OAOAST IntenseZone - 5/26/03

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Not the best way to start

 

*Sonic appears around a corner, clad in a white t-shirt and black jeans. He's weilding a baseball bat and is walking, looking in doors as if looking for somebody.*

 

Sonic: Tonight, I take on Stephen Joseph...

 

*Sonic shoves open a door but seeing the room empty, continues on*

 

Sonic: I get my chance to prove myself worth to all those who judge down from above

 

*Sonic pauses, listening*

 

Sonic: Tonight, you don't want to feel the pain, then don't play the game!

 

*With that, Sonic turns around and almost nails Lauren in the face with the bat. Lauren glowers at Sonic but quickly snatches the bat and nails a charging Stephen Joseph over the skull. Stephen crumples to the floor as Janet walks up, Coke in hand.*

 

Janet: Sorry, forgot to mention that Joseph was going after ya.

 

Sonic: Thanks...

 

*The camera fades back to the announcers as Lauren, Sonic and Janet all look down at the prone body of Stephen Joseph*

 

Joseph: Just what I need...more wannabes...Owww

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

JR: Welcome to InTENSEzone again! We can't talk much..

 

Jesse: THANK GOODNESS!

 

JR: It's cause we've got a match!

 

Jesse: Shut that Rattlesnake-cock loving mouth of yours and-

 

JR: Hey! Although it may be the size of one, it doesn't taste like it!

 

Jesse: ...

 

JR: ...

 

Jesse: And two guys make their in-ring debuts on IntenseZone! Watch me not care!

 

Another Tuesday Night and I ain't got NO-body

 

The lights in the arena go out, and then...

 

Nothing really matters...

Anyone can see...

Nothing really matters...

Nothing reall matters...

To meeeeeeeeeeee

[Anywhere the wind blows] *GONG*

 

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HERE WE GO AGAIN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

As "Right Now! Let's Go! Me and You! Toe to Toe!" kicks in, A man in non-descript black clothing steps out of the shadows with two flaming men behind him.

 

JR: It's the Masked Man! It's Masked Man! With Simone and Garfunkel right behind him! And with that, we shall let them take over our announcing duties.

Jesse: Good, I need a drink anyway.

 

Simone and Garfunkel take their seats at the announce position as Masked Man continues his slow walk to the ring, adoring his "fans".

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall! Approaching the ring, from Florida's Withlacoochee River, he stands at six foot two inches and weighs in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds, I present to you, the MAAAAAASKED MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 

Simone: Look at that Masked Man. What a treasure.

Garfunkel: Look at his shapely buttocks jiggle ever so slightly as he walks...and look at those curvacious hips...

 

Masked Man slides into the ring and leaps into the air a few times, waiting for his opponent.

 

"2 Legit!! 2 Legit 2 Quit!!!"

 

The Bannable Offense appears on the stage as the crowd roars. He strikes a pose, before dancing down the ramp and slapping fans' hands as he goes.

 

"AND! From Two Blocks Down the Road, I present to you...THE BAAAAAAAAAAAANNABLE OOOOOOOOFFENSE!!!!!!!"

 

Simone: This man literally makes me sick. No, seriously. Garf, kindly hand me the waste disposal.

Garfunkel: You can dispose your waste anywhere you want on me, sweetie.

Simone: It's good to know I have someone like you. Now, let's watch Masked Man dominate him. I love that word.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The two men circle each other, and as BO goes in for a tieup, Masked Man sidesteps out of the way and reers back, sending his fist into the side of Bannable's head. BO staggers back, and MM pokes him in the eye. Capitalizing on this advantage, MM grabs BO's arm and twists it behind his back, holding in a hammerlock. Bannable Offense screams in pain as Masked Man randomly shouts.

 

Simone: My god, is he trying to break his arm?! Stop the pain, Masked Baby! At least until he gets you mad or something!

Garfunkel: I love seeing those two men in a belly-to-back position.

 

Offense bends over, to try and break the hammerlock, but seeing the lovely position he's in, Masked Man thrusts his pelvis, sending his crotch right into BO's buttocks! The driving force pushes BO all the way into the ropes, as his neck and windpipe rests on the second rope. Seeing this opportunity, MM signals for a high impact maneuver. He pushes off the opposite ropes and runs at Bannable Offense, before leaping into the air...and bringing his foot down across the small of the back of BO with a stomp.

 

Simone: OMG NO! Offense's back could LITERALLY BE BROKEN! We need some help out here.

Garfunkel: C'Mon Masked Man...take it easy on him!

 

Bannable Offense holds his back in sheer pain, as Masked Man runs and extends his arm sideways, catching BO right in the trachea and sending him sloppily down to the canvas with a clothesline. MM follows this up by wrapping his hand tightly around BO's neck, trying to choke the life out of him as the referee pulls him off. As MM is tied up with the referee, Bannable Offense reaches his feet and runs off of the ropes, leaping into the air as he approaches MM's back, and he grabs his head, sending Masked Man falling forward and down onto his face with a beautiful facecrusher.

 

Simone: Jesus Christ Almighty!!!!! The nondescript, masked face of my lovely lover made be destroyed!!

Garfunkel: NOW who's face will I look at while masturbating?!?!?!

 

Offense brings Masked Man off the canvas and grabs his arm, pushing him into the ropes and propelling him off. MM hits the other ropes and comes bounding back, and BO doubles over, awaiting his arrival. Once MM reaches him, he stands up, flipping Masked Man over so he hits the mat on his back. MM clutches his back in sheer agony as he rolls out of the ring. Bannable Offense follows him.

 

Simone: As if these two haven't killed each other already!

Garfunkel: This is the most dangerous position for a wrestler to be in!!

Simone: ...besides *DOWN FOR THE COUNT*, if you catch my drift, or my raging hard-on into your leg!

Garfunkel: Oh, behave!

 

The two men stand outside the ring apprehensively, waiting for the other to make the first move! While this is going on, the referee begins counting!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

Masked Man takes a step forward.

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

Bannable Offense starts dancing.

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

Masked Man grabs the flailing arm of Bannable Offense and twists it around into an overhead wristlock, causing BO to scream in pain.

 

EIGHT!

 

However, BO sends his boot into the side of MM's kneecap, causing the hold to be broken.

 

NINE!

 

The two men struggle to get back into the ring.

 

NINE POINT FIVE!

 

Masked Man shoves Bannable Offense like the bully he is, detracting him from his path as Masked Man goes into the ring.

 

NINE POINT SEVEN FIVE!

 

Bannable Offense shakes the cobwebs out.

 

NINE POINT NINE THREE!

 

BO's hand enters the ring, as the rest of his body finally follows, breaking the count.

 

Simone: Good lord in heaven and hell above! What a hellacious exchange outside of the ring!

Garfunkel: I thought Bannable Offense was dead for sure! And I'm almost positive Masked Man isn't a necrophhhiliac!

Simone: Oh...damnit.

 

Masked Man is waiting for Offense as he comes back to the ring, and when BO stands up, MM wraps his right arm around his head and the left under the bulging crotch of Bannable, before swiveling his body sideways so it's up into the air. He then pushes down on Offense's head, slamming him downwards onto the mat!

 

Simone: He bodyslammed him! I mean, literally, he just slammed his poor body to the canvas! Undertakers around the world, get the pine boxes ready, and dust off a spot in the morgue for poor Bannable Offense!

 

Masked Man quickly wraps his arm around the throat of Bannable Offense, grasping him in a chinlock. The crowd quickly loses their patience, but since when has that ever mattered? Bannable Offense finally fights out of the hold, and sends three elbows into the gut of Masked Man. With the hold finally broken, BO runs to the ropes and charges back, bringing his shoulder down and driving it into Masked Man, tackling him down with a SPEAR~!

 

Simone: Bannable Offense killed him! I mean, he literally broke his body in half with that spear!

Garfunkel: I hope his diaphragm is okay!!

 

Bannable Offense then busts out an Electric Slide for the crowd, signalling that the end of this match is nigh! He lifts up Masked Man and grabs a front facelock, before hooking a leg in fisherman's suplex position. He then hoists Masked Man up in the air, placing MM's neck on his shoulders. As he is about to sit out, Masked Man summons a last ounce of energy and reaches down, grasping a part of Bannable's body with his thumb and index finger, pinching as hard as he can...

 

Simone: THE TITTY TWISTER~!!!! THE TITTY TWISTER~!!! Bannable Offense's breast may be decimated after tonight! No milk secretion for this man!

Garfunkel: Oh, how I wish my darling Masked Man would do that for me.

 

Shocked at the sudden pain in his breast, Bannable Offense is forced to free Masked Man, who falls painlessly to the canvas, on his feet. Quick as a fox, MM locks a front facelock on Bannable Offense and grabs a hunk of his tights, lifting him into the air in a vertical suplex position before kicking his legs out forward, sitting out and sending Bannable Offense crashing to the mat face-first and on his ribs and genitals!

 

Simone & Garfunkel: DON'T TAKE OFF MY MASK~!!!!!!!!

