WWE Comedy

[Guest madmatt2002]

(Warning...this diary is comedy and comedy alone. If you take this seriously, you should slowly back away from your computer right now. You have been warned)

 

(Another Note:The other WWE diary is not dead. I just wanted to do a comedy diary for a change)

 

Well that hidden camera footage of Vince McMahon and Big Bossman in a...comprosing position in the bathroom paid off. I have landed myself a 10 year unsackable agreement with the WWE.

 

My First Official Act....The Roster Split is dead and buried. No explaination. This the WWE for crying out loud. Did you really expect an explaination. If we told you cats chase dogs you would believe it and like it.

 

My Second Act...to fire that no good lockeroom cancer, that backstage politician, that no good rotten son of a bitch....Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle has been holding down workers for ages let me tell you.

 

Raw will be up in a couple of minutes. The End is near.

[Guest madmatt2002]

(Since this Diary is comedy, I am using EWR match outputs.)

 

WWE Raw 6/2/03

 

Austin announces a match

Stone Cold Steve Austin announces that he will get back into the ring one more time at Bad Blood. WHAT. He said he will get back into the ring one more time at Bad Blood. WHAT. You heard what he said. Austin will face both Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon to decide the undisputed GM of the WWE. WHAT. You know. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. Austin also says some jackass named Matt Harms has renamed him Wifebeater Steve Austin. WHAT. He is a Violent Drunk. WHAT. Beats on women. WHAT. and Big Bossman. WHAT.

 

83

 

Notes:Wifebeater Steve Austin debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Wifebeater Steve Austin lost overness from this segment.

 

Billy Kidman vs Bill DeMott : Spinning back kick from Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman strikes DeMott. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Hard back suplex on DeMott. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Billy Kidman misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Billy Kidman takes a right hand to the temple from DeMott. Weak bodyslam by DeMott. There's a two count on the pin. Kidman blocks a kick from Bill DeMott. Flying reverse elbow by Billy Kidman. Hooks the leg for a two count. DeMott walks into a face crusher variation. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Kidman walks into a trip. Kidman receives some unexciting punishment. Kidman counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Funaki just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Bill DeMott gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Kidman takes some shots at DeMott as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. Funaki has grabbed a chair. Kidman walks over...and gets floored with a hard shot. DeMott also takes a hard shot. Funaki has laid everybody out! It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

(After the Match, Funaki ran out yelling, Ninja Vanish. Funaki is now a Ninja. )

 

Winner:No One. Funaki is a Ninja. Hi-Yah.

Overall:58

Crowd Reaction:53

Match Quality:64

 

Notes:Funaki debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response.

 

William Regal interview

A look at William Regal. He will return soon. He is featured tripping over objects and spilling tea on himself.

 

73

 

Notes:William Regal debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response(bumbling Englishman BTW)

 

Lance Storm interview

Lance Storm is wearing a top hat and cape. He threatens to make that monster Spike Dudley dissapear. Lance Storm says it will be no illusion when he beats Spike tonight.

 

73

 

Notes:Lance Storm debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. (Magician is Storm's new gimmick)

 

Lance Storm vs Spike Dudley : Storm hits a dropkick on Spike Dudley. Flying cross body off the top rope! I'll give a 0.8 on the Steamboat scale for that effort. Hooks the leg for a two count. Spike Dudley comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Spike Dudley hits a right hand on Lance Storm. Spike Dudley strikes Lance Storm. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Spike. Pin, but Storm is out just before the three count. Spike Dudley with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Storm. Lance Storm avoids a Spike Dudley avalanche. Super frankensteiner on Spike, who hit hard. There's a two count on the pin. Diamond Dust from Lance Storm, Spike is out. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Lance Storm strikes Spike. Spike Dudley elbows Lance Storm in the face to break a hammerlock. Weak bodyslam on Storm by Spike. Spike Dudley turns Storm inside-out with a clothesline. Lance Storm can barely stand. Here it comes - Choke Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

(A 5'6" guy doing a choke slam is somewhat humerous I might add. Spike is now a Monster)

 

Winner:Spike Dudley

Overall:67

Crowd Reaction:58

Match Quality:76

 

Notes:Spike Dudley debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response. Lance Storm lost overness from this match. Spike Dudley gained overness from this match.

 

White Boy Challenge Time

Therodore R. Long comes out and does his usual thing. Rodney Mack will give anybody in the lockeroom five minutes to beat him. Out comes Jacqueline to answer. Two problems with this. 1. Jacqueline ain't white and 2. Jacqueline ain't a boy. Jacqueline says she doesn't back the mack. Rodney Mack attacks and the match is on.

 

43

 

Jacqueline vs Rodney Mack : Weak kick from Jacquie. Rodney Mack pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Mack strikes away at Jacqueline. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Side suplex from Mack. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Jacquie powers out of a headlock. Jacqueline hits a weak elbow on Rodney Mack. Messed up bodyslam by Jacquie. Cover for a two count. Jacquie DDTs Rodney Mack. Pin, but Mack is out just before the three count. Mack blocks a kick from Jacqueline. Big clothesline from Mack. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Jacquie ducks a wild right hand. Jacqueline moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Powerslam. 1....2...3, it's finished. Slap a DUD on it, move on.

(The White Boy Challenge is finished in the most illogical way possible. It was ended by someone who was neither white or a boy. Rodney Mack is going to be repackaged in some sad angle...er cool new gimmick)

 

Winner:Jacqueline

Overall:42

Crowd Reaction:43

Match Quality:42

 

Notes:Rodney Mack was sluggish and didn't put much effort in. Rodney Mack lost overness from this match. Jacqueline gained overness from this match(yeah, what her lose to every non-wrestling diva in the next couple of weeks)

 

Chris Jericho vs Hurricane : Spinning back kick from Hurricane. Jericho backdrops Hurricane out of a piledriver attempt. Double arm suplex by Chris Jericho, Hurricane hits hard. Jericho whips Hurricane into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. Death valley driver by Chris Jericho, Hurricane got planted. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Hurricane comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Hurricane hits a rolling kick on Jericho. Super frankensteiner on Jericho, who hit hard. There's a two count on the pin. Vicious kick to the teeth from Hurricane. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Chris Jericho takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Jericho crushes Hurricane with a big legdrop. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Hurricane kicks Chris Jericho in the gut to reverse the momentum. Hurricane moves in for the kill. Eye Of The Hurricane!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Avatar comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Hurricane turns around...straight into a Snow Plow!! Hurricane has been left down on the canvas. I can't decide whether it's a *** or a ***1\2 match...let's go for a ***1\4 rating to make it fair.

(This is the closest thing you are going to get to workrate. What is Al Snow doing dressed up like Avatar. I haven't booked that far in advance yet so it will probally be forgotten on the next show)

 

Winner:The Hurricane(via the Eye of the Hurricane)

Overall:83

Crowd Reaction:81

Match Quality:85

 

Notes:Chris Jericho debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response. Avatar debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Chris Jericho lost overness from this match. Hurricane gained overness from this match. (Chris Jericho is a Lumberjack because Lumberjacks=Ratings and Avatar is a Comic Book Villian)

 

Tommy Dreamer raps

 

Yo bitch

I got the itch

I am the Hardcore Rapper of the WWE

Because you got to See.

I have been hit with chairs and barbed wire.

I even have been set on fire.

I been put through tables.

I have been forced to watch matches involving Sable.

So it should be a fact.

That wrestling is far from an act.

Tommy Dreamer is the new rapping king of xtreme.

and...I can't think of anything that rhymes with Xtreme

 

64

 

Notes:Tommy Dreamer debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response. (If you can't out what his gimmick is after reading that last promo, you should stop reading now)

 

Triple H vs Brock Lesnar (For The WWE World Title) : Triple H hits Lesnar. Weak headbutt on Lesnar by HHH. Running clothesline from Triple H, sloppily done. Brock Lesnar takes a right hand to the temple from HHH. Lesnar pushes out of a Triple H hold. Big backdrop on HHH, executed well. Spear by Brock Lesnar. Hooks the leg for a two count. HHH pushes out of a Brock Lesnar hold. Weak bodyslam by HHH. Hooks the leg for a two count. Triple H scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Pin, but Lesnar is out just before the three count. Brock Lesnar fights out of a grapple. Lesnar bodyslams Triple H. HHH backdrops Brock Lesnar out of a piledriver attempt. Triple H with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Lesnar. Some fan with a Triple H shirt(Jackie Gayda) comes running down the aisle with a chair! HHH goes to irish whip Brock Lesnar into the ropes. The fan (Jackie) hits Lesnar with a chair to the back! Brock Lesnar can barely stand. Pedigree! 1....2....3. Triple H slides out of the ring to the floor, then turns and leaves through the crowd. He's happy to have the win, and doesn't want to be mugged by his obssessed fan. I'll give this a ***1\4 rating.

