Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted March 30, 2003 I am saddened once again. Kurt Angle is out. Goldberg is in. That’s right, it’s almost definite that Bill Goldberg has signed with WWE. We, the loyal fans of Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Entertainment are losing quite possibly the greatest wrestler of all time, and in his place, we gain a stiff, whining, ex-football player who has absolutely no passion for wrestling. I could go on for days about how much I don’t like this, but I have a Heat recap to do... The show begins with a medley of Wrestlemania “America the Beautiful” performances, including Aretha Franklin, Willie Nelson, Boyz II Men Little Richard and Ray Charles; with various clips of WWE superstars with the armed forces. A nice little video package... one they’ll probably re-use again tonight at RAW. RAW Recap: The Rock sings to Bischoff I dig the singing, I must say. I guess this is to hype the “Rock” concert tonight on RAW. This week features the return of Jonathan Coachman, after a one week absence due to his acts at the Girls Gone Wild Pay Per View. You’d have to be retarded to put Coach out there for GGW and not expect him to make an ass out of himself. Oh yeah, Lita is in the booth as well, much to my dismay. Also much to my dismay, the show starts out with Jeff Hardy making his way to the ring. His pop seems to be getting smaller and smaller. His opponent is... I don’t know, WWE decided to go to Coach and Lita putting over Jeff Hardy in the booth when Finkel announced his name. Match One: Jeff Hardy vs. ??? Jeff’s opponent looks somewhat like Low-Ki from a distance. The Low-Ki look alike takes Jeff down with a waistlock take down and poses for the crowd. Ewww, up close he looks nothing like Low-Ki, actually. Jeff gets up and ties up with the guy and takes him down with an armdrag and a dropkick. Coach tells us that his name is Mark something. Clothesline by Jeff Hardy for two. Jeff goes for the Whisper In the Wind by Mark trips him up and hits a Spinning Fisherman’s Suplex much like Perry Saturn used to use for two. Snapmare by Mark into a headlock, Jeff fights out with a jawbreaker. Jeff hits some weak punches on Mark followed by the ILLEGAL LEGDROP TO THE NUTS for two. Mark tries for a suplex but Jeff blocks it. Waistlock by Jeff into a pin for two. Jeff gets whipped to the buckle and Mark sets him up on the top rope backwards. Jeff knocks him off and hits the Swanton Bomb for the win. 1/4* 3 Minute Warning square off against Tommy Dreamer and Spike Dudley in tonight’s main event. Wrestlemania Flashback: Kane chokeslams Pete Rose at Wrestlemania 2000, and Rikishi gives him a stinkface. Commercials follow. A video package for the Wrestlemania Press Conference is shown, which puts over all of the matches as well as the TRUE SELLING POINT OF THE SHOW, the MILLER LIGHT CATFIGHT GIRLS! Here comes Al Snow to a pretty big pop. His opponent is a jobber by the name of Steve Fender. Match Two: Al Snow vs. Steve Fender Tie-up to start, armbar by Al Snow. Snow flips Fender over with the armbar locked in and cinches back on it. Arm wringer keeping the armbar intact followed by a headbutt. Fender whips out of it and hits Snow with some rights and lefts. Back Suplex with a Pumphandle by Snow for two and Fender is pleading with Snow to leave him alone. Fender takes advantage with a clothesline and some clubs to the neck. Scoop slam by Fender followed by a springboard dropkick for two. Fender nails Snow with some more shots in the corner, and tries for springboard moonsault in the corner. Snow moves out of the way but Fender catches himself. Clothesline by Al, and he goes to work on Fender in the corner with some big chops. Snow whips Fender to the other turnbuckle but he gets elbowed. Fender goes for a front dropkick off the top by Snow swats him away. Big swing by Snow followed by a big right hand taking down Fender. Snow locks the arms and hits the HEADBUTTS OF DOOM, followed by a nice neckbreaker. Snow takes the top and hits a cross body. Snow signals for the Snowplow and HITS IT for the win. Fender put Snow over well, and showed some promise himself. ½* The Shawn Michaels Wrestlemania video package is aired, which is a pretty sweet little video package. 