Grade School stories

[Guest kingkamala]

Since it seems like every week we have a thread about high school, I decided to start something a tad different. I'll tell some mildly amusing anecdotes later if this thread gets starting.

[Guest HBK16]

Most of my childhood memories come from grade school. Like 7th and 8th grade. I first discovered how amusing weed can be in 7th grade, how much trouble you can get by lighting an entire field on fire then running from the cops, getting head. And probly the worse of all being with my friends older brother, falling asleep in the car and ending up in Las Vegas a few hours later and no one in my family knowing where I was. My mom was pretty pissed off at me but I think more at my friends older brother. They had to buy me an airline ticket so I can fly home. It was pretty scary.

[Guest crandamaniac]

running from the cops, getting head.

I sure hope that's a typo, cuz that just sounds really weird.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

In 3rd grade I played with my penis in the middle of a history lesson because I was bored and was wondering why the fuck it was bigger and harder than usual...

 

In 5th grade I used to play Tremors with my friends Gary and Nathan...it was fun getting up atop the monkey bars because Nathan was/is a huge fatass (I think he weighs 400 lbs. now, or something) and couldn't reach us.

[Guest kingkamala]

Highlights/Lowlights of Grade School:

 

 

Winning a fight(I'll admit barely) with the biggest kid in school( He was about 5'8 or 9 and 230 lbs and was only a 3rd grader. I was 4'11'' and about 85-90 lbs.)

 

 

Seeing an ugly, pudgy chick's shirt get pulled off *shudders*

 

 

Accusing the art teacher of having an affair.

 

Causing the art teacher to have a nervous breakdown(Literally)

 

Giving the principal, assistant principal and various teachers the finger(This was around 97-98 when Austin was just getting big)

 

Dry humping a picture of a handicapped girl in the school mural.

 

Forming a Vanilla Ice rap group called the Termites(This goes under lowlights)

 

Being captain of the schoolyard champion kickball team(Thank you thank you)

 

Inventing my own dance(Also under lowlights)

 

 

Almost stopping an entire school play when I demanded special treatment.

 

 

Eh....there's probably more under there.

[Guest Eagan469]

well, there was that retarded kid in 3rd grade who shit his pants in lunch every day...

[Guest Fook_Hing_Ho]

Dry humping a picture of a handicapped girl in the school mural.

 

Forming a Vanilla Ice rap group called the Termites(This goes under lowlights)

 

So you consider having your own band worse than dry humping a picture of a gimp?

 

You were one fucked up little boy

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Forming a Vanilla Ice rap group called the Termites(This goes under lowlights)

 

Not in my book it doesn't.

[Guest HBK16]

running from the cops, getting head.

I sure hope that's a typo, cuz that just sounds really weird.

HAHA. Two totally diferent events.

 

 

EDIT: Oh and I cant forget my first fight. It was in 6th grade. This kid was new and everyone hated him. We were playing football during lunch. I tackled him and he got mad. I dont blame him since it was touch. So he comes up to me and I tell him I was going to knock him out. We had our little 6th grade words to say to each other and popped him in the face. He swung like 30 times and missed horribly everytime. I hit him like 4 more times. He was all bloddy and before walking away he said "fuck you". It was the coolest since all this blood wasoozing out of his mouth when he said it. I wish I had a picture of it. It was like a movie. We both got suspended.

[Guest Flyboy]

Sexually harassing my 5th grade teacher. Those were the days.

[Guest RepoMan]

All my highlights came in 6th grade when everyone in my class took turns beating up an asshole new kid, winning the geography, and having rock wars everyday on the playground and the ensuing causulties.

[Guest papacita]

I used to stay in fights when I was little. I remember once in third grade I was chasing this girl Tierra (who I've always had a big ass crush on) around the lunch room and this guy Chris tripped me and I fell. I got up, came at him with a Stinger Splash type move (he was sitting at a table) and just started beating the hell outta him. I made the mistake of letting him up, though, and WHOOPED MY ASS! The principal threatened me with suspension because I kept going after him when it was over (I never could accept a loss).

 

Brighter moments for me came in science class that same year, when me and my friend Devon got into it. I won, so the guy Chris tried to jump into it, but my best friend Akeem Washington stopped him and the teacher broke us up. I was the goody two shoes, so I didn't get in trouble, but the others did, and the next day, Chris and Devon were talking about how they were gonna get back at us. Later, Chris and Akeem got into a fight at recess, Devon jumped in it and I ran in for the save, and we had like a tag team brawl with chairs and other stuff before it was broken up by staff.

