Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 (edited) HeldDOWN~! for May 5th, 2003! Stuff blows up! Music plays! The crowd goes MILD~, er WILD~! And here's your announce team for the evening... Michael Cole: Welcome to HeldDOWN~! I’m Michael Cole, along with the Coach! Jonathan Coachman: That’s right Michael, and we had one HELL of a show last week! A man who no one though they’d ever see again returned, the one and only CABOOSE! Michael Cole: Tonight appears like it’ll be even WILDER, since we’ve got... ::The smoke from the opening fireworks dies down and the lights go out.:: The crowd rises to it's feet in anticipation. Cole: Uh oh! Well there no doubting who is going to come out now! Coach: Feel the energy in the arena! 'Cochise' by Audioslave starts up and strobe lights spiral around the arena. Finally they settle on a single figure up the rafters and the crowd roars! Caboose descends from the rafters and touches down on the entrance stage just as the lights come back on and 'CABOOSE' flashes on the AngleTron. The crowd's cheers get louder with every step Caboose takes towards the ring. Strangely however Caboose is looking around the arena instead of his usual steely stare forwards. Cole: Caboose looks anxious, something is clearly on his mind. Coach: But what exactly? Caboose steps into the ring and rather than pose on the second rope, he instead walks over to the far corner and reaches for a microphone. The ring side crew are confused and scramble for a mic as Caboose stands impatiently in the ring. Cole: Caboose is going to speak? Coach: No it can't be... Caboose is given a mic and he steps back into the centre of the ring and continues to look over awed looking around the arena at the fans who have remained on their feet cheering him. Caboose pauses, looks down at the ring, and then glances to his right before holding the mic to his mouth and opening his mouth... Caboose: Thank you. The crowd roars for Caboose's acknowledgement of them. Cole: Caboose is talking! Oh my god Caboose is speaking! he hasn't spoke since July 22nd of last year when he left the OAOAST after being screwed out of the World Title by AlfDogg and Bill Watts! Coach: Shut-up and listen Cole! Caboose: Thank you for the reception I got tonight. Thank you for the reception I got last week. Thank you for the reception I got in January ebfore I left again. Thank you for the reception I got at 'Battered, Bloody and Beaten'. Thank you for thr reception I got when I left last July. But most of all thank you for watching and waiting, hoping and praying that one day I might return to this godforsaken federation. The Crowd cheers Caboose's humility. Caboose: Without your support and your belief in me, I wouldn't have comeback. I would have stayed at home and replayed the past, over and over and over again in my head. Thank you for giving me a reason to come back and live for it once again. The Crowd applauds Caboose. Caboose: But the truth is, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be allowed back, I don't deserve the support of all you, I don't deserve your cheers. You all may think of me as a hero, but all I am is a coward. The crowd is confused by Caboose's statement. Caboose: I ran when things got rough back in July, and I ran again when things got tough in January. I had my reasons to leave, but I had my reasons to stay. Better reasons. But I chose to ignore them and run. For that I am sorry. But in the end I have lost out more than anyone. I have lost almost a year of action. I have lost almost a year of fun. I have lost almost a year of everything that comes with the OAOAST. And for my cowardice I have paid the biggest price. I promise not to run again, but then how can you all take the word of a two-time, two-time coward? Simply put, you cannot take my word. So I'll show you I'm here to stay. I'm not running this time, there is too much to run away from. And there is nowhere and nothing to run to. The Crowd cheers Caboose's honesty. Caboose: But before I go about earning everyone's trust again, there are some things on my chest I have to get off. I'm going to wipe the slate clean for everyone tonight, but before I do that, I've got some dirty laundry to air in public, because maybe then all the dirt will finally be washed away. The crowd is again confused by Caboose's statement. Caboose: Now there are people around here that have been around for a while, and there are people who have been around for 5 minute. There are people who listen, and there are people who talk. There are people who stand up and be counted, and there are people who run like I did. I'm not here to judge who backstage is who. But I'm here to warn certain people that they need to start bucking there ideas up, or else they are going to pay a bigger price. The price? Exactly what I paid. Losing this place when I could have helped or simply had fun. To lose something is a heavy price when you enjoy that something so much. I have paid. I don't ever want to pay again. The crowd waits in anticipation of who Caboose is talking about. Cole: Who is Caboose talking about? Coach: I think I may know who... Caboose: Who shall I begin with? Hmmm, where better to start than the man who started the OAOAST in the first place, CobainWasMurdered. The Crowd pops for CWM's name. Caboose: I used to love CWM's work, it was funny, entertaining, original and clever. Bu then he left soon after I left the second time. Fine you left CWM. You went home like I did. But then you did something different, while I helped out around the place, and tried to continue enjoy the OAOAST from the outside, you chose to drop in every so often and share your thoughts. What did you say? 'The OAOAST is Ghey'. Well thanks for the message CWM, but why bother turning up? If you hated the place so much in the end, why come back and act like a prick? While you were around you swaggered about like you were the man, and once a while ago you were. But not anymore, you can either move on, or do something constructive. You couldn't. So how about you grow up some and come back and to either help and be constructive or just don't bother next time. Caboose gets a mixed reaction for his berating of CWM. Caboose: The same goes for you Sandman. Not so long ago you were the absolute best around here, no one could touch your matches. You were honest, helpful and you worked your ass off. But then why turnaround and soil your the very legacy you built yourself by acting lie a spoilt brat? You stroll in flash a middle finger call everyone 'cocksuckers' and leave again. Seriously what is the use in that? Show some decency or don't show yourself at all. Caboose's comments get a small round of applause for their honesty. Caboose: Who is next? How about Tony? Yeah thats right, everybody's favourite commentator. The man who helped take the OAOAST to a more serious direction, fine I had a problem with it in the first place, I left. After a while I liked the newer methods. And I came back. So you may wonder what beef I have with you? You dropped the ball Tony. Anytime things went wrong either you complained that no one understood you, or you said you lost the message some people sent you. Well when we all trusted you to help us, and you let us down liek this and then refuse to take responsibility or blame it on a missing message. That is acting like a coward, like me. And for that I'm calling you on it. Caboose's comments seem to be getting louder reactions as the crowd realize he is speaking from his heart. Caboose: Next on the list is SuperStar. Now Supes, you and me are friends, I don't have many friends around here, but our are one. I helped you with your original gimmick. And recently you've helped get me back in this place. But why won't you let certain issues go? Seriously I have buried most of the hatchet with Popick but you can't. Why? If you really hate this place and Popick so much, don't keep on coming back for more and anger yourself and cause problems for others who are trying to get on with things. You know I like you, but this is for your own good. Caboose's comments about SpuerStar are met with a more mixed reaction. Caboose: Finally, BPP, Popick, Stephen Joseph, whatever the hell your calling yourself at the moment. You better learn to get in line with the rest of us and start playing fairly. know I said we buried most of the hatchet, but I'll bury it completely after I've finished. Cole: Here we go! Caboose: Why do you always put out bullshit OAOAST PR statements after something goes wrong? There is no need to protect your image, a lot of us already have opinions formed. Why try to cover up the shit that’s building up? The more you hide it, the more its gonna hit the fan a few weeks down the line. Confront the problem head on. Sort it there and