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Guest Anglesault

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 4/17/03

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Guest Anglesault

HeldDOWN for April 17, 2003

helddown.jpg

 

(In the back of the arena, where trucks arrive and depart, it is quiet, save for the low hum of the crowd heard in the arena. A thumping bass is heard getting louder and louder, and suddenly a forklift with a license plate reading “SPRTLFT” whizzes past. Okay, it doesn’t really whiz past, it kinda rolls past, but it suddenly accelerates and skids around so it stops facing the opposite direction. The camera moves closer to see the people on the forklift, which is on 22-inch spoke DUBS~! and has several large speakers taped to its exterior, all connected to a single portable CD player. The forklift has been painted black, neon green, florescent red, and aqua blue. The Boogie Knights reveal themselves as the drivers and dismount the forklift. The crowd pops.)

 

Max Zorin: Man oh MAN, we just BARELY got here on time! Damn hangovers!

 

Kotzenjunge: You didn’t have any faith in THE SPIRIT LIFTER~! to bring us here on time?

 

Zorin: Well, people were looking at us funny on the highway...

 

Kotzenjunge: Hey, we beat that riced-out Civic that tried to step to us, right?

 

Zorin: I guess... I was too busy HAVING A HEADACHE!!! ARGH!! EVERYONE STOP BLINKING SO LOUD!!

 

(Shattered Dreams dances around the still murky-minded Zorin.)

 

Shattered Dreams: I neeeeeeeeeeever get hangovers! Hee hee hee!

 

Kotzenjunge: And my hangover’s juuuuuuuuuuuuust right!

 

(the music on the forklift stops and both of the other Knights stare at Kotzenjunge)

 

Kotzenjunge: Okay, I thought it was funny. Look fellas, we gotta talk strategy for tonight.

 

SD: We don’t have the night off?

 

Kotzenjunge: Nope.

 

Zorin: DAMN! I KNEW I’d need this...

 

(Zorin takes a swig from a flask)

 

Kotzenjunge: I’ve got my match with Anglesault planned out already. All I have to do is talk shit about Gerio-smith and piss him off. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just kick him in the nuts.

 

SD: He has nuts?

 

Kotzenjunge: I dunno, I just figured that since he was a Kurt Angle clone and you can ALWAYS see Kurt’s package in his matches, Anglesault had one too.

 

(Zorin groans and holds his head)

 

Zorin: I REALLY don’t want to have to deal with Superstar tonight...

 

SD: Tough, man. If both of us have a match tonight, YOU do too. No idea how I’ll beat Brock though.

 

Zorin: Just grab his foot when he goes to kick you for his finisher. Then you will OWN him.

 

SD: Didn’t someone give Vince McMahon similar advice about another Austin?

 

Zorin: Sure did.

 

SD: Did it work?

 

Zorin: Umm... I don’t know, I was already tripping on something by the time their match came on. I think Austin pinned a unicorn or something for the win.

 

Kotzenjunge: I thought it was a griffin?

 

Zorin: No, it was a unicorn.

 

Kotzenjunge: GRIFFIN!

 

Zorin: UNICORN!

 

Kotzenjunge: GRIFFIN!

 

Off-camera voice: You’re both wrong, it was a winged three-toed sloth.

 

(Zack Malibu appears on-screen, and the crowd cheers)

 

SD: You serious about that?

 

Zack: Of course not, you buncha crackheads. I just wanted to drop by and thank you guys for your help last week, I might not have been in shape to defend the title against SpiderPoet on IntenseZone and forefit.

 

SD: Ewwwwwww... you actually had to go over to that show?

 

Zack: It’s a dirty, thankless job, but champions have to do it, you know?

 

Kotzenjunge: Your ass still intact?

 

Zack: Yes, I made sure to wear special ass-shielding boxers.

 

Zorin: Good. It’d look silly if you made a “hoot” noise every time you took a step.

 

Zack: But now I’m back on the REAL show, HeldDOWN~! And I gotta go get ready for my match later, I just wanted to drop by and say thanks.

 

(Zack walks off after patting SD on the arm)

 

SD: He... touched me!!!

 

(SD faints)

 

Kotzenjunge: Aw crap, come on Dreams! We had to revive you once today already when that hottie asked you what time it was!

 

(Zorin and Kotzenjunge kneel down and try to get Dreams conscious again)

 

*BOOM*

 

"Hold Me Down" by Tommy Lee plays over the intro video, which includes highlites of AS, Zack, Superstar, K-Money, The Purist, Boogie Knights, Dream Machines and many more.

 

The camera pans over the packed crowd, waving signs like "Superstar, make ME~! UnStable!," "Zack made AS' 'Dream On' a NIGHTMARE~!" and "Money laughs all the way to the bank!" We head to our announcers at ringside...

coleandcoachman.jpg

 

Cole: Hello everyone and welcome to HeldDOWN! I'm Michael Cole alongside the Coach, and we have one hell of a show for you tonight!

Coach: Anglesault looks for revenge on Kotzenjunge!

Cole: World Champion Zack Malibu teams with Crystal and K-Money to face off against Tag Champs Los Infernales and the devious Black Widow!

Coach: Superstar takes on Zorin and MORE!

Cole: But first...

 

"Sexy Boy" hits and the crowd looks at each other confused…. Then Some Guy bursts through the curtains and the crowd goes crazy!

 

SG dances his way to the ring wearing his Red Sox cap and an old aWo shirt, he slides in the ring kips up, does a Shawn Michaels-like pose and soaks up the adulation of the crowd.

 

SG gets the mic and quiets the crowd.

 

 

QUOTE

So, did ya miss me?

 

 

 

Crowd pops huge!

 

 

QUOTE

Well, some of you might be wondering where I've been, why I left and whether of not I'm going to stay.

 

 

 

Crowd cheers.

 

 

QUOTE

First things first, being back here in the OAOAST brings back a lot of great memories. CWM and I winning the Tag Belts, joining the aWo, and how much fun I had being one of the original members of the roster. I was around before there were TV shows, I was around before we had PPVs, I was around before we had drawn out storylines, and I was around before we had bookers. Shit, I was around before tow of the bookers ever even joined the damn Fed.

 

 

 

Crowd cheers.

 

 

QUOTE

So that brings me to the questions I mentioned earlier. You wonder where I've been? I've just been off in the real world dealing with life and not having the OAOAST to relieve my stress, to give me that little trip to another world where I'm a hero and not just another guy trying to get by. This was my avenue to vent my frustrations caused by the real world, my avenue to show my creativity, and my avenue to Some Kick the shit out of anyone who got in my way

 

 

 

Crowd pops.

 

 

QUOTE

Not that brings me to why I left. At the beginning we all just fucked around and had fun, then we started doing PPVs and TV shows. That was cool by me, I figured I'd get to help out with ideas and still have control over what my character would be doing. I was dead wrong. Instead of fun and creative input we got "Mr. I saved TSM" Big Poppa Popick and Tony "The Body". The place ran pretty smoothly and it was still fun for a while but it had lost that special luster it once had, it became pre-cooked it became boring. I didn’t have any idea what I would be doing on any given show because no one bothered to ask me, my character was as big a mystery to me as it was to all off you. It got to the point where I just didn't give a shit anymore. There was no fun in showing up and not even know what the fuck I was doing or why the fuck I was doing it. It just sucked.

 

I know what you're all thinking, "he didn't like what was going on and he lost his smile and walked out without trying to rectify the situation." You're wrong.

I voiced my complaints in the forum and got ignored by the 'Powers That Be" but I did get a PM from then OAOAST World Champion Caboose. The World Champ PM'ed me and said that he agreed that this shit just wasn't the same and it was losing its luster. So we tried to do something about it. We started tossing ideas back and forth and came up with a pretty damn good idea. We wanted to spice things up a little bit and decided that with the OAOAST dying and the aWo in shambles it was time to get the band back together. Anglesault, CWM, Angle-Plex, Caboose, and me all kicking ass and taking names again. We had it all planned out and left some of it open to change so it would fit into the TV and PPV plans. It turns out that we left a little too much open to revison because Tony didn't want to have his character beat up because "he wasn't a wrestler" or some such shit. I finally got him to capitulate and take the beating but he sent mw this….

QUOTE

Nov. PPV, Breakdown: Tony "The Body" comes out of retirement to team with BPP vs. two aWo guys (We'll figure out who later). We win, but the feud continues.

 

Dec. PPV, Battered, Bloody & Beaten: 6 man tag. BPP, Zack & Evenflow vs. 3 aWo members (Caboose, CWM & SG). We do the Sting/Nikita Koloff 1992 angle. Can the I.C. trust BPP? I could wrestle AS. I win, but BPP, Zack & 'Flow lose. Setting up the big blow off match at.....

 

Jan. PPV, Wrestle War: War Games; The blow off happens. The aWo (AS, Caboose, CWM & SG) vs. "The Body", BPP, the In Crowd. We win, aWo has to split up.

 

What about it?

 

 

"What about it? What about it!?!

 

It's a total piece of shit that's "what about it".

 

So some former wrestler and current announcer is supposed to win three straight PPV matches and the aWo gets no victory? What a load of shit that was. How the fuck is any one going to care about the reformed aWo if we never win a fucking match? It makes no sense.

 

Now, onto Big Poppa Poppick. Here's a hint buddy, you saved TSM, WE FUCKING GET IT ALREADY!!!!!!!

 

Keep in mind that Caboose and I had contacted all the aWo members and they all liked the angle and the angle was going to end up with the aWo losing in War Games, the members universally approved it and we were going to lose in the end. Short term: Self-serving. Long Term: Good for the show. It also called for AP to be treated slightly better than BPP's whipping boy at booking meetings.

