SJL Metal, March 27th

[Guest crusen86]

SJL Metal, Wednesday March 27th

Arena: The Gund Area! w00t! Were back home!

Announcers: Axis, Edwin... And The Suicide King! This should be fun. Say hi to your heelish third announcer.

 

No DQ European Title Match

Erek Taylor © vs. Shawn Brody vs. Ced Ordonez vs. Mike Van Siclen

- First fall wins. Taylor's pulling double duty tonight - good thing he's opening the show and closing it so by the main event, he is completely recovered. He will be defending his title against three deserving contenders in MVS, Shawn Brody and Ced Ordonez, the latter two of the JL's most impressive up and comers, whilst MVS is a bit more of a veteran. It doesn't take a genius to work out that Brody and MVS haven't exactly been friends lately, and Ordonez/Brody tension has been building up. Poor Brody, always getting on everyone's bad side. In any event, can he become a double champion? Erek, I can't make this more blatent - job.

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Xero

- I'm Sorry, neither of these guys are going anywhere until they actually write. If they keep no showing, stips will keep getting more and more embarassing each show, starting with a bra and panties match next week.

 

TV Title #1 & 2 Contendership Match

Cutthroat vs. The Dark Reaper vs. Kojack

- Very similar to a certain match on Crimson, minus Deathwish and plus Kojack. The person pinned in this match will NOT get a shot at Brody's TV title. The man who gets the fall, and the man who doesn't get pinned, will both face Brody at some stage in the future. Get it? Ask if you don't.

 

European Title #1 Contendership Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs. Z vs. "Deathwish" Danny Williams

- What? A contendership match after the title match? Weirdness. Anyway, three of the JL's most impressive newbies in a loooong time get their shot at gaining glory with a shot at a European title shot. Erm, yes. Muaha.

 

No DQ World Title Match

K-Os © vs. Erek Taylor vs. Ash Ketchum vs. Flexxx vs. Jacob Helmsley

- The first pin wins. Now this is what I call a match. Five men. The first person to get a fall on their opponent becomes the JL champion. Flexxx returns from a lengthy abscene of a show, whilst Jacob Helmsley is back from... Erm, whereever he's been. And he's looking for gold. Both Erek and Ash are JL mainstays. Which man will walk out with the gold? Obviously, not K-Os, since he's not writing and all. Say bye bye to K-Os everyone.

[Guest crusen86]

Wait... isn't there supposed to be a Euro Title Match right now?

 

Oh wait... no... the match ended. The show's over. Goodnight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No... wait. Billy and Chuck's theme hit and they came down with Rico to wrestle The Natural Disasters in a Linda McMahon On A Pole Match.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nope... ah, here we go:

 

------

PROMO: Great Expectations

------

 

As the show opens up, Ash Ketchum sits in his locker room. He is dressed in his ring gear, ready to go for tonight's main event. He looks confident, but not cocky, as he sits in his own locker room, adjoined to the X Force Nine locker room. Hey, it comes with being a veteran.

 

Anyways, Ash is sitting there, watching tape of Erek Taylor vs. K-Os, when his girlfriend, Misty, dressed in a white tanktop and  a pair of short jeans, and she taps Ash on the shoulder, who turns around.

 

"Yes?" Ash inquires.

 

"I need to tell you something...' Misty replies.

 

"OK."

 

Ketchum turns off the TV, and he and Misty sit down to talk.

 

"Mikey," Misty begins,"I went to the doctor's last week..."

 

"Yes?"

 

"And... and..." Misty stutters.

 

"Yes?" Ash asks.

 

She stays silent for a second, looking down as she speaks two words that forever change the life of Ash Ketchum.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm pregnant."

 

Ash's jaw drops, his breathing increases, his heartbeat turns up a notch as he looks shocked. But then... he smiles, and he hugs his beautiful girlfriend. He slowly cries happy tears of joy, which run down his cheek.

 

"Oh... Amy," as he calls Misty by her real name,"this is incredible. I can't believe it."

 

"And Mikey... I want to come to ringside with you tonight."

 

"Amy... I don't know..." Ash replies. "It's too dangerous."

 

"Pleeeeease?" Misty asks Ash convincingly.

 

Ash pauses, thinking, then replies.

 

"...All right. If it makes you happy." Ash smiles as he lets go of Misty. "Now... you'd better get ready."

 

Misty nods and she gets up, going into the X Force Nine locker room to get her stuff as Ash turns around, turining on the TV.

 

"Erek, K-Os... and Flexxx and Jake... tonight... this is MY night... and I don't care what I have to do... I will become champion... you will all see that... as will the millions of Poke Freaks around the world... I am the next SJL World Champion... I am..."

 

He looks up. Above the TV is a mirror, and Ash stares into the reflection, almost as if he was possessed or demonic. tHe shot shows it from behind his head. His face remains emotionless... but he senses something. And then, his mouth opens again to speak.

 

"I am... because I am the Pokemonster... and I am that f'n awesome..."

