O'Reilly vs Franken Hell in the Cell erupts

[Guest whatitistoburn]

I have a confession.

 

I fucking LOVED Stuart Saves His Family.

[Guest Vyce]

I have a confession.

 

I fucking LOVED Stuart Saves His Family.

Why would you admit to that?

 

It's like saying you loved the "It's Pat!" movie. You're talking crazy talk!

[Guest Razor Roman]

O'Reilly probably just lost his temper. Franken has been a jerk to the guys at Fox News a bunch of times now. He got in to a big fight with Sean Hannity and fellow liberal Alan Colmes when he did an appearance on their show, and he harassed a bunch fo the guys from Fox and Friends at some correspondents dinner a few months ago.

 

He's the one who comes of as attention starved, IMHO. O'Reilly has the highest rated cable news show, he shouldn't lower himself to Stuart Smalley's level. And I'm sure that even HE knows that in hindsight, it probably wasn't a wise thing to do.

[Guest Vyce]

O'Reilly probably just lost his temper. Franken has been a jerk to the guys at Fox News a bunch of times now. He got in to a big fight with Sean Hannity and fellow liberal Alan Colmes when he did an appearance on their show, and he harassed a bunch fo the guys from Fox and Friends at some correspondents dinner a few months ago.

Did he mess with E.D.?

 

If he did, there will be hell to pay.

[Guest Razor Roman]

O'Reilly probably just lost his temper. Franken has been a jerk to the guys at Fox News a bunch of times now. He got in to a big fight with Sean Hannity and fellow liberal Alan Colmes when he did an appearance on their show, and he harassed a bunch fo the guys from Fox and Friends at some correspondents dinner a few months ago.

Did he mess with E.D.?

 

If he did, there will be hell to pay.

I think it was Brian Killmeade. But I'd like to mess with E. D.... just don't tell my fiancee.

[Guest Vyce]

O'Reilly probably just lost his temper. Franken has been a jerk to the guys at Fox News a bunch of times now. He got in to a big fight with Sean Hannity and fellow liberal Alan Colmes when he did an appearance on their show, and he harassed a bunch fo the guys from Fox and Friends at some correspondents dinner a few months ago.

Did he mess with E.D.?

 

If he did, there will be hell to pay.

I think it was Brian Killmeade. But I'd like to mess with E. D.... just don't tell my fiancee.

As would I.

 

If it wasn't E.D., fuck it. I could care less if he was screwing with those other two douche bags.

 

If he steps up to my man Neil Cavuto, though, or - dare I even think it? - Tony Snow, well then, I'd have to throw down.

[Guest ShooterJay]

My college pimps the shit out of O'Reilly, yet Howard Stern is shunned. Talk about your double standards.

[Guest bob_barron]

::Transfers to ShooterJay's school::

 

TO doesn't get the O'Reilly Factor

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

O'Reilly got a political science degree from Harvard I believe

Gee, he really represents the common man with credentials like that.

 

The real point of this thread was "Gee, both these guys are sure dumb. Let's look at 'em go!" I don't like Franken either, but the DittoHeads have turned it into a left/right thing again.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Gee, he really represents the common man with credentials like that.

Give it a rest. Anyone who represents "the common man" by the fact alone becomes uncommon. In order to represent anyone effectively and intelligently a person must have an education, and the better the education the better the representation. Claiming that someone's educational background somehow disqualifies him from understanding common people (which is pretty insulting, to both common and uncommon people) is a cheap rhetorical device at best.

 

And I really don't know what the hell you're talking about anyway, considering that, were I provost, Bill O'Reilly isn't exactly the poster boy I'd choose to show off Harvard's most sterling qualities. You might as well pick some random inbred dirt-for-brains Appalachian hick; at least they have more class.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Just finished watching the expo. (Thanks for the link, Tyler.) Amusing in a painful sort of way, but although I watched it without prejudice (no, really), and I even liked the way Bill O'Reilly started out - his initial speech was dignified and sensible enough - in the end, he wound up looking like the rabid attack dog he is, and Al Franken looked like the genuinely nice and funny (if misguided) guy he is. I agree far more with O'Reilly's politics than Franken's, but Franken made some good points (especially about the GI bill) and O'Reilly's were lost in his loud, humourless, vindictive, and clumsy hostility. There's always a strange sort of hatred present in Bill O'Reilly - he acts like a Mike Tyson with a microphone. Any slight he suffers he has to avenge with an utterly ridiculous escalation of rhetoric and intensity. It's like an ant stings him and he wants to call in an airstrike.

Franken, on the other hand, is the kind of guy who would help you up and shake your hand after knocking you out. Even though he is on the wrong side, I'll buy his book, and I won't buy O'Reilly's.

[Guest bob_barron]

I'll be buying both of their books.

 

I disagree with Franken's politics but his books are very very funny and always have me laughing my ass off.

 

I of course will read Bill's book.

 

Marney-

 

What did you think of the Molly Ivins- Bill O'Reilly debate?

