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Guest Breetai

Insane friends

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Guest Breetai

OK, I realise that life being what it is, the members here are quite more than likely to have friends and aquaintences who are a little bit on the wacky side of normal. However, do you have any who can be classified as BATSHIT INSANE?

 

One of the guys who lives with me in a shared apartment, Jason, is perhaps the most bizzare person I have ever met. He's this unassuming Malaysian guy, with a patchy 70's porn star mustache.

 

He finds everything to be insanely funny. He'll walk into my room, stare at a blank spot on the wall, then collapse laughing. He'll then run into his room, jump on the bed, bounce off, jump back on, and dry hump it for about a minute, all the while laughing maniacally. This guy is 25, by the way.

 

On occasion, he'll burst into my room with nothing but boxer shorts and a towel on his head, flex like a bodybuilder, and run out doing what can only be described as a cross between Ace Ventura running, and Gir from Invader Zim.

 

Finally, and this is the thing that opened my eyes to exactly how warped he is;

 

He's never had to cook for himself before, and is not used to apartment living. While his cooking skills are adequite (as evidenced by the fact that he is not dead yet) his washing up skills left a lot to be desired. He would put a squirt of cold water on each plate, add some detergent, and wipe it off. I tried to teach him how to do it properly, so I gave him the following advice:

 

1. Use HOT water. We have a hot water tap for a reason.

 

2. Wash your dishes IN THE SINK. FILL THE BLOODY SINK!

 

Well, apparently I had gotten through to him. To a small extent. Then I saw him the next night.

 

He was cleaning the baking tray. AHA! He thought. Hot water! So this is what he did.

 

He put a squirt of detergent in the baking tray.

 

He filled the baking tray with water from the COLD water tap.

 

He put the tray in the oven, and turned it on to heat the water up.

 

I just looked at him and what he was doing, so he turned to me, and with a confused expression on his face, just said "What?"

 

Fucker's crazy.

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Guest The Amazing Rando

well...

 

I'm a crazy bastard... I mop floors at work without a shirt on and I can pretty much do the Strong Bad voice...screaming "Holy Crap" alot at work...

 

Oh...and I occasionally sing songs by way of hynmal, Cartman, or Elvis impressions...

 

But i'm not wierd...nah...

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Guest Zero_Cool

I'm usually considered the crazy friend..the onw who mentions the most off the wall and random things, like how an Alice Cooper song slides well into a Blink 182 song.

 

Or just sit on a table with a pair of scissors and piece of printer paper, and cut down the edges of the paper, eventually making a ten foot long strand of paper on the floor, and meanwhile freak out your classmates and teacher.

 

Yeah..I guess I am the crazy one.

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Guest ShooterJay

I'm not the "crazy" friend per se, I'm the "lovably quirky" friend. -the one who has a few odd personality tics, but everybody likes because he's such a nice wonderful guy.

 

I'm also the vain and egotistical friend.

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Guest saturnmark4life

I forced most of my hand down my throat in a pub and vomited into an ashtray to express my disgust at coldplay being played on the jukebox, that doesn't make me crazy does it? I mean it was fucking coldplay.

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Guest Renegade
I forced most of my hand down my throat in a pub and vomited into an ashtray to express my disgust at coldplay being played on the jukebox, that doesn't make me crazy does it? I mean it was fucking coldplay.

Jesus...wow thats some hate.

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Guest Kotzenjunge

I'm undoubtedly the weirdest motherfucker that anyone who knows me knows. The sad part is that they don't really know how sick and twisted my mind REALLY is. I mean, my best bud came up with this weird mental image of his Cobra having sex with his future Supra, and I went into a totally improvised narrative of the entire event, complete with the voices of the cars.

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Guest Fook_Hing_Ho

I, like ShooterJay, am more "lovably quirky" than just plain crazy.

 

But Breetai, if I were you, I'd get myself a new roommate pronto. You don't want this guy sleepwalking to your room and trying to choke you in his sleep. Trust me.

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Guest Insanityman

Hhmmm... I don't quite live up to the username. But I'm one of the two insane friends with my group. I'm the most masochist of us all, so I'm usually the one doing the insane jumps off of stuff for shits and giggles... but my other friend- he has no guilt, no embarrassment. I hardly do either, but he'll purposely skate out right in front of the cars and pretend he got hit. I'll just go into random laughing spasms also while he'll hump random things just to freak people out. He'll go around acting like he's retarded while I'll be right behind him pretending I'm the most gay guy on Earth- good times, good times.

 

 

...Yet, we've both managed to get friends and girlfriend, go figure.

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Guest jimmy no nose

I've never had a friend who does all that flipping out and stuff, but one time in high school there was this kid who was friends with the same people I was friends with, so we'd end up together fairly often. So sometimes we'd be out doing something and he'd just kind of disappear and no one would see him leave, he'd just be gone. One day we went to a movie with him and soon after we left we couldnt find him. So one kid decided we should go to his house and see what happened, so when we got there he was outside his house wearing a business suit and sunglasses, standing on his diving board staring down at the water in his pool. So we were like "Kevin what are you doing?" and he was just like "Hey guys" and we went in his house and watched TV. It's still seems like one of the weirdest things ever when I think about it.

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Guest saturnmark4life
I forced most of my hand down my throat in a pub and vomited into an ashtray to express my disgust at coldplay being played on the jukebox, that doesn't make me crazy does it? I mean it was fucking coldplay.

Jesus...wow thats some hate.

What pisses me off the most is that Andrew WK used more chords in the main riff of party hard than Chris effing Martin and his session musicians EVER have, and he has the decency to hammer the shit out of his piano at a speed which won't put you into a coma. One is hated for being repetitive, one is hailed as the 'greatest music of the 21st century' or whatever. And have you ever heard when Chrissy tries to sound intelligent commenting on world issues? Oh dear. But I've had this rant.

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