 

The shot of Ash's reflection staring back into the mirror fades into commercial, right before tonight's Euro Title match begins...

[Guest crusen86]

We quickly flash through the opening images of our Metal broadcast, showing the intense images of Shawn Brody, Ced Ordonez, and Erek Taylor… before quickly cutting to inside the Gund Arena!!!  The sounds of a buzzsaw ripping through sheet metal fill the arena as lightning sparks down from the ceiling, igniting a huge explosion of pyro from the stage and ring!!!  As the cameras recover from the glare they pan wildly around the Gund Arena, showing masses upon masses of crazed Clevelanders in a sea of orange brown colors.  Many are holding various signs but hardly any of them are legible, as these are after all, only Clevelanders… the camera quickly switches to the JL announce desk and our own Dynamic Duo of announcing, Axis the Australian and Edwin MacPhisto the nutjob!!!!

 

Axis begins, as is only right.  “Ladies and gentlemen, the SJL is back in the states once more after a whirlwind tour of the Land Down Under!!!!  We saw the heights of heroism and the depths of villainy as our boys and girl gave it all for the entertainment of my Aussie kin!”

 

Edwin giggles a touch, as if perhaps the brightly colored, umbrella-sticking-out-of girly drinks have already been flowing.  “Yessir, indeedly doodly my Austere Aussie friend!  The shows were, if I say so myself, fantabulous and splendiferous in the extreme! But I have saved the best for you Yanks, as my less civilized Limey brethren refer to you… tonight we bid goodbye to two of the biggest sores on my federation, Lady Red and K-Os!!!  No more will I have to gaze upon their humorless faces or watch their rhythmless motions in the ring!!!’

 

“You are saying, I take it, that Lady Red and K-Os lack rhythm, and dare I say, soul?”  Axis offers, and Edwin eagerly swings at the lob…

 

“YES!!!!  They are funk-impaired!!!  And I say let them wander off to the WF where I and my more dance-oriented colleagues can teach them a thing or two!”  Edwin shakes his head sadly while grinning manicly.  “Oh, I’ll show them how to dance, yes I will Tom Bombadil.”

 

“I don’t understand a word you just said.”

 

The Mac Daddy’s grin merely widens.  Axis sighs before muddling onward…  “Anyway, we are indeed action-packed tonight kids as we have not one but TWO, count ‘em, TWO No DQ multi-partner tangos dances for belts tonight!!!  First, and following our first commercial break the High-Flying Prince battles our three most capable midcarders in the form of the Fallen Angel, MVS, and Ced Ordonez!!!  Will we see the salute tonight, or will Erek triumph against all the odds?”

 

“But wait, there’s more Mr. Popeil!!!”  Edwin yells out.  “In a brilliantly booked main event if I do say so myself, departing ne’er-do-well K-Os goes through one last gauntlet as I make him my small female dog!  K-Os gets to fight through every damned veteran I could find outside my office yesterday at 3:12 PM!!!!  Ash and Erek Taylor throw down alongside coincidentally returning vets Fleh-eh-exxx and Jacob Helmsley‘s pipe!!!  Oh, and the pipe brought Helmsley along with it!”

 

“But now,” Axis interjects, “Let’s cut to a quick video recap of the major events that took place in Oz!  Roll it!”

 

The camera angle switches to a wide view of the arena as the haunting melody of that classic Australian childhood ditty “Kookaburra” begins to play… before being suddenly replaced by a harsh squeal of a tape being forcibly removed from the deck as if, say, by the Jaws of Life.

 

“What the-“

 

And instead “Kookaburra” transforms into a very, VERY different song indeed!

 

“ALL ABOARD!!!  AH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!!”

 

The arena explodes with the wailing guitar chords of “Crazy Train” as Ozzy Ozborne’s voice sounds throughout the arena… the fans respond mostly confusedly to a song they haven’t heard in a long, long while… say, a month or so.  Edwin’s face drains of color…

 

“He wouldn’t.  He WOULDN’T.”

 

“Umm… Edwin.  It isn’t him.  Stubby fired him, remember?”  Axis offers.

 

Edwin nods thoughtfully, before grabbing Axis by the lapels and shaking him violently back and forth!  “HE WOULDN’T, I TELL YOU!! IT’S MAD!  MAD I SAY!!!”

 

But as a wall of crimson pyro lights up the stage and reveals a familiar silhouette, it is very cleat that whoever he is, he most certainly would.  And as the man himself turns in place to bask in the adoration of his fans, the Suicide King, former SWF Heavyweight Champion, stands revealed in all his glory.  The entire Gund Arena explodes into cheers at the return of the King, before remembering that he is a very bad man and showering him in the heat that he loves so much.

 

“No!!”  Edwin cries out, his voice muffled as he rams his forehead into the announce table repeatedly…  “No no no!!!!”

 

“Uh oh…” Axis notes.  “It’s worse than that, Edwin.”

 

“How could it possibly get any worse?!!?”

 

“He has-“  DUNH-DUNH! “- a microphone.”

