Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Still, you used a posting icon. Show this thread to whomever it is you talk to tomorrow, as it is irrefutable proof of your homosexuality.
Guest Flyboy Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 He could just proclaim his love for you, EK.
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 What about me, Danny? What about our secret tryst in the mountains of North Carolina?
Guest Flyboy Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Pfft. Danny rode up here to Lubbock before he moved from Abilene. Yep. I'm jailbait.
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Kinetic and I made sweet, sweet love whilst listening to Elvis Costello. And you can still call me Inc, Flyboy.
Guest Flyboy Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Kinetic (what I called him during our love making) and I had a wonderful shower together AND listened to Bob Dylan. It was a sight to see. If I can ever figure this technology oyt, it will be on Kazaa if that's okay with Kinetic.
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Kinetic and I made sweet, sweet love whilst listening to Elvis Costello. Kinetic (what I called him during our love making) and I had a wonderful shower together AND listened to Bob Dylan. It was a sight to see. If I can ever figure this technology oyt, it will be on Kazaa if that's okay with Kinetic. (sniffle) ... Danny, are these stories true? I thought we were special!
Guest Kinetic Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Shut up, all of you. I figured out a way to get out of the military without faking homosexuality. I'll simply jump off the roof and land on my head. No, actually, I just have to write a letter to the commanding officer at the recruiting station and request a separation due to my being a conscientious objector. They're legally required to grant me that separation. So, seriously, Inc and Kotz, cut it out. And Flyboy...you weren't supposed to tell anybody!
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Oh. Fine. Keep it under wraps if you want, but I'll always have the memories... ("Endless Love" starts playing) (sings along and cries)
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 No, actually, I just have to write a letter to the commanding officer at the recruiting station and request a separation due to my being a conscientious objector. They're legally required to grant me that separation. What does that mean? AND I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!
Guest Kinetic Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 I hate to say it, Inc, but you were just another ho. What's your ethnic background, anyway? I need to mark it on my Big Map of Sexual Conquests.
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Half-Italian, with a blend of Jew and WASP making up the other half. And you haven't answered my "conscientious objector" question, you heartless bastard.
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 I'm 25% Irish, 25% Italian, 25% Chinese, and 25% everything else in the northern hemisphere. I've got it all, Danny hun!
Guest Ravenbomb Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 lets not forget the ever-elusive Adult Baby fetish, where one of the people put on a diaper and act like a baby.
Guest IDrinkRatsMilk Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 I was born of the fiery pits of Hell. Fuck me and you're not just getting an orgasm, you're getting a litter of jackals in nine months. Even if you're a dude. Something tells me I should lay off the drugs...
Guest The Amazing Rando Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Umm...I was born in Western Maryland.....so you'll get really conversative hicks with drinking problems, trailers, and Methodist upbringings...and shriners...LOTS of shriners...
Guest Kinetic Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 A conscientious objector is someone who is opposed to something deeply...in this case, war. Because we're about to go to war with Iraq, my conscientious objecting is undesirable for military service. They're required to let me go, anyway. I'm so glad I looked this stuff up.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 You're getting out then? Atta boy. Anyway, regarding fetishes, my personal favorites are rather tame by most standards. Candle wax, and tattoos. Good god, tattoos on women is the sexiest thing in the universe. I dig the whole smoking fetish, too.
Guest Kinetic Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Right, so, I get out of the military based on nothing more than a desire not to serve and an offer from an ex-girlfriend that I haven't seen in three years. You know where I am now? Poor ass broke and about to get kicked the fuck out of my grandparents' house. I'll have a grand total of $1,100 to my name once my tax return comes through, which will be the starting point on which I'll need to support myself completely. I can't afford to eat. Y'all motherfuckers have steered me wrong!
Guest Kinetic Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Oh, and shit...Internet? Internet?! I can't afford to eat! I'm poor-ass motherfucking broke. I ain't got shit. I've killed Kinetic.
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Hmm, we're going to have to figure out a way to exchange information for the meeting then.
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 You're depressing me here, man.
Guest Kinetic Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 How do you think I feel? Gah...I'll be all right. I just need to figure out a way to win the lottery.
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Remember when things didn't suck? Yeah.
Guest Kinetic Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 I'm doing what I always do when the prospect of being self-sufficient arises: I'm panicking. That's okay. I just need to work through it. I mean, lots of people are poor for a little while. I'm a starving artist. Yes! I'm a starving artist!
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 There you go. And as I pointed out in NHB, at least you won't be getting blown up in a desert on the other side of the world. Life may be getting you down now, but remember: ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIIIIIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!
Guest evenflowDDT Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Hey... I was the first person to acknowledge Kinetic as attractive... where was I? Sigh. Also, I thought being a conscientious objector was hard, and they had to like interview all these people that know you and stuff, and in your essay you can't include political propaganda? Maybe I'm wrong, and glad I am, because I would'vec worried about you in the military. Also, $1100 in your bank account? More than me... then agan I'm a college student, I'm supposed to starve. Go back to school? Maybe you can pick up some grants/loans/something.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 LIFE OF BRIAN~! Better than The Holy Grail... Being poor sucks ass for a bit, then you eventually get numb to it, kind of like when shoveling snow. My advice is to fleece the government, go to community college (re: Extra High School) if you can't afford a real college, just so you're doing something. Phelbotomy's a pretty good field to go into when floundering in Ramen Noodles, because it's simple shit, and pays decent enough to pay the rent.
Guest Flyboy Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Phelbotomy's a pretty good field to go into when floundering in Ramen Noodles, because it's simple shit, and pays decent enough to pay the rent. AoA knows his shit. That's what my mother did about a month ago, and now she has a job extracting blood as she works her way through EMT school.
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