AIW Slams & Jams! (5-30-03)

[Guest nWoScorpion]

- Last Week's show was pre-empted due to College Baseball, so here's this week and THANKFULLY it's late 1980's stuff.

 

- Sadly, the TV and VCR in my den are both broken, and that's where I keep my computer, so now I need to hand write all my reviews, and it annoys me. Expect a lot of mean spirited stuff in coming weeks.

 

- Your Hosts are some guys at random.

 

- "Maniac" Matt Borne Vs. Jeff Gaylord: (USWA)

I forgot to start the timer for this match. Damn it. They lockup, and trade control several times before Gaylord breaks clean. Borne comes back with a hip toss and they lockup again. Gaylord hammers away on Borne followed by a slam. Borne comes back with a standing drop-kick followed by a clothesline. Lockup and Gaylord with an armbar, and they trade reversals and Gaylord works the arm. Borne fights him off but gets beat on and caught in a bearhug. Gaylord with a stun gun and he stomps away. Cross Body misses and Borne nails a top rope clothesline. Back drop and powerslam by Matt followed by a belly to back suplex! Some random heels run in though and that draws the DQ win for Matt Borne at the 6:00 mark. Match was nothing, so I'll be nice and say * for the hot crowd and a moment or two of goodness. Jimmy Jack Funk of all people chases off the heels, along with some other guy who resembles Dustin Rhodes.

 

- Lumberjack Match:

"Gentleman" Chris Adams Vs. K.Y. Chui: (USWA)

No! Not a lumberjack match! I hate these...at least this isn't a whatever on a pole match. Chui is a big fat guy who acts Japanese. he throws the ceremonial sault. Jarrett whips him with a strap from the outside. A heel tries the same on Adams but nails Chui by mistake. Mucho Stalling. Lockup...(waits)...(looks at watch)...they get straps from people in their corner. Nevermind, referee takes them away. Adams does some somersaults to scare Chui. Lockup and Adams sends Chui to his men to get whipped. Adams pummels him and knocks him on his ass. Adams gets whipped from inside the ring, and is sent to the outside for an ass kicking. Chui hammers away for a while. A long while. Billy Joe Travis chokes Adams with his strap (on). Adams makes the comeback on Chui and nails a flying cross body press for two. Running clothesline followed by a top rope clothesline by Adams. Lumberjacks brawl, and that distracts the referee, so Travis nails Adams with a kendo stick from the top rope, and Chui makes the cover for three at 8:53. -* That sucked. Crowd chants Bullshit on regular TV. From the late 1980's!

 

- William Ford & Rusty Stevens Vs. Randy Culley & Cult Steele: (NAWA)

Culley is formerly known as one of the Moondogs (Spot I think) and the original Smash of Demolition. Stevens & Steele start. Cult with a lockup and Stevens with an armbar. Side headlock by Stevens, and I think The Dragon is on commentary! More armbar. Ford & Culley in and Culley hammers his black ass. They trade wristlocks and Ford mule kicks Culley off of him. Go-behind wristlocks by Ford into an armbar, but Culley nails him with a forearm to the midsection to take over. Ford comes back with a crossbody press for two. Culley avoids a drop-kick and drops an elbow. Steele in with a big back breaker followed by a knee lift. Bearhug is applied, and the referee reminds me of Joey Morella. Culley in with a gut-wrench suplex on Ford for two. Bearhug is applied again and he calls a spot on TV. Culley with a slam but he misses an elbow drop, and Stevens makes the tag. Drop-kick to Culley, and he hammers on Steele. Steele boots him and nails a powerbomb! Culley in and applies the camel clutch for the submission victory at 7:10. 1/4* Next.

 

- Video of Jeff Jarrett beating up on some poor jobber. How shameful we have to see Jeff Jarrett ALL THE TIME ON THIS SHOW.

 

- Guitar on a Pole Match:

Jeff Jarrett Vs. Billy Joe Travis: (USWA)

...No!!! I hate these matches! Jerry Lawler is on commentary for this match. Jarrett immediately hammers away on Travis and they brawl to the outside. Back drop and a slam on the concrete by Jarrett! Jarrett with a chair shot. Vertical suplex and hard rights by Jarrett. Travis with a big running knee lift and some hard rights to Jarrett. Jarrett eats buckle. Travis goes for the guitar but Jarrett stops him and hammers away on the top rope. Top rope suplex by Jarrett! Jarrett beats the crap out of Travis on the announce table and DDT's him on it! Piledriver on the Floor!

 

[Commercial Break]

 

We're back and Jarrett nails a tombstone Piledriver in the ring! He goes for the pole and recovers the guitar for the win at 7:37! Match was decent enough for **1/2. Lawler comes in and hammers on Jarrett. He busts the guitar over him after a few shots. Kerry Von Erich (Woo!) Makes the save and hammers away on both Travis and Lawler! The heels take over, but Jarrett nails Travis with the chair! Von Erich with the discus punch to Travis! He hammers on Lawler sending him outside! Woo! Von Erich rules!

 

- "Stunning" Steve Austin Vs. Jimmy James: (USWA)

Wow, this is REALLY old school Steve Austin. Wristlock by Austin followed by a side headlock. Shoulder block and headlock takeover by Austin. Shoulder block followed by a hip toss. Headlock by Austin and he pummels the jobber. Wristlock by Austin is turned into an armbar. Jimmy James with his only offense by nailing Ausitn with a crossbody press for two. Austin hammers him and stun guns him (called a stunner by the announcer) and Austin finishes him with a diving football tackle at 2:55. DUD Squash Match of the night. Austin was VERY green here.

 

Final Thoughts: Well...I like old school wrestling so it's cool, but they went out of their way to make this weeks show suck. a Lumberjack and Whatever on a Pole Match on the same 60 minute show?! My god!