WWE Comedy

[Guest La Marka]

I fear the lack of Nathan Jones on the last show will hurt the ratings.

 

Maybe a night of Nathan Jones Iron Man matches will solve this.

[Guest phoenixrising]

I demand more Lance Storm gimmicks.

 

I thought of a new catchphrase for Inspector Scott Steiner..."Holla...if you have the DNA results".

 

Kidman is displaying as much charisma drinking a soda as he actually does in real life.

 

Is Undertaker re-gimmicked?

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Smackdown 6/19/03

 

Shannon Moore vs Mark Henry : Weak kick from Henry. Moore kicks Mark Henry in the gut to reverse the momentum. Kick from Shannon Moore to the leg. Mark Henry charges, Moore moves, and the referee is conveniently placed to get knocked out. Back heel kick off the second rope, Henry goes down. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Henry blocks a kick from Shannon Moore. Mark Henry strikes Shannon Moore. Big clothesline from Henry. 'Big' because it missed by a big margin. There's a two count on the pin. Sloppy tornado punch from Mark Henry, Moore barely got hit. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Shannon Moore powers out of a Mark Henry headlock. Henry takes a hurrancarana from Shannon Moore. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Henry ducks a wild right hand. Shannon Moore is in trouble. Press Slam! 1....2....3. Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:57

Crowd Reaction:52

Match Quality:63

 

Notes:Mark Henry gained overness from this match.

 

(Mark Henry returns with a win. Tonight Triple H's stalker will be revealed. )

 

Al Wilson vs Faarooq : Faarooq gets slammed. Al Wilson with a spinning neckbreaker on Faarooq. Hooks the leg for a two count. Al Wilson misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Running clothesline from Faarooq, sloppily done. Hooks the leg for a two count. Faarooq DDTs Al Wilson, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. There's a two count on the pin. Al Wilson fights out of a grapple. Al Wilson uses a running dropkick into the corner. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Faarooq kicks Al Wilson in the gut to reverse the momentum. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Faarooq turns Al Wilson inside-out with a clothesline. Cover, but there's no one to count for Faarooq. Faarooq hits a stump piledriver on Al Wilson, although it was quite weak in its execution. Pin, but Al Wilson is out just before the three count. Al Wilson ducks a clothesline attempt. The two competitors end up in the corner, grappling. The referee tries to break them up, but Al Wilson pushes him away. The ref tries again, and this time Faarooq is the one to shove the referee away...and that prompts a double DQ decision from the referee! The fight has started up again! Al Wilson attacks Faarooq, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting. I'm going to give this a ** rating because i'm in a generous mood.

 

Overall:62

Crowd Reaction:56

Match Quality:68

 

(I couldn't have either lose because I want to keep Al Wilson pretty strong and the APA are not job boys in this fed. Don't forget still to come tonight the Stalker of Triple H gets revealed)

 

Inspector Scott Steiner is laying backstage beside a broken two by four. He has quite the lump on his head. Maybe he found out something and got knocked out to prevent ratting out the stalker. Still to come tonight:The Stalker of Triple H gets revealed. Do not touch that dial.

 

69(hmm that is the SECOND Steiner segment in a row to get a 69)

 

 

Nidia and Jackie Gayda have a CATFIGHT for no real reason. Oh yeah they have a match at the PPV but you expect the average WWE fan to remember that. Still to come...Triple H's stalker gets revealed. Stay with us on Smackdown.

 

66

 

Notes:Jackie Gayda gained overness from this segment.

 

Matt Hardy vs Steve McMichael : Steve McMichael hits a weak punch on Matt Hardy. Mattitude drops out the back of a Steve McMichael bodyslam attempt. Dropkick connects, McMichael goes down. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Tornado DDT from Matt Hardy, McMichael got planted. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Mattitude drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Uninspiring brawling from Steve McMichael. Powerslam from Steve McMichael on Mattitude. Hooks the leg for a two count. Steve McMichael drops Mattitude with a clothesline. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. McMichael walks into a trip. Mattitude crushes McMichael with a big legdrop. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Mattitude drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Steve McMichael moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Mongo Spike. 1....2...3, it's finished. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:59

Crowd Reaction:60

Match Quality:59

 

Notes:Matt Hardy lost overness from this match. Steve McMichael gained overness from this match.

 

(Damn that Matt Hardy for dragging Mongo down to his low level. I can't fire Hardy yet. Ya know why. He hasn't done a job to Nathan Jones yet thats right. Still to Come..The Stalker of the Game is revealed)

 

Vince McMahon says he is going to DESTROY Mae Young at the PPV. DESTROY HER. DESTROY. Vince McMahon will prove that he is the only show in town and please by a Nathan Jones t-shirt so we can remove some of that debt. Still to come...The Stalker of Triple H is revealed.

 

92

 

Main Event \ Nash vs Jericho \ Show : Kevin Nash strikes Big Show. Nash hits a stump piledriver on Big Show, although it was quite weak in its execution. Tag to Nathan Jones. Show takes a weak clothesline. Cover for a two count. Nathan Jones scores with a weakly-hit standing spinebuster. Main Event tags out to Kevin Nash. Main Event \ Nash hook up Show, then hit a double suplex. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Show counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Show tags out to Chris Jericho. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Super frankensteiner on Nash, who hit hard. Jericho tags out to Big Show. Jericho \ Show whip Nash into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Big kick from Show. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle. Tag between Big Show and Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho hits a rolling kick on Nash. Jericho only gets knees on a splash. Tag to Nathan Jones. Main Event hits a stump piledriver on Chris Jericho. Nathan Jones has Chris Jericho down on the canvas. Main Event Sleeper!!! Chris Jericho taps out! Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:66

Crowd Reaction:73

Match Quality:52

 

Notes:Chris Jericho lost overness from this match. Kevin Nash gained overness from this match. Nathan Jones gained overness from this match.

 

(Two of the matches for the PPV wrapped together in a small package. Nathan Jones gets the pin of course. Tune into the Nathan Jones Hour this Sunday for 8 Segments of Nathan Jones goodness. Jericho gets pinned but he didn't complain this time. I think I broke his will. Still to come...The Stalker of Triple H gets revealed)

 

Billy Kidman and The Hurricane are playing Poker Backstage. Still to come...The Stalker of Triple H gets revealed.

 

47

 

Notes:Hurricane lost overness from this segment.

