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Guest TSMAdmin

WWE Heat Recap: March 9th, 2003

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Guest TSMAdmin

My smart mark heart hath been broken. 1 year. 1 year without quite possibly the most well rounded wrestler of all time. 1 year without a man who, with time, could be the absolute BEST EVER. 1 year without my favorite current wrestler. 1 year without Kurt Angle is what we, the loyal fans of World Wrestling Entertainment are about to be subjected to.


Mere weeks before Wrestlemania XIX, Kurt’s injury couldn’t have happened at a worse time. We will now be deprived in what could have been one of the greatest matches of all time, Angle vs. Lesnar on the biggest stage in wrestling.


The tentative plan as I write this is to have the Wrestlemania headlining match on this week’s Smackdown. It won’t even be on a live show. It will be taped. People say Hogan vs. Goldberg on Nitro was a waste. This my readers; if it all goes through (which I doubt it will), will eclipse the stupidity of WCW booking said match on Nitro oh so long ago. I’m banking on some sort of screwjob ending or Angle vacating the tile... shit, I just hope something stops this match from happening. Save it for Wrestlemania XX. 20 years in the making. In the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden. Don’t waste it on a taped television show.


WWE probably won’t go through with the match, but we won’t be sure until the spoilers are up, late Tuesday night.


Get well soon Kurt. We already miss you.


Oh, before I forget, make sure to check out my good buddy, Austinhhh4life’s new board, The Getaway. If you post at the Smart Mark board, then his name should be very familiar to you. He's partnered his board up with Pro Wrestling Informer. If you're looking for a board with some great discussion amongst some of the smartest fans around, then make sure to check it out. Of course, his board is no whacked Out wrestling, but it's still worth a look. :)


Okay, enough shilling mourning over Kurt Angle’s injury. I’ve got a pre-taped B show to recap!


Heat opens up with a recap of Steve Austin thanking the fans on RAW. His appearance was obviously the driving force behind RAW’s 4.5 (Which I predicted, GO ME) rating last week.


The pyro goes off and it’s time for WWE Heat!


Your play by play man is a man who knows even less holds than The Ultimate Warrior, Jonathan Coachman. Your color commentator is a shrilly voiced, uninteresting, masculine Lita. Actually, I can’t really tell who’s on color and who’s on play by play, but that’s my best guess.


Shoddy announcing aside, Heat is off to a great start with LANCE~! Making his way to the ring. This week Lance will be tearing it up with the Tough Enough I champion, Maven.


Match One: Lance Storm (One half of the World Tag Team Champions) vs. Maven (Who’s eyebrows are one half the size they were when he debuted)

Storm and Maven start off talking trash, and they lock up. Armbar by Storm. Armdrag by Storm into an armbar, followed up by a hammerlock, reversed into a top wristlock by Maven. Storm elbows out and takes Maven down with a headlock takedown. Maven rolls it into a pin for one. Leg scissors by Maven, Storm bridges out into a kip up. Nice scientific work so far. Maven kips up himself, and they lock it up again. Side headlock by Storm, shoved off by Maven into the ropes. Shoulder block by Storm, and Maven hits a Fireman’s carry. He follows that up with an armdrag and an armbar. Storm fights out and drops an elbow but no one is home. Maven gets whipped into the corner, gets hit with a chop, but comes out fighting with rights and lefts. Maven gets sent into the corner again, but he elbows Storm. Storm tries for a Northern Lights Suplex which is blocked by Maven. Maven tries for a backslide, but Storm spins out of it and into a DDT. Wow, this has been a really solid match thus far. Maven rolls out of the ring to catch his breath. Storm goes after him, tosses him back in the ring and covers Maven for two. Snapmare by Storm followed by a quick leg drop and a two count. Storm locks Maven in an Ace Crusher hold, and Maven tries to get out. Storm turns it into a sleeper, but Maven rolls out. Maven fights back with some body shots and a forearm. Baaaack body drop by Maven, followed by the DROPKICK OF DOOM for two. Maven telegraphs a back drop and Storm catches him in the face with a stiff kick. Flapjack my Maven out of nowhere. Maven climbs to the top rope, but Storm knocks him down, and tries for a superplex. Maven shoves him off and hits a top rope bulldog for two. Storm tosses Maven outside to the apron. Storm tries to suplex him back in, but Maven reverses it. Maven tries for an enziguiri, but Storm moves out of the way and locks him in the move that has been called both the Straight Shooter and the Canadian Maple Leaf, the Half Boston Crab. Maven struggles to fight out of it, and eventually does. Small package by Maven for two. Storm locks in the SHARPSHOOTER, and it’s over. Maven still looked a little shaky, but Storm did a hell of a carry job, making this one of the best Heat matches we’ve seen in a while. If it were given a bit more time, it could have ventured into the realm of ***.



Steven Richards vs. The Hurricane is tonight’s main event. After these commercials, Heat will take a look back at the women’s action from last week’s RAW.


Highlights of Trish on Mad TV air. If you happen to be sitting at home on a Saturday night (and I hope you aren’t) then at least you’ll be able to watch Trish at 11 on FOX, on a second rate Saturday Night Live.