(Jackie Gayda makes her long awaited return as the Triple H obessed fan from hell. A feud with Stephanie is in short order)

 

Winner and Unified WWE World Champion:Triple H

Overall:82

Crowd Reaction:89

Match Quality:62

 

Notes:Jackie Gayda debuted her new gimmick. (Obsessed Fan for Triple H. Probally his only fan but does that really matter.)

 

Overall:68

[Guest madmatt2002]

I fire several other lockeroom diseases:

Booker T

Brock Lesnar

Chris Benoit

Edge

Rey Misterio Jr.

 

I signed two world class superstars:

Tatanka

Steve "Mongo" McMichael.

[Guest kane3212321]

You know the sad thing is that they'll probably end the White Boy challenge in that same way.....

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

I'm awaiting the signing of the Bushwhackers and Kamala, and the firing of Chris Jericho and Rob Van Dam.

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Smackdown 6/5/03

 

Triple H is being stalked backstage

We someone stalking Triple H in the lockeroom. This goes on for about 20 minutes of nothing.

 

79

 

 

Spike Dudley vs John Cena : Uninspiring brawling from Spike Dudley. Spike Dudley gets taken down out of nowhere. Cena bodyslams Spike Dudley. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Massive lariat, apparently Cena has been watching The Best Of Stan Hansen again. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Spike Dudley ducks a clothesline attempt. Spike Dudley hits a right hand on John Cena. Big clothesline from Spike. There's a two count on the pin. Spike Dudley scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Cena counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Spear by John Cena. Hooks the leg for a close fall. John Cena misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. John Cena can barely stand. Choke Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Notes:John Cena debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. John Cena lost overness from this match. Spike Dudley gained overness from this match. (I forgot what I regimmicked John Cena as but I am changing it since it was successful. Spike Dudley is 2-0. Who's next.)

 

Steve McMichael Interview:[/b]

 

Steve McMichael rambles on for about 15 minutes for no reason. He just rambles on and on and on. Smell the Ratings.

 

45

 

La Resistance vs Eddie \ Terri (For The WWE Smackdown! Tag Team Titles) : Uninspiring brawling from Terri. Grenier blocks a punch. Sylvan Grenier strikes Terri. Grenier tags out to Rene Dupree. Big backdrop on Terri, executed well. Big clothesline on Terri. Terri counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Incredibly weak powerslam on Dupree by Terri. Tag to Eddie Guerrero. Standing leg lariat by Eddie Guerrero on Dupree. Dupree takes a flying neckbreaker from Eddie Guerrero. Eddie drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Dupree slams Eddie Guerrero down. Tag to Sylvan Grenier. Sylvan Grenier scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Sylvan Grenier with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Eddie. Eddie Guerrero can barely stand. Here it comes - Running Powerslam. 1....2...3, it's finished. This gets a DUD, and should be thanking me for not bringing out the red-hot pokers up the ass rating.

 

Overall:35

Crowd Reaction:33

Match Quality:38

 

Notes:Terri debuted her new gimmick, it got a negative response. Terri basically no-sold everything, which ruined the match. The crowd were confused as to why this was a title match, when the champions weren't involved. This affected their response to the entire match. The WWE Smackdown! Tag Team title has lost image.(I will get back to you on Terri's new gimmick in a minute. Tajiri and Eddie are Smackdown Tag Team Champions but I made Terri and Eddie defend the title so...I can tank the image of the titles.)

 

Lance Storm interview

Lance Storm cuts an interview dressed in jeans, cowboy boots, a flannel vest, a hankerchief around his neck, and a cowboy hat. He is a redneck. Lance Storm's new gimmick is that he changes gimmicks every card he is on. He has a match against Scott Steiner(wait until you see what I have HIM gimmicked as) sometime in the near future.

 

68

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one.

 

Earlier Tonight[/b]

The same Triple H stalking segment from the top of the show was replayed in full.

 

79

 

Chris Jericho vs Kevin Nash : Weak headbutt on Jericho by Nash. Jericho reverses a Kevin Nash hammerlock. Jericho hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Tiger suplex on Nash, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Cover, but there's no one to count for Chris Jericho. Nash drops out the back of a Chris Jericho bodyslam attempt. Jericho takes a vertical suplex. Weak bodyslam by Nash. There's a two count on the pin. Kevin Nash scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Chris Jericho avoids a Kevin Nash avalanche. Nash takes a hurrancarana from Chris Jericho. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Jericho only gets knees on a splash. Chris Jericho can barely stand. Jacknife Powerbomb!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! A good *** rating.

(Nash beats Jericho. Nash is also in the match of the night so far. This is really scary. I will break Jericho's will yet. )

Overall:77

Crowd Reaction:83

Match Quality:63

 

Notes:Kevin Nash debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response. (I will get back to you on the gimmick of Nash)

 

Jackie Gayda interview

Jackie Gayda gives an interview and the sad part is...its one of the top segments of the night.

 

70

 

Notes:Jackie Gayda gained overness from this segment.

 

Tatanka vs Lance Storm : Tatanka hits Storm. Storm blocks the suplex attempt. Lance Storm strikes Tatanka. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Diamond Dust from Lance Storm, Tatanka is out. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Tatanka elbows Lance Storm in the face to break a hammerlock. Running clothesline from Tatanka, sloppily done. Tatanka hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Tatanka on Storm. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Lance Storm reverses a hip toss. Flying reverse elbow by Lance Storm. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Lance Storm gets taken down out of nowhere. Lance Storm can barely stand. Fallaway Slam! 1....2....3. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:52

Crowd Reaction:29

Match Quality:75

 

Notes:Lance Storm lost overness from this match. Tatanka gained overness from this match. This match suffered because the crowd were still pumped up from the last one, and so this bout was seen as something of a let-down to them.

 

(Tatanka is back in the WWE and Lance Storm jobs to him. No mention of Scott Steiner or anything like that)

 

Time Filler before the main event

We see Billy Kidman drinking a soda for no real reason.

 

36

 

Notes:Billy Kidman lost overness from this segment.

 

Triple H vs Nathan Jones (For The WWE World Title) : Nathan hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. Uninspiring brawling from Triple H. Triple H strikes Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones takes a right hand to the temple from HHH. Nathan blocks a kick from Triple H. Nathan Jones hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Nathan Jones hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Nathan only gets knees on a splash. Weak bodyslam by HHH. Cover for a two count. Sloppy tornado punch from Triple H, Nathan barely got hit. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Nathan kicks Triple H in the gut to reverse the momentum. Nathan Jones strikes Triple H. HHH backdrops Nathan Jones out of a piledriver attempt. Weak bodyslam on Nathan by HHH. Nathan Jones is in trouble. Pedigree!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

(This is the Smark's dream match. Triple H squashes Nathan Jones to prove that he is the Game-uh and he is that damn good-uh)

 

Overall:69

Crowd Reaction:82

Match Quality:41

 

Notes:Nathan Jones debuted his new gimmick. The WWE World title has lost image.

 

Overall:57

 

New Gimmicks:

Kevin Nash-Mentor

John Cena-Vampire(Working or not I can actually go somewhere with this)

Terri-Secretary

Nathan Jones-Bounty Hunter

 

and to close this out I release The Rock. Have fun in Hollywood, Nathan Jones has your spot in the Main Event.

[Guest The Superstar]

This is genius~!

 

Kevin Nash executing a hammerlock? Kidman drinking soda? Steve McMichael? Storm's gimmick?

 

I love it all.

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

Steiner gimmicked as an evil clown would work...

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

also, Funaki should have the "fun drunk" gimmick

[Guest madmatt2002]

I bump up my risk to 100 for no real reason.

 

WWE Velocity 6/7/03

 

For no real reason...

We see Crash Holly arriving at the arena and all of the sudden when see the ghost of Al Wilson swoop down onto Crash Holly. Crash twitches but Al Wilson's sprit slowly possesses his body. Crash Holly gets up and Al Wilson has possessed the body of Crash Holly.

 

Notes:Al Wilson(in the body of Crash Holly) debuted his new gimmick. (occult)

 

Triple H wants some investigation

 

We see Triple H in the office, bitching about being stalked. We pan back to see Scott Steiner, dressed up as Sherlock Holmes, telling Triple H that he is on the case. Elementry, my dear Helmsley.

 

75

 

Notes:Inspector Scott Steiner debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response.

