OAOAST IntenseZone - 6/16/03

[Guest ShooterJay]

~The camera opens up to Sonic Youth pacing back & forth in the Featured Attraction lockerroom. Janet is seated, clad in her new harlequin outfit and holding a gun with a flag that reads "click" when it pops out. Lauren is busy adjusting her bra and Jay's seated with Title slung over his shoulder, watching Sonic go back and forth.~

 

Jay: Look, will you just chill out.

 

~Sonic pauses and stares at Shooter~

 

Sonic: Look, tonight's our Tag Title match. Tonight, we have the chance to become Tag Team champions and you my friend, get to become a double champ...

 

Jay: TRIPLE champ.

 

Sonic: Triple champ, sorry. I'm fully aware that you're fighting 3 matches tonight, however I figure we'll have a good chance to win cause you got stamina right?

 

Jay: Damn right. You should be on the lookout for Vitamin though man, last week wasn't pretty.

 

Sonic: Look, I'll deal with my own business when it comes forth. Right now, we should be focused on the match tonight or matches, in your case.

 

~Shooter gets up and walks up, face to face with Sonic. Janet glances up as Lauren peers over her shoulder~

 

Jay: Don't talk to me about focus. Seems last week, I needed to give you some pointers in that department.

 

Sonic: Yeah and the lesson's been learned Mr. Worry about Vitamin.

 

Jay: Hey man, I'm just trying to cover your back.

 

Sonic: I appreciate the concern, tonight however, I have more important things to worry about then Vitamin trying to sneak attack me again

Maybe you should think back to what you said last week and get focused. You see, tonight is our night.

 

Jay: You know it. Tonight, Featured Attraction gets the accolades we so richly deserve.

 

~Jay pats his North American Title~

 

Sonic: You don't want to feel the pain...

 

Jay: Pain for fame my man, pain for fame...

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

*LIGHTS! CAMERA! PYRO! MUSIC! FANCY GRAPHICS FLYING EVERYWHERE! IT MUST BE INTENSEZONE!*

 

JR: Welcome everyone to the only show on Monday Nights worth your time! I'm Jim Ross, alongside Jesse Ventura, and as the summer heats up, so does IntenseZone!

 

Jesse: And one man who's definitely feeling the heat tonight is our North American champion, the Shooter, Jay Darring! He runs the gauntlet tonight!

 

JR: He makes his mandatory North American title defense against the newest member of the Lightning Crew, Vitamin X, a man who is determined to make an impact. He also has accepted Puerto Rican Lightning's challenge for a hardcore street fight for the Puerto Rican title. Will we see a title unification tonight?

 

Jesse: Yeah, for PRL.

 

JR: And finally, Featured Attraction makes a grab for glory, literally, in a ladder match for the OAOAST Tag Team Titles, held by Ed and Stephen of the Trinity.

 

Jesse: From the frying pan to the fire, literally. Ask Jay if those burn scars have healed yet. 0-3 tonight, I can feel it.

 

JR: And in a match that has major ramifications in the North American title scene, OAOAST's the Blurricane takes on Reject. They meet Orion for the F13 title at Great Angle Bash, will he get involved?

 

Jesse: I don't doubt it JR, the champ has something up his sleeve.

 

JR: Plus the Trinity and Los Infernales continue their wars, STAY TUNED!

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

Before JR can say anything else, the AngleTron lights up with Puerto Rican Lightning's face on it. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes to another image of PRL, this time of him holding the Puerto Rican Championship after a win. The crowd continues booing waiting for PRL to show up. As the AngleTron continues showing image after image of PRL, music is being played in the background. The music is slow and comatose. It's easy to listen to as violins play throughout. A man whispers the word "Chance" throughout as a heavy metal guitar begins to play. On the AngleTron, the image of PRL changes to an image of a choked up PRL. Then an angry PRL. Then a sad PRL. Finally, another smiling image, but this time in a more psycotic matter. The AngleTron switches to a Puerto Rican flag with, in big blocky letters, the words LIGHTNING CREW appear. A lightning bolt hits the stage and fog and pyro fire up. The crowd boos again as "No Chance In Hell" starts up.

 

*No Chance (No Chance), that's what ya got (Ha, Ha, Ha. Yeah).*

 

*The AngleTron has a grey background with Puerto Rican Lightning's face etched into it. At the bottom right hand corner of the screen is a Puerto Rican flag. On the left side of the screen, appears the words "PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING" in big white blocky letters. On the right side of the screen is a video of Puerto Rican Lightning sneering at the camera. Then giving The Mad Cappa the P.R. Nightmare. Then raising the Puerto Rican Championship. Then yelling at the camera. Then smiling.*

 

*We're up against no machine too strong (too strong), pussy politcians buying souls for us are....*

*The AngleTron switches again to a grey background. Except this time, Vitamin X's face is etched into it. On the bottom right hand corner of the screen is a Cuban flag. On the left side of the screen, appears the words "VITAMIN X" in big white blocky letters. On the right side of the screen is a video of Vitamin X coming to the ring. Then using the stun taser on Mad Cappa. Then carving an X on Sonic Youth's chest. Then smiling an evil grin at the camera. Then sneering at the camera.*

 

*Puppets! (Puppets). But will find their place in line (in line)*

 

*Once again, the AngleTron switches to a grey background. Now, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's face is etched into it. On the bottom right hand corner of the screen is a Puerto Rican flag. On the left side of the screen, appears the words "MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ" in big white blocky letters. On the right side of the screen is a video of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez coming to the ring with Puerto Rican Lightning. Then stripping. Then some more stripping. Then leering at the camera in a seductive manner. Then blowing a kiss at the camera.*

 

*But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz...it's just a manner of time, cuz you got...*

*The AngleTron switches to a grey background again. This time for Mr. Boriuca's face etched into it. On the bottom right hand corner of the screen is a Mexican flag. On the left side of the screen, appears the words "MR. BORICUA" in big white blocky letters. On the right side of the screen is a video of Mr. Boricua grunting at the camera. Then chokeslamming The Mad Cappa. Then yelling. Then jawing at the camera. Then yelling again.*

 

*No Chance (You got no chance)

No Chance In Hell!!!*

*Finally, from the fog and smoke, comes the Lightning Crew. The crowd boos each and every member. First comes Mr. Boricua, then Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, then Puerto Rican Lightning, and finally Vitamin X, wearing a Lightning Crew T-Shirt and sunglasses and feeding off the boos of the crowd. PRL starts talking to Vitamin X as they walk to the ring.

 

*You got...NO CHANCE!!! (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah).

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! (No Chance In Hell)*

 

JR: Well, here they are. One of IntenseZone's most powerful stables, The Lightning Crew!

 

Jesse: Don't they all look great? Mr. Boricua, strong as usual. PRL, confident as usual. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, hot as usual. And the NEWEST member of the 'Crew, Vitamin X, better than ever!

 

JR: I still am in shock from what The Lightning Crew did to Mad Cappa three weeks ago on IntenseZone.