Simone & Garfunkel: Jinx, personal jinx! Tee-hee!

 

Masked Man grabs the near leg of BO and rolls it over into a pinfall as the referee drops to count!

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO POINT FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO POINT EIGHT NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Simone: Yes! Yes! Oh thank God YES Masked Man has done it!

Garfunkel: We'll be having QUITE the party tonight if you know what I mean!

 

"HERE IS YOUR WINNER...THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAASKED MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!"

 

As Masked Man begins to celebrate, someone jumps the barricade. He's dressed in a suit and is wearing a Vince McMahon rubber mask. He slides into the ring, and unbeknownst to Masked Man, removes his loafer. He then swings with all of his might at MM's head, connecting with a loud *CLUNK* as Masked Man drops like a fly to the canvas. The OTHER Masked Man quickly scatters away from security, as Masked Man lays motionless.

 

Simone: OMG NO!!!!!!!!!!! MASKED MAN MAY BE DEAD AFTER BEING KO'D WITH THAT SHOE!! SHOES ARE HIS ONLY WEAKNESS!

Garfunkel: Oh my Goodness! I know Masked Man has a foot fetish, but he's ESPECIALLY weak when it comes to loafers! Jesus, bring the EMTs out here!

 

The EMTs rush out with a stretcher, as they load Masked Man onto it and strap him to the boards. Simone and Garfunkel leave the announce position in shock, fear, and worry. The crowd gives a standing ovation as Masked Man is carried away on the stretcher backstage.

 

JR: Well Jesse, that was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen in my life.

Jesse: ...

 

We get more footage backstage, as Masked Man is loaded into an ambulance. An EMT yells "Good to Go!" to the driver, who then turns around.

 

IT'S THE VINCE MCMAHON MASK.

 

"Where to, Masked Man?! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

 

Vince McMahon Mask then floors the gas pedal, driving away recklessly as we head to a commercial break!

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Ramblings on a Dead God

Because

 

The AngleTron appears to run with blood, even as a keyboard's tone flares to life and is distorted. The blood begins turning darker as it overtakes the screen, and then turns black, and two white eyes fade in.

 

JR

OH MY GAWD, That looks like the face of the mysterious man who attacked BLACK WIDOW at SCHOOL'S OUT, Jesse!

 

Jesse

This creeps me out, JR. Seriously.

 

Suddenly the music cuts out on the screamed line, "CONSUMING WHAT IS REAL . . ."

 

Cue: Paperdoll (Heavy Version) by Kittie

 

I look at her in that paper dress

I wonder why she won't burn

She's just a paper doll, that's all

just a paper doll

 

 

The black figure rises in the middle of the stage during a massive explosion of flame shaped like the spider design that wraps around his upper torso. He walks confidently down the ramp, moving with a grace that is matched only by the sense of darkness that seems to roll off of him.

 

I dress her up, she knocks me down

I dress her up, she knocks me down

They try her on for size, she fits nice

one size fits all

They try her on for size, she fits nice

one size fits all

 

The Dark Poet slides into the ring and looks around

 

Now her soul is dead

now her body's raw

you can know her pain

 

As the bass line twinges, he climbs to the second rope in the corner and looks out over the crowd.

 

Watch the blood run down her face

but don't take notice

And watch

the blood run down her arms

please don't take notice

 

He hops back down into the ring and motions for a mic

 

I know you have her soul

I see it in your eyes

She knows I'll TAKE her soul

she sees it in YOUR eyes

 

The music fades out and The Dark Poet looks around as the lights come up, his eyes obscured by his mask.

 

JR

I'm not too sure I WANT to hear what he's got to say . . .

 

Jesse

. . .

 

TDK

Masks . . . you spoke of them once, Poet. You said not that long ago that your mask was gone, that you would no longer hide. At AngleMania you showed a determination you had never shown before. Jingus nearly broke your legs but you climbed out of the cage anyway, you claimed the greatest prize that you and Dandy could hope to. A ferocity and a determination was unleashed, and the world would know that you were a force to be reckoned with.

 

And she was there.

 

At your side.

 

Cheering you on.

 

And then Popick invited you to join the Trinity, to rise to a new level! You would TRULY be a force to be reckoned with, applying the wrath of judgement upon the highest sinners of this land. There was such potential! Such a chance for you to BE something! To go beyond your boundaries and draw the blood of all those around you, to ensure that you would be the best, the greatest, THE MAN in this sport, and in your life!

 

And look at you.

 

Look. At. You.

 

You sniveling littly bastard. You let a woman stand in your way of unleashing your TRUE potential. A WOMAN. She's driven you to such insecurity as you try to balance both worlds somehow that you've returned to your mask. You've regressed, you've closed up all the strength inside of you again. What was once something is now NOTHING.

 

I'm here to change that.

 

I have stood in your shadow for far too long, watching all of your potential wasted because you don't have the balls to destroy a WOMAN in your path. Lust, that's what it is. You want her, you need her, you smell her perfume everywhere you go and she haunts your dreams.

 

But so do I.

 

Don't I?

 

You dream of Widow and you dream of me . . . dream of me killing her. And I will slaughter her. You spoke of a vow, sealed in your own blood.

 

(The Dark Poet removes a black glove and pulls a knife out from his tights. He opens his palm much like SpiderPoet did recently, and slices his it open. Blood spills out and pools in the ring)

 

This is MY vow, Spider Poet. You have disgraced yourself for too long. I will make sure your failure is put to rest . . . and I'll make sure the little slut dies, too. The time is coming, Poet . . . when you will have to choose. Choose your path and walk it well. All roads will be bloody. But I will see you cleansed . . . in life or in death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cue: By_Myslf

 

The Dark Poet steps back as the lights suddenly dim and the opening beats kick in. The music fades out to silence in a few moments.

 

The stage EXPLODES as the music hits again and the lyrics kick in.

 

What do I do to ignore them behind me?

Do I follow my instincts blindly?

Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams

and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?

Do I

sit here and try to stand it

or do I try to catch 'em red handed?

 

SPIDERPOET comes TRUCKING it down to the ring, and he looks HOT. He slides in and whips a fist back as if to clock the dark twin standing across from him, but TDK backs up a couple of steps and shakes his head.

 

TDK

I think you've got bigger problems. But don't worry, my brother . . . I'll be watching . . . I'll be waiting. Look out! For they are coming . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DARKNESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The lights return and . . . STEPHEN JOSEPH and JACOB X stand in the ring, flanking Poet!

 

Poet turns around…into a DOUBLE FALLENANGEL!

 

El Dandy comes running from the ramp to save his partner, but HE is cut off by Edward Robbins, and planted with a "Psalm of the Day" DDT! He snatches the title from around Dandy's waist, rolling Dandy into the ring in front of him…Meanwhile Joseph and Jacob have stripped SpiderPoet of his title, his mask, and his shirt. Under the direction of Jacob, Edward and Joseph pick Poet up, and send him down crashing with a DOUBLE CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB!

 

Edward walks to the dropped microphone, picks it up, and speaks.

 

"Now I've been down, and I've been out, I came from the gutter, and I may be 'bout ready to head back in, but when my brethren call, I answer. For this humble man has brought a REVELATION for my brothers, the heathen, the sinners and the saints!

 

I'm sick of it.

 

Not being humble, hell if I had the chance I'd probably waste it. Lord knows I've done SO much with my life as is. I'm sick of being the good guy. That's right, I was always beating myself up, I never thought I was good enough. I had the chances, and I pissed them away. I went through the sickest spectacles, the same spectacles that have left Jacob scarred for life, I was lucky enough to remain standing, I had the chance to end it all, I had the chance to save him, my brother in blood and in spirit, who wasn't as lucky as I. But I didn't. I kept beating myself up, I said my prayers, I ate my vitamins, I said yes sir, I'll be as good as I can. It drove me to madness. But you all know this. And far be it from me from wasting precious time.

 

I'm sick of him.

 

Yes him. It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings, and even if Alison removes her finger from her throat and her diaphragm from her loose cunt, she won't be one of those for a while. That's right, it's Zack again. Mr. Malibu, the champeen of idolators, adulterers, liars and thieves all across the nation! Now I'm sure the more foolish of you have asked me, why not just give it up? I mean I lost, right? Zack's clearly the better man, after all, he CARRIED the In Crowd, didn't he? While I was off breaking down his star was beginning to shine. I've been down, why not just go out? Ahh, if only it were that easy. But you misunderstand... that's what Zack wants me to do. He wants me to leave. Forever. Yea, I'm tired of fighting, but I'm more tired of obeying his every whim. Even when he removed the choke-chain from my neck he was controlling me. He had my faith. I wanted it to be like the good old days. He kept pushing the boundaries. I wanted the old Zack. He took and he took and I just smiled and said "Yassir I's gonna try and save you if it's the last thing I do!" Even with the In Crowd split up, even with his selfish title win and shady title defenses, I wanted to save him. I wanted to help him.

 

No more, my friend, no more! You've stretched my faith to the limit. No more, my friend... I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of all of you.

