Promo : attitude problem

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

[waits for someone to say this promo sucks, so he can at least have one more post in the thread =P ]

 

START PROMO

 

 

 

Ahh...

 

 

 

Such are the sounds that are coming out of Fletcher Callaway's mouth, as he sips a cold bottle of beer inside a local bar in Adelaide. Run down from a minor injury and seeking some much-needed time off, Flexxx decided to take a small vacation around Australia and take in the sights for a while. He's pretty much shaken off all of the stress of many weeks of Metals and Crimsons, along with having healed his damaged ribs, but something just wasn't right...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Last Crimson. K-Os defeated Flexxx in a towering He|_|_ In A Cell, to finally settle the score between them. But K-Os won, and all of the Flunkmasta's hopes went down the septic tank. It's a wonder that the poor guy's still sane, after all he went through to even get to that fateful evening.

 

But oddly enough, he's HAPPY! Happy as he's ever been in his entire life! All of his past worries have gone, all of the pressures of pro-wrestling... non-existant!

 

Yup, yup, yup... just sitting in a bar in Adelaide, watching some monday night wrestling and talking to a beautiful red-headed firecracker of a woman. Anyways, back inside that bar...

 

"...and my last work was done in Hiroyashi, Japan, an exotic region full of... 'culture'..."

 

"WOW! What a great career! What I would give to travel around the world like that, in all those tropical paradises... what *do* you do, anyway?" the woman asks.

 

"Let's just say that, *cough*, I'm a renouned actor."

 

"What kind of movies are you in?"

 

"Uh... romances."

 

"AMAZING! I would imagine so, since you're so... so... so..."

 

(Just then, on the monday night wrestling on TV, a flashback of an old promo showed on Crimson, featuring Flexxx and long-gone SJL interviewer Rebecca Nikolai, in a feature of GREAT proportions.......... mainly the interviewer's proportions!)

 

------------------------

 

Flexxx : "You give blowjobs to Payne! Don't deny it! The look of denial is on your face! You are caught, white-handed! Oh my god, that makes me SICK! I don't think I have the audacity to look at your mouth the same way ever again!"

 

Rebecca : "...But-"

 

Flexxx : "But I forgive you!"

 

Rebecca : "You do?"

 

Flexxx : "You better bet your silicone boobies, b*tchcakes!"

 

Rebecca : "What?"

 

Flexxx : "Because I know that you're going to make the right choice, and start goin' on a drive for the *REAL* man! How's about it, honey? Does the Flunkmasta Flexxx... *grabs and readjusts pants* Turn you on?"

 

Rebecca : "WHAT!?"

 

Flexxx then takes off his shirt and throws it away from camera view, then flexes his muscles and goes up close to Rebecca...

 

Flexxx : "Do you feel... wet?"

 

Rebecca : "What kind of filthy, perverted, one-eyed freak am I interviewing here?"

 

Flexxx : "Your king of real hardcore, the Flunkmasta Flexxx! So how's about it, baby? They call me the Flexxxorcist, cause you know that I can bring out the *beast* in you!"

 

-------------------------

 

With a blank stare into the TV, from almost halfway across the bar room, Flexxx's fine female acquaintance lets her wine glass slowly slip from out of her silky hands...

 

SMASH!

 

The glass shatters into watered-down bits on the floor, and all of the guys in the bar stop what they're doing and turn around, looking with interest at what just happened. The woman sitting next to Flexxx remains speechless, but a surging anger becomes imminent in her light-blue eyes, with her fingers trembling with that same exact feeling... she just had one of those little revelations.

 

"Oh... my... god... no WAY! You're, why, you're FLEXXX!"

 

"Uh... heh heh heh... hi, Rebecca!" Flexxx laughs nervously, with sweat trailing down his forehead. "So, how's it going--"

 

"YOU GOT ME FIRED FROM THE SWF! YOU AND THAT MIKE VAN SICLEN PRICK! YOU GOT ME FIRED! YOU GOT ME FIRED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......."