 

Jesse: He deserved Jim Ross! He deserved it!

 

*You got NO CHANCE (Got No Chance)...

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!*

 

*The Lightning Crew finally walk to the ring. Each member happier than usual with PRL beaming the most. He sneers at the fans before heading into the ring.*

*You got...NO CHANCE!

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!!*

 

*The Lightning Crew are in the ring with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua heading to the turnbuckles. Puerto Rican Lightning does the HBK pose with Vitamin X raising his fist behind him and pyro goes off. The crowd pops for the pyro but boo him as Puerto Rican Lightning heads to a turnbuckle and raises the Puerto Rican Championship proudly.*

 

*Come on, Come on, come and get it. Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it. Come on! (Come on!)*

 

*Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the outside to grab a microphone and heads into the ring. "No Chance In Hell" dies down as Puerto Rican Lightning tries to begin to speak. But before he can, the crowd is on him big time. They begin booing louder than usual and the "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" chants begin again. Everytime PRL tries to speak, the chants get louder and louder. Instead of being annoyed, Lightning continues smiling. He isn't letting the chants affect him tonight.*

 

Jim Ross: The fans aren't too apperciate of PRL especially after what he did to Mad Cappa.

 

Jesse: These fans should be ashamed of themselves. To boo someone as loving and caring and as great as PRL. It's disgusting and descipable.

 

JR: The fans have a right to boo him.

 

Jesse: No they don't.

 

JR: And why not?

 

Jesse: Because I say so.

 

*The boos continue as Puerto Rican Lightning tries to speak. Finally, the fans calm down enough for him to talk.*

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Don't bother trying to get under my skin. It ain't going to work tonight, because I FEEL GREAT!!!

 

*The crowd boos. Some begin chanting "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!"

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Chant "Mad Cappa" all you want. He is NOT GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT! As a matter of fact, he may never wrestle again, thanks to ME, Puerto Rican Lightning! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!

 

JR: Just disgusting. Just wretched behaviour. How can he be so proud of what he did to that young kid?

 

Jesse: Way to go, PRL! That's how a champion should be!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: For the first time in my career, I am on a roll. And to think it all started at the day I got here. Let me do a little recap for you: First, I went to San Juan, Puerto Rico and competed in a GRUELING tournament where I came up victorious and became the Puerto Rican Champion.

 

*The crowd boos PRL's obvious lies.*

 

JR: He got the belt at a pawn shop!

 

PRL: Then, at AngleMania II, the BIGGEST event in the OaOasT calender, and what some say, is the best OaOasT event EVER, thanks to ME ofcourse, infront of thousands in the Saddle Dome, I defeated BOTH The Mad Cappa and Naz Mistry and retired Naz Mistry in the process!

 

*The crowd boos PRL's obvious lies again.*

 

Lightning: And then, 2 weeks ago, on IntenseZone, I defeated that stupid superhero wannabe, Blurricane, to become #1 Contender for the OaOasT North American Championship!

 

*The crowd boos again.*

 

Jesse: Can't deny that, JR.

 

JR: He won it in controversial circumstances.

 

Jesse: No he didn't! PRL is better than Blurricane! End of story.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: BUT! The biggest achievement. The best moment of my OaOasT. My proudest moment took place on May 27, 2003 on IntenseZone. Because it was then, it was in the MAIN EVENT, for the Puerto Rican Championship, that I FINALLY, FINALLY SHUT THAT NO GOOD, NO TALENT, MAD CAPPA ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!

 

*The crowd boos the loudest because of this. Chants of "Asshole! Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!" run throughout the arena along with chants of "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!" PRL just smiles.*

 

Lightning: With a P.R. Nightmare, a couple of chairshots, a ring bell, and ofcourse, a stun taser, I ENDED MAD CAPPA'S CAREER 1-2-3!!!

 

*The crowd boos. The camera shows Vitamin X with the stun taser in his hand. He waves it around carelessly.*

Puerto Rican: Mad Cappa, I am sure you are in your hospital bed right now, bandaged from head to toe, wishing you were here right now wanting to choke me out. Well, "Friend", I hate to be childish but.. HA! HA! You can't get me! HAHAHAHA!!!!

 

(PRL stops smiling and looks right at the camera) But if I could be serious for a moment. Mad Cappa, I will you SOME credit. You weren't as weak as I thought you were. But in the end, you ended up like alot of PRL oppoents, on the mat, back first, staring at the man who beat you to a bloody pulp! And that man's name is PUERTO....RICAN....LIGHTNING!!!!

 

*The crowd boos again. They continue booing and chant "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL sneers at the crowd.*

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: But, that night wasn't just special for Mad Cappa's retirement. I did have help that night and it was from the man, who has been HELD BACK! A man, who hasn't gotten what he deserved! A man, who is ALMOST as good as I AM. A man who is WORTHY enough to join The Lightning Crew! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up, for the one man, who is capable of being almost as good as me, VITAMIN X!!! Yo, X! Speak to these people!

 

*The crowd boos X. He smiles. X dressed in black jeans, a leather jacket, and a Lightning Crew T-Shirt gets the mic from PRL and looks at the crowd. He smiles as the crowd chants "X Sucks! X Sucks! X Sucks! X Sucks!" A sign in the crowd saids "X SUXS!!!"*

 

JR: The man responsible for the stun taser shot on Mad Cappa!

 

Jesse: SHHH! He's going to speak.

 

X: Whoa, whoa whoa, WHOA. I am feeling way too much negative energy from this crowd.

 

*Crowd boos even louder.*

 

X: Are they saying BOO or BRUUUUCE?

 

PRL(interrupting): Your name's not Bruce.

 

X: Well that's just not right then! Listen, you people are surely booing us because you just don't know how to CHANT for us. Right? Let me show you how it is done. VITA-MIN X! VITA-MIN X! Like that? You get me?

 

*A couple people in the crowd, most likely smarks, begin chanting along while the rest of it continue to boo. Some begin chanting "X Sucks! X Sucks! X Sucks! X Sucks!"*

 

X: No, no, no.. Listen. I guess I'm here today to explain why I came here to join The Lightning Crew. By the way, you chant for us by using the initials of our hallowed team's name. Which are, for the uneducated amongst you...of which I see quite a few...T...L...C....So try that while I continue with this supposed explanation.

 

*X is becoming visibly frustrated with the crowd's heat, and pauses for a quick second.*

 

Jesse: These fans are barbarians, Jim Ross.

 

JR: The only barbarians I see here are those four standing the ring.

 

Jesse: Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is a barbarian?

 

JR: No, she's a jezebel.

 

Jesse: Enough with the cliches, Jim Ross!

 

X: Whatever. Do you realize, PRL, that whatever explanation I give for these freakin dolts will go over their heads anyways?Whatever explanation I give will be meaningless since it's none of their own goddamned business anyways. The only thing these people need to know are that I found myself in a position where change needed to be made. I actually LOST a match for goodness sakes!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! I DON'T...LOSE. I'm a not a...LOSER. That's absolutely sickening as well as mind-boggling, after all I am the cure for OAOAST, and me losing would make that claim hypocritical. Which I'm not, by the way.