 

No more. "

 

Edward passes the microphone to Jacob, but the silent man waves it off, instead allowing it to settle in the dark hands of one Stephen Joseph.

 

"I'm sure you all are wondering…why? Simply put, the Infernales were puppets…They coveted the recognition and attention these titles brought them…which is why they no longer have them. When they signed me as manager, they also signed a small agreement that stated that if they were unable to compete in a defense, then I would compete in their steed….simple-minded fools…we used you to bring our message of salvation to both shows, and now that you are no longer need, we cast you aside. You are weak…especially you Poet. You swore a vow to our ideals, and you let a woman, a lustful yearning, betray duty.

 

Now that your weakness has been revealed, you are unfit to carry out our ordained mission. Thusly, you won't be needing these titles anymore…So we will gladly take them, for they will not corrupt us…they're merely trinkets. If you value these trinkets, maybe we'll give you a chance to get them back…maybe…and that goes for anyone who wants to obsess about golden idols…which definitely means one Zack Malibu…

 

Jacob here laid out one hell of a match for the Great Angle Bash. Zack, we're going to have one too…Since I'm STILL the commissioner around here, I took the liberty of booking a CASKET MATCH for the Great Angle Bash. You're marked for purification.

 

It's like this people. The OaOasT is corrupted. Help us and you will witness a glorious revelation. Impede us…and face divine wrath.

 

Purity through Pain. For each and every one of you…Purity through pain. Now bring me this Sonic guy and his harlots…he shall be the alpha…for the end of the OaOasT will be our Omega.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Reality Bites

 

HOLD ON THERE JUST A MINUTE POPICK!

 

On the Angle-Tron, its DAMES!

 

"You see, on this show… ::wait a minute honey, we'll get back to that soon enough:: You have to win a title, not just claim ownership of it. Which is why I MAKE THE MATCHES… You want the titles off the infernales. Fight them for it…Next week. Two of your goons, and the infernales…and you know what else, just to make it ohh fair? I'll put on a zebra shirt. Ya like that one, holmes?

 

::Now hunny, where did you hide the chocolate sausage?::

 

Back in the ring, Popick is FUMING, with Edward and Jacob holding him back…A savvy ring official snatches the titles in the ring…and runs away before the trinity can react…

 

SJ: Ohh, he is so getting it…

 

Jacob: Calm your fury…Sonic is next.

 

SJ: That's who I was talking about.

 

Sonic, sans his ladies and music, runs straight into the ring…with Jay "Shooter" Doring behind in his wake…Sonic brought backup

 

JR: Can we talk again?

 

Jesse: Not much to say…Sonic is facing one pissed off Popick. That is one POP I do not want upset at me.

 

JR: Serves him right for abusing his power like that!

 

Jesse: Doesn't matter now, I'll be surprised if Sonic lasts five minutes…

 

DING DING DING

 

Edward and Jacob exit the ring whilst Sonic enters, pumped up with energy as the crowd chants his name. None of this phases Joseph, who stares death into the youth's eyes. Sonic rolls his left arm around, circling around Joseph…They charge! and Sonic is greeted with a swift kick from Popick's right foot, connecting above the stomach, doubling Sonic over…Popick shifts weight and kicks Sonic in the head with his left, posing in a martial arts style stance, taunting the young fella.

 

Jesse: I didn't know Stephen was a martial artist?

 

JR: I didn't think he was either.

 

Popick, low to the ground, stalks Sonic as the young grappler gets up. Stephen charges with a roundhouse…but Sonic Catches the leg…and Dragon Screws Popick over…Sonic with a floating cover…1….but that's it…Stephen kicks out with authority

 

Popick gets himself back up in the turnbuckle…catching an oncoming Sonic with a boot to the head…Popick capitalizes…FINALITY! He rolls Sonic over…and covers..

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

3! NO Sonic has his shoulder up somehow…Oh wait…Popick grabbed his head up, that's why.

 

JR: That bastard!

 

Jesse: I love it!

 

Popick plays to the crowd, pulling Sonic up…Sonic groggily counters…ROLLUP!

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

SONIC grabs the TIGHTS!

 

 

 

 

 

POPICK wiggles!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!! The ref's hand drops a third time…and the Trinity outside is irate…Edward lunges for Sonic, but he's pulled out by Jay, and the two hightail it outta there through the crowd. Popick is inside the ring, his face a mask of shock and disturbment.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

The Jay Doring Show

 

Back from commercial, Jay and Sonic are in the back at the interview stage…

 

JR: WHAT'S JAY DARRING DOING HERE?!

 

Jesse: We're about to find out, he's got the STICK~!

 

Jay: "You know what they say, Sonic, friends don't let friends listen to P. Diddy. As for you Stephen Joseph, did you honestly think I was going to take on you and your band of feeble-minded idiots by myself? So I recruited the one man who I felt deserved to be a FEATURED ATTRACTION on IntenseZone...the Icon, Sonic Youth!

 

Jesse: WHAT?!

 

JR: FEATURED ATTRACTION HAS JUST UPGRADED!

 

(*Jay hands off the microphone to Sonic Youth*)

 

Sonic: Stephen, you've just gotta learn to stop making so many enemies. You just created a fatal attraction, one that I don't think you and the Trinity can recover from. Infernales, we're coming for your tag straps, and Stephen Joseph, if you don't want to feel the pain, DON'T PLAY THE GAME!

 

*Sonic Youth and Jay both pose on the turnbuckles as Joseph must be fuming.*

 

JR: BUSINESS HAS JUST PICKED UP ON INTESNSEZONE! FEATURED ATTRACTION HAS RETURNED!

 

Jesse: Oh man, not this crap again.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

And you thought Popick was crazy...

 

Cut to General Manager Damian Gonzalez's office. The Dames is seen doing paperwork and whatever else a GM usually does. The crowd pops for the GM. Suddenly, a knock is heard on Dames' door.

 

Dames: Come in.

 

The door opens, and in walks the Lightning Crew. Puerto Rican Lightning, carrying the Puerto Rican Championship over his left shoulder and wearing street clothes. Mr. Boricua decked out in his usual attire. And Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, wearing a sleevelss LIGHTNING CREW T-Shirt and blue tight jeans. Her hair is pinned up and she is wearing braclets on her wrists and a necklace. The Lightning Crew all come into the room with Dames looking with a look of disgust on his face. The Lightning Crew all corner Dames and are all smiling.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Dames. Dames-y. Damian! The Daminator! Damesykins. The Damesmister. Mr. GM! The GM of all GMs! The--

 

Dames(annoyed): What is it, Lightning?

 

Puerto Rican Lightning (still smiling): Oooh! Straight to the point! I like that in a General Manager. We need more people like you in power in this world. Who knows maybe--

 

Dames(sounding more annoyed): You're wasting my fucking time P.R.! WHAT IS IT?!!

 

Lightning: Okay. Well, Dames, can I call you Dames?

 

Dames: No.

 

PRL: Dames. After losing my shot at the North American Championship Sunday at School's Out, you might expect me to be sobering around here, crying my eyes out, and never wrestling again. BUT! That is not the case because, Dames, I am a strong man. And a strong man will always, ALWAYS beat the weak. And the weak man I am facing tonight is none other than The Mad Cappa.

 

The crowd pops.

 

PRL: Now, this feud has been a staple of IntenseZone, YOUR SHOW, for about 2 months now. And, seeing as it is because of me that IZ is the best brand of pro wrestling today, with Cappa riding MY coattails, I was wondering, oh GM, oh great leader, oh fearless captain of the IZ ship, if you could make my match with Mad CRAPPA tonight, the main event of this week's IntenseZone! Now I know, I know. You made it a rule that the NA Title Match would always be the main event of each and every iZ, but think about it? Does anybody in this arena tonight want to see that two-bit jabrony "Shooter" Jay Darring in the F'N MAIN EVENT SLOT OF OUR FLAGSHIP SHOW?!!

 

The crowd cheers.

 

JR: Apparently the fans do, Jesse.

Jesse: They are just cheering the awesomeness of Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

Lightning(continuing): Think about it Damian! Jay and whoever his oppoent is tonight ain't the future of IntenseZone. The only reason Jay is where he is today is because I gave him the rub in his first match! They ain't the future of the OaOasT. They ain't the future of professional wrestling! But you know who is?

 

PRL moves closer to Dames so that he is face-to-face with him.

 

Lightning: I AM! Dames, tonight is a historic night. Tonight, the whole world will witness the end of Mad Cappa's career. An event that historic DESERVES the main event! Dames, this is something you will never see again. Puerto Rican Lightning vs. The Mad Cappa one-on-one for the Puerto Rican Championship! May 27, 2003 will go down as a historic day in OaOasT IntenseZone history as Puerto Rican Lightning will prove WHY he deserves to be Puerto Rican Champion and prove he is BETTER THAN THE MAD CAPPA! So, General Manager Gonzalez, what do you say? It will be good for ratings!

 

Dames thinks about it for a second. Dames has a smirk on his face as he turns to PRL.

 

Dames: No.

