match to write and I was totally running out of time.