 

*Some people in the crowd begin chanting for Sonic Youth.*

 

X: HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sonic Youth, that guy? Please. Don't even get me started on how he OBVIOUSLY couldn't beat me and had to resort to some cheap tactics to do so. As I just previously stated, Vitamin X...does not...LOSE. And quite frankly, this show has gotten a lot more boring without me! I mean, the Trinity? SONIC YOUTH AND SHOOTER JAY, as..

.

*Vitamin X pauses to chuckle.*

 

X: THE FEATURED ATTRACTION?!?! If they're the Featured Attraction, then all these people just completely

wasted their money! But then again, they don't look like they care too much about wasting their money, since if they did they would have already learned how to cheer for us, The Lightning Crew. Come on, we've got your future North American Champion here in Puerto Rican Lightning, a future breakout star, and YOUR symbol of hope in your meaningless lives, ME, Vitamin X..A hot latina in Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, (we love ya baby), and umm..Mr. Boricua, everybody!! You're a good guy, really man, you are. So with that said, I give your attention back to Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

*The crowd boos. Vitamin X hands the microphone back to Puerto Rican Lightning.*

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Thanks X. But for now on, you will refer to me as BOSS. X, you are the missing ingredient to the Lightning Crew, and you have proven yourself worthy to us.

 

*X smiles.*

 

PRL: But on to tonight. Shooter Jay, you got yourself a shot at my Puerto Rican Championship in a Hardcore Street Fight. Now, in this match, ANYTHING goes. Let me get that through your head now. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. I hope you know exactly what you're getting yourself into, because I will not hold back. When we step in the ring, you will be Mad Cappa. And, just like Mad Cappa, I will break every bone in your body! I WILL SHOW NO MERCY ON YOU To the point that maybe you won't be able to defend the North American Title against me at the Great Angle Bash! Jay, you take this buisness seriously, and I can respect that. What I don't respect is someone who thinks he's better than me! And Jay, because of that, you WILL regret the day you EVER cross me! Shooter Jay Darring, prepare to suffer a P.R. Nightmare! WATCH OUT FOR THE LIGHTNING STRIKES because, just like Mad Cappa, YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN AFTER THIS MATCH!!!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Now hit *our* music!

 

*"Cloud Connected" by In Flames hits over the PA instead, as a smug-looking Jay Darring, new music and all, appears on the apron.*

 

JAY:

Could you have possibly eaten up MORE air time on this show? You know PRL, since my arrival here in OAOAST, I've been forced to sit through your mindless drivel for what seems like eons, while time and time again you FAIL to accomplish anything on your own. And the worst thing you can do is fail to impress me, ask your mute Mexican friend Bernardo over there. And then, you had to amplify your troubles and piss me off, by eliminating by very best friend here, Mad Cappa, who deep down, you know is just *that* much better than you.

 

X:

Hey, you stole my phrase!

 

JAY:

I'll get to you in one second, Chester the Molester. So, PRL, if you think you can outbrawl a former Big Japan Junior Heavyweight Champion, the fight is on, and just like last time, you'll have to deal with the Harsh Reality that you CAN'T BEAT ME! And as for you X, my sexually frustrated friend, oh man oh man, are you in trouble tonight for what you did to Sonic Youth. No matter which way you slice it, YOU LOST! Want to make an impact so bad? How about we have our North American title match RIGHT NOW!

 

*SONIC YOUTH HAS COME OUT OF THE CROWD, WITH A KENDO STICK, WAILING AWAY ON PRL AND BORICUA. The dastardly faction clear the ring, leaving Vitamin X alone. Jay rushes the ring, and he and X start trading blows!*

 

JR: BY GAWD THE FIGHT IS ON, WE'RE CUTTING TO A COMMERCIAL, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CHANGING THE CHANNEL!

 

*commercial*

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

VITAMIN X VS. JAY DARRING- NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

 

Back from commercial with Darring getting an early advantage, sweeping X off his feet and trying to finish him off early with the Harsh Reality, but X is able to roll free and out of the ring. Darring runs to the ropes but the ref stops him, allowing Vitamin X time to show off his skills at impersonating the champ, much to the disgust of some fans.

 

JR: Vitamin X is adapting well to the surprise start of the match, he's very well prepared and ready to take that title!

 

Jesse: X is NOT impressed by our supposed North American champion, and I don't blame him.

 

X looks to climb back in but Darring catches him with a knee to the chest and then follows up with a quick baseball slide that sends X into the guardrail. Darring picks X up and tries to toss him back in the ring, but it is reversed and Darring hits the apron hard before being tossed in. X climbs up on the apron and hits a picturesque springboard splash to take the champ down. Quick cover…

1….Quick kickout by Darring.

 

JR: Vitamin X is matching intensity with intensity, this is the most focused I have ever seen him!

 

X continues on the attack, starting to work over the neck of Darring. X lifts him up and hits a quick snap DDT before dropping a knee across the back of Darring’s head. Another cover…

1…

2….Kickout!

 

Jesse: Smart psychology by the challenger, get the champion woozy, break his concentration, and the title will be yours. I love this kid, he's rapidly becoming my favorite wrestler.

 

JR: Even more than yourself?

 

Jesse: Let's not get crazy JR.

 

X kicks Darring stiff in the face and looks to finish off the champ early, going for an STF, but Darring is too close to the ropes and is able to break the submission. X gives Darring another quick kick to the head before picking him up. He goes for a snap suplex but the champ blocks. Another attempt is blocked as Darring is able to counter with a suplex of his own.

 

JR: This is quite possibly the most impressive technical match we've seen for the North American title, tons of back and forth action.

 

Jesse: I guarantee you by the end, Vitamin X will prove he is THAT much better than Jay Darring.

 

 

Darring quickly puts his knee across the back of X’s neck and locks in a chinlock, VX is in pain but after the suplex he is too close to the ropes and is able to grab them to break it up. Darring doesn’t look happy. The champ pulls X to the middle of the ring and hits a quick series of elbow drops to the back of the head, making sure VX doesn’t reach his feet. A final jumping elbow and Darring goes for a cover…

1…

2…

 

JR: Now THAT's intensity by the North American champion, a testament to his extensive training!

 

Kickout by the challenger. Darring begins to unleash his frustration with quick kicks to X’s head and neck, which X tries unsuccessfully to block before rolling out of the ring. Darring goes for another baseball slide but X somehow sees it coming and moves out of the way, causing Darring to slide out of the ring and fall to his back.

 

Jesse: HAHA, shame on you Jay, for trying the same move with a ring general like Vitamin X!