 

At the time there were two weekly shows, CWM was the head of one and BPP was the Commissioner of the other. Part of the angle was that the aWo would "take over" the Fed. We were to win every title and take control of both shows, but…. Wait for it, wait for it, BPP DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE UP HIS COMMISHENERSHIP! What the fuck? It's an E-Fed and he would've been giving up his on-air role as commish, not any of his behind the scenes power. Unless he saw that our angle was better than anything he has or ever will do in OAOAST and got jealous there is no other explanation for his refusal to play ball than he is a total mark for himself.

 

Tony was at least willing to compromise. BPP was obstinate. He wouldn't go along with the angle as planned and he fucked it up. BPP caused me to leave the OAOAST, he caused Caboose to leave, and he caused the founder of the fucking thread, CWM to leave his creation. He refused to give back and allow the members to control their destiny, he refused to give up any creative control, and he refused to lose a fictitious figurehead commissionership for the good of what would be the main storyline for several months. Ya know what the kicker is? HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN HIS COVETED ROLE BACK AFTER WE LOST AT WAR GAMES. But he refused to play ball and that started the exodus. He, Big Poppa Popick killed the aWo, he killed my, Caboose's, and CWM's love for this and he is killing the OAOAST. Brother, you may have "saved TSM" but now you're killing the best part of it.

 

 

 

Crowd is in shock.

 

 

QUOTE

And to answer the last question, "am I going to stay?"

 

All I can say is, "stay tuned." BPP, you killed my favorite past time and I just might come back and kill you.

 

Do I make myself clear?

 

 

 

Crowd Pops huge.

 

As far as IntenseZone goes, who the fuck are you guys? Really, who are you? I look through your roster and I see a bunch of jabrones and headed up by some clog dancer. What the fuck is that all about? Heldown has the the real deal, the real face of the OAOAST. The first ever champ is here, the SuperStar is here, Angle-Plex is here, Tim is here, and Zack's here. These are the men who've been here from the start. Who does IntenseZone have? The Mad Cappa? What in the living hell is The Mad Cappa? Oh but they have the maestro, pulling all the strings and keeping everyone down. Suppressing creativity and putting his interests over the future of the company. Do you IZ guys even know what he is all about? He'll lie to your face and then swing dance all over your career. Well BPP keeep on "swinging" 'cause if I run into you I damn sure will be. You'll be swallowing a size 13 SomeKick. All you IZ pussies can kiss my Heldown ass!

 

"Sexy Boy" hits and SG poses for the crowd as the screen fades to black.

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Guest Anglesault

Stars and Stripes...Er Sticks Forever.

 

“Slave to the Rhythm” hits and the crowd goes crazy as Zorin, Shattered Dreams, and Kotzenjunge walk out, or more appropriately, dance out, doing their glowstick routine.

 

KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE~!

 

“Attitude Adjustment” by Aerosmith plays and The Superstar marches out, with Un-Stablemates Brock Ausstin and Anglesault in tow. He slides into the ring and immediately takes Zorin down as the bell is sounded.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Superstar starts out by punching Zorin in a flurry, but Zorin kicks him away and reaches to his feet, before taking Superstar down with a clothesline. He immediately picks him up into the air and sends him crashing down with a back suplex.

 

Superstar begs off, but Zorin has none of it, and he begins stomping SS in the corner. Zorin executes a cross-corner-whip, and SS hits the turnbuckle sternum first. As he comes towards Zorin backwards, Zorin dropkicks him in the back, and Superstar falls face-first onto the mat.

 

Zorin goes up top for the moonsault, but as he comes down, SS moves and Zorin hits nothing but mat. Superstar capitalizes on this opportunity and plants Zorin with a DDT. Zorin staggers to his feet, and SS gives him a vicious release German suplex. Cover: 1…2…NO~! Superstar scales the ropes, and comes off at a standing Zorin with a double axe, but Zorin stops it with a gut shot, sets him up, and nails him with an EXPLODER SUPLEX! Cover: 1…2…Anglesault puts Superstar’s foot on the rope! Kotzenjunge runs over to where Sault is, and the two men who will fighter later on begin brawling!

 

Inside the ring, Zorin ducks a SS clothesline, traps his head between his legs, and…FLAWLESS BOMB~!! Pin, but the referee is busy trying to separate Kotzenjunge and Anglesault! Taking advantage of the distraction, Brock Ausstin comes into the ring, turns Zorin around…

 

F-STUNNER-5~!!!! Brock rolls Superstar on top of Zorin, as the referee comes back into position to count the pin!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE~!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: The Superstar (via an F-Stunner-5)

 

The Un-Stable quickly exit the ring and hightail it backstage, saving the Kotz/AS confrontation for later tonight.

 

Cole: The Un-Stable steals one!

Coach: But what will happen when AS faces Kotz later tonight?

 

(The Angletron fashes on)

 

 

Our scene opens on the exterior of a Blockbuster Video, the parking lot proudly displaying a few cars, all of them sports cars because, really, what pickup driver goes to Blockbuster Video? Moving on, however, a car speeds into our view, a blue car with a large "PEPSI" symbol on the side and the back window so covered with bumper stickers it's almost impossible to get a look through it.

 

The car speeds to a halt in the handicapped parking spot, and two doors open - and out steps Calvin Szechstein and Terry Simmons, who is nattily decked out in an Armani suit and has a gleaming golden Rolex on either hand! The fans in the arena, watching this over the hDTron, boo slightly as Szechstein begins to speak.

 

"Terry, I gotta tell you, baby, this Blockbuster Video sponsorship thing was a great idea."

 

"I aim to please, boss."

 

"...you know, I think you need to work on your sentence abilities. Anyway, come on, let's go see if these guys will give us the green."

 

Szechstein walks up to the door, opening it and allowing Simmons to step through. Seeing a middle-aged woman getting out of her car, Calvin grins to himself, keeping the door held open. The woman, seeing Szechstein holding the door open, jogs to it and says, "Thanks."

 

"No problem, madam," Calvin says. "Now, could I interest you in some Pepsi?"

 

The woman stops to look at him. "I drink Coke, sir."

 

She turns and walks away. Szechstein shrugs, walking into the store and seeing Simmons poking through the action section. "What's with all these Coke drinkers?" Calvin asks.

 

"Coke is Satan," Simmons says, "and they are his disciples."

 

Szechstein just stares at Simmons for a few seconds. "...your mic skills are really improving, Terry."

 

"Thank you."

 

The action aisle finishes and turns into the wrestling aisle as Simmons' interest suddenly increases, as he grabs Wrestlemania X and Royal Rumble '92 off of the shelf.

 

"Good choice," pipes up a voice further down the aisle.

 

Both men turn to look at the other man, who as he looks at them appears to be Colvid! The crowd gives him a minor reaction as he continues to speak.

 

"Coliseum did a great job on those," he said, "although if you're a real fan I think you'd prefer one of the clipjobs they did, just for the jaw-dropping in between sequences."

 

"Coliseum, you say?" Calvin asks, eyebrow raised.

 

"Oh, yeah! When the WWE stopped using that name, the copyright for it became available, and so I went to court to..."

 

As Colvid continues his story, Calvin pulls Simmons down and whispers in his ear. "Do we have an official video supplier yet?"

 

"No." Simmons says aloud.

 

Colvid stares at Simmons for a second. "No, I really did have to go to Jamaica to pick up the Coliseum logo."

 

"Oh," Simmons says. "Carry on."

 

Colvid begins speaking again as Szechstein, looking a bit flustered, pulls down on Terry's collar once again. "You're supposed to whisper in my ear, you big dumbass. This ain't Movie Gallery, you know."

 

Simmons moves his head so that he's whispering in Calvin's ear. "I know, sir."

 

"Okay... so, do we have an official video supplier yet?"

 

"No sir."

 

Calvin grins. "Excellent," he whispers to Simmons. The two break their miniature huddle as Colvid finishes his story. Szechstein grins at Colvid with a lopsided smile on his face. "Colvid, what do you have to say to..."

 

Szechstein wraps one arm around Colvid, guiding him to the Pepsi car as Simmons follows behind, also smiling. He adjusts the belt on his bright orange pants and continues walking, right out the door.

 

(Commercial Break)

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Guest Anglesault

CONSPIRACY~! Well, maybe not...

 

AP is in the ring, he has a Microphone in his hand and he looks sickened by the heel reaction he’s getting.

 

Cole: “In recent weeks, AP has become somewhat of a complicated character. It appears he wants the fans to like him, but he’s being forced into situations where he looks like the most evil man alive.”

 

Coach: “Wow, it doesn’t take much to pull the wool over your eyes, huh Cole? It’s obvious that AP’s ego won’t let him be booed. So he creates a conspiracy around ZsasZ and expects us to believe it.”

 

AP: “Over the past few weeks you people seem to have forgotten something. I AM NOT THE BAD GUY! I had nothing to do with Gladiator’s interference in the HIAC match. I love you guys, there was nothing I loved more then when you guys accepted me after all I’d been through in the aWo. How can you do this to me? How can you…”

 

“I’m Back” by WWE Music hits and out comes TIM MOYSEY.

 

Tim: “AP, I’ve been gone a while, but it seems you’ve become what I always knew you’d be: a liar!”

 

AP: “You don’t understand! I love these people; there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them!”

 

Tim: “You know…I didn’t want to believe it was true AP, I didn’t want to believe you had sunken so low. But this is different. The aWo is DEAD. The old regimes are DEAD. They are never coming back. I had a talk with ZsasZ and he convinced me that he’s earned a…”

 

AP: “YOU FUCKING IDIOT! He’s a manipulator! That’s what he does! He’s pulling your strings!”