 

The crowd cheers Dames. PRL is pissed but keeps his cool.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Heh. Heh. You must not have heard me. I asked if my match with The Mad Cappa can be the main event for tonight's IntenseZone.

 

Dames: I heard you loud and clear and the anwser is No!

 

The crowd cheers. PRL is frustrated but he still remains cool. He is losing his temper bit by bit though.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning(Getting more and more angry by the second): I...will....ask....you....one....more....time. Can....I....get....the....main....event...slot....on....tonight's....IntenseZone?

 

Dames gets up. He stares directly into PRL's eyes and with an angry look confronts him.

 

Dames: Listen here Lightning! You may be the Puerto Rican Champion and you may defend the belt by your own rules, but this is still MY SHOW. And since it is MY SHOW, I make the decisions. Your lying and cheating won't work with me. I can see right through your bullshit and it is with that my decision STANDS~! So, if you don't mind, I have some work to do. Oh, and personally speaking, I can't wait to see The Mad Cappa kick your Puerto Rican ass all over this ring tonight!

 

Lightning, now completely angry, motions at Mr. Boricua.

 

Mr. Boricua grabs Dames by his throat and slams him into a wall. He grunts and screams as the crowd boos. Mr. Boricua begins choking Dames.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning (calm, but in an evil, psychotic sort of way): Oh Dames. You have made Mr. Boricua mad. And you do NOT want to see Mr. Boricua mad. Because when Mr. Boricua is mad, he hurts people. Now Damian, I am sure you love being the General Manager of IntenseZone. So, if you want to continue being the GM of IntenseZone you better please Mr. Boricua. So, I will ask you this question one more time....Can I and Mad Cappa get the main event slot on tonight's show?

 

Mr. Boricua continues choking Dames. His face is red but turning blue. His glasses are hanging on his right ear and is sweating as he hesitates revealing his anwser. His voice a little raspy he reveals his anwser...

 

Dames: Okay! Okay! You vs. Mad Cappa is the main event for this week's IntenseZone!

 

Mr. Boricua lets go of Dames. The crowd boos PRL's actions. PRL smiles an evil smile and taps Dames face.

 

Lightning: See, it wasn't that hard. Now, have a nice day. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez all leave. The crowd boos and the "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" chants begin. Dames lies on the floor for a few seconds before getting up. He gains his compsure and puts his glasses back on. He is angry and saids under his breath-

 

Dames: BUST A CAP in his ass Cappa!

 

Fade To Black

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Popick just went Office Space on the copier at work...yes I am still at work...

 

Drunken Fuck comes out to the ring, which has a bar and two barstools set up.]

 

Welcome to the first edition of "HOW SHITFACED ARE YOU?" My first guest is a motherfucker that's been through it all. Give your hands, feet and other assorted body parts to JAILBAIT!

 

[Jailbait comes out.]

 

Drunken Fuck: So what the fuck are you out here for?

 

Jailbait: I want everyone to know that after School's Out, I'm hoping that the wrestlers and officials of OaOast will realize that even through all of my personal demons, I can still be a factor in this industry.

 

DF: (mutters) Sure you can. So what do you wanna do next?

 

Jailbait: The one thing I've always wanted to do was to win The World Heavyweight Title. I've never had an opportunity to get a shot, but I'm hoping the backstage politics will cease and allow a talented athlete like myself get a shot!

 

DF: Backstage politics? This isn't the fucking WWE here.

 

Jailbait: Everyone knows what I am and where I come from. The streets aren't a place to groom a future world champion. But, the one thing they can do is prepare me for some of the toughest competition in the world. I had to fight for my life out there and I come here and I see a bunch of damn punks...

 

DF: Punks? What punks? Are there punks?

 

Jailbait: Yeah, no doubt. These upper level superstars have no heart, no skill and no toughness in their pathetic bodies. That's why next week, I'm opening up a challenge to any upper level OaOast superstar to FIGHT me. Not wrestle, but FIGHT. We'll see if anyone accepts, but I'm sure they won't. They're all pussies anyway.

 

DF: Sure, everyone's a pussy. I'm a pussy, the announcers are pussies, YOU'RE A PUSSY.

 

[Jailbait does not take kindly and snaps. He barrages DF with punches, lariats, and spinebuster him as well. He then goes outside the ring to grab a chair and starts nailing DF with it. Refs come out to try to calm down Jailbait. He nails several refs, then finally leaves as the camera zooms to Drunken Fuck's bloodied and unconscious face.]

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

And so this iZ is very half-assed...since I'm still at work

 

Mr. Brownstone blasts over the PA system as Dangerous A promtpy storms to the ring.

 

Jesse: Uh oh, someone's pissed off...

 

JR: Wouldn't you be?

 

Jesse: Well he didn't hurt the kid...

 

Dangerous A is wearing his usual wrestling attire. He looks determined yet confident while stepping through the ropes...

 

DA: Banky....you lowlife. How pathetic are you? Threatening my son? Threatening my GODDAMN family??!? Huh? Yea, we had a past...but when did it become so personal? Well I am going to do everyone a favor. Tonight, in this ring, I am going to beat the holy hell out of you.

 

JR: He's challening him...TONIGHT!

 

DA: So lose your hanger-ons, lose the security, grow some balls, and come down for the beating of a lifetime....

 

Suddenly the lights go out in the ring. Walk on the Wild Side plays over the PA. A bright light shines up into the bleachers. Standing at top of the arena is Banky. He is wearing all black and displaying his newly cleaned shaved head. Across his shirt says BANKYWOOD.

 

Banky: Dangerous A...friend...why the hostility? Its not like I hurt that punk kid of yours!

 

DA: When I get my hands around your neck, I'll hurt you...

 

Banky: Shoulda coulda woulda...its all relative. At this time, your hands aren't around my neck...and I'm doing just fine. So don't play this anticipation game, live for the moment...seize the moment!!

 

DA: How can you be so weak as to stand in the bleachers to avoid me? You know exactly what i am capable of, you know how badly I could hurt you.

 

Banky: Is that a fact? Well you might be the most renown wrestling trainer in the Orient, but I found someone who could train me. So I wouldn't act so cocky as to think you could wipe the floor with me.

 

DA: Better than me? Is that why you offered me $500,000 to train you? Why you offered me girls, limosines, and even drugs to coerce me into training you?

 

The crowd starts to buzz. Banky puts his head in his hands....

 

JR: Wow

 

Banky: Are you trying to make this personal? Huh, are you? Yea, so what, I WANTED YOU! But Mr. Clean wouldn't accept the luxeries of being my trainer...so what?

 

DA: You claim to have better training than I could give, so why don't you prove it, right here...right now.

 

Banky: Sorry friend, not tonight. But since you've made this personal, I've gotta a little footage for you to enjoy.

 

Images of Banky walking around DA's house come upon the screen. Each picture depicts Banky in the shadows lurking behind a member of DA's family.

 

Banky: Do you understand the power I have? Do you?! Huh. You want to embarrass me on live television? Well next week, I am going to embarrass a member of your family on live television. So I recommend you stay home next week. Close your doors, bolt down the windows, and shut your blinds, because Banky will be making a trip to Las Vegas. VIVA LAS VEGAS! Hell son, you can try to find me first, I'll be at Wayne Newton's house!!

 

DA: I'll kill you, you bastard!

 

No Music plays as the spotlight in the bleachers shuts off. Silently, DA is left alone in the ring to deal with the emotional suffering.

 

JR: Oh my GOD, this is getting personal.

 

Jesse: The man is overstepping the bounds of good taste.

 

End Segment.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

I told you this was the Jay Doring Show

 

JR: Earlier today, I caught up in the locker room with the NEW OAOAST North American champion, "Shooter" Jay Darring.

 

(*Cut to JR and Jay Darring sitting next to each other in the OAOAST dressing room*)

 

JR: "Jay Darring, your incredible rise to the top of OAOAST hit a new pinnacle last night at School's Out- capturing the North American championship in your first attempt, after only two months in the company! Thoughts?"

 

JAY: "I'd just like to say this to all the fans watching at home, especially the little kids: Everyone is born with a special talent, and whether it's intellectual or athletic or artistic, if you hone that talent and work as hard as you can, you WILL achieve any goal you set for yourself. That's exactly what happened last night at School's Out. I've been preparing for that night my whole life, the chance to hold championship gold, and it paid off. The greatest things in life are those you work hardest for, and this- (*takes belt from his shoulder and looks down at it*) is proof."

 

JR: "Well tonight, Jay, the fruits of your labor could be snatched away from you at the hands of the Blurricane."

 

JAY: "Well, Jimbo, to say I'm worried about this match is an understatement. Right now I'm beaten up worse than I've ever been in my career, and that can be a fatal flaw against an opponent like the Blurricane. He's been on an awesome roll lately- and buddy, whoever you are (*wink*) thanks for saving my ass against the Trinity last week, I owe you one, and your performance in the six man was one of the most unreal things I've ever seen. As much as I respect his abilities, the Blurricane has got to deal with the harsh reality that this belt isn't coming off of my shoulder for a very, very long time. Bet on it."