 

 

X climbs up to the apron and falls out with a legdrop to the back of Jay’s head. The crowd voices their disapproval and begins an “X Sucks” chant, which X plays up by once again mocking Darring’s hand signals while clutching his head and continuing his assault on the champ with hard kicks to the back of the head. X picks up the champ and tosses him into the ring and rolls in right after him.

 

Jesse: X's plan is WORKING! HAHA!

 

Darring is clutching his head as X looks to be setting up for a boston crab. X rolls Darring over and has him locked in, but Darring is under the bottom rope so the hold is broken.

 

Jesse: Don't get frustrated X! You're so close!

 

JR: What happens if X does win the title? How will this affect his relationship to PRL?

 

Jesse: He'll hand over the belt like a good employee should.

 

JR: Yeah, right.

 

X seems reasonably pissed off and shows the crowd that they are number one as the chants continue to echo around the building. X picks up the champ and looks to the corner. He places Darring on the top rope and climbs up, looking for a superplex. Darring BLOCKS~! X tries again! BLOCKED AGAIN~! Darring powers out and throws an elbow into the side of the challenger’s head, doubling him over.

 

JR: Devastating series of reversals by the North American champion.

 

Darring hooks the arms and climbs to the top and falls over the top and onto the apron, bringing X’s head down right into the top turnbuckle. The crowd explodes as X tumbles backwards and falls onto his face, almost unconscious.

 

JR: BY GAWD, WHAT A MOVE BY THE CHAMPION, I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT IN MY LIFE!

 

Darring signals to the roaring crowd and unleashs a HARSH REALITY on Vitamin X! Jay is SCREAMING: "TAP, TAP TAP!"

 

The crowd joins in, "TAP, TAP TAP!"

 

JR: THIS MATCH COULD BE OVER!

 

Jesse: NOOO, HANG ON!

 

He taps out!

 

Ring Announcer: Your winner of the match, and STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, JAY DARRING!

 

Jesse: DAMMIT

 

JR: ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO, GET 'EM CHAMP! PROVE YOU ARE THE PRIME TIME PLAYER ON IZ!

 

*Jay Darring leaves the ring, belt in hand, holding up two fingers as he leaves the ring, and we cut to commercial*

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

(A shot of the parking area of the arena is shown. It is twilight outside and a small buzzing noise is heard. A security guard looks around confused)

 

GUARD

What the hell is that noise?

 

(Suddenly a Moped comes into view. The rider is wearing a big helmet with tinted visor so we cannot see who it is. The moped pulls into the arena and comes to a stop. The driver pulls off the helmet to reveal.......THE BLURRICANE!)

 

BLURRICANE

Holy Smokes~! An officer of the law! Good evening Citizen. Would you be kind enough to make sure no vile villain steals my Blurry-cycle?

 

(The guard looks confused as Blurricane hands him his helmet)

 

BLURRICANE

Thank you good sir! (Gives the guard a Hokey Thumbs Up)

(As Blurricane walks away a shadowy figure appears in the background wearing a motorcycle helmet and long black trenchcoat. There are no distinguishing characteristics about the person. The figure looks in the direction that Blurricane walked and rubs his hands together evil-like!)

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

JR: Ladies and gentlemen, we have just gotten word through our fearless leader Damian Gonzalez...

 

Jesse: Taking a break from his Hollywood orgies is he?

 

JR: That despite the North American title match already taking place, the North American division must be showcased in the Main Event, so tonight Reject and Blurricane have a chance to shine in the spotlight. What a tremendous opportunity for these upcoming and talented competitors!

 

Cue: By_Myslf by Linkin Park

 

JR: HOLD ON, BUSINESS IS JUST ABOUT TO PICK UP!

 

he electronic sounds echo through the arena before the bass kicks in. SpiderPoet emerges from the back in full costume and pauses on the stage as the music dies out. When the lyrics and music kicks back in, he begins making his way down to the ring. He walks with purpose, his form fitting costume combined with his swagger making him look for all the world like a red and blue knight of some kind. There is an honor and a dignity to how he carries himself now, as opposed to the slouch that kept him hunched over when around Stephen Joseph.

 

He slides into the ring and looks around as the crowd pops for him. It’s something he’s still getting used to, but it doesn’t take much to figure out that he’s smiling under the mask. Poet walks to the ropes and takes a mic from the ring announcer as the music dies down.

 

SP

I’m out here tonight because I owe someone something. Someone that has followed me into hell and who has silently stood at my side no matter where I’ve gone. He may have gotten caught up in the same unsavory things that I have, but he’s been a brother to me. My life has kind of overshadowed him, I think, and that’s not right.. I want him to come out here now because I have a favor to ask of him.

 

. . . Dandy, would you join me in the ring?

 

(Poet pauses and waits, watching the entrance as the crowd wonders what’s going on. After several long seconds, a bell rings out.)

 

DONG

 

 

DONG

 

 

 

DONG

 

 

Cue: Hell’s Bell’s by AC/DC

 

(As the guitar starts, El Dandy emerges from behind the curtain, making his way down towards the ring. He seems a little curious but unsure about what his partner is up to, but he meets Poet in the ring easily and the two stand face to face. Poet has already retrieved another mic from an official outside and he hands it to Dandy. He waits a moment, staring his partner in the eye, before speaking.)

 

SP

Thank you. (Crowd pops. SP turns and starts pacing as he talks, using his free hand to cut through the air, animatedly making his points) Thank you for standing with me, even at the side of a madman. Thank you for entering the cell with me at AngleMania. Thank you for not giving up, even when we were both in the throes of madness with the Trinity. But most of all, thank you for being my friend. My brother.

 

Dandy

(Silent. But his eyes are respectful and his chin held high, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.)

 

SP

We’ve been through wars together. There’s no denying it. Stairway to Oblivion, Tag Tables Elimination. So many times have we walked through the fire. And now, our careers have started to pull their separate ways, and we’ve discussed following that pull. (Crowd boos). But I have a request of you.

 

Dandy

(Nods for SP to continue)

 

SP

In a couple of weeks, I’m going to step into Hell. Three stages of it. Man to man, barbed wire ropes, and the Cell. A monstrous concoction of a match, but one that must happen, to determine once and for all whether we are to continue as a team. That has to happen so someone will stand against Stephen Joseph and his minions. And . . . I’d like you to take the ride with me, one more time. I want someone fair, but someone I can trust wearing the stripes while I’m in there. Referee the match, my brother. If I lose the titles, we’ll go our separate ways.

 

Dandy

(Seems to mull it over for a few moments. He looks to the crowd, who are showing thumbs up and screaming for him to accept. Finally, he raises the mic to his mouth and with a nod says) Yes.

 

(The crowd pops huge as Poet and Dandy shake hands)

 

 

(DARKNESS~!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(The lights come back up to reveal a bewildered El Dandy looking around an otherwise empty ring, SpiderPoet having disappeared. Fade out as Dandy looks around, angry, before turning back towards the stage . . . )

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

Jesse: ...what the hell?

 

JR: We had just seen a truly touching sign of unity between the Infernales, they appeared to be stronger than ever, but...Poet disappeared!