 

Tim: “So you’re telling me you’re a good guy, and yet you’re ducking a legit challenger? That’s it, at Living Angleously you WILL face ZsasZ. And I hope he kicks the ever-loving shit out of you!”

 

AP: “You don’t understand! Every time I face him…he makes me look bad! Again and again…” AP begins to ramble.

 

Tim: “Well, then I guess I need to see it myself. Tonight you can team with Purist against ZsasZ and Gladiator.”

 

AP: “Why would you team me with the nastiest heel on the…”

 

Tim: “Oh shut up and get ready.”

 

(More Angletrony Goodness)

 

We cut to a tight-shot of a door with a sign -- looking like it was made by a 1st grader -- reading: FIRST AID

 

The door opens and we see Jim Cornette, sitting in a wheelchair, in this so-called "First Aid" room, which looks like something just put up a couple of white sheets, surround by "doctors" who don't look a day over 18 years old, covered with obviously fake bandages and ivees.

 

The Purist: Good. I want the whole world to see what that barbarian (Gladiator) did to my manager last week.

 

Camera cuts to a wheelchair bound Jim Cornette, grimacing.

 

The Purist: Look at him! It pains me to see Jimmy like this. He didn't deserve that uncalled for beating. Despite what might have been shown on TV, all this goodwill ambassador did, was give the Gladiator the name of an excellent physical therapist. In no way shape or form, Jim or myself, provoked the Gladiator.

 

Jim: (off-screen; moaning in pain) Let me say something.

 

Purist: We had to pay good money to find the best doctors in the world.

 

Shot of the "doctors."

 

Purist: (CONT'D) Sure, they look young; thanks to botox. But I ensure you, these are the best.

 

Jim: (O.S.; still moaning in pain) Please, I gotta say something.

 

The Purist, along with the "doctors" wheel Jim outside the "First Aid" room.

 

Jim: Gladiator, because of your roid rage, I'm stuck in a wheelchair. I experience pain in many different arenas of my body. The doc's beleive I'll never be able to walk again.

 

Purist pretends to be crying.

 

Jim: (pats The Purist on the back) I know. I know. But punk, you should of accepted the name of that therapist, because not only am I going to sue you for everything you own, including your stinkin' toilet. But this man (points to the Purist) is gonna beat you like a wild savage.

 

The Purist begins to get fired up.

 

Jim: Which brings me to tonight. Tonight, somehow, we got stuck teaming with current X-title holder Angle-Plex -- Angle-Plex! The same guy who the former OAOAST champion, dumped because he couldn't get the job done. Now The Purist has to team with him to face ZsasZ and the Gladiator. No doubt, those two present a challenge...to AP! Not The Purist.

 

The Purist nods in the background.

 

Jim: In closing...when somebody puts their hands on me, they signed their death-wish. And Gladiator, you clearly wish to end your career. And pal, if you think you'll be able to beat The Purist one on one, you got other thing comin'. Now get out of our way.

 

Jim Cornette & The Purist shove the cameraman out of the way and leave the First Aid room.

 

Cole: That match is NEXT!

 

(Break)

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Guest Anglesault

Something Witty

 

 

“Song 2” by Blur hits and out comes Angle-Plex, Purist, and James E. Cornette. Cornette is fired up to say the least; screaming with fans and firing up Purist. AP looks sickened to be surrounded by the other two and more sickened by the huge heel heat he’s getting.

 

Cole: “AP and Purist look like the second-coming of the Midnight Express out there, and the fans aren’t cutting them any slack either.”

 

Coach: “But you have to wonder: is ZsasZ right? Has AP turned his back on the fans? Or is AP the victim of forces we aren’t aware of?”

 

Cole: “I’m sure AP would be able to explain his position a bit more clearly if he wasn’t so incensed about the fans’ reaction to him.”

 

“Paint it Black” by Rolling Stones hits, to a MONSTER POP. Instead of the usual entrance for ZsasZ, he comes out of the crowd with Gladiator. While Gladiator seems to be thrilled to be among the fans, ZsasZ looks like he’s holding back the urge to vomit. Because they suck, Cole and Coach miss this.

 

Gladiator and Purist start, and the crowd is WILD (Think NWA circa ’89 here). Purist attempts a hammerlock, but Gladiator uses a hiptoss to make him reconsider. Gladiator waits for him to get up and MUDERS him with a huge lariat. He picks him up and tosses him into the ropes…

 

Cole: “Look at this, a powerslam on the Purist! What great execution by Gladiator!”

 

Coach: “He goes for a quick cover: 1…2…NO! He tries another: 1…2…NO! It looks like Gladiator is trying to offset the Purist’s superior conditioning by wearing him out early and conserving energy.”

 

Purist gets up and sprints toward his corner; trying to get a tag. Gladiator gets him in a waistlock before he can get to the corner, but Purist reverses and hits a German Suplex. He again tries to steal a tag, but Gladiator dropkicks AP off the apron. Purist lays a knee in on Gladiator’s face and finally gets a tag in.

 

Coach: “AP is in! He hits the Lou Thesz Press! He throws him into the corner…”

 

Cole: “Gladiator gets his boot up just in time!”

 

Gladiator dives to his corner and tags in ZsasZ. ZsasZ smiles and slowly gets in, allowing his frame to intimidate AP before he does anything. This time AP isn’t intimidated, and he strikes with clubbing blows over the top of the head. AP begins to wrestle like a heel. He hits a couple chop-blocks and begins some leg-work by putting his knee across ZsasZ’s leg. He catches himself, and stops even though his strategy was working. ZsasZ kips up (to the shock of EVERYONE). He throws AP into the corner and lays some INSANE chops in on him. He Belly-To-Belly’s AP across the ring, and AP is dazed. He tags in Purist, and Cornette SCREAMS at him to get something going.

 

Purist charges at ZsasZ; running at full speed…right into a HUGE chop. Purist gets up and gets chopped down again. Purist does a beg-off as the crowd goes into full mark-out mode. ZsasZ hesitates and Purist gets into a squatting position from his knees and hits a Northern Lights Suplex.

 

Cole: “Purist holds on for a cover: 1…2…NO!”

 

Purist takes ZsasZ by the scruff of his neck and throws him over the top rope. He turns his back to take in all the wonderful cheap heat…and doesn’t see ZsasZ skin a cat to get back in. ZsasZ runs across the ring and gets a wicked cheapshot in on AP (To a pop). Purist turns around in disbelief and ZsasZ hops to the second-rope and hits a Double Axehandle to put him down.

 

AP comes in to get revenge for the cheapshot and gives the ref a Stunner to get him out of his way. Unfortunately all it gets is more heat, because it looks like AP is picking on the poor ref for no reason. He clotheslines ZsasZ over the ropes, and follows it up with a BIG plancha. To the ABSOULUTE SHOCK of EVERYONE Purist hits a pescado; and lands on his feet. There’s a camera nearby, and Purist takes an opportunity to soak in some more cheap heat.

 

Purist: “If you HAVE to do that fancy crap, at least do it as PERFECTLY as I do. See him? (Camera pans down to ZsasZ) He’s just a man! But I’m…”

 

Purist’s charming diatribe is cut off by a huge spear from Gladiator. He helps ZsasZ up and they both throw AP back in the ring. In the ring, ZsasZ and Gladiator work on the arm. After a bit of chain wrestling between Gladiator and AP with ZsasZ trying to catch his breath, AP gets an advantage. He hooks in a hammerlock on Gladiator. Gladiator goes behind into a waistlock and hits a MONSTER German Suplex. Purist runs in and hits a leg lariat on ZsasZ, but gets press-slammed by Gladiator. He turns around and gets a low-blow from AP. The ref is still down as the heels dump Gladiator over the top, and now it’s Purist against the fallen ZsasZ.

 

Purist throws him into AP’s corner and hits a Stinger Splash in on him. AP hesitates, but then begins working over the helpless ZsasZ. The crowd eats it up; screaming for AP’s blood. Purist tags in AP, and he goes to work on ZsasZ’s neck. He hits a couple neckbreakers and a HANGING VERTICAL SUPLEX! A new ref comes down and AP goes for a cover, but he only gets a 1 count do to the delays.

 

AP tags in Purist who goes to work on ZsasZ; furiously using knees against the back of his head and neck. ZsasZ gets to his feet and Purist hits a fantastic dropkick to put him back down again. Purist locks in a Front Facelock to weaken ZsasZ further, Cornette begins pounding on the mat, Gladiator wants in, and this match is heating up!

 

ZsasZ is slowly struggling out of the Facelock, but Purist is no fool and the hold is taking its toll. ZsasZ manages to get to his knees, and Gladiator is waiting for a tag. ZsasZ makes it to his feet. He throws Purist into the ropes and clotheslines him down. HOT TAG TO GLADIATOR ! Gladiator starts tearing shit up old-school. Belly-to-Belly for Purist! Vertical Suplex for AP! He signals thumbs down to the crowd, but is waffled over the head with a Tennis Racket by James E. Cornette. The ref is up and calls for the bell! Purist and Cornette beat down Gladiator while AP just watches. ZsasZ chases them off and the two faces shake hands in the ring.

 

WINNERS at 19:23 via DQ: ZsasZ and Gladiator!

Cole: What the hell is wrong with AP?

 

(Commercial Break)

 

HeldDOWN~! returns from break, and the arena is shrouded in darkness, save for a spotlight shinging on the ring. There are two mic stands set up, and a person comes forward, into the light. It's hD's very own Starbearer, Paul Stanley!

 

PS:"Ladies and gentlemen, for you, the people of HeldDOWN, I give you ACE FREHLEY!"