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Molly Ivins was too low-key to register in comparison. Bill didn't seem to know what he was talking about when he tried to discuss her politics, and she annoyed me with her constant repetition of "I'm Molly Ivins." Yes, we know, get the fuck on with it please. And when she did get around to talking she sounded pretty smarmy, to be honest. Every anecdote she told seemed to centre on one of her powerful friends or someone with national name recognition whom she'd known for ages. If I wanted to watch some female lick her own crotch I'd buy a dog.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

You've got a fairly serious person against someone who is labelled as and acts the part of a humorist. I love it.

[Guest bob_barron]

This is from the April 13th, 2001 episode of SNL-

 

Chris Matthews: Molly Ivins, we're gonna start with you! This is Bush's first test on an international stage - can he claim victory, or what?!

 

Molly Ivins: [ laughing ] Oh, I don't think so, Chris! There's an old saying down here in Texas: "Bobcats can eat all the chili it wants, don't mean he's gonna crap diamonds."

 

Chris Matthews: I got no idea what that means!

 

Chris Matthews: Molly Ivins, are relations with China strained forever!

 

Molly Ivins: Well, Chris.. you know the old Texas proverb about square-dancing on a hot griddle!

 

Chris Matthews: No I don't!

 

Molly Ivins: Well, you can't do it unless you're wearing special heat-proof grill-dancing shoes! Think about it, Chris!

 

Chris Matthews: Whoa, Ivins! There's a fine line between down-home folksy and freakin' nuts!

 

Molly Ivins: Chris, can I just say one more thing?

 

Chris Matthews: Yeah!

 

Molly Ivins: If a coyote's chewing on your boot, you better cowboy Alamo six-shooter tumbleweed rodeo moustache wax, partner!

 

Chris Matthews: Good God, woman, what the hell are you talking about!! If anyone's watching this show, steer clear of Molly Ivins!

[Guest bob_barron]

And for all the O'Reilly haters-

 

This is also from SNL orignally aired on 3.2.03-

 

(thanks to snltranscript.jt.org for this and the above transcript)-

 

Bill O'Reilly: Hello, everybody, I'm Bill O'Reilly, thank you for watching The Factor. Our top story tonight: Was bankrupt energy giant Enron responsible for the power shortage last year that rocked California? My next guest says no, it was the "environmentalists". He's Thomas Woodward, an attorney with the American Enterprise Institute. Mr. Woodward, thanks for coming on The Factor.

 

Thomas Woodward: My pleasure, Bill.

 

Bill O'Reilly: Now, uh, Mr. Woodward, in your article, you say that environmentalists simply refuse to acknowledge California's growing need for electricity.

 

Thomas Woodward: That's right.

 

Bill O'Reilly: You also say that California has more people than any other state. I say New York State has more people - tell me where I'm wrong!

 

Thomas Woodward: [ confused ] Um.. well.. Bill.. actually, California is the most populous state.

 

Bill O'Reilly: I don't know, Counselor. I live in New York, and I walk down the streets every day, and there's people everywhere! You can't move! You know what I mean? Last week, I was in California, went to the beach in Malibu. Nobody! Practically empty. So, for my money, New York's got more people. Probably New Jersey, too.

 

Thomas Woodward: Well, Bill, your own experience nonwithstanding, each of the last four censuses has clearly shown -

 

Bill O'Reilly: Sorry, Counselor, not buying it! Not buying it!

 

Thomas Woodward: Bill, I swear to you, California is our largest state!

 

Bill O'Reilly: Look, Mr. Woodward, you've got your opinion, I've got mine. We're not gonna settle this tonight.

 

Thomas Woodward: Actually, we could setlle this tonight! Do you have an almanac?

 

Bill O'Reilly: Sorry, Counselor, nice try. But I'll give you the last word.

 

Thomas Woodward: Is there someone else here I could talk to?

 

Bill O'Reilly: Thanks for coming on The Factor.

 

Next up on The Factor, our Unresolved Problem segment. Once again, the ongoing saga of San Francisco Giants slugger, Barry Bonds. As you know, Mr. Bonds has repeatedly claimed that, during the 2001 baseball season, he hit 73 home runs. We here at The Factor very much doubt this. We even invited him on the show to argue his case, but he keeps ducking us! Mr. Bonds, by your continued refusal to appear on The Factor and take the heat, you have proven that you're not only a liar, but a coward as well. And even if you had hit 73 home runs, it's still a far cry from the 755 Hank Aaron hit in 1974. And that's tonight's Unresolved Problems.

 

Now, in our Back of the Book segment: Is human activity really changing Earth's atmosphere? Our next guest thinks so. She's Susan van Etten, Professor of Environmental Sciences at Tulane University. Miss van Etten, thanks for coming on The Factor.

 

Susan van Etten: Thank you, Bill.

 

Bill O'Reilly: Now, when you say greenhouse gasses, what are we talking about here.

 

Susan van Etten: Well, principally, Bill, carbon dioxide or CO2 -

 

Bill O'Reilly: Hold it, hold it, Professor! CO2?