 

Then there was me and Tierra. We had a weird ass relationship. We liked one another, and used to run around giving each other love taps and stuff...and this somehow spawned some quasi-feud between the second and third grade classes (she was a year behind me). It's funny looking back on this now. It got to the point where we were actually setting our classmates up to give each other love taps (for instance, I'd send a friend to go hit her, she sends a friend to hit me...silly stuff like that).

 

Then one day in gym class, I caught her giving Chris MY love taps...and got jealous as hell. While the gym teacher is giving us instructions, I get up, walk over to her and slapped her, then she slapped me and we got into it for real (the girl could hit, too). We were doing races that day, if I remember right, and the teacher was randomly pairing students up to run against another team, and everytime I caught her hitting Chris, I'd walk up and hit her, and we'd get into another fight. Finally, the teacher got sick of my bullshit, and just decided to pair me and Tierra up for the last race. We were the two fastest runners in our classes, but we ended up fighting throughout the entire race (we were actually slapping one another coming across the finish line), and lost. GOD I miss that girl. I think next to eigth grade, this was probably the most fun I've ever had in school.

[Guest kingkamala]

So you consider having your own band worse than dry humping a picture of a gimp?

Oh yes it was, with song titles like the ballad Termite Love and party starters like the Termites Rock The House

[Guest ElectricRaccoon]

but my best friend Akeem Washington stopped him

Someone should probably mention that your friend has the coolest name in human history.

[Guest tank_abbott]

I was the token *FAT* Kid in my class, and most of my memories are repressed away in the core of my brain...

 

The few I do remember...

 

I had kidney cancer when I was younger and i couldn't control my bladder very well, and I pissed my pants at least once every month or so (at least)

 

Once in 2nd grade math I had to go, but was scared to ask, and I just pissed all over the seat, and it was dripping down onto the carpet... no one noticed until we switched classes and the next kid tried sitting there

 

In 3rd grade I was to read in front of the class, and I had another accident prior to going up front...once i got up there Kenny Massey called out "Hey look everybody Andy pissed his pants!" Everyone laughs...

 

5th grade, during recess I pissed my pants, and so I wouldn't be noticed I sat in a puddle, and managed to save myself the embarassment I normally went through.

 

When I 1st started kindergarden I couldn't wipe my own BUTT. (Age 6) So I sat in the bathroom stall and cried until the school nurse heard me and came and wiped me.

 

In 5th grade I got in trouble for sexually harassing a girl in my class.

 

Gee Between pissing myself and being a fat fuck, I can't imagine why she wasn't interested!?!!?

 

Maybe more will be added later, as I dig deeper into my mind.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

In second grade, somebody was blowing up a balloon, suddenly it exploded and everyone started crying, except for me and the rest of the kids in the back row.

 

Also I introduced some kids to Metallica's music, the whole class suddenly caught on to air-guitar fever.

 

In fourth grade, I saw someone attempt at Ryu-like fire ball in a fight, the other kids just punched him in the gut, and it was over.

 

Also in fourth grade, some dumb kids formed a gang and "tagged" up the boy's restroom, when they were caught, they were taken into another room and talked too, the rest of the class watched as they started crying. I consider that my revnge, those kids kicked my ass regularly, also thye were frisked for the rest of the the year b volunteer students. I was taken off of volunteer duty for punching one of them in the back.

[HurriShane 0]

In 5th grade I managed to sneak my way into the teachers lounge and when I opened up the fridge I found a 24 pack of Budweiser and some other assorted liquor bottles were in the cabinet.

Another time I think in 4th grade this one kid's older brother, he was probably like 16 or 17, walked into class and punched my teacher right in the face.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Well, when I was in Kindergarden, I was playing tag, a kid ran into a tree. A branch went clear through his eye. So, logically, my teacher (Mrs. Bastard, perhaps you know her?) decided that there'd be a "No Touch Rule." Any physical contact was henceforth banned. That's right, no tag, no pushing on swings, no helping someone stand when they fell. She did manage to point out to the class that it was all my fault, which, by the way, was a boldfaced lie. That teacher gave me the only detention I ever have recieved, because I supposedly broke the "No Touch Rule," even though at the time I was on the swings, BY MYSELF. Strange.

 

I seriously wonder if she had something against me. Was it that I can't swallow jello, which forced her to make me sit in the corner with that stuff for over an hour while everyone else went to a parade? Was it that I complained about having to count to 100 everyday? How about when I complained that I was tired of hearing about words that start with the letter A for three straight months? Was it that I could read before I came to school? Or that I could already add? Or maybe that she couldn't throw anything at me I didn't already know?

 

Well, eventually, in order to stop my complaints at being forced to do the same boring things I had mastered before I even came into the same state, she took action.

 

She reccommended I take Ritalin!

 

Mom and Dad ignored her.