OAOAST IntenseZone - 4/21/03

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Last Week on iZ

 

Zack Malibu narrowly escaped the clutches of Los Infernales and a mysterious masked man ...

 

The I.O.U. boldly went where jobbers dream ... to winsville ...

 

Big Poppa Popick was laid out by Orion ...

 

Reject fought Jailbait to a draw ...

 

ShooterJay almost won Puerto Rican Gold in his first match against the Lightning

 

What will happen this week~!?

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

(The arena is dark, the fans can be heard stirring. The Angletron comes on with a loud sound of wind like that of a tornado with pictures of a Hurricane hitting a coast.)

 

HE'S COMING~!!!! ARE YOU READY?

 

 

(The images on the Angletron become blurred and fade to black)

 

 

Kevin Kelly stands at the back entrance of OaOasT arena as the iZ logo appears on the screen. Sweat dripping from his meaty forehead, Kelly is startled when the door abruptly opens, and Big Poppa Popick walks in, crutches and all with a look of fiery defiance on his face. He's seen his share of battles over the past months. Kelly stammers and tries to stand up straight.

 

Kelly: B..Bi..Big Poppa Popick...a...a moment please?

 

BPP: What Kelly? What now?

 

Kelly: Are? Are you aware of the footage?

 

BPP: Which footage?

 

Kelly: Umm...the the footage here...

 

Credit: OaOasT HeldDown...Thursday at 10pm ON tsm!

 

::Clips are shown of Some Guy's return and promo::

 

--

"Sexy Boy" hits and the crowd looks at each other confused…. Then Some Guy bursts through the curtains and the crowd goes crazy!

 

SG dances his way to the ring wearing his Red Sox cap and an old aWo shirt, he slides in the ring kips up, does a Shawn Michaels-like pose and soaks up the adulation of the crowd.

 

--

BPP was obstinate. He wouldn't go along with the angle as planned and he fucked it up. BPP caused me to leave the OAOAST, he caused Caboose to leave, and he caused the founder of the fucking thread, CWM to leave his creation

--

And to answer the last question, "am I going to stay?"

 

All I can say is, "stay tuned." BPP, you killed my favorite past time and I just might come back and kill you.

 

Do I make myself clear?

--

The camera goes back to Kevin Kelly, and to a BPP with a very enraged face...He clenches his fists on his clutches to refrain from kicking anything nearby...Kelly continues.

 

Kelly: What I want to know is ...

 

::WHACK~! BPP loses it and uses his steel crutch as a projectile against the wall...barely missing Kelly. BPP staggers and nearly loses his footing...standing up on one leg.::

 

BPP: Bring that microphone closer Kelly...

 

::Kelly nervously sticks out his hand with the mic closer to BPP, wincing all the time::

BPP promo on Orion, SomeGuy and Helddown. BPP begins his longest speech to date::

 

Firstly...WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE some guy! I'll tell you what you are. ::BPP glances back at Kelly:: You're like the rest of em. You're a quitter, a loser, and someone who isn't worth the spit I'd spat on you if I was running HeldDown. I killed your favorite past time. No, I didn't kill anyone's past-time. Caboose...Caboose hid under a mask and lied to us all, including me. I am NO PSYCHIC, so unless you speak your ass up I will not know what you're thinking. And we see what happened to Caboose didn't we? He came back, got frustrated, and LEFT AGAIN. Cobain...Cobain's out logging in the Canadian wilderness because he couldn't handle the pressure. AND GUESS WHAT? HE never ever mentioned it to any of us in Corporate. The same goes for Angle-Plex...Well, sorta. HE got what he wanted. He got a push, a push I made the gutsy call on.

 

::BPP peers at Kelly::

 

Here's a little known fact. The day after the Royal Rumble we were to strip Angle-Plex of the Title Shot and give it to Zack in a match later on. This was when Sandman and I were running alot of the booking. But I changed my mind at the last minute and booked Angle-Plex into AngleMania where he deserved to be, MAIN EVENTING FOR THE TITLE. I felt bad for everything that had been done to him...And what did this sympathy get? NOTHING. I WAS NEVER THANKED KELLY. Superstar gets to run his own show now...Are the old guys thanked...No...Superstar ran Tony out of the promotion. Some thanks.

 

See, these people like to complain, and they can present a hell of a case if they just forget about alot of the facts. Here's a fact, plain and simple...If people have a problem with me, come to my face and say it. Don't be a bitch and whine about it backstage with your buddies...festering sores until you hatch some grandiose guilt-tripping retirement plan...

 

If you're going to retire...RETIRE!

 

But ohh Kelly, what gets me worse than that is Wednesday night I'm talking with Zack Malibu ::crowd pops:: and he's telling me what a bang-up HeldDown he's going to have. But did he mention that he invited Some Guy back, or that he was going to say that about me...No...he didn't.

 

Hey Zack, do you even care about our friendship anymore. See what Some Guy did hit in the stomach hard...but if you knowingly let him out there to make me look like some egotistical asshole...then you hit below the belt.

 

::Crowd gasps::

 

Now, I can't just go onto HeldDown and confront Some Guy...and he knew this...He's a coward, he knows I won't be able to respond to him face to face. Typical aWo bullshit. But Some Guy, anytime you got the guts, I'll gladly come over to the HeldDown show and KICK YOUR ASS ALL OVER THE ARENA...Capeche hombre? How dare you insult me when I've at least toughed it out for over a year, ya quitter. Like me or hate me, I am still here. And if anyone cares to know, I already told the truth in the OaOasT Confidential special airing what...this weekend before the PPV. You'll see the interviews, and you'll see there's only 1 person who isn't hate filled...and that's me. I'm telling it exactly like it is. The others just know how to carry chips on their shoulder and wallow in their own self-pity like the swine they are.