 

JR: "There you have it fol-"

 

(*Jay grabs the microphone from him*)

 

JAY: "Not quite done yet Slim Jim. You see, even though I'm the North American champion and I have plenty of worthy challengers to worry about- Cappa, PRL, Blurricane, Sonic Youth, Vitamin X, among others- I still have plenty of unfinished business with the Trinity."

 

"You might want to send the kids away from the TV right now."

 

"You all saw when I laid out Boricua weeks back that when you screw with the Shooter, payback is a pure hell. It's not coming in the WarZone, that wouldn't be honorable and is far too humane. I'm going to do it face to face, right in the ring. As I've said before, when I set a goal, it gets reached, no matter what the consequences."

 

"For weeks, Stephen Joseph and his disciples have tortured me, destroyed friends of mine, tried to end my career, all under the veneer of "holiness" and "righteousness." In the WarZone, do you honestly think your faith can save you? The old expression that 'there are no atheists in foxholes' is a lie, a fallacy. In fact, just the opposite is true. When you're face-to-face with death, that is when you know for sure there is no God. It's why you fight to survive, to draw one more breath. It's why you call out to any and every entity- because you don't want to die. Because in your heart of hearts, you know that death is the endgame. No hereafter. No paradise. No God. Just nothingness. To this cult of lies know as the Trinity,I will be your endgame, starting at the Great Angle Bash, when I take down Jacob X in his own 200 Light Tube Challenge. My credo has always been 'Pain for Fame.' This time, it's 'Pain for Vengeance.'"

 

 

 

(*Jay then hands the microphone back to Ross, who looks more than a little frightened.*)

 

JR: "Uh, Jay there's something I forgot to ask you. You beat Andrew Hyland with a move you call the KT Driller. What does the KT stand for?"

 

(*Jay stares coldly at Jim Ross*)

 

JAY: "None of your business."

 

(*Jay walks off.*)

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

This promo rocked

 

(Blurricane is seen walking backstage, shaking hands with people he meets. Teddy Long runs up to him to get an interview.)

 

TEDDY

Hey Playa! Let me Holla at ya for a second!

 

BLURRICANE

Holy Peanut Head~! Teddy Long??

 

TEDDY

In the hizzhouse playa! Tonight you get a shot at the North American title against Shooter Jay. I know you'll be thuggin and buggin, but what is your strategy to beat tha Shooter tonight?

 

BLURRICANE

Well Citizen Peanut Head...I mean Citizen Long, I'll just go out there and do what I do best. Whether that's thuggin and buggin, stylin and profilin, or straight up trippin PLAYA!!! (Blurricane gives the "hokey thumbs up")

 

TEDDY

Fo Sheeze B-Cane!! Fo Sheeze!

 

BLURRICANE

Bless you!

 

TEDDY

Say what playa? (Gives Blurricane a funny look) Well all I know is this match tonight will be off the hizzle fo shizzle!

 

BLURRICANE

Whazzamaddawityou? This match isn't taking place at the Sizzler.

 

TEDDY

Boy are you mocking me? Don't be haterizin'...don't be drinking that Haterade!

 

BLURRICANE

Don't worry Teddy. Blurricane only drinks milk...cause it does a body good!

 

(Blurricane gives a hokey thumbs up and Swooshes~! away)

 

 

I just kicked the copier...and now it works

 

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first...

 

*BOOM*

 

("Rock You Like a Hurricane" erupts over the PA as the pyro rocks the arena, and the Blurricane comes FLYING out onto the stage.)

 

Ring Announcer: The challenger, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 191 pounds, THE BLURRICANE!

 

JR: Here's someone who's been on a hotstreak lately! An impressive performance against the Trinity last week, and he picked up the big win in that stellar fourway at School's Out!

 

(The music changes into "The Fake Sound of Progress" and the blue spotlights hit.)

 

Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from Boston Massachusetts, weighing in at 173 pounds, he is the NEW OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING!

 

JR: A lot of people have claimed to be the next breakout star of OAOAST, but Jay Darring has backed up his words. In only two months, he's won the marquee prize on IntenseZone, the North American title!

 

Jesse: And all that hard work can be ruined in one night against the Blurricane!

 

The bell rings, and the Blurricane thrusts out his hand to Jay, which Jay accepts.

 

JR: A lot of mutual respect between these two.

 

Jesse: Respect means nothing JR, it's all about money and gold.

 

Lockup to start, Jay with the go-behind, tries for a German Suplex, Blurricane flips out of it, runs the ropes, Jay turns around, Blurricane with a sunset flip- 1,2, no. Jay right back up, tries for a roundhouse kick, ducked by the Blurricane. Blurricane trips him up, cover- 1 count. Jay up, gets a trip of his own, cover- another 1 count. Double kip-up, and we have a standoff to appreciative applause from the fans!

 

JR: What a display! These two have obviously studied each other extensively.

 

Both competitors get back to business. Both try for a superkick, they hit each other's foot. Irish whip by Blurricane, clothesline ducked by Jay, leg lariat by the champ connects! Blurricane bails to the outside of the ring. Jay runs the ropes, springboard- RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT ON TARGET!

 

JR: What a maneuver by Jay!

 

Jesse: Since when did you turn into Vince McMahon?

 

Jay sends Blurricane back into the ring. Jay climbs the turnbuckle, flying elbowdrop- misses! Blurricane goes for a cover! 1, 2, kickout.

 

Jesse: Jay is still too fresh to be pinned like that.

 

Blurricane picks Jay up, whips him in, superkick by Blurricane connects! Jay is back to his feet, Blurricane with the floating neckbreaker! Cover!

 

1....

 

2....

 

 

2.9!

 

JR: So close, Jay's title reign could have ended in less than 24 hours right there!

 

Blurricane gets up, waits for Jay to get to one knee- SHINING BLACK!

 

JR: This could be it! New champion!

 

1.....

 

 

2.....

 

 

3-NO! SHOULDER UP RIGHT BEFORE THE 3!

 

JR: A title defense one night after gaining the strap, only a few days after the most brutal series of matches in IZ history, might be biting off more than Jay can chew.

 

Jesse: Hey, it's Dames' rule- that title must be defended every IntenseZone.

 

Blurricane goes to pick Jay up again- Jay with the double leg takedown, slingshot by the champ into the corner turnbuckle! Reverse DDT by the North American champion. Both men are down!

 

JR: Jay can't cover, he's too fatigued.

 

Jesse: Well, this is where we find out how much of a man Jay really is.

 

Both champion and challenger are on their feet. Jay blocks a punch from Blurricane, fires back with a couple of his own. Jay whips Blurricane into the corner turnbuckle, Jay charges- met with a foot to the face by Blurricane. Blurricane ascends the turnbuckle- HIGH ELEVATION CROSS BODY!

 

JR: He really can fly!

 

1....

 

 

2....

 

 

 

JAY SHIFTS HIS WEIGHT AND REVERSES THE COVER!

 

1....

 

 

2....

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both guys are back on their feet, Jay ducks a clothesline- FORESHADOW! QUICK COVER!

 

1.....

 

2....

 

 

KICKOUT at 2 9/10!

 

JR: The pace is quickening to lightning speed, in our main event for the North American title, right here on IntenseZone!

 

Jay picks Blurricane right up, hits him with a stun gun, Jay rebounds off the ropes with a flying forearm- Blurricane ducks- and the shot nails the referee! Blurricane's got the stunned Jay- BLUR EFFECT!

 

JR: IT'S OVER! NEW CHAMPION!

 

Jesse: BUT THERE'S NO ONE TO COUNT THE PIN!

 

Blurricane is on top of Jay, who is out cold. But the ref isn't moving!

 

Jesse: YOU COULD COUNT TO FIFTY!

 

ORION has hit the ring! He's got the F13 title belt, and he just cracked the Blurricane across the head with it from behind! He picks the woozy Blurricane up- FADE TO BLACK!

 

JR: NO, NOT THIS WAY! DAMMIT! DAMN THAT ORION STRAIGHT TO BLOODY BLUE HELL!

 

Jesse: You shouldn't take the Lord's name in vain JR, or YOU'LL end up in hell!

 

JR: Jay hasn't seen any of this!

 

Jay is finally waking up from the devastating Blur Effect. He turns over, and drapes an arm over the unconscious Blurricane...

 

 

1, 2, 3.

 

Ring Announcer: Your winner of the match, and STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING!

 

JR: THAT VILE BASTARD ORION HAS JUST SCREWED THE BLURRICANE OUT OF THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE, AFTER HE WORKED SO HARD TO EARN THAT SHOT AT SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

Orion is still in the ring, putting the boots to both Jay and the Blurricane!

 

JR: WAIT A MINUTE, HERE COMES REJECT!

 

Reject sprints into the ring and goes toe to toe with Orion, trading punches. Reject whips Orion into the ropes- basement dropkick to Orion's knee, followed up by THE LETHAL REJECTION! Jay gets to his feet and hits the turnbuckles- 2nd rope Tumbleweed! Blurricane is back up, he uses his super strength to LAUNCH Orion over the top rope and into the crowd!

