WWE Judgement Day 2003:

[Guest nWoScorpion]

WWE JUDGEMENT DAY 2003! (5-17-03)

 

- Same Little Girls Disturbing Nursery Rhyme opens the video montage for the PPV for the 4th time in a row I think.

 

- Live From Charlotte, North Carolina!

 

- Brought to you by J.R., Lawler, Cole, and Tazz!

 

- Steve Austin comes out to open the show and says he will be viewing the show in the luxery box. He goes through the crowd to drive the point home he cares for the fans.

 

- Opening Six-Man Tag Team Match:

Chris Benoit, Rhyno, Spanky Vs. John Cena, Johnny Stamboli, Chuck Palumbo:

On Paper this looks good. Faces clear the ring rather quickly, and Cena hammers away at Spanky. Cena gets vicious and rams a stiff elbow to the jaw. Spanky fights back and nails an eniguri, and the FBI come in and give Spanky a double powerbomb-like maneuver. FBI split the legs of Spanky and Stamboli stomps a mud-hole in the corner. Palumbo with a big right sends Spanky down and we get more stomping. Palumbo with a bearhug for two. Another bear hug in a TAG MATCH. Spanky tries fighting out and succeeds, but Palumbo clotheslines him out of his funky ring attire. Hurricanrana sends Palumbo out and Benoit tags in and goes to work. Snap suplex to Cena, and he nails a series of release Germans on Chuck & Cena. Benoit goes upstairs and nails the swan headbutt. Nunzio interferes, and gets gored! Spanky with the tag and he nails a missile drop-kick to Cena. Slice Bread #2 is blocked and Palumbo with a back breaker and Stamboli with a decapitation leg drop for three at 3:57. ** They gave this four minutes, and didn't even have Rhyno in the match officially!!! Match was good, with no real rest holds (Palumbo just tried to show he can over power Spanky with a bear hug) and a pretty quick paced match.

 

- Stone Cold & Eric Bischoff have a little half of this is mine gag, so Austin gives Bischoff half his beer, and makes him eat a hot dog. Beer is splashed everywhere when Austin smacks his plastic cup.

 

- Scott Steiner & Test (w/ Stacy) Vs. La Resistance (Sylvain Grenier & Rene Dupree):

I probably spelled the names wrong but...I don't give a f**k. I was tempted to call the unlikely team of Test & Steiner "Roided Testicles" but I just realized that if your on the 'roids, your testicles shrivel up like prunes, so I won't name them. I'm all for pushing new talent, but putting them against dead weight on their first PPV match is not a good way to start. I know, Test can be good when motivated, and that's my case! When he isn't motivated, he sucks, and that's almost all the time. Judging from this match, Steiner no longer cares about being in the main event..or even close to it. Test has been teasing a heel turn lately. Dupree starts with Test, and he slaps him, so Test slaps him sending him on his ass. Test works him in the corner with the usual and nails Grenier. Steiner in and...the crowd cheers?! BOO! Dupree eats buckle and Steiner slaps the ever-loving shit out of his chest and back. Big clothesline and a forearm to Grenier. Elbow drop to Dupree...and he does some push ups. Grenier with a cheap shot, and its no sold, so Dupree dumps Steiner. Grenier rams him into the ring and Dupree covers for two. Double suplex gets two and Grenier works the headlock. Steiner tries a comeback but gets a boot in the face. Second rope clothesline by Grenier gets two. Dupree in and Steiner catches him with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Test gets the tag and clotheslines Grenier. Side walk slam to Dupree, and he clotheslines everyone. Pump handle is reversed, so Test with a full nelson slam for two. Flair pin gets two for Dupree, so Test fights them both off. T-bone Suplex to Grenier, and Test with a pump handle slam. Stacy on the apron wakes up the crowd. Grenier drop-kicks Test into Stacy, and Steiner saves her. Roll up on Test gets two. Steiner makes the tag and catches Dupree with a downward spiral! Grenier nails Steiner, and test nails Steiner with a big boot my mistake. Test gets posted, and La Resistance with a Flap Jack for the CLEAN win at 6:18!! 3/4* Not totally bad, considering SCOTT STEINER is in the match. Stacy comes in to check on Steiner, but Test doesn't like it and drags her off like he's Randy Savage and she's Elizabeth.

