God bless crappy action movies!

[Guest J*ingus]

I just saw Kiss Of The Dragon, and laughed my ass off the entire time.  

 

Points to ponder:

 

-How did Jet Li get that gun past the metal detectors?  It doesn't matter how airtight a container is, magnetic waves like the ones used in detectors go through anything.  

 

-Why don't the corrupt police bad guys get in trouble for mowing down many innocent civilians, not to mention several of their own men, while trying to kill good cop Li?  

 

-Why did the villain murder that first victim?  They never even tried to explain it.  And if the plan was to frame Li, what were the hookers doing there in the first place?  

 

-Why don't Li and Bridget Fonda recognize each other, when it's been a whopping twelve hours since they first met?  

 

-Wasn't Fonda the latest in a long line of way-too-pretty movie prostitutes whom we never see actually any evidence of, y'know, prostituting?  (Think Moulin Rouge, From Hell, etc)

 

-Did it look like to anyone else that in the fight scenes, Li had to slow WAY down for the white guys to keep up with him?  

 

-If all of the agents that the Chinese government has sent to the old cook got killed, why did they keep sending them?  

 

-Who the hell was the random goon who shot up the chip factory?  He came out of nowhere, and was never explained.  

 

-The camera always tried to avoid the various wounds and gory things that the movie contained.  Was the makeup supervisor on this movie THAT incompetent?  

 

-Why did so many of the bad guys apparently not have guns, as demonstrated by their attempts to beat Li up instead of shooting him?  

 

-Did Fonda even have an IDEA of how she was going to get out of the building when she went back to try and trick the villain?  (And wasn't the story she told really, really weak?)

 

-Who was the random Chinese guy the villains were beating up in the restraunt, in front of dozens of witnesses?  

 

-How does a guy simply walk into a police station, kill several cops, and get away without even being questioned by the authorities?  

 

-Did anyone else laugh as hard as I did at how ridiculous the villain looked while dying?  Bad gore effects, bad editing, hilarious acting.  

 

Oh yeah, and a big FU to the fight coordinator of the film, who staged all the action so badly that the editor often had to hide it with jump cuts and speeding up parts of the film.  Remember that said action scenes contain JET F'N LI.  I could weep.

[Guest areacode212]

-Why don't Li and Bridget Fonda recognize each other, when it's been a whopping twelve hours since they first met?  

Well, to be fair, I don't think Bridget Fonda even got to see Jet Li in the hotel, and the only glimpse Jet got of her was when she was wearing a wig, so this is excusable.

 

 

-Who the hell was the random goon who shot up the chip factory?  He came out of nowhere, and was never explained.  

 

Wasn't this one of the Evil French Cop's henchmen, the same guy who dumped Bridget Fonda off after the hotel job? He was probably cruising by to inject her with more heroin or something.

 

-Who was the random Chinese guy the villains were beating up in the restraunt, in front of dozens of witnesses?  

 

Just some random Chinese guy they were beating up, probably because they thought he was hiding Jet Li in the back or something. Because as we all know, ALL ASIANS KNOW EACH OTHER. Or so they thought.

 

You make lots of good points here though, but pointing out plot holes in action movies is a bit like complaining about crappy acting in porn...they almost always go hand-in-hand. FWIW, I enjoyed KotD, especially compared to

The One. It kept me engaged for two hours and had good action sequences (the laundry chute part was fun).

[Guest J*ingus]

"(the laundry chute part was fun)."

 

Hell, that's another part I forgot.  Since when does a bottle of rubbing alcohol produce a raging inferno?  Or a "pineapple" fragmentation grenade make a gigantic fireball?