 

Remember Some Guy ... anytime I will come to HeldDown and prove to the world why I'm still around, and still in charge okay? I may not make the best decisions, but at least I tried.

 

::Kevin Kelly begins to take the microphone away, but BPP grabs it::

 

Hold on, I am not done yet. I have been here for over a year, and shit like that gets aired about me? I think I've earned at least some respect. Tony and I had a hell of a match...The OaOasT has added a ton of new talent...I get no respect? No, that changes...Firstly I've got a match tonight, where opposite of me is a no-talent newb who likes to challenge people when they're down...Well guess what Orion? I scared you last week being paralyzed, and this week I can walk... ::BPP glances down:: sorta ::He smirks, the crowd laughs::. They say I'll be cleared for our one on one at Living Anglelously, and I'll show you then why its a bad thing to Cross The ::Crowd (Boss)::

 

Hold on, hold on, I am not done yet. I'm looking at you guys over there...and over here. If anyone has a problem with BPP, let them come and say it. I've got my backup, and I'll for sure make sure that if I ever get taken down, I am going down with a fucking fight! Now Zack, I hope HeldDown succeeds, but I seriously distrust you right now...Who knows, maybe Evenflow was right...Maybe it has gotten to your head...

 

I must do what I must do. How can you blame me for doing that which I could not help but do?

 

BPP grabs his bag and crutch, limping away from a shocked Kevin Kelly.

 

JR: How about that for a welcoming for iZ?

 

Jesse: I'm getting a fax here...

 

JR: Not this again... Last time I did this

 

Jesse: It was funny.

 

JR: No. Last time I did this.

 

Jesse: It would've been funnier if I had been doing this.

 

JR: What's it say anyways.

 

Jesse: Damian will be here...very shortly, with a major announcement.

 

JR: We haven't seen him since AngleSault attacked him weeks ago. Fans, this will be ground-shattering!

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

International Organization of UnderCarders

vs.

Mystery Weirdness Connection

#1 Contendership on the line

 

JR: Why in the hell is the I.O.U in the ring?

 

j.o.b. squad: So, in our 3! 3! 3rd match together

 

k ness: we think we should get a title shot, but we gotta beat

 

j.o.b. squad: some weird guys

 

"Ice, Ice Baby" plays and through hellfire and umm...coldness come Eskimo and Jingus, the Mystery Weirdness Connection.

 

Jesse: These guys still team?

 

JR: Yes

 

They slide in the ring and we've got a match, #1 contendership on the line!

 

K-ness and Eskimo start off, trading hiptosses until K-Ness lands on his feet, throwing a clothesline, Eskimo ducking, and K-ness tripping...Eskimo laughs and tags in the big man, unable to contain his hilarity.

 

Jingus plods into the ring...and hits a half-hearted chokeslam, not even bothering to prevent the tagging. j.o.b. squad in

 

job squad hits jingus with 100 right hands. he no sells them all and throws a clothesline from somewhere i guess...worse than hell.

 

outside, k-ness grabs a bag, then throws the bag down. he yells at job squad. jingus goes to pick job squad up, low blow, but jingus pulls out a steel cup and smiles...job hits another low blow, and this one takes jingus down...job crawls to the corner, but jingus grabs his leg

 

job kicks jingus in the head, then pulls him over to the ropes. job runs to eskimo and punks his azz out, and the ref sees that but not the powder going into jingus's eyes. eskimo throws the ref down and spears job as jingus gets up. they bump together and jingus fiercely clawslams eskimo. k-ness comes in and pushes jingus under the ropes, taking punishment from jingus

 

job crawls over and covers eskimo. the ref recovers and counts the 3!

 

JR: Ugh.

 

Jesse: Well, that's what we get for filler content when our writers aren't able to contribute.

 

JR: The sub writer sucks.

 

Jesse: Yes, he does.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

"Just Gimme The Light.....Yeah Yeah....Just Gimme the Light....Just Gimme the Light...."

 

The beat starts as the pyro goes off and Dames walks to ring, slowly as the crowd pops. He's having some difficulty moving a bit.

 

He gets in the ring and grabs...THE STICK~! He appears to be a little out of breath and is holding his neck.

 

Dames: "Thank you....thank you everyone. I know that you all have been wondering why I wasn't on the show last week. Well, those of you who watched the draft know that that son of a bitch AngleSault put me through a God Damned Table after it was over!

 

The crowd boos...

 

Dames: "See, normally, I let things go...I took a week off to recover. But tonight, I was in the back taking care of....uh...business, so to speak and due to my injuries, I had to let the girls do all the work. Now, while that may sound nice to some, I'm a "take charge" kinda guy, if you know what I mean."

 

The crowd laughs a bit.

 

Dames: "Well, here's the deal. Although I could...and probably SHOULD troop my ass over to HeldDown and beat his ass, I'm going to be the bigger man about this, just like the girls in the back know. When I came out and I told AS that I was going to put his ass out of business. Now, a lot of people say that I drafted the wrong guys. Some people have said that IZ is the lesser show. Well, I'm going to prove all of the naysayers wrong, starting NEXT WEEK!"

 

The crowd pops lightly, but are awaiting patiently for what Dames has to say.

 

Dames: "Now, a lot of people have asked how I came into power....and I'll tell you. You see, I started out as a lowly administrative assistant at the TSM Network. Some hard work and dedication lead me to a promotion in marketing and eventually, landed the gig as the Pres. I have the same hard work, fire, desire and passion that all of the guys in the back have. So, now....it's time to show everyone what you got. Just like I did when I became President of the TSM Network, we're gonna spice things up a bit. Starting NEXT WEEK, I am issuing Carte Blanche to every single one of the Intense Zone boys."