 

A-Train vs Noble \ Tajiri : A-Train hits a right hand on Jamie Noble. Tajiri gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Weak bodyslam by A-Train. Hooks the leg for a two count. Noble takes a vertical suplex. A-Train drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Noble \ Tajiri whip A-Train into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hard back suplex on A-Train. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Springboard reverse elbow by Jamie Noble. Excellent move. Tajiri \ Noble whip A-Train into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Cover for a two count. Slingshot senton by Noble, crushing the chest of A-Train. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Lame kick from A-Train. Tajiri hits a rolling kick on A-Train. Tajiri \ Noble whip A-Train into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Cover for a two count. Spinning back kick from Jamie Noble. Noble walks into a trip. A-Train blocks a kick from Tajiri. A-Train DDTs Tajiri. Tajiri is in trouble. Here it comes - Derailer. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

(A-Train squashes two cruiserweights to prove that he is a hoss.)

 

Overall:69

Crowd Reaction:61

Match Quality:78

 

Notes:Tajiri lost overness from this match.

 

Al Wilson vs Chris Jericho : Al Wilson hits a right hand. Jericho pushes out of a Al Wilson hold. Spinning back kick from Chris Jericho. Jericho whips Al Wilson into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. Springboard dropkick from Chris Jericho. Nicely done. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Al Wilson ducks a clothesline attempt. Back elbow connects, Jericho staggers backward. Al Wilson hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Powerbomb on Jericho. Pin, but Jericho is out just before the three count. Chris Jericho reverses a hip toss. Tiger bomb by Chris Jericho, although no mention is made of whether it originated in Pearl River. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Al Wilson pushes out of a Chris Jericho hold. Al Wilson moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Viagra Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. Chris Jericho leaves and walks back down the aisle. Wait...Al Wilson comes running as well, and Jericho gets dropped with a clothesline, followed by a load of stomps. He is left lying in the aisle. I'm going to give this a ** rating because i'm in a generous mood.

 

Overall:61

Crowd Reaction:47

Match Quality:75

 

Notes:Chris Jericho lost overness from this match. Al Wilson gained overness from this match.

 

(Okay Al Wilson isn't really dead. Only his body is. The soul and spirit lives on in the body of Crash Holly. Jericho is 0-3 so far)

 

Just to fill a god damn segment

We see Billy Kidman sitting backstage drinking a soda. This is recycled footage from Smackdown, nothing new here.

 

39

 

Notes:Billy Kidman lost overness from this segment.

 

Undertaker vs Lance Storm : Powerslam from Undertaker on Storm. Undertaker moves in for the kill. Last Ride!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! This gets a **3\4 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:72

Crowd Reaction:70

Match Quality:75

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one.

 

(This match is SO true. Lance Storm came out in an old DX t-shirt and jeans. His gimmick for tonight is DeGenerate. )

 

Overall:57

 

I release Eddie Guerrero for holding down young potential talent such as Triple H, Kevin Nash, Nathan Jones, and Al Wilson(in the body of Crash Holly). To replace him I hire Mae Young. I have an interesting plan for her lets just keep it at that.

[Guest The Superstar]

(Y) another awesome show.

 

I nominate Al Wilson as *THE* next big thing.

[Guest madmatt2002]

Starting on Heat we have BRAND new commentary teams for each show.

 

Raw:Gene Okerlund and Eric Bischoff

Smackdown:Michael Cole and Steve McMichael

Velocity:Jonathan Coachman and Stephanie McMahon

Heat:Gene Okerlund and Steve McMichael.

 

Lets go with the Heat Preview:

 

Inspector Scott Steiner will attempt to find out who is stalking Triple H. Here are his prime suspects:

 

Steve McMichael

Jackie Gayda

Al Wilson

Nathan Jones

Count Cena(the artist formally known as John Cena)

"The Man of a Million Gimmicks" Lance Storm

 

The WWE's Number One Ninja Announcer Funaki will face "Main Eventer" Nathan Jones.

 

Lance Storm will debut a new gimmick to face Mr. America.

 

Jazz defends the WWE Woman's Title against...someone. We haven't decided whom yet.

 

Al Wilson teams up with Count Cena to face The World Tag Team Champions Kane and Rob Van Dam.

 

and in the main event:Triple H will talk.

 

All this and more. Join Gene Okerlund and Steve McMichael for Heat.

 

(Heat shall be up tommorow morning).

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Funniest thing on the board in a long time.

 

When you lose everything, this better be the first Fantasy Booking Thread in the Classics folder.

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Heat 6/8/03

 

Jazz comes down to the ring wearing...hardly anything. Oh my god. New Gimmick Alert-Jazz is a streaker. She defends the Woman's Title to open up Heat.

 

Jazz vs Jackie Gayda (For The WWE Womens Title) : Kick from Jackie, showing his awesome grasp of technical wrestling. Kick from Jackie, showing his awesome grasp of technical wrestling. Jackie uses a neckbreaker on Jazz. Uninspiring brawling from Jackie Gayda. Jazz counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Jazz hits a right hand on Jackie Gayda. Jazz hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Jackie Gayda elbows Jazz in the face to break a hammerlock. Jackie suplexes Jazz badly. Cover for a two count. Jackie Gayda with an enziguri, although the late Owen Hart's version was far superior. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Jazz blocks a kick from Jackie Gayda. Jackie Gayda takes a right hand to the temple from Jazz. Jackie counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Chop from Jackie on Jazz. Eric Bischoff comes running down the aisle carrying a robe in attempt to cover Jazz up! Jazz turns...and freaks out of the thought of getting covered up. Jazz can barely stand. Here it comes - Roll up. 1....2...3, it's finished. DUD.

 

Overall:32

Crowd Reaction:37

Match Quality:37

 

Notes:Jazz debuted her new gimmick, it got a positive response. Jazz lost overness from this match. Jackie Gayda gained overness from this match. The WWE Womens title has lost image.

(That gimmick actually got a POSITIVE RESPONSE. I am thinking my remaining fanbase is either blind people or teenagers stoned out of their mind)

 

Investigation

Scott Steiner is investigating the stalking of Triple H. His first suspect...Al Wilson. Al says he was having sex at the time of the crime with a 18 year old so he couldn't have done it. Steiner believes the story and will move on to the next suspect on Raw.

 

64

 

Notes:Al Wilson gained overness from this segmen

 

Funaki vs Nathan Jones : Nathan Jones punches away at Funaki. Nathan Jones gets taken down out of nowhere. Funaki strikes Main Event. Nathan Jones charges, Funaki moves, and the referee is conveniently placed to get knocked out. Diamond Dust from Funaki, Main Event is out. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Funaki drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Nathan Jones strikes Funaki. Nathan Jones hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Nathan Jones scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Main Event drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Super frankensteiner on Main Event, who hit hard. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Main Event backdrops Funaki out of a piledriver attempt. Nathan Jones floors Funaki. Here it comes...Main Event Sleeper! Funaki taps! Rating: 1\2 star.

 

Overall:50

Crowd Reaction:54

Match Quality:58

 

[Nathan Jones does a bulldog. He is expanding that offense. He wins with his new finisher...The Main Event Sleeper. He secondary finisher is the Main Event Spinebuster. Worthless moves if not done by anyone other then Triple H or Nathan Jones)

 

Lance Storm vs Mr. America : Messed up bodyslam by Mr America. Lance Storm gets knocked to the ground by Mr America. Legdrop Of Doom!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. I'm going to give this a ** rating because i'm in a generous mood.

 

Overall:61

Crowd Reaction:74

Match Quality:55

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one.

 

(Tonights gimmick was a fitness instructor. Lance Storm wrestled in a headband and workout pants. Lance Storm=Brooklyn Brawler 2003 after his past couple of matches)

 

Filling Time

We see Billy Kidman backstage picking his nose.

 

34

 

Notes:Billy Kidman lost overness from this segment.

 

Kane came out in his usual outfit and was met with piped in screaming of Teenage Girls. Kane is a Teen Idol.

 

Rob Van Dam came out on a White Stallion dressed in a suit of armor. Rob Van Dam=knight

 

Al Wilson \ Cena vs Unlikely Duo (For The WWE Tag Team Titles) : Rude Awakening on Rob Van Dam by Cena. Big piledriver on RVD. Tag between Count Cena and Al Wilson. Al Wilson with a spinning neckbreaker on RVD. Cover for a two count. Lifting DDT by Al Wilson, looked good. Tag between Al Wilson and Count Cena. Al Wilson \ Cena hook up RVD, then hit a double suplex. Pin, but RVD is out just before the three count. Rob Van Dam fights out of a grapple. RVD tags out to Kane. Back elbow connects, Cena staggers backward. Spinebuster by Kane. Kane tags out to Rob Van Dam. Unlikely Duo whip Cena into the corner. Kane whips Rob Van Dam in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Spin kick by Rob Van Dam to the face. Springboard reverse elbow by Rob Van Dam. Excellent move. Tag between Rob Van Dam and Kane. Kane slams Count Cena down. Cena counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Tag between Count Cena and Al Wilson. Spear by Al Wilson. Al Wilson moves in for the kill. Viagra Driver!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! I'll give it a **1\2 rating.