 

Another figure comes out of the shadow, and the reknowned guitarist for KISS waves to the crowd, his guitar slung over his shoulder.

 

PS:"Now...are you ready TO ROCK?"

 

Crowd roars in approval!

 

PS:"Ace...LET'S DO IT!"

 

Ace starts jamming on the chords, beginngin to play the KISS hit "Parasite", when suddenly Paul swings his guitar off his shoulders, and BREAKS IT OVER ACE'S BACK!

 

Paul stands above Ace, who toppled like a ton of bricks. He chokes him with the long end of the guitar, and kicks him out under the bottom rope and to the floor.

 

PS:"Now that we've got that out of the way...I just want one thing to be clear. I know you people, and YOU WANT THE BEST! Well, you've GOT the best! You've got the Starbearer here, and I'm ready to rock n' roll all over this roster. If anyone here actually thinks they've got what it takes to put me to shame, I dare them to show face!"

 

Paul looks to the back, no one comes out.

 

PS:"Aw, c'mon people? You mean to tell me that no one here is willing to..."

 

"Alien Shore" blasts through the arena as Mongoose Foshi steps out from behind the curtain.

 

Mongoose: Foshi has arrived!

 

Scattered cheers are heard, though mostly from amusement. Paul looks on in amazement.

 

Mongoose: "Mr. Stanley, I know you must be a busy man, but please hold for a moment or two as I address my people. Foshi is so happy to be here, we love our fans! Yes, we love each and every one of you great people and we cannot wait to blow the house down with a stellar performance, but that is not for tonight. After all, OAOAST is not all about the music, it's about the wrestling. So tonight, everyone in the back is receiving notice. Foshi is here, Foshi is justice, Foshi is power."

 

Paul puts his hands on his hips, staring at Foshi as if he's kidding him.

 

Mongoose: "Now, Mr. Stanley...or Paul. Can I call you Paul? Of course I can. We're pals. We're both very cool dudes. But, it has come to my attention that the things you do, well, you don't do them for the fans. Come on! Everything is for the fans! Beating up Ace Frehley certainly isn't for the fans. That's just uncalled for. I think you owe everyone an apology."

 

PS:"An apology? The only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't do this sooner. I'm a star, baby, and I've got a one way ticket to the top. Ain't no room for you on this ride!"

 

Mongoose: "Considering your bravado a few moments ago, I don't think you're fit for a ride to the top. As for your challenge, I whole-heartedly accept. The people paid good money and they deserve a good show. I see no better time than now."

 

Foshi drops his mic, and sprints to the ring. Paul kicks out the pieces of guitar, and waits on him!

 

Foshi slides in, and both men start trading punches. Paul grabs Foshi, and sends him into the ropes, but Foshi reverses it. He sets up for a dropkick, but just as he jumps, Paul puts on the breaks and bails out of the ring. Paul backs up the aisle, pointing and shouting at Foshi for ruining his night. "Alien Shore" plays again, and Foshi stands tall in the ring. This one is far from over!

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Guest Anglesault

Dream On, Dream On, Dream That someone else is in this segment. :)

 

:: Shattered Dreams is seen leaning against a wall. He's talking on a cell phone::

 

SD: Hiya Jen! How are ya? How's Brad?

 

:: Jennifer says something::

 

SD: No way! Are ya sure?

 

:: Jennifer says something::

 

SD: Well, it might be not be anal warts. It could just be like dried shit or something.

 

:: Jennifer says something::

 

SD: Yeah, I'm fine. Why?

 

:: Jennifer says something

 

SD: Oh yeah! The Breakup. Riiiight. Ya know what? I feel like totally liberated. This must be how those slaves felt when that Abe Lincoln dude freed them with the emaciated proclamation, or something.

 

:: Jennifer says something::

 

SD: Oh my god, you have no idea! Parka was such an ass hole. He treated me like shit! He toyed with my emotions, and he totally used me and abused me. I mean he called it tough love, but like the last time I checked, tough love isn't some telling you that no one cares about you. All he cared about was getting to the top of the OAOAST. I was just like a ladder to him. I'm totally not a ladder! He had no respect for me or for my feelings, ya know. I like gave and gave, and he took and took. He said he was trying to like push me to greater things or whatever. But the only thing he was pushing me towards was the edge of my sanity!

 

::Jennifer says something::

 

SD: No, there wasn't anything good about being around him. Oh my god, I took him to Grammy's, and his shoes were a lighter color than his pants! I nearly died of embarrassment, it was soooo bad! Then he got drunk and grabbed Vanessa Carlton's ass. I just wanted to crawl into a corner and die! Like everyday around him was a constant chore. It was like having to pump your own gas, or having to give yourself a manicure because Anna had one of her nervous breakdowns again. It's like Jesus Anna, of course the guy is gonna be upset when he finds out you have a dick. Duh!

 

:: Jennifer says something::

 

SD: Oh, the BK3's and Zack. Yeah they're mega cool. They like totally appreciate who I am and they like respect me as a person. That's like all I really want. For someone to treat me as the mega magically awesome person I really am!

 

::Jennifer says something::

 

SD: No, their isn't another reason I left the D.Macs!

 

::Jennifer says something::

 

SD: Okay, there might have been something that was super duper special that got me to leave! I can't tell ya what it is though, because I gotta go! Hugs and kisses! Bye!

 

::scene fades to black::

 

*Fade in on a TV screen with the image of Shattered Dreams hitting Parka with a chair. The tape rewinds, is played again, and is rewound and played once more. The camera pulls back to reveal Parka with a remote, staring at the screen and muttering to himself. Peter Knight looks on.*

 

PK: “Hey, Parka, you’ve been watching that over and over for almost a week now, snap out of it! We’re better without Richard Simmons Lite. If he wants to screw around with those punks, let him.”

 

LPYC: “’Snap out of it’? What the hell do you mean ‘snap out of it’? HE PRACTICALLY SPIT IN MY DAMN FACE LAST WEEK!!! After all I did for that little weasel: bringing him into the OaOast, placing my trust with him, beating the hell out of people together. He thinks I didn’t care about him, that I just used him to get to the top. No, I was teaching him something both you and I know very well: how to be a man. Where I grew up, you got your ass whooped if you got out of line with anyone, be it my papa, my uncle, or my friends. Shattered is just some coddled little brat that thinks the world is some giant mall that he can stroll through with everything he needs easily found.”

 

PK: “Nice metaphor.”

 

LPYC: “But life isn’t like that, you gotta work your ass off for what you get. But I put up with all of that for one reason; when I looked into his eyes I saw a man ready to be released. When he and I would pound on someone, I saw the joy and power it gave him, and I knew he liked it. I knew that if he was pushed in the right direction, we would become a force to be reckoned with in the OaOast. But the Boogie Knights, they brainwashed him, they made him believe all that bull about me toying with his emotions and treating him like crap. THEY made him turn on us. Shattered is a weak shell of a man because of his actions. He NEEDS to be taught a lesson like my papa used to do, and it needs to be done soon.”

 

PK: “Yeah, but don’t do it tonight. Make him think we’re coming for him, let him quake in his boots for a while. Now come on, let’s finish our little “spring cleaning” project.”

 

*Parka and PK start tossing items into a garbage can*

 

PK: “Autographed “Best of Barbra Streisand” CD collection…..”

 

LPYC: “Hello Kitty jogging suit….”

 

PK: “Photo of Jennifer Aniston sunbathing on the French Riviera…….hey Parka, what’s that over there?” *As Parka looks, Knight tosses the photo into his bag*

 

Parka: “You know, you’re right, I’m beating myself up over this WAY too much. I gotta go to the ring and do something about this. *Knight stands* No, you stay here, I want to handle this myself.”

 

*Parka exits the room as Knight looks puzzled. He just shrugs and fishes the picture out of his bag. He3"!"res at it as we fade to black*

 

Cole: What does he mean by that?

 

(California Love plays over the speakers as The Parka walks out to the ring alone. He grabs a mic and steps into the ring)

 

Coach: Well, we'll find out now, I guess.

 

Parka: "You know I've been sitting back there watching over and over the footage of Shattered Dreams' betrayal and I realized I've been looking at this all wrong. Shattered Dreams, in that moment of rage, did something I have never seen him do. He showed that he has balls after all. That is why I want to call Dreams out to the ring right now. So SD come on out here."

 

(A few seconds go by and nothing happens)

 

Parka: "I'm serious SD. Come out to the ring."

 

(Finally "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera plays and after a few seconds SD slowly walks out to the stage. He stops on the stage and hesitates to move any closer to the ring)

 

Parka: "Come on to the ring. I know you're not afraid of me. You never would have swung that chair if you were. It's just me out here. PK is in the back."

 

(SD finally makes his way to the ring and slowly steps inside)

 

Parka: "I asked you out here because I have something to say to you."

 

(Parka moves closer to SD causing SD to back up to the ropes and he starts to exit until Parka grabs him by the arm)

 

Parka: "Wait...I asked you out here to tell you..........that I'm proud of you."

 

SD: "You're proud of me??"

 

Parka: "Yes, I am proud of you. You finally stepped up to the plate and showed some guts. I like someone who's not afraid to show some guts. And right here in front of all of these people I want to shake your hand!"

 

(Parka extends his hand as SD finally begins to calm down and smile a little. He is still a little concerned and decides to look to the crowd for the approval to shake Parka's hand. The crowd boos and says no)

 

Parka: "Give them time and they will see the truth. They may tell you not to shake my hand, but they don't understand what I am saying. I just want to shake the hand of the man who had the guts to swing a chair at my face."

 

(SD finally reaches out and shakes Parka's hand.)