 

“GAAH!!!!!”

 

The Suicide King, the Gambling Man, the King of Hearts, the Heartbreaker (betcha didn’t think I would use them all didja?) patiently waits for the abuse to die down from the fans before raising the mic to his lips…

 

“Wow.  The SJL… the place where tomorrow’s stars are born.  Sort of fitting that every other show is in the home of those perennial losers, the Browns.”

 

The resulting volley of thrown bottles and shoes luckily miss the King.

 

“Wow… I love what you’ve done with the place Edwin.  Real grade-school talent show you’ve got here.  Do you help them with their little skits or do you let the JL ‘Superstars’ use their collective seventh-grade education to come up with ideas on their own?”

 

Edwin sputters indignantly as he frantically signals for someone to hand him a mic with a feed as the King slowly walks down the ramp…

 

“I mean, look at all the talent you have here!   A grown man pretending to be an 8-year-old from a bad Japanese cartoon!  A cheap RVD knockoff!  You’ve got a guy whose sole gimmick is that he has more X’s in his name than Xstasy!  And is Xero still here?  Of course he is, what am I saying-“

 

“THAT’S JUST ABOUT ENOUGH!!!”  Edwin screams out through his microphone.  “Normally I’d be more than happy to match wits with you, you second-rate impressionist of a third-rate Chris Wilson impersonator!  But it occurs to me that I don’t have to… because the JL is my baby!!!  And you, sir, are not part of it!!  And so, in closing…  SECURITY!!!!”

 

King looks uncharacteristically flustered as he hurriedly makes the rest of the way down the aisle as security begins its inexorable walk down the ramp…

 

“Whoa there big fella!  No need for the histrionics!  I’ve got a piece of paper right here that will explain everything!”

 

Edwin grins without much humor for once in his life.  “Well, I will certainly take a look at it, my fine felonious friend, but I think that security shall remain by ringside, just in case you’re feeling particularly uppity.”

 

King grimaces and the crowd roars its approval of their commissioner as Axis sits there, shaking his head as the two egomaniacs BUTT heads.   King sidles over to the announce table and hands the document over to Edwin, coincidentally just bumping the table enough to spill Axis’s Pepsi MAX, prompting daggers from the Australian’s eyes…  Edwin eyes the paper suspiciously before his expression changes to one of puzzlement…

 

“White bread, Dawn, bologna, Preparation H?  What the hell is this King?”

 

King turns rather red as the crowd erupts into laughter, before ripping that paper out of Edwin’s hands and replacing it with another, more official looking document.   Edwin grins in place for a moment, contemplating any number of evil tricks for the future that undoubtedly involve chemical replacements and hemorrhoid cream before again returning to the document.  He only eyes it for a moment before saying…

 

“So?  This is your old IGNML contract.  What does that have to do with the price of Preparation H at K-Mart?”

 

King growls under his breath as the crowd again laughs at him.  “Well, you effete British male cheerleader, it’s just something that I and my lawyer found very interesting.  You see, after Stubby fired me (in direct defiance of my contract might I add) my shyster and I went over our old documents in search of anything that could help my impending wrongful termination, defamation of character, and emotional trauma suit against the SWF.  What we were surprised to find is that my IGNML contract was never terminate, and is in fact STILL ACTIVE!”

 

Edwin looks nonplussed.  “Is that so?  Well, in that case, my fine dear boy, as commissioner of the united JL and ML, allow me to be the first to tell you that YOU”RE FIR-“

 

“NAH AH AH!   WAIT ONE SECOND!”  King says.  “You might want to read the part at the bottom about unwarranted termination of the contract first, you poncy little refugee from ‘Oliver Twist!’”

 

Now it’s Edwin’s turn to growl as he quickly scans the document.  His expression changes from disgust, to annoyance, to sudden and acute discomfort…  the Mac Daddy looks up, his voice somewhat subdued.

 

“You get to do that to me if I fire you?”

 

King grins.  “Yes.”

 

“Don’t you need some sort of…” Edwin waves his hand in the air vaguely, “medical degree or license to do that?”

 

“I don’t know,” King answers truthfully.  “Contract law is vague on many points.  I do know however that I would OH so enjoy the opportunity to find out on you.  I brought sterilized tools!  I’m no savage.”

 

Edwin’s face drains of color again as he sits down, pondering the potentially fatal loss of fluids this would entail.  Axis, to his credit, rises, biting off each word as he towers over the merely six-foot King…

 

“Look here you little pissant.”  The crowd explodes as the King looks somewhat taken aback at this familiarity in his tone.  “I’ve spit things up bigger than you, and if you think you’re going to march in here like you own the place you’ve got another thing coming, mate.  I may be retired, but I am still more than active enough to put your condescending smarmy face through this announce table right now.  You’ve never, EVER beaten me King…”

 

King looks up, up, up at the Aussie Avenger as he innocently responds…

 

“I’m sorry?  Do I know you?  Name’s the Suicide King, former World Champion.  You keep trying kiddo, one day you’ll get there if you keep reaching for the stars!”