 

JR: Just like he did in the Battle Royal! Reject, Jay Darring and the Blurricane are standing tall, and Orion is running to the exits like a scalded dog!

Edited May 28, 2003 by Big Poppa Popick

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

JR" And now folks, it is time. It is time for a match that has been brewing for sometime now and has become a staple of IntenseZone programming.

Jesse: I know what it's time for JR! It's time for Puerto Rican Lightning to prove to the world that HE is the better man! That HE is better than Mad Cappa! That HE is the best damn Puerto Rican Champion there ever was!

JR: It's time for The Mad Cappa to take the Puerto Rican Championship away from Puerto Rican Lightning. That's what time it is.

Jesse: Only in your dreams JR!

JR: Folks, it is now time for the main event of this week's IntenseZone. It is the match we have all been waiting for! We've seen them fight in bars. In bathrooms. In rivers. In forests. In kitchens. In bus stations. But we have never seen them fight one-on-one in the ring fair and square. Tonight, we will finally see it happen. Puerto Rican Lightning vs. The Mad Cappa for the Puerto Rican Championship right now on IntenseZone!

Jesse: Cappa's got NO CHANCE IN HELL~!

 

CUE TO: PRL vs. TMC VIDEO PACKAGE

 

The video is black and white throughout. The video package starts off with a crowd shot. Slow, dramatic music is playing as the camera slowly moves in on The Mad Cappa posing on the turnbuckle while the lights flicker on and off.

 

Narrator: It might seem like tonight's epic encounter...

 

Cut to a shot of Puerto Rican Lightning walking to the ring, along with the Puerto Rican Championship, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez this past March at AngleMania II at the Saddle Dome.

 

Narrator(continuing): is simply a battle between two uniquely divergant superstars.

 

Cut to a shot of Mad Cappa dancing his way to the ring during an episode of IntenseZone

 

Narrator: The challenger. A plucky underdog with a heart of gold...

 

Cut to a shot of Vince Rusco turning on Mad Cappa at AngleMania II and Cappa in pain.

 

Narrator(continuing): looking to gain what is rightfully his...

 

Cut to a shot of The Mad Cappa giving the BUST A CAP to Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

Narrator(continuing): And to stop the Puerto Rican Menance.

 

Cut to a shot of Puerto Rican Lightning raising the Puerto Rican Championship proudly.

 

Narrator: The Puerto Rican Champion. Cocky, arrogrant.

 

Cut to a shot of PRL giving Cappa the People's Elbow.

 

Narrator(continuing): Looking to pull off a thorn on his side since his debut and remain Champion.

 

Cut to scenes of the memorable PRL/TMC WarZone Segments. The bathroom brawl. The barroom fight. The river fight.

 

Narrator: Two distnict indivuals, whose only common bond, is the mutual contempt they harbor for each other.

 

Cut to a shot of Puerto Rican Lightning entering the ring with the Puerto Rican Championship along with Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez at April's Living Anglelously.

 

Narrator: But like life, nothing of consquence is ever black and white.

 

Cut to shots of The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning posing in the ring.

 

Narrator: Tonight, is really about two athletes more similar than not.

 

Cut to shots of Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa's interaction with the fans. PRL jawing with them. Mad Cappa celebrating with them.

 

Narrator: Two men blessed with charisma, youth, and an undying heart. Two supernovas buring brightest admist an infinite galaxy of stars. Like two heirs to a single throne. Two reverant knights courting the fair princess.

 

Cut to another shot of PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship.

 

Narrator: They are two men deserving what only one can have.

 

Cut to shots of The Mad Cappa giving Puerto Rican Lightning the BUST A CAP and Puerto Rican Lightning giving The Mad Cappa the P.R. Nightmare.

 

Narrator(continuing): Two fearless warriors of courage and distniction.

 

Cut to shots of Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa in pain.

 

Narrator: Two men who have sacrificed their bodies and gutted their souls for the oppurturnity to glow, ever so briefly, in the fleeting light of fame.

 

Cut to a shot of The Mad Cappa victorious after one of his matches.

 

Narrator: Tonight, only one man can walk away the victor.

 

Cut to a shot of Puerto Rican Lightning raising the Puerto Rican Championship at School's Out.

 

Narrator(continuing): Only one man can raise the coveted grail.

 

Cut to a staredown between Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa.

 

Narrator: Two men, both worthy leaders in a world that can be ruled by only.....

 

 

 

 

 

ONE.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Because this feud deserves this spot, and good luck to Cappa, wherever you are...Come back soon

 

Cut to: The Ring where the ring annoucer is standing.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Ring Annoucer: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheldued for one fall, and is for the PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

 

The crowd pops.

 

JR: It all comes down to this, Jess. THIS is the match that I've been wanting to see ever since PRL debuted.

Jesse: Atleast, it was nice for PRL to give the Mad Punk a shot at his prestigious belt.

JR: What? PRL has been ducking Cappa ever since he got that belt?

Jesse: From a tournament in Puerto Rico.

JR: Your stupidity continues to amaze me.

Jesse: Calling me stupid? I'm not the one wearing the cowboy hat when I'm 54!

 

A lightning bolt hits the entrance stage. The crowd pops but then boo as they know that the lightning bolt can only mean one thing.

 

JR: It's main event time!!!

 

Pyro shoots off from the entrance. Fog fills up the entrance as a Puerto Rico flag is shown on the AngleTron. In big blue blocky letters, the word LIGHTNING appears. The crowd boos as "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts up.

 

Jesse: And here comes the best talent in the OaOasT today!

 

Before Puerto Rican Lightning even appears, the fans begin booing. Smoke rises and out from it comes Puerto Rican Lightning, his bodyguard, Mr. Boricua, and his valet and manager, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, still wearing the same clothes she had in Dames' office. The Lightning Crew are greeted with boos but for some reason, the trio all are smiling tonight, more than usual. PRL does the Curt Henning gum swat and begins walking down to the ring with his Crew. He is decked out in his usual red Puerto Rico long tights and Puerto Rico flag boots. His Puerto Rico flag bandana and since this is a special night, his Puerto Rico flag facepaint which covers his face. He is cool and cocky as he walks down to the ring.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Ring Annoucer: Now coming to this ring at this time, accompanying to the ring by his bodyguard, Mr. Boricua, and his valet, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Weighing in at 223lbs. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the Puerto Rican Champion. PUERTO RICAAAANNNNNN LIGHTTTNNNNNINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

 

Jesse: When will people learn that it's bad luck for the champion to enter first? This is all a conspiracy against PRL! A conspiracy I tells ya!

JR: Will you stop?

 

Lightning sneers at the crowd before entering the ring. The crowd continues booing him every move he makes. PRL enters the ring and does the HBK pose while pyro goes off behind him. Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the Puerto Rican Championship and raises it proudly on the turnbuckles. He then goes outside to jaw with the fans while his music dies down.

 

JR: PRL better remain focused if he wants to retain the Puerto Rican Championship.

Jesse: Lightning is ALWAYS focused JR. Cappa is the one that must be focused!

 

Lightning removes his sunglasses and left earring. He gets out of the ring as the lights begin flicking on and off. The crowd begins going crazy as "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)" by DJ Kool starts off.

 

A spotlight shines on Cappa as he begins dancing his way to the ring as usual. He is decked out in his usual attire of Baggy style loose jeans, white tennis shoes, and a white t-shirt wearing a yellow bucket hat and orange sunglasses to the ring. He slaps hands with the fans and is clearly feeding off their love of him just like he did at School's Out. PRL looks at him in disgust.

 

Jesse: Cappa is making a big mistake dancing to the ring. He should be conserving energy. This is the biggest match of his career so far. Infact, this could be his FINAL match of his career if the Lightning Crew have their way with him tonight.

JR: The kid's got a lot of heart Jesse. I will not lose faith in him. I have a feeling in my gut Jes. I have a feeling that tonight is the night. Tonight is the night that Cappa wins the Puerto Rican Championship.

JR: Like I said, The Mad Cappa has NO CHANCE IN HELL of beating PRL.

 

"Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)" by DJ Kool continues as the crowd breaks out into a chant of "Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa!" TMC poses on the top turnbuckle as the spotlight shines on him. PRL is still outside the ring as the house lights go back on and Cappa removes his hat and glasses. The crowd is pumped up big time as PRL eyes Cappa from the outside.

 

JR: This is it! Cappa's dream could come true! His dreams of making it big in the OaOasT could come true tonight! Tonight could be Mad Cappa's night!

Jesse: Stop wishing JR! It's not going to happen!

 

Lightning continues eying Cappa from outside the ring. He is defintley ready to fight but appears a little hesistant in stepping into the ring one-on-one with his arch-nemesis. The crowd is hot chanting "Let's go Cappa! Let's go Cappa! Let's Go Cappa!" Puerto Rican Lightning has a look of fear on his face as he gets a good luck kiss from Lindsay.