 

Overall:67

Crowd Reaction:73

Match Quality:77

 

Notes:Kane debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response. Rob Van Dam debuted his new gimmick. Kane lost overness from this match. Rob Van Dam lost overness from this match. Count Cena gained overness from this match. Al Wilson gained overness from this match.

 

(Ladies and Gentlemen we have NEW Tag Team Champions. We have TWO matches signed for Bad Blood and we still have three weeks to go before the PPV. The Updated Bad Blood card is after Heat)

 

Triple H time:

Triple H rambles on for the rest of the show. No mention of the stalking storyline, his obsessed fan Jackie Gayda, or his aborted feud with Kevin Nash. Nothing.

 

66

 

Notes:Triple H lost overness from this segment.

 

Overall:43

 

My road agent informs me that Nathan Jones is losing Heat because I am pushing him too much. No I don't think I am pushing him enough.

 

Nidia shows up late. I reward her with a Cruiserweight Title Shot on Raw(renamed the Jobberweight Title as of now) against whatever jobber has the belt. Doesn't really matter because they are not hosses so they won't get pushed.

 

I released Rhyno, Christopher Nowinski, and someone else. I also release that no good Paul Heyman. Telling me to push Workrate will he.

 

Bad Blood Card:

 

Winner is the Undisputed GM of the WWE:

Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff vs Stephanie McMahon

 

Match to Unify the Tag Team Champions.

La Resitance vs Al Wilson and Count Cena

 

Raw preview shall be up shortly.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

here is some gold for you, consider me Paul Heyman to your Vince McMahon:

 

I think that to challenge in the main event picture you could bring back the American Dream Dusty Rhodes gimmick but bring in Sapphire 2003 and Dusty in the POLKADOTS to feud with HHH!!!!!!

 

Oh and your welcome for the Awesome suggestion!!!!!

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Raw 6/9/03

 

Match for the rights to have Gold in there name:

Goldust vs Goldberg : Running knee lift from Goldust. Full nelson slam on Goldberg. Cover for a two count. Goldberg reverses a hip toss. Uninspiring brawling from Goldberg. Running clothesline from Goldberg, sloppily done. Hooks the leg for a two count. Goldberg scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Goldust takes a right hand to the temple from Goldberg. Goldberg only gets knees on a splash. Goldust hits a stump piledriver on Goldberg. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver by Goldust, Goldberg is down and hurt. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Rude Awakening on Goldberg by Goldust. Stiff chop lights up Goldberg. Goldberg drops out the back of a Goldust bodyslam attempt. Goldberg slams Goldust down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Goldberg turns Goldust inside-out with a clothesline. Goldberg moves in for the kill. Spear!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! *** rating for a good bout.

 

Overall:79

Crowd Reaction:80

Match Quality:67

 

Notes:Goldust debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response.

 

[i must be driving Scott Keith insane for him to give a match between Goldust and Goldberg, ***. Goldust's new gimmick, I don't know and really don't care. )

 

Mae Young arrives. Mae Young is here. Mae Young says she has an announcement that will SHAKE the foundation of the WWE later on tonight. It will be earthshattering. Groundbreaking. You won't believe it.

 

52

 

Nidia vs Matt Hardy (For The WWE Jobberweight Title) : Matt Hardy walks into a chop to the pecs. Nidia drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Kick from Matt Hardy to the leg. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Diamond Dust from Matt Hardy, Nidia is out. Cover, but there's no one to count for Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Nidia suplexes Mattitude to the canvas. Nidia hits a shaky delayed suplex on Mattitude. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chin crusher by Nidia, the execution wasn't great though. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Matt Hardy ducks a clothesline attempt. Mattitude crushes Nidia with a big legdrop. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Nidia drops out the back of a Matt Hardy bodyslam attempt. Matt Hardy gets knocked to the ground by Nidia, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Top Rope Legdrop! 1....2....3. Matt Hardy leaves the ring and heads off down the aisle. Mattitude obviously didn't want any more of a beating tonight. Bland match, but i'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:53

Crowd Reaction:44

Match Quality:62

 

Notes:Matt Hardy was sluggish and didn't put much effort in. Matt Hardy lost overness from this match. Nidia gained overness from this match. This match suffered because the crowd were still pumped up from the last one, and so this bout was seen as something of a let-down to them.

 

[And your NEW WWE Jobberweight Champion...Nidia. Expect the Woman and Jobberweight Title to be unified at Bad Blood when Jackie Gayda faces Nidia in a Tough Enough All-Stars match]

 

We here some James Bondish type music. We see the man who looks very familar but the angle was dropped last week so the WWE forgot he was even the fed. We see The Wrestler Formally Known as Rodney Mack dodging bullets and then disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

 

Coming Soon to the WWE...Secret Agent Mack.

 

59

 

Notes:Secret Agent Mack debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. (You may want to know what becomes of Theordore R. Long. Well we haven't booked that far yet. This show is written on a cocktail napkin fifteen minutes before showtime).

 

Big Show vs Christian (For The WWE Intercontinental Title) : Dropkick into the ladder by Christian, sending it into Show. Show takes a hurrancarana from Christian. Show blocks a punch. Big Show strikes Christian. Weak bodyslam on Christian by Show. Whip into the ladder by Show. Christian takes a right hand to the temple from Show. Christian blocks the suplex attempt. Show takes a hurrancarana from Christian. Vicious kick to the teeth from Christian. Driven DDT by Christian. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Christian blasts Show with a slingshot into the ladder. Big Show reverses a hip toss. Christian takes a vertical suplex. Side suplex from Show. Big Show moves in for the kill. Show Stopper!!! That shook the ring. Big Show climbs the ladder and grabs the prize for the win. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:61

Crowd Reaction:57

Match Quality:65

 

Notes:Big Show debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Christian debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response.

 

(Big Show in a ladder match. Who would have thought it. Also he is your new Interconinental Champion. I forgot I even regimmicked Show and Christian. Don't care about Christian because I am firing him after this show anyway but I will check on TBS)

 

Mongo Talks

Yes he does.

 

37

 

Al Wilson\Cena\Steiner vs Storm\Dupree\Grenier : Dropkick connects, Steiner goes down. Lance Storm hits a rolling kick on Steiner. Tag to Sylvan Grenier. Weak bodyslam on Steiner by Grenier. Powerslam from Sylvan Grenier on Steiner. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree. La Resistance whip Steiner into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Big backdrop on Steiner, executed well. Inspector Scott Steiner elbows Rene Dupree in the face to break a hammerlock. Incredibly weak powerslam on Dupree by Steiner. Tag between Inspector Scott Steiner and Al Wilson. Back elbow connects, Dupree staggers backward. Brutal powerbomb on Dupree. Pin, but Dupree is out just before the three count. Al Wilson hits an arm drag on Dupree. Tag between Al Wilson and Count Cena. Stiff chop lights up Dupree. Fallaway slam by Count Cena. Count Cena misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Tag between Rene Dupree and Lance Storm. Storm uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Cena tags out to Inspector Scott Steiner. Some weak shots by Steiner. Messed up bodyslam by Steiner. Lance Storm is in trouble. Baffling Move! 1....2....3. ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:66

Crowd Reaction:64

Match Quality:68

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one.

 

(The Baffling Move is Steiner's Inverted DDT which is baffling because he does something else besides an Overhead Belly-To-Belly. Lance Storm vs Inspector Scott Steiner on Smackdown. Lance Storm's gimmick was geek by the way)

 

Triple H vs Unlikely Duo : Kane bodyslams Triple H. Driven DDT by Rob Van Dam. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Unlikely Duo whip HHH into the corner. Rob Van Dam whips Kane in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Cover for a two count. Death valley driver by Kane, Triple H got planted. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Unlikely Duo whip HHH into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Kane counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Triple H hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Kane reverses a waistlock. Bodyslam by Kane. Unlikely Duo whip HHH into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Triple H takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Sloppy tornado punch from Triple H, RVD barely got hit. Rob Van Dam is in trouble. Pedigree!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! *** rating for a good bout.

 

Overall:78

Crowd Reaction:80

Match Quality:74

 

Notes:Rob Van Dam lost overness from this match.