 

Axis reaches out with two massive paws as he grabs the King around his scrawny little neck and begins to shake him back and forth like a rag doll!!!  King turns progressively deeper shades of red… before Axis’ grip is broken by Edwin!!!!

 

“EUREKA!!!!!”  Edwin exclaims.  “I”VE GOT IT!”

 

Axis indignantly responds, “I was busy killing King Edwin.  Can’t this wait?”

 

Shaking his head, Edwin responds, “No.  Besides, you should see what that contract lets him do to you if you choke him to unconsciousness. I thought you would rather not find out, what with it involving three feet of rubber hose and bleach.”

 

“Ew.”

 

King sits on the ground, rubbing his wounded throat as Edwin walks over to him.

 

“OK, Kingy, your contract is airtight.  But this means you work for ME now!!!  And there’s only one place I can put you where I would ever feel safe, and that is right under my nose!   Starting tonight boyo, you are sitting between me and Axis twice a week as a JL announcer!!!”

 

King grins, obviously happy with a plan that has come together perfectly.  But Edwin continues…

 

“Don’t think I don’t know that this is exactly what you had planned.  You think you’re some sort of Professor Moriarty to my Holmes eh?  Well, fine, Prof!  Time for this protagonist to get his just rewards!”

 

“What are you saying Edwin?”  King says, a touch of nervousness creeping into his voice.

 

“I’m saying, King, that I know your fondness for the music of the late seventies.”

 

“What?”  King says, clearly confused. ”What does that have to do with anything?  While it is true that any music aficionado acknowledges that rock’n’roll peaked during the summer of 79, I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

 

“Well, oh Monarch of all things Circulatory and Pulmonary, what it means is this.  I’m giving you a present.  As you own personal theme song while you are here with me in the JL, I will be gifting you with the greatest song out of the 70s!!!”

 

King’s face brightens. “Don’t Fear the Reaper?  No, wait… More Than a Feeling?  Is it Hotel California?  I love that song!!”

 

“No, no, and no.  What it is is the undisputed king of all songs from the seventies, one that captures the spirit and joy of that oh so innocent time.  Your song, my gift to you…

 

is Disco Duck.”

 

The entire crowd bursts into laughter as the King responds with outrage as “his” song begins to play over the speakers, the resonant voice of Donald Duck rapping his way through the worst piece of disco music ever made (and that’s saying something).  Axis is rolling behind the table as the King shakes his head back and forth frantically with such protestations as “But I’m cool!  NO!!!”

 

Edwin just grins for a long, long while, watching his newest announcing colleague run around like a chicken with its head cut off, before turning to the camera.

 

“And when we come back, we’ll see that four-way dance I was talking about earlier.  Tally-ho!”

 

The camera begins to fade out as King drops to his knees, crying out to an uncaring God…

 

“WHY??  WHY?”

[Guest crusen86]

We are LIVE, ACROSS AMERICA, from the Gund Arena in (sort-of) beautiful Cleveland, Ohio!  The fans are going nuts, and the camera pans around to catch some of the signs held up by the cheering fans!  Examples: "RAJAHSWF.COM!!!!!", "That's What He Said!", "He Is That Craaaaaazy!", and the somehow-still-popular "So Says The Clan!"  The fans are stoked for the match as we send it over to Edwin Macphisto and Axis, everyone's favorite commentating crew, joined tonight by the Suicide King!

 

"(Axis) Welcome BACK to Smarks Junior League Metal!"

"(Edwin) Shred it up, baby!"

"(Axis) I'm Axis, joined tonight by Edwin Macphisto and the Suicide King."

"(King) No, Axis, it's former World Heavyweight Champion of the World that's made Edwin say he quit, the Suicide King."

"(Axis) Whatever.  Anyways, tonight we have a stellar card for you, with the finisher being a five-way, no disqualification, first-pin-wins match for the World title!"

"(Edwin) Yes!  Yes yes yes!  And lest we forget, that match will be between Jacob Helmsley, Flexxx, Ash Ketchum, Erek Taylor, and defending champion K-Os!"

"(King) Did I mention yet that I'm a former World Champion?"

"(Axis) Once."

"(Edwin) Somehow, King, you've failed to mention you're a DIRTY FILTHY STINKING TRAITOR, and you can't book either."

"(King) …I've never booked a match in my life."

"(Edwin) I rest my case."

"(Axis, sighing) Also tonight, Cutthroat vs Kojack vs the Dark Reaper, for number one contendership to Shawn Brody's Television Title!"

"(King) Shawn uses excellent tactics, but I could've done the Melissa-mace-spray dealie-o so much better."

"(Axis) Sure you would've, Kingster.  And also tonight, three more relative newbs get their chance to shine!  Tom Flesher, Danny Williams, and Z go head-to-head-to-head in a European Title Number One Contendership match!"

"(Edwin) Have I mentioned I'm a two-time ICTV Champion?"

"(King) Fifteen ICTV championships can't equal a World Championship.  Are you a former World Champion?  No."

