If you ruled your own planet...

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Okay...

 

If you ruled your own planet.....

 

what would the name of the planet be?

 

what would your first decree be to your people?

 

 

 

 

What kind of ruler would you be and would you have some wierd kind of official name?

[Guest chirs3]

I'd probably keep the name Earth, just cause anything else I think up sounds stupid.

 

I would rule the people with fairness, kindness, and tolerance... except those who I personally deem stupid. They'd get shards of Linkin Park CD's jammed into their eyes.

 

(For the record, there would be no Linkin Park on my planet. I just like shattering their CD's for constructive purposes).

 

My first decree... a car in every garage, and an endless supply of ice-cold Dr. Pepper in every home.

[Guest The Camel]

Planet Camel, of course.

 

I think that I would impose a very stringent test for potential immigrants to my planet. An IQ of at least 120 (need janitors) for all of those attempting to even apply. Side not: Girls with big breasts can easily circumvent the application process, they just need to be quickly "reviewed" by the governer/king/baddest mofo on Planet Camel... Jimmy Kimmel. Or me. Make that just me. Gasoline and oil would both be renewable resources, not to mention non-pollutants. Work of anysort will be outlawed, unless of course it involves drinking & automobiles. Dancing will be severely restricted, only to be performed by professionals for the amount of $10 per song. No amateurs. Unless of course that is your thing. So basically, my planet would be the stereotypical man's man planet, complete with nude likenesses of Jenny McCarthy as collums for the Camel Memorial (to be patterned after the Lincoln Memorial). Since I can't think of anything else original, I will end this thought and put it where all other misguided machismo/testosterone driven thoughts go... In a lockbox.

 

Oh yeah, all sections in all resturants will be smoking. If you can't take it, don't come to my planet. Unless, as noted, you have big boobs.

[Guest Choken One]

I would Gladly sell it to Exxon Oil for 255.1 Trillion dollars...

[Guest Space_Cowboy]

If i ruled my own planet it'd be just like Earth is now, except everything would be at a reasonable price like DVD's for $20.00 and computers for $10.00. Also, everyone would get food as I would send food mobiles to give food to people sort of like the milk man but the food man.

[Guest SP-1]

I would call it TROGDORIA.

 

And my people would be in constant fear of TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR, who would be at my mythological command.

 

(And Strong Bad would be my Vice-King)

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

If i ruled my own planet it'd be just like Earth is now, except everything would be at a reasonable price like DVD's for $20.00 and computers for $10.00. Also, everyone would get food as I would send food mobiles to give food to people sort of like the milk man but the food man.

I expected THIS response to take a bit longer to be made

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I would be the Pharoah of Oblivion.

 

My people would look upon my works and despair, as I sat atop a throne of ivory and gold, eating fresh fruit and rare meats served to me by buxom lasses of virtue true, some of which fan me with large feathers, others play the harp and mandolin. I clap my hands and four and twenty midgets come and dance for my, and my guests' amusement. A steam bath follows, and then a stroll to the balcony, watching my people toil under my iron fist.

[Guest Sturgis]

It'll be just like earth and I'd fuck hot bitches, kill, and smoke weed all day.

[Guest WhenDanSaysJump]

Planet Dan.

 

I'd be the perfect ruler without even trying. Conveniently, there'd be no disease or inequality of any kind and everyone would get along just fine, sort of like Lionel Hutz's vision of a lawyer-free world.

 

And hopefully I would get much pie.

[Guest Ravenbomb]

Jolly Sunshine Happy World.

 

It would be like earth, only more technologically advanced and I would be dictator for life, which would be forever since we will have discovered how to make people immortal, and it will be reserved for me and whoever I want (the only people on the board I will make immortal are Slingshot Suplex and Lethargic)

[Guest Vitamin X]

I would be the Pharoah of Oblivion.

 

My people would look upon my works and despair, as I sat atop a throne of ivory and gold, eating fresh fruit and rare meats served to me by buxom lasses of virtue true, some of which fan me with large feathers, others play the harp and mandolin. I clap my hands and four and twenty midgets come and dance for my, and my guests' amusement. A steam bath follows, and then a stroll to the balcony, watching my people toil under my iron fist.

.....

 

......SADDAM?!?!?!?!

[Guest snuffbox]

It'll be just like earth and I'd fuck hot bitches, kill, and smoke weed all day.

fun times

[Guest phoenixrising]

I suppose I'd just leave the name as Earth.

 

I'd have the title President, but I'd have the presidential salute changed to the salute in Spaceballs. "President Scroob, SALUTE!" "HAIL SCROOB!"

 

Strip clubs would be accepted and considered a respectable place to spend evenings. Prostitution would be legal. STD's would be eliminated.

 

All citizens of my world would be allowed to carry firearms for self-defense.

 

Military service would be volunteer. I think the latest war in Iraq has shown just how good an all-volunteer army is.

 

As the President ruler I would of course get a nice mansion and several beautiful women. Of course all of the hottest would find an invitation to meet the President in their mailbox very often. Very, very often.

[Guest El Satanico]

You can't name it earth! The name earth is already taken you silly gooses.

 

 

I would name my planet...Petopia

 

I will hold the title of supreme overlord. Everyone answers to the white collar criminals I've put in charge of each country, who in turn answer to me.

 

Religion is allowed, but only behind closed doors. Public displays of Religion is outlawed. Other than Religion free speech is allowed and is strictly enforced.

 

There will be no morale police. People being allowed to participate in anything not involving murder, assault or sexual assault is a strictly enforced policy.

 

I will designate one country as the workers country where all of my industries will manufacture their goods. This country exports products to all the other countries. Since this country will mainly consist of poor industrial areas filled with toxic air there's a good chance for revolution, so there's a highly trained police force that keeps the workers from rebelling and halting production.

 

Two countries will share the food production industries. The police forces here are smaller and not as trained. There's vast amounts of farmland, workers make more money with lower taxes and farm workers are happier than the factory workers, so there's nearly no risk of rebellian.

 

One country shall be where me, my family, my friends and my colleages will call home.

 

The rest of the countries will consist of the wealthy, artists, scientists, doctors, and my government officials.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I would be the Pharoah of Oblivion.

 

My people would look upon my works and despair, as I sat atop a throne of ivory and gold, eating fresh fruit and rare meats served to me by buxom lasses of virtue true, some of which fan me with large feathers, others play the harp and mandolin. I clap my hands and four and twenty midgets come and dance for my, and my guests' amusement. A steam bath follows, and then a stroll to the balcony, watching my people toil under my iron fist.

.....

 

......SADDAM?!?!?!?!

They're all toiling willfully. I am their god-king. PHAROAH, motherfucker.

 

Don't mess.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

My place would be Middle Earth, like regular earth but better!

 

It would be law for busty and attractive girls between the ages of 20 and 15 to wear catholic schoolgirl uniforms at all times.

 

Men would need to wear either a "Whoomp! There it is!" shirt at least once a week.

 

My headquarters would be located on my own private island. It would be overun by hoardes of chimpanzees, hippos and naked mole rats.