Calbowski Dream Match II

[Guest TheBigCalbowski]

This isn't as funny as the one I did for Nash, HHH, and Goldberg, but I hope you enjoy anyways.

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Smackdown PPV just had it's best main event in history between Rey Mysterio and Ultimo Dragon.

 

The audience stands up to file out as No Chance In Hell hits and out comes Vince McMahon. The audience members go back to their seats as Vince takes the mic.

 

Vince: I have a surprise for everyone. That last match actually wasn't the main event. I have a bonus match and this is the actual main event. I promise that everyone will be talking about this epic match up for many years to come.

 

Vince introduces the first competitor...A-TRAIN!! The crowd is quiet. Vince completely marks out for him.

 

Michael Cole: Mr. McMahon is so loud that we can't hear the crowd.

 

Vince introduces his opponent...THE BIG SHOW!! The crowd is still quiet. Vince completely marks out for him also.

 

Tazz: He's louder than the crowd again Cole.

 

Vince sits down to do commentary.

 

Vince: This is gonna be the match of the century gentlemen. I can't wait to see.

 

 

Big Show vs. A-Train

 

Bell rings. The crowd is quiet. Vince keeps his eyes locked on A-Train and Big Show. He completely marks out while commentating. Big Show starts the match in control hitting A-Train with all his power moves. The crowd gets on their feet and begin filing out. Vince is still marking out while watching the match move for move.

 

Michael Cole: THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET!

 

Vince: SHUT UP MICHAEL!! I'M GONNA CALL THIS MATCH!! THIS IS GONNA BE THE BIGGEST AND GREATEST MATCH IN PPV HISTORY!!

 

A-Train takes the offensive while the crowd continues to file out. Tazz looks around and sees that the arena has emptied out.

 

Big Show hits the chokeslam on A-Train.

 

Vince: CHOKESLAM!!

 

Big Show covers and gets the victory.

 

Vince: THAT WAS THE GREATEST MATCH IN WWE HISTORY!!

 

Vince stands up marking out. Tazz glances at Vince and notices their's a wet spot on his pants. He gets in the ring and raises Big Show's hand. Both Show and Vince look around at the completely empty arena.

 

Vince: What happened? Where did everybody go? I know they all wanted to see this match. What the hell is this?

 

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Next night on Raw

Vince marches to the ring following a great main event match between The Hurricane and Chris Jericho.

 

Vince: Tonight, there will be a Smackdown promotional match as a special bonus to all of you. The Big Show will face the A-Train in a rematch from last night's Smackdown PPV.

 

The crowd stands up and begins to file out.

 

Vince: WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE GOING? YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS A REMATCH FROM TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE WWE SUPERSTARS!!

 

Crowd continues to file out.

 

Vince: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LEAVING? IT'S A-TRAIN AND BIG SHOW DAMMIT!! YOU'LL MISS OUT ON AN EPIC BATTLE!!

 

Arena empties out. Vince looks stunned.

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Smackdown kicks off to Vince McMahon coming to the ring.

 

Vince: OK NOW YOU PEOPLE ARE AWARE THAT IF YOU EXIT THE ARENA, YOU WON'T BE PERMITTED BACK IN. WELL NOW YOU WILL ALL WATCH THIS EPIC ENCOUNTER BETWEEN THE BIG SHOW AND A-TRAIN IN ORDER TO WATCH THE REST OF THE SHOW.

 

Crowd stands up and begins to file out.

 

Vince: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?? YOU SHOULD ALL BE HAPPY THAT I ALLOW YOU TO WATCH TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE SUPERSTARS DUKE IT OUT!!

 

Crowd continues to file out.

 

Vince: Fine then, I won't let you watch them ever again because I HATE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!! SEND OUT REY MYSTERIO AND JAMIE NOBLE!! IF YOU PEOPLE ARE GONNA WALK OUT ON YOUR FAVORITE SUPERSTARS, THEN YOU ONLY DESERVE TO WATCH CRUISERWEIGHT MATCHES!!

 

Crowd starts returning to their seats. Vince looks stunned and wonders why would anyone rather watch cruiserweights over Big Show and A-Train.