Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2003 Card for the Night! THE INSIGNIFICANT MAIN EVENT Big Gold Belt Champion Vince Russo takes on Nord the Barbarian TWO SUPERSTARS, ONE RING: Hollywood movie star Randy Savage takes on rowdy Texan Bradshaw A MATCH SEVEN YEARS IN THE MAKING: Diesel takes on Vince McMahon FOR THE WWW TITLE: Triple H defends against Kamala. Finally, the issue of 'white v. black' will be settled! FOR THE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Hussein Credible and his new partner Viscera, defend the tag team titles against The American Zionists (Jim Duggan and Barry Horowitz) [MATCH MAY BE MOVED TO WWW HEAT] [ABDULLAH BIN CAMEL JOCKEY RUMORED TO BE DEAD, OR JUST SICK] IN A BARNBURNER: Big Show and A-Train face Undertaker and Nathan Jones IN THE 'LEG UP, CRUTCH ON A WIRE' LADDER MATCH: Sid Vicious takes on Tenacious Z Brakkus (with tag team partner The Wall) takes on the men who ruined his career, Dr. Tom Pritchard and Savio Vega FOR THE WWW SHOOT TITLE, IN THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER: Al Wilson defends against Marc Mero, Torrie Wilson and Sable Pogo the Clown and Mr. Pogo fight Three Minute Warning and some other stuff! ------------------------- Card- We start off on WWW Sleet, with the tag team title match.. The Unusual Duo of Duggan and Horowitz train and stuff Jim Duggan and Barry Horowitz defeated Viscera and Hussein Credible when Horowitz pinned Credible with the Horowitz Roll-Up in 0:12:05. Rating: -** 1/4 (Jim Duggan and Barry Horowitz won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) but WAIT! that wasn't Hussein Credible.. it was a BODY DOUBLE! So a rematch ensues Viscera and Hussein Credible defeated Barry Horowitz and Jim Duggan when Viscera pinned Horowitz after a Frankensteiner in 0:00:27. Barry Horowitz suffered a concussion, he will be out for 5 cards. Rating: * (Viscera and Hussein Credible won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) TIME FOR WWWWRESTLEMANIA! and our National Anthem is sung by recording artist Wesley Willis. The fans just didn't get into his swearing keyboard-aided performance, but they did dig that he doesn't like Saddam Hussein. Sal E. manages to get under the weight-limit of 225 for this match.. nah, he doesn't, but does it matter? Sal E. Graziano pinned Shark Boy with the Running Sitdown Splash in 0:02:53. Rating: -1/2* (Sal E. Graziano retains the WWW Cruiserweight title) Mr. Pogo and Pogo the Clown defeated Three-Minute Warning when Pogo pinned Jamal with the Buried In The Basement in 0:06:18. Rating: DUD Viva Samoa (Rikishi, Samoa Joe and Meng) defeated The FBI (Nunzio, Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli) when Joe pinned Nunzio with the Island Driver in 0:04:26. Rating: DUD The Samoans celebrate, but then Three-Minute Warning comes out. Shouts are exchanged as a Samoa v. American Samoa feud begins with Meng as the man in the middle! Meanwhile, Mark Mero is nowhere to be found. Al Wilson exercises his rights and brings in the Godfather, who is much more heelish. Godfather slaps his hoes around (one looks like Sunny) and then smokes crack. Sable pretends that people care who she is. Four Corners Match: Al Wilson defeated Torrie Wilson, Sable and The Godfather when Wilson pinned Godfather after hitting him with a foreign object in 0:08:27. Rating: -**** 1/4 (Johnny B. Badd no-showed.) Brakkus does stuff, nobody cares. Triple H is here! The Wall and Brakkus defeated Tom Prichard and Savio Vega when Brakkus pinned Vega with the Power Bomb in 0:03:55. Rating: -* Marc Mero returns to the building to reveal that Al Wilson suckered him into a bad real estate deal, bankrupting them. But, the Godfather decides to help them by making them both his employees. Mero will come in as the gay manwhore and Sable will be the crackwhore. Godfather gets Sable started on her first crackpipe. Sid rambles quite a bit. Ladder Match: Sid Vicious defeated Tenacious Z in 0:10:00. Rating: -1/4* After the match, Dory Funk Jr. runs in, puts Z in the Spinning Toe Hold and then Dory's newest find, XPW Angel comes out to give Z the reaming of a lifetime. Nathan Jones is attacked by the New FBI (the full-blooded Iranians, or as they're called by the cops, dumbass fans) No-Countout-No-DQ-Two-out-of-three-Falls Match: The Undertaker and Nathan Jones beat Big Show and The A-Train 2 falls to 1: x Show beat N. Jones via the Choke Slam in 0:06:03 x N. Jones beat A-Train via the Choke Slam in 0:12:01 x Undertaker beat A-Train via a Gorilla Press in 0:29:09 Rating: 1/2* 11-0! Booker T and Rob Van Dam make a challenge to anybody. Handicap-Match: Bill Goldberg defeated Booker T and Rob Van Dam when Goldberg pinned Van Dam with the Jackhammer in 0:00:59. Rating: 3/4* Who's next? meanwhile, Matt and John make their tag team debut. Kurrgan and Konnan defeated Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan when Konnan made J. Hennigan submit to the torture rack in 0:07:10. Rating: -* 1/2 After the match, Dreamer attacks both of the rookies for no reason. HHH talks some more Triple H pinned Kamala with the Pedigree in 0:02:14. Rating: -1/2* (Triple H retained the WWW Title.) Diesel pinned Vince McMahon with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:11:32. Rating: -** 3/4 [During the match, Roddy Piper made a mistaken run-in. Hilarity ensued] Randy Savage pinned Bradshaw after a flying axhandle in 0:02:30. Rating: * 1/4 For some reason, Nord never showed, but Bob Sapp did show up (for some reason) Vince Russo pinned Bob Sapp after a small package in 0:03:59. Rating: -1/2* (Vince Russo retained the Big Gold Belt.) --- It's over.. what will the next card be? Wait and see! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