 

Count Cena vs Bradshaw : Uninspiring brawling from Bradshaw. Cena receives some unexciting punishment. Weak bodyslam on Cena by Bradshaw. Bradshaw with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Cena. Bradshaw misses a clothesline. Flying shoulder tackle by Cena sends Bradshaw to the mat. Big piledriver on Bradshaw. Cover for a two count. Bradshaw drops out the back of a Count Cena bodyslam attempt. Bradshaw DDTs Cena, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Cover for a two count. Bradshaw scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Bradshaw misses a clothesline. Count Cena fires off some right and left hands. Bradshaw ducks a clothesline attempt. Bradshaw strikes Count Cena. Count Cena can barely stand. Fallaway Slam! 1....2....3. Almost a *** rating, but there were some bits that dragged, so **3\4 instead.

 

Overall:73

Crowd Reaction:74

Match Quality:73

 

Notes:Count Cena lost overness from this match. Bradshaw gained overness from this match.

 

(Count Cena lost because he is the weakest link of Erected Vampires. Bradshaw hit a fallaway slam for the pin. No Clothesline from Hell. Still to Come...The Stalker of Triple H is revealed. Don't go away)

 

Lance Storm comes out in a kilt playing bagpipes. He is a bravehart tonight.

 

Lance Storm vs Undertaker : Storm hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. Storm gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Undertaker hits a stump piledriver on Lance Storm, although it was quite weak in its execution. Flapjack from Undertaker on Storm. Lance Storm is in trouble. Here it comes - Choke Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:67

Crowd Reaction:59

Match Quality:76

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one.

 

(I don't have anything to add to this one. Undertaker wins. Coming up NEXT...The Stalker will be revealed. Stick with us on Smackdown)

 

The Stalker comes out. He gives a big speech and is about to reveal himself but Triple H runs out. Triple H attacks the Stalker. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE. Triple H now yanks on the ski mask and HOLY SHIT. ITS DAVID ARQUETTE~! Triple H is shocked. The greatest WCW World Champion of all time was stalking the Game.

DAVID ARQUETTE~~~~~~! vs Triple H for the Gold at Bad Blood

 

78

 

Notes:David Arquette gained overness from this segment.

 

Overall:60

[Guest The Superstar]

DAVID ARQUETTE~!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Best. Payoff. Ever.

[Guest madmatt2002]

Okay I'm back. Proving my great finicial knowledge despite being deep in debt, I hire Stevie Ray to a 300,000 per month contract with creative control. Stevie Ray will host his own segment on Velocity:Suckas gots to know. I fired Scotty Too Hotty, Steven Richards, and Zack Gowen.

 

WWE Velocity 6/21/03

 

Billy Gunn vs Hurricane : Uninspiring brawling from Billy Gunn. Hurricane takes a right hand to the temple from Billy. Billy slams Hurricane down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Billy Gunn strikes Hurricane. Hurricane reverses a waistlock. Hurricane hits a rolling kick on Billy. Billy takes a hurrancarana from Hurricane. Cover for a two count. Billy Gunn comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Billy Gunn hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Billy DDTs Hurricane. Pin, but Hurricane is out just before the three count. Hurricane counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Hurricane hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. Billy drops out the back of a Hurricane bodyslam attempt. Big kick from Billy. Billy Gunn moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Fame-Ass-Er. 1....2...3, it's finished. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:64

Crowd Reaction:54

Match Quality:75

 

Notes:Hurricane lost overness from this match. Billy Gunn gained overness from this match.

 

(Billy Gunn is back. Thats all I have to say about this match since this is a time filling show)

 

Triple H is the first guest on Sucka's Gots to Know with host Stevie Ray. Stevie Ray asks how Triple H felt after he found out that David Arquette was stalking him. Triple H says whatever because he plans on burying that up and coming star David Arquette because he is God. David Arquette sneaks from behind Triple H and throws powder in his eyes. David Arquette grabs the Undisputed Title belt and runs to the back. Triple H wipes the powder out of his eyes poses, spits water, and Pedigrees Stevie Ray to pin him just for the heck of it.

 

68

 

Big Show vs Dust : Lame kick from Show. Dust receives some unexciting punishment. Weak bodyslam on Dust by Show. Dust takes a vertical suplex. Dust pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Dust slams Big Show down. Nice piledriver on Show. There's a two count on the pin. Show drops out the back of a Dust bodyslam attempt. Powerslam from Big Show on Dust. Cover for a two count. Sloppy tornado punch from Big Show, Dust barely got hit. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Dust blocks a kick from Big Show. Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, Dust uses a forearm to the face. Show reverses a Dust hammerlock. Big Show hits a right hand on Dust. Dust can barely stand. Show Stopper! 1....2....3. Almost wandered into *** match territory, but there was too much that dragged it down so it only gets a **3\4 rating.

 

Overall:72

Crowd Reaction:76

Match Quality:63

 

Notes:Dust lost overness from this match. Big Show gained overness from this match.

 

(Big Show carries Dust to a nearly *** match. Big Show rules it and will defend his Interconinental Title in Eight Days at Bad Blood against Nathan Jones)

 

Billy Kidman, Rob Van Dam, Chris Kanyon, and Kane are backstage playing Twister.

 

33

 

Notes:Billy Kidman lost overness from this segment.

 

Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Ric Flair : Rowdy Roddy Piper holds Flair near the flames. Piper hits a stump piledriver on Ric Flair. Flair pushes out of a Rowdy Roddy Piper hold. Flair drives a forearm into the chest of Piper. Rowdy Roddy Piper takes a butterfly suplex from Flair. Ric Flair throws Piper toward the flames, but Rowdy Roddy Piper is able to put the brakes on in time. Vertical suplex by Ric Flair. Ric Flair misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Messed up bodyslam by Piper. Piper DDTs Ric Flair. Uninspiring brawling from Rowdy Roddy Piper. Rowdy Roddy Piper throws Flair toward the flames, but Ric Flair is able to put the brakes on in time. Ric Flair ducks a clothesline attempt. Ric Flair snap suplexes Piper...with authority! ('With authority', trademark G.Monsoon 1986.) Front legsweep slam by Ric Flair, hit with precision. Ric Flair floors Rowdy Roddy Piper. Rowdy Roddy Piper gets locked in the Figure Four Leglock! Submission victory! Almost a *** rating, but there were some bits that dragged, so **3\4 instead.

 

Overall:75

Crowd Reaction:86

Match Quality:50

 

(This match happened for no real reason. Inferno Match MY foot. I wanted to see fried geezers. Piper has came out of retirement for about the 400th time)

 

David Arquette is talking to someone in the shadows of the arena. David Arquette has the Undisputed Title Belt and laughs about the plan coming together. Arquette then drops a bombshell, he wasn't the mastermind behind the stalking of Triple H. There is a Great Power behind it. Who will it be? Maybe we will find out on Raw but tommorow night is the Nathan Jones show.

 

76

 

Notes:David Arquette gained overness from this segment.

 

Overall:52

[Guest phoenixrising]

YES! MORE NATHAN JONES!

 

And the part with the wrestlers playing Twister for no reason was funny.

