AIW Slams & Jams! (6-06-03)

[Guest nWoScorpion]

As of late, I will continue posting recaps of the weekly AIW shows, and affter realizing I didn't post the second episode, it will be included here as well. ENJOY!

 

 

AIW: Slams & Jams! (May 16, 2003)

 

 

- Your Hosts? I still can't catch their names but they aren't as bad as Michael Cole from 1999...or 2003. One of these days I'll find out though!

 

(prays for something good; or above DUD)

 

- The Border Patrol (Agent Gun & Maxx) Vs. Miguel Perez & Joe Savoldi:

Well, Perez had a good match the first week, hopefully Savoldi can do better. Perez with an armbar on Maxx, and Savoldi in with an arm ringer surfboard maneuver. Knee drop to the arm of Maxx and Perez in with a kick to the arm and applies the armbar again, and nails a drop-kick for two. Perez with a snapmare and sitting down abdominal stretch. Maxx is black, Gun is white, for those who want to know. Side headlock lasts forever, and Gun nails Miguel and the Border Patrol (HAHA!) take over with some double teaming. Snapmare and chin lock by Maxx and he hammers Perez. Slam and eye rakes to Perez and Maxx drops an elbow for two. Gun with a boot to the midsection followed by a snapmare, and he goes to the rear chinlock too. Perez tries getting back to a standing position, but Gun takes him down into a sleeper hold. Maxx in and he chokes because he's black. Maxx hammers away, but we get a double running headbutt. Savoldi makes the hot tag and hammers both patrolmen. Double Irish Whip is blocked, and Savoldi clotheslines Gun. Double sunset flip by Savoldi & Perez gets three on both men at 5:49. *1/2 Inoffensive match here.

 

- International Championship Match:

Koko B. Ware © Vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine:

Last time, Koko actually won a match. Audio is crapping out from the production studio as of late. Koko has an International Championship and Frankie with him. Ware's entrance is forever and gets the ring attendant to flap around like an idiot with him. I think its a title match but don't quote me. It is. Stalling. Lockup, and Valentine with a shove in the corner. Cross armbar into a wrist lock by Valentine and Ware reverses. Drop toe hold by Valentine and he does a standing STF to Koko. Knee drop to the wrapped up legs of Ware, but Ware with a thumb to the eyes breaks the hold, and Ware dances around. Knuckle Lock, and Valentine with a boot to the gut and a bionic elbow. Both men trade shots and Valentine with shoulder thrusts in the corner. Armbar by Valentine and he applies a chicken wing like hold.

 

[Commercial Break.]

 

Back and Ware Birds-Up from a hammer-lock. Hammer jammers him and elbows him in the head. Armbar by Valentine and he mounts Koko...NOT THAT WAY! Koko hammers Valentine and sandwiches the ears. Whip to the buckle and Koko posts him self bronco buster style! Valentine stomps at the champion (weird saying THAT) Chop by Valentine floors Ware and he nails a series of elbows. Ware birds-up again and nails Valentine. Bog Clothesline connects and Ware with the mounted punches in the corner, a total of five. Valentine begs him off, then rakes the eyes, trips him up, and rolls him up with feet on the ropes...for TWO! Koko with a school boy from behind gets three at 10:51!! * For a somewhat boring match. Koko wins two in a row! He's on a hot streak! Plus he retains the tags!

 

- Classic Match: Southern Heavyweight Championship Match:

"Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert © Vs. Jeff Jarrett

The Apron says Redman Wrestling Challenge. Probably another World Class match. hot Stuff does some strutting and they lock up. He hammers in the corner, but whipped to the buckle and Jarrett with a back drop, and Gilbert spills to the floor on his ass. Lock up again and some go Jeff go chants. Gilbert with a hard right, and Jarrett sends Gilbert on his ass again. Armbar by Gilbert and the crowd is hot. He rings the arm and screams at the crowd, which makes them cheer for Jeff louder. Jeff hots up, reverses it and drops a leg on Gilbert's arm and applies a front hammer lock. Whip by Gilbert, and Double J off the ropes with a sunset flip for two. Back to their feet and Jarrett with a deep arm drag, and works the hammer lock in. Drop toe hold into a front head lock by Gilbert is reversed into a wristlock, and Jarrett knees the forearm a bit. Gilbert with a cheap shot in the corner and he hammers Jejf with a series of forearms. Whip to the buckle, but Gilbert posts himself to a mega pop. Armbar drops Gilbert to his knees, and Jarrett elbows his arm and applies another variation of an arm ringer, and Gilbert screams out that he's cheating. Eddie with a low blow stops Jarrett's momentum, and he hammers on him, knocking him to the canvas. Crowd is still loud. Vertical suplex by Gilbert, but he misses his trademark running elbow drop, and he runs right into an arm drag takeover into a wrist lock.

