181 RPG Cliche's

[Guest chirs3]

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

 

Good for a laugh, I thought.

[moral suasion 0]

Good stuff. A great read.

 

I agree, most if it is very correct.

 

It's funny to think just how cliched the RPG genre is.

[Rendclaw 0]

let's face it, there are few RPGs we play for the storyline.

 

Its the game engine, graphics, combat, or just maxing out our characters before we finish it.

[Guest Renegade]

let's face it, there are few RPGs we play for the storyline.

 

Its the game engine, graphics, combat, or just maxing out our characters before we finish it.

I only play RPG's for the storyline.

 

Going through a million random battles only to be motivated by a crummy storyline does not sound like my idea of fun.

 

The only games that do not fall into that are Zelda and Kingdom hearts, but then again they arent pure RPG's to start with.

[Guest Will Scarlet]

I also play RPG's for storyline. The thought of facing hundreds of random battles never excites me, especially when the random battles are often harder than facing most of the bosses in the game. If the game fails to get to the point quickly, instead preferring to focus on random battles, I often lose interest quickly. About the only rpg I did not play for storyline was Thousand Arms, which I found to be a fun parody of RPG's, and had some good comedy in it. Plus, it was always fun to hear FF7 fan boys cry about it because it was not the next FF7, too much like FF7, not enough like FF7, or whatever excuse they used for hating the game.

 

This list seems pretty accurate. Unless I missed it, they seemed to forget two of my favourites:

 

1) Regular villagers can go through a dangerous forest without any problems, but, when you do it, you face tons of hard random enemies.

 

2) There will always be a random enemy called a golem at some point in the game. I have never ran into an RPG that did not have a golem at some point.

 

Either way, hilarious stuff.

[Guest chirs3]

I've heard some good things about Thousand Arms... what system is it before, PS1?

[Guest Renegade]

Yup, PS1

[Guest Lightning Flik]

I've heard some good things about Thousand Arms... what system is it before, PS1?

Ah... The illustrious date sim RPG. Depending on whom you date and have a relationship with, will alter/improve your crafting.

 

And some of those dates were fucking weird. I mean, I told a girl off, as I seemingly could never get her relationship with me improved, and it improved our relationship quite well. Then there was the whole fart incident that was just "...", but meh. I digress. Not the greatest game by any stretch but if you wanna play something that's querky, it be the one for you.

 

I enjoyed it. I'll at least give it that much.

 

But to be on topic, every story told is cliched and really there is only truly one story ever told. It's just how you create it, envision it, and craft it, that give it any semblance of difference.

[Guest eiker_ir]

1) Regular villagers can go through a dangerous forest without any problems, but, when you do it, you face tons of hard random enemies.

 

70.

Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)

As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Logan's Run Rule

RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.

 

Nail on the head right there.

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank

During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate what a badass he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.

 

Square doesn't even try to hide the real villain anymore. It's just a matter of time before he kills his boss.

[Guest Lightning Flik]

You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank

During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate what a badass he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.

 

Square doesn't even try to hide the real villain anymore. It's just a matter of time before he kills his boss.

Perfect example: Kuja. Aw wait, scratch that. He wasn't even the final boss.

 

Square hide the final boss? Like since WHEN?

 

I do think though that the most used cliche is that the final boss is never the final boss. Even when you think he is, he never truly is.

 

Lufia 2 would be the only exception, but the problem is you believe that Gades is the final boss. So meh. That kinda backfires.

[Guest HHH123007]

128. Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)

Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.

 

141. "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"

Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."

 

These two had me laughing out loud....

[Rendclaw 0]

141. "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"

Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."

 

Unless of course, you have the Americanized version of the game where she doesn;t return, and in the Japanese version she returns...

[Guest Sakura]

Aeris doesn't return in any version of Final Fantasy VII.

 

And the American version of FF VII is better than the Japanese one.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Aeris doesn't return in any version of Final Fantasy VII.

Unless you like having your game freeze and crash by way of a Gameshark...

[Rendclaw 0]

That's weird, Sakura... one of the walkthroughs I have said that she comes back in the japanese version... oh well... there goes that theory....

 

I do find it a touch difficult to believe that the english version is better than the japanese version, but I will take your word for it.

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

That's weird, Sakura... one of the walkthroughs I have said that she comes back in the japanese version... oh well... there goes that theory....

 

I do find it a touch difficult to believe that the english version is better than the japanese version, but I will take your word for it.

Why? The Japanese version is made first, by the time they translate it to English they have time to add some stuff in.

[Guest Sakura]

Yeah, the English version comes AFTER the Japanese one.

 

It would make NO sense at all to have something as huge as Aeris returning from the dead in one version and not the other. Have you actually played through FF VII? The last 25% of the story, with Holy, and in the end the lifestream, wouldn't be possible or at the very least be extremely altered had Aeris been revived.

 

 

In FF VII's case Square took the time to add new things to the American version during translation. Ruby Weapon and Emerald Weapon being the biggest two. A second version of FF VII(called FF VII: International) was released in Japan and included the stuff we got in the US version.

 

 

Another example of a game being better in the US is Metal Gear Solid. Our version had difficulty levels and the tuxedo, which was not in the original Japanese release.

[Guest AndrewTS]

Magical Inequality Theorem

In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unneccessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.

Magical Inequality Corollary

When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.

 

So true.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Magical Inequality Corollary Addendum:

 

When used against enemies, Petrify and Death are one and the same.