 

Parka: "There you go. You know guts will get you far here. You could have a bright future, but..................[WHAM!] (Parka kicks SD in the gut sending him down to the mat) you are still a little punk and NO ONE hits me in the head with a chair and gets away with it!

 

(Parka starts hitting SD in the head with the microphone while yelling)

 

Parka: "You wanna hit me!? You wanna be a big star........huh? How about this? How about you step in the ring with me.........at Living Anglelously! (Whacks SD with the mic a few more times) I won't even bring PK to ringside! I'll take you one on one so you won't have any excuses when I beat you!

 

(Parka tosses the mic and begins choking SD out of rage. PK comes in and begins kicking SD, but The Boogie Knights come out and run Parka and PK out of the ring. Parka, on the way back up the ramp, pulls out a cigar and lights it.)

 

Parka: "Now THAT is entertainment! Hahahahahahhahaha!"

 

(Commercial Break)

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Guest Anglesault

More Intertwined feuds than you can shake a stick at!

 

The lights in the arena dim slightly, as the AngleTron video for Los Infernales begins to play. Fans boo upon seeing this, none too happy about the World Tag Team Champions making an appearance here tonight...

 

"BREEEEEAK"

 

The emergence of heaviness in the song brings out SpiderPoet, EL DANDY~! and Black Widow, three of the six who will do battle in just mere moments. Poet and Dandy powerwalk to the ring with evil confidence shining through on their face. Widow walks slowly behind, her face more of a look of uncertainty. Poet turns back to her, and shouts for her to keep up. The trio enter the ring, with Poet and Dandy each going up on a corner and waving their belts in the air, while Widow circles the center of the ring.

 

The lights come up, and the all too familiar opening strains of "Enter Sandman" come up, as K Money and Josie strut out from the back! The cocky swagger of the newbie actually elicits some cheers, as he proved himself by standing toe to toe with Zack Malibu a few weeks ago. Now tonight, they stand on the same side of the ring, dealing with a man who has run them both down in recent days.

 

Money and Josie get to the ring, and hop up on the apron, staring in at the trio of Infernales before them. "Sandman" fades out, and "Just A Girl" by No Doubt kicks in, as the fans go nuts for the OAOAST's female sensation, Crystal! Crystal jogs to the ring, visibly determined to get even with SpiderPoet for his recent actions against her, stands on the second rope, eyeing both SP and Black Widow. The three faces continue to have a staring contest with the heels, as the place goes dark.

 

"How can you see into my eyes, like open doors..."

 

One of the best entrances in the land right now, all eyes are on the AngleTron, as the smash hit "Bring Me To Life" plays.

 

*WAKE ME UP*

 

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

 

The shower of golden pyro blocks our view of the entranceway, but Zack Malibu and Alison make their way through it, greeted by a tremendous ovation. The World Champion and his main squeeze head down the aisle, prepared to engage in conflict with SpiderPoet for the second time this week.

 

Zack gets to the ring, grouping up with his partners for the match. Josie and Alison take spots at ringside, and we're underway! K Money offers to start off the match, and he's going up against Dandy.

 

Lockup in the middle, but Dandy breaks off right away and elbows Money in the jaw, sending him tumbling back. Money shrugs it off, and comes in again for a lockup, but Dandy again breaks and hits and elbow to the mouth of Money. Money, growing agitated, goes in a third time, but drops down and drop toeholds Dandy to the mat! Money pulls Dandy up in a waistlock, but Dandy does a standing reverse into a waistlock of his own, but Money breaks and runs to the ropes, bouncing off and leapfrogging over El Dandy, then running off the other side and hitting a shoulderblock. Both men stand and stare, then both decide to hit the ropes, and again they collide in midring. Again, they hit the ropes, but this time Money slides on the mat, through Dandy's legs, then pops up and hits a spin kick as he turns around! Dandy gets to his feet, and gets dropkicked back down! Money tries another one as he gets up, but gets swatted to the mat! Dandy follows that up with an elbowdrop, but it misses! Money bounces off the ropes and tries an elbow of his own, but THAT one misses too! Dandy tries pulling the youngster up by his hair, but Money kicks back, catching Dandy in the head, then rolls backwards and to his feet, right into a Russian Legsweep by Dandy!

 

Tag to SpiderPoet, who comes in and taunts K Money, waving his hands in a "come get me" motion. K Money wipes his mouth, looking at SP, and comes in for a lockup. Poet grabs a headlock, but Money slips out and kicks SP's legs out from under him! While on the mat, Poet does the same to Money, then gets up and grabs his legs in a catapult position. Money nails SP with an open hand, stunning him to break the hold, and then takes SP over with a modified monkey flip! Money gets up and makes the tag to Crystal, who jumps in and begs SP to come at her, face to face! SP snidely smirks, and then tags in Black Widow, after he had barely been in the ring. He orders BW to go get Crystal, while Crystal shrugs in disbelief that SP backed down.

 

Crystal and Widow circle each other, and Crystal extends a hand, accepted in a show of sportsmanship from BW. SP shouts "Maim her!" from the apron, as Crystal and Widow lock up, and Crystal takes her over with an arm drag. Widow gets up, and then she takes Crystal over with one. Widow tries a high kick, ducked by Crystal and countered with a schoolboy...barely 2! Widow gets up, and backdrops a charging Crystal over, then bounces off the ropes, jumping up and over with a sunset flip...again, barely a 2 count! Crystal rolls to her feet, grabbing Widow's legs, then flipping over with a bridge...another 2 count! The women get back up to a vertical base, eyeing each other as the crowd applauds their efforts. SP, none too please, reaches in and tags Widow, now seemingly wanting a piece of Crystal. He stalks up to her, looking down with a menacing scowl. She doesn't back away, going right up to him and telling him where to go. SP shoves her hard, to the mat, and stands over her as she gets up. He grabs her by the hair and tosses her into the corner, where he blocks her in and yells threats. Crystal responds by slapping the taste out of SP's mouth! He turns, then charges the corner, but Crystal ducks out, then dropkicks SP so that he hits the corner chest first, and as he stumbles out she bounces off the ropes and floors him with a Matt Hardy style clothesline (where you lock the opponents' head upon impact)! Crystal turns to the crowd, who cheer her every move, and she goes and makes the tag to Zack!

 

Malibu comes in, and the crowd pops loudly. SP sees him and starts begging off, backing up into the corner. Zack charges the corner, crushing SP in there with a clothesline, then props himself up on the 2nd rope and starts hammering down punches on SP! In doing so, Zack doesn't notice the tag made to El Dandy, however the ref did. Zack pulls SP out of the corner and goes for a suplex, but Dandy comes in and kicks Zack in the gut, causing him to drop SP back on his feet. Los Infernales immediately take advantage, taking Zack over with a double suplex!

 

Dandy pulls Zack up, and then uses the laces on his boot to rake Zack's eyes! Zack reels in pain, while the referee orders Dandy to watch himself. As Zack gets up, Dandy goes behind, lifting him up with a German Suplex but turning in mid air and slamming Zack to the mat uranage style! With Zack down, Dandy hops up on the second rope and comes off with a Bret Hart-style elbow, onto the throat of the champ. Dandy makes a non-chalant cover, and Zack easily kicks out!

 

The Tag Team Champion pulls the World Champion off the mat, backing him into the corner and unloading with a flurry of chops that blister the skin on Zack's chest. Dandy then pulls Zack out of the corner, and smashes him in the nose with a headbutt! Zack bumps off the shot, and clutches his face. The co-holder of the tag belts stands over Zack, and reaches down for him, then throws him overhead with an EXPLOIDAH~! Zack goes skidding across the mat, as SP looks on approvingly.

 

Poet gets tagged in by Dandy now, and the two pick Zack up, press slam style,and aim to throw him to the floor! NO...K MONEY KICKS SP's LEG OUT! ZACK LANDS ON HIM...NOT EVEN CLOSE! That move agitated Poet, and he makes it known by attacking Money as he headed back to the apron. Money goes spilling to the floor, while Crystal shouts at SP. Poet bickers with his female rival, not noticing Malibu KIPPING UP~! and clotheslining him out to the floor! K Money, just getting up, sees SP land at his feet, so he leaps up to the apron, and then to the second rope...ASAI MOONSAULT ON SP~! Money flaunts, as the crowd goes wild, but gets caught off gaurd by a TOPE~! FROM EL DANDY~! Dandy starts stomping on Money, and helps SP up, but they turn to catch the APRON RUNNING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FROM MALIBU~! It's a trainwreck!

 

With all four men down, Crystal and Widow enter the ring, and lock up. Widow grabs a headlock, but Crystal spins out of it, then goes behind and lifts Widow up on her shoulders...ELECTRIC CHAIR SLAM! GOOD LORD!

 

With Widow down, Crystal points to the top rope and starts climbing, but suddenly Poet jumps up, pulling on the ropes and causing her to lose her balance! Crystal flips over, down to the mat, as SP has a sick smile on his face. He enters the ring, grabbing her violently by the hair, and makes the cut throat motion. SP then signals for a...tildeBANG~!?!?!

 

Poet whips the weakened Crystal to the ropes, and presses her up into the air...SCHOOL'S OUT ON SP~! ZACK COMES IN OUT OF NOWHERE! Crystal manages to land on her feet, but stumbles back against the ropes, still dazed. El Dandy takes an opportunity while he's on the floor, reaching in and grabbing her ankles, pulling her to the canvas. He slides in and picks her up, but K Money comes in behind him! Money spins him around, kick to the gut...SLICED BREAD #3 on EL DANDY~! Money jumps up, jacked by the response he's getting! He sees SP leaning in the corner, dazed, and charges...DR. SMOOTH'S SECRET RECIPE~! SpiderPoet comes tumbling towards K Money and Zack, but they sidestep him, and send him crashing into Black Widow! A meeting of the minds! Poet rolls out under the bottom rope, as Money and Zack set Widow up. Crystal recovers, and runs the ropes,leaping over Widow, up to the ropes...DOULBE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT~! Crystal hooks the leg...1...2...3!