"(Axis) Bah… on to more pressing matters, opening tonight's Night of Champions edition of SJL Metal, it's Shawn Brody, Mike Van Siclen, Erek Taylor, and Ced Ordonez, one-on-one-on-one-on-one, no disqualifications for the European title!"

"(Edwin) And what a match this is going to be!"

"(King) The SJL European title is an inferior title to my former SWF World Title."

"(Axis) While I wait for you two to shut up, I send it to Funyon for the introductions.  Take it, Funyon!"

 

"(Funyon) Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a No Disqualifications match for the European Title!"

 

The eerie intro of Stabbing Westward’s “Darkest Days” starts to emanate from the PA system. The slow jingle of bells and the beat of a drum catch the fans’ attention as they turn their heads to the entranceway. The lights dim and start to strobe against the black velvet curtains as the anticipating fans await his arrival with the music growing in volume. A figure in a black robe steps out from behind the curtains to a mass of mixed emotions from the fans as flashbulbs start to pop and sparkle all around. He strides to the ring with his black robe flowing behind him, boos echoing in his ears, overcoming his music in volume. He rolls into the ring as flashbulbs start to sparkle once more, battling the strobe lights in a flashy war.

 

"(Funyon) Weighing in tonight at 227 pounds... He is a member of the Clan, in addition to being YOUR SJL Television Champion... ‘THE FALLEN ANGEL’ SHAAAWN BRODY!”

 

He takes off his black robe and hangs it over the ring post and starts to stretch, warming up for the match. He waits with his back braced against the turnbuckle, his head tilted downward, focused.

 

"(Axis) Listen to the reaction for our Television Champion!"

"(Edwin, a mite confused) …He's getting booed."

"(King) Bah!  These fans simply can't appreciate a talented individual such as Shawn Brody!"

 

The two continue to bicker as "Esaka?" blares through the speakers and the crowd begins to clap in rhythm. The song plays for a while before Ced emerges and the crowd cheers his arrival. He jogs down the ramp, slapping the outstretched hands of fans along his way. He slides into the ring, takes off his t-shirt, and throws it into the crowd before stretching out in his corner.

 

"(Funyon) Introducing second, weighing in tonight at 191 pounds, he hails from San Jose, California, CEEEEEEEEEED OR-DOOOOOON-EZZZ!"

 

The crowd roars as one as Axis, Edwin, and King comment on Ced's entrance.

 

"(Axis) Listen to the ovation for Ced Ordonez!"

"(Edwin) He just last week called out Shawn Brody, saying that the Fallen Angel put some tarnish on the Television Title belt!"

"(King) And?  Just because he's smart enough to take control of his own destiny, everyone's jealous of him.  I'm not, because I could've done it better, but everyone else is."

 

The lights go down all over the arena as "Runaway" by Linkin Park kicks up. Suddenly, a blue spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp, where Mike Van Siclen stands, arms outstretched. The chorus of the song starts as MVS stands cockily.

 

"Now I find myself in question...

(You point the finger at me again...)"

 

The spotlight making Mike Van Siclen shine goes off, and the only thing in the arena is the sound of Linkin Park once more...

 

"Guilty by association...

(You point the finger at me again...)"

 

WHAM! A huge blast of white pyro goes off on the stage, illuminating Van Siclen in its glow. The lights come on, though dim, and Van Siclen walks down the ramp calmly, sliding in and posing on the left turnbuckles. After a few seconds he gets off his kick and walks around the ring, grabbing the mic from Funyon and beginning to speak.

 

"(Mike) Well, well, well, it looks like Mike Van Siclen is BACK… in Cleveland, Ohio!  (cheap gratuitous face pop.)  For yet one more time in my life, I am in the beautiful Gund Arena, home of the Cleveland Cavaliers.  And one more time in my life, I go head-to-head with Shawn Brody.  Brody… meh, I'll come back to you.  Ced Ordonez…"

 

The fans roar, an "OR-DON-EZ!" chant starting up, as Van Siclen looks either way, a smirk forming on his face as he raises the mic to his lips to speak once more.

 

"(Mike) Ced Ordonez, three, four days ago, on Crimson, Shawn Brody beat me.  Not only did he beat me, he turned my girlfriend against me.  And you know what, Ordonez, I could've handled that on my own.  I could've walked away from it, walked into this match, and harbored no emotions for you.  But then, Ced Ordonez, you did something I never asked you to do.  You went up to Shawn Brody, and you spoke your mind.  Now, I have nothing against free speech… it's guaranteed in our Constitution, and I'm all for it.  What I'm not all for, is another man sticking up for me.  And Ced, that's exactly what you did four days ago on Crimson.  So TONIGHT…"

 

A small, but noticeable "ASS-HOLE!" chant has started, and rather than ignore it, Mike decides to address it.

 

"(Mike) Where do you people get off, calling me an asshole?  I mean, I'm not the one that drove Art Modell out of Cleveland to Baltimore, am I?"