 

The crowd doesn't say anything....just listening...

 

Dames: "I can see that you guys don't get it yet. Well, let me put it to you this way. From now on....NO ONE is safe. From the moment they arrive in the building, til the moment they leave the door, all of the Superstars of IZ can do WHATEVER they want....WHENEVER they want, with NO ONE, not even ME to stop them."

 

The crowd pops.

 

Dames: "Starting NEXT WEEK, there ARE no Rules! The refs....targets. Production crew....targets. Hell, even I'm a target. So be careful boys, because Strength in Numbers is the way to go. So everyone....get ready because Intense Zone will be just that next week....an Intense, Crazy, Warzone..."

 

His music hits and he leaves....

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

JR: Fans, we have a big time debuting OaOasT superstar awaiting the back with a killer promo!

[standing in front of a backstage bathroom with a 6 pack of beer]

 

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

Are you ready to rock?

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

Are you ready to roll?

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm gonna make a big impact here in this motha-fucka, and if I don't, I'll get myself piss drunk trying. Hell, even if I do make a big impact, I'll get myself piss drunk anyways!

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

[falls down, gets back up and looks at the camera]

What the fuck are ya looking at? Get out of my face...

[camera guy falls as Drunken Fuck walks away]

...damn stalker...

 

JR: And that's the Drunken Fuck! Coming to iZ Next Week!

 

Jesse: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrr

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Reject and Big Poppa Popick

vs.

Orion and Crooked Ref

Grudge Match

 

"Headstrong" hits as the F13 Champion, Orion and his Crooked Ref make their way down to the ring.

 

Cue "My Hero" Big Poppa Popick and Reject rush down to the ring"

 

BBP and Orion lock up, then break. In a sign of dis-respect, Orion slaps BPP in the face. Angry, BPP safely spears Orion to the mat and lands a flury of right hands to the face of Orion. As the referee pulls BPP away, Orion lands a cheap shot to BPP.

 

Taking control of the match, Orion whips BPP hard into the corner, the impact sends BPP crashing to the mat. Orion continues the onslaught, landing multiple Elbow Drops into the injured back of BPP. Orion covers, 1...2...TWO COUNT.

 

Orion lifts BPP and again whips him into the corner. Orion signals for " The 315". Orion charges...NO! BPP moves out of the way, both men are down. BPP crawls to the corner, trying to tag an awaiting Reject. He reaches the corner...TAG TO REJECT!.

 

Reject enters the ring, Orion charges at Reject...NO! Reject counters with a drop toe hold, followed by a Rolling Thunder. Orion recovers, he goes for a standing superkick, but Reject reverses it into a step - over spinning heel kick. He covers...ONE...TWO...THRE...NO!

 

The Crooked Ref interupts the count. He grabs the official referee and tosses him out of the ring. An angry Reject chases The Crooked Ref outside of the ringside area. Reject enters the ring, while The Crooked Ref runs over to the Announcer's Area...he grabs the F13 Championship Belt.

 

The Crooked Ref sneaks back into the ring and charges into Reject...NO! The Belt Shot is blocked by BPP, he hits The Crooked Ref knocking him out of the ring. BPP then cracks Orion between the eyes with the Belt, sending him to the mat. Reject heads up to the top rope...FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! Reject allows BPP to cover. ONE...TWO...THREE!

 

JR: By Gawd, BPP finally got a win over that damn Orion

 

Jesse: He doesn't seem too injured though...

 

JR: He's a hoss dammit!

 

Jesse: I don't know JR...I have a sneaking suspicion about that one.

----

Shooter Jay Promo

Michael Cole: I'm in the back with "Shooter" Jay Darring- Jay, how does it feel to take the fight to one of OAOAST's top stars, Puerto Rican Lightning, and nearly take his prized Puerto Rican title away from him?

 

ShooterJay: Michael, I've been waiting for this moment my entire life, and not to be cliche, it was everything I'd dreamt about and more. When I heard the crowd chant "Let's Go Jay! Let's Go Jay!" it was the first time I had felt pure joy in a very long while. A very good friend of mine once told me, "Jay, one day you'll see your name up in lights," and now that moment has arrived, and it's exhilarating beyond belief.

However, Michael, I also remember the words of my trainers- "your best is never good enough"- if it had been, there'd be Puerto Rican gold slung over my shoulder right now. PRL, you better look over your shoulder, because I'm still gunning for you, and next time I'll make damn sure your little bitch Boricua won't be a factor.

 

Cole: Well, tonight Jay, you've got Undisputed Christian James, a very tough competitor who's also been on a hot streak as of late.

 

Jay: MC, I've had the VCR humming all week long studying this guy, he's a very tough opponent and I have a tremendous amount of respect for him and his abilities. The one problem I do have with him is that he runs around here claiming he's OAOAST's undisputed breakout superstar, and tonight, I'm going to prove him wrong. Christian James, you have nothing in your arsenal that can put me down, and after tonight's match you're going to have to look in the mirror and deal with the harsh reality that as an athlete and a wrestler, you're just not as good as OAOAST's mainstream superstar, Shooter Jay Darring.

 

Cole: Back to you JR and Jesse.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

ShooterJay

vs.

Undisputed

 

JR: Strong words from both combatants, let's head to the ring.

 

Ring announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit! Introducing first, from Boston Massachusetts, weighing in at 173 pounds, "Shooter" Jay Darring!

 

*Arena darkens, and as Lostprophets' "The Fake Sound of Progress" blares and navy blue spotlights flash, Shooter Jay Darring enters the arena, with a big smile on his face and slapping hands with the fans*

 

JR: Listen to this crowd! They're showing their appreciation for Jay's tremendous effort last week against Puerto Rican Lightning!