RAW Recap: Trish returns/Tag Match from RAW

Trish’s return adds more depth to a women’s division which is given more hype, build up and air-time than the Cruiserweight division.


Richards vs. The Hurricane is shilled again. Theodore Long and Rodney Mack make an appearance after these words from the WWE sponsors. They hype tomorrow’s RAW.


They hype Wrestlemania before the...


Lugz Boot of the Week

The boot of the week is Rodney Mack delivering one of the sloppiest Tiger Bombs I’ve ever seen. It’s sort of ironic that the guy they brought in to replace D’Lo almost broke someone’s neck in his WWE TV debut match.


Here comes Theodore Long and Rodney Mack right now. Long bitches about Mack not being on RAW these past 3 weeks. Hmm, maybe a botched Tiger Bomb that almost killed Al Snow? Nope, Teddy said it’s the white man holding him down. They seem to be getting some decent heat. This angle probably isn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t going anywhere with D’Lo, and it isn’t going anywhere with Mack, who from what I hear, has all the style and grace of Don Harris in the ring.


Richards vs. Hurricane is shilled again, as is Jericho and Christian’s Con-chair-to on RAW. Commercials follow.


RAW Recap: Jericho locks Stacy in the Walls/Jericho vs. Test

Wow, Jericho actually pinned Test with the Breakdown, of all things. After the match, Test gets a con-chair-to originally intended for Stacy, and Michaels runs in to make the save, throwing more fuel to the fire that should make for a great match at Wrestlemania XIX. Jericho busts Michaels open and challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania.


Richards vs. Hurricane is shilled once again. Highlights from The Rock and Austin’s altercation follow the Wrestlemania commercial and this commercial break.


Wrestlemania Moment

Steve Austin defeats Shawn Michaels for the then WWF title at Wrestlemania XIV. If the Attitude era hadn’t already arrived, it had with Austin’s title win.


RAW Recap: Austin Returns

Austin came back and cut up The Rock. The Rock wasn’t gonna have any of that, so with his awesome new intro, he came out and confronted Austin. Bischoff makes the Booker T vs. The Rock match for tonight’s RAW, and if The Rock wins, he gets his choice of HHH or Austin at Wrestlemania. Austin beats the crap out of 3 Minute Warning, Rock and Austin posedown, and that’s the end of the segment.


Booker T vs. The Rock is shilled for tonight's RAW. Richards vs. The Hurricane is next, after these commercials.


Here comes Richards (With a new theme, which sucks in comparison to his old one) with Victoria. Oh man, Victoria gets hotter and hotter by the second.


STAND BACK, THERE’S A HURRICANE COMIN’ THROUGH! Hurricane gets a huge pop. It’s just a shame that his rubs with The Rock have lead to of all things, him main eventing Heat this week.


Main Event: Steven Richards vs. The Hurricane

Tie-up to start, arm wringer by Hurricane. Side Headlock by Hurricane, shoved out of by Richards, followed by a shoulder block from the Hurricane. Hurricane poses for the crowd, and hits an armdrag on Richards. Shoulderblock by Richards, and he poses for the crowd. Richards goes off the ropes, but catches him by the throat. He tries for the Hurri-chokeslam, but Richards kicks out and whips Hurricane. Flying head scissors by The Hurricane, and the crowd is really into this one. Richards rolls to the outside, but Hurricane wastes no time and rolls Richards back into the ring. SLINGSHOT ROLLING INSIDE CRADLE by The Hurricane for two. Hurricane tries for a Hurricanranna, but Richards reverses it into a sitout powerbomb for two. Neckbreaker by Richards for two, and Richards mocks Hurricane’s pose. Richards pounds away on Hurricane and hits a back suplex for two. The Coach IDIOTICALLY says Booker T has never been a World Champion, while putting over his match with HHH at Wrestlemania. Snapmare by Richards, and he shoves his knee in Hurricane’s back. Richards keeps working on the back with more punches to the back and locks Hurricane back in the hold. Hurricane eventually fights out of it and hits a shoulder block. Hurricane goes for the Hurri-Suplex, which Richards blocks. Richards tries for the Steven Plex, bur Hurricane blocks and hits a vertical suplex. Irish whip by Richards, reversal, flying forearm and a clothesline by Hurricane. Rear naked choke drop by The Hurricane, and he takes to the top rope. Flying cross body by Hurricane for two. Hurricane calls for it, he sets Richards up for the Eye of the Hurricane, but Richards turns it into an Eye of the Hurricane of his own for two. Another cover by Richards for two. Richards and Victoria are frustrated. Stevie sets up for the Stevie-T, but Hurricane reverses it into the VERTEBREAKER!!!!!!!!! ONE... TWO... THREE! That’s the last time we’ll be seeing the Vertebreaker on WWE TV, sadly. Hurricane leaves to a huge pop.



They shill Booker T vs. The Rock once more before the show ends.



The show was mostly buildup for Wrestlemania. There were only two matches, but both were very good matches, ESPECIALLY by Heat standards. Solid edition of Heat. It could have used one more match up, but WWE gave us a good show this week, with a very good Storm vs. Maven match, and the FINAL VERTEBREAKER in WWE history.


Peter "FakeRazor" Ramoncolor>


As always, you can reach me here.


whacked Out wrestling


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