 

As the tormented Rebecca Nikolai suffered an emotional breakdown and put her head down on the table, pouring out in tears and asking herself why that incident had to happen to her, all of the men in the bar kept on staring at Rebecca and the nervous Flunkmasta.

 

"Shhh! Shhh! Please calm down, please just calm down, baby... I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt you--"

 

"You low-life sleaze! How could you make me look bad on my first day! ON MY FIRST DAY! And look at you... I know you don't really care! You're still thinking about getting in my pants! That's all you care about... harassing women like that..."

 

"No no no, baby, you've got me all wrong! Please don't--"

 

SMACK FROM HE|_|_! Straight across Flexxx's face, the angry Rebecca leaves a nasty red burnmark on the pr0n-masta's face! And with that being done, the disparraged Rebecca runs away, still covering her face and trying to wipe off her tears of torment. As Flexxx rubs his pained skin and wipes the spit off of his knocked-up lip, the entire bar room is still staring at Flexxx, this time with some anger towards him. But with one big, audible *gulp*, Flexxx swallows his fear and sits back down on his stool, keeping to himself...

 

 

 

 

[ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER]

 

 

 

A couple of guys walk in, and they wave towards Flexxx, who is still sort of keeping to himself.

 

"Hey hey hey! It's Fletcher! Hiya, buddy!"

 

Tired after the bar incident from earlier on, Flexxx slowly raises his head and turns around, looking for a turn of good luck.

 

"Oh... hey, Mike, Joey. What a surprise... what brings you two foo-suckas to the big down under?"

 

"Hehe... well, we heard about the big SWF/JL Australian tour and wanted to see you in action, so we came down here to talk to you! Haven't seen you in a long while!" Mike says.

 

"After all, this is your last show away from home, and we'd feel like turkey-shits if we didn't see you this time!" Joey says, following up his friend's explanation.

 

"Well, guys..." Flexxx says, shrugging, "I don't think you'll be seeing me on Crimson."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Well, I got sidelined by an injury to the right-bottom part of my ribs. I was in a match with the world champion, K-Os, two weeks ago... a HUGE match. He|_|_ in a Cell. It was my dream come true... my one single absolute opportunity to prove myself to the fans, to the stars, to the world..."

 

"Yeah, then what?" Mike says impatiently, as Flexxx hesitates and sighs.

 

"...I lost... and it was that bastard who injured my ribs. Because of him, I'm sidelined... because of him, I never won the big one. Because of that... inhuman... whatever the #### he is... I'm where I am right now. In a motherfuckin' bar, getting drunk in a fuckin' pool of my own self-pity! If you want to do the world a favor, put that gun pistol in my right earhole and pull the trigger. For the fans..."

 

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is up with you!? This is no way to be talking, man! You couldn't help what happened on top of that steel cell!" Joey says.

 

"Oh yeah, really... and why not?" Flexxx asks.

 

"C'mon, Fletcher! You just have to accept the fact that you can't constantly live up to everybody's expectations! You can't be the best, no matter what you do. You can only hope to have a decently successful career, if you put your mind to it! You can't just NOT expect to find roadblocks in your path to success--"

 

"*sigh* ... OK, I admit it. I've been just a bit too confident, and didn't expect such a letdown. But what to do, what to do..."

 

"Hey bud, that's what we're here for! We're always around to support ya, and check if you're doin' okay, man! But we gotta go now, or we'll miss our ride to the city. Just keep cool..."

 

"Yeah. Thanks for that little talk, guys. I'll keep my cool..."

 

"Anytime, Fletch! See ya back home in a while!"

 

The two guys leave, but Flexxx suddenly gets off of his bar stool and raises his hand towards the two men.

 

"...wait..."

 

"Huh?"

 

"...Come back for a minute. There's something really cool that I almost forgot to show you. From my vacation in Aussie land."

 

"Oh, great! I think we still have a minute or two! Let us see, Fletcher!"

