Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted May 2, 2003 We start the show with WWW Boss Vince Russo sitting down, but unfortunately, Linda McMahon shows up for some reason to announce that Russo's gonna be co-commissioner with Sgt. Slaughter. Feel the flow daddio! Iraqi propaganda footage shows. "COMING TONIGHT, MR. IRAQ!" Los Guerreros show up. Meanwhile, Sable and Al Wilson have their own fun. Sable and Al Wilson defeated Nidia and Jaime Knoble when Wilson made Nidia submit to an airplane spin in 0:01:47. Rating: 3/4* After the match, WWW Chief of Staff Guy with No Name announces a 9 man shoot tournament for a shot at Al Wilson's shoot title. All four of the matches will feature people who are legitimately angry with the other guy due to backstage things that we love. Nathan Jones pinned Raven after a series of punches in 0:02:30. Rating: DUD Unfortuately, the mix of punches, and milk from Jones lactating nipple, beat Raven into the ground. Los Guerreros mug a man and beat him senseless, because they're Mexican and they lie, cheat and steal. And then the FBI does Italianish stuff. Handicap-Match: The Undertaker defeated The FBI (Chuck Palumbo, Johnny Stamboli and Nunzio) when Undertaker pinned Stamboli with the Last Ride in 0:00:43. Rating: 3/4* After the match, new FBI member Billy "Machine" Gunn runs out and attacks the Undertaker. Undertaker beats him senseless, but then the FBI storms out and arrests the Undertaker for the murder of his parents and terrorism. Undertaker is hauled off. Los Guerreros are donating sperm, but being lying, cheating and stealing mexicans, they steal the magazines and then lie about donating by putting mayo in the vial. Those crazy Guerreros! Meanwhile, Torrie celebrates her time exposing her beaver. But then a former WWE star comes up and announces that he was in playboy, yes.. it's Mantaur! Mantaur pinned Torrie Wilson with the Stampede in 0:06:13. Rating: -** 3/4 Needless to say, the bull-on-babe action didn't sell. COMING TONIGHT! MR. IRAQ! WWW figurehead looks into the lockerroom and is stunned, she murmurs "Why doesn't he have pants on?" Teddy Long has a statement "Hollah at me playah, This is da White Boy Challenge. Now let me tell you this playah, we got Glacier in the ring, and how come snow is always white and never black? because Whitey doesn't want the black man to have his snow. Whitey uses snow to stiffle us. But Glacier, the fact is, that if you were black, you'd be Ice Train, and I know Ice Train and he is unemployed. Hollah at me playah!" [White Boy Challenge]: Rodney Mack pinned Glacier with the Tiger Driver '91 in 0:02:51. Rating: * 1/4 Glacier is carried off ISSUE: Shane Douglas was held down by the Klique. Diesel pinned Shane Douglas with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:00:47. Rating: 1/4* Needless to say, he didn't have it today. I guess he can be a Dean now. ISSUE: Booker T robbed the Wendys that Craig Pittman works at, 12 days ago. Booker T pinned Craig Pittman with the Bookend in 0:05:28. Rating: * 1/4 ISSUE: Who was the real mind behind the bWo? The Blue Meanie pinned Stevie Richards after a splash in 0:04:07. Rating: DUD ISSUES: Goldberg never fought Jericho. Piper and Jericho hate each other. Goldberg is mad at Piper for his partcipation in cockfights. Triangle Match: Bill Goldberg defeated Chris Jericho and Roddy Piper when Goldberg pinned C. Jericho with the Jackhammer in 0:05:16. Rating: * 1/2 Triple H reveals that Kane hit a boy when he killed Katie Vick, forcing him to lose a leg. More on this in a match. Meanwhile, Los Guerreros cheat on their citizenship tests. A-Train and Big Show shampoo each other in the back of the arena. The A-Train and Big Show defeated Viscera and