 

 

- Gregory Helms runs into Mr. America backstage. Well, we got a news reporter whos a super hero, and a some-what super-hero who is the greatest WWF entertainer (not wrestler) of all time. America ends it with a brother.

 

- Eddie Guerrero brings in his partner to replace Chavito for the tag team ladder match, and its NOT a spanish guy! It's Tajiri! Everyone knew the Guerreros would win here, but with Chavito out, maybe they'd change that.

 

- Kurt Angle Commercial. I think we've all seen this and it just goes over all the titles and matches he's won.

 

- WWE-Smackdown Tag Team Titles; Ladder Match:

Team Angle © Vs. Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri:

Odd couple here, if I may say so. I would have picked Rey Misterio as the partner, but NOT Tajiri, who it seems has been jobbing to everyone and their mother and has completely disappeared from WWF Television for a while this year. Benjamin jumps Eddie outside and whips him into the ladder, while Tajiri works Haas in the ring and nails a spinning heel kick. Benjamin puts him down and they double team Tajiri. Double back elbow by Team Angle, and Eddie comes back to the action. Benjamin slugs him down and press slams him onto Haas' knee for a gut buster. Ladder comes in to play and Tajiri with a springboard onto Haas. Guerrero tries his luck and Shelton side steps him. Team Angle set up the ladder and BOTH climb up. Tajiri with the springboard elbow topples the ladder and team angle along with it. baseball slide into the ladder sends Benjamin out, and Eddie stomps away at Haas. Baseball slide sends the ladder into Haas' crotch and another ladder comes in. Forearm by Eddie sends Haas on to the ladder, and Tajiri covers him with the other, so Eddie with a sunset splash onto the ladder on Haas. Tajiri sets up the ladder and goes for it, but Benjamin pulls him down, and his head hits the ladder on the way down! Benjamin goes up now and Eddie drop-kicks him off. Benjamin reverses an Irish whip into a powerslam on Eddie onto a ladder set up in the corner. Tajiri sent to the ladder and Shelton with a powerslam. Haas lays Tajiri onto the ladder, and Shelton Benjamin with an ass splash off one ladder across Tajiris back on top of the other ladder!! Haas goes for the gold, but Eddie shoves it over and Haas goes flying over the top rope. Eddie puts Shelton down with the ladder, but gets whipped into the buckle with a ladder sandwiched between the ropes! Tajiri drop-kicks a ladder into Benjamin's face, and goes ape shit on everyone with kicks. Tajiri rams both men with the ladder and double clotheslines them with it. Tarantula to Haas, and it lasts a while cause no DQ! Benjamin breaks it by slamming a ladder right into Tajiris face! Haas hammers on Eddie and Team Angle go back to double teaming him. Eddie with a monkey flip sends Benjamin into a ladder being held by Charlie Haas! Benjamin gets back dropped to the outside and Haas gets dumped as well. Eddie sets up the ladder...and Haas comes in as well as Shelton, but neither can stop him. Haas climbs the other side. Eddie rams his head into the ladder a few times...sends Benjamin to the ground, and nails a frog splash off the ladder!!! Haas climbs back up as does Guerrero...and Eddie with the sunset flip Powerbomb from the top of the ladder!!!! Crowd is totally behind Eddie here, and he slowly climbs the ladder...Tajiri climbs up too...Eddie grabs the belts! New Tag Team Champions at 14:17!!! ***3/4 Really good match, better then some of the recent tag ladder matches we've seen. Crowd was hot for most of the match, and everyone used the ladders for something not as stale as most of the Hardyz/E&C/Dudleyz moves with them were. I wouldn't go higher though because the match was just spots and brawling with not much story, but still quite entertaining.

 

- Austin forces Bischoff to eat one more disgusting hamburger, and forces him to drink another beer...a LITE!?! Bischoff drinks like me, a wuss, so Austin grabs another, and pours it down Stone Cold style.

 

- Chris Jericho is ready for an interview with Terri...and Roddy Piper comes in making noises a retard makes...which is somewhat funny. Jericho tells Piper to take his old man ass back to the senior citizens home. Jericho rubs in the fact that Piper pulled off the kids leg from smackdown, then brings up a leppar and two midgets. Jericho wants to know what he did with the leg, and suggests Piper ate it, then pats his stomache. Jericho is still funny.