 

Jesse: Let's see if we can find him in the back. Cambot, give me Rocket Number Nine!

 

JR: What?

 

Jesse: Mystery Science Theater JR, all the cool people watch it.

 

JR: Whatever, anybody find anything backstage?

 

(Cut to the back, but we don't find SpiderPoet...)

 

(Blurricane is seen backstage again when he comes across a little boy and his father. The boy is crying)

 

BLURRICANE

What's wrong little junior citizen?

 

FATHER

What the hell is wrong with you? Is this some sort of sick joke?

 

BLURRICANE

........ummm......what do you mean?

 

FATHER

A few minutes ago you come in here and steal his candy and tell him to get lost...now you act like you're his friend!?

 

BLURRICANE (Looking quite Flabbergasted~!!)

What?? I just got here a few minutes ago and I've been in the dressing room. Sir you must be mistaken. I stand for truth, justice, and peace.

 

(The father hauls off and decks Blurricane)

FATHER

You're no hero! You're a fraud! Come on son.

 

(Blurricane holds his face as he looks confused. Blurricane dusts himself off and walks away sad. As he walks away someone can be seen lurking in the shadows, but we cannot see who it is. He is heard laughing.)

 

JR: There's an imposter Blurricane running around!

 

Jesse: Nah, I bet Blurricane's just a schizo, wouldn't surprise me.

 

JR: Will you stop?!

 

*commercial*

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

(Open the shot on El Dandy as he’s walking down a long cooridoor, looking PISSED. The sound of shuffling feet behind him causes him to pause and turn, and BLACK WIDOW~! Runs up to him!)

 

Widow

(skidding to a halt) I saw what happened from the hotel room. I got here as fast as I could, have you found him?

 

Dandy

(Shakes head) No. But I will.

 

Widow

I’ll stay with you. Help.

 

Dandy

You should go back to the room. Too much shite here.

 

Widow

(Shakes head) He’d tear through hell to find me . . . how can I not do the same?

 

Dandy

(Considers it for a second, looking as if he’s trying to cook up some excuse. Finally, he frows and nods before continuing his stride.)

 

The two round a corner, where two security guards, a skinny one and a fat one, stop them. The fat one reaches up and puts a hand against Dandy’s shoulder to halt him.

 

Dandy

(Looks at the hand and back to the guard) I’d move that if you want to keep it.

 

Fat Guard

I’m sorry. Nobody is allowed on this hall.

 

Widow

Why?

 

Skinny Guard

Special guests of Mister Joseph.

 

Dandy

Who. (A command, not a request by the tone of his voice)

 

Fat Guard

I cant – urk!

 

Dandy’s hand lashes out, and it’s crushing the guard’s throat - slowly. Cutting off the flow of oxygen to his brain. He begins to sag, while Widow kicks the skinny guard in the junk and then in the face to dispatch him.

 

Dandy

Who.

 

Fat Guard

(Gasping and lurching, points to his throat as his eyes begin to bulge. Dandy looses his grip considerably, and the guard’s voice is garbled and raspy) A . . . priest. And a guy . . . to do a . . . (kaff) . . . nasty job.

 

Dandy

(Forces the Fat Guard to his knees) What kind of . . . “nasty job”?

 

Fat Guard

I . . . (wheeze) over(kaff)heard . . . something about an ex(cough)communication . . . or maybe a (heave) execution. Maybe both . . . I (wheeze) dunno . . .

 

Dandy

Thanks. (Dandy draws back and slams the guard hard with his fist before turning to Widow.)

 

Widow nods and they make their way down the hall as we fade to commercial again . . .

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

JR: They wouldn't...

 

Jesse: JR, it's the Trinity, you bet they would.

 

JR:-We've just received word that Puerto Rican Lightning has CANCELLED the Hardcore Street Fight, due to what he claims is a broken forearm suffered at the hands of Sonic Youth in the opening segment.

 

Jesse: Smart move by PRL, save yourself for when you're 100%.

 

JR: You call it smart, I call it cowardly. Hang on, we have EVEN MORE activity in the back.

 

Jay Darring, obviously winded from his grueling match with Vitamin X, is stretching in the back. As he stands up, JACOB X flies out from a doorway, and bashes him over the head with a light tube! Jacob X retreats into the side door, and he has A LIGHT TUBE LOG CABIN WITH HIM! Jacob X pulls a couple of tubes out of the cabin, and CRASHES them over the head of Jay Darring, opening a GUSHER on his forehead! Jacob peels the severely lacerated Darring off the floor, picks him up in an Electric Chair position-ASSAULT DRIVER ON THE LIGHT TUBE LOG CABIN! Jay is a bloody mess, bleeding from his back, his chest, his arms, and his face!

 

Jacob (smiling): Purity through pain, Jay, after you're done tasting the divine torture of the Trinity, you will be renewed, just as I have.

 

Jacob crosses his arms and leaves, and minutes later EMTs arrive, with Sonic Youth, Lauren and Janet in tow. Jay starts to stagger up...

 

Jay: GET OFF OF ME!

 

Sonic: Jay, don't be stupid, I'll take the Trinity on myself. I won't let you down, don't worry.

 

Jay (limping around, his blood dripping from his face to the floor): NO, I won't let YOU down! Nothing is going to deny us those tag straps, not Jacob X, not ANYBODY! Trust me Sonic, I'll be ready.

 

Sonic (looking uneasy): Okay Jay, I trust you.

 

Lauren starts tenderly cleaning the blood off of Jay's face as he leans on her, the entire Featured Attraction crew slowly walking off.

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

*THE TRINITY (ED AND STEPHEN) VS. FEATURED ATTRACTION- LADDER MATCH FOR THE OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES

 

(*"Come with Me" by Puff Daddy starts playing, and the Trinity arrive to a chorus of boos*)

 

Ring Announcer: The following contest is a ladder match, for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship. Introducing first, Edward Robbins, Stephen Joseph, the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, THE TRINITY!"

 

Stephen and Ed stroll down to the ring, laughing as they enter the ring.

 

JR: Oh, real big men, having Jacob X take out Jay Darring before the match even starts, real tough.

 

Jesse: That's what Jay gets for accepting Jacob's Light Tube challenge at Great Angle Bash, a little sample of what's coming up.

 

(*"Get on Top" by Red Hot Chili Peppers fires up over the PA*)

 

RA: And their opponents, the challengers, from Boston Massachusetts, Sonic Youth and Jay Darring, FEATURED ATTRACTION!

 

Strangely enough, only Lauren and Janet, Sonic's valets come out, sauntering down to the ring. The Trinity look at each other, then the ladies, and with feral grins on their faces, advance on the ladies.

 

Jesse: Uh oh, JR, ever hear of the Trinity's policy of ritual insemination?

 

The champions close in on the girls- AND ARE DRILLED FROM BEHIND BY THE RISING ANGEL BY FEATURED ATTRACTION!