 

(Triple H squashes both Rob Van Dam and Kane. What a surprise. This is truely revolutionary folks. Triple H will defend his unified gold belt against someone at Bad Blood. Perhaps who is stalking him if we bring that Storyline up again)

 

Chuck Palumbo vs Billy Kidman : Chuck Palumbo pulls Kidman onto the table for a powerbomb, but he uses a backdrop to get out of the predicament. Full nelson slam on Kidman. Chuck Palumbo gets taken down out of nowhere. Kidman hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Second rope flying axe handle, Palumbo goes down. Billy Kidman pulls Palumbo onto the table for a piledriver, but he uses a backdrop to survive. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Kidman walks into a trip. Nice piledriver on Kidman. Lifting DDT by Chuck Palumbo, looked good. Big clothesline on Kidman. Chuck Palumbo pulls Kidman onto the table for a powerbomb, but he uses a backdrop to get out of the predicament. Palumbo only gets knees on a splash. Second rope flying axe handle, Palumbo goes down. Tornado DDT from Billy Kidman, Palumbo got planted. Kidman throws Chuck Palumbo onto the table, then climbs to the top rope...and hits a flying splash to break the table and get the win. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:66

Crowd Reaction:56

Match Quality:76

 

Notes:Chuck Palumbo lost overness from this match. Billy Kidman gained overness from this match.

 

[This match happened so I can stall for time before the big main event. Kidman wins, he will be back to drinking soda, picking his nose, and doing other stuff to fill time on Smackdown so don't you worry]

 

Undertaker\Mr America\Main Event vs Hurricane\Molly\Jericho : Standing leg lariat by Chris Jericho on Main Event. Bodyslam by Jericho. Tag to Molly Holly. Molly uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Flying reverse elbow by Molly Holly. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Hurricane. Molly \ Hurricane whip Main Event into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Hurricane misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Weak slam from Main Event. Tag between Nathan Jones and Undertaker. Hurricane gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Flapjack from Undertaker on Hurricane. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Undertaker with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Hurricane. Tag to Mr. America. Weak kick from Mr America. Mr. America punches away at Hurricane. Hurricane counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Tag to Chris Jericho. Hard back suplex on Mr America. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Mr America tags out to Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones strikes Chris Jericho. Nathan Jones hits a bulldog off the ropes. Nathan Jones moves in for the kill. Main Event Spinebuster!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Almost wandered into *** match territory, but there was too much that dragged it down so it only gets a **3\4 rating.

 

Overall:73

Crowd Reaction:79

Match Quality:60

 

 

 

[This match is just to fill time before the REAL Main Event. The Mae Young bombshell. Nathan Jones gets another win. He has yet to be pinned in WWE]

 

Mae Young Interview:

Mae Young said 80 years Vince McMahon's grandmother had a one night stand which resulted in the birth of a girl. This girl is...her. Mae Young is a McMahon and is back to take her rightful share of the family fortune. Mae Young challenges Vince McMahon to a Ladder Match at Bad Blood(becauses its been almost TWO hours since we have seen one of those) for control of the WWE.

 

45

 

Overall:54

 

The Big Show is...a harsh German. DAMN.

 

On Smackdown:

Will Vince react to Mae Young's claims that she is indeed a member of the McMahon family?

 

Will Triple H find his stalker?

 

What gimmick will Lance Storm have?

 

and oh yeah since you want some matches Al Wilson and Count Cena will face Tajiri and Spanky in a World Tag Team Titles vs Careers Match. Secret Agent Mack will make his in ring debut and some other random stuff will happen.

[Guest The Superstar]

Damn, I *knew* Mae Young was somehow related to the McMahons!!

 

And you should have Alex Wright/Berlyn come in to team with the Harsh German Giant.

[Guest madmatt2002]

Chuck Palumbo was forced into rehab. Inspector Scott Steiner informs me that Jamie Knoble and Doug Basham were pushing the drugs on one of my future talents so I fire them.

 

WWE Smackdown 6/12/03

 

Nathan Jones vs Dust : Dust with a spinning neckbreaker on Main Event. Spear by Dust. Cover for a two count. Main Event pushes out of a Dust hold. Dust takes a weak kick. Weak slam from Main Event. There's a two count on the pin. Side suplex from Main Event. Shades of Dino Bravo there, although even Dino could execute it better than Main Event. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. Dust blocks a kick from Nathan Jones. Dust hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Dust scores with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Flying shoulder tackle by Dust sends Main Event to the mat. Main Event takes a headbutt from Dust. Dust walks into a trip. Nathan Jones strikes Dust. Side suplex from Main Event. Shades of Dino Bravo there, although even Dino could execute it better than Main Event. Dust gets knocked to the ground by Main Event. Here it comes...Main Event Sleeper! Dust taps! Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:66

Crowd Reaction:71

Match Quality:56

 

Notes:Dust lost overness from this match. Nathan Jones gained overness from this match.

 

(Dust is of course Goldust because he lost the rights to Gold on Raw. What a moveset by the Main Event Nathan Jones. Not one BUT TWO Side Suplexes. Dust shows his toughness by kicking out. Dust looks to be putting on some weight like he is being groomed to wear polkadots because Dusty Rhodes wouldn't come over from TNA or something)

 

Kidman is sitting on the back eating some donuts when a cloud of ninja smoke appears and Funaki lays him out with knumchucks. Funaki then yells:"Ninja Vanish" and he dissapears in a cloud of white smoke.

 

46

 

Nathan Jones vs A-Train : Incredibly weak headbutt on A-Train by Main Event. Nathan Jones gets taken down out of nowhere. Main Event hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. A-Train whips Main Event into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. A-Train scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's no one to count for A-Train. A-Train misses a clothesline. Punch by Main Event, missing A-Train by a good six inches. Messed up bodyslam by Main Event. Cover for a two count. Sloppy tornado punch from Nathan Jones, A-Train barely got hit. Pin, but A-Train is out just before the three count. A-Train takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. A-Train hits a stump piledriver on Nathan Jones, although it was quite weak in its execution. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Nathan Jones pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. A-Train gets knocked to the ground by Main Event. Main Event Sleeper!!! A-Train taps out! I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:57

Crowd Reaction:64

Match Quality:43

 

[i am serious about getting Nathan Jones over as the next big thing. I sacrificed up and coming superstar A-Train to keep his undefeated streak going]

 

Vince is on the cell phone talking to someone. Roddy Piper comes in and reminds him that he was feuding with Mr. America before the new writers came in. Vince McMahon says Sean O' Haire can face Mr. America in a Last Man Standing Match. If O' Haire wins, Mr. America has to unmask right in that very ring. If Mr Amerihogan wins, Piper has to do his bi-yearly retirement thing.

 

100

 

[Damn my writers tell me that Vince McMahon is my most over star and he should be the focus of the show. I can see why I would want to limit his exposure. Wouldn't want high rated segments now, would I]

 

Inspector Scott Steiner's investigation of...what we he investigating again...oh yeah who was stalking Triple H, continues. His next suspect is Count Cena. Cena said he has a perfect explaination why it wasn't him. The sun hadn't gone down yet when it happened. Steiner buys this and we move onto the next suspect.

 

73

 

Goldberg vs Stamboli \ Nunzio : Standing leg lariat by Nunzio on Goldberg. Big clothesline on Goldberg. Johnny Stamboli scoops up Goldberg. Nunzio bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Power drive elbow by Nunzio. Pin, but Goldberg is out just before the three count. Nunzio \ Stamboli hook up Goldberg, then hit a double suplex. Goldberg walks into a trip. Goldberg hits a stump piledriver on Johnny Stamboli, although it was quite weak in its execution. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Nunzio blocks a kick from Goldberg. Spin kick by Nunzio to the face. Nunzio \ Stamboli whip Goldberg into the corner. Nunzio whips Johnny Stamboli in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Goldberg counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Side suplex from Goldberg. Nunzio is in trouble. Here it comes - Jackhammer. 1....2...3, it's finished. I'll give it a **1\2 rating.