 

Winners:K Money, Crystal, and Zack Malibu-Crystal pins Black Widow in 13:56.

 

Coach: What a victory of Crystal tonight!

Cole: Will it translate to Living Anglously?

 

(Crystal, Josie and K-Money make their way through the curtain and to the back...And run in to Anglesault and Brock Ausstin! AS approaches Crystal)

 

ANGLESAULT

 

Great job out there, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you.

 

CRYSTAL

 

Get away from me NOW.

 

ANGLESAULT

 

Oh, come on now honey...

 

(AS tries to grab Crystal, she attempts a slap, but he blocks hit and hits a long kiss on her before K-Money gets in his face)

 

MONEY

 

The lady told you to leave her alone.

 

ANGLESAULT (Turns to Brock)

 

You know, Brock, I know what his problem is. You see, he is stuck with her (Points to Josie) so when he sees two attractive people...

 

(AS turns around right into a Baker Kick that knocks him into Brock while Crytsal, Josie and K-Money walk away)

 

ANGLESAULT

 

He has NO IDEA what he just started. You see Brock, this is why it's good to have back up. People are always sneak attacking you.

 

(Some Guy is on the other side of the room, greeting some techs.)

 

ANGLESAULT

 

(Under his breath, to Brock) Some people are only good for back up. (Out loud, to Some Guy) Hey, my man, it's great to have you back! I've been hoping that someone with your...unique talents would come back to help. The treachery back here is amazing.

 

SOME GUY

 

Wait a minute...You thought I came back here to play LACKIE to you? Well, since you love to quote music, maybe this will help you understand...You've got another thing comin'! Because the first chance I get, I'm gonna kick your ASS!

 

(Huge pop, and SG leaves AS speechless)

 

::December 29th 2002, Battered Bloody & Beaten:

 

Fink-'Making his way to the ring, from Derby England, weighing in at 230lbs, CABOOSE!"

 

JR-'OH HELL YEAH! CABOOSE IS BACK!'

Jesse-'Dammit!'

 

Caboose dressed in Black and Silver Tights, with black and white face paint and a long black trench coat, stares straight at Naz, and lifts his right arm which is holding a black Cricket Bat. Caboose points the Cricket Bat straight at Naz and the crowd roars it's approval...

 

...Naz springs off the top rope with a Diving Moonsault! But in one fluid motion Caboose catches Naz on his right shoulder, and delivers the Emerald Fusion!

 

JR-‘What a move!’

Jesse-‘Sonofabitch!’

 

Caboose cover’s Naz and hooks the leg as BPP wakes up and slowly makes the count...

 

1-2-3!

 

The Crowd Explodes in hysteria as Caboose’s music plays!

 

Fade To Black.

 

December 30th 2002, Intense-Zone:

 

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…0

 

#18 is, no one? What in the world is…

 

WAIT! CABOOSE IS DROPPING DOWN FROM THE CEILING! He immediately frees himself from his harness, and starts firing away at everyone! Naz is dropped! GM is dropped! Alf is dropped! Dandy is dropped! SP is dropped! If it moves, Caboose hits it!...

 

...Out of nowhere, Caboose clotheslines Tony and BPP from behind, sending them over the top, to the outside! Tony hits the floor, but BPP is able to hold on. CWM slides under and starts fighting with BPP, finally knocking BPP off the apron, to the floor!

 

Winners: Caboose and CobainWasMurdered

 

Caboose and CWM start at each other. BPP and Tony both are stunned at what has just happened, as they can’t believe Caboose eliminated them! OAOAST and aWo have a shot at the tag belts? What the hell is going on?

 

Fade To Black.

 

January 6th 2003, Intense-Zone

 

The Entrance Stage explodes in Pyro as 'Bullets' by Creed blasts over the sound system.

(The Crowd roars )

 

A sole Spotlight shines up the rafters and picks out a shadowy figure.

 

The Shadow starts descending from the rafter's, slowly coming down through the darkness and landing in center ring. As the lights go up, we see the cloaked individual, who reveals himself to be Caboose. As he unfastens his harness, he doesn't notice another cloaked figure standing behind him.

 

JR:"What in the hell?"

 

The other figure smashes something across the back of Caboose's head...little shrapnel shoots everywhere...it was a lightbulb!? It's SANDMAN! Sandman takes the dazed Caboose and grabs the very wire that brought Caboose down from the rafters, and ties it around his neck!

 

JR:"GOOD GOD, STOP THIS!"

 

Sandman appears to be squeezing the rope with every ounce of strength he has. A disgusting visual of foam and saliva runs out of Caboose's mouth as he attempts to fight off this attack. Ultimately, he succumbs, and falls limp onto the mat. Sandman stands above him, and call for the mic.

 

SM:"You know people, Caboose couldn't wait to take part in the tag title match tonight. As you can see, he was all choked up over it!"

 

Sandman walks off, as EMT's and security rush past him to tend to the fallen Caboose, who lay motionless in the ring...

 

...And finally, just what happened with Caboose. Stay tuned in next week for another smashmouth episode of IntenseZone!

 

Fade To Black.

 

January 13th 2003, IntenseZone:

 

Nothing.

 

Images of Caboose. (Voiceover):

 

Just what did happen to Caboose? Why did Caboose go from a spectacular return and intriguing storyline to being killed off and never mentioned again?

What happened in that first week of 2003? Who was involved, was it business or was it personal? Did Caboose jump or was he pushed?

 

OAOAST Confidential: Behind The Violence,

 

Because some truths are TOO great to remain secret...::

 

(Break)

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Guest Anglesault

Talk Talk Talk Talk.

 

Clavin: It's becoming obvious that changes are being made around here. You see, for the first time in OAOAST history, money will be drawn in. I'm not talking about the nickels and dimes ting-tanging in for Living Angluously coming up, oh no. I'm referring to major corporations backing the hottest thing in wrestling today, Totally Endorsed. But, we also realize that while we're creating history by the minute, it's of very little good unless you have a way to capture the memories as a keepsake for eternity.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, that brings me to our newest find. At 5'10", 220 lbs., and hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, I present to you Coliseum Video's own COLVID!!!

 

(Colvid enters)

 

Colvid: First off, I'd like to thank Clavin, Mr. Simmons, and The Slacker for taking myself in with open arms. Speaking of open, Coliseum Video's lines are open right now for you to take advantage of a HOT deal from the good folks at CV because when you use your credit card to order Bashed in the USA, you'll receive Invasion of the Bodyslammers for the Ultra low price of JUST $49.95!!!

 

But as to why I joined Totally Endorsed, the answer is quite simple, to better entertain YOU the fans! You see, I saw Totally Endorsed evolve right before my very eyes last week and I knew this had to be something I had to be a part of. You deserve the best that our spons . . . I mean you, THE FANS, can buy!

 

Whether, it's in the form of Coca-Cola, Armani suits, a quaint Rolex watch, or home entertainment as brought to you by Coliseum Video, you can be rest assured that when you follow the lead of Totally Endorsed, you will only walk into the door of success.

 

Well, you won't walk INTO the door, you'll be able to open it and walk into a room of success, HA HA!

 

And if you don't see Totally Endorsed on an upcoming HeldDown event, ASK FOR THEM!!!

 

Cole: They could make a big impact here!

Coach: Now we must show you the results of the shockng Slacker match last week!

 

{On The Last heldDOWN~!}

-------------------------

[Fade In]

["Back Up" by 12 Stones plays in the background]

 

The Slacker vs. Calvin Szechstein (w/ TERRY SIMMONS~!)

 

The Coca-Cola jingle plays and Calvin Szechstein walks out with his HOSS, Terry Simmons. The announcer, as always, does his intro.

 

“Now entering the ring, representing OAT TOAST and HeldDOWN Magazine, he hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, home of Miller, the OAOAST, in association with OAOAST Home Video presents ANGLEMANIA II, is proud to present Calvin Szechstein, As Brought To You By Coca-Cola!”

 

“Back Up” by 12 Stones hits and The Slacker comes out to an underwhelming reaction. He enters the ring lackadaisically.

 

Cole: This could be a great match BUT OH MY GOD WOULD YOU LOOK AT TERRY SIMMONS.

Coach: I’M IN LOVE, COLE, LOVE. SIMMONS HAS THE GREATEST BODY I’VE EVER SEEN~! AND HE’S SO AGILE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Calvin and Slacker circle each other, and Calvin calls for a lockup. However, too lazy to do anything, Slacker ignores him. Frustrated, Calvin gets right in Slacker’s face, asking what’s the matter with him.

 

Suddenly, Calvin’s allergies pick up, and he SNEEZES on Slacker…but SLACKER DROPS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS! Calvin covers with one finger: 1…2…3~!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: Calvin Szechstein (via the SNEEZE OF DOOM)

 

Cole: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! WE’VE BEEN HAD! BUT WOULD YOU LOOK AT SIMMONS!

Coach: He is one SEXY beast. And I’ve seen JINGUS naked.

Cole: I guess we'll have to wait till NEXT WEEK to see what this is all about.

 

[End Usage Of "Back Up" by 12 Stones]

[Fade Out]

__________________________________

 

 

{Earlier This Week}

--------------------------------------

 

Omnipotent Voice: What you are about to see is a pre-record interview that was taped ealier this week, before heldDOWN~!

 

A totally black room is shown. It is completely lifeless of any color or of any significant thing except for two modest looking white chairs. In one chair sits a lone man that is widely known throughout the OAOAST fanbase as Michael Cole.