then. Like with Zsasz. ven then you let the shit build for two months before you did what was right. And why do you keep inciting Supes to come back and start shit up again? Leave it fucking be! But no, you'll turn around and post another bullshit statement about leaving issues alone. That just serves for them to boil over again. Also your use of SpiderPoet as your little tool of action is sickening. Do it yourself! Not compromise SP's position as a likeable person. I know of a few people who won't got to SP now because they think he is you little henchman, when really he is the twice, no thrice the man and member you are. As fo this whole Trinity angle. Congratulations. You were successful in stealing my idea, changing it to your own, basing it around you and then putting yourself all over both IZ and HD. And you wonder why a lot of people dislike you? One last thing BPP, what’s with all this name-dropping in promos? You think mentioning me, Some Guy and a few others will make your promo better? Well I just called seven people on certain bullshit. I didn't name drop, I told it like it is. The Crowd breaks out into a loud round of applause. Caboose: But before I go I have one more thing to say. The Caboose Mission Statement. I will not leave again until everyone wants me to go. I will not walk away from an issue again. I will not try and hinder the progress of the OAOAST... Tears start to appear on Caboose's face. Caboose:...I will not let this place go down the crapper! I will not let other people over run it with their bullshit! I will not let the OAOAST DIE! I WILL KEEP THIS PLACE GOING UNTIL EVERYONE’S GONE! I WILL MAKE THIS PLACE FUN AGAIN! THIS PLACE WILL NO LONGER BE A JOKE! THIS PLACE WILL BE KNOWN AS THE OAOAST AGAIN! The tears start to peel away Caboose's face paint, as the crowd burst into a standing ovation. Caboose: But now the slate is clean, and anyone who brings the shit up again, will get a personal ass kicking from me! ...Thank you. Caboose drops the mic and exits the ring to wild applause, he slowly walks up the ramp before turning around on the stage and acknowledging the crowd with by raising his righ arm in the air, which the crowd reacts to with a roar of cheers. Fade to Commercial:: Edited May 9, 2003 by Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 We return from commercial to see Cole and Coach still stunned at the Caboose promo. Cole: Before the break ladies and gentlemen, Caboose made it clear that he wasn't about to let all the recent retirees kill this place with their absence! Coach: And now it looks like the in-ring action is going to begin right NOW~, with Starbearer versus FOSHI~! "Sure Know Something" hits and the first contest is underway. Announcer: The following is a no disqualification matchup scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Detroit, Michigan weighing in at 240 lbs: the Starbearer Paul Stanley. Paul Stanley makes his way to the ring in a sea of boos as clips of last week's tag team match are shown. Stanley gets in the ring and grabs a mic. Stanley: Cut my music. As much as I and you people love to hear me speak, I'm going to keep this brief because I'm looking forward to kicking Foshi's ass. This is your last chance. You've had multiple oppurtunities to try and beat me and you've never done it. After tonight, when I beat you, that's it. I refuse to waste my talent with you any longer. Stanley tosses down the mic as "Working Man" hits and Mongoose Foshi makes his way to the ring to a nice pop from the fans. Announcer: And his opponent from Japan weighing in at 208 lbs: Mongoose Foshi! Foshi wastes no time getting to the ring. He dives in and spears Stanley into the corner. He repeatedly rams the midsection area and then lets up before hitting a kick to the knee and two more to each side of the ribs. Stanley falls to his knees and Foshi hits a devestating kick to the side of the head knocking Stanley out of the ring. Foshi tosses his jacket off and waits for Stanley to get up on the outside. As he does, Foshi comes off the ropes with a baseball slide knocking Stanley into the announce table. Stanley climbs behind the table and tries to get away through the crowd. Foshi grabs him by the hair and brings him back to the ring. He tosses him in and comes in with a slingshot dropping the knee across the face. Foshi picks Stanley up and irish whips him to the far corner. Stanley stops with his back to Foshi and jumps over and behind him. Stanley kicks low from behind. He turns Foshi around and hits a ddt and covers. 1 2 Kick out. Stanley tosses Foshi to the outside. He goes to the outside as well and finds a chair. He levels Foshi across the head and then throws the chair down. Stanley grabs a beer from one of the fans and downs some before dumping it on Foshi. He picks him back up and whips him into the guard rail. Stanley runs, uses the ring steps as a "springboard", and hits a devestating dropkick to the head. Foshi collapses in a heap. Stanley covers on the outside. 1 2 Kick out. Cole: And Foshi somehow kicks out of a pin after getting blasted in the head! I like this Foshi guy, Coach! Coach: I hate that Japanese rock shiz, yo! Man, fuck that noise! Cole: What DO you like then? Coach: Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz, yo! Cole: Man, don't front, you know you love Foshi. Stanley whips him into the ringpost on the farside. He follows after with a chair and climbs onto the apron. He comes off and dropkicks the chair into Foshi. Stanley takes a moment to recover himself and then rolls Foshi-who is now busted open-over for the cover. 1 2 Kick out. Stanley tosses him back in the ring. He tosses two chairs into the ring. He then goes into the crowd and makes a fan get up to toss a third chair in. Stanley sets up two of the chairs in a sitting position facing each other and lays Foshi across them. He places the third on top of Foshi and then heads to the outside and climbs to the top. Stanley stays up for a few moments before coming off with a devestating senton bomb. Both men are down and out for quite a while before Stanley stirs and covers. 1 2 Kick out. Cole: Foshi with another kickout! Coach: Amazing! Stanley cannot believe Foshi kicked out. As he grabs a chair, Foshi is up and behind him. He turns with it and has the chair kicked hard into his face by Foshi sending him back into the turnbuckle. Foshi hits another kick to the midsection and then sets up Stanley in the tree of woe. He places the three chairs in front of Stanley and goes to the opposite side of the ring. He runs at it in a baseball slide sending the impact of the three chairs into Stanley's face. He collapses into a heap on the chairs as Foshi rolls him over for the cover. 1 2 Kick out. Foshi goes to the outside and brings a table in. He sets it up mid ring, but receives a poke to the eye from Stanley before he can do anything. Stanley runs with him into the ropes and looks for an Acid Drop but Foshi blocks and hits an atomic drop and a knee to the kidneys. He looks for a punch, but Stanley ducks and hits a northern lights suplex. 1 2 Kick out. Stanley clotheslines Foshi as he is recovering. He picks him up and sets him up on the top rope. Stanley climbs up with him. Foshi fights back and the two exchange punches. Foshi hits a good shot to the gut and manages to parallel himself on the same side of the turnbuckle as Stanley. He sets up Stanley and with very little momentum manages to get him up high enough and hold him in a vertical suplex position. Foshi brings him down with La Villa Strangiato through the table. Both men are down and out. Foshi manages to get an arm across the chest. 1 2 Kick out. Coach: This match getting just a wee crazy now. Stanley manages to survive. Foshi gets up and sets two of the chairs in between the middle and top ropes at the turnbuckle. He puts Stanley in a sitting position between the two chairs and places the third chair in the middle of the ring. He stands in front of Stanley and hits devestating kicks to each side of the head through the chairs, picks Stanley up, and hits one more La Villa Strangiato onto the third chair. He covers. 