 

Overall:71

Crowd Reaction:72

Match Quality:69

 

[Goldberg squashes the two FBI members that will not be getting a push. Goldberg is undefeated in the WWE. and there is another wrestler who is undefeated in the WWE. Put both together and you may have a possible match for Bad Blood]

 

Secret Agent Mack vs Spike Dudley : Secret Agent Mack with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Spike. Secret Agent Mack hits a sloppy double axe handle. There's a two count on the pin. Spike reverses a waistlock. Spike Dudley strikes Secret Agent Mack. Spike slams Secret Agent Mack down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Spike on Mack. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Secret Agent Mack takes a right hand to the temple from Spike. Spike Dudley misses a clothesline. Weak bodyslam by Mack. There's a two count on the pin. Side suplex from Mack. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Spike gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Mack strikes away at Spike Dudley. Spike Dudley reverses a hip toss. Mack takes a vertical suplex. Spike Dudley scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Secret Agent Mack can barely stand. Here it comes - Choke Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:52

Crowd Reaction:49

Match Quality:55

 

[spike Dudley squashed Secret Agent Mack in his debut. I have to keep Spike-Berg's monster push up for that three way match that will happen soon with Nathan Jones and Goldberg]

 

Cena \ Al Wilson vs Spanky \ Tajiri (For The WWE Tag Team Titles) : Flying elbow from Tajiri. Al Wilson pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Rude Awakening on Tajiri by Al Wilson. Al Wilson tags out to Count Cena. Big clothesline on Tajiri. Cena hits a dropkick on Tajiri. Count Cena misses a clothesline. Driven DDT by Tajiri. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Tag to Spanky. Stiff high kick on Cena by Spanky who has evidently been watching some old AJPW tapes recently. Second rope flying axe handle, Cena goes down. Spanky drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Count Cena with a spinning neckbreaker on Spanky. Cena tags out to Al Wilson. Chin crusher by Al Wilson, the execution wasn't great though. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Al Wilson with a spinning neckbreaker on Spanky. Spanky can barely stand. Here it comes - Viagra Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

 

Overall:71

Crowd Reaction:64

Match Quality:78

 

[Tajiri and Spanky are now out of the WWE via that loss to Al Wilson and Count Cena. Wilson and Cena vs La Resitance at the PPV to unify the tag team titles]

 

Mr. America vs Sean O'Haire : Sean O'Haire smashes a Playstation console over the head of Mr America. Mr America walks into a spike slam. Mr. America comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Mr. America hits some weak-looking punches. Weak slam from Mr America. The referee gets to a five count....and Sean O'Haire gets back up. Frying pan shot by Mr America. Mr. America punches away at Sean O'Haire. Mr America walks into a trip. Massive backbreaker, Mr America got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. The referee counts: 2....3...4....but Mr America stands up. Powerbomb on Mr America. The referee gets to a seven count....and Mr. America gets back up. Back elbow connects, Mr America staggers backward. Sean O'Haire drives a table into Mr America. Mr America counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Incredibly weak powerslam on O'Haire by Mr America. Mr America DDTs Sean O'Haire. Mr. America has Sean O'Haire down on the canvas. Legdrop Of Doom!!! The referee counts to 10, this match is over! Almost wandered into *** match territory, but there was too much that dragged it down so it only gets a **3\4 rating.

 

Overall:73

Crowd Reaction:84

Match Quality:50

 

[Mr. America beats Sean O' Haire to retire Roddy Piper(for six months). But who is this masked man. Will we ever find out]

 

Lance Storm comes out in bib overalls with a jug. He dances around. Gimmick=Hillbilly for this next match.

10 Man Battle Royal (For The WWE World Title) : Steve McMichael hits a weak punch on Rob Van Dam. Rob Van Dam was eliminated by McMichael. (Elimination # 1) Billy Kidman takes a right hand to the temple from Jazz. Billy Kidman got bundled out by Jazz. (Elimination # 2) Funaki takes a vertical suplex. Jazz threw Funaki over the top rope. (Elimination # 3) McMichael receives some unexciting punishment. HHH tried to get Steve McMichael over the top rope, but Gravity made the save. Weak headbutt on Nash by HHH. Triple H scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Lame kick from Jazz. Lance Storm got bundled out by Jazz. (Elimination # 4) Super kick by Chris Jericho. Jericho went for the elimination, but Steve McMichael held on to the ropes. Steve McMichael punches away at Jazz. Jazz got bundled out by McMichael. (Elimination # 5) McMichael hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. Kevin Nash hits a right hand on Steve McMichael. Kevin Nash DDTs McMichael, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Nash tried to get Steve McMichael over the top rope, but Gravity made the save. Incredibly weak headbutt on Nash by McMichael. Kevin Nash got thrown over the top rope by McMichael. (Elimination # 6) Steve McMichael walks into a chop to the pecs. Nidia tried to get Steve McMichael over the top rope, but Gravity made the save. McMichael hits a stump piledriver on Triple H. McMichael went for the elimination, but Triple H held on to the ropes. Second rope flying axe handle, Nidia goes down. Nidia was eliminated by Jericho. (Elimination # 7) HHH takes a flying neckbreaker from Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho strikes HHH. Lame kick from HHH. Chris Jericho got bundled out by HHH. (Elimination # 8) McMichael hits a stump piledriver on Triple H. Flapjack from McMichael on HHH. HHH counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Steve McMichael got thrown over the top rope by HHH. I don't rate battle royals.

 

Overall:52

Crowd Reaction:51

Match Quality:54

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one. This match suffered because the crowd were still pumped up from the last one, and so this bout was seen as something of a let-down to them. The WWE World title has lost image.

 

[i just threw a bunch of random guys in the match for Triple H to go over. Mongo wrestled but still commentated. He wore his headset in the ring and nearly won the WWE World Title. World Champion Steve McMichael. Anything can almost happen in the WWE]

 

Vince McMahon swaggers out. He says that Mae Young's claims are being a Mcmahon are false. She has no proof. She just concocted a story. Mae Young isn't here tonight so Vince McMahon offers Mae Young to bring PROOF on Raw that she is a member of the McMahon family. Then and only then will Vince consider putting control of the WWE on the line in a Ladder Match at Bad Blood.

 

71

 

Notes:Vince McMahon lost overness from this segment. Mae Young-McMahon gained overness from this segment.

 

Overall:59

 

On Velocity. Some stuff happens. Some more stuff happens. Lance Storm changes gimmicks again. Tune in.

[Guest The Superstar]

That show needed more "Main Event" Nathan Jones.

[Guest madmatt2002]

I fire most of my developemental workers and sell my training camp and developemental territory. Also Hardcore Holly, Victoria, Molly Holly, Trish Stratus and Rico were victims of the chopping block. Ernest Miller also goes.

 

and to capitilze on the demand for Nathan Jones, Heat is now the Nathan Jones Show. All Nathan Jones. All the time.

 

 

WWE Velocity 6/14/03

Inspecter Scott Steiner is continueing his investigation. He bumps into Steve McMichael backstage. Steiner asks if Mongo is stalking Steiner. Mongo rambles on and doesn't really say so Steiner gets pissed for Mongo avoiding the question. The Inspector goes into roid rage and challenge Mongo to an I-Quit Match tonight. Mongo rambles on but we don't know if he accepts or not.

 

57

 

Notes:Inspector Scott Steiner lost overness from this segment. Steve McMichael gained overness from this segment.

 

A.P.A. vs La Resistance (For The WWE Smackdown! Tag Team Titles) : Big backdrop on Faarooq, executed well. Dupree only gets knees on a splash. Running clothesline from Faarooq, sloppily done. Tag to Bradshaw. Bradshaw strikes Rene Dupree. Dupree takes a vertical suplex. Dupree drops out the back of a Bradshaw bodyslam attempt. Flying shoulder tackle by Dupree sends Bradshaw to the mat. Dupree tags out to Sylvan Grenier. Bradshaw receives some unexciting punishment. Sylvan Grenier with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Bradshaw. Bradshaw pushes out of a Sylvan Grenier hold. Bradshaw strikes Sylvan Grenier. Tag to Faarooq. Flapjack from Faarooq on Grenier. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Sylvan Grenier takes a right hand to the temple from Faarooq. A.P.A. have Sylvan Grenier to themselves. Spike Powerbomb! 1....2....3! It's over. ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:66

Crowd Reaction:66

Match Quality:67

 

(We have NEW Smackdown Tag Team Champions. The returning APA. So now it will be APA vs Erected Vampires(Count Cena and Al Wilson) to unify the Tag Team Belts at the PPV)

 

Triple H is walking around backstage, minding his own business but suddenly a dozen cinderblocks are dumped on him. We see a masked man running away. Triple H gets up two seconds later despite getting a dozen cinderblocks smashed on his head. Triple H is the toughest man in the whole WWE folks.