 

JR: PRL seems a little hesistant to fight Cappa.

Jesse: He is just conserving energy! This is a big match. Not just for Cappa. But for PRL as well. This is HIS chance to prove to the world who the better man is! And to give you a hint, his initals are P.R.L.!

 

Lightning finally gets into the ring but the bell hasn't sounded yet. He stands in one corner of the ring never laying his eyes off of Cappa. He trashtalks to TMC for a bit.

 

JR: And now it's psych-out time.

Jesse: Let the trashtalking begin.

 

PRL and The Mad Cappa are now face-to-face. They continue trashtalking. Lightning slaps Cappa in the face. The crowd boos.

 

JR: What a sign of disrespect from Puerto Rican Lightning!

Jesse: I am loving this, Jim Ross!

 

However, TMC returns the favor by shoving PRL to the mat. The crowd approves!

 

Jesse: No fair! He cheated!!!

 

Lightning gets up furiously and goes after Cappa with a left jab...that misses

 

*DING DING DING*

 

PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Puerto Rican Lightning (Champion w/Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez) vs. The Mad Cappa

 

And the match begins. The Mad Cappa wastes no time ducking PRL's jab and landing several punches of his own. Lefts, rights, lefts, rights. Cappa is going crazy on Puerto Rican's head and the crowd approves!

 

Jesse: This is not fair! This is not fair at all! Lightning wasn't ready! He needs to be ready!

JR: Cappa is now stomping a mudhole in PRL in the turnbuckle.

 

The Mad Cappa grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and throws him to the other turnbuckle. Lightning does the Flair Flip onto the ring apron. Lightning lands perfectly on the ring apron. He points to his head to show the crowd how smart he is.

 

Jesse: What a ring techincian Puerto Rican Lightning is!

 

However, The Mad Cappa hits PRL with a clothesline that sends him to the floor. The crowd is going crazy. Cappa is posing as Lightning gets helped up by Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.

 

JR: And The Mad Cappa is a house of fire early on in this match~!

Jesse: That's the key word, Jim Ross. "Early". This match ain't over yet! PRL will make sure of that!

 

The Mad Cappa continues waiting in the ring while the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Lightning is furious and demands that the fans shut up. He covers his ears to drown out the noise but it continues so he slaps his forehead four times.

 

Jesse: These fans are showing no respect at all for the Puerto Rican Champion!

JR: You have to EARN respect Jesse. And frankly, PRL hasn't earned the fans respect since he debuted.

Jesse: He deserves respect! He is a great athlete and a great person all around!

JR: Cappa not wasting anymore time in the ring, and he now goes chasing after Lightning outside the rign!

Jesse: Leave PRL alone!

 

The Mad Cappa chases Puerto Rican Lightning around the ring. Lightning is scared out of his mind. The chase keeps going until Mr. Boricua steps in with a vicious clothesline on Mad Cappa on the floor.

 

JR: BAW GAWD~! That had to hurt!

Jesse: Cappa ain't going to feel so good in the morning.

 

Mr. Boricua grabs The Mad Cappa and throws him back into the ring. Puerto Rican, seizing an oppturninty, goes for the first cover of the match.

 

1....2....Kick out!

 

JR: But Cappa is still alive!

 

The crowd cheers turn to boos as PRL grabs Cappa and throws him to the ropes, Spinning Heel Kick. Cover.

 

1...2...Kick out!

 

JR: Lightning is now having control in this match.

Jesse: And you shouldn't be suprised by that! Lightning IS the better man after all!

 

Puerto Rican....with a vertical suplex on Cappa. He then applies an arm-bar in the middle of the ring.

 

Jesse: PRL is now going to weaken Cappa's bones!

 

Lightning continues applying the hold. Soon, TMC is able to get up. He guts Lightning several times and goes to the ropes. But, PRL is able to do his signature front-and-back leapfrogs on Cappa and follows with a dropkick. PRL goes for the cover.

 

1...2...Kick Out!

 

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning now applying a chinlock. He picks up Cappa...backbreaker. He holds on for a surfboard stretch.

 

PRL continues applying the surfboard stretch while Cappa screams in pain. The referee continues checking on Cappa while PRL continues with the hold. He gives up soon and picks up Cappa again. Whip to the ropes...and Cappa comes back with the Fall From Grace. Cappa goes for the cover.

 

1...2....Thr-Kick Out!

 

JR: DAMNIT!!! Cappa had it! He almost had it!

 

The Mad Cappa picks up Puerto Rican Lightning and hits a reverse DDT. He picks him up again and prepares for the IMPACT. He hits the IMPACT!

 

Jesse: What the hell is that? That is the stupidest move I have ever seen!

JR: But it has knocked PRL out, Jes.

Jesse: No it hasn't.

 

Cappa goes for the cover.

 

1...2..Kick out.

 

Jesse: See?

 

Cappa heads to the top rope....missle dropkick. Both men are now down. By now, the face-paint on PRL's face is half gone.

 

JR: This match has taken a toll on both men.

Jesse: Moreso on Cappa, Jim Ross. Look at him!

JR: PRL ain't in great shape either.

 

Both men struggle to get up so the ref starts the 10 count.

 

Jesse: No!

JR: Why you say that Jess? If there's a 10 count, PRL keeps the title.

Jesse: But that doesn't prove anything. PRL's got to prove he's better than The Mad Cappa.

 

1.....

 

2......

 

3.......

 

4.......

 

5........

 

6.....Cappa starts to get up.

 

7......PRL starts to move. His makeup is now 3/4 gone.

 

8......Cappa is on one knee.

 

9.......Cappa is up. The crowd is now going crazy. The Mad Cappa heads to the ropes....but PRL snaps back up with a spinebuster.

 

Jesse: HAHAHA! PRL was playing possum all along Jim Ross and Cappa believed it! What a rookie mistake.

JR: He IS a rookie Jesse!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning stands over the fallen Mad Cappa in the center of the ring....and removes his right elbow pad. The crowd stands up as they know what PRL is going to do.

 

JR: Oh dear.

Jesse: You know what time it is JR!

JR(sarcasticaly): No. What is it?

Jesse(excited): It's now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, NOT sportz entertainment-The Puerto Rico Elbow!

JR(sarcastic): Oh joy.

 

PRL spits on his right elbow pad then throws it down on Cappa's face. He moves his arms a few times then bounces off the ropes. Before he hits the elbow....he dances a little mocking The Mad Cappa.

 

Jesse: Hey, PRL is not such a bad dancer isn't he?

 

The Puerto Rico Elbow connects and Lightning goes to cover.

 

1...2...Kick out and TMC manages to push PRL off of him and across a few feet in the ring!

 

JR: WOAH~! DID YOU JUST SEE THE POWER OF THE MAD CAPPA?

 

The crowd is now hyped once again. Cappa is getting his second wind and begins once again throwing lefts and rights at the bewildered and hurting PRL. He chops him several times in the turnbuckle. He goes to throw PRL to the other turnbuckle, but PRL reverses, but Cappa reverses again but eats boot on the way to the turnbuckle.

 

Jesse: Smart move by PRL. Though, you shouldn't be suprised by that.

JR: Give me a break.

 

PRL....with the Shinning Wizard!

 

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning is now heading to the top rope!

Jesse: Yes JR! He's going for it! He's going for the FU Elbow Drop!

 

P.R. Lightning grabs his left elbow pad and throws it to the crowd. He follows with the "UP YOURS!" hand signal then goes for the FU Elbow Drop.....which misses. The crowd explodes.

 

JR: OH MY~! THE FU ELBOW DROP HAS NEVER MISSED BEFORE AND CAPPA IS THE FIRST TO DO IT! I THINK I CAN SAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THIS MATCH, THAT THE MAD CAPPA HAS PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING WHERE HE WANTS HIM!

Jesse: STOP YELLING!!!

 

The Mad Cappa grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and begins punching him again. X-Factor. The Mad Cappa heads to the top rope....and hits the Top Rope Legdrop. He goes for the cover.

 

1....2....Kick out.

 

(Jesse Ventura almost had a heart attack right then and there)

JR: Are you ready to admit it, Jes? Are you ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, The Mad Cappa can WIN this match!

Jesse: No I am not! This is just luck! He's just lucky that's all!

 

The Mad Cappa sets PRL for the Cappabomb but PRL backdrops out of that. Puerto Rican Lightning wastes no time and applies the Sharpshooter on The Mad Cappa.

 

JR: SHARPSHOOTER~! SHARPSHOOTER~! SHARPSHOOTER~!

Jesse: It's over JR! I can feel it! It's over! PRL is going to retain!

 

The Sharpshooter is locked in the middle of the ring. The crowd is going wild waiting for Cappa to break free. He manages to make it to the ropes but PRL thinks he won.

 

JR: The poor clod thinks he's still Champion.

Jesse: Look out PRL!

 

Cappa comes back with the Final Cut. He goes for the cover.

 

1...2...Kick out!

He covers again.

1...2...Kick out!

1...2...Kick out!