 

Brilliant move in bringing back Stevie Ray. Now Booker T can be his sidekick, assuming he hasn't been fired already.

[Guest Random Hero]

This is damn funny stuff and also this is the ideal climate to use my 'Bull Buchanan as Mitch Buchanan gimmick' from No Holds Barred.

[Guest CanadianChick]

I thought RVD was fired? He's backstage cancer! Fire him!

[Guest madmatt2002]

The PI is falling. I go to the great minds of the wrestling universe to get advice. The best advice comes from Vince Russo. Sex sell. Also several member of the XPW booking staff tells me to BE XTREME. So with that in mind Nathan Jones will be in a couple of Xtreme Matches on his shows and I will find some sluts for a BUCK NAKED MATCH on Raw.

 

Nathan Jones Show

 

Nathan Jones vs Matt Hardy : Mattitude takes a weak kick. Nathan Jones smashes a Playstation console over the head of Mattitude. Nathan Jones punches away at Matt Hardy. Main Event hits Mattitude with a plastic dinosaur. Nathan Jones punches away at Matt Hardy. Face slam on the table by Mattitude. Mattitude crushes Main Event with a running senton. Powerslam from Nathan Jones on Mattitude. Nathan Jones drops Mattitude with a clothesline. Mattitude hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Matt Hardy dropkicks Main Event after leaping off an upturned shopping cart. Punch by Main Event, missing Mattitude by a good six inches. Frying pan shot by Main Event. Main Event has a barbed wire covered chair, which gets placed in the center of the ring. Mattitude staggers over, and takes the Main Event Spinebuster onto the chair! Cover gets three. Nathan Jones pinned Mattitude. I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:60

Crowd Reaction:65

Match Quality:49

 

Notes:Matt Hardy was sluggish and didn't put much effort in. Nathan Jones gained overness from this match. Matt Hardy has sustained an injury as a result of a bad bump!

 

(Okay I switched DDT to Main Event Spinebuster. Now while I don't want to criticize Nathan Jones so I will put the blame on Matt Hardy being a pussy. DEATH MATCH MY ASS. Where are the Porn Stars wrapped in barbed wire. Where is the exploding cookie sheets. Where are the light bulbs. One barbed wire covered chair. Plastic Dinosaur???]

 

Nathan Jones T-Shirt, Hat, and Watch offer is shown. Order now and receive a free Best of Nathan Jones DVD Vol 1.-The Legend Begins.

 

54

 

Billy Kidman and Nathan Jones are playing battleship backstage. Nice to see Billy Kidman finally put over an up and coming star.

 

50

 

Nathan Jones vs Rob Van Dam : RVD takes a weak kick. Nathan Jones throws RVD into the barbed wire! Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. RVD backdrops Nathan Jones out of a piledriver attempt. Rob Van Dam throws Main Event into the barbed wire! Springboard reverse elbow by Rob Van Dam. Excellent move. Nathan Jones ducks a clothesline attempt. Nathan Jones DDTs RVD, poorly executed. Sloppy tornado punch from Nathan Jones, RVD barely got hit. Rob Van Dam ducks a clothesline attempt. Rob Van Dam strikes Main Event. Main Event blocks a punch. Weak slam from Main Event. Nathan Jones throws RVD into the barbed wire...and that entire side collapses, wrapping RVD up in the flesh-ripping wire!! Main Event quickly makes the cover and gets the three count over a bloody opponent. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:62

Crowd Reaction:66

Match Quality:53

 

Notes:Nathan Jones gained overness from this match. Rob Van Dam has sustained an injury as a result of a bad bump!

 

(I am SO sad that Rob Van Dam got injured. I will have to Bischoff his ass I'm afraid. Maybe I should bring back the Hardcore Title and award it to Nathan Jones just for the heck of it. After all Triple H started one of the Greatest World Title reigns ever after he was just handed a belt.)

 

Nathan Jones gives an interview for his match against Big Show at Bad Blood. Nathan Jones is going to kick the Big Show's BUTT in those exact words.

 

54

 

The offer is replayed. You KNOW what offer.

 

55

 

Main Event \ Undertaker vs Big Show and A-Train : Weak bodyslam on Undertaker by A-Train. Weak bodyslam by A-Train. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Big Show. Big Show and A-Train whip Undertaker into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Undertaker takes a vertical suplex. Cover for a two count. Weak headbutt on Undertaker by Show. Undertaker avoids a Big Show avalanche. Undertaker turns Show inside-out with a clothesline. Tag between Undertaker and Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones punches away at Big Show. Nathan Jones hits a bulldog off the ropes. Show powers out of a headlock. Tag to A-Train. Big clothesline from A-Train. Side suplex from A-Train. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Main Event receives some unexciting punishment. Nathan Jones ducks a clothesline attempt. Main Event hits a stump piledriver on A-Train. The bell rings. The referee declares that the time limit has expired, and the match is a draw. Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:60

Crowd Reaction:67

Match Quality:45

 

Notes:Nathan Jones is a physical wreck at the moment, and could barely do anything. He needs time off to heal!

 

(Nathan Jones gets the week off prior to the PPV. I care about my superstars after all)

 

Overall:45

 

Nathan Jones will be absent for the week leading up to the PPV. But don't worry. I have a BIG surprise to make up for the lack of Nathan Jones.

 

Also all my sponsors left me. Don't need them.

 

Also Rob Van Dam and Matt Hardy have been Bischoffed for getting injured. We hope they rot in the Independent circuit.

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Raw 6/23/03

 

Wifebeater Steve Austin has made a big match tonight. What. Austin has made a big match tonight. What. Steve Austin has found two crack whores errrrr competitors to wrestle in a Buck Naked Match. What. The only way to win is to strip your opponent down to their birthday suit. What. Birthday Suit. What. What they were wearing when they were born. What. Buck Naked. What. No clothes. What. Screw it...Austin says that the match will be Tammy Sytch vs Missy Hyatt tonight.

 

97

 

Stephanie McMahon is screeching at Eric Bischoff but Eric made Triple H fight Inspector Scott Steiner fight tonight. Why?? OH SHIT. This segment was supposed to air later. Too late now.

 

77

 

Welcome to the latest edition of Sucka's gots to know. Stevie Ray has found a tag team partner. Someone who he tagged with in the past. Stevie Ray says he and his partner will win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles from the APA tonight. Who is his partner? YA GOING DAWN. YA GOING DAWN. Out comes Ahmed Johnson. Harlem Heat 2000 is reformed. Who would have thought it.

 

44

 

Notes:Ahmed Johnson gained overness from this segment.