 

It was easily tellable that it's Michael Cole, and not simply because he was wearing the manditory heldDOWN~! work shirt and matching jeans. You could tell it was him by the short cut dark brown (almost black) hair with dusty blonde highlighting, his stubbly beard, and of course, Michael Cole's signature move: the cheesy "I'm trying to be excited about this, but God knows I wish I was elsewhere" smile.

 

To his right, and in the other chair, was a man that was hardly known to the OAOAST fanbase. At first glance, many would question why this interview was being held. But then, as a ton of bricks it would hit the person trying to figure out who it was. The realization of whom the person was became sudden.

 

The slender, sickly looking face that would make any sane girl just cringe from it's geeky and hideous complextion... The blood red ball cap that covered those dead sunken tourquise eyes that seemed devoid of any emotion except manic depression and of relinquished hope... The lackadaisical, but well built, torso that was covered by an azure t-shirt that had a silver dragon in the center, which was breathing bluish fire upon a crystalline globe... The crusty and flith covered blue jeans that had a different stain on them about every five stitches away... The worn and torn black Nike Shox that looked so beat up and busted that it was really hard to tell whether they were Nike Shox or not...

 

It all came together so perfectly that should anyone first take a good long, and hopefully non-toxicated look, they'd know that this one person was heldDOWN~!'s own, The Slacker.

 

Or if the person was really smart, they could just totally ignore looking at this poor wretch and quickly peek at the lad's ball cap as in blue handwritten lettering it has his name on it.

 

Michael Cole quickly flashes that signature move of his face before getting the que.

 

Cole: Hello, I'm Michael Cole. What could probably be called the biggest fiasco and travisty in OAOAST history, and most likely will forever be, had happened last week, April 10, 2003; as you've seen just in the clips before this interview. Many on the OAOAST fans have e-mailed us trying to shed some light on this incident, thusly this interview was set up to do so.

 

Michael Cole faces The Slacker and keeps that signature move of his going, but it certainly is stalling in places.

 

Cole: Slacks, fir-

 

The Slacker brings those dead-beat eyes upwards and glaring directly at Cole's. But that wasn't what stopped Cole from speaking away. The Master of Delinquentism holds up a single finger, pointing skyward, along his lips. A silent but almost hissful like "sssh" could be heard coming from the lips of Count Slackular.

 

Slacker: It's Slacker. Not Slacks. Not Slackering, not Slackotopia, and certainly not Slackzilla. As it sounds too much like Snackzilla and The Slacker slacks too damn much to be a Snackzilla. Does The Slacker look like a Snackzilla to you? Uh-huh. The Slacker thought you didn't think so.

 

Taken aback by the sudden interruption, the host mumbles a quick apology before shrugging his shoulders and then continuing on with the interview.

 

Cole: Now Slacker. Calvin Szechstein and you seemingly began to have some disagreements on the last IntenseZone~! before the split, and it looked like you two didn't really get along at all. But during the match as Calvin gets into your face and proceedingly gets on your case about not really competing, he sneezes on you and then wins the match. The whole match was a farse but what the viewers at home want to know is why? Why have you aligned yourself with Calvin and his cohorts?

 

Slacker: Before The Slacker answers your second question, The Slacker just wants to clarify the first. The Slacker was totally taken off guard by that stunning variation of a common house hold sneeze. The Slacker thinks that maybe it was - of course The Slacker's going to be using the English name as The Slacker's Japanese is that of a baby - the mighty Snot Driver that was done originally by the great Hiro Datsuka.

 

A look of utter disbelief and shock crosses Cole's face as his eyes check over the Deadbeat's face to make sure that he was absolutely not kidding about that.

 

Cole: You mean that someone actually used a sneeze as a move? And that there are different variations?

 

The Slacker's right eyebrow raises as The Slackerine of Slacktastes just gives off a look that could pass off at astonishment.

 

Slacker: Well, duh. You've never heard of mighty Hiro Datsuka? Was a greatly respected competitor in Japan that would be the living hell out of his opponents before giving off his devastating finishing move, the Snot Driver. You haven't heard of him? He was like the best wrestler in Japan during the glorious eighties.

 

Cole: Uh, well, I can't say that I have.

 

Slacker: During the ninties, there was Stephen Cordinal who uses the Old Skool Swipe. If The Slacker remembers correctly, and Slacker's mind is always fresh from being cleaned with Zest, he's currently working with Coastal Wrestling Federation. You gotta know him~! He's an up and coming superstar that's highly praised for his unique style of spinal moves.

 

Cole: ...no, I can't say I have.

 

The eyes of Slacktober are bulging out of their sockets as the incredulity of Cole's words strike at something within The Slacker.

 

Slacker: Not even Bernard Kobasew? You've gotta know "Snotty"~! He's got the coolest variation called "Is The Snots" that is out of this world. Truly is a master of the common house hold sneeze.

 

All the while Michael Cold is rubbing his temples in frustation as he can't believe that he's arguing with Slacker over a sneeze.

 

Cole: I doubt that one sneeze can possibly do as much damage as you say it can an-

 

Motioning with one arm for Cole to stop what he is saying, The Slacker's face tells the story of someone who feels that he's just been called a biatch and that person actually is one.

 

Slacker: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and whoa Jack Off~! How dare you diss the lively practiced signature move of the sneeze?! Do you have no compassion for the men and women who have trained and use that time old move on a daily business in this industry? Hell! As a fellow practicer of the art of the sneeze, The Slacker asks... NO~! Demands that you apologies to The Slacker's fellow comrades of the sneeze.

 

Cole is obviously taken aback by this sudden surgence of seething anger that has come so freely from The Slacker, as this is the first sign of life shown from The Slacker ever seen in OAOAST.

 

Cole: Well, I just don't see how the hell a sneeze can be a signature move, and also actually cause some damage. I'm not trying to upset you in any fashion Slacker, I've just never seen it or a "variation" actually hurt somebody before.

 

The Slacker sighs and releases all the pent up emotions that are running through his body. Finally, after a couple of deep breaths he speaks.

 

Slacker: The Slacker could show you his variation, of course. It'd hurt, but The Slacker could definitely show you.

 

Cole: ...um, I sure hope that would probably take a long time to get ready for.

 

Slacker: No. The Slacker could do it right here and now for you and the viewers.

 

Skeptical was probably the lightest thing you could call what Cole was feeling but being the good sport he was, and also knowing that he'd end up being sneezed on whether he wanted to or not, Cole nodded that it would be totally acceptable. Without pause from that nod, The Slacker got up out of his seat, and walked directly over to Michael. Cole was visably a little uncomfortable with how close The Slacker was, but of course The Slackous One either didn't notice or care.

 

A short breath of air was taken in by King Slacka as he bunched up his face every few seconds or so. His face was prunish every single time he did it, but as a little more time passed, the face movements became less fake and more genuinine. His head swayed up and down as he prepared to let loose his signature sneeze.

 

All the sudden, The Slacker stopped dead in his tracks of movement. Time passed on further as he just stood there, not moving. It didn't even seem like the man was breathing!

 

Cole: Um ... right ... since it appears that you couldn't successfully pull of the devastating move, could you please answer my second ques-!

 

Suddenly, The Slacker jerked his head backwards as if it had been shot with a fifty two caliber shot gun. Within milliseconds the momentum that had carried The Slacker's head backwards did a one-eighty. Just as quickly as before was the head moving the opposite direction and the sneeze began! Misty, bloody red snotish like stuff came flying out of his nose and slapped itself deeply into the sockets of Cole's eyeballs.

 

The hands of the host immediately went to get rid of the flakes of whatever came out of Dr. Slackeinstein's nose planted themselves onto the eyes. But alas, with every motion to clean away the snot, the more and more Cole's retinas felt like they were on fire.

 

Pandimonia followed the scream of terror coming from Cole's mouth.

 

Cole: URRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH~!

 

 

The most sickening of smiles befalled The Slacker's lips as he delightfully took in every single moment of Cole's agonizing torture. People were screaming for someone to call the paramedics, as the screaming just intensified in the moments that passed.

 

The Slacker calmly and casually walks off the set as everyone is running around as if the president was shot by an unforeseen assassin. However, Slack Guy appears back in on the set for a split second pointing to his head as if he thought of something.

 

Slacker: Oh and his other question's answer is simple. Calvin's getting Totally Endorse's sponsors - which incidently are OAOAST's sponsors - to slack off. That's right, no having to go to the gym. No having to actually change wrestling gear. No having to do anything that major atheletes do. The Slacker gets paid to do practically nothing. Oh, but The Slacker still has to wrestle though. That's all The Slacker has gotta do though. Well that and Calvin's also the person who bribed some of the leading officals of OAOAST with endorsements, so as The Slacker would be hired. Of course, Calvin also paid out extra dividends in endorsements to make sure that hD is where The Slacker would be at.

 

The paramedics finally arrive on the set and begin setting up a stretcher to get him to the hospital as fast as possible, since they deem that Cole is having a brain aneurysm and needs to be checked into the hospital right away.

 

As the camera fades to black, the deceitful look of delighted joy was turned upon the camera as The Slacker addressed the viewers that would be watching this later.

 

Slacker: Oops. Guess The Slacker shouldn't have snorted up that mixture of grounded red hot chili peppers, now should he? Cause then it wouldn't have been sneezed into those eyes. Oooo... That's gotta hurt.

 

(Fade out)

 

Cole: Slacker is a SICK man, he could have put me out for a long time.

Coach: But he chose not to, Cole, so don't push him.

Cole: I suppose you're right. Well, folks, our next match...