 

- WWE Intercontinental Championship Video Package shown from when the title was "Retired" back in October. Just like wrestlers, a titles retirement is never fully done. The video still brings a tear to my eye. (Well, not really, I don't cry, but it's nice nostalgia). Title started losing it back in 1999, for obvious reasons. And no, not because of Chyna, just in general.

 

- WWE-Intercontinental Championship; Battle Royal:

Participants: Val Venis, Chris Jericho, Goldust, Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Christian, Test, Booker T, Kane:

I Really hate doing battle royals, since there is no real way to call the action, which is why I prefer to just watch them. Kane, RVD, Booker & Goldust all get pretty good pops. Having Booker T in the match though kills the fact that all participants had to be Intercontinental Champion. But since all the black IC Champs have been fired or left to make movies, they had to put a non-champion in. Kane & RVD brawl while everyone watches, and of course, everyone attacks Kane. Kane fights them all off, and quickly disposes of Lance Storm (0:44). Everyone gangs up on Kane again, and finally toss him out (1:07). Kane is pissed, so he nails Goldust, Booker, Test, Val, and everyone else. Christian gets a side walk slam, Test eats chokeslam, as does Venis..and Kane chokeslam his own partner RVD! Booker tosses Test quickly after (1:50) and Goldust chucks Venis (1:56). Christian dumps RVD, and Jericho with the springboard drop-kick eliminated him (2:07). Already down to the final four. Duet mounted punches and Goldust nails Christian from the second rope. Vitamin C take over and Jericho with a back suplex on Goldust. They continue double teaming Goldust and nothing of note happens. Double slap to the face by Goldust followed by a double bulldog. Everyone gets hung up, and Goldust with the shattered dreams to BOTH Jericho & Christian! Side kick to Jericho, and Booker with a spinarooni! Goldust attacks (!) and tries dumping him, but Booker T reverses it and Goldust is gone (4:50). Booker hammers Jericho in the corner until Christian attacks. More double teaming. Double suplex connects, and Jericho talks shit. Jericho dances and hammers Booker and clotheslines him in a "hold him and I hit him spot" and he doesn't hit Christian! Book fights back but no dice. Booker blacks-up on everyone, and Jericho skins the cut but obviously cut his nose on the rope. Slam by Christian, and Jericho goes for the lionsault..but Christian dumps him! (8:18) Drawing a big face pop. Christian continues beating on Booker T like he;s Rodney King but gets nailed by a flying forearm. Spinning heel kick by Booker followed by a flap jack. Christian with a takedown, and we get a REFEREE BUMP in a BATTLE ROYAL. Christian tries a un-prettier, but Booker breaks it, and dumps Christian out...but the referee is out. Christian nails Pat Paterson, who is presenting the belt to Booker, uses the belt on Booker, and dumps him for the REAL win at 11:49. 1/4* Yes, they had a SCREWJOB ending in a BATTLE ROYAL. I never thought it was possible, but WWE proved me wrong. Battle Royal sucked, but not bad enough for a DUD.

 

- Bikini Contest:

Sable challenges Torrie Wilson:

Torrie's theme is sung by Lilian Garcia, which sucks. Sable poses in her bikini for possibly 5 minutes, and she jsut looks old when she does some of her squatting. Torrie has a traditional bikini on, which gets boo's, so she opts for her second choice, which is probably the smallest bikini allowed without showing anything. Waste of 15 minutes.

 

- Austin continues making Bischoff eat Burgers & Pizza, and gives him another beer to drink. Austin gives him some jalupeno peppers and Bischoff thinks they are pickles. Austin gives him the jar and Bischoff DRINKS IT. He takes a few more sips of beer as this is possibly the only good backstage angle of the night thus far.

 

- Roddy Piper & Sean O' Haire are in Mcmahons office, and Mcmahon kinda kisses his ass, yet, doesn't in a good way. More like putting the weight of the world on his shoulders.

 

- Footage from Smackdown when Tenacious Z (Zach Gowan) posed as a fan, who jumped the rail to stop the unmasking of Mr. America. Piper tried attacking him more then he did by dragging him back in the ring, but pulled off his prosthetic leg...in the BIGGEST Asshole moments I have ever seen.

