Greatest TLC match ever occured last night!

[Guest chickiesinger]

"Greatest TLC match ever occured last night!"

 

Dear Wrestling Fans,

 

I would like to give a report on the pro wrestling match I went to last night. I know your going to question the creditability of this story so I’m going to give a link that proves this is a true story. Go to http://www.kcwzone.com Did anyone go to it? If you didn’t go you missed something very ground breaking in American pro wrestling. I gave you plenty of notice to go to this great event so if you didn’t go you made a huge mistake by not listening to the Chickie Singer. What makes me sick to my stomach is none of the so-called Internet reporters have given any new coverage to this earth shattering event. The event was called the Michelle Bear Benefit Card or a 1,000 years in the making, as I like to call it. The event featured a Keystone Championship World Title Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match between hometown hero Mercury Flash (Challenger) VS Sebastin (Champion). The match was by far the greatest match in pro wrestling history. The men involved put on a match that was much better than any WWE TLC match. I’ll give some reasons why this is so impressive.

 

1. Usually in TLC matches there are between 6 and 8 men involved in the match. This match only showcased 2 wrestlers and they literally tore down the Meyersdale Community for their pure athleticism. Can you picture any two wrestlers from WWE tearing down the house for a world title TLC match? I don’t think so! Maybe Ring of Honor put that remains to be seen.

 

2. The match not only showcased insane table and ladder bumps but also excellent pure wrestling. The ring psychology was just awesome because they didn’t go to the ladder and table spots right away. Mercury and Sebastin exchanged complex spots at the beginning not even using the ladders and tables. It wasn’t until the fans started chanting for the props that the wrestlers began to use them. Shows great ring sense by both men to be able to adopt to what the crowd wants in a marquee match.

 

3. Sebastin and Mercury Flash have only been wrestling for a few years now, which makes you think how good these young wrestlers can be after having a few more years of wrestling experience?

 

4. Mercury Flash was wrestling for the world title in his home town, which added a ton of drama to the

wrestling match!

 

Now I’m going to list the top ten spots that occurred during the Mercury Flash VS Sebastin TLC match.

 

1. Running catapult cannonball by Mercury Flash off a inclined ladder that was up against the ropes. Mercury hit the cannonball on Sebastin has his back was lying on the ground, which was a basketball court with NO padding or security rail.

 

2. A triple jump splash onto the ladder by Sebastin(first ran up the middle rope, than top rope, than jumped on the ladder that was inclined on the ropes located in the center of the ring). Sebastin’s splash caused the ladder to hit Mercury Flash right in the face. The entire crowd went awwwe as soon as this occurred than dead silence followed soon afterwards because the crowd thought Mercury Flash was dead. You could have heard a pin drop when this occurred.

 

3. A splash off the top rope by Sebastin onto Mercury Flash who was about 9 feet away from the original location of the dive. Mercury Flash was on a table when he got hit by Sebastin’s splash. The table didn’t break and just bent a little bit from the impact proving the table wasn’t a gimmicked one!

 

4. Sebastin 619’ed a steel chair into Mercury Flash’s skull!

 

5. Sebastin hit a suplex on Mercury Flash. Sebastin was on top of a ladder while Mercury was on the top rope.

 

6. Sebastin did a running standing shooting star press onto Mercury Flash. Much better than John’s

Version(Tough Enough 3 winner).

 

7. Sebastin did a 450 splash off the top rope onto Mercury(it could have been a 900 splash because I

couldn’t tell due to the speed of the move). Blew away John Kronus’s version and 2 Cold Scropio’s version of the move!

 

8. Sebastin did a swanton bomb off the top rope onto Mercury than immediately followed it up with

a missed moonsult off the ladder.

 

9. Sebastin reversed suplexed Mercury Flash on the table bending it even more.

 

10. Sebastin finally put Mercury through the table by doing a nice vertical suplex.

 

 

There are tons of moves that didn’t make the top 10 spots in the match. A poetry in motion spring board off a chair by Mercury sending the ladder into Sebabstin’s skull, a overhead waist lock suplex executed by Sebastin onto Mercury (Doug Furnas can only dream about doing), and a awesome butterfly suplex executed by Mercury Flash onto Sebastin (that was double the speed of Brock Lesnar’s butterfly suplex) were just a sample of the moves these stars of the future did.