1 2 3! DING DING DING Announcer: Here is your winner: Mongoose Foshi! Cole: And Foshi wins! Starbearer put some major hurting down, but Foshi just kept taking it and coming back! Both men are down in the middle of the ring. Very slowly, they both get up. Stanley retreats to a corner holding his head. Mongoose has his back to Stanley which gives the Starbearer a chance to take one of the chairs. He measures and waits, but he drops the chair down before striking. Foshi's now bloody face turns to face Stanley. They stare down in the center of the ring. After a few moments, Foshi extends his hand. Stanley accepts and shakes to cheers from the fans. Stanley leaves as Foshi remains in the ring to celebrate his victory. Coach: And they show that no matter how much you beat and bludgeon your opponent, you gotta respect him. Cole: Would you still shake my hand if I did that stuff to you? Coach: Fuck no. Cole: Er... anyways... what an opening contest! *** Backstage, Zack Malibu and Alison are hanging out in their POSH~! dressing room. Zack's all happy because he's got the new Incredible Hulk DVD playing on the tube. Then, he hears a knock at the door. ZM:(under his breath) "Just when he was about to turn into Hulk again..." Zack opens the door to find Crystal, HeldDOWN's female phenom! ZM:"Hey Crystal." C:"Hey Zack. Listen, can I talk to you for a second?" ZM:"Sure thing, what's up?" Zack lets her in, and closes the door. Alison gets up and greets Crystal with a hug. C:"I wanted to talk to you about a match." ZM:"Ah, OK. SP's still giving you crap, huh? I know what that's like." C:"No, no. Not him." ZM:"Well then, who've you got tonight?" C:"Nobody, and that's the thing..." ZM:"Hey, I'm not booked in a match tonight y...wait..." Zack pauses, as Crystal looks at him with a smile. ZM:"C'mon Crystal, are you kidding me!?" C:"What, like I can't do it?" ZM:"No, not that. C'mon I helped you out when SP was throwing you around, because guys that beat up on women are cowards." C:"But YOU'RE not a coward Zack. You're a friend. And you're a fighting champion." ZM:"This is true." Zack smirks. Crystal smiles. Alison looks at Zack to see what his response is going to be. Zack turns back to Crystal... ZM:"Go get your gear on." Crystal smiles back at him. C:"Hey, may the best WOMAN win!" Crystal hugs Alison, and then pats Zack on the shoulder. C:"See ya out there, Preppy." Cut back to the commentators booth. Coach:"Did he just...are we...you mean...Crystal!?" MC:"Hey, Zack's a fighting champion, that extends to everyone. For the first time EVER in OAOAST history, a woman is getting a shot at the World Heavyweight Title TONIGHT!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 ::”Puttin’ On The Ritz” by Taco begins to pump out of the speakers as the lights dim low and The Amazing Rando of all people comes out wearing a lovely velvet smoking jacket and smoking a pipe, which happens to randomly blow bubbles to the sky. He looks around nonchalantly, as if everything he is doing is completely normal to the fans in attendance and watching at home. Rando takes a leisurely stroll down the ramp and quietly enters the ring and sits in his big cushioned chair. He smiles towards a waiting camera:: Rando: Hello out there…and welcome to “An Evening With The Rando”. I’m sure you know who I am so lets get right down to business. Tonight I’d like to begin by thanking all of those who sent me fan mail, and that one male that sent me a fan. That was really nice of you but I gave it to my chauffeur so that he could try his hand at windwalking while completely drunk. He seems to enjoy it and for some reason calls it “The Feel Good Movie Of The Summer”…I think he needs mental help. So…Pure Boy has challenged me…anywhere, anytime, anyhow, anyway, anything, anyday, anywho, any-benny-fo-fenny…and tonight I’m going to make my decision… ::The crowd gasps…as that is all the rage these days:: Rando: …but not now… ::The crowd boos…as that is all the rage these days:: Rando: First…Mr. Clean must realize that I do not hold any kind of degree in submission holds, except of course for the world famous Horizontal Bodylock, and yet he seems to have a PhD in armbars and an MFA in leglocks. Well let me just say…WHOOP DEE DOO… Had I spent five years in clown college like you I’d probably know how to make guys squeal and hang out with a guy whose mind revolves around how he can use a tennis racket to pleasure himself in ways that make even the kinkiest of girls faint. Little note to Corny…When you are doing your little deed…redder isn’t always better… get the picture? ::The crowd laughs…as that is all the rage these days:: Rando: So…as for a match….Sure…we can fight. I think at School’s Out we should have a little battle with your belt on the line. But since you so graciously added in that “anyhow” stipulation…I feel that you should have to pin me…I can tap all I want…but that does not mean you win. I mean…you say you are such a superior talent and athlete…purifying more guys than Brita does water…..you’d still probably be able to pin me right?…and I’m sure that is what you are thinking right now… you are back there watching and all that is going through your mind besides the ladies out here is ‘I can beat him…I’ll just pretend that he is my meat and whip him good’… ::The crowd laughs again…as that is…ahhh…you know the drill:: Rando: As for the incident in your match with Knight last week…you know…where you thought I was going to hit you with that chair…You had me completely mistaken. I was just bringing the chair to you so that you could watch the rest of your match, but it was over before I was able to get in the ring. I was only trying to help…and having you sit down on the outside of the ring is a whole lot better than watching you try to wrestle on the inside of the ring… So…Purist…you have your match…The Amazing Rando vs. you…the X Champion…Schools Out…you can bring all the holds you want, but you gotta pin me to the mat for the three count to beat me. It’s simple enough…….1……2……3….and rest assured you’ll hear them at School’s Out, Pure Boy…but after that three the only thing you will see will be the lights and me with the X title… There’s not much that you can count on… but you can count on that… How do I know? Because I know…deep down inside…you really do want to be …..JUST….LIKE…..ME! :: “Puttin’ On The Ritz” plays again as Rando stands and kicks the chair down before leaving the ringside area to the cheers of the Randomaniacs…as that is all the rage these days:: Coach(singing along): If you're blue and you don't know... Cole: I thought you said you listened to hardcore rap. Coach: Um, I heard this in an elevator once. (before the commercial, a video starts to play...) Voice:It doesn't matter who it is. Mad Matt walks out of the shadows. Mad Matt:Big or small. Thin or Wide. Male or Female. It doesn't matter whom. We see Mad Matt hitting a top rope enzugiri kick to the back of the head to a training partner. Mad Matt:All that matters is that they are a challenge. I crave a challenge. I might take some that I have no chance in hell of winning but one thing is for certain. Mad Matt looks into the camera. Mad Matt:I will give them a run for their money. Coming Soon:Mad Matt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 Cole: Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, where we’ve got an amazing night on tap for you already, even though it’s been tremendous already! Coach: Caboose comes out and declares his official return, and Foshi and Starbearer went wild on each other! Cole: But still to come, the first ever intergender OAOAST World Title match! “Connecting!” Cole: But now, here come the Boogie Knights! “Komodo” by Mauro Picotto plays, and the Knights come to the ring, glowsticking like mad, then throwing the sticks out into the crowd once they reach the ring. Zorin and Kotzenjunge do some tandem liquid dancing and then ask for a pair of microphones. Max Zorin: Helloooooooooooo everybody!!! The crowd cheers. Kotzenjunge: Yeah, so that Sting dude came back, but we know what HeldDOWN~! was really missing! Both: Us! Zorin: Well, we were in Italy hunting down that bastard Gigi D’Agostino for swindling us at Living Angleously! Kotzenjunge: You’ll see how that turned out on next week’s HeldDOWN~!, but for now, we’ve got something very important to attend to. Zorin: See, we issued a challenge to the winners of the tag title match at Living Angleously, and Los Infernales won... Kotzenjunge: ... but they didn’t say if they accepted our challenge or not! Zorin: So we’re CALLING THEM OUT~! Kotzenjunge: SpiderPoet, EL DANDY~!, get out here and give us an answer! The crowd begins to buzz with anticipation, but Los Infernales don’t appear. Zorin: I guess they’re busy back there doing a circle jerk with Stephen Joseph or something. Kotzenjunge: Or SpiderPoet is “descending into KWAZINESS~” and Dandy’s just staring at a wall, admiring the speed with which the paint dries. Zorin: Let’s do that Dandy tribute dance! The Knights do THE ROBOT~! and this finally draws Los Infernales out. SpiderPoet: Do you boys, and I do mean boys, even know who you’re messing with here? This is two thirds of THE TRINITY standing here, the most powerful force the OAOAST... Kotzenjunge(cutting him off): BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! Damn yo, just cut to the chase! Yes or no? SP: Ehh... nah. Voice: Nah? Sorry, nah doesn’t cut it! Cole: Is it? TREBLE CHARGED~ appears on the stage with Los Infernales now. TC: Infernales, you are indeed a tough team, that match at AngleMania proved so. Knights, you’ve come to great prominence in your short tenure here so far. The fans want to see this match happen... The crowd pops. TC: So I’ll tell you what, there are a couple of other teams here on HeldDOWN~! who I feel are also worthy of a tag title shot, so we’ll have a three way elimination #1 Contenders match later tonight, with the winner facing Los Infernales at School’s Out. It’ll be Totally Endorsed, using whatever combination they choose, versus the Dream Machines, versus the Boogie Knights! I HAVE SPOKEN! Treble Charged goes back behind the curtain, and Los Infernales look smug. SP: You’ll never get past two other teams to face us, you dancing cretins! Now Dandy, let’s go to the back and watch this ribald spectacle unfold... Zorin: Tell Stephen Joseph we said hello! Kotzenjunge: Well, between thrusts, we mean. BOOYAH! SpiderPoet tries to run at the Knights, but Dandy holds him back, and solemnly shakes his head. “Komodo” hits and the camera cuts back to Cole and The Coach. Cole: Well, looks like we’ve got another huge match for tonight! Coach: Wait, Los Infernales aren’t... you know... are they? Cole: I prefer to let people’s lifestyles stay their business, Coach. Coach: Is that why you hit on me at the catering table at lunch today? Cole: Um, ahem, anyways, up next, The Slacker takes on Shattered Dreams! *** "Back Up" By 12 Stones plays over the speaker and the Slacker makes his way to the ring. Several drunken fans throw beer bottles at him. Fortunately for Slacker, they all miss. Announcer: Now making his way to the ring, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Representing Totally Endorsed....The Slacker!! Crowd: THIS MATCH WILL SUCK! THIS MATCH WILL SUCK! Slacker enters the ring and grabs a microphone. It doesn't work, so he grabs another. Slacker: Greetings and Salutations! Crowd: Slacker sucks! Slacker sucks! Slacker: This upcoming ass kicking I'm about to give Shattered Dreams, is sponsored by the new hit movie, X2: X-men united! It's time for those who are different to stand united. Mention my name at the ticket counter and get $2 off the price of admission. Offer only good at participating theaters. Not valid in the state of New Jersey. "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera plays over the speaker, and the fans erupt with a chorus of cheers. Announcer: And the opponent...Weighing in at 190 lbs, from Beverly Hills, CA, representing the Boogie Knights...Shattered Dreams! Dreams makes his way through the crowd and gets into the ring. The red flashing lights stop and the house lights come on. Dreams grabs a microphone and stares at Slacker. Crowd: Dreams! Dreams! Dreams! Dreams: Hiya, Slackie! How ya doin, sweetie? Slacker: I'm excellent! You know what else is excellent? My other sponsor, Ralph Lauren "Romance." Fragrances for men and women. Dreams: Oh my god! It's soooo funny you should mention that! Like, I've got a sponsor to! The letter S! Slacker (laughing): The letter S? Dreams: Yeah, as in S for SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU WORTHLESS DOUCHE BAG! Slacker: What?!! Dreams: Here's a news flash for ya! No one cares if your sponsored by X-men 2. No one cares if your sponsored by Pepsi, or Taco Bell, or Bill's penis pump emporium! Just shut the fuck up! Crowd: PENIS PUMP! PENIS PUMP! The Slacker yells for the crowd to be quiet, but is blandished by a clothesline from Shattered Dreams! The bell rings and this match is underway. Dreams jumps on top of Slacker and starts to punch him without mercy! Slacker pushes Dreams away. He gets up and tries to leave the squared circle, but Dreams halts his escape with a side Russian leg sweep. Slacker quickly gets to his feet but gets whipped into the corner. Dreams tries a corner splash but Slacker moves out of the way. Slacker gets a school boy on Dreams, but only gets a one count. The two combatants get to their feet and trade punches. Slacker gets the upper hand, but Dreams kicks him in the balls. Dreams tries a snap suplex but Slacker blocks it and takes his ditzy rival down with a DDT! Quick cover by Slacker. 1....2....kick out! Crowd: PENIS PUMP! PENIS PUMP! A frustrated Slacker whips Dreams into the ropes and nails him with a knee buster. Dreams grabs his face in pain. He's bleeding from the nose! There goes his modeling contract with the Gap! Slacker grabs his nose to mock Dreams' injury. He forces Dreams to the ropes and proceeds to choke him. Slacker tosses Dreams to the outside. He does the Slacker shrug and rolls out of the ring. He whips his adversary into the steel steps! The Totally Endorsed member rolls Dreams back into the ring. Pin attempt! 1....2....kick out! Crowd: Dreams! Dreams! Dreams! Feeding off the energy of the crowd, Dreams gets to his feet. He throws some weak punches at the Slacker, who easily shrugs them off. Snapmare by Slacker. He locks Dreams into a sleeper hold. Welsh Lolita walks down to ringside in order to rally support for Dreams. Drawing from the power of Lolita's encouragement, Dreams breaks free of Slacker's hold. He throws a flurry of punches at his opponent. Slacker ain't playin that shit! He knocks Dream's on his back with a FIERCE punch to the nose. Pin attempt by Slacker 1....2....KICK OUT! Slacker lifts Dreams up and irish whips him. As Dreams rebounds off the ropes Slacker catches him with a Samoan drop!! Pin attempt. 1....2....Kick out! Slacker drops a series of elbows directly onto Dreams' still bleeding nose! Slacker rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair. He gets back into the ring with the intent of breaking Dreams' nose, but the ref takes the weapon from him! Slacker, pulls some money out of his pockets and tries to bribe the ref into letting him use the chair! The ref takes the money and throws it out of ring, much to Slacker's displeasure! Slackers turns his attention back to his opponent, only to find he's climbed to the top turnbuckle! MISSILE DROPKICK! Slacker is down! Dreams is down! Both men get to their feet. Dreams nails Slacker with a leg lariat. And another. And another! Dreams rips off his mesh shirt and tosses it to Lolita! Crowd: Dreams! Dreams! Dreams! Slacker gets onto his knees and begs for mercy. Crowd: Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Dreams shrugs his shoulders, and drop kicks Slacker in the face! Dreams locks on the MEGA MAGICAL SHARPSHOOTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slacker howls in pain as the crowd screams for him to submit. He almost makes the ropes but Dreams pulls him back to the center of the ring. Wait! Terry Simmons is running down the aisle, he jumps up on the ring apron and starts to shout at Dreams! The ref tries to get Simmons to leave, but he's not moving! Dreams lets go of Slacker and marches over towards Simmons. SUPER KICK for Simmons! Simmons falls to floor like a sack of bricks. Dreams curses and turns around, only to find Slacker back on his feet. Slacker kicks Dreams in the stomach and hits him with a SLACK OFF! Pin attempt! 1......2......3! Announcer: The winner....The Slacker!! Slacker stands up and kicks Dreams directly in the nose. He rolls out of the ring and helps Simmons to his feet. The two stable mates head towards the back, laughing at the sight of Welsh Lolita trying to stop the blood flowing from Dreams' nose. Cole: Slacker's a real dick for a guy that's supposed to be laid back. Coach: Speaking of laying, DAMN Welsh Lolita's fine. Cole: She's terribly distraught right now! Coach: Hey, coochie ain't got no emotions yo. 