 

Harlem Heat 2000 vs A.P.A. (For The WWE Smackdown! Tag Team Titles) : Ahmed Johnson takes a right hand to the temple from Bradshaw. Ahmed takes a vertical suplex. Cover for a two count. Ahmed drops out the back of a Bradshaw bodyslam attempt. Incredibly weak powerslam on Bradshaw by Ahmed. Ahmed hits a stump piledriver on Bradshaw. Ahmed tags out to Stevie Ray. Stevie Ray scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Stevie Ray misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Bradshaw tags out to Faarooq. Uninspiring brawling from Faarooq. Faarooq strikes Stevie Ray. Cover for a two count. Weak bodyslam by Faarooq. Faarooq tags out to Bradshaw. Bradshaw scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Stevie Ray comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Stevie Ray hits a right hand on Bradshaw. Tag between Stevie Ray and Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed Johnson strikes Bradshaw. As Ray and Bradshaw get into a brawl on the outside, Al Wilson comes running down into the ring! Al Wilson has a chair, and drops Ahmed and Bradshaw with devastating blows, causing the referee to call for the bell. This match has been ruled a no contest! We have a three-way stand off in the ring, as Harlem Heat 2000, A.P.A. and Erected Vampires look at each other. They all charge forward, and a three-way brawl erupts in the ring! Security and a pile of referees hit the ring to stop the carnage. Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:57

Crowd Reaction:56

Match Quality:58

 

(The Erected Vampires wanted to keep there spot in the Unification tag title match at Bad Blood. Harlem Heat 2000 were on the verge of winning the titles. Ahmed pulls out a piledriver in this match. Scary)

 

Triple H comes out. Triple H is PISSED at Inspector Scott Steiner. Triple H says that Scott Steiner did not solve the case. Out comes Inspector Scott Steiner. Steiner says that he was the MASTERMIND behind it all. Steiner wants a World Title Shot against Triple H tonight. Triple H says why not. He buried Steiner once and tonight he will bury him again. Steiner says that Triple H has been the champion for too long. About THREE minutes too long. Out come Rosey and Jamal to batter the Champion. Eric Bischoff comes out and makes the match official. Triple H vs Inspector Scott Steiner for the Undisputed Title...TONIGHT.

 

70

 

Henry \ Funaki vs Erected Vampires (For The WWE Tag Team Titles) : Dropkick connects, Al Wilson goes down. Hard back suplex on Al Wilson. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Hooks the leg for a two count. Al Wilson ducks a wild right hand. Al Wilson hits some punches. Al Wilson hits a stump piledriver on Funaki. Al Wilson tags out to Count Cena. Rude Awakening on Funaki by Cena. Count Cena misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Tag to Mark Henry. Funaki \ Henry hook up Cena, then hit a double suplex. Uninspiring brawling from Mark Henry. Cover for a two count. Mark Henry hits a bulldog off the ropes. Tag between Mark Henry and Funaki. Vicious kick to the teeth from Funaki. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Cena powers out of a headlock. Tag between Count Cena and Al Wilson. Big clothesline on Funaki. Al Wilson moves in for the kill. Viagra Driver! 1....2....3. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:56

Crowd Reaction:57

Match Quality:56

 

Notes:Mark Henry didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating. The WWE Tag Team title has lost image.

 

(Well it looks to be the APA vs Erected Vampires to unify the tag team titles. There is a wrestling move called the Viagra Driver but thats not what Al Wilson does. Al Wilson does a stump piledriver onto a bottle of viagra.)

 

Mr. America gives an interview until All-American Lance Storm comes out and calls Mr. America a Communist Nazi Dictator. But its all a RUSE so Storm's new stable the Sterotypes comes out. Lets see if I can remember. Lance Storm(boring Canadian), Mark Henry(unover black guy), Rikishi(fat Samoan Guy), Jackie Gayda(dumb blonde), and Funaki(Ninja Japan Guy). They attack Mr. America and CRUCIFY HIM. THEY BY GAWD CRUCIFY HIM. Those vile sick individuals.

 

71

 

Notes:he fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one. Lance Storm gained overness from this segment. Mr. America lost overness from this segment.

 

David Arquette gives an Interview saying that Scott Steiner is full of shit. He is just trying to take the credit for being the Mastermind(cue Unsolved Mysteries theme). Arquette adds that the Real Mastermind will make his pressence felt at Bad Blood. That should get us at least 15 more buys.

 

72

 

Wrestling Vixxxens Memorial Buck Naked Match:

Missy Hyatt vs Tammy Sytch : Flying elbow off the top rope by Missy Hyatt, poor elevation though. Tammy blocks the suplex attempt. Some weak shots by Tammy. Tammy Sytch with a sloppy back bodydrop on Hyatt. Tammy uses a neckbreaker on Hyatt. Tammy drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Powerslam from Missy Hyatt on Tammy. Missy Hyatt nearly ends the career of Tammy with a screwed up dragon suplex. Incredibly weak powerslam on Tammy by Hyatt. Tammy Sytch pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Incredibly weak powerslam on Hyatt by Tammy. Flapjack from Tammy on Hyatt. Missy Hyatt can barely stand. Here it comes - Low Blow. Tammy Sytch strips Hyatt naked for the victory! Tammy Sytch offers a handshake to Hyatt...and she accepts it! No! Missy Hyatt levels Tammy with a cheap shot right hand! Missy Hyatt hits the Low Blow! Tammy Sytch has been floored after the match. Hyatt strips Tammy naked after the match because SEX=ratings. Nothing worth seeing here, i'll give a 1\2 star rating because i'm generous.

 

Overall:50

Crowd Reaction:71

Match Quality:3

 

Notes:Missy Hyatt lost overness from this match. Tammy Sytch gained overness from this match.

 

(Best match in the history of Raw. This match will be a favorite among the Tape Traders for YEARS to come)

 

Vince McMahon and Mae Young-McMahon are having the contract signing. Mae Young is wearing a trench coat to the ring and before the contract signing starts, she takes it off wearing nothing but a skimpy bra and thong panties. McMahon vomits and slips on his own vomit whacking his head on the edge of the table. Mae Young signs the contract in Vinnie's own vomit and then forces the limp hand of McMahon to sign the contract in his own vomit. Mae Young then hits a Bronco Buster on Vince just for kicks.

 

75

 

Notes:Vince McMahon lost overness from this segment. Mae Young-McMahon gained overness from this segment.

 

Triple H vs Inspector Scott Steiner (For The WWE Undisputed Title) : Inspector Scott Steiner takes a right hand to the temple from HHH. Inspector Scott Steiner ducks a clothesline attempt. Uninspiring brawling from Inspector Scott Steiner. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Inspector Scott Steiner drops HHH with a clothesline. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Triple H elbows Inspector Scott Steiner in the face to break a hammerlock. Running clothesline from Triple H, sloppily done. Triple H hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Triple H turns Steiner inside-out with a clothesline. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Steiner blocks a kick from Triple H. Messed up bodyslam by Steiner. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Triple H takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. David Arquette just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Triple H gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Steiner takes some shots at HHH as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. David Arquette has grabbed a chair. HHH walks over...and gets floored with a hard shot. Steiner also takes a hard shot. Arquette has laid everybody out! I'll give it a **1\2 rating.