 

Susan van Etten: Yes. Bill, you see, as the result of most industrial processes, carbon combines with oxygen.

 

Bill O'Reilly: Oh, sorry, Professor, not buying it. I know that's a byline, but I'm just not buying it. You've got carbon, you've got oxygen. And my gut tells me, when push comes to shove, oxygen is just not gonna combine with a carbon. I don't care what you do to the carbon!

 

Susan van Etten: Well.. Bill.. under intense heat, carbon does -

 

Bill O'Reilly: Sorry, Professor, I just don't buy it! But let's move on. You say in your piece that greenhouse gasses have been found on the top of Mount Everest.

 

Susan van Etten: That's correct.

 

Bill O'Reilly: You also say that Mount Everest is the world's tallest mountain peak. I say the world's tallest peak is Space Mountain - tell me where I'm wrong!

 

Susan van Etten: [ stunned ] Space Mountain?

 

Bill O'Reilly: Space Mountain! In the Pocano Mountain Range, part of Joshua Tree National Park in Alaska? Where am I wrong?

 

Susan van Etten: Okay.. um.. first of all, Space Mountain is not a mountain. I beleive it's a roller coaster. Also, the Pocano Mountains are in Pennsylvania, and are not part of any national park, least of all Joshua Tree National Park, which has mountains. And it's in California, not Alaska.

 

Bill O'Reilly: Hey, have you ever been to Alaska, Professor?

 

Susan van Etten: Bill, I was just explaining -

 

Bill O'Reilly: I'm sorry, Professor! I asked you a simple question: Have you ever been to Alaska?

 

Susan van Etten: [ meekly ] No.

 

Bill O'Reilly: Well, I appreciate you're coming on The Factor. And I'll give you the last word.

 

Susan van Etten: Uh..

 

[ time's up ]

 

Bill O'Reilly: And now for a look at our Viewer Mail, about a story on overcrowding in kindergarten classrooms.

 

Janet Miller of Park City, Utah writes: "Bill, normally I'm a fan of 'The Factor's' hard hitting style, but your interview with the five-year old girl about class size was a little too rough. Telling her she was 'out of her mind' was simply uncalled for."

 

Janet, here at The Factor, we pull no punches, When you come on the show, you gotta know that.

 

Ed Gekas, Emhurst, Illinois: "Bill, your tough, incisive questions had that five year old girl squirming. The bottom line is, you had the facts. She didn't."

 

And finally, Paul Jemino of Islip, New York writes: "Bill, even though the girl hurt her case by crying, she was right, and you were wrong. Albany, not New York City, is the capital of New York State."

 

Well, Paul, I thank you for watching. But I still say New York City is the state capital. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

 

And finally, our Most Ridiculous Item of the Day: This week, Congress voted $1.2 million of your tax dollars to the University of Iowa to study breast cancer! Come on! Don't study it, guys. Cure it! Ridiculous! [ laughs ] Well, that's all the time we have for The Factor. As always, we thank you for watching. I'm Bill O'Reilly. Good night.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Molly Ivins: If a coyote's chewing on your boot, you better cowboy Alamo six-shooter tumbleweed rodeo moustache wax, partner!

 

Chris Matthews: Good God, woman, what the hell are you talking about!! If anyone's watching this show, steer clear of Molly Ivins!

Yeah, she played up the Texan thing way too much. Sounded like she was on drugs half the time. Real Texans don't talk like that; I think she just uses the wildly exaggerated accent as a gimmick.

[Guest ShooterJay]

::Transfers to ShooterJay's school::

 

TO doesn't get the O'Reilly Factor

Sadly, Bob, we don't get cable, so transferring to Boston U. would do no good in terms of getting the Factor.

 

Our fearless leader John Silber, the very definition of intellectual elitist (check out his book- Straight Shooting: What's Wrong with America and How to Fix It) considers Bill O'Reilly one of the only "worthwhile" famous alumni (he has a master's degree from our communications school), and constantly sucks his dick for donations, personal appearances, and plugging BU (and praise Silber) on the show.

[Guest Vyce]

O'Reilly got a political science degree from Harvard I believe

Gee, he really represents the common man with credentials like that.

 

The real point of this thread was "Gee, both these guys are sure dumb. Let's look at 'em go!" I don't like Franken either, but the DittoHeads have turned it into a left/right thing again.

Wow. I find it ironic that you say this, since the 8th post in you said this:

 

I remember photoshopping a fake headline along the line of "Meda Whore Puts Foot In Mouth" or something a few O'Reilly threads ago.

 

Nothing greater than a guy from an expensive high falutin' university speaking out for the common man.

 

Essentially turning the tide from your very own thread from "idiot vs. idiot" to you, a liberal, making disparaging remarks about Bill O'Reilly, conservative darling. Is it then shocking when the conservatives respond in kind towards Franken?

 

Huh. Why, maybe it wasn't those "dittoheads" who turned this into a left vs. right thing after all.