 

80

 

Dawn Marie vs Nidia (For The WWE Jobberweight Title) : Back heel kick from Dawn on Nidia, missed by miles. Nidia blocks a punch. Dawn Marie walks into a chop to the pecs. Nidia snap suplexes Dawn...with authority! ('With authority', trademark G.Monsoon 1986.) Dawn tastes a high angle back suplex. It probably tasted like chicken. Dawn Marie powers out of a Nidia headlock. Back heel kick from Dawn on Nidia. Flying knee to the face from Dawn Marie. Nidia gets hip tossed by Dawn. Nidia takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Amateur-style takedown from Nidia, capitalising on that *huge* demand for amateur wrestling that we see every day. Diving headbutt from Nidia, not much elevation. Dawn Marie gets knocked to the ground by Nidia, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Top Rope Legdrop hit hard. Nidia strips Dawn down to her underwear for the victory! Bland match, but i'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:51

Crowd Reaction:63

Match Quality:24

 

(Are you psyched for that HUGE Tough Enough all star match match to unify the Woman's and Jobberweight Titles at Bad Blood between Jackie Gayda and Nidia. This will be the sleeper match of the night folks. Also the first time the Cruiser/Jobberweight Title was defended in a Bra and Panties Match)

 

We see Billy Kidman eating a sandwhich backstage.

 

33

 

Notes:Billy Kidman lost overness from this segment.

 

Steve McMichael vs Inspector Scott Steiner : Incredibly weak headbutt on McMichael by Steiner. Incredibly weak powerslam on McMichael by Steiner. Punch by Steiner, missing McMichael by a good six inches. Steve McMichael fights out of a grapple. Steve McMichael hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Steiner counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Powerslam from Inspector Scott Steiner on McMichael. Flapjack from Steiner on McMichael. McMichael backdrops Inspector Scott Steiner out of a piledriver attempt. Steve McMichael punches away at Inspector Scott Steiner. Inspector Scott Steiner takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. McMichael takes a weak clothesline. Steiner floors Steve McMichael. There is the Elementry...My Dear! The referee asks McMichael....and we have a submission! The match is over. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:54

Crowd Reaction:58

Match Quality:47

 

(Elementry...My Dear is the new name for the Steiner Recliner. Steiner goes to ask Mongo if he is stalking Triple H but we are OUT OF TIME folks. See you on the Nathan Jones Show)

 

Overall:42

 

La Resitance is NO more. They are fired.

[Guest madmatt2002]

The Nathan Jones Show 6/15/03

 

Nathan Jones vs Ultimo Dragon : They start brawling in the aisle. Nathan Jones uses a headbutt on the outside. Dropkick connects, Main Event falls to the concrete floor. Right hand from Main Event. Ultimo snapmares Nathan Jones. Both wrestlers make their way up the scaffold! They start brawling high above the ring...until Main Event hits a crunching headbutt...and Ultimo Dragon falls, crashing through three tables! We have a winner! Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:64

Crowd Reaction:83

Match Quality:47

 

Notes:Ultimo Dragon debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Ultimo Dragon gained overness from this match. Nathan Jones gained overness from this match. Ultimo Dragon has sustained an injury as a result of a bad bump!

 

(Nathan Jones ended the career of that evil foreigner The Ultimate Dragon. Speaking of Ultimate, maybe there could be a certain Warrior I can hire. Don't worry if this fed goes under by the way. Because I have a lovely project to take its place if it does.)

 

A limited time offer. The brand new Nathan Jones t-shirt. For the LOW, LOW price of 49.95. Order now because we are in debt. Call now and receive a free Nathan Jones hat and watch. Supplies are limited, order now.

 

64

 

Nathan Jones vs Team Angle : Nathan Jones strikes Charlie Haas. Punch by Main Event, missing Shelton by a good six inches. Nathan Jones DDTs Shelton, poorly executed. Cover for a two count. Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. Haas drops out the back of a Nathan Jones bodyslam attempt. Team Angle hook up Main Event, then hit a double suplex. Main Event tastes a high angle back suplex. It probably tasted like chicken. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Main Event is down. Shelton Benjamin scoops up Main Event. Haas bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Charlie Haas brings out a jumping powerbomb to nearly kill Main Event. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Some weak shots by Main Event. Main Event tastes a high angle back suplex. It probably tasted like chicken. Shelton Benjamin scoops up Main Event. Haas bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Cover for a two count. Charlie Haas strikes Main Event. Nathan Jones elbows Charlie Haas in the face to break a hammerlock. Main Event drops out the back of a Shelton Benjamin bodyslam attempt. Nathan Jones drops Shelton with a clothesline. Shelton Benjamin gets knocked to the ground by Main Event. Shelton Benjamin gets locked in the Main Event Sleeper! Submission victory! This one gets * rating and likes it.

 

Overall:52

Crowd Reaction:51

Match Quality:65

 

(Nathan Jones continues to break necks and cash checks. So far tonight he has run Ultimo Dragon and Team Angle out of the WWE)

 

Nathan Jones celebrates but out comes the Big Show dressed like Hitler. (He's a harsh german remember). Big Show says that he is too impressed with Nathan Jones and he wants to be the one to end his undefeated streak. Well why not settle it tonight. Big Show says fine and he will put the Interconinental Title on the line as well. Nathan Jones turns and The Big Show attacks. Choke Slam. Big Show drags Jones to the outside and Choke Slam through the table. The table doesn't break so the Big Show sits his fat ass on it and it shatters into tiny bits of sawdust. Nathan Jones may have broken ribs. What kind of condition will he be in. STAY TUNED.

 

74

 

Notes:Nathan Jones gained overness from this segment.

 

The t-shirt commericial from earlier replays.

 

63

 

Wifebeater Steve Austin is refusing to let Nathan Jones wrestle in THAT VERY RING. Nathan Jones offers to do anything. Sign a waiver. Austin refuses. Nathan Jones offers Austin a 12 pack of beer and a Nathan Jones t-shirt. Austin accepts and has Jones sign the waiver.

 

75

 

Notes:Wifebeater Steve Austin lost overness from this segment. Nathan Jones gained overness from this segment.

 

Nathan Jones vs Big Show (For The WWE Intercontinental Title) : Nathan Jones strikes Big Show. Weak kick from Main Event. Big forearm by Main Event, which was thrown so badly that Misawa is probably doubled-up with laughter somewhere. Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. Show counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Main Event takes a vertical suplex. Big clothesline from Show. Hooks the leg for a two count. Main Event blocks a punch. Nathan Jones hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Sloppy tornado punch from Nathan Jones, Show barely got hit. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Show counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Nathan Jones takes a right hand to the temple from Show. Main Event counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Punch by Main Event, missing Show by a good six inches. Nathan Jones floors Big Show. Main Event Sleeper!!! Big Show goes limp! A-Train quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Nathan Jones turns around....Derailer!!! That shook the ring. The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of A-Train! Big Show and A-Train are beating down on Nathan Jones! The music of Undertaker hits, and he comes running down the aisle into the ring. Show and A-Train bail out of the ring, leaving Nathan Jones down in the ring. Undertaker may have saved Nathan Jones from a brutal beating. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:52

Crowd Reaction:69

Match Quality:35

 

Notes:Nathan Jones gained overness from this match. The WWE Intercontinental title has lost image.

 

(Nathan Jones got SCREWED by A-Train. Thankfully Undertaker made the save setting up a Tag Team Main Event next week)

 

Stephanie McMahon screeches a lot and uses her magical GM powers to make The Big Show vs Nathan Jones in an Ironman Match for the Interconinental Title at Bad Blood.

 

88

 

Overall:58

 

Nathan Jones is still losing overness according to my road agents because I am pushing him too much. BAH. Stupid fans will like what I tell them to like.

 

Bad Blood Card

 

Undisputed Title Match:

Triple H© vs His Mystery Stalker of Mystery.

 

Match to Declare the Undisputed GM of the WWE:

Eric Bischoff vs Stephanie McMahon vs Steve Austin

 

Interconinental Title Ironman Match:

The Big Harsh German Show© vs Nathan Jones

 

Tag Team Title Unification Match:

Erected Vampires vs The APA

 

Jobberweight/Woman's Title Unification Match:

Nidia(Jobber) vs Jackie Gayda(Woman's)

 

I am Canadian and I have more gimmicks then you have hairs match:

Lance Storm vs Mr. America

 

Ladder Match for Control of the WWE(Not confirmed yet but Mae Young will have PROOF on Raw that she is a McMahon)

Mae Young-McMahon vs Vince McMahon.

 

Vanilla Midget Tossing Match:(High Incident Match)

Chris Jericho vs Kevin Nash

 

Card is subjected to change.

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Well, this is the greatest thing ever.

[Guest The Superstar]

Seconded. Greatest diary ever.

[Guest phoenixrising]

Brilliant...Just brilliant...If you're gonna kill a company, why not have some fun along the way. Funny stuff.

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

I think the PPV should have an extended Kidman filler. For an hour.