 

"War Ensemble" by Slayer plays over the sound system and Brock Ausstin storms down the aisle, as his manager Rick Heyross tries to keep up with him. Brock jumps onto the apron and gets into the ring. Brock does the happy dance, much to the displeasure of the crowd.

 

"Fighter" by Christina Aguilera blares over the speakers, and Shattered Dreams makes his way through the crowd and heads towards the ring. He looks a little pissed off at what happened earlier between himself and his former Dream Machine partner, The parka.

 

Dreams gets into the ring and charges at Brock. Brock shakes off Dreams' offense and KILLS him with a Clothesline of Mass Destruction. Dreams stands back up and Brock takes him right back down with another Clothesline of Mass Destruction! Brock screams and poses. He lifts Dreams off the mat and tosses him to the outside. Heyross stomps the shit out of Dreams and tosses him back into the ring.

 

Crowd: Heyross sucks! Heyross sucks! Heyross sucks!

 

Brock lifts up Dreams and irish whips into the corner. Brock nails Dreams with a turnbuckle clothesline. Brock lets out a violent scream and takes Dreams down with a stalling spinebuster. Dreams slowly stands up but Brock knocks him back down with a big boot! Brock stomps away at the young man from Beverly Hills. Brock puts his adversary into a sleeper hold but Dreams escapes the hold and begins to punch Brock. Brock shrugs off the assault and hits Dreams with a Hossly Goodness!!

 

Crowd: Dreams! Dreams! Dreams!

 

Brock does another happy dance and goes for a pin. 1...2....KICK OUT! The crowd sighs in relief. Brock looks frustrated and proceeds to stomp a mudhole in his opponent. Brock lifts Dreams up and tries to powerbomb him but Dreams reverses it into a hurricanrana! Brock gets right back up and charges at Dreams, but gets NAILED with a leg lariat! Brock doesn't go down and just stumbles around in pain. Dreams goes behind him and takes him out with a MEGA MAGICAL FLASHBACK! Brock rolls around in pain as Heyross yells for his client to get up. Dreams takes off his mesh shirt much to delight of the female fans. He kicks at Brock, trying to keep him down, but the big man pushes himself up. He grabs SD, lifting him over his shoulder, and running forward, smashing him into the corner! Brock then exits the ring, and pulls out A TABLE! He sets it up on the outside, and climbs up on the apron. Dreams is a bit woozy, and Brock pulls him out onto the apron, readying him for a powerbomb! The referee tries to stop it, but Brock won't hear of it! He lifts SD up, but Dreams floats over, landing back in the ring! Brock is stunned that SD escaped, and SD immediately bounces off the ropes, then leaps OVER the top rope,and SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMBS BROCK THROUGH THE TABLE!

 

Cole:"Talk about backfire!"

 

The referee calls for the bell, disqualifying SD for use of a table!?!?!

 

Cole:"OK, this ref is way too uptight. He's not going to last long on hD."

 

Crowd: Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!

 

Rick Heyross climbs into the ring,and applauds the decision.

 

Dreams climbs back in, angered, and charges at Heyross. Heyross tries to run, but Dreams catches him and destroys him with a MEGA MAGICAL FLASHBACK. Dreams Super kicks the ref who DQ'ed him and tosses him to the outside! Dreams gets out of the ring and exits through the cheering crowd as an enraged Brock gets to his feet and threatens revenge!

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Guest Anglesault

Hey, it's a guy with a dumb title! And a new belt is formed!

 

General manager Tim Moysey makes his way to the ring, briefcase in hand.

 

"Last week, when I was introduced to you, I promised to make heldDown the best damn show I possibly can, and tonight, I'm

here to introduce one piece of that puzzle. You see, unlike that other show, IntenseZone, heldDOwn is ALL about the action,

 

whether it's in the ring, backstage, it doesn't matter, the action you see every Thursday night never stops. Now, one thing

I've noticed since I've come back is that many, if not all, of the heldDown superstars have fighting attitudes, and

personally, I love that. I've decided to take advantage of that, and that's why I have this briefcase with me right here."

 

*open briefcase, revealing 24/7 title. Hoists belt in the air*

 

"That's right, the return of the 24/7 title! Now, I'm not going to just award this belt to someone, because that's something that those hacks on IntenseZone would do. Instead, I'm going to leave this belt right here in this ring, and let the heldDown superstars decide who wants it more. Thank you very much!"

 

Cole:"What a shock! Tim is handing down the old 24/7 title to a HeldDOWN star!"

 

Tim exits the ring, leaving the belt just laying there, waiting for an owner to claim it! Suddenly, The Slacker comes running down the aisle, and slides into the ring, scooping up the title and waving it proudly. He makes a beeline for the entranceway, but Paul Stanley comes through the curtain and KABONGS~! him with a guitar! Paul grabs the belt, and turns to leave, but gets caught with a spear from Foshi, who he had trouble with earlier! Foshi goes to get up, but before he can, Totally Endorsed are on the scene! Simmons scoops up Slacker, putting him over his shoulder, while Calvin grabs the belt! The TE team disappears into the back, with Calvin holding the title.

MC:"Wait, so seeing as how the title was merely being handed down for now, and there was no match..."

 

Coach:"Calvin is our 24/7 Champion! That's got to be a big coup for him! Think of the endorsements now!"

 

Cole:"I'd rather not, thanks."

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Guest Anglesault

::Sigh:: More Glowing Batons

 

"Komodo” plays and the crowd rises to their feet in anticipation for the Boogie Knights! Kotzenjunge, Zorin, and Shattered Dreams dance out to the ring, showing off their amazing glowsticking skills.

 

KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE~!

 

“Attitude Adjustment” by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers as Anglesault walks out for this match. He is followed by the rest of the Un-Stable, Brock Austin and The Superstar.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Kotz immediately runs at Anglesault, but is met with the Sweet Emotion belly-to-belly! Sault poses and picks up Kotzenjunge, and sets him up for the Angle Slam! He brings him around…but Kotz lands on his feet, kicks AS in the gut…THE FINAL RECORD~!! He goes for the pin:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-Superstar comes into the ring with a chair, and brings it down across the back of Kotzenjunge!

 

*CRACK!*

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Superstar follows this up with two more chairshots to the un-protected back, until the other Boogie Knights run in! Brock enters the ring as well, and immediately catches Shattered Dreams up into position for the F-STUNNER-5 on a steel chair~! Anglesault, recovered from the Final Record, ducks a Zorin clothesline and gives him the Last Child, and once he hits the mat, Superstar follows that up with a chairshot to the face! Anglesault locks in the Screams of No Reply on Kotzenjunge, but wait!

 

CUE: 777

 

The crowd goes crazy as K-Money charges into the ring! He ducks past SS and Brock, and begins laying in right hands to Anglesault! However, Superstar grabs the chair off of the mat, and lays in ANOTHER shot to the back of K-Money, and he doubles over. Brock grabs K and delivers yet another F-STUNNER-5~! Superstar grabs the SLEDGE from under the ring and hands it to Anglesault, who brings it down HARD onto the ribcage of K Money.

 

There is carnage all around the ring. The Knights are down. K-Money is down. And Brock is getting something from under the ring. GUITARS? Brock Ausstin has guitars, a mic, and an amp (!) from under the ring. What the fuck? Anglesault grabs the mic.

 

ANGLESAULT

Well, well, well. Look what we have here. Well, I can't say you weren't warned. They say, if you play with fire, you're gonna get burned. Well, damnit, you're playing with hellfire here. But really, why dwell on the negative? Tonight, we're goona show you dancing idiots what some real music is.

 

AS and SS grab some instruments, while Brock stands guard. The beginning of Live and Let Die starts to play. AS begins to sing.

 

ANGLESAULT

When you were young, and your heart was an open book, you used to say 'live and let live...'

 

ALL

You know you did, you know you did, you know you did.

 

At this point, the worst kept secret in OAOAST is revealed: Anglesault can sing. Superstar and Brock? Well...anyway.

 

ANGLESAULT

If this everchanging world in which we live in makes you give in and cry...SAY LIVE AND LET DIE!

 

(Music)

 

ANGLESAULT

What does it matter to ya, when you've gotta job to do? You've gotta do it well, You've got to....

 

CUE: “Sexy Boy”

 

Some Guy’s music BLASTS through the arena and the crowd goes insane!

 

ANGLESAULT

WHAT THE FUCK?

 

Indeed, Some Guy comes RUSHING to the ring, and immediately upon entry SPEARS Brock Ausstin down! Superstar pulls Some Guy off of Brock, but SG nails him with a low blow…and hits the SOME DRIVER!! Anglesault is waiting for Some Guy to turn around, and he’s ready to swing the guitar at him. But when SG does turn around, he ducks the guitar shot, and SOME KICKS the guitar right into Anglesault’s face, and the guitar explodes upon impact! Brock turns Some Guy around, and hoists him up for an F-Stunner-5, but Some Guy drops behind, spins him around, and drops Brock with the SOME KICK~!!!

 

The Un-Stable gather themselves and scurry out of the ring, to fight another day. Some Guy surveys the fallen faces, and simply points towards the Un-Stable, vowing revenge as we fade out.

helddown.jpg

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Guest Anglesault

© 2003 OAOAST Productions

 

Director

Anglesault/Zack Malibu

 

Executive Producers

Anglesault

Zack Malibu

Tim Moysey

Kotzenjunge

 

Writers

Van Siclen

Kotzenjunge

Colvid

Slacker

Zsasz

Zack

Tim

Some Guy

Superstar

Anglesault

Tony

Shattered Dreams

KingPK

LPYC

Foshi

Paul Stanley

Caboose

 

EXTRA Special thanks to Anglesault, for helping out due to my computer troubles.-Zack

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