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Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 (edited) ::Meanwhile backstage, Caboose is backstage following his heart wrenching promo about the OAOAST. Caboose is seen stopping for a kid to sign an autograph... ...Suddenly, out of nowhere, MISTER WARRIOR shows up and SHOULDERBLOCKS!!!!!!!!! the kid! Caboose: What the fuck?! MISTER WARRIOR: It is me Caboose, I am here Caboose, for your soul Caboose, it is mine now Caboose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Caboose: What the fuck did you do to that little kid?! MISTER WARRIOR: Oh sorry..., I mean, WAIT A MOMENT MORTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MISTER WARRIOR picks up the now crippled kid, licks his right index finger to check the wind direction, and lawn darts the little kid through the nearest wall! Caboose: What the hell are you doing?! You crazy sonofabitch! MISTER WARRIOR: Silence Caboose. Listen Caboose. It Is I Caboose. It is MISTER WARRIOR!!!!!!!!!!!! Caboose: I know who you are, you killed my father! MISTER WARRIOR: No Caboose. I am you father Caboose. Me Caboose. Call me daddy Caboose. Caboose: Shut the fuck up! You aren't my father! You are my Uncle! MISTER WARRIOR: Thats right Caboose. I am your uncle Caboose. But now I must teach you like a father Caboose. Caboose opens his brief case, pulls out his Cricket Bat and strikes MISTER WARRIOR across the face! But MISTER WARRIOR merely flinches, before starting to shake like a Hippy on Acid. MISTER WARRIOR: Come now Caboose. You know it takes more than that to destroy a MISTER WARRIOR such as myself Caboose. Caboose: What do you want anyway? MISTER WARRIOR: I want you to join me in the jungles of Guatemala Caboose. Where I can complete your MISTER WARRIOR training Caboose. Caboose: No. I left the deepest jungles of Guatemala a long time ago... MISTER WARRIOR: Yes Caboose. But it is your true home Caboose. Caboose: No my true home is in the rafters. MISTER WARRIOR: Never Caboose. In the rafters you shall never accomplice Destruicity Caboose. Caboose: Destruicity?! Let me tell you something about Destruicity... MISTER WARRIOR: You cannot tell me anything about Destruicity Caboose. Only a MISTER WARRIOR who has achieved Destruicity can speak about Destruicity Caboose. Caboose: Do you really have to say my name at the end of every sentence? MISTER WARRIOR: It's because I have reached Destruicity Caboose! Caboose: Look I really don't have time for this, you want to settle this in the ring next week? MISTER WARRIOR: No CABOOSE! I will not fight you Caboose. You are my flesh and blood Caboose. Caboose: Really? I'm fairly indifferent towards you apart from the whole killed my father thing. MISTER WARRIOR: I will not leave until you come with me to Guatemala Caboose. Caboose: Well I'm not coming, so get out of my way! MISTER WARRIOR: If you will not come willingly Caboose. I will be forced to destroy you and take you back and bring you back to life Caboose! Caboose: Isn't that a bit of a waste of time? MISTER WARRIOR: Probably Caboose. But I will not fail your father Caboose. Just like he wanted Caboose. You will be a MISTER WARRIOR like me Caboose! Caboose: Firstly my father had a restraining order against you, and secondly, I hate plane food! MISTER WARRIOR: Who said anything about flying to Guatemala Caboose? We will walk to Guatemala Caboose. Maybe catch the bus if it rains Caboose. Caboose: Look I'm gonna go now.... Caboose leaves the scene. MISTER WARRIOR: I'll be waiting for you Caboose. You will be a MISTER WARRIOR Caboose... Two workers walk by holding a sheet of glass. MISTER WARRIOR...Cool Glass! MISTER WARRIOR SHOULDERBLOCKS~! the glass!!!!!!! MISTER WARRIOR gets up, beats his chest, roars and runs off. Fade to commercial:: *** HeldDOWN~! returns from commercial, and Coach and Cole are at a loss for words. Coach: What the HELL was that? Cole: Um, Mister Warrior I guess. "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake kicks up, and the five members of Totally Endorsed hit the entrance ramp! Calvin Szechstein leads the charge, the 24/7 Title over his shoulder. Directly behind him are the Slacker and Terry Simmons, who are respectively handing out samples of Mountain Dew Livewire. In the back is Candie and Colvid, who are posing with the newest line from Abercrombie and Fitch. The five hit the ring, posing for a second before Calvin calls for a microphone and begins speaking. Calvin: "Fans of OAOAST. Welcome to heldDown!" The crowd pops as Calvin tosses the mic to Colvid. Colvid: "Brought to you by the wonderful people at Pepsi!" The crowd boos as Colvid tosses the mic to Candie. Candie: "This segment being brought to you by Twix - it's all in the mix!" The booing intensifies as Candie tosses the mic to Slacker. Slacker: "Tonight's main event brought to you by Cingular Wireless..." Slacker pauses, allowing the other four to crowd around him. TE: "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!" The crowd erupts in boos, some of them throwing full Pepsi cans at the ring! Unsure of what to do, TE just looks at each other for a second, before Simmons grabs the mic. Simmons: "Fans, please do not waste the Pepsi. People in Australia would die for it." The crowd bos even louder, but they stop throwing Pepsi at the ring, and satisfied, Simmons hands the mic back to Calvin. Calvin: "Tonight, fans, the people at Totally Endorsed will unveil the new-look OAOAST ring! You people have had to look at a ring like this for too long - peeling paint, blood in spots, plaing turnbuckle pads - what you need, right now, is something fresh! Something exciting! Much like Abercrombie and Fitch's summer line, which you can see on Candie and Colvid as we speak." Colvid and Candie pose, the crowd booing them as Calvin hands the mic to Slacker. Slacker: "Are you ready, fans? Right after this commercial break, the new ring will be unveiled. Stay tuned!" ...cut to commercial for Pepsi... ...fade back in, on a view of the now-empty ring - empty except for the new paint job! The canvas is now painted a psychadelic blue-white-red pattern, with a huge Pepsi logo plastered dead-center! The camera shifts to a wider view of the ring, and we can see the new ring apron - black, with an Abercrombie and Fitch logo! The camera does a pan of the whole ring to reveal the other three aprons - Coliseum Video, Rolex, and Versacci! We shift back to an in-ring shot to see the ring ropes painted like pencils, and we shift tothe turnbuckle pads, each of them advertising a different flavor of Doritos! The crowd, obviously very upset with the changes, boo the members of TE enormously as they stand atop the entrance ramp, grinning at their handiwork. Calvin: "You think this is great?" The crowd responds with an emphatic "NO WE DON'T!" chant, but Szechstein ignores it. Calvin: "Over the next few weeks we'll be making even more changes - this show will only get better, and Totally Endorsed is leading the charge!" All five TEers crowd around Calvin and the microphone. TE: "SUCK ON THAT, INTENSEZONE!" "Rock Your Body" kicks up and Totally Endorsed exits, leaving an angry crowd to watch them exit and boil over the corporations being shoved down their throats. Cole: Strong words from Totally Endorsed as Calvin and Colvid will now prepare for that #1 contender's match later tonight. Coach: Phat new ring. Edited May 9, 2003 by Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 (edited) KISS YO ASS GOODBYE~! Dream On hits and former two time, two time, OAOAST world champion ANGLESAULT makes his way to the ring amidst a huge amount of pyro. And booing. Can't forget that. He stops at the top of the ramp. Cole: Awful lot of talking this week. Coach: Show some respect for my main homie Anglesault! Cole: He called you "Bob" today, I doubt he even cares who you are. ANGLESAULT Ya know something, all week I've been hearing two things. One is that I lost to K-Money. Fuck that, I didn't lose to ANYONE. K-Money is a little insignificant fuckwad with an ugly bitch of a girlfriend who KNOWS what will happen when he pisses me off. So that's why he's taking his little "victory" and getting the fuck out of my way. (Big heat.) ANGlESAULT The other thing I've heard is that I'm afraid of Some Guy! Me! Ducking him! Folks, there is a REASON why he was always my lackie. I'm BETTER than him! But if he wants a piece of me, he can come right down here. In fact, you could say he should... Walk this Way... (You know the drill) ANGLESAULT BACKSTROKE LOVER ALWAYS HIDIN' 'NEATH THE COVERS CAN I TALK TO YA MY DADDY SAY HE SAID YA AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' 'TIL YOU'RE DOWN ON A MUFFIN THEN YOU'RE SURE TA BE A-CHAN'IN' YOUR WAY (Pause) ANGLESAULT Hey, look who hasn't come yet! I MET A CHEERLEADER WAS A REAL YOUNG BLEEDER OH THE TIMES I COULD REMINISCE 'CAUSE THE BEST THINGS IN LOVIN' WITH A SISTER AND A COUSIN ONLY STARTED WITH A LITTLE KISS LIKE THISSEESAW SWINGIN' WITH YOUR BOYS IN THE SCHOOL AND YOUR FEET FLYIN' UP IN THE AIR I SING HEY DIDDLE-DIDDLE WIT' YOUR KITTY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SWING LIKE YA DIDN'T CARE (Pause) ANGLESAULT Some Guy, who's the Pussy now? SO I TOOK A BIG CHANCE AT THE HIGH SCHOOL DANCE WITH A MISSY WHO WAS READY TO PLAY WAZZA ME SHE WAS FOOLIN' 'COZ SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOIN' AND I KNOWED THAT LOVE WAS HERE TO STAY WHEN SHE TOLD ME TOWALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY WALK THIS WAY (Music Stops) ANGLESAULT Ha! I told all of you that he wouldn't show. I'm not a coward, he is! HIM! I'm the HEARTBREAKER... (At the sound of that word, SEXY BOY hits) ANGLESAULT Son of a bitch. (AS runs the fuck off the stage before Some Guy even comes out. Anglesault is running down the side of the ramp and into the locker room. And the camera fades...As Some Guy never came out.) *** ::scene opens with a camera following Black Widow as she