 

[Commercial Break]

 

Both men are down as we come back for a referee ten count. Gilbert ducks a clothesline, and both men end up nailing a clothesline n each other, putting them both down again. Jarrett with a powerslam, but he takes out the referee. Missile drop-kick by Jarrett. No Referee. Hot Stuff has a chain wrapped around his wrist, but misses, and Jarrett, victory rolls him for two. He has the chain, blasts Gilbert with it, and covers for three at 9:42 and the crowd goes crazy. But wait...the referee questions Jarrett and checks him for the chain, and the referee pulls it out of his tights, and reveres the decision, giving the win to Eddie Gilbert via disqualification and the crowd goes even crazier because they are pissed off. ***1/4 Hot match. I love these classic matches.

 

- Riot Act plays to another highlight package of some bad wrestling. Same stuff as last week, but different and better music.

 

- Gino Caruso Vs. "Ace Cowboy Bob Orton (w/ Jim "The Anvil" Niedhart):

Lockup and Orton breaks clean...THEN cheap shots him and runs. Caruso with a some weak forearms, and a whip to the buckle. Snap over takedown by Caruso followed by an armbar, which Orton reverses with hair pulling. Caruso reverses into a hammer lock and they go through every sex position in the book until Orton nails him between the eyes. Orton throws Caruso outside, as the announcers are barely audible. Jim Niedhart tells Orton some advice. Orton takes down Gino but he hammers back until Orton thumbs the eyes a few times. Orton heads to the second rope for posing, Anvil is on the apron. Orton accidentally nails him with a knee lift, but he clotheslines Caruso hard, and a piledriver puts him out for three at 3:45. 1/4* Because I'm generous. Camera cut away from the pin. Niedhart enters the ring and gets in Orton's face about the mishap and shoves him a few times, and Orton wants to fight. He pretends to leave and ax-handles him from behind and drives the forearms into the neck, and atomic drops him onto the top rope, and stomps a mudhole in his ass.

 

Next Week: Bushwhackers versus The Border Patrol...AAH!!!

 

Final Analysis #1: Well, MUCH Better than last weeks show, but still, nothing terribly great. Classic match saves this from the toilet again.

 

Note: May 23, 2003 was pre-empted due to baseball, and May 30, 2003 episode is already posted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AIW Slams & Jams! (6-06-03)

 

 

- They Changed the opening somewhat, but nothing overly different, still same crap I hope we won't see from the Bushwhackers. From the card they just announced, I don't think I want to watch this week. This weeks show looks to be from somewhere in 1998-2000, which makes me cry.

 

- Precious Lucy v. Black Widow:

No! A women's wrestling match! And the chicks are ugly. Shoot me please. Kill Me. I'm begging for Mae Young now. Lucy with a headlock. The reverse armbars. Sloppy head scissors takeover by Lucy. Widow stomps on her and this sucks. I'm just going to voice my dislikes for this match for the remainder. While I'm checking thesmartmarks.com forum, this match continues. Sadly, Lucy is hot, but has a little bit of belly on her. Nasty hair throw. Cellulite City by Black Widow, and she misses a top rope knee. Lucy with the michinoku driver and a leg drop. Terrible missile drop-kick and spinning heel kick. Cross body is rolled through badly for the three count at 4:43. Thank God that's over. Just for pissing me off by putting a women's match, -***** bam, negative five, something I almost never do!

 

Trivia: Here Are the hints they give...

"I am immensely popular in Cincinnati"

"I am a former USWA Champion"

"Although some people think so, I am not into fast food."

I Don't know, and don't care, since the only clue that makes sense is the second one, and everyone and Koko B. Ware have held it.

 

Trivia Answer: Jerry "The King" Lawler. WHAT?!! Oh...I get it.

 

- They run down Steve Austin's accomplishments in wrestling. Like we all didn't know already.

 

- USWA-World Heavyweight Championship Match: (April 1990)

Terry Funk © Vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler:

Lawler throws a few punches but nothing connects. Lockup and Funk runs to the outside. This is the classic match of the week. Lockup again and Lawler hammers away on Funk. The guy standing outside looks very familiar. Funk with a hard headbutt but gets whipped into the turnbuckle. Lockup and Funk hammers Lawler in the corner and gets sent to the outside. Funk continues the beating on the outside. Funk with a DDT on the hardwood floor according to the commentary. Boot to the head of Lawler. Lawler is sent into the crowd and choked with the security rope. Lawler eats wood on a bench and Funk with a big headbutt. Scotty the Body is the man outside, and he IS familiar. He's Raven! Lawler back in the ring and he hammers on Funk. DDT on the steel chair! Funk runs outside...