 

For those that are curious the match ended when Sebastin did a flying leg cradle pin(RVD uses it a good bit) onto Mercury Flash for the 3 count. I thought they should have ended on one of the higher impact moves put I guess Keystone Championship Wrestling is trying to push Sebastin as a great technical wizard. Mercury Flash and Sebastin than embraced in a hug and hand shake in the center of the ring as the fans gave them a standing ovation. Than top heels Charlie Manson and Big Lenny came in to attack Mercury and Sebastin. Mercury and Sebastin destroyed the heels easily as they went away running like cowards. Mercury Flash than did a interview thanking the fans for coming out and supporting the Michele Bear benefit wrestling card. It was a miracle that Mercury was able to get through the interview because Mercury had a expression on his face similar to Brock Lesnar after Wrestlemania 19. Mercury had some minor problems speaking and apologized for his slurred speak. Mercury than said “I love you guys.”.

 

Only a couple of gripes I have about the match, which really isn’t even the wrestler’s fault!

 

1. Mercury Flash’s valet didn’t sell a chair bump too well. The valet came in the ring with a chair and was standing behind Sebastin. Mercury Flash came running after Sebastin and Sebastin moved out of the way. Mercury throw a right hand and knocked the chair right into the face of his valet. The valet did a Bill Goldberg style selling job by getting right back up, which was very unbelievable considering her measurements are five feet tall weighing 90 pounds soaking wet! The valet was sort of cute if you like the mini girl look. The valet was wearing baggie paints that fell down about 100 times during the match to reveal a g-string! The valet was also playing with her bra throughout the TLC match to draw attention to herself! Darn I’m trying to watch a wrestling match and all I can watch is tits and ass. What the Hell is wrong with me?

 

2. There was great fear the historic Maple City pancake shake would be damaged. The negative consequence that resulted from this was the promoter was not allowed to hang the KCW world title belt from the ceiling of the community center. Thus the rules of TLC was changed to a simple pinfall cover rather than climbing 15 feet to get the title. What a shame!

 

Vince really needs to take a serious look at Mercury Flash and Sebastin. Mercury Flash is about 6’1 235 pounds. Mercury bumps probably better than Jeff Hardy and can fly with the best of them. Mercury also has about 10 years of amateur wrestling experience, which really shows in his ring work.

Sebastin is a younger version of RVD and HBK. Sebastin does a lot of karate moves like are more stiff than RVD and flies better than any cruiser weight on Smackdown, including Rey Jr.

 

There is a ton of other news to report on this show. The infamous superhero Spiderman made his pro wrestling debut last night. Spiderman easily defeated a monster heel with face pain on(sorry didn’t catch the name). WWE should really sign Spiderman to a contract because this is the same guy that drew over 400 million dollars in a major blockbuster movie picture. Just imagine what he could do for WWE. Spiderman was making the most money for KCW last night because they were charging 5 bucks a pop for a picture with him in the ring. Spiderman cotton figure were also selling like hot cakes last night.

 

The last highlight I would like to mention was the opening cruiser weight match that look place between the members of Youth Gone Wild. This was a four star match that is a must see match up. Vince should sign these guys to a contract and make them the next Rockers, Rock N’Roll Express, ect.

Keystone Championship Wrestling is worth buying a ticket if these two are on the card that’s for sure! My favorite part of the match was when one of the members took a huge back body drop over the top rope onto the wooden floor. This was followed up by a dive between the top and middle drops that even did more damage to the wounded wrestler. If that wasn’t enough the wrestler than body slammed him on the floor and finished it up with a high cross body onto the wrestler who was standing on the wooden floor. Both men shook each other’s hand and hugged after the thrilling match up.

 

If you missed this great event you can buy it on video because the entire event was filmed for everyone’s viewing pleasure. The video can be purchased on the website I mentioned at the beginning of my excellent commentary. As a added bonus you’ll get to see the Chicke Singer’s pretty face in the background during the two hours of wrestling action. That’s such a great bonus KCW should be paying me royalties for their video sales!