walks down a hall and into her locker room. She walks in and the lights are off, which isn't totally strange and out of place:: BW: Strange . . . (flips the light switch on . . . and SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER, scrambling back against the wall) ::The door flings open and Crystal barrels in, concern knitting her brows:: Crystal: (Grabbing Widow by the shoulders) Hey! HEY! Calm down . . . calm down, what's wrong? ::Widow's wide-eyed gaze leads Crystal to look back over her shoulder at the mirror . . . where scrolled in dark red lipstick is the word, G O O D B Y E:: Crystal: (quietly) Oh . . . my gosh. (She turns back to Widow) Are you alright? Was someone in here? Widow: (Blinks, and seems to finally be snapping out of it) N-no. No . . . not when I came in. (Widow narrows her eyes and walks over to the mirror, gently pressing her hand to it. Crystal: You know him better than anyone else . . . do you think he might be about to really try and hurt you? Widow: (Thinks a moment before lightly shaking her head) No . . . no, I think this is him . . . saying goodbye. There's alot more meaning than one word here . . . it's his way. I think he's saying he's finished with us . . . Crystal: (still pretty quiet) So, it's almost like a new beginning for you, isn't it? Widow: Something like that . . . yeah. Yeah, you could definitely say that. Crystal:(smiles slightly) Don't these events usually call for celebration? How, may I ask, are you celebrating? Widow: (Chuckles) I wouldn't know where to begin? But I am taking suggestions. Crystal: We had a hell of a match at LA, didn't we? I was wondering if you were interested in series of rematches maybe? No more interference, just clean wrestling. Widow: (Raises a brow and considers this for a moment before covering the distance between herself and Crystal. Widow smiles and leans in) 2 out of 3? If we get that far . . . we can wrap it up at School's Out. (Crowd Pops!) Crystal: You're absolutly right...if we make it that far. Widow: (Sticks her hand out) You're on, kid. I'll talk to Moysey and see you in the ring next week. Edited May 9, 2003 by Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 (Earlier Today) (Parka and PK are seen walking down a sidewalk talking. Parka has a cigar hanging out of his mouth as they walk along. PK is sporting a nice black eye from last week's HD) PARKA Man did you catch that crazy Blurricane fella on IZ? He cracks me up! PK Yeah he's crazy. He reminds me of someone, but I just can't put my finger on it. (They arrive to a building with a sign out front that reads: "Anger Management Class Today") PARKA This is the place. This better be good PK. I can't believe I agreed to do this. And who told the OAOAST Cameras to follow us along? PK I told them to. So the world can see that you're becoming a new man! PARKA Oh great now the whole world is going to witness my humiliation. Let's go I don't want to do this. (PK stops Parka from walking away and turns him back around. They walk inside) WOMAN Hello how are you today? I hope your having a hap hap happy day! (Gives Parka and PK a big smile) PARKA Don't ever say that to me again.... PK Parka don't forget why we came here. (Parka and PK receive nametags that read Leroy and Peter. PK sits down while Parka goes to the table that has coffee and donuts. An overly chipper man walks up to Parka) ROGER Hi my name is Roger....how are you...Leroy? PARKA .......I'm okay ROGER Who's your friend you came in with? PARKA That's Peter. We're partners. ROGER Partners? PARKA Yeah we wrestle. ROGER Ohhhh okay. Why are you here at Anger Management? PARKA I got beat by a guy in polka dotted shorts and pigtails so I beat him up with a chair...then my partner suggested I come here to change my attitude....why the hell do you ask so many questions? ROGER Now we don't condone such talk here...only happy words can be said at Anger Management. Now it seems to me you have a problem with violence. And we don't condone violence towards spouses, lovers, or "partners" here either. PARKA Excuse me?? ROGER Judging from the shiner your "partner" is sporting I'd say you have some issues. PARKA Who do you think you are? He's my tag team partner...we're wrestlers. He got that black eye in a match!!! ROGER Okay, okay you don't have to yell at me I'm not blind! (Parka balls his fist up, but goes and sits down beside PK before he loses his temper) PARKA I hate it here already. PK Come on man...just give it time. (Everyone sits down and a middle aged man in a pink polo shirt and cream colored slacks comes out) EDDY Hello everyone and welcome to this morning's class. Our regulars know me already, but for our new members let me introduce myself. My name is Eddy Kalm. I am your Anger Management Leader and Coach. I want to start with our breathing exercise. (Eddy makes over exaggerated hand movements as he speaks) Everyone together....Suck in the happy...blow out the pissed! (Everyone does the exercise) EDDY Good now I want to go ahead and break into pairs today. I want everyone paired up with someone they've never paired with. (Parka remains seated as everyone walks around. Soon a short middle aged man with thick glasses and a blank stare sits in front of him not saying a word. The two just stare at each other) PARKA ....are you going to say something? MILTON My my name is Milton..and and I'm ummm all I wanted was my stapler back, but they wouldn't give me my stapler back and I they kept moving my desk and I told them if they moved my desk again I'd burn the place down so I did and they found out and sent me here. No one was hurt and I just wanted my paycheck cause I had not got a paycheck in weeks and... PARKA (looking pissed) What?? I can't understand a word you're saying. What did you say about being stapled to your desk?? (Yelling is heard in the background as a fight breaks out. Parka jumps up to see what's going on) MILTON and I never wanted to come to this class but they said I had to come to this class and I told them I didn't want to cause I'm not an angry man I just want my stapler... (Two men are fighting as Eddy tries to break them up and PK watches on in amazement) EDDY No this isn't right...fighting is not allowed in this class. Suck in the happy...blow out the pissed!!! (A chair is swung wildly in Eddy's direction, but Parka grabs it before it hits him.) EDDY You saved me. I need to get out of here! (PK and Parka help Eddy get out of the building as a chair comes flying through the front window and sounds of fighting go on in the background) EDDY Thanks. I can't believe these guys. I can't do this class anymore! I'm better at one on one work! You two! Do you guys have a need for a coach or a manager? I could help get you focused for your matches! PARKA No no no I don't like that idea. PK Yeah we don't really need anyone else. EDDY I can get you anything. I know a very lovely woman who gives great massages! She can loosen you up before matches! PK Really? Hmmm...alright we'll give you a trial run, but don't get in our way! PARKA Massages huh? I might like this after all. Is she single? EDDY I think so. (Screen fades out as the three men walk down the street) Cole: That was interesting. Coach: Looks like the other two teams had better watch out for the Machines' backup man. Cole: Dude, he's a freaking hippie. Coach: He can annoy them to death then. Cole: Up next - HISTORY IN THE MAKING!! Crystal will be the first ever challenger to the OAOAST World Title! Coach: If Allison hadn't been in the room, Zack could have easily, you know, reasoned with her. Cole: Is that what you call it? Coach: Sometimes. But hey, Crystal's a hottie, I'd hit it. Cole: Okay, enough from you. *** ZACK MALIBU VS. CRYSTAL OAOAST WORLD TITLE MATCHUP "Just A Girl" by No Doubt starts up, and all the fans rise to their feet, welcoming Crystal with a huge ovation. The attractive-yet-aggressive superstar makes her way out, jogging through the smoke while red strobes glow throughout the arena. She jogs down to the ring, sliding in under the rope, then springing to her feet, looking out at all her fans with a smile. Crystal heads over to the turnbuckles, and jumps on the second rope, raising her arms in the air and nodding her head. She's ready for action. MC:"I'm in still a bit shocked to say this, but it's possible that that young lady in the ring right there could walk out of here the World Heavyweight Champion tonight!" Coach:"You know, some people are going to knock Zack for accepting the challenge, but I give him credit. All Crystal wants is to be treated like an equal around here. Zack's giving her that opportunity." Crystal warms up in the ring, as the lights go low. Some fans pop in anticipation, while many simply go silent. The view on the TV screens at home is of the AngleTron. The familiar visual of water dripping from a faucet, as the song begins... "How can you see into my eyes, like open doors..." The fans in the arena know what's coming. Those at home know what's coming. Crystal is ready for what is coming. BOOM! "Wake me up" *Wake me up inside* "I can't wake up" *Wake me up inside* "Save me" *Call my name and save me from the dark* Amidst the pyro, Zack Malibu and Alison come powerwalking out from the back. The cameras scatter the arena, focusing on pro-Zack signs like "Attack Me Zack!" Malibu and Alison head down to the ring, conversing. Zack still appears a bit weary about this situation. The music fades out, and Zack and Alison are still talking on the floor. Alison reassures him with a kiss on the cheek, and Malibu climbs up the steps and into the ring. Crystal is already standing in the center of the squared circle, and the two come face to face. Crystal extends her hand, and Zack quickly accepts. She quietly says "Don't worry" just before we hear the bell ring. The two circle each other, locking up in the center of the ring. Zack quickly grabs Crystal in a headlock, but she easily slips free of his grasp, and counters with a schoolboy (or in this case, schoolGIRL)! 