Hussein Credible when Show pinned Credible with the Choke Slam in 0:02:54. Rating: -* (The A-Train and Big Show won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) After the match, Big Show attempts to pick up Viscera and swing him into the ringpost, but he breaks his back doing so. Mr. America is in the back, with his masked friends Nick America, "Mouth of the America" and Horace America. WHO IS MR. AMERICA? Mr. America pinned Shelton Benjamin after a double thrust to the throat in 0:02:57. Rating: 1/4* COMING TONIGHT: MR. IRAQ! Los Guerreros are confronted by Konnan and Fidel Sierra, who declare that Cubans are much better at lying, cheating and stealing than Mexicans. So a match is on! Los Guerreros defeated The Cuban Guys when E. Guerrero pinned Konnan with the Frog Splash in 0:05:44. Rating: * 3/4 Of course, the guy with a leg is Tenacious Z. Kane defeated Tenacious Z by disqualification in 0:02:50. Rating: -* And the DQ comes after Z hits Kane with his fake leg. Mad Dog Vachon makes the save. And Triple H pumps up for his match. COMING TONIGHT, LIVE ON MICHAEL COLE'S FUNKY METAL BANDSTAND: THE DEBUT OF MR. IRAQ! Norman Smiley dances. Triple H pinned Norman Smiley with the Pedigree in 0:05:36. Rating: ** 3/4 (Triple H retained the WWW Title.) Unfortunately, HHH was able to counter the Big Wiggle with a low blow, followed by a Pedigree. ISSUES: Goldberg got fucked over by Nash. Diesel pinned Bill Goldberg after a sunset flip in 0:07:02. Rating: 3/4* Nash's new found skill could serve him well. ISSUES: None! Four Corners Match: Al Wilson defeated Diesel, The Blue Meanie and Booker T when Wilson pinned Diesel after a flying forearm in 0:00:33. Rating: -* 1/4 (Al Wilson retained the WWW Shoot Title.) Nash's legs come out from under him after Al Wilson lays the Fivearm on him. Al Wilson is still the Shooter. And in the main event.. it's Russo against Kimo The problem is that Russo beat Kimo repeatedly, but the small masked ref refused to end the match, Kimo then won the match Kimo made Vince Russo submit to the Ground and Pound in 0:12:43. Rating: -*** 3/4 (Kimo won the Big Gold Belt.) and the referee was JOE SON! Bam Bam Bigelow runs out and cleans house after the match, unfortunately, he was only brushing the ring with a broom and Kimo beats his ass. And in our main event.. the debut of MR. IRAQ Michael Cole walks out with his kilt on, and then here comes Mr. Iraq, and the fans go wild. Mr. Iraq is a small man in green tights, green boots, with a military outfit and a mask, and he's wearing a baret. Michael Cole objects to this, claiming the man is only Mohammad al-Sahhaf, but Mr. Iraq replies.. "I AM NOT MOHAMMAD AL-SAHHAF, INFIDEL! I WILL FORCE YOU TO DRINK POISON AND SURRENDER TO THE GREAT IRAQI ARMY WHICH IS COMING TO CRUSH MORE AMERICANS" and the fans go wild. Cole talks some, then "YOU ARE JUST LYING, THE AMERICANS NEVER CAME INTO BAGHDAD, THEY TOOK A TOWN IN ARIZONA CALLED BAGHDAD AND THEN STAGED THE STATUE THING!" Then John Ashcroft comes out. "Mr. Al-Sahhaf, you are trying to fool us, right? My god tells me that you will burn big time. Suuuuckkkkkaaaa!!!!!" Al-Sahhaf laughs and releases a calico cat on Ashcroft. Then, more music. IT'S WESLEY WILLIS! "Yo Al-Sahhaf, you're so wack man! you lie all the time. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me." Wesley then plays the keyboard, but he is arrested by the FBI also. But Al-Sahhaf has a closing statement. "What you gonna do, when the 24 inch scuds run wild on you!??? INFIDEL!" Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom Report post Posted May 2, 2003 Gold. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted May 2, 2003 Best. Show. Ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
