Guest Tod deKindes Report post Posted May 8, 2003 Anything can happen, when a guy is bored ... --- The place: Air Canada Centre, in Toronto. The context: Hours before the Smackdown taping. The problem: A disgruntled Billy Kidman is holding visiting wrestler Tod deKindes hostage ... yes, with a roll of tape. The ransom: He just wants to be over, folks. -- Johnny Ace: (sounding as nervous as a man with as many responsibilities as he has would sound) Come on, Billy ... Let's stay calm, we'll talk this over, all right? Billy: I was the freakin' Cruiserweight champion!! Tod: That thing still around?! Billy: I should be good!! Tod: Good? Hmm, let's see. You in 1999: get beaten up, poor sap tries a powerbomb but You Can't Powerbomb Kidman of course, Shooting Star Press, 1-2-3. You in 2001: beat up, powerbomb's no good, shooting star, three count. You in 2003: ... need I go on? Billy: Shut up! Meanwhile, Stephanie arrives on the scene. Steph: What's going on here?! Ace: He's acting up again. He's been rambling about the crappy opponents he's been getting. Billy: I just jobbed to Brian Kendrick on Velocity!! Velocity!! Steph: ... Is that a roll of tape?? Tod: (sighs) Yep. Steph: Ok, Billy. Just because Tod isn't from here, doesn't mean you have to threaten him. Billy: I just want a good match, Steph. I'm not gonna pull out any spotfests with Bill DeMott!! Steph: We'll find a solution, Billy. Just give me the roll of tape. Tod: Dude, if it's a good match you want, I'll carry your ass to a freakin' *** classic if you want! ... Ya big baby. Billy: Y-- ... you would do that? Tod: Well, it beats getting Bill DeMott ... Or Nathan Jones. A quiet shudder went through everyone's spine. Steph: Then it's settled: Tonight, the opener will be Kidman VS Tod. I trust you two will put on a good match. Suicide King: I have no objection to that. Tod is a very capable wrestler. Steph: (snaps her head to her right, surprised) ... What are you doing here? I was just on the phone with you. King: ... (shrugs) Eh. With that situation now settled, everyone returned to their duties. Tod had gathered his gear and started changing in the lockerroom, along with the rest of the boys. Matt Hardy was right next to him, torn as to which pair of pants he'll wear. Holding two different pairs up, he asks Tod ... Matt: Hey man, what do you think? Tod: Huh? Matt: Do I go with the purple pants with silver motif? Or the yellow one with the black swirlies? Tod: ... Whoa. First one looks like it's got tulip guts smeared all over them. Second looks like a bee puked on 'em. Matt: Hey man, that hurts my feelings. I designed these pants, along with Shannon Moore's, Rhyno's and Undertaker's outfits! Tod: ... 'Taker? Matt: These guys love the comfortable feel of a snug wrestling costume. I personally feel velvet does the best job. It really hugs the curves and makes a guy menacing at the same time. Tod: ... What?! Matt: I really like your tights, man. Nice spandexy feel and I'm sure you move really well in 'em. The silver designs are very nice. Tod: Uhh ... hey look over there! I think Stephanie's hesitating between her cowskin top and lavender sweater! Matt: Ooh! Where?! He grabbed his suitcase and moved to another spot in the lockerroom, safely away from Matt Hardy and his clothing tastes. Tod: Hey, is this spot clear? John Cena: Hey YO!! ... Tod: Oh dear ... Cena: "Dis here is where John Cena be changin'! You sittin' next to me, that be a deal if we start arrangin'! YEAH!" Tod: Wonderful ... I got Kidman tonight. Who do you got? Cena: "Listen here, listen here, CHECK it! Brock Lesnar be all sayin' "Here Comes The Pain" - John Cena don't think dat, he be replyin' that Brock don't got no BRAIN! - He says the Next Big Thing he be, well guess who's gonn' beat him for da 1-2-3!" Tod: That is really irritating. Speaking of which, the giant of a man himself appeared through the doorway. Brock: Cena! Get your ass in the ring! We gotta rehearse! Cena: Coming, Brockie! He retreated outside, but not before giving out the Pound Chest/Peace Sign to the Torontonian. ... Hours later, it was showtime. As the opening promo featuring Brock Lesnar and John Cena took place, Tod paced around near the gorilla position. He quickly nodded to Chris Benoit who walked by with a burlap sack on his shoulder. Its contents were twitching around while muffled screams were heard. He noticed Nathan Jones suspiciously pushing a crate of hand lotion towards the boiler room area. Undertaker was still nowhere to be seen ... Bill DeMott's joke still got no lovin' ... But all that aside, Billy Kidman's fears were put to rest. He and Tod deKindes proceeded to have the match of the night. Tod lost to a botched Shooting Star Pressed. -The End- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted May 8, 2003 EXCELLENT~! Although with you jobbing to KIDMAN, I suspect there was foul play involved...possibly a ref bump and a roll of tape shot?! Blasphemous! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest 5_moves_of_doom Report post Posted May 9, 2003 Took a while for me to get to finally reading it, but... (Y). Todski > Kidman Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Tod deKindes Report post Posted May 9, 2003 Come on, do the math here. Canadian wrestler + hometown + WWE = jobs profusely Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Crowe Report post Posted May 9, 2003 It's amusing that the match of the night includes a botched finish. As always, very entertaining read. (Y) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