 

With that said, Flexxx digs into the inside pockets of his long, black jacket and searches for his pictures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

But with a slight change of the camera's viewing angle, we can see that Flexxx isn't holding any pictures, or a wallet, or anything for that matter. Anything besides a beer bottle. His fingers trembling around the glass bottle, Flexxx suddenly turns around and says :

 

"Hey, here they are! This is what I've wanted to show you for such a damned long time, you know!"

 

Flexxx holds up the beer bottle and quickly swings the brunt of it into Joey's face...

 

CRACKLE!

 

Shards of glass break off of Joey's hard skull, and the brutal impact knocks Joey face-first onto the bartender's table, with trails of blood going down his cheeks! Before Mike can even react or have another thought, Flexxx quickly swings the broken beer bottle into Mike's jaw with a hard sideways smash, almost breaking all the poor man's teeth! As Mike stumbles across the bar, holding his bleeding mouth, Flexxx grabs his head and vengefully catapults his friend into the wall, knocking him down! Yet amidst the uncalled-for violence, all of the guys in the bar start yelling and shaking their fists in the air...

 

"BAR FIGHT! BAR FIGHT! BAR FIGHT! BAR FIGHT!"

 

"You're puttin' on a good show, mates! Good show! WOOOOOOOT!!!"

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAARRGHHHHH!!!" everyone responds with *much* approval.

 

Before Joey can even recover, Flexxx also goes back for him and grabs his jacket, then tosses him out of the bar door, right into a sunny crowd of unexpecting bystanders! As Mike rolls around, trying to get himself back up as well, Flexxx runs right for him and picks the poor guy back up by his head, then drags him towards the pool table and smashes his face into the hardwood edge of the pooltable! Suddenly, Flexxx stops, panting from exhaustion and looking around himself.

 

Just then, he gets an idea. He grabs the black 8-ball and sets it onto the pool table, then he grabs his kendo stick and positions it near the ball. After five seconds of intense thought, Mike looks up from the edge of the pool table, to see a giant black ball right in front of his face!

 

With a sick grin on his face, Flexxx immediately jabs the ball with his kendo stick, sending it flying towards Mike's forehead!

 

CRACK!

 

Then after the hard-assed ball bounces off of his forehead, the kendo stick's momentum remains unstifled...

 

CRACK!

 

Double impact! Mike gets knocked unconscious and flies back-first onto the barroom floor! Flexxx drops the stick out of his hand, and walks around solemnly, contemplating what he has just done! Because of the sudden stop of the action, the entire barroom becomes eerily silent for a couple of seconds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Heh. Heh. Heh heh heh. Yeah... like you guys said, I better not stress myself out."

 

 

 

"So, you know, I better just 'keep my cool'. Hahahaha... Yeah. Better just 'keep my cool'..."

 

 

 

"Hahahahahaha..."

 

 

 

After nudging the limp, bloodied body of Mike's with his boot, he sees Joey walking back into the bar with a lingering limp in his right leg. Flexxx quietly walks up to Joey, who has his head hanging down on the bartender's counter. Putting his mouth up to the man's ear, Flexxx decides to utter two words, in a really loud voice, right into Joey's ear...

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

"BLOW ME!!!!!!!!"

 

With those two awful words uttered into the beaten-down "friend"'s ear, Flexxx takes the right edge of his hand and rams it into the back of Joey's neck with a stiff chop! Groaning from agony, Joey slowly falls onto the floor, to lay there in his own blood and tears. Just like Mike.

 

As Flexxx finally decides to leave, he walks towards the door, but looks back for just one more minute...

 

"And just what the he|_|_ are you barrel of jackasses looking at!? Huh!?"

 

The men inside the barroom look at eachother, then suddenly resume their activities. Upon busting the dark-wooded door open with his foot, Flexxx exits the room and goes back into the sunny outside world of Adelaide, Australia. He looks around the town and says to himself, trying to sort out his thoughts...

 

"Hm. Looks like I got's me some stuff to attend to."

 

END PROMO

[Guest Renegade]

yup, this promo sux! it sux bad.....

 

 

Good to have you back bro...now win that world title