 

JR: They came out through the crowd, brilliant distraction by Featured Attraction!

 

Sonic Youth has got Ed- FLOWING DDT! Jay tosses Stephen Joseph into the ring.

 

JR: He PLANTED him. Sonic Youth and Jay going to the same strategy as their previous tag match.

 

Jesse: Yeah, but there's a BIG difference between the Trinity and Adam Roy and Nanks!

 

Featured Attraction with a double irish whip, Stephen ducks a double clothesline, but is met with a boot to the gut by Sonic. Sonic picks SJ up in a fireman's carry- FEATURED ATTRACTION WITH A COMBINATION SAMOAN DROP/NECKBREAKER!

 

JR: That's the Sneak Preview, Featured Attraction starting off hot tonight!

 

Ed tries to climb back into the ring, met with a dropkick by Jay. Jay climbs to the outside, goes under the apron, and pulls out a TABLE!

 

JR: Business is about to pick up now!

 

Jay picks Ed up again, and connects with a Double Arm DDT on the floor- as Sonic Youth chops away at Joseph in the corner. With Ed down, Jay pulls out a LADDER. He sets up the table, puts the ladder on top of the table, and sets Ed on top of both! Jay goes up to the top turnbuckle-

 

JR: NO JAY, DON'T DO IT!

 

DIVING HEADBUTT!

 

 

MISSES! EDWARD MOVED! Jay CRASHES RIBS-FIRST ONTO THE TABLE AND LADDER!

 

JR: BY GAWD BY GAWD, JAY'S RIBS ARE BROKEN FOR SURE!

 

Jay is coughing up blood, his body already covered in the red life plasma, as EMTs once again take the North American champion away. Meanwhile, Ed has grabbed the ladder. Stephen Joseph gets irish whipped by Sonic, reversal- and SONIC GETS SLAMMED BACKFIRST INTO THE LADDER, HELD UP ON THE APRON BY EDWARD.

 

Jesse: Very smart doubleteaming by the champs, they're in such perfect sync. It's out of this world.

 

JR: Oh, they're out of this world all right.

 

It's a 2-1 situation now, as Edward and Stephen bring the ladder into the ring. The champions grin at each other, and lay the ladder down in the middle of the ring. They each pick up one of Sonic's arms- BREAKOUT BOMB ON THE LADDER BY THE TRINITY!

 

JR: THAT'S FEATURED ATTRACTION'S SIGNATURE MOVE, THOSE BASTARDS!

 

Sonic Youth is spasming in pain, as the Trinity go back to work on him. Ed and Stephen set up a ladder in the corner, whip Sonic in- double hiptoss, the Trinity hold on, and THEY JUST THROW SONIC INTO THE LADDER, BREAKING IT IN HALF!

 

Jesse: THEY BROKE THE LADDER, THEY BROKE THE LADDER.

 

The Trinity pick up Sonic again by the arms- FACE-FIRST BREAKOUT BOMB ON THE BROKEN LADDER!

 

Jesse: Not only are the Trinity stealing their moves, they're making up new versions of them! More proof that the Trinity is just a better team!

 

The Trinity toss Sonic to the outside of the ring, Stephen works him over with punches and then feeds him to Ed. Ed props Sonic on the Announce Table-PILLOW MADE O' CONCRETE!

 

Jesse: Haha, it's over!

 

Ed is hurt by the move also, and Stephen grabs another ladder. He sets it up in the middle of the ring, and is about to climb for the belts-

 

WHEN JAY DARRING DASHES LIKE A MADMAN BACK INTO THE RING AND SPEARS STEPHEN JOSEPH!

 

JR: BY GAWD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

 

Jesse: He's insane!

 

A bloody and battered Jay is raining punches down on the leader of the Trinity, picks him up, irish whip, FLYING FOREARM BY THE NA CHAMPION! AND A KIP-UP!

 

Jesse: He's possessed!

 

JR: HE'S SUPERHUMAN!

 

Jay: "COME ON!" Jay waits for SJ to get up- YAKUZA KICK CONNECTS!

 

JR: Jay Darring is a house afire, and he's leaking blood everywhere!

 

Jay, on an adrenaline high, is running the ropes, springboard to the outside- RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT CONNECTS ON EDWARD ROBBINS! Jay FLIES back into the ring, and as Stephen gets up- A SECOND YAKUZA KICK DRILLS STEPHEN JOSEPH! Jay signals for the Afterthought- AND IT CONNECTS!

 

JR: WE'RE GONNA HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS, I CAN FEEL IT!

 

Jay starts to climb the ladder, 1 rung, 2 rungs, 3 rungs- he's on top, he's got his hands on the belts-

 

PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS HIT THE RING THROUGH THE CROWD AND PUSHES THE LADDER OVER! JAY FALLS TO THE OUTSIDE, WITH A HARD THUD!

 

Jesse: That must be hard to do with a broken forearm!

 

JR: HIS ARMS NOT BROKEN YOU IDIOT, AND HE MAY HAVE JUST SHATTERED JAY'S RIBS. THAT SCUM!

 

PRL leaves again through the crowd. Stephen Joseph is still out. On the outside, Sonic Youth and Edward Robbins are up and trading punches. Ed takes Sonic down with a clothesline, and he's going for a chair. Ed picks up the chair, he turns around- SONIC DROPKICKS THE CHAIR IN HIS FACE! Ed is down, Sonic has the chair, puts it on the floor. He boots in Edward in the gut, grabs an arm wringer, puts his leg over Ed's head- PLAY OF THE DAY ON THE CHAIR BY SONIC YOUTH ON EDWARD ROBBINS!

 

JR: Ed is out! Ed is out! Featured Attraction still has a chance!

 

The ladder is still in the ring, Sonic sets it up, begins to climb. Joseph is stirring, he's up. Sonic is close to the belts now- cut off by Stephen Joseph. Joseph nails Sonic in the back a couple of times, grabs a full nelson- SYNCHRONICITY OFF THE LADDER!

 

JR: OH MY LORD, WHAT A DEVASTATING MOVE! SONIC'S SPINE HAS BEEN COMPRESSED!

 

Joseph is slow to get up, the ladder is still set up- Joseph is on his feet, climbs the ladder....

 

JR: NO, NOT THIS WAY!

 

1 rung, 2 rungs, 3...

 

HE GRABS THE TITLES!

 

Jesse: HAHA, YES!

 

RA: Your winners of the match, and STILL OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE TRINITY!

 

JR: THE TRINITY STEAL ONE! FEATURED ATTRACTION HAD THE MATCH WON, BUT PRL SCREWED THEM...

 

Jesse: But but but JR, the point is, the Trinity still hold the gold!

 

SJ pulls Ed up, tells him "we have bigger plans tonight" and quickly drags him out of the combat zone. Sonic is still not moving in the ring, and eventually EMTs hit the ring to attend to him too.

 

JR: I hate to say this, but the Trinity may have finally accomplished their goal of destroying Featured Attraction here tonight.

