Favourite simpsons quotes

[Guest redbaron51]

Homer: Moe I need your advice

Moe: What is it Homer?

Homer: I have this friend named, Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabado

Moe: Thats the worst name I have ever heard

(Joey Joe Joe runs out of the bar crying)

Barney: Wait, Joey Joe Joe!

 

Mr. Hutz: Oh oh, we've drawn judge snider

Marge: Is that bad?

Mr. Hutz: Well he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.

Marge: You did?

Mr. Hutz: Well, replace the word kinda with repetidly and dog with son.

[Guest Mr.Perfect]

"Best quote everrr." Comic book guy

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

Ralph: I bent my wookie!

 

Homer: If the bible has taught us nothing else (and it hasn't) its that girls should stick to lady sports, such as mud wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such.

 

Homer: mmmmm sacreligous

[Guest Smues]

When the guys form a motorcycle gang. Lenny is driving a riding lawnmower

"Will you guys slow down? I gotta empty my grass bag"

 

Homer: "Homer's Odessy!?! OOO is that about the time I rented that astrovan??"

[Guest razazteca]

Homer:  "I'm down to a B cup" from the episode when the baseball team was leaving town

[Guest toggle]

Homer:"In your face space coyote!" When he finds out he and Marge really are soul mates.

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

Marge: "Work called, they said if you don't come in today then you needn't bother coming in on Monday."

 

Homer: "Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!"

[Guest JAMES900]

Homers inner child: Food goes in here *points to mouth*

Homer: it sure does

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

"But Aqua-man you cannot marry a woman without gills, YOU'RE FROM TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS!" -CBSG

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"And hall of famer whitey ford on the field pleading with this crowd for, for some kind of sanity... OOOH! and a barage of pretzels knocks whitey unconscious." -Announcer #1

 

"This is a black day for Baseball" -Announcer #2

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"So, what are we going to do?"- Homer

"Oh, wouldnt you like to know?" - Mr. Burns

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"So son, where were you today?" -Homer

"I was out with Milhouse"- Bart

"No you weren't, you were out gallavanting around with that floozy of a big brother of yours... HAVENT YOU! HAVENT YOU!!! LOOK AT ME!"

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Oh.... You'll see.."

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"Smithers, do you think that maybe the nuclear waste from my plant killed those ducks?"

"Theres no maybes about it sir."

"*sniff* Excellent..."

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"Kids these days listen to the RAP music, which gives them the brain damage. With the hippin and a hoppin and a bippin and a bobbin, and they dont know what the JAZZ is all about.  YAZEEEEEEEEEE, jazz is a lot like jella puddin, no wait, its a lot like kodak film, no wait, its like the new coke, it'll be around fer ever." - The cOZ. Aka, the notorious C.O.Z.

[Guest JAMES900]

Ranier Wolfcastle trying to learn Radiactiveman lines

 

Ranier: Up and at them

Helper: Up and atom

Ranier: Up and At Them

Helper: Up and Atom

Ranier: UP AND AT THEM

Helper: .... Better

 

Lisa Talking to bart

Lisa: If you could come back as animale what would it be

bart: The butterfly

Lisa: Why?

bart: becasue no one suspects the butterfly.

 

*Cut to picture of the school burnt down with WIggum taking Skinner away*

 

Skinner: it wasn't me the butterfly did it.

Wiggum: Sure he did

 

*Shows a butterfly with barts head holding a gas can*

 

Bart: Muhahahaha

[Guest Stupendous Man]

Homer: Oh...a twenty dollar bill...but I wanted a peanut.

Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.

Homer: (dubious)Explain how.

Brain: Money can be traded for goods or services.

Homer: WOO HOO!

[Guest JAMES900]

Homer finds a winning lottery ticket

 

Homer: Apu I want to buy a yodel and this lottery ticket

 

Apu: You don't have money for both.