 

A whole crapload of boos, but MVS is on a roll now.

 

"(Mike) I'm not the drunk one that threw beer bottles on the field after my pathetic, piss-poor team lost, am I-"

 

The music of "Toxicity" by System of a Down cuts Mike Van Siclen off as a missile-like projectile shoots down from the ceiling, exploding on impact as it explodes into a giant mass of pyrotechnics at the top of the ramp. Toxicity's lyrics begin to kick up and smoke begins to conceal the curtains, making it impossible for anyone to spot anything on the ramp. As the lights in the arena come back on, the shadow of Erek Taylor blazes down the ramp. The arena erupts in cheers as Taylor grabs a mic tossed to him by a stagehand and begins to speak.

 

"(Erek) I realize my music already did this, but please, for the love of God, WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIT!"

 

A whole shitload of cheers here, as Erek begins to cut a promo on Mike Van Siclen.

 

"(Erek) Mike, jeez, shut up already.  I mean, you're right; you're not the one that drove Art Modell out of Cleveland.  And you're not the one that threw beer bottles onto the field after your team lost.  No, Mike Van Siclen, what you are is a complete waste, of time and space!  You need to bend down, and tie your shoelace!"

 

Mike quickly looks down at his boots, before realizing he's been had.

 

"(Erek) HA!  Made you look, bitch!"

 

The crowd erupts in cheers for the High-Flying Prince, as he continues to speak.

 

"(Erek) Now, while there's no disputing that you're gullible… because you are… and you'd believe me if I said gullible was written on the ceiling… eh, what the hell.  Hey, Mike, gullible's written on the ceiling!"

 

Mike defiantly stares at Erek, not daring to move his head upwards.

 

"(Erek) Meh, first time's a charm, I guess.  But anyways… you also said, and correct me if I'm mistaken, but you also said that Brody turned your girlfriend against you.  Now, Mike, I hate to break it to you, but Melissa?  She was a ditz, brother, and I can testify.  Unfortunately, our vault burned down, but allow me to remind you that in our match, a few weeks back?  Yeah, I hit on her too.  And two weeks ago?  Her and Kojack were sleeping together.  Week and a half ago?  I believe it was Cutthroat's turn.  Last week?  Yeah, that was "Deathwish" Danny Williams.  So you see, Mike Van Siclen, your precious ex-girlfriend, Melissa?  Damn, she got used more times than a remote control by a couch potato!"

 

The crowd erupts in cheers as Taylor charges down the ramp, the ref calling for the bell.

 

::: Ding Ding Ding :::

 

"(Axis) It took long enough, but we're off!"

 

Van Siclen and Brody charge each other immediately, in a scene reminiscent of their Stairway to Fuck match just four days earlier.  Brody gains the upper hand, putting Van Siclen into a hammerlock, but Mike reverses it and whips Brody into the ropes, catching him on the way back with a Drop Toe Hold.  Brody's face smashes into the mat, and Van Siclen starts to stomp away at Brody.  MEANWHILE, Ordonez and Taylor have locked up as well, Ordonez smashing Taylor with a brisk punch to the side of the face.  Taylor looks more than a bit irked, but Ordonez pays him no nevermind, slamming a knee into the Prince's gut!

 

"(Axis) Van Siclen and Brody lock up immediately and painfully, for Brody anyway, while Ordonez is dominating Taylor, which is rather surprising to this commentator.  Edwin, your th-"

"(King) Who cares about his thoughts?  Is he a former World Champion?  No, he's Edwin Freaking Macphisto.  For cripes' sake, he has red hair!  How cool can he be?"

"(Edwin) I'm offended by that…"

"(King) Go ream yourself, then."

 

Ordonez continues his dominating beatdown of Taylor, kneeing him in the gut again before driving him to the mat with a double axe handle!  The unusual behavior by Ordonez is booed at first, but this all changes when Ced springboards off of the second rope and hits Taylor with an elbow drop!  The crowd cheers the high-risk maneuver as Ced stands up, contemplating his next move as meanwhile, Van Siclen has ended his tirade of stomps on Brody.  He picks up the Fallen Angel, putting him into DDT position to try to set up the Impact DDT, but Brody grabs Van Siclen's leg and sweeps it, falling backwards in a modified Russian Leg Sweep and slamming MVS' face to the mat in the process.

 

"(Axis) Modified Russian Legsweep by Van Siclen, and a springboard elbow drop by Ced Ordonez!"

"(Edwin) Well, we're seeing a lot of power from these two competitors, but…"

"(King) But nothing.  They suck, and so do you.  Are they former SWF Champions?  No."

 

Van Siclen stays down this time, and when he looks up his nose is bleeding pretty freely.  He tries to stop the bleeding, but Brody zeroes in on that right away and kicks him in the face!  The crowd roars out in boos as Brody continues to lay the boots to MVS' face, re-opening several of his wounds left over from the Stairway match earlier as meanwhile, Ordonez is still thinking about what to do, before picking Erek up.  The two tie up again, Ordonez gaining the upper hand yet again with a slick backdrop.  He turns away from Erek, posing to the roaring fans, then turns around to get a faceful of Taylor fist!  Ced goes down like a sack of bricks as Taylor leaps on top of him, punching rapidly as the crowd still roars for the XF9er!