He covers again.

1...2....Kick out.

 

Jesse: He just can't put Lightning down. HaHa!

 

The Mad Cappa grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and applies the Walls of Cappa.

 

JR: WALLS OF CAPPA~! WALLS OF CAPPA~! WALLS OF CAPPA~!

 

The crowd is going crazy as PRL screams in pain.

 

JR: GIVE UP PRL! GIVE UP!

Jesse: And you claim I'm bias!

 

PRL makes it to the ropes but Cappa continues beating down on him. Cappabomb! Cover.

 

1...2....Kick out!

 

The Mad Cappa is frustrated and grabs PRL. He whips him to the ropes but Lightning comes back with the Flying Forearm. The crowd is booing as they know what is going to happen.

 

Jesse: YES!

JR: Oh no!

Jesse: He's setting Cappa up. He's setting him up for the P.R. Nightmare.

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning with another Flying Forearm! And another.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs The Mad Cappa and whips him to the ropes. Flying Forearm and he kips up. The crowd starts booing loudly and the "P.R. Sucks!" chants begin. PRL ignores that and heads to a turnbuckle where he starts stomping his left boot a'la Shawn Michaels.

 

JR: PRL is now Tuning up the band!

Jesse: Say goodbye to your chance at the Puerto Rican Championship Mad Cappa!

JR: PRL waiting patiently.

 

The Mad Cappa gets up.....and Puerto Rican Lightning hits him with the Sweet Chin Music---NO! Cappa grabs PRL's left foot and goes for the BUST A CAP! However, PRL shoves Cappa and goes for the Sweet Chin Music again, however Cappa again grabs PRL's left foot....and hits the BUST A CAP~! The crowd goes wild.

 

JR: BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! WE GOT A NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION!

 

The Mad Cappa goes to cover Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

1....2.....But Mr. Boricua is on the apron.

 

JR: Damnit! Damnit! What the hell is he doing there?!

Jesse: He's there for emotional support, Jim Ross!

 

The referee confronts Mr. Boricua. Meanwhile, PRL manages to get up and grabs the Puerto Rican Championship. He goes to swing it....but Cappa ducks and hits another BUST A CAP! He goes for the cover....but the referee is still being distracted by Mr. Boricua.

 

Suddenly, someone unexpected shows up.

 

JR: It's VITAMIN X

Jesse: What the hell is he doing here?

 

Vitamin X heads into the ring while Mad Cappa's back is turned to Mr. Boricua.....and hits Cappa with a stun taser. The crowd is shocked.

 

JR: WHA-? WHAT THE? HOW? VITAMIN X? NO! DON'T TELL ME!

Jesse: I'm afraid so, JR! Vitamin X is apart of the Lightning Crew!

 

The Mad Cappa is in pain from the stun taser attack as Vitamin X exits the ring and stays at ringside. Mr. Boricua continues distracting the ref as PRL hits the P.R. Nightmare on The Mad Cappa.

 

JR: P.R. Nightmare!

 

PRL covers the still shocked Cappa. Mr. Boricua gets off the apron and the ref sees PRL covering Cappa.

 

Jesse: YES!

 

1....2......3!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Ring Annoucer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and STILL Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning!!!

 

The crowd is pissed. They begin booing and chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts playing but quickly dies down as The Lightning Crew begin a beatdown on The Mad Cappa. Vitamin X takes off his shirt to reveal a Lightning Crew T-Shirt.

 

Jesse: YES! It's offical! Vitamin X is now apart of The Lightning Crew!

JR: BAW GAWD~! I Don't believe it! I Don't believe what I just saw! I don't believe it!

 

The crowd continues booing as The Lightning Crew continue their beatdown on the already hurt Mad Cappa.

 

JR: Stop this! Stop this carnage!

Jesse: The way I look at it, Cappa is getting exactly what he deserves!

 

The Lightning Crew take turns beating Cappa to a pulp as the boos continue. PRL does another P.R. Nightmare followed by a chokeslam from Mr. Boricua. PRL and Vitamin X head to the outside where they find a chair and a handcuffs.

 

JR: Oh no. Oh no. Don't tell me this is going to get worst.

Jesse: It's about to get 100x worse for The Mad CRAPPA.

 

Mr. Boricua continues stomping Mad Cappa, who is nearly unconscious and struggling for dear life, while Puerto Rican Lightning handcuffs The Mad Cappa to the second rope.

 

The booing has gotten even louder as the fans chant "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!" The Lightning Crew tease Cappa as Vitamin X grabs the stun taser again....and uses it 4 times on the already shocked Cappa. Cappa is screaming as PRL grabs the chair.

 

JR: This is just brutal! Why those no good disgusting, low-life scum.

Jesse: And it just keeps on getting better! HAHA! Serves Cappa right for being a thorn on PRL's side all these months!

JR: Now what?

 

Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X hold The Mad Cappa's head up as Puerto Rican Lightning, laughing the entire time, searches for the right spot to hit Cappa with the chair. He searches until he finds the right spot. On the forehead.

 

*Thwack*

 

A giant chairshot busts Cappa wide open.

 

*Thwack*

 

Another one and Cappa is bleeding profusely.

 

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

*Thwack*

 

The crowd groans with each chair shot. Cappa is now bloodied but the beatdown continues as the booing and "P.R. Sucks!" chants get louder. The Lightning Crew ignore all of this and are just enjoying hurting Cappa.

 

JR: Please! Stop this! Stop this now!

Jesse: No! They are going to cripple The Mad Cappa.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning places the chair on Cappa's left arm. Vitamin X steps on it breaking Cappa's arm instantly.

 

JR: Oh MY~!

 

Vitamin X grabs the chair and places it on Cappa's right ankle. PRL steps on it and his right ankle breaks instantly.

 

Cappa screams like there is no tommorrow. PRL lays several chairshots to The Mad Cappa's ribs. He throws the chair away and suddenly has an evil look on his face.

 

JR: Oh no.

Jesse: Oh yes. I wonder what Puerto Rican is planning now?

 

The Lightning Crew uncuff Cappa from the top rope and drag his bloody body to the outside. His white shirt is now covered in blood along with his pants. The blood continues to flow as Mr. Boricua lays several shots on Cappa's forehead.

 

JR: This is not going to be good for Cappa. WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THIS?!

Jesse: This could be it. We maybe seeing the end of The Mad Cappa's career! This is great!

JR: This is horrible Jes! This is a young man with a future ahead of him. But it may all be over thanks to this no good sonofa-

Jesse: Watch your mouth, Jim Ross!

 

Vitamin X holds The Mad Cappa's neck on the barricade as PRL goes to get the ring bell.

 

 

The rest of the Lightning Crew hold Mad Cappa near the barricade. Puerto Rican Lightning climbs the top rope with a ring bell in his hands.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning poses as the fans are now near a riot. He jumps off the top turnbuckle....and smashes the ringbell onto The Mad Cappa's throat. His throat also hits the barricade and he is now gagging for air.

 

JR: OH MY! WHAT A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MOVE! PRL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF!!! DAMN HIM!!! BAW GAWD~! DAMN HIM!!!

 

Finally, medics and emergency personnel come and check on The Mad Cappa who is coughing up blood and gagging for air.

 

JR: This could be the end of The Mad Cappa's career!

Jesse: And The Lightning Crew wouldn't have it any other way!

JR: How can you be so damn happy at what went down?!!!

Jesse: Cappa got exactly what he deserved!!!

JR: How hearltess of a human being can you be?!!

 

The Mad Cappa gets put on a stretcher. Still bleeding and gagging for air. The crowd cheers Mad Cappa chanting "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!" but as soon as he leaves they go back to "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" The Lightning Crew celebrate in the ring amid the carnage they caused!

 

JR: First the Trinity, Now this? BAW GAWD~! IntenseZone is going to be an interesting show from now on!

Jesse: Like I said Jim Ross, The Mad Cappa had NO CHANCE IN HELL of winning the Puerto Rican Championship and I was right! Damn, I hate being right all the time. No I don't. HAHAAHA!!!

 

Garbage is thrown at The Lightning Crew as the Lightning Crew theme song "No Chance In Hell" starts up. PRL dances a bit to mock Cappa as the fans continue to boo.

 

JR: WHAT A NIGHT! WHAT A WEEK WE HAVE HAD HERE ON INTENSEZONE!

Jesse: A new North American Champion. The Trinity. AND the END of The Mad Cappa! I love it!

JR: Cappa may never wrestle again thanks to that no good Puerto Rican Lightning!

Jesse: He deserves for getting in PRL's business!!!

JR: AW, KISS MY ASS!!! FOLKS, IZ WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME!!!

 

::Shot of The Lightning Crew celebrating in the ring while "No Chance In Hell" blares in the background. The final shot is of Puerto Rican Lightning raising the Puerto Rican Championship while grinning angrily. He then laughs an evil laugh as the screen fades to black::

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Thanks to everyone who wrote stuff, I'd do more but the damn copier just messed up again and I'm on the verge of going postal...

 

 

thanks