 

Jesse: He was lucky JR! PRL was caught by surprise!

 

His opponent, from Dodge City, Kansas, weighing in at 176 pounds, "Undisputed" Christian James!

 

*"Red" by Treble Charger fires up, and Undisputed walks out to a large pop, also high-fiving the fans as he enters the ring.

 

JR: Here's someone who's also had problems with PRL and his contingent in recent weeks. You know what, I think Puerto Rican Lightning is scared of Undisputed!

 

Jesse: Ha, thats a laugh.

 

JR: Both men have something to prove tonight- each claim that he is the next breakout superstar in OAOAST. Who will back up those words tonight? We'll find out, only on IntenseZone!

 

Both men stare each other down, and lock up.

 

JR: Looks like we’re heading straight to the mat.

 

Jay looks for a double leg takedown, reversed into a half nelson. Jay counters that with a Fujiwara armbar, Undisputed counters with a judo takedown. Jay works toward a cross armbreaker, but Undisputed keeps his arm bent and rolls Jay up-1,2 kickout.- both men are on their feet.

 

Crowd is ROARING in approval.

 

Jesse: And we have a standoff!

 

JR: The crowd is loving this display of counter-wrestling, what skill! Both men are very evenly matched.

 

Jesse: Neither could pin the other,that means they both suck!

 

Jay and Undisputed start trading swinging away at each other, trading chops and punches. Jay ducks a clothesline and hits a roaring elbow- Undisputed goes down!

 

Jay: “Who’s the man?” -*cheering*

 

Undisputed shoulderblocks Jay into the ropes, hits a bulldog and follows up with a Mafia Kick.

 

Undisputed: “Now who’s the man?” cheering

 

Jesse: Rule number one- never turn your back on an opponent!

 

Undisputed whips Jay into the ropes, Jay ducks a spinkick and hits a leg lariat! Undisputed bails to the outside.

 

JR: He’s signaling for the Reckless Endangerment! Jay runs the ropes, springboard- NOBODY HOME! Jay crashes back-first on the unforgiving concrete! BY GAWD HE MIGHT BE CRIPPLED!

 

Undisputed throws Jay into the ring, climbs the turnbuckles, and hits a frog splash to the back!

 

1, 2,……NO!

 

JR: How did he kick out of that, it’s a miracle!

 

Undisputed tries for a cover again- 1,2, kickout

 

Jesse: Smart move by Undisputed, keep the pressure on.

 

Undisputed whips Jay into the ropes, and hits a tilt-a-whirl slam!

 

Jesse: Putting even more pressure on Jay’s surely injured back! Way to go Undisputed!

 

Cover!….1, 2….2 9/10!

 

JR: How does Jay keep kicking out?

 

Undisputed looks to finish off Jay with an Asai moonsault, springs off- he hits knees! Jay pulls himself up and nails Undisputed with a STIFF~! Superkick!

 

JR: That was a knockout shot!

 

Jesse: He took his freaking head off!

 

Jay slowly crawls over- 1….2….NEARFALL!

 

Jay signals for the second rope tumbleweed, -he runs to the corner springs off- but Undisputed is up! He catches Jay and nails the Capture Suplex!

 

JR: Jay is screaming in pain!

 

Undisputed tries another cover- 1,2, NO!

 

Undisputed picks him right up- DDT! 1,2, NO!

 

JR: Undisputed personifying ruthless aggression right now!

 

Undisputed, frustrated, heads to the top again! 450 Splash-MISSES! Jay hits the Shining Black!

 

JR: What a move! He may have him here! 1,2, and NO! Undisputed still has gas in the tank. Undisputed slowly getting up- Foreshadow! That’s one of his signature moves! Cover, 1,2, and…I can’t believe it, he kicks out again!

 

Jay goes for the reverse tornado DDT, but Undisputed shrugs him off. Undisputed on the ropes- the Final Round hit the referee! He’s out!

 

Jay ducks a clothesline, and hits the Afterthought!

 

JR: He’s got the cover! The ref isn’t getting up!

 

Jesse: You could count to twenty!

 

JR: The referee is stirring- 1…..2…..KICKOUT! Undisputed is still in this match!

 

Jesse: Jay is clearly getting frustrated- stop whining!

 

JR: Jay heading to the top, looking for an elbowdrop maybe. Undisputed cuts him off- A SUPER CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL! BY GAWD, NO WAY CAN HE KICK OUT OF THAT! 1,2, -JAY’S FOOT IS ON THE ROPE!

 

Jesse: Once again Jay gets lucky.

 

Undisputed, visibly agitated, pulls Jay to the center of the ring and slaps on the Sharpshooter!

 

Jesse: There’s no way his back can take the pain!

 

JR: JAY IS SCREAMING IN PAIN! UNDISPUTED IS CRANKING BACK ON THE SHARPSHOOTER!

 

Jay crawling, reaching, fighting against the pressure…almost there…he makes the ropes!

 

JR: BY GAWD, WHAT INTESTINAL FORTITUDE ON DISPLAY IN THE MATCHUP! UNDISPUTED CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Undisputed hooks him up, looking for a fisherman’s suplex, a move that won the late Curt Hennig many matches- NO! JAY REVERSES! HE TAKES HIM DOWN AND LOCKS IN THE HARSH REALITY!

 

Jesse: He’s gotta tap! Look at the pain on his face!

 

DING DING DING!

 

Jesse: What happened? Did he tap?

 

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the15-minute time limit has expired. This match is a draw?

 

Jesse: A draw!? Aw, I wanted them to kill each other more.

 

JR: What a tremendous back and forth match we just witnessed on IntenseZone!

 

Jay and Undisputed get up, disappointment on both their faces.

 

JR: What’s this, Jay is offering a handshake to Undisputed!