 

Overall:71

Crowd Reaction:78

Match Quality:57

 

Notes:The WWE Undisputed title has lost image.

 

(David Arquette stands tall leading up to this Sunday. Arquette vs Triple H for the UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONSHIP this SUNDAY only on PPV at BAD Blood. Who is the mastermind?)

 

Overall:68

[Guest madmatt2002]

I bring out all the guns in what may be the final Smackdown ever.

 

Smackdown 6/25/03

 

Vince McMahon is making Triple H fight Three Minute Warning tonight in a handicap match. Why. Because he's VINCE MCMAHON DAMNIT. He is also adding Inspector Scott Steiner to the World Title Match this Sunday on PPV. Why. HE'S VINCE MCMAHON DAMNIT.

 

93

 

Notes:Vince McMahon gained overness from this segment.

 

Ironman Match to drive Scott Keith to the Point of Suicide Match:

Ahmed Johnson vs Big Show (For The WWE Intercontinental Title) : FIRST FALL: Ahmed Johnson hits a weak elbow on Big Show. Powerslam from Ahmed Johnson on Show. Cover for a two count. Show counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Uninspiring brawling from Big Show. Weak bodyslam on Ahmed by Show. Hooks the leg for a two count. Show DDTs Ahmed Johnson. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Show slams Ahmed Johnson down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Ahmed Johnson takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Ahmed Johnson DDTs Show, poorly executed. Hooks the leg for a two count. Ahmed Johnson drops Show with a clothesline. Pin, but Show is out just before the three count. Big forearm by Ahmed, which was thrown so badly that Misawa is probably doubled-up with laughter somewhere. Ahmed Johnson hits some weak-looking punches. Ahmed drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Big kick from Show. Flapjack from Show on Ahmed. Cover gets three. Big Show pinned Ahmed. SECOND FALL: Ahmed hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. Show strikes away at Ahmed Johnson. Big kick from Show. Show slams Ahmed Johnson down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Big Show misses a clothesline. Ahmed Johnson punches away at Big Show. Ahmed Johnson DDTs Show, poorly executed. Hooks the leg for a two count. Show blocks a punch. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Show. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Ahmed blocks a punch. Big clothesline from Ahmed. 'Big' because it missed by a big margin. Cover gets three. Ahmed Johnson pinned Show. THIRD FALL: Lame kick from Show. Show drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Show takes a weak kick. Ahmed whips Show into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. Ahmed Johnson scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Show drops out the back of a Ahmed Johnson bodyslam attempt. Ahmed Johnson takes a right hand to the temple from Show. Show hits a stump piledriver on Ahmed Johnson, although it was quite weak in its execution. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Show. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Ahmed Johnson takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Big clothesline from Ahmed. 'Big' because it missed by a big margin. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Show backdrops Ahmed Johnson out of a piledriver attempt. Ahmed Johnson can barely stand. Final Cut!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! END OF BOUT. DUD.

 

Overall:36

Crowd Reaction:38

Match Quality:32

 

Notes:The WWE Intercontinental title has lost image.

 

(Okay classic match. A nice preview for Nathan Jones vs The Big Show THIS Sunday at Bad Blood)

 

Buck Naked Return Match:

Missy Hyatt vs Tammy Sytch : Tammy suplexes Missy Hyatt badly. Hyatt reverses a Tammy Sytch hammerlock. Incredibly weak headbutt on Tammy by Hyatt. Tammy takes a weak clothesline. Incredibly weak powerslam on Tammy by Hyatt. Missy Hyatt misses a clothesline. Tammy Sytch DDTs Hyatt, poorly executed. Tammy Sytch scores with a weakly-hit standing spinebuster. Tammy Sytch hits a weak elbow on Missy Hyatt. Missy Hyatt ducks a clothesline attempt. Dropkick from Hyatt. Eric Bischoff would probably call that a 'high double drop calf kick'. But it's a dropkick to everyone else. Missy Hyatt drops Tammy with a clothesline. Tammy Sytch is in trouble. Low Blow!!! That shook the ring. Missy Hyatt pulls the clothes off Tammy to leave her nude for the win! DUD, and a poor DUD at that.

 

Overall:40

Crowd Reaction:54

Match Quality:9

 

(Missy Hyatt wins this time. They are 1-1. You would think a tiebreaker would be in order but this is logical. Logic has no place in the WWE)

 

Mae Young-McMahon and Jazz do battle in a Bikini Contest. Mae Young-McMahon repeats her number from last monday where Jazz wheres...nothing because she is a streaker. Mae Young wins by default because you must have a bikini on to win a Bikini Contest.

 

51

 

Billy Kidman and Wifebeater Steve Austin are backstage playing pool and talking about how they will be out of a job in less than a weeks time.

 

58

 

Notes:Wifebeater Steve Austin lost overness from this segment. Billy Kidman gained overness from this segment.

 

Al Wilson vs Jackie \ Nidia : Al Wilson hits some punches. Face crusher from Al Wilson on Nidia. Big piledriver on Nidia. Cover for a two count. Jackie eats a swinging neckbreaker slam from Al Wilson. Jackie counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Jackie \ Nidia hook up Al Wilson, then hit a double suplex. Nidia snap suplexes Al Wilson...with authority! ('With authority', trademark G.Monsoon 1986.) Jackie hits a stump piledriver on Al Wilson. Nidia \ Jackie whip Al Wilson into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jackie Gayda nearly ends the career of Al Wilson with a screwed up dragon suplex. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Jackie Gayda walks into a chop to the pecs. Al Wilson takes a vertical suplex from Nidia. Nidia \ Jackie hook up Al Wilson, then hit a double suplex. Hooks the leg for a two count. Some weak shots by Jackie. Al Wilson counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Al Wilson counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Massive lariat, apparently Al Wilson has been watching The Best Of Stan Hansen again. Al Wilson whips Jackie into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. Jackie Gayda floors Al Wilson, then signals for the Roll up. Meanwhile, Al Wilson has something in his hands. Jackie comes over...and gets nailed with a ten inch flesh like object! The referee wakes up to see the pinfall: 1....2....3! It's over. I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:58

Crowd Reaction:62

Match Quality:49

 

Notes:Jackie Gayda lost overness from this match.