 

"(Axis) A bodydrop by Ced works, but not long enough, as Erek takes him out!  Also, Brody is laying the heavy boots to Van Siclen's face!"

"(Edwin) Brody is angry, folks, just as angry as Van Siclen was at him now!"

"(King) Quiet, you never-SWF-Champion you!"

 

Taylor stands up, slightly sweaty after his flurry on Ordonez, but not tired enough not to pose for his fans!  He goes through a bunch of muscle poses, smiling before turning back… to see a pissed-off Shawn Brody coming straight ahead.

 

"(Edwin) FULL SPEED AHEAD!"

 

Edwin is right, as Brody spears Taylor right over the ropes, going over himself!  He punches Taylor furiously on the outside, opening up a gash on the High-Flying Prince's face as well, while inside the ring, MVS and Ordonez slowly stir and get to their feet, looking at each other leery, as if to say, "What do we do now?"

 

"(Axis) Spear by-"

"(King) What a way for that young man to control his own destiny.  I applaud him.  (golf clap)."

"(Axis) Okay… Spear by Brody, opening Taylor up like a can of sardines!"

"(Edwin) Tell me one person who eats sardines.  Just one."

"(King) I do, and I'm a former SWF Champion.  You should go buy some sardines."

 

Inside the ring, MVS charges Ordonez, and Spears him before Ced can defend himself!  Mike rolls out, bouncing off the ropes and dropping an elbow on Ced's prone body as the crowd both boos  and cheers his split-second thinking.  Meanwhile, on the outside, Brody gets off of Taylor, allowing Taylor to get up before immediately hitting him with a beautiful Hurricanrana.  Brody gets up like nobody's business, rolling Taylor into the ring and then sliding in himself…

 

"(Axis) Taylor gets Hurricanranaed by Brody, while MVS just hit Ordonez with an Axceptional combo."

"(Edwin and King) Axceptional?"

"(Axis) I'm trying to make a cool allusion to my name."

"(Edwin) Oh."

"(King) That was lame."

"(Edwin) Most def."

 

Brody goes over to Ordonez, stomping on his fallen body while MVS moves onto bigger fish, namely, Erek Taylor, who is slowly getting to his feet.  MVS goes for an Impact DDT on Taylor, but Erek uses his momentum to shove MVS back into the buckle.  Taylor backs that arm up and WHACK!  Across Mike's chest, and WHOO! Goes the crowd.  WHACK!  Across Mike's chest, and WHOO! Goes the crowd.  WHACK!  Across Mike's chest, and WHOO! Goes the crowd.  Erek stops, and Mike does the slow TIIIIIIIM-BEEEEEER, falling down onto his stomach.  He struggles to get back up as, meanwhile, Brody continues to stomp at Ordonez before hauling him to his feet, looking for a reverse Fireman's Carry into Front-Face DDT (Angel Wings) combo, but Ordonez doesn't let Brody lock on the reverse fireman's carry, nailing Brody with a kick to the jaw when he tries!

 

"(Axis) Brody looking for the Angel Wings on Ordonez, but is denied!  Meanwhile, Erek slowly changing the pace against Van Siclen!"

"(Edwin) What can I say?  They're both golden!"

"(King) But do any… oh yeah, Taylor's Euro-Trash champion.  Nevermind."

 

MVS looks up, seeing Erek Taylor charging for him, looking for the stomach tackle!  Quickly, Van Siclen leapfrogs him, but wraps his legs around Taylor's waist and pulls back, rolling up the high-flying prince!  Mike has Taylor's shoulders clearly pinned to the mat as the ref drops down to count the fall!

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-" NO!  Ced Ordonez breaks up the count with a double axe handle to the back of Van Siclen, who tumbles over, breaking his hold on Taylor in the process.  Quickly, Ced makes the pin on Van Siclen.

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-NO!"

 

"(Axis) OH MY GOD!  Shawn Brody just made the save for Mike Van Siclen!"

"(Edwin) How odd is that!"

"(King) It's not 'odd', it's 'smart strategy'.  SM-ART… STRA-TE-GY… is that really that hard to understand?"

 

Brody hauls Ordonez to his feet and clubs him across the face, eliciting a series of boos as Ordonez goes down hard, nearly unconscious.  Van Siclen gets up quickly and gets in Brody's face, Shawn laughing and shoving Mike back.  This flares up Mike's already lit fuse, and Mike comes back with a hard shove to Brody.  Brody steps back, as if to say, "It's on, now," and then locks up with Van Siclen, the two trying to very nearly kill each other as Erek lifts Ordonez to his feet, the two locking up and Erek turning it into a back lockup, sending Ordonez crashing to the mat with a German suplex!