 

Jesse: What a glorious glorious day.

 

JR: You make me sick, cut to a commercial now.

Edited June 17, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

REJECT VS. THE BLURRICANE

 

JR

Next up we have a match between The Blurricane and Reject. These two have a little score to settle after their miscommunication a couple of weeks ago. But I don't see how Blurricane can focus when some sicko is stalking him around the building.

 

JESSE

Now JR how do you know it's a sicko? Have you met the guy?

 

JR

Yes and you have too!

 

JESSE

I have? When?

 

JR

Oh come on! Are you trying to tell me that isn't Orion back there messing with Blurricane? Who else has been a thorn in his side?

 

JESSE

That's a pretty lofty claim JR! You have no proof!

 

JR

Ah hell that sonofabitch has no guts! He's interfered in Blurricane's matches and he's stirred up trouble now! Why he's...

 

CUE: Headstrong by Trapt

 

JESSE

Oh look what you've done now JR! I'm not sticking around if this turns into a fight!

 

JR

What the hell is he doing out here?

 

(Orion comes out to a chorus of boos. He has the F13 Title around his waist and he points to it as he walks to the ring. He even shines it a little with his hand. He makes his way to the announcers table, sits down, and puts on a headset.)

 

JESSE

Hi Orion. I was just out here telling JR what a great competitor you are.

 

ORION

I'm sure you have Jesse. JR...how are you?

 

JR

I'm fine, but I'll feel better when you explain what you're doing out here.

 

ORION

I'm here to do commentary for this next match. I'm sick of listening to you two bore me to tears.

 

JR

I'm just going to come right out and say this. Why are you messing with Blurricane backstage?

 

ORION

I'm not. You think I'd hide in shadows JR? If I'm going to mess with someone I'll take credit for it and gloat over it. I don't take credit for this.

 

JESSE

There you have it JR. The man is innocent.

 

JR

We'll see.

 

RING ANNOUNCER

This match is scheduled for one fall, and is your MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! Introducing first...

 

CUE: Rock You Like a Hurricane

 

(Blurricane comes flying out of the stage amidst short blasts of pyro. He swooshes a little slower than usual because he's still confused about what's been happening backstage. He reaches the ring and tosses his cape to the ring attendant)

 

RING ANNOUNCER

Weighing in at 191 pounds. From Parts Unknown...THE BLURRICANE!

 

(Blurricane's music dies out as the crowd gets ready.)

 

JR

Blurricane is showing signs of being worried about his mystery stalker.

 

ORION

He needs to worry about Reject....on second thought...no he doesn't.

 

JESSE

Haha I like this man!

 

CUE: Hate Me Now

 

RING ANNOUNCER

Weighing in at 225 pounds. From New York, New York...REJECT!

 

(Reject looks focused as he comes down to the ring. As he's about to get into the ring he spots Orion at the announce table and yells at him to stay out of the ring.)

 

ORION

Whatever "dude". Geez people act like it's a sin to come out and get a ringside seat to watch two great...ummm good.....ummm...fair atheletes.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Reject steps into the ring and the two men circle each other before locking up. Blurricane Armdrags Reject down and waits for him to stand again. When he stands Blurricane locks up again and this time twists his arm in an Arm Wringer. He then turns it into a Hammerlock. Reject twists out of it and drops down taking Blurricane over with a Drop Toe Hold. Reject goes for a Standing Moonsault, but Blurricane gets his knees up. Blurricane picks him up and hits a Gut Buster. Cover. 1...2..No!!

 

JR

Near fall already. It looks like Blurricane is working the midsection of Reject.

 

ORION

Is Blurricane even smart enough to do that? Obviously not since none of his finishers focus on the gut.

 

JR

He's made a weak spot on him and he's wearing him down! It's not a matter of his finisher right now.

 

JESSE

JR don't question the logic of our special guest! That's rude! I apologize Orion he's stupid...he's from Oklahoma.

 

Blurricane Scoop Slams Reject and bounces off the ropes for an Elbow Drop to Reject's gut. Without missing a beat Blurricane bounces off the ropes again for a Somersault Senton Splash on Reject. Cover. 1...2..No!!

 

JR

Blurricane sort of stealing from Reject's book there with a modified Rolling Thunder...without the rolling.

 

ORION

Oh you're brilliant JR. Did you think that up all by yourself?

 

Blurricane picks Reject back up and whips him to the ropes. Reject reverses the whip and Back Body Drops Blurricane as he comes back. Reject hits the ropes and does the real Rolling Thunder to Blurricane. Cover 1...2...No!! Reject whips Blurricane to the ropes and Clotheslines him back down. Reject climbs to the top rope and waits for Blurricane to stand. He comes off with a Flying Kick to Blurricane that sends him back down. Blurricane then rolls to the outside for a rest and walks by the announce table.

 

ORION

Hey freak! Why don't you use your heat vision to melt his ass?

 

JR

That's not very nice.

 

Blurricane makes his way back to the ring apron and Reject comes over to Suplex him back in. Blurricane ducks down and throws a Shoulder Block into Reject. As Reject is bent over Blurricane flips over the top rope and off of Reject's back. He lands on his feet and Dropkicks Reject over the top rope as he stands up.

 

ORION

Oh no! He may be hurt. Let me help him (Orion stands up and pours some of his water on Reject.)

 

Reject gets pissed and leaps at Orion. Reject throws wild punches at Orion while Jesse and JR try to get him to go back to the ring.

 

ORION

Get this maniac off of me!!

 

JESSE

Hey get back in the ring Reject! He's just out here trying to do commentary!

 

Reject pulls Orion from the table and sends him into the ring steps. Reject finally climbs back into the ring and locks up with Blurricane. Reject manages to get control of the lock up and Slams Blurricane to the ground. Reject hits a Standing Moonsault. He doesn't stop there, but instead goes to the second rope and hits a Moonsault from there. Reject then goes to the top rope and goes for the third moonsault in the Triple Play. This time Blurricane moves out of the way and Reject comes crashing down. The ref starts his ten count.

 

1...2...3...4...5...6...Blurricane starts to move and so does Reject...7...8...Both men get up.

 

Reject whips Blurricane to the ropes and Blurricane comes bouncing off with a Flying Forearm that takes Reject down. The crowd pops as Blurricane kips up and gives the Hokey Thumbs Up to the crowd. He waits for Reject to stand and takes him down with a Running Neckbreaker. Cover. 1...2...No!!

 

JR

Blurricane is back in control of the match.

 

JESSE

Nevermind that! Orion is hurt I think! That damn Reject gave him a cheap shot!

 

Orion gets up off the ground looking pissed and sees Blurricane bouncing off the ropes. Orion reaches in and trips him up. Orion turns to taunt the crowd as Blurricane bounces off the ropes and hits a Suicide Dive onto Orion on the outside.

 

JESSE

Not again!! Why won't these two leave him alone!?