 

*Homer looks at Ticket and yodel*

 

Homer:.... Yodel

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

Lisa has invented a perpetual motion machine -

 

Homer: Lisa! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

Oh, and for anyone who finds Homer's "mmm..." lines entertaining - the full list:

 

Mmmm... Apple

Mmmm... Barbecue

Mmmm...Beer

Mmmm... Beer Nuts

Mmmm... Bowling Fresh

Mmmm... Burger

Mmmm... Business Deal

Mmmm... Candy

Mmmm... Caramel

Mmmm... Chicken

Mmmm... Chocolate

Mmmm... Convenient

Mmmm... Crumbled-up Cookie Things

Mmmm... Cupcakes

Mmmm... Danish

Mmmm... Donuts

Mmmm... Elephant Fresh

Mmmm... Fattening

Mmmm... Fifty Dollar Pretzel

Mmmm... Fish

Mmmm... Foot-long Chili Dog

Mmmm... Forbidden Donut

Mmmm... Free Goo

Mmmm... Grapefruit

Mmmm... Gummi Beers

Mmmm... Ham

Mmmm... Hamburgers

Mmmm... Hippo

Mmmm... Hog Fat

Mmmm... Hors Do-Vers (Hors D'oeuvres)

Mmmm... Hug

Mmmm... Incapacitating

Mmmm... Invisible Cola

Mmmm... The Land Of Chocolate

Mmmm... Loganberry

Mmmm... Marge

Mmmm... Marshmallows  

Mmmm... Me

Mmmm... Mediciney

Mmmm... Memo

Mmmm... Open Faced Club Sandwich

Mmmm... Organized Crime

Mmmm... Ovulicious

Mmmm... Pancakes

Mmmm... Pi (pie)

Mmmm... Pointy

Mmmm... Potato Chips

Mmmm... Purple

Mmmm... Recirculated Air

Mmmm... Sacrelicious

Mmmm... Salty

Mmmm... Shrimp

Mmmm... Sixty-four Slices of American Cheese

Mmmm... Slanty

Mmmm... Snouts

Mmmm... Something

Mmmm... Soylent Green

Mmmm... Spaghetti

Mmmm... Sprinkles

Mmmm... Strained Peas

Mmmm... Sugar Walls

Mmmm... Turbulent

Mmmm... Unexplained Bacon

Mmmm... Unprocessed Fish Sticks

Mmmm... Urinal Fresh

[Guest]

DOH!

[Guest Jericholic82]

From when Homer gets the crayon taken out his brain, at the library with Lisa

 

"I read everything from "Hop on Pop" to (somethin).  It's so tragic the way they hopped on pop."

 

MOE SYSLAK?  "That's right, I'm a surgeon."

 

 

MMMMMM HUG

 

That was a funny ep.

[Guest godthedog]

homer: (something something something)...unless they take us to that horrible planet of the apes.  wait...statue of liberty...that was our planet!  (screaming at the sky)  you maniacs!  you blew it up!  damn you!  damn you all to hell!

[Guest crandamaniac]

Ralph Wiggum: "Me Fail English? That's unpossible"

 

 

Ralph Wiggum: "That's where i found the leprechaun" (points to a rock)

Bart: "Leprechaun, right?"

Ralph:"He tells me to burn things"

[Guest]

Homer: And that's when the C.H.U.D.'s came after me.

 

Marge: Homer, there's more to New York City than pimps and C.H.U.D.'s.

 

[Guest Jericholic82]

treehouse of horror 11 during the fairy tale vstory

 

Marge:  you threw away our children ,why you coulda sold them (points to maggie outside with a sign reding will trade for food or somethin)

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

Homer: (in the car w/ somebody) "...and I'm not easily impressed - OOOH A BLUE CAR!"

 

Ned: "I don't need to be told what to think...by anybody living."

 

Lisa: (on the phone w/ Bart) "You could be a courier, they get to fly for free...no, that's a terrier, it's a dog"

 

Homer: "Barney, you have to be sober to fly a helicopter.  It's not like driving a car."

 

Kent Brockman: "Thanks to Homer Simpson, we'll ALL be taking golden showers!"