 

- Mr. America Vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (w/ Sean O'Haire):

Knowing how both men work these days, lets hope its a short match, and trust me, it is. America has real American as his theme music, which kisses my ass because it's my favorite of all time. Mr. America has a steel chair with him and introduces Zach to ringside. Piper & O'Haire put the boots to America as the bell sounds. O' Haire with some cheat shots from the outside behind the referees back. America blocks being sent to the buckle, and sends Piper into it instead and hammers away. Mounted corner punches by America, he pulls the mask up...bites him, and continues the pounding. America blocks an O'Haire cheap shot and slams his head into the announce stable and chokes him with his weightlifting belt. Piper has the belt and wails on America with it, but America no sells, and whips Piper like a dog with it. O'Haire drapes America's throat across the top rope, and Piper applies the sleeper hold! America "Americas-Up" and we know what's going to happen. Finger wag and America with three roundhouse rights, and one to O'Haire. Big Boot connects! Mr. Mcmahon comes out now, and Piper with a low blow. O'Haire has a lead pipe now, and he takes a swing...and nails Piper!! America sends O'Haire packing and drops the leg on Piper for three at 4:54! Zach holds Mcmahon from stopping the count * Short and inoffensive here. Mr. America celebrates after the match.

 

- Video Package for the upcoming world title match between Triple H & Kevin Nash.

We all know it's going to suck so lets just hope it's kept short like America/Piper.

 

- WWE-World Heavyweight Championship Match:

Triple H (c-w/ Ric Flair) Vs. Kevin Nash (w/ Shawn Michaels):

Everyone gets separate entrances, fucking egomaniacs. Everyone brawls in the aisle and HBK fights Flair to the back. Nash whips HHH into the steel steps and is it me, or is HHH starting to show some balding? Match starts finally and Nash with an elbow. Knee lifts in the corner by Nash and he back drops the game. Nash chases HHH and makes him eat post. Back in the ring and Nash with a big boot. Slam by Nash and he nails an elbow drop, followed by another, and another! Nash still hasn't done any running. Eye rake by HHH and he shoves Hebner. Nash with a clothesline but gets caught with a swinging neck breaker. HHH looks so fruity in purple, and eats a clothesline because of it. Nash hammers away and shoves the ref, so the referee MESSES WITH HIS HAIR! BAH GAWD THAT PISSED HIM OFF!! More cat and mouse. ANOTHER referee bump and HHH casually kicks Nash in the genitals. HHH removes the turnbuckle pad but Nash won't go for it and instead opts to nail HHH with a side walk slam. Big boot and Nash calls for the ending. Ref shoved AGAIN! And Nash eats the exposed steel to cheers. Pedigree! Hopefully Nash tore his quad. Pinfall only gets a two count. Nash backdrops HHH outside, so HHH says fuck it, grabs his sledgehammer, and nails Hebner for the cheap DQ at 7:47. Nash beats the crap out of HHH and PowerBombs him through the RAW announce table at the end. DUD. Of course you know the reason but if not, it SUCKED. Same formula as HHH/Steiner from the rumble, except 10 minutes shorter and the crowd didn't turn on Nash completely.

 

- Bischoff finishes his night off by eating more peppers and sitting up out the box window all over the crowd! Instant Replay is of course shown, because WWE loves being digusting.

 

- WWE-Womens Championship Match:

Jazz © Vs. Trish Stratus Vs. Jacqueline Vs. Victoria:

I Really don't care about women's matches, and this one being done almost exactly the same as Armageddon (plus Jazz), it's not that original. Jackie & Jazz and Trish & Victoria is the pairings. Double drop-kick sends out the heels, so Trish and Jackie go at it. Trish with a headlock and Jackie reverses to an armbar take over. Trish kips up and gets tripped up by Victoria. Jazz hammers Jackie but gets worked on while Victoria knocks Trish out and I guess that's when Trish chipped her tooth. Victoria with a spinning side slam for two on Jackie. Jazz with that weird face first slam on both Jackie & Victoria, and Trish back in and hammers Jazz, and connects with a flying clothesline for two. Jazz blocks the chick kick and applies the STF. Jackie takes down Victoria and applies a half-crab. I expected a double tap out, but no dice. Jazz locks the STF on Victoria now, and Trish drop-kicks Jazz off. Stevie saves Victoria from the nothing she;s become and Jazz goes back to stiffing Trish. GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTERS. Trish goes matrix style and nails the high kick for two. Trish with several hurricanranas and tries the bulldog, but Victoria sends her out and THAT'S where she chipped her tooth. Jazz casually DDT's Jacqueline to retain at 4:46. * Not as good as the recent Women's title matches on PPV.