 

Undisputed at Jay’s hand for a minute, and accepts! Jay and Undisputed shake hands and raise each other’s arms, as the crowd roars in approval!

 

JR: What an honorable display by these two amazing competitors.

 

Jesse: Bah, sportsmanship- what a crock!

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Cut to the entrance of the arena, where EVENFLOW DDT is making his entrance! The fans jeers are heard in the backstage area as 'Flow makes his way down the hallway, acting as if he's got not a care in the world. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, Evenflow gets SPEARED OUT OF HIS BOOTS! Zack Malibu is on the attack!

 

Security and backstage personell are on the scene immediately, prying the champion off his rival.

 

ZM:"C'mon Evenflow! You gonna hide behind a mask forever!"

 

EvenflowDDT gets up, and brushes himself off.

 

EFDDT:"I'm not the one behind a mask, Zack. YOU'RE the one who's got a face that's not real. You're a fraud and you know it."

 

ZM:"Sonofa..."

 

Zack tries to break free, but everyone holds him back, trying to calm him down. Alison stands by, trying to talk to Zack as well. Evenflow walks by her.

 

EFDDT:"Hey Alison."

 

EvenflowDDT smirks, and turns to walk away. Alison looks on with disgust, while Zack scowls, still attempting to break free.

 

JR: Back to the ring for our regularly scheduled promo!

 

:: Cue 'Theme from 2001' as Andrew Hyland makes his way to the ring ::

 

You know, I've been thinking about this PR Lighting character. And I've come to a conclusion. He's got very, very low self esteem. I mean, think about it for a second.

 

He can't win a title of his own, so he goes out and creates one. And he never really defends it either. Who do you think you are, Triple H?

 

Next, he hires some extra from West Side Story, named Mr. Borricua. I'd say something about him, but I'm afraid if I do, the feds'll realize his green card expired a year ago, and I wouldn't want the poor guy to be deported.

 

So, he can't win a title, or pick a fight one on one. Not quite content to leave it at that, he goes out to the redlight district, and finds the only person who'd ever be impressed by that tin foil belt, Ms. Lindsay Gonzoles. Tell you what, Lindsay, why don't you come with me. after all, I'm a REAL champion, and I can pay you more than $2 for your services.

 

But, all that aside, I have to hand it to the man. He's got talent. Not MUCH, but some. And he seems to be growing a spine, as he's challenged me for my North American title. I accept, Lightining. And after I beat you, your beloved Puerto Rico will finally have a hero they can look up to..Me.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Evenflow's Open Challenge Match

 

Evenflow's in the ring when we come back from break, and he's running the ropes, ready to see who answers his Open Challenge Match!

 

::Bring me to Life:: and the arena erupts...It's...

 

It's...

 

Mini-Zack!

 

Evenflow laughs out loud as the midget wrestler comes running *if you call it running* into the ring.

 

Eeeeeeee!

 

The midget spears evenflow...who goes down for a 1...2...bridgeout and quickly evenflow picks up the midget...and there's a very scary Planted EvenflowDDT... 1...2...3!!

 

Evenflow laughs and rolls on the mat in glee as the crowd boos. EvenflowDDT gets up, grinning cockily and playing to the crowd after his win. As he gets his hand raised by the referee, he turns to the aisle, to see ZACK MALIBU coming down. Zack's weilding a microphone, and is immediately cut off by security who run out to block the aisle.

 

ZM:"Guys...GUYS! Get out of my way, I'm just going to talk to him."

 

Reluctantly, security parts. Evenflow yells at them to keep Zack back, but it's too late. The champion makes his way up the steps, and into the ring.

 

ZM:"You know 'Flow, we're 6 days away from one of the biggest nights in OAOAST history. See, we're gonna be in Providence, RI on Sunday night. You remember Providence, don't you?

 

EvenflowDDT mumbles "Yeah...home."

 

ZM:"That's right, it's my home. And there was a time when us going there meant all night parties, a welcoming commitee of beautiful women...hell, anything we wanted. This time it's different though. This time I'm not going to party. Because I have to face someone who thinks he's got everything to gain and nothing to lose. See, you got greedy, Evenflow. You can run me down, talk behind my back, call me out, it doesn't matter. On Sunday, you get your shot. All you had to do is be a man and ask, but you couldn't. You had to take the shortcut, didn't you?"

 

Evenflow paces the ring, getting frustrated by what Zack is saying.

 

ZM:"I wasn't looking forward to Sunday night, Evenflow. When that match was signed, I'll admit, I got scared. I didn't want to have to go home, in front of my people, and fight my friend. But then a revelation came to me...call it a sign, a message from above...but it came to me. It came to me 2 weeks ago when you shoved Alison down. It came again last week when you threw on your mask and hit me with the EvenflowDDT. See, maybe it was just blindness, maybe it was my own hoping...hell, maybe I just needed to get dropped on my head to realize it..."

 

Evenflow swipes the mic from Zack.

 

EFDDT:"Enough with the drama, Zack! What's your "revelation"...oooh, this oughtta be good!"

 

Evenflow hands the mic to Zack, and turns his head to mock the crowd.

 

ZM:"You're not my friend."

 

Evenflow's jaw DROPS, and he turns to Zack, and get NAILED by a punch! Zack calls him on, but security slides into the ring to pull Zack back. Zack yells for Evenflow to get up, as 'Flow is stunned!

 

Jesse:"Zack Malibu has snapped, JR!"

 

JR:"Snapped my ass. That kid's gone through hell and back because of EvenflowDDT. I woulda knocked him on his ass myself if he kept this up!"

 

Security finally manages to get Zack out of the ring, while Evenflow gets up. He grabs the mic.