1...2 Count! Coach:"Wow, give Crystal credit for not wasting any time!" MC:"Zack needs to focus on this. He can't be distracted here, and he can't doubt himself. This is the real deal, and the title is at stake!" As Zack gets up, Crystal meets him with a chop. She follows up with another one, and Zack still isn't really making an effort to block the shots. Crystal shouts "C'mon Zack!" at him. MC:"I can understand what he's thinking. He's spent his life defending girls from jerky guys. He doesn't want to feel hypocritcal." Coach:"But it's a competition now, and we could have the first female World Champion in history if he doesn't focus!" Finally, on the third chop attempt, Zack responds, slapping a chop of his own across Crystal's chest. She reels back, but then looks up and smiles. Zack extends his hand, and she slaps it approvingly. The two begin to circle each other again... It's on. Another lockup in the center of the ring. Crystal breaks free of Zack's grip then falls to the mat, sliding through his legs and coming up behind him with a waistlock. She elbows him twice in the back of the neck to stun him, but he slips out of her hold and carries her over with a hiptoss. Crystal gets right back up and charges, but gets carried over with an armdrag by the champion. As she slides on the mat, she again quickly springs up, and rushes Zack, grabbing him and flipping him over with a monkey flip! Zack manages to land on his feet, but as he turns back around, Crystal nails him with a dropkick that sends him stumbling backwards into the corner! Crystal comes over, jumping up on the second rope and looking to the fans to count along, as she unleashes punches on Zack... 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Zack shoves Crystal off, but she lands on her feet and comes at him again. This time, Zack is ready and ducks, backdropping her over the top rope, only to have her land on the apron! Crystal waits on Zack, then leaps up on the ropes, springboarding off the top rope and landing on Zack's shoulders, taking him down with a huracanrana! Crystal covers him as fast as she can! 1! 2!! KICKOUT! Close call, as she caught Zack off guard. She picks him up, and actually bodyslams him down. Crystal runs the ropes, bouncing off and flipping in mid air, landing on Zack's sternum senton style! MC:"Nice variation of a Rolling Thunder!" Crystal covers again, STILL only getting a 2 count! Coach:"She's definitely in it to win it tonight, Michael!" Crystal reaches down to pick Zack up, but Zack was playing possum! Small package! 2 Count! Kickout by Crystal! MC:"Zack is in it to win it too, Coach!" Both get back to their feet, and come at each other strong, again locking up. This time Zack breaks the hold by locking his legs around one of Crystal's, using a drop toe hold to get her on the mat. Zack immediatlely slides his legs out and reaches forward, grabbing Crystal in a facelock while she's on the mat, however she swings HER legs out so that she's in sitting position. Zack, maintaining a grip on her with a headlock tries to keep his momentum, but she gets to her feet, spinning out of the headlock so that she's facing Zack, and lifting him up, planting him with an inverted atomic drop! As Zack feels the effects of that move, Crystal hits the ropes, jumping up in the air and grabbing Zack by the head, before swinging around and dropping him with a DDT! Crystal sets Zack up near the ropes, and slingshots herself up so that she sits on the top rope, springboarding backwards with a SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT! COVER BY CRYSTAL! 1! 2!! Foot on the ropes! Zack got his foot on the ropes! Coach:"Wow, I'm impressed! Who would have known that that cute thing in the ring had so much determination." MC:"Stop checking Zack out, Coach. He's not like that." Coach:"What the...I meant CRYSTAL!" MC:"Well, in that case, never judge a book by it's cover." Crystal picks Zack up off the mat, holding him in a front headlock and calling for a DDT! Before she can drop him, Zack counters with a release Northern Lights Suplex, tossing Crystal over his head! Zack takes a second to get a grip on things, and as he sees Crystal get up, he bounces off the ropes and nails her with a flying forearm! Crystal rolls to the floor, dazed and trying to avoid defeat. Zack goes over to where Crystal is just starting to stand, and launches himself over the ropes with a pescado, but Crystal turns and moves at the last second! Zack goes splat on the floor, as Crystal moves the hair out of her eyes. She climbs up on the apron, looking out to the crowd, then back at Zack. When she sees him turning back towards her, she jumps off, again landing on his shoulders and sending him back to the floor, courtesy of a huracanrana from the apron! MC:"Great strategy by Crystal. She knows that Zack is a great mat technician, so by using her speed to her advantage, she can keep him at bay. If Zack can't get a hold of her, he can't beat her!" Crystal reenters the ring, followed soon enough by Zack, who is met as he climbs onto the apron by his opponent. Crystal staggers him with a forearm shot, but he quickly ducks the next one, shoulderblocking her in the ribs,and then slingshotting over her with a sunset flip! The referee comes over, and slaps the mat once...twice...KICKOUT! Crystal rolls out of the sunset flip, and grabs both of Zack's legs...FOR THE CRYSTALLING! Zack quickly reaches back for the ropes, able to grasp the bottom one just before Crystal could twist him onto his stomach. The referee calls for the break, and Crystal immediately obliges. She watches Zack pull himself up with the ropes, facing the crowd, and runs forward, pushing Zack off the ropes and rolling him up! Before the referee can even hit the mat once, Zack uses his leg strength to push Crystal off him, towards the ropes. He rolls backwards to his feet, and catches her coming off the ropes, drilling her into the mat with a powerslam! The referee makes the count...KICKOUT BY CRYSTAL~! The fans cheer wildly, proud of Crystal's determination. Zack picks her up, and goes for an Irish Whip to the corner, but Crystal counters it, sending Zack crashing into it instead. After a minute of catching her breath, she runs towards the corner and leaps forward, sandwiching Zack with her version of a Stinger Splash! With Zack dazed and leaning against the ropes, Crystal again backs up, and this time comes forward with a cartwheel, into a handspring elbow in the corner! Zack gets dazed by the elbow, but quickly locks his arms around Crystal's waist before she can move further away. He spins out of the corner, trying to throw her overhead with a German Suplex, but she lands on her feet! She spins Zack around and tries a clothesline, but Zack ducks. He turns and tries the same on her, only to have Crystal duck that! Crystal tries a spin kick on Zack, but he dodges it with the MATRIX DUCK~!, then as he comes up jumps and hits an enzugiri that sends Crystal falling forward into the corner! Zack lifts her up, setting her up on the top rope, facing out to the crowd. He climbs up on the second rope, and grabs her for a back suplex off the top, but midway through she shifts her body, with her arm wrapped around Zack's head and driving it into the mat, almost an inverted bulldog style manuever! MC:"Wow! Did you see that!" Coach:"She could have been finished if Zack hit that, but now he may be finished! We could be 3 seconds away from a new champion!" Crystal gets up, looking at Zack out on the mat. Rather than go for the cover, she heads over to the ropes, and signals for Diamond in the Rough~! MC:"Here it comes, it's a thing of beauty!" Crystal jumps up once, twice, and floats over with a moonsault...ONTO ZACK'S KNEES! ZACK GOT THE KNEES UP! Crystal is on all fours, her ribs hurting after the impact. Zack gets up and grabs her arm, then rolls her up with LA MAGISTRAL~! 