 

(The ten inch flesh like object was...well lets just say it was a replica of something that Al Wilson knows to use well)

 

Tommy Dreamer will sick bump for my amusement Death Match:

Tommy Dreamer vs Kevin Nash : Tommy Dreamer uses a big bag of popcorn to floor Nash. Spear by Tommy Dreamer. Nash strikes away at Tommy Dreamer. Nash chair shots Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Nash chair shots Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer takes a vertical suplex. Nash chair shots Tommy Dreamer. Full nelson slam on Nash. Death valley driver by Tommy Dreamer, Kevin Nash got planted. Tommy Dreamer drives a table into Nash. Big clothesline on Nash. Tommy Dreamer uses a big bag of popcorn to floor Nash. Kevin Nash hits a right hand on Tommy Dreamer. Side suplex from Nash. Nash wraps barbed wire around his body...and splashes the prone Dreamer!!! Cover gets three. Kevin Nash pinned Dreamer. Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:59

Crowd Reaction:60

Match Quality:58

 

Notes:Tommy Dreamer has sustained an injury as a result of a bad bump!

 

(Tommy Dreamer....you are the weakest link...goodbye. Notice now I am not just firing guys. I am injuring them and then I "Bischoff" their asses. Kevin Nash is a hardcore icon but you already knew that)

 

Triple H is backstage when a figure runs from behind a pile of crates. Someone is stalking Triple H....again. Maybe its the mastermind behind the first stalking. Order Bad Blood this Sunday and you may or may not find out.

 

85

 

Steve McMichael vs Stevie Ray : Steve McMichael strikes Stevie Ray. Steve McMichael strikes Stevie Ray. Incredibly weak powerslam on Ray by McMichael. Stevie Ray powers out of a Steve McMichael headlock. Weak bodyslam by Ray. McMichael reverses a waistlock. Steve McMichael DDTs Ray, poorly executed. Steve McMichael drops Ray with a clothesline. Steve McMichael misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Weak headbutt on McMichael by Ray. McMichael drops out the back of a Stevie Ray bodyslam attempt. Steve McMichael hits a weak elbow on Stevie Ray. McMichael floors Stevie Ray and locks in a STF! Ray submits to the pain! DUD.

 

Overall:44

Crowd Reaction:35

Match Quality:54

 

(Two masters of submission wrestling in this Submission Match. Mongo proves to be the better man on this night)

 

Stand Back There is a Hurricane that Shall be Sick Bumped High Incident Match:

Hurricane vs Inspector Scott Steiner : They start brawling in the aisle. Right hand from Steiner. Hurricane strikes Steiner. Elbow from Steiner. Swift kick from Hurricane on the outside. Both wrestlers make their way up the scaffold! They start brawling high above the ring...until Steiner hits a crunching headbutt...and Hurricane falls, crashing through three tables! We have a winner! **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:67

Crowd Reaction:73

Match Quality:55

 

Notes:Hurricane has sustained an injury as a result of a bad bump!

 

(Hurricane your cut. See ya. I am really clearing out the dead weight tonight. Armageddon is coming in less then a week and NO I don't mean the December PPV. I mean the end of the WWE)

 

Triple H vs Three Minute Warning : Uninspiring brawling from Triple H. Triple H with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Rosey. Big clothesline from HHH. Cover for a two count. Jamal takes a right hand to the temple from HHH. Jamal powers out of a headlock. Three Minute Warning hook up HHH, then hit a double suplex. Weak bodyslam on HHH by Rosey. Jamal hits a sloppy double axe handle. Rosey scoops up HHH. Jamal bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Jamal on HHH. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. HHH strikes away at Jamal. Big kick from Rosey. Rosey scoops up HHH. Jamal bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Cover for a two count. HHH receives some unexciting punishment. HHH powers out of a headlock. HHH drops out the back of a Rosey bodyslam attempt. Flapjack from HHH on Rosey. Jamal is in trouble. Pedigree! 1....2....3. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:69

Crowd Reaction:71

Match Quality:67

 

(The final match on UPN for the WWE is...Triple H beating two Samoans)

 

Overall:53.

 

Tommy Dreamer fired. Hurricane fired. Kane injured his eye tripping backstage and landing on a garden rake for a hardcore match. He may be a Hoss but he is Bischoffed as well.

 

One more show to Armageddon(Thats the subtitle for Raw after Bad Blood). Velocity will be a recap show. Here is the Final Bad Blood Card. Predictions are of course welcomed.

 

World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match:

David Arquette vs Inspector Scott Steiner vs Triple H©

 

Match for the Undisputed GM of the WWE:

Stephanie McMahon vs Wifebeater Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff

 

Ladder Match for Ownership of the WWE:

Mae Young-McMahon vs Vince McMahon

 

WWE Interconinental Title Ironman Match:

Nathan Jones vs The Big Show©

 

Unification Match for the Tag Team Titles:

Erected Vampires vs The APA

 

Jobberweight/Woman's Title Unification Match:

Nidia vs Jackie Gayda

 

Vanilla Midget Tossing Match(High Incident):

Chris Jericho vs Kevin Nash

 

Fighting the Evil Empire of Canada:

Mr. America vs Lance Storm

 

Again Predictions are welcomed. Bad Blood shall be up Friday-ish.

[Guest Random Hero]

Inspector Scott Steiner deserves a title reign.

[Guest ftwdevils2469]

World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match:

David Arquette vs Inspector Scott Steiner vs Triple H©

 

Match for the Undisputed GM of the WWE:

Stephanie McMahon vs Wifebeater Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff

 

Ladder Match for Ownership of the WWE:

Mae Young-McMahon vs Vince McMahon

 

WWE Interconinental Title Ironman Match:

Nathan Jones vs The Big Show©

 

Unification Match for the Tag Team Titles:

Erected Vampires vs The APA

 

Jobberweight/Woman's Title Unification Match:

Nidia vs Jackie Gayda

 

Vanilla Midget Tossing Match(High Incident):

Chris Jericho vs Kevin Nash

 

Fighting the Evil Empire of Canada:

Mr. America vs Lance Storm

[Guest La Marka]

I expect we will all be swerved and see Nathan Jones defeat everyone and unify the titles.

 

And I think Triple H is the stalker.

[Guest phoenixrising]

World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match:

David Arquette vs Inspector Scott Steiner vs Triple H©

 

Match for the Undisputed GM of the WWE:

Stephanie McMahon vs Wifebeater Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff

 

Ladder Match for Ownership of the WWE:

Mae Young-McMahon vs Vince McMahon

 

WWE Interconinental Title Ironman Match:

Nathan Jones vs The Big Show©

 

Unification Match for the Tag Team Titles:

Erected Vampires vs The APA

 

Jobberweight/Woman's Title Unification Match:

Nidia vs Jackie Gayda

 

Vanilla Midget Tossing Match(High Incident):

Chris Jericho vs Kevin Nash

 

Fighting the Evil Empire of Canada:

Mr. America vs Lance Storm

[Guest madmatt2002]

WWE Bad Blood 6/29/03:

 

Your announcers are Gene Okerlund and Steve Ray because suckas gots to knows.