 

- Video Package for the Brock/Show stretcher match, as it's the first stretcher match in the WWE for "17 years", even though the last one I remember was Andre/Kahn and that was 1981 I thought. I guess I fucked up on my dates.

 

- WWE-World Championship; Stretcher Match:

Brock Lesnar © Vs. Big Show:

To win you must drag your opponent on a stretcher across a tape that is making a yellow line. Everyone knows Brock's winning, cause whenever they hype the shit out of someone being unable to be beaten, they lose. Brock hammers Show out of the gate and nails him with that piece of stretcher a few times and dumps him over the top rope. Brock continues to motivate his ass with it but Show says "I'm not selling for anyone" and knocks Brock on his ass. Show tries ramming Brock into the post, but Brock moves and Show hits himself. Brock rams a stretcher into Show, knocking him down. Show fights back and slams Brock onto the ladder. Back in the ring and Show plants Brock with a chokeslam. Show places Brock on a piece of stretcher and leg drops him!! Show goes for the win..but Brock stops it, but gets clotheslined hard and sells it like its Smackdown 4. Show with the stretcher shot again. Brock hammer Show up the entrance way and the stretcher is being over used as a weapon. Show has some camera cables and chokes the fat bastard out. Brock tries for the win, but Show is just too fat, and Brock falls on his ass trying and also attempts to murder Show because the cables were hooked into the walls and they didn't give. Brock uses the entrance set to mule kick Show and he spears him on the floor. Lesnar with a slam on Show onto the stretcher! Show wins the reverse tug of war and sends the stretcher into Brock...several times. Show slams Brocks back into the ring post, and another stretcher board is used to hurt Lesnar. Brock back in the ring, and he comes out of nowhere with a tackle sending Show off the apron right onto the stretcher!! Brock goes bye bye, and Rey Misterios theme hits...and attempts a run in, and nails a 619 to the GROIN, but gets caught with a clothesline. Brock comes out with a DAMN forklift (mocking Cole) and Rey with a choke hold on Brock. Lesnar on top of the fork lift and he nails Show with a flying clothesline!! Brock snaps and thrusts Show in the corner a few times and VERTICAL SUPLEXES THE BIG SHOW! Brock calls for the end, and its the F-5!!! Brock has Show out cold. Brock loads Show onto the stretcher, loads THAT onto the fork lift, and cross the line with him in midair to retain the championship at 15:27. **1/2 match surprisingly was good! Thanks to the special stipulations, Shows weakness of having no real offense and Brocks weakness of being unable to carry people in straight wrestling matches, were all hidden.

 

Final Analysis: I was not expecting this to be a good show. I mean, it wasn't THAT good, but still, I expected it to be worse than KOTR 1995. I enjoyed it for the most part, but can't say I'd recommend this.

 

Thumbs Slightly Down on a shockingly decent show.

[Guest bob_barron]

***3/4 for the ladder match??

 

Tajiri fucking up a plancha, Haas looking like a total pussy taking the sunset flip, a very boring start and an anticlimatic ending with only one cool spot? I'm not feeling it.

 

And * for Hogan v. Piper? The match had nothing

[Guest nWoScorpion]

I really liked the ladder match and thats how I judged it by.

 

And Everyone knows I have a soft spot for Hogan matches (that are very short)

[Guest Memphis]

I really liked the ladder match and thats how I judged it by.

 

And Everyone knows I have a soft spot for Hogan matches (that are very short)

I am a big Hogan fan. I don't tend to admit it, but I've been into Mister Hulkter since I was a kid.

 

Thing is, I HATED that fucking match with Roddy Piper. I'm all for an entertaining Hulk Hogan/Mr. America match but not when it's THAT BAD.

 

You must of been in a good mood when you wrote that because you were a tad generous. Great review though, very in-depth.

 

M

[Guest nWoScorpion]

I gave it * because it was first, short, not 20 minutes long as I'd expected. I was into the match, so was the crowd (Atleast for most of it). If I were to watch it and review it again, maybe I would give it less, but I don't plan on watching this PPV for a little while.