 

EFDDT:"Hehe, that caught me by surprise, I'll admit it. Sucker punches always do. Just don't lose focus Zack. I know I'm not."

 

Evenflow looks out at Zack, who is still trying to rush the ring, but is being pulled back by anyone and everyone from backstage. Zack mouths off to Evenflow, as we cut to commercial.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

("Let Me Clear My Throat" by DJ Kool plays as The Mad Cappa comes out to cheers and "Cap-pa" chants! However, instead of dancing out, Cappa walks down to the ring with a serious look on his face! He goes to the middle of the ring with a mic.)

 

The Mad Cappa: "Before I go blabbin' about Lightning Craptacular and his so-called 'challenge', I have to get somethin' off my chest! This past Thursday, when I was channel surfin', I stumbled onto the B show, you know it as HeldDown! Right before I snoozed off into la la land, I saw this has been who has been tryin' to make a comeback on my TV screen bitchin' about this and about that! Hey, I would've been cool all about this, but he had to open his mouth about me! He said 'who in the hell is The Mad Cappa?! Well, just in case he is watchin', I am the next breakout star of this joint and I'm here on Intense Zone where I'm not goin' to be held down by some stars of the old! Now, enough of that! Lightning, I accept your stinkin' challenge and I got a good idea of who to ask for as my partners! So you get the people you conned as your partners and it is on! As for last week, I thought it was a good trick with the hospital footage being played and then I come out to BUST A CAP on you! Ha! On to other business, Shooter Jay, I was told that we got ourselves a number one contenders match for a North American title shot on Living Anglelously! After watching your match last week, all I've got to say is may the best man win! Let's the blow the roof off this Sunday! However, what I don't want is interference! Vince Rusco, I'm lookin' at you! If you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I'm gonna..."

 

(Vince Rusco walks out to the set with a mic and interrupts.)

 

Vince Rusco: "And do what Crappa? And do what? Beat me up? Oh, so original! Make fun of me? That's so childish! If anything, the only thing you should do is leave! Go home! You've already done embarrasin' yourself!"

 

TMC: "Rusco, practice what you preach brotha! You need to leave! Don't you feel stupid just hangin' around a bunch of people who make money around here? You ain't nothin' but a bum! Now turn this shit off before anythin' stupid happens!"

 

(Commercial break hits.)

 

 

We open on a hand pulling a kneepad into place. We pull out to see Spider Poet, adjusting his final pad as he finishes suiting up for the night. We pull out further to see Black Widow standing behind him, a frown across her pixie-like features as she watches him. She bites her lower lip as if waiting for something, indeed as if hoping for something.

 

"I don't know," SP says, finally looking back over his shoulder at her.

 

"You don't know if you're mad at me?"

 

"I don't know what I'm going to do about it." He hauls himself to his feet and turns to her. "Make no mistake: I'm pissed. I'd like to plant a chair in that litle bitch's skull right now. There's alot of things I'd like to do to alot of people right now, including you." He reaches over to his locker and pulls a shiny Tag Title Belt out, and sets to strapping it around his waist. "And what the hell was up with you and Dandy, huh? I saw the footage. Trying to get under his skin, maybe turn him against me?"

 

Widow shakes her head, agitated. "No! You know it isn't like that, James. I just . . . just wanted someone to vent to, you know?"

 

Poet, snapping the buttons into place awkwardly, reaching behind himself, looks at her with a sneer. "Don't call me James. You can vent to me. But I'm warning you, if you EVER betray me, if you EVER go behind my back . . . " He doesn't finish the sentence, aware of the camera behind him. He finishes snapping the belt into place and goes to leave.

 

"Why don't you ever tell me I'm pretty?"

 

Poet pauses in the doorway, caught off guard. He seems to mull over it for a moment and then . . . he leaves. Widow drops her head as we fade out.

----

Caboose Unconfidential Promo

 

::Sometime in April 2002.

 

AnglePlex steps into an office. There is little light and there is only a desk, two chairs and a filing cabinet which is labeled 'OAOAST Profiles'. On the desk are two trays, one labeled 'In' and the other 'Out'. The 'In' tray has decidely more items in it. Behind the desk sits a well-built man with his back to the camera.

 

Man: Have a seat AP.

 

AnglePlex: What did you want to see me for boss?

 

Man: Well AP, theres two main things.

 

AnglePlex: Well?

 

Man: Firstly, let me congratulate you on your help in the OAOAST, the website, your ideas and everything you've done.

 

AnglePlex: Thanks, what was the other thing?

 

Man: This week I'm going to need you to job.

 

AnglePlex: But I didn't even have a match at AngleMania, I think I'm owed something?

 

Man: Calm down and don't worry, we are going to use you simply to spring board someone, and after that, you are in for a huge push. I'm talking all the way to the moon baby!

 

AnglePlex: Okay, but don't screw me man, we go way back.

 

Man: Would I?

 

AnglePlex looks apprehensive.

 

Man: Thanks for coming in AP, remember to the moon!

 

AnglePlex leaves the office.

 

Man: To the moon? Bwahahahahahahahahaha!...

 

Fade To Black.

 

Whatever happened to AnglePlex's push? Why is he no longer with the OAOAST and why was he promised the push when it would never materialize?

Was there a conspiracy to screw AnglePlex over from day one?

 

OAOAST Confidential: Behind The Violence...

 

...Because some truths are TOO great to be kept secret...::

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Puerto Rican Lightning and Los Infernales

vs.

The Mad Cappa and the Mystery Weirdness Connection

 

LET ME CLEAR BY THROAT by DJ Kool hits, and it's Main Event time. The Mad Cappa emerges from behind the curtain, dancing and playing to the crowd, who chant, "GO CAPP-A, GO CAPP-A!" at him. After a moment of this, he stops at the edge of the top of the ramp and looks back.