 

Lance Storm comes to the ring in a headress and war paint. He is a Native "By-Gawd" American.

 

Lance Storm vs Mr. America : Spinning back kick from Lance Storm. Mr. America powers out of a Lance Storm headlock. Mr. America hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Mr. America drops Storm with a clothesline. Lance Storm gets knocked to the ground by Mr America. Legdrop Of Doom!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Tatanka comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Storm turns around...straight into a Reservation Drop!! Lance Storm has been left down on the canvas. Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

 

Overall:58

Crowd Reaction:61

Match Quality:54

 

Notes:The fans were confused by the gimmick change of Lance Storm so soon after his last one.

 

(This is Vince Russo booking 101. Match is barley longer then the post match beatdown. Tatanka attacks Lance Storm because he stole his gimmick. Tatanka vs Lance Storm on Raw-The Armageddon tommorow night. Another Vince Russo Booking 101 tip-Use PPVs to hype up your TV show)

 

Jackie Gayda vs Nidia (To unify The WWE Jobberweight and Woman's Titles) : Nidia takes a weak kick. Nidia takes a weak kick. Jackie Gayda strikes Nidia. Jackie Gayda attacks with some poorly executed flying moves. Nidia counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Nidia snap suplexes Jackie...with authority! ('With authority', trademark G.Monsoon 1986.) Nidia suplexes Jackie Gayda badly. Cover for a two count. Jackie Gayda reverses a hip toss. Back heel kick from Jackie on Nidia. Cover for a two count. Side suplex from Jackie. Shades of Dino Bravo there, although even Dino could execute it better than Jackie. Pin, but Nidia is out just before the three count. Nidia backdrops Jackie Gayda out of a piledriver attempt. Nidia suplexes Jackie to the canvas. Jackie Gayda avoids a Nidia avalanche. Jackie suplexes Nidia to the canvas. Nidia slams Jackie, who rolls onto her stomach. What is Jackie Gayda doing? Nidia picks her up and signals for a powerbomb. She raises Jackie up...but then falls backward, getting crushed by her opponent in the process! Jackie Gayda is on top! 1....2....3! Looking at the replay, it appears that Jackie had taken a chain out of her tights and wrapped it around her fist! Nidia must have been punched with that chain while in mid-powerbomb! What a cheap shot! DUD.

 

Overall:44

Crowd Reaction:48

Match Quality:35

 

Notes:Nidia gained overness from this match. Jackie Gayda gained overness from this match. The WWE Jobberweight title has lost image.

 

(Jackie Gayda is a DOUBLE Champion. The most talented female athlete in WWE history and believe me with such talents as Stephanie McMahon and Mae Young-McMahon that has to be an accomplishment)

 

Chris Jericho vs Kevin Nash : They start brawling in the aisle. Eye gouge from Kevin Nash. Kevin Nash uses a headbutt on the outside. Kick from Jericho. Elbow from Nash. Both wrestlers make their way up the scaffold! They start brawling high above the ring...until Nash hits a big right hand...and Chris Jericho falls, crashing through three tables! We have a winner! A good *** rating.

 

Overall:80

Crowd Reaction:94

Match Quality:50

 

Notes:Chris Jericho has sustained an injury as a result of a bad bump!

 

(The final step has been completed. Jericho has been injured by Kevin Nash-The Vanilla Midget Killer)

 

Erected Vampires vs A.P.A. (Tag Title Unification Match) : Running clothesline from Bradshaw, sloppily done. Weak bodyslam by Bradshaw. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Bradshaw and Faarooq. A.P.A. whip Al Wilson into the corner. Faarooq whips Bradshaw in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Faarooq hits a right hand on Al Wilson. Hooks the leg for a two count. Al Wilson receives some unexciting punishment. Al Wilson backdrops Faarooq out of a piledriver attempt. Slingshot clothesline by Al Wilson, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Tag to Count Cena. Fallaway slam by Count Cena. Massive backbreaker, Faarooq got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Faarooq ducks a clothesline attempt. Tag to Bradshaw. Bradshaw hits a stump piledriver on Count Cena, although it was quite weak in its execution. Flapjack from Bradshaw on Cena. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Bradshaw strikes Count Cena. Cena reverses a Bradshaw hammerlock. Massive backbreaker, Bradshaw got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. As Al Wilson and Bradshaw get into a brawl on the outside, Ahmed Johnson comes running down into the ring! Count Cena gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Bradshaw takes some shots at Cena as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. We have three sets of grapplers in the ring, as Erected Vampires, A.P.A. and Harlem Heat 2000 look at each other. Before the inevitable brawl erupts, a host of referees hit the ring to keep them apart. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

 

Overall:61

Crowd Reaction:53

Match Quality:70

 

Notes:This match suffered because the crowd were still pumped up from the last one, and so this bout was seen as something of a let-down to them.

 

(SWERVE~! Another lesson in Vince Russo booking 101. I swear to god the tag team titles will be unified tommorow night on Raw-The Armageddon. The APA vs Erected Vampires vs Harlem Heat 2000 in a three way dance for the gold)

 

Big Show vs Nathan Jones (For The WWE Intercontinental Title) : FIRST FALL: Running clothesline from Big Show, sloppily done. Show hits a stump piledriver on Nathan Jones, although it was quite weak in its execution. There's a two count on the pin. Nathan Jones fights out of a grapple. Nathan Jones punches away at Big Show. Nathan Jones punches away at Big Show. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Main Event on Show. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. Show counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Show hits a stump piledriver on Nathan Jones, although it was quite weak in its execution. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy tornado punch from Big Show, Main Event barely got hit. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Weak bodyslam on Main Event by Show. Big Show hits a right hand on Nathan Jones. Main Event reverses a Big Show hammerlock. Uninspiring brawling from Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones scores with a weakly-hit standing spinebuster. Pin, three count, it's over. Nathan Jones pins Show. SECOND FALL: Nathan Jones hits a weak punch on Big Show. Nathan Jones punches away at Big Show. Nathan Jones hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Punch by Main Event, missing Show by a good six inches. Big Show comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Big Show with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Main Event. Big Show hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Nathan Jones powers out of a Big Show headlock. Messed up bodyslam by Main Event. Hooks the leg for a two count. Nathan Jones drops Show with a clothesline. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Show ducks a wild right hand. Powerslam from Big Show on Main Event. Cover gets three. Big Show pinned Main Event. THIRD FALL: Nathan Jones hits some weak-looking punches. Big Show fights out of a grapple. Show strikes away at Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones charges, Show moves, and the referee is conveniently placed to get knocked out. Side suplex from Show. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Main Event counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Punch by Main Event, missing Show by a good six inches. Nathan Jones DDTs Show, poorly executed. Cover for a two count. Side suplex from Main Event. Shades of Dino Bravo there, although even Dino could execute it better than Main Event. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Nathan Jones gets taken down out of nowhere. Big Show DDTs Main Event, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Main Event drops out the back of a Big Show bodyslam attempt. Big Show can barely stand. Main Event Spinebuster! 1....2....3. END OF BOUT. I'll give a 1\2 star rating.