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Raw 6/16/03

 

We see Triple H walking backstage but he is still being stalked from someone. Triple H looks down a hallway but there is no one there. We see a shadowy figure peeking out from a pile of crates. He has a ski mask and a techcoat on.

 

75

 

Secret Agent Mack vs Tommy Dreamer : Secret Agent Mack hits Dreamer. Dreamer counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Dreamer slams Secret Agent Mack. Mack reverses an irish whip...and Tommy Dreamer runs into the referee. Death valley driver by Tommy Dreamer, Secret Agent Mack got planted. Cover, but there's no one to count for Tommy Dreamer. Mack counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Dreamer gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Weak bodyslam by Mack. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Mack. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Dreamer kicks Secret Agent Mack in the gut to reverse the momentum. Nice piledriver on Mack. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Mack backdrops Tommy Dreamer out of a piledriver attempt. Secret Agent Mack has Tommy Dreamer down on the canvas. Tommy Dreamer gets locked in the Smokescreen! Submission victory! It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:56

Crowd Reaction:55

Match Quality:58

 

Notes:Secret Agent Mack gained overness from this match.

 

(Secret Agent Mack scores a win over the Hardcore Rapper Tommy Dreamer. Both men haven't been seen in a while. Yes in the WWE two weeks is a while. The Smokescreen is where Secret Agent Mack throws smoke bombs at his opponent until he submits. Seriously)

 

Nidia \ McMichael vs Jackie \ Funaki : Chop by Jackie on McMichael. McMichael drops out the back of a Jackie Gayda bodyslam attempt. Steve McMichael hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Tag to Nidia. Right hand from Nidia on Jackie. Right hand from Nidia on Jackie. Nidia walks into a trip. Big forearm by Jackie, which was thrown so badly that Misawa is probably doubled-up with laughter somewhere. Jackie tags out to Funaki. Funaki strikes Nidia. Flying elbow from Funaki. Nidia blocks a kick from Funaki. Nidia flattens Funaki. Tag to Steve McMichael. Steve McMichael drops Funaki with a clothesline. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Steve McMichael punches away at Funaki. Funaki is in trouble. Mongo Spike!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Bland match, but i'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall:54

Crowd Reaction:58

Match Quality:46

 

(I don't know WHY I booked that match. I just did. I also booked Funaki to wrestle twice so look foward to seeing him later)

 

The Stalker gives an interview using the Black Scorpion's voice box. He says that he will reveal himself to all the world on Smackdown. That is your main event for this Thursday. Still to come tonight, Mae Young gives PROOF that she is a McMahon.

 

75

 

Notes:The Stalker debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. (We know the stalker is a HE now. That narrows down the suspects somewhat)

 

Lance Storm confronts Mr. America while wearing a turban, curly toed boots, and his regular wrestling tights. Lance Storm is Arabian tonight. Mr. America asks whats the deal with the spike. Lance Storm reminds them that they are feuding and will have a match at the PPV. So they have to do something to set it up. Lance Storm raises the spike but it is too heavy. He accidentally spikes himself in the forehead and bleeds buckets of blood. Mr. America beats up Lance Storm until sercurity breaks it up.

 

80

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one. Lance Storm gained overness from this segment.

 

(Lance Storm will have more gimmicks then Hogan has hairs. Lance Storm vs Mr. America in 13 days at Bad Blood)

 

Kevin Nash vs Nunzio : Nunzio takes a right hand to the temple from Nash. Nunzio takes a right hand to the temple from Nash. Nunzio takes a right hand to the temple from Nash. Nash slams Nunzio down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Nunzio fights out of a grapple. Nunzio hits a dropkick on Kevin Nash. Lightning kick by Nunzio on Nash. Cover for a two count. Nunzio misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Kevin Nash hits a sloppy double axe handle. Cover for a two count. Flapjack from Nash on Nunzio. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Nunzio ducks a wild right hand. Nunzio hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Kevin Nash takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Running clothesline from Kevin Nash, sloppily done. Nunzio can barely stand. Jacknife Lazybomb! 1....2....3. I'll give it a **1\2 rating.

 

Overall:68

Crowd Reaction:70

Match Quality:65

 

(Nash pulls out the MOVESET in this match. Double Axehandle and Flapjack. Nash came to fight tonight. Kevin Nash vs Chris Jericho in a Vanilla Midget Tossing Match(or High Incident Match if you perfer) at Bad Blood)

 

Inspector Scott Steiner continues his investigation. His next subject is Nathan Jones(who isn't wrestling tonight because he is banged up from that CLASSIC with the Big Show last night). Nathan Jones says it wasn't him. Why says the Inspector. Because there is the Stalker right over there. The Stalker runs away and Steiner tries to follow in pursuit. The Stalker is too fast for Steiner. Hmm we have another clue. The Stalker is a fast runner if he can outrun Scott Steiner.

 

69

 

Notes:Nathan Jones gained overness from this segment.

 

Funaki vs Lance Storm : Flying elbow from Lance Storm. Super frankensteiner on Funaki, who hit hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Funaki avoids a Lance Storm avalanche. Storm walks into a high dropkick from Funaki. Funaki hits a rolling kick on Storm. Cover for a two count. Vicious kick to the teeth from Funaki. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Driven DDT by Funaki. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Lance Storm fights out of a grapple. Lightning kick by Storm on Funaki. Hooks the leg for a two count. Springboard dropkick from Lance Storm. Nicely done. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Dropkick connects, Funaki goes down. Funaki kicks Lance Storm in the gut to reverse the momentum. Funaki hits a dropkick on Lance Storm. Springboard dropkick from Funaki. Nicely done. Mr. America comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Storm turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Mr America! Mr. America has left Storm in big trouble. Lance Storm is in trouble. Karate Kick! 1....2....3. Mr. America has a chair. Lance Storm stands up...and gets floored by a shot to the head. Another two shots smack down across his back, leaving him unmoving on the canvas. Mr America sets the chair up, then picks up Lance Storm. He gets whipped into the ropes...and then drop toe holded, sending him face first into the chair! Mr. America has left Storm down and bloodied in the ring after a brutal assault! ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:66

Crowd Reaction:46

Match Quality:86

 

(Funaki WINS. Funaki WINS. Well he wouldn't have done it without the help of Mr. America. These guys will be punished for putting on a good match)

 

Billy Kidman is shown backstage ordering a pizza for after the show.

 

36

 

Notes:Billy Kidman lost overness from this segment.

 

Al Wilson\Cena\Jericho vs Undertaker\Bradshaw\Faarooq : Chris Jericho scores with a back heel kick on Bradshaw. Jericho uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Jericho tags out to Al Wilson. Al Wilson hits an arm drag on Bradshaw. Al Wilson hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Al Wilson tags out to Count Cena. Al Wilson scoops up Bradshaw. Cena bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Big clothesline on Bradshaw. Count Cena misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Running clothesline from Bradshaw, sloppily done. Tag between Bradshaw and Undertaker. Undertaker hits a right hand on Count Cena. Undertaker DDTs Count Cena. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Undertaker hits a right hand on Count Cena. Tag between Undertaker and Faarooq. Faarooq hits Cena. Big kick from Faarooq. Faarooq drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Cena tags out to Chris Jericho. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Tag between Faarooq and Bradshaw. Weak headbutt on Jericho by Bradshaw. Bradshaw hits a sloppy double axe handle. Chris Jericho can barely stand. Here it comes - Clothesline From Hell. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

 

Overall:71

Crowd Reaction:72

Match Quality:69

 

(Okay Jericho gets pinned by Bradshaw. Chris Jericho will be part of the Vanilla Midget tossing match at the PPV and Erected Vampires will face the APA at the PPV. Undertaker will probally squash someone at the PPV because I have one more spot left)

 

Mae Young came out with a piece of paper. Its the results of a DNA test. Mae Young says that she has McMahon DNA in her body and she says that here is Vince's proof. Vince comes out and says fine. Mae Young offered her proof. So we can make the match for Bad Blood offical. The contract signing will be next week on Raw(because we already have a Main Event for Smackdown. The revealing of the Stalker)

 

73

 

Notes:Vince McMahon lost overness from this segment. Mae Young-McMahon gained overness from this segment.

 

Overall:60

[Guest The Superstar]

Beautiful. This stalker angle has me AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT~!!!

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Question: When Billy Kidman picks his nose and all that other entertaining stuff, what is that in the EWR game itself? An interview with no purpose?

[Guest madmatt2002]

Question: When Billy Kidman picks his nose and all that other entertaining stuff, what is that in the EWR game itself? An interview with no purpose?

I do a Walking angle.

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Ah. Very good.