 

I would like to give out Chickie Singer’s awards for this event.

 

The Honor Award: KCW did a 10 bell salute for all the troops that died in Iraqi Freedom. Very touching moment in wrestling history! Any other independent wrestling federation do this?

 

Didn’t think I’d ever see that Award: KCW’s Russian Heel got cheap heat by saying in his pre-match interview “The Meyersdale Red Raiders football team sucks”. I never thought in a trillion years a Russian heel would make fun of our football team. It was a great honor for me that this happened! You have to understand Meyersdale school was so small that I often had study hall as a Senior with 7th graders. Very small school to say the least. I could always vision a heel mentioning the Steelers or Pirates teams to get cheap heat during a wrestling promo but the Red Raiders never crossed my head!

 

Best Foreign Object Award: The Spiderman cotton action figure has to be one of the most dangerous weapons I have ever seen used during a match. Spiderman looked like he was in a lot of pain when he was getting it with the cotton figure!

 

Idiot Award: The country boy fan that sat in the front row just before bell time. The fan yelled at the top of his lungs “look everyone I have a front row seat!”. Ever fan was told by the ticket taker not to sit in this section because it was assigned seating for the wrestler to analyze one another’s matches. It was also pretty dangerous to sit there because that’s where all the table spots and suicide dives took place. The camera was facing that side so that’s why all the spots happened on that side. The Hillbilly fan must have been just a plant to get the fans a nice laugh before show time because no one can be that stupid to do such a thing! Bobby Jo even had to give the guy some lip to change his seating arrangements!

 

Comedy Award: The ring announcer’s sale pitch for the delicious sloppy joe. This ring announcer was really pushing the sloppy joe on the KCW fans! I think he was pushing the Joe to the top of the company. Wouldn’t be surprised if a wrestler named Sloppy Joe debuts for KCW to increase Sloppy Joe sales!

 

The sad part of this great event is less than 200 people saw this wrestling card. The event was poorly advertised and no one had a clue what the matches were going to be. I think this event could have drawn about 1000 people but the marketing plan for the event sucked!

 

The next event occurs this Saturday at the KCW Arena in Altona, Pa. Tough Enough 3’s Jonia will be headlining the event. Even Jonia know this is the place to be!

 

One finally reminder to check out the Mercury Flash VS Sebastin TLC from the Michele Bear Benefit. You can’t call yourself a wrestling fan until you see it. Warning: This match will blow your mind away for many days after watching it! Philly indies watch out because this wrestling league is going to blow you out of the water! Peace out and have a nice day

 

Sincerely,

 

Chickie Singer

[Guest Nevermortal]

My friend, you are a skilled comedian.

 

Keep on truckin', chickiesinger.

[Guest bob_barron]

Isn't this a previously banned poster??

[Guest Sandman9000]

The infamous superhero Spiderman made his pro wrestling debut last night. Spiderman easily defeated a monster heel with face pain on(sorry didn’t catch the name). WWE should really sign Spiderman to a contract because this is the same guy that drew over 400 million dollars in a major blockbuster movie picture. Just imagine what he could do for WWE. Spiderman was making the most money for KCW last night because they were charging 5 bucks a pop for a picture with him in the ring. Spiderman cotton figure were also selling like hot cakes last night.

When did Ric Blade start wrestling for you guys?

[Guest chickiesinger]

Who is Ric Blade?

[Guest ShooterJay]

Ric Blade- spot blowing highflyer from CZW, notorious for injuring others with his blown spots, and swantoning off really high things.

 

The Spiderman joke is because between stints in CZW (after quitting the company) he dressed up as Spiderman for the PWF and shot silly string webbing all over the place.

[LucharesuFan619 0]

Ric Blade- spot blowing highflyer from CZW, notorious for injuring others with his blown spots, and swantoning off really high things.

 

The Spiderman joke is because between stints in CZW (after quitting the company) he dressed up as Spiderman for the PWF and shot silly string webbing all over the place.

Horrible worker. Great athlete.

[Guest DrTom]

Indeed it was, Bob.