3 Minute Warning vs. Spike and Dreamer is shilled again. Highlights of Triple H vs. HHH is next. They put over the “Rock” concert for tonight’s RAW as they go to commercial. Lugz Boot of the Week Booker T saves Goldust from a beating at the hands of HHH and Flair. RAW Recap: Triple H vs. Goldust I didn’t see RAW, so I can’t really comment on this one. After the RAW recap they showed a short audio of Goldust on Howard Stern. MOLLY VS JACQUELINE? AGAIN?!?!??? THIS MATCH JUST HAPPENED LAST WEEK GOD DAMN IT! The Wrestlemania/Limp Bizkit promo is aired before going to commercial. They shill Wrestlemania 3rd Degree as Jacqueline comes out. OMG, THIS TIME THIS IS A NO DQ MATCH! Match Three: No Disqualification: Jacqueline vs. Molly Part 982734982743 Tie-up to start, arm wringer by Molly, reversed by Jackie. Jackie shoves Molly down, and cradles her for two. Tie-up again, side headlock by Molly. Jackie shoves out, but gets hit with a shoulder block. Jackie gets right up and hits three arm drags in a row on Molly, followed by a drop toehold. Molly rolls out of the ring claiming she injured her hand. Of course, she’s faking, and blind sides Jackie, slamming her into the steel steps, and into the ring. Molly tosses Jackie into the ring, and hits a nice snap suplex for two. Molly stomps away on Jackie, and rakes Jackie’s face, followed by a rear chinlock, uhh, I think. Jackie elbows out, and hits a crossbody coming off the ropes for two. Molly fights right back with a clothesline for two, followed by a nice neckbreaker for two. Right back to that rake to the face by Molly. Molly chokes Jackie with the ropes, and Molly breaks at 4. Jackie gets whipped into the corner, but Molly gets hit with an elbow. Jackie takes Molly down with some rights and a dropkick. Molly gets whipped into the ropes, and gets hit with a spinning back elbow for two. Three kicks to the midsection by Jackie, and she sets up for the Tornado DDT. Molly shoves out of it, and Jackie does a forward roll for no reason. I thought she was going for a Monkey flip, but instead, opts for the TEN PUNCHES OF DOOM! Jacqueline hits an enziguri for two. Tornado DDT by Jacqueline for the win. * The main event is shilled again as is The Rock on last week’s RAW. RAW Recap: The Rock lays out Austin on RAW Hopefully The Rock picks up the win this time around at Wrestlemania. The main event is shilled again before commercials. Main Event: 3 Minute Warning (w/ Rico) vs. Tommy Dreamer and Spike Dudley This should be pretty mediocre. Rosey and Tommy Dreamer start this one off with a tie-up, headlock by Dreamer. Rosey powers out and hits a shoulder block. Clubs to the neck by Rosey. Dreamer tries for a sunset flip, but can’t pull Rosey down. Rosey goes for an ass splash but Dreamer moves. Dropkick by Dreamer for two and Spike is tagged in. Jamal wants in. He taunts Spike and they tie up. Jamal shoves Spike off. Spike jumps on Jamal’s bike and punches him, but Jamal tosses him off. Jamal misses a knee drop and gets dropkicked into the corner to set up the OMG I’M GONNA RUN ON YOUR CHEST move by Spike Dudley. Spike beats his chest like The Ultimate Warrior and tries to rip his shirt off a la Hulk Hogan, but can’t so he just takes it off. Ewwww.... Clothesline by Jamal, and he punches Dreamer off of the apron. Military Press by Jamal, but Dreamer breaks it up. Whip by Jamal, Rico pulls down the middle rope and Spike falls through to the outside. The crowd is all over Rico. Jamal goes to work with rights and lefts in the corner followed by a RUNNING ASS SPLASH. Rosey is tagged in and stomps away at Spike. Scoop Slam by Rosey followed by some rights and Jamal is tagged back in. Double chop from 3 Minute Warning followed by a Scoop Slam from Jamal. JAmal taunts and hits a knee drop on Spike, but the count is broken up by Dreamer. Jamal tosses Spike to the outside, but Spike manages to tag Dreamer in. Clothesline to Jamal, neckbreaker to Rosey, Scoop Slam to Jamal. Rosey charges at Dreamer but Dreamer pulls down the top rope and Rosey goes flying to the outside. Dreamer Press Slams Spike onto 3MW on the outside but they catch him. Dropkick by Dreamer taking them down. Dudley Dog in the ring by Spike, but Jamal hits the big Samoan Drop before Spike could make a cover. Dreamer takes Jamal down with a DDT, but Rosey hits the Side Effect on Dreamer, followed by a splash off the top by Jamal for the win. * Overall Same old shit as always. Two squashes, ANOTHER Molly vs. Jacqueline match and a typical tag match as the main event. Whatever... Peter "FakeRazor" Ramoncolor> As always, you can reach me here. whacked Out wrestling http://www.thesmartmarks.com/forums/index.php?act=SF&f=48'>Archives Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
