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Guest ShooterJay

Danny Doring Fears Me

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Guest ShooterJay

After resolving the Doring/Darring confusion in the OAOAST, I decided to IM ECW/XPW "star" Danny Doring and ask him why he would choose such a shit-tacular ring name. Here is the exact transcript of our conversation:

 

JayRDoring (11:48:23 PM): Hey dude, what's with you swiping my last name?

ECWDoring (11:48:43 PM): huh?

*At this point, I got blocked and he promptly signed off.*

 

What's the matter Danny boy? Can't explain why you picked the worst last name in the history of time to wrestle with? Well the joke's on you. There's a reason why you'll NEVER make it to WWE? It's not because

 

a) You wrestled for XPornW

b)Your ring attire looks like it came out of a John Waters movie.

c) Scott Keith called you the "most boring wrestler on earth."

d) Your offense consists of bush league finishers like "the panty drop elbow." Rick Rude you are not buddy.

e) Venereal diseases from Elektra and Francine, not to mention Roadkill's chickens.

f) You had one of the worst matches of BILL DEMOTT's career on Velocity.

 

Nope, it's because your name is Danny DORING. Ha, I was cursed with this last name, I didn't choose it, you did, Daniel Morrison. I mean, Danny Doring? Did you even think of what it rhymed with? Danny Boring Snoring Whoring Doring will be selling his ECW Tag Team belt in a few years for food, if you haven't already. All because of the name. That and reasons a through f.

 

TNA isn't calling. CZW isn't calling. ROH isn't calling. Wildside isn't calling. IWA Mid South isn't calling. Broke and forever known as a Doring, that's the life you chose jackass.

 

You better hope you're retired, living on food stamps, and using your steroid-shrunken Danaconda to get off 50 year old men in a few years Daniel Morrison, because "Shooter" Jay Darring will live up to his name and kick your ass for bringing even further shame and disgrace to the Doring last name.

 

 

<---owns the real "Danaconda."

Edited by ShooterJay

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Guest Aero

I remember a few years back, I believe February 2000, ECW Hardcore Revolution the videogame was coming out. To promote the game, Danny Doring and Nova had an autograph session at the local Babbage's in the mall. While other fans gathered around the table, I was playing the horrible ECW game not to far away. Soon enough, Nova decided to grab the 2nd controller. I was Justin Credible, and he was... Nova. I beat him, and right after, Doring decided that he wanted a piece, but instead of being himself, he was... Big Sal, as he claimed that he wanted to see the fat bastard move around the ring. BTW, you know the ECW game is bad when ECW wrestlers rip on it. I was more than 1/2 way down the aisle, and Sal, from the inside of the ring, suddenly flies outside and manages to hit me. Doring's reaction: "What the hell was that!?" I also managed to beat Doring BTW, and thus concluded my adventure...

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