 

Overall:47

Crowd Reaction:55

Match Quality:30

 

Notes:Nathan Jones is a physical wreck at the moment, and could barely do anything. He needs time off to heal! Big Show lost overness from this match. Nathan Jones gained overness from this match. The WWE Intercontinental title has lost image.

 

(And your NEW Internconinental Champion..."The Main Event" Nathan Jones. Poor Nathan. His body is starting to break down after carrying this company for so long)

 

Eric Bischoff vs Wifebeater Steve Austin vs Stephanie McMahon : Eric Bischoff strikes Stephanie McMahon. Wifebeater receives some unexciting punishment. Stephanie McMahon powers out of a Eric Bischoff headlock. Stephanie McMahon strikes Eric Bischoff. Full nelson slam on Steph. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Big kick from Bischoff. Eric Bischoff misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Stephanie McMahon scoops up Bischoff. Wifebeater bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Stephanie McMahon scores with a weakly-hit standing spinebuster. Wifebeater Steve Austin fires off some right and left hands. Stephanie McMahon reverses a hip toss. Stephanie McMahon hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Eric Bischoff can barely stand. Pedigree!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Almost wandered into *** match territory, but there was too much that dragged it down so it only gets a **3\4 rating.

 

Overall:74

Crowd Reaction:86

Match Quality:48

 

(Your UNDISPUTED General Manager of the WWE....Stephanie McMahon. That hack job Misawa has nothing on the workrate she brings. Did you here about her **** 1/2 match in the bedroom with Triple H? Would have been more if Triple H hadn't blown up towards the end)

 

Mae Young-McMahon vs Vince McMahon : Vince McMahon throws Mae into a ladder in the corner. Vince McMahon hits a bulldog off the ropes. Mae Young-McMahon fights out of a grapple. Vince tastes a spinning neckbreaker from Mae. Mae suplexes Vince to the canvas. Ladder-shot by Mae. Vince takes a weak clothesline. Vince pushes out of a Mae Young-McMahon hold. Powerslam from Vince McMahon on Mae. Vince McMahon scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Running clothesline from Vince McMahon, sloppily done. Vince McMahon drives the ladder into Mae. Vince walks into a trip. Vince McMahon walks into a suplex from Mae Young-McMahon. Mae Young-McMahon nearly ends the career of Vince with a screwed up dragon suplex. Vince McMahon is in trouble. Here it comes - Face Full of Stuff. Mae Young-McMahon goes up ladder and grabs the prize for the win. ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:63

Crowd Reaction:78

Match Quality:30

 

Notes:Vince McMahon lost overness from this match. Mae Young-McMahon gained overness from this match.

 

(Your NEW Owner of the WWE....Mae Young McMahon. However we still will have feuding McMahons version 1,434,356,000 when Mae Young McMahon(the owner) and Stephanie McMahon(the general manager) go at it. Plus I think Scott Keith is slowly becoming unhinged if he called that match perfectly acceptable wrestling when there were no Canadians is sight)

 

David Arquette vs Inspector Scott Steiner vs Triple H (For The WWE Undisputed Title) : Uninspiring brawling from Inspector Scott Steiner. Uninspiring brawling from Inspector Scott Steiner. Arquette reverses a waistlock. David Arquette punches away at Inspector Scott Steiner. Triple H DDTs Arquette, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Inspector Scott Steiner hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Inspector Scott Steiner misses a clothesline. Arquette \ HHH hook up Steiner, then hit a double suplex. Sloppy tornado punch from David Arquette, Steiner barely got hit. Lame kick from HHH. Arquette pushes out of a Triple H hold. David Arquette punches away at Inspector Scott Steiner. Inspector Scott Steiner hooks up a suplex, but Arquette flips out and lands on his feet, and quickly grabs the tights to score with a school boy pin! 1...2..3! The referee somehow missed the blatant cheating! ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Overall:63

Crowd Reaction:72

Match Quality:45

 

Notes:The WWE Undisputed title has lost image.

 

(Your NEW WWE Undisputed Champion David Arquette. Arquette becomes one of the elite to hold both the WCW and WWE Titles. Triple H isn't pinned however. That came of as a total shock to everyone I am sure)

 

Mae Young McMahon comes out and she says she is going to make some chances. First of all that polite young man(Mae's words) Hulk Hogan is reinstated. Second of all David Arquette will defend his Undisputed Title tommorow night on Raw-The Armageddon against....The WWE Interconinental Champion Nathan Jones. Also it will be in a Hell in a Cell Match. And....Triple H, I am the mastermind behind your stalking because Triple H....I am your MOTHER.

 

Triple H goes into shock because of this bombshell.

 

72

 

Overall:54

 

OR Not...

 

As of June 29, 2003 at 10:44 PM(shortly after Bad Blood went off the air it is all over the news)

 

The WWE closes and files bankruptcy

 

Also some other headlines:

Vince McMahon is driven to the point of insanity. Put in mental institution.

 

David Arquette puts WWE Undisputed Title Belt on E-Bay.

 

Triple H dumps Stephanie McMahon because he only wanted the McMahon family fortune and not her.

 

Kurt Angle is laughing at all of this because his firing started the bad times for the WWE.

 

Al Wilson's spirt leaves the body of Crash Holly and Crash Holly is found twitching in a ditch someone in New York City.

 

Mr. America reveals that he is indeed Hulk Hogan to the shock of no one.

 

Nathan Jones cries because he was scheduled to win the WWE Undisputed Title the next night on Raw.

 

Coming Soon:The WWE is dead. Killed. Murdered. However a new power attempts to take the wWE's spot. Not NWA-TNA. Not ROH. Not even MLW.

 

Pro-Wrestling Hogan-Thoses under 35(with the acception of Nathan Jones) need not apply.

[Guest The Superstar]

Oh, poor WWE. God bless them.

 

AWESOME end to the diary. Pro Wrestling Hogan will rule the earth.

[Guest phoenixrising]

"And....Triple H, I am the mastermind behind your stalking because Triple H....I am your MOTHER."

Best...bombshell...ever.

 

Shame that WWE went into bankruptcy right after. Obviously Nathan Jones should have sucked it up and wrestled even more matches.