 

[Commercial Break]

 

we're back and Lawler beats on Funk outside and sends him face first into the steel post. Funk is knocked onto the announce table and Lawler stomps the fruit. Lawler slams a chair on top of Funks head and chokes him with a microphone cord. Funk is sent face first into the table and sent over the top rope again by a hard right. Funk with a wooden board, but Lawler steals it and blasts it over Funk's head for two! Funk with a sleeper hold and this lasts a while. Lawler finally starts to king-up and nails a jawbreaker on Funk. Funk goes for a piledriver but its blocked, and Lawler with his piledriver and that looked great! Lawler with a second piledriver! He covers...but Lawler pulls him up, and nails a third piledriver...for two! Funk has a foot on the ropes. Lawler misses a fist drop and Funk chokes Lawler with his wrist tape. Clothesline to the referee and he sends him out. Lawler rolls up Funk but theirs no referee! The referee DQ's the referee at 14:07, awarding the match to Jerry Lawler. ** for a decent match, nut nothing too special. Funk throws chairs in the ring, and Lawler threatens to throw one back, and scares a kid! What was the point of Raven being out there? I don't know.

 

- The Patriot Vs. Tug Taylor:

Yes! The Patriot rules! This is from 1991-92. I was hoping this was the Cactus Jack versus Patriot match they were showing in the opening, but nope, it is not. The fat ass attacks from behind and hammers the Patriot. Is it me or does the referee look like Magnum T.A? Tuck slams Patriot for two. He misses a charge and Patriot clotheslines him in the corner and throws him across the ring. Big back elbow by the Patriot followed by a body slam! Taylor is at least 350 pounds. Taylor with a big slam, and he goes high but misses a splash. The Patriot to the top rope with the Patriot Missile for three at 2:06! 1/2* Because I mark for The Patriot. Pretty quick squash.

 

- Michael P.S Hayes & Steve Cox Vs. Samoan Swat Team:

Yes! Michael Hayes rules! Samoan Swat Team seems to have Buddy Roberts in their corner. This is got to be 1987. Fatu starts with Hayes, and the crowd digs him. Lockup and Hayes with a hard right and some...vulgar movements. Lockup again and Hayes with a standing side headlock and a hard right. Fatu eats Cox's boot and he hammers Fatu now. Cox with a headlock into a go-behind armbar. Hayes with a cheap shot, and Cox headbutts Fatu stupidly, so Fatu beats his ass for fun. Scoop Slam and they double team. Fatu is bleeding, so Hayes hammers him some more. Samu with a reverse crescent kick to Cox. Fatu in and he hammers Cox. Front headlock by Fatu and Fatu eventually covers for two. Crescent kick by Fatu followed by an abdominal stretch. Double headbutt to Cox and Samu hammers. The referee appears to be Pee-wee Anderson. Fatu chokes Cox while Samu stomps a mud-hole. A series of double headbutts by the heels and Fatu with a reverse chinlock. Cox with a flying cross body for two but is sent back on his ass. Vulcan nerve hold by Fatu as I think their audio crapped out. They continue the ass kicking as the audio is fixed. Cox with a sunset flip for two on Fatu. Hayes gets the hot tag and hammers on both Samoans. Double noggin knocker and Hayes with the running bulldog. DDT! Hayes covers Samu but the referee is distracted. Samu covers for three after some punishment is inflicted at 7:27. * Only because Hayes rules.

 

- Handsome Stranger Vs. Ed Robinson:

Who is Handsome Stranger? It's Repo Man's mask in 1988! Lockup and Robinson with a headlock takeover. Stranger with a big hop toss, followed by another and a big scoop slam. Diving back elbow by Stranger followed by a headlock. Armbar by the Stranger but he misses a corner charge. Stranger grunts a lot like Rick Martel. Clothesline by Robinson is returned by the stranger. Big back drop and standing drop-kicks by the Stranger. Fisherman suplex ends it at 2:08. 1/4* That was quick.

 

- Public Enemy Vs. Jim Shorts & Brian Giles:

Great more jobbers. The Public Enemy take out the jobbers easily to start, and Rocco Rock squashes Giles into the turnbuckle. Grunge with a basement drop-kick to Shorts followed by a short-arm clothesline. Shorts eats turnbuckle, but works them both over! Giles in and he hammers the Enemy, but they nail a double stroke on Giles. Shorts in and Grunge with a powerslam. Modified 3D to shorts and now Giles gets nailed with a double hip toss slam for three at 2:59. DUD. Well, that was pointless.

 

Final Thoughts #2: Another Terrible Show. The only nothing remotely good was the classic match, and that was generous, much like my other ratings. Until next week...