WWE wrestling lack of Logic

[Guest Trivia247]

Logic still absent from WWE writing

 

By Rennie Detore

TRIBUNE-REVIEW

Sunday, May 11, 2003

 

Even in the often imaginative world of sports entertainment, logic acts as a bridge between television shows that ultimately lead to pay-per-view payoffs. Without some coherency or sensibility, fans have little incentive to buy, watch or participate in anything associated with WWE.

 

Despite WWE's pleas to the contrary, John Q. Fan still wants a decent explanation as to why "Good Guy A" is quarreling with "Bad Guy A." But even more than that, the reasoning needs to be justified and supported by quality writing that doesn't demean its audience. The writing, instead, should cater to pro wrestling viewers as a group that doesn't want to be entertained at the expense of logistics.

 

A recent storyline involving the return of Hulk Hogan as the masked "Mr. America" provides a direct reason as to why WWE's fans have become a frustrated group of underlings held at bay by Mr. Vince McMahon.

 

Here's how the story goes: Stephanie McMahon hires "Mr. America" sight unseen and goes a step further by providing him with a contract that stipulates he cannot be fired. She later reasons with her father, Vince, that she had no choice but to do what she did, for fear that Eric Bischoff would snatch up this no-name for use on his show, "Raw."

 

Why would Bischoff or Stephanie seek out a superstar they, according to storylines concocted by WWE writers, have never seen? Professional wrestling fashions itself as a sport on par with baseball, football or basketball, then why not treat it as such?

 

No NBA, NFL or MLB general manager would hire a player without first meeting him or, at the very least, seeing what he could do on the court, gridiron or field, respectively. So, why would a professional wrestling general manager in the same vein as McMahon or Bischoff do the same?

 

Think back to Brian Kendrick and his passionate ploys to earn a spot on Smackdown's roster. He wrestled a five-minute challenge with Kurt Angle and eventually lost to the then-WWE champion. In those few minutes, Kendrick displayed heart, determination and a green, yet workable, wrestling ability.

 

Stephanie, as GM of "Smackdown," presumably saw what Kendrick could do but still looked the other way. Yet that same GM mailed "Mr. America" a contract without so much as a glimpse of him or his repertoire.

 

Confused? Me too. Kendrick offers his body as a punching bag to Angle, and "Mr. America" walks into WWE without so much as a physical.

 

Vince's mentality as the angle unfolds resonates to the tune of payoff over pickiness. The sports entertainment czar just assumes that once fans get a glimpse of "Mr. America" and realize that he's Hogan under the mask, they'll forget that Stephanie still signed someone to a sweet deal without knowing who he is, why he's headed to WWE and what he would do once he got there.

 

Part of the logic problem hinges on the roster split, or lack thereof. McMahon's writing staff only remembers the would-be monumental occasion when its convenient, such as last Thursday on "Smackdown" when Steph pleaded her laughable "Mr. America" contract with dear, old dad.

 

Other than the convenience, the roster split, along with the jobs of Bischoff and Stephanie, are demeaned too often and aren't portrayed as legitimate heads of respective brands. Instead, Bischoff and Stephanie are mere pawns for Linda and Vince McMahon, the former being one of the more mundane characters in WWE history. The latter, of course, being the most overexposed.

 

Also forgotten as the roster split nears its one-year anniversary is the curiousness between shows. Gone are the moments of Bischoff wondering what Steph's doing, and vice versa, because someone inexplicably came up with the idea that the rosters should be frozen. Wasn't the entire allure of the split supposed to surround the idea of trades or jockeying for incoming talent, other than a guy under a mask?

 

Maybe when Paul Heyman lost his spot as head "Smackdown" writer, he took the idea of logical storylines with him.

 

A police report obtained by TheSmokingGun.com stated that Cobb County, Ga., authorities found more than 1,700 pills at Lex Luger's home after his residency was searched following the death of Elizabeth Hulette. Many of the pills were controlled substances such as steroids, painkillers and growth hormones. The Cobb County Ga., police department also released details of Luger's 911 call the night Hulette died.

He stated that "his girlfriend" passed out while they were eating. He went on to say that she started "gurgling." Later, Luger told authorities that Hulette had two glasses of vodka and took some pain medicine for her back. Luger informed the 911 operator that he attempted CPR but only heard gurgling.

 

The condition Luger described is known as cafe coronary -- when a victim drinks alcohol and loses coordination while eating, leading to choking and eventual asphyxiation. The exact cause of Hulette's death won't be known until toxicology reports are released in about one month.

 

Former WCW cruiserweight Ultimo Dragon told the Japanese media that he would debut on WWE at next Sunday's "Judgment Day" pay-per-view. Ultimo retired a few years ago after reported botched elbow surgery left his arm at less than full strength.

 

* Link: Original article/Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

[Guest Memphis]

Wow. Vince's stupidity is THAT out of control it's now making headlines.

 

Only one thing left for Vince to do now...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hire Lex Luger.

 

M

[Guest AndrewTS]

Shame it wasn't the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

 

But the story is true, it's DAMN true.

[Guest Cerebus]

Even in the often imaginative world of sports entertainment, logic acts as a bridge between television shows that ultimately lead to pay-per-view payoffs. Without some coherency or sensibility, fans have little incentive to buy, watch or participate in anything associated with WWE.

Couldn't put it better myself.