1! 2!! 3~! Winner:Zack Malibu in 9:14 MC:"What an impressive match we just saw, on both counts. Crystal and Zack just put on a clinic here, showing why they are two of the very best." Coach:"Moreso than that, Crystal proved what some of us knew all along...that she can take it, as well as dish it out. That girl has skill, and she's going right to the top someday." Crystal is on her knees, still holding her ribs a bit. Zack comes over and offers a hand, pulling her up off the mat and into a hug that gets a huge pop. MC:"What a moment, huh Coach!? What a show of respect by these two!" Alison enters the ring as well, coming over to the two competitors. Zack and Alison each take one of Crystal's arms, and raise them up, allowing Crystal to bask in this moment. No matter the outcome, there is no denying that the Female Phenom of HeldDOWN, Crystal, has made quite the impact here tonight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 #1 Contender for the Tag Team Titles, to face Los Infernales at School's Out: Totally Endorsed v. The Dream Machines v. Boogie Knights 2k3 *Joy of Cola by Britney Spears starts as the team representing Totally Endorsed, Calvin and Colvid walk to the aisle, accompanied by the lovely Candie. The crowd greets them with a shower of boos. They are both wearing Nike sweat suits and are taking swigs from large bottles of PowerAde (Calvin is drinking blue raspberry, Colvid has lemonade-flavored.) They do their best Rocky impression as they get into the ring, hopping up and down with their arms raised and dumping whatever liquid is left in the bottles on their heads.* Cole: “These two seem very ready for the match tonight, Coach. And Calvin has smartly left the 24/7 title in the back.” Coach: “Think Candie rubbed them down before they came out here?” Cole: “......get your mind out of the gutter, Jonathan.” Candie: “Ladies and gentlemen, Totally Endorsed, in conjunction with Nike and Stacker 2, present: Your next OaOast World Tag Team champions, Calvin and Colvid!!” *More boos from the crowd. Their music fades and California Love takes its place. The familiar Camino bounces down the aisle, with Parka at the wheel and PK riding shotgun, but now there is a new passenger: Eddy Kalm, the team's new "coach". As the camera gets closer to the car, a recording can be heard: I am calm I am relaxed My world is free of trouble. Parka takes a deep, cleansing breath before turning the car off and exiting, causing PK to shake his head and slap Parka on the shoulder to snap him out of it.* Cole: “Guess Mr. Kalm has had an effect on at least ONE of the Dream Machines.” *The Machines enter the ring and Knight immediately stares at Calvin, obviously still angry at what happened at the PPV. The two teams argue until the arena goes dark and Kimodobegins. The flashy (and overly gaudy) SPIRIT LIFTER~! rolls down the aisle, neons flashing and L.E.Ds lighting up the ringside area. Some fans that have brought glowsticks hold them up in the air, making clusters of red and green light in the crowd. Kotz has to steer carefully to avoid the Camino, but (probably not accidentally) dings the fender. Knight begins to get pissed, but Eddy seems to have kept Parka in check. Kotz and Max climb out, still a little groggy from jet lag and hop into the ring.* Coach: “No glow stickiness this week, they mean business.” Cole: “Remember folks, this is elimination rules; once one member of a team gets pinned, the whole team goes home. The winner gets an OaOast World Tag Team title shot at School’s Out on May 25th.” Max Zorin and Colvid will start things off. They lock up and Colvid pushes Max into the corner. The ref asks for a release and counts to four before Colvid breaks. Calvin gets a cheap punch in while the ref is distracted and Kotz yells at the ref. Colvid grabs an armbar and tags in Calvin, who goes to work on it with elbows and an armbar. He taunts Kotz while applying the pressure and Candie applauds. Kotz steps through the ropes and the ref blocks his path, allowing the team from TE to work over Max some more. Calvin holds his arm flat on the mat and Colvid goes to the second rope and drops a knee on it. Colvid keeps on the arm and tags in Knight, who twists Max’s arm over his head and clotheslines him down. He picks Max back up by the hair but Max gets in a few left hands, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a dropkick to the teeth. Knight retreats and tags in Calvin, who pounces onto Max before he can tag Kotz. Calvin pounds the arm and whips Max into the corner, following up with a monkey flip, shaking the injured arm afterwards. Max slams Calvin and goes to the top, but Calvin moves out of the way of the moonsault and Max lands on his stomach and arm. Calvin goes in for the kill, but suddenly the crowd rises and looks towards the entrance. Coach: “What the hell?” Rando, Foshi, Paul Stanley and a few others stalk down the aisle, looking for some 24/7 gold. Calvin laughs while pointing to the back, saying “It’s not here, you jackasses.” Soon the rest of TE comes down to help remove the trio and Colvid goes to help. Calvin shakes his head and turns around, ready to finish the job….but Max has tagged in Parka and he kicks Calvin in the gut and picks him up, then drives him to the mat with a Day of the Dead!! He covers and Colvid, realizing what’s going on, slides into the ring but is met with a Knight right hand. 1… 2… 3! Calvin pinned by Parka at 7:54 (Totally Endorsed eliminated) Eddy applauds the elimination as Candie helps the TE duo to the back. Cole: “Well, there goes one team and now we’re down to two teams who have had an issue ever since they all debuted in the OaOast right before Anglemania II.” Kotz enters the ring to face Parka and they stare each other down. Kotz slaps him and Parka staggers back a bit, starting to get angry, but looks at Eddy and cools down. He instead retaliates with a WICKED chop to the chest and Kotz comes back with one of his own. They lock up and fight to the corner where Parka drives some knees into Kotz’s chest. He goes for a whip, but Kotz reverses and sends Parka into the opposite corner, following up with a dropkick. Parka flops to the mat and Kotz covers. 1… 2… Knight breaks the pin. Zorin comes in and brawls with Knight, causing the ref to try to break it up. Parka takes this opportunity to hit a low blow on Kotz to take control. Kotz becomes the face in peril for a few minutes as Parka works him over and Knight comes in at times where the ref is distracted. He gets a few 2 counts and becomes increasingly frustrated, causing Eddy to hop onto the apron and show him a picture of a puppy to help him cool off and focus. Parka whips Kotz into the corner but a charge hits nothing but buckle and Kotz scores with an enziguri. Both men crawl to their corners and tag in their partners. Zorin is a house afire on Knight with kicks and punches, but, when Zorin tries a whip with his bad arm, Knight pulls back on it and drags him back, scooping him up into position for the Knightmare!!! Before he executes it, he notices Eddy has hopped up next to Parka and is helping him in breathing exercises to calm him down. Knight: “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” The seconds Knight is distracted allow Max to recover and counter the move into a DDT, planting Knight into the mat. Kotz begs for the tag and Max obliges. Kotz goes up and, making an “I want the title around my waist” motion, jumps off with a frog splash onto Knight, a definite message to the champs. Zorin takes out Parka as the ref makes the count. 1… 2… 3! Knight pinned by Kotzenjunge at 14:23 (Dream Machines eliminated) Cole: “That’s it!!! The Boogie Knights will now go to School’s Out to face Los Infernales for the World Tag Team titles!!” Coach: “That finish was definitely a message to the champs, SpiderPoet in particular.” Cole: We'll catch you all next week on HeldDOWN~! For the Coach... Coach: Fuck you, whitey. I'll say goodbye for myself. Peace out, yo. Cole: And remember to watch that other show on Monday nights to see what all the talk is about on Castro Street! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted May 9, 2003 HeldDOWN~! © 2003 OAOAST Productions Executive Producer Anglesault Associate Producers Zack Malibu Kotzenjunge Writers Caboose FOSHI~ Zack Malibu CanadianChick The Amazing Rando Shattered Dreams Kotzenjunge VanSiclen31 Mad Matt Kingpk Anglesault SpiderPoet LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