 

Blurricane manages to get back up and try to slam Orion's head into the announce table. Orion blocks it and kicks Blurricane in the gut. Orion picks Blurricane up for a Suplex, but drapes him across the guardrail. Orion then tells Reject to do a Spinning Wheel Kick off the apron to him. The ref is on the outside trying to restore order and to get Orion to leave, but Orion ignores him. Reject climbs to the apron and hesitates to leap off. Orion calls him a wuss and yells at him to do it. While Orion argues with Reject, Blurricane recovers and pulls Orion over the guardrail. Blurricane moves out of the way as Reject dives into the crowd!! The crowd goes nuts as Reject takes Orion out.

 

JR

Bah Gawd!! Reject just leapt into the crowd to take out Orion!!

 

JESSE

Remind me who's in this match again JR?

 

JR

I don't think these two care about the match anymore.

 

Reject recovers from the leap and climbs back into the ring where Blurricane has been waiting. They lock up and Blurricane goes for a Chokeslam. As Blurricane lifts Reject twists and takes Blurricane to the mat, reversing it into a Crossface. Blurricane quickly gets a foot to the rope to break the hold. Reject pulls him back up and whips him to the ropes again. As Blurricane comes off, Reject Monkey Flips him. Blurricane flips through and lands on his feet. As Reject turns around Blurricane hits a Jumping Clothesline on him. Reject gets up and Blurricane hits a Chokeslam. Cover. 1...2...3..No!!

 

JR

Finally we're getting back to the match! Maybe Orion won't interfere anymore.

 

JESSE

The man was just defending himself! Reject started it!

 

Blurricane waits for Reject to get to his knees and comes in with a Shining Black! Reject ducks at the last second and Blurricane misses. Reject grabs Blurricane by the legs and Catapults him into the corner where Blurricane hits his head on the top turnbuckle. Reject then Slams Blurricane and leaps the top rope for a Split Legged Moonsault. The moonsault connects. Cover. 1...2...3..NO!! Blurricane kicks out at the last second.

 

JR

Reject almost had him!!

 

JESSE

Hey look JR! Orion is back up!

 

JR

Dammit!!

 

Orion makes his way to the ring with a chair in hand and Reject hits a Baseball Slide to the chair that knocks Orion back down. Then...

 

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!

 

JESSE

What the hell!?

 

Faint sounds of a struggle are heard in the ring as the crowd buzzes. Finally the lights come back on and both Reject and Blurricane are out in the middle of the ring. Reject's arm is draped over Blurricane. Cover. 1...2...3!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JR

Reject wins, but I don't think he even knows it! Orion must have taken them both out!

 

JESSE

That's not possible JR! Orion is still out on the outside!

 

HERE'S YOUR WINNER IN 15:43 - REJECT!!

 

The ref looks on confused as Orion is still out on the outside. All three men are out cold leaving the ref and everyone else wondering who knocked out Reject and Blurricane. Suddenly a strange laughing is heard over the loud speakers as if someone hidden somewhere had a mic in hand. The ref and everyone else look around confused as to where the laughing is coming from.

 

JR

What the hell!? Who's that laughing?

 

[commercial]

[Guest ShooterJay]

(We return from commercial with the camera fixed on JR and Jesse)

JR

Welcome ba–

 

(Lights go out abruptly, and when they come back up, we can see in the ring, Edward Robbins. He stands looking towards the roof, and we soon see why)

 

JR

What in THE hell?! That’s –

 

JESSE

A cocoon? That the f–

 

JR

I need a drink . . .

 

(A black cocoon lowers from the rafters, and we soon see SPIDERPOET’S~! Head sticking out of the top, hanging somewhat limply. He looks battered and weak as he tries to look around. THE DARK POET stands on SP’s cocooned shoulders, riding the sick contraption down, holding onto the line that’s lowering it. When it gets close to the ring, it stops, and TDK jumps down and joins Ed in the ring)

 

Ed

(To TDK) Thank you, good sir. Now . . . (looks up) you. I thought about it long and hard after I accepted your challenge. But after discussing it with your Dark friend here, I decided to just go ahead and remove you from my list of things to deal with. The sooner, the better. Your salvation is, after all, more important than my timetable . . . or filling a slot on a Pay-Per-View. What these fans want or pay to see isn’t important to me. They are betrayers . . . just like Zack, and just like you. THAT is why you like him. Two of a kind, Spidey. Two of a kind. And your kind (to the crowd) ALL your kind, must be wiped out eventually.

 

(Ed turns back to Poet)

 

We, the Trinity, charge you with TREASON. We were going to just destroy you, but as a favor to our associate here (Ed looks to TDK), we’ll offer you a choice. You can be excommunicated from the OAOAST forever . . . never setting foot on any show in any capacity, not even as a guest of someone you are involved with . . . or we’ll destroy you right here and now. We’ll break every bone in your body. And you can’t do a thing about it . . . you did sign the Warzone agreement, after all. It’s all perfectly legal if it’s on the air.

 

JR

Good L-- . . . I don’t . . . I can’t . . . this is getting to be too much!

 

TDK

(Holds a hand up and pulls Poet’s mask up over his nose) What say you? (Holds the mic up)

 

Poet

(Grunts and then SPITS~! In ED’S FACE! AND IN TDK’S!)

 

Ed

(Enraged, punches SP in the face, and blood spurts from his nose) Fine! We’ve got a Priest to give you your Rites . . . and someone special to break you in half.

 

(Two hooded figures emerge onto the stage and make their way down to the ring. Both wear long robed and their faces are obscured by hoods. The short, slender one carries a Cross and the tall, broad one carries a bat)

 

Ed

(Regards the figures for a moment) The holy and the hellbound, Poet. This is your end, your finale. Where is your brother and your woman now, eh? Rest in peace . . .

 

(Ed turns and walks right into the broad, hooded figure. He looks up and the figure throws the hood back -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JR

EL DANDY! EL DANDY! BAH GAWD THE POET IS NOT ALONE!

 

 

(*THWACK* Dandy crunches Ed’s ribs with the bat and then throws him through the ropes to the outside. The other figure whirls towards The Dark Poet and swings her cross for the fences, knocking him back and over the ropes to the outside. Dandy pulls a knife out and cuts the cocooned Poet out and then cuts the black material from around him. The two pull SP to his feet and he slumps against them. Outside, Ed and TDK look on as they back up the ramp, Stephen Joseph and Jacob X meeting them halfway. The Trinity and TDK look on as Dandy and Widow support Poet, Dandy holding his bat up like Babe Ruth, pointing at them)

 

 

Fade Out

[Guest ShooterJay]

LOS CREDITOS (because adding "los" to anything makes it sound cool.)

 

PRODUCER:

ShooterJay

 

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

LaParkaYourCar/Blurricane

Michael Joel Benoit

ShooterJay

The Amazing Rando (AWESOME first effort on the NA Title match bro.)

Sonic Youth

SpiderPoet

 

Thanks to everyone who did stuff, much appreciated.