 

ICE ICE BABY hits, and Mystery Ekimo joins Cappa on the stage, emerging through a huge white wall of pyro. The music fades into VERDI'S REQUIEM to signal the arrival of the monster, JINGUS. The three men make their way down to the ring to a chorus of cheers, which the MWC seem to not be all that completely used to.

 

Lightning hits the stage and BULLS ON PARADE and Puerto Rican Lightning emerges through a curtain of smoke to much displeasure from the crowd. Mr. Boricura and Lindsay Gonzales are close behind, and the three make it halfway down the ramp before stopping and talking trash towards Cappa and the Connection, who are waiting in the ring.

 

BREEEAAK

 

LOS INFERNALES emerge from behind the curtain, sneering as they pat the Tag Team Titles which are around their waists. Black Widow close behind, the Champions join up with PRL and his posse and they make their way to ringside, Poet and PRL talking trash to the booing fans as they go, while El Dandy gives deadly glares.

 

JR: Fans, tonight's IntenseZONE is brought to you by The OAOAST IntenseWEAR, our online store!

Jesse: And by LIVING ANGLEOUSLY, LIVE this SUNDAY on PAY-PER-VIEW.

JR: You seem to enjoy doing that.

Jesse: I'd really enjoy a good drink.

 

The two teams have settled in now, and it looks like it's going to be PRL and Mystery Eskimo to start things off. The two circle the ring, sizing one another up. PRL surges forward and dives, but Eskimo scouts it and gets out of the way. PRL is up and locks up with Eskimo, who is quick to spin out of it and lock him from behind but PRL elbows out and in turn locks Eskimo up. He goes for a German Suplex but Eskimo hooks his leg to prevent, and elbows out, turns and lands a quick right hand. Right, right, right, whips PRL into the ropes -- DROPKICK to PRL! Eskimo pulls PRL to his feet, but PRL lands some forearms to the ribs to get out of it, and fires Eskimo off to the ropes. Eskimo on the return, ducks a PRL clothesline, PRL drops as Eskimo comes back on the run and pops up with a DROPKICK of his own!

 

Eskimo down and PRL takes the opportunity to TAG SPIDERPOET! Poet leaps to the top rope as Eskimo gets to his teet, going for a flying clothesline -- ESKIMO SNAGS HIM and they're down to the mat, Eskimo trying to lock in FROSTBITE FACELOCK but Poet scrambles and finds the ropes. Eskimo lets go, aggravated, and gets to his feet. Eskimo paces a circle while Poet gets to his feet, and Poet apparently thinks Eskimo isn't paying attention as he tries for a SPIDAHKICK as soon as Eskimo turns back towards him. ESKIMO CATCHES and whirls SP around, kick to the gut DDT~! COVER!

 

1 . . .

 

KICKOUT by SP, but he wraps an arm around Eskimo's neck and ROLLS HIM OVER FOR A SMALL PACKAGE!

 

1 - KICKOUT and both men to their feet. SP charges - ARM DRAG to SP who is back to his feet and charges again, ducks a clothesline from Eskimo, hits the ropes, ducks the clothesline again -- NECKBREAKER to ESKIMO! SP turns and drops a leg, pops up, drops another, and starts stomping on Eskimo's head/neck area viciously until the ref gets in and pulls him away. SP backs off for a minute, but returns to the stomps a moment later, getting in two good ones before going to pull Eskimo to his feet. Eskimo, a little weary, is fired off to the ropes, but catches SP by surprise with a FLYING FOREARM and a HOT TAG TO JINGUS!

 

SP gets to his feet and turns right into the Big Man, who immediately has his hand around SP's neck -- CHOKESLAM! SP scrambles to his feet and turns into a CLOTHESLINE! SP is up - CLOTHESLINED AGAIN. ONE MORE TIME, and SP crabwalks away until he can get to his feet. JINGUS is right behind him, and before SP can tag out, he snatches a head full of hair and yanks him back, picks him up for a BODY PRESS and he drops SP face first to the mat. COVER

 

1 . . .

 

2 . . .

 

KICKOUT, and SP rolls away as Jingus gets up, and tags in El Dandy, who is waiting on the second rope. Jingus is on the way and Dandy leaps from the top turnbuckle, but JINGUS catches him with a hand. Big Man goes for the Chokeslam, but Dandy wraps his arms around Jingus's arm on the way up! The sudden weight drags Jingus down to one knee, and Dandy holds on tight, despite the back bump as Jingus goes down, wrenching the Devilman's arm as hard as he can. Finally, Jingus slams Dandy in the ribs with his free fist, and Dandy lets go. Before Jingus can get up, though Dandy comes running in SHINING WIZARD~! but it doesn't knock Jingus down. The monster leans back, rattled by the kick but stays planted on one knee. Dandy kicks the knee he's propped on out from under him though, and puts in the boots hard, enough that as soon as Jingus hits his back, Dandy goes for the same arm again for an ARMBAR!

 

MAD CAPPA bursts through the ropes and is running to kick El Dandy off, but PRL is in with a CLOTHESLINE! The ref turns his attention to this sudden battle just before JINGUS reaches the ropes! But he doesn't see and DANDY HOLDS ON! PRL and Cappa are up and exchanging punches now, and the Ref is trying to break it up. SP gets in and starts stomping away in Jingus! MYSTERY ESKIMO comes flying into the ring and catches Poet off guard, SLINGS HIM OUT OF THE RING~! and STOMPS on DANDY to break the hold before heading back to his corner! Dandy cuts loose and rolls away as the Ref finally seperates PRL and Cappa and sends them back to their corners. Dandy is on his feet and is seemingly waiting for Jingus to pull himself up. Dandy bolts in the opposite directions, slings himself off the ropes and is heading back towards JINGUS at FULL SPEED but JINGUS CATCHES HIM -- NECK HANGING TREE SLAM!

 

Dandy is HURT and Jingus rolls away, nursing his arm. Both men struggle for the corners, Eskimo and Cappa stomping their feet while Poet and PRL scream to Dandy. DOUBLE TAG and PRL LIGHTNING and MAD CAPPA are IN and on a COLLISION COURSE.

 

They meet in the center of the ring and start exchanging HARSH punches before Cappa takes control with a quick DDT! He goes for the cover but PRL kicks out and they're both up again, this time Cappa is quick to whip PRL into the ropes but PRL leaps, rebounds back off the top rope, twists and KICKS CAPPA IN THE FACE! Cappa goes down but gets back his feet again before PRL can get over to him, and the two lock up, powering back and forth, energy seemingly crackling between them. Finally Cappa finds some wind and he powers PRL into the nearby neutral corner. The two struggle there until the ref pulls them apart, and that's when PRL lands a cheap uppercut. Cappa bumps and PRL leaps back to the second rope. He leaps for a LEGDROP but nobody's home as Cappa rolls away. PRL lands on his arse and the impact stuns him, and he sits upright with a look of pain. Cappa capitalizes with a DROPKICK to PRL's face!

 

Cappa grabs PRL's ankle and drags him away from the ropes, but before he can lock in anything, PRL kicks him in the jaw with his free foot, and Cappa bumps again, stunned. PRL runs, hops over him, and leaps to the rop rope - MONSAULT! PRL hooks Cappa's leg for the COVER

 

1 . . .

 

2 . . .

 

KICKOUT! Agitated, PRL pulls Cappa up to his knees, but then DROPS A KNEE to the BACK OF CAPPA'S NECK! PRL gets up and starts kicking Cappa's ribs, before pulling him up. PRL whips Cappa to off to the ropes -- BELLY TOO BELLY ON CAPPA! PRL Covers again

 

1 . . .

 

2 . . .

 

KICKOUT! Cappa gets to his feet and comes charging for a clothesline, but PRL ducks. Cappa puts on the breaks, and whirls around SPINKICK but PRL ducks it, locks up CAPPA from behind GERMAN SUPLEX~! PRL holds on and goes for another, but Cappa has sense enough to block it. Cappa elbows out, spins - X-FACTOR TO PRL! Cappa is on it, and runs over, picks up PRL's legs as he tries to roll away for the WALLS OF CAPPA! PRL'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING AND HAS NOWHERE TO GO! The crowd is going nuts as Cappa rears back on it! PRL is screaming in pain, one hand raised above the mat, trying hard not to tap. Cappa rears back a little more and it looks like PRL is bringing his hand down to tap - SPIDERPOET CLOTHESLINES CAPPA OUT OF HIS BOOTS TO BREAK THE HOLD! The Ref is all over Spider Poet, telling him to get back to his corner, and SP begins backing towards it while Cappa circles back around to try and lock in the WALLS again. As he gets to his corner, SP looks at Jingus and slaps his arm and talks some trash and begins charging back towards the other corner. JINGUS, pissed off at the remarks about his arm troubles, comes through the ropes. SP backs towards his corner and points Jingus out to the ref as he goes back to the apron. The ref confronts Jingus, who is debating on whether to go after Poet or not.

 

Cappa grabs PRL's legs, but PRL turns and kicks Cappa back towards his corner, where SPIDERPOET IS BACK IN, he HOOKS CAPPA IN A FULL NELSON! PRL gets to his feet, sees the Ref occupied with JINGUS trying to get through the ref now that Spidey is back in. PRL, seeing the chance, hops over for a SWEET CHIN MUSIC, but CAPPA BREAKS FREE AND SP GETS NAILED WITH IT! Spidey got all of it and goes flailing back over the top rope, taking EL DANDY with him! PRL whirls around where Cappa is waiting - BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! The Stunner sends PRL flying up and onto his back, and Cappa makes the quick cover!

 

1 . . .

 

2 . . .

 

THREE!

 

Winners: The Mad Cappa and the Mystery Weirdness Connection at 8:03 via Bust A Cap

 

PRL is stunned as Cappa gets to his feet while his music hits. The ref holds his hand up while Jingus and Eskimo come in with him. SPIDERPOET and EL DANDY, however, are none too happy, and they come sliding in, looking for a fight. Dandy DRILLS Eskimo with a Spear, and SP comes off the top rope with a PRECISION DROPKICK to the hurt ARM OF JINGUS! On the other side of the ring, Lindsay Gonzales and Black Widow have Mad Cappa's attention while they seductively appear to be stripping. SpiderPoet sees it and runs over, berating Widow. He yells something at her and points to the outside, telling her to get the hell out. Cappa whirls him around and Poet wants none of it, slinging Cappa up into the air for a tildeBANG~!

 

Before the Infernales can attempt any further damage, however, IOU HITS THE RING! Poet and Dandy see their challengers for LIVING ANGLEOUSLY and bail, snatching their belts on the way out. PRL meets them on the outside with Lindsay and Boricura, and they back their way up the ramp, as Widow runs to meet them, hurling insults at the faces in the ring. On the stage behind them, VINCE RUSCO steps out, laughing and point towards Cappa in the ring. PRL points and laughs as well at Cappa, who has recovered and is looking at the men as they retreat, Los Infernales holding their tag belts up, sneering at IOU.

 

::Fade Out::

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Special Thanks to:

 

The Dames, SpiderPoet, ShooterJay, Mad Cappa, Jingus, the I.O.U, Caboose (I love you!), Zack Malibu, The Mad Cappa, Deranged Hermit, Orion, Reject, and Blurricane