 

"(Axis) German Suplex on Ordonez, and Brody/Van Siclen has degenerated into a massive brawl!"

"(Edwin) You had to expect the Brody/Van Siclen tensions to flare up, but definitely NOT this early in the match!"

"(King) Shut up, you meaningless, worthless, non-championship-caliber… BOY!"

"(Edwin) OOOOOH!  YOU CALLIN' ME BOY!?!"

"(Axis) Is this a work?"

"(Edwin) But he called me boy…"

 

Ordonez gets right back up from the German by Taylor, the two locking up again.  Ordonez whips Taylor into the ropes, looking for a clothesline, but Taylor ducks it, forcing Ced to turn around into Erek jumping onto his chest!  Taylor chokes Ced with his right hand, his weight forcing Ordonez down to the mat as he beats furiously at Ced's head with his left!  Meanwhile, Van Siclen slowly gains the upper hand on Brody, hitting him with a vicious knee to the gut before putting him into position for the Crucifix DDT!  Fall back and… deliver, as Brody's head is certifiably scrambled!

 

"(Axis) CRUCIFIX DDT ONTO SHAWN BRODY!  FLYING MORALE ONTO CED ORDONEZ!"

"(Edwin) What a flurry by Erek Taylor and Mike Van Siclen.  As a matter of fact, what a Crucifix DDT!"

"(King) Bah… I could've done it better…"

 

MVS slides outside, taking advantage of Brody being down by grabbing an empty chair that sits next to Suicide King.  He slides it inside the ring, only to be met with a vicious forearm, care of Shawn Brody.  The two start trading punches.  As this is happening, Taylor is slowly gaining the advantage over Ordonez, whipping Ced into the ropes.  As Ordonez comes back, Taylor lifts him up and slams him down with a hard diving spinebuster!  He stands up, playing to the crowd while preparing for his next move…

 

"(Axis) Van Siclen and Brody exchanging punches, while Taylor just sent Ordonez CRASHING to the mat with a diving spinebuster!"

"(Edwin) Well, it's a splenderiffic match, but…"

"(King) But nobody cares about your opinion.  Are you a former World Champion?  No.  So kindly shut up."

 

MVS and Brody lock up, Van Siclen putting Brody into position for a DDT!  He raises his fist into the air, smiling for the benefit of the crowd before spinning 180*, grabbing Brody's long, blonde hair with his hand and slamming him face-first to the mat with a Code Red onto the chair!  As this is happening, Taylor picks up Ordonez, putting him into DDT position.  Slowly, he spins Ordonez around so that their backs face each other, with one of Taylor's arms around Ced's neck!  He raises the other arm in the air, posing for the crowd, as Van Siclen removes the chair from under Brody's bleeding face.  MVS floats the chair to Taylor, an easy throw that Taylor catches deftly, even one-handed…

 

BUT MVS KICKS THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO TAYLOR'S FACE!  The force of the blow sends both Taylor and Ced careening into the corner, sandwiching Ced between the buckle and Taylor!  The crowd roars as the two do the slow TIIIIIIIIIIIM-BEEEEEEEEER, Erek falling off slowly and Ordonez falling on top of him.

 

"(Axis) A CODE RED BY VAN SICLEN, FOLLOWED UP BY A VAN SICLENATOR INTO THE FACE OF TAYLOR!"

"(Edwin) Mike is proverbially cleaning out the proverbial house, if I do say so myself."

"(King) Are you proverbial, too?"

 

Van Siclen stands up, surveying his damage before doing a little golf-clap for himself in the middle of the ring, causing a big mess o' boos as he slides to the outside, reaching under the apron and introducing a ladder into play!  He slides the ladder into the ring, reaching under again and pulling out a table!  He sets the table up outside the ring, sliding back in and setting the ladder up as well.

 

"(Axis) WHY DOESN'T HE PIN SOMEONE!!!"

 

Mike appears to hear Axis, as he grabs Brody, rolling him over and pinning both of his shoulders to the mat.

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-" NO!  Power out by Brody!  Distraught, he slides over to Erek and goes for the pinfall.

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-" NO AGAIN!  Kickout by Erek!  By now a bit pissed at not thinking of this earlier, he slides over to Ced, hooking his leg and going, once again, for the fall.

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-" NO AGAIN!  Mike looks at the referee, shocked, as the ref holds up two fingers.

 

"(Axis) Van Siclen takes too long setting up a ladder and a table, and it may have cost him the match!"

"(Edwin) No kidding it may have cost him the match!"

"(King) What a fool…"

 

Brody is the first to get up, and he goes right after Van Siclen, trying to gain vengeance for the Code Red onto the chair.  He grabs MVS in a side headlock quickly, Bulldogging his arch nemesis to the mat with a loud THUD!  Meanwhile, Ced and Erek slowly stir, Ced barely getting to his feet first and looking for a Double Strike (snapmare/somersault), but Erek shoves out of the snapmare, pushing Ced into the ropes, and as he comes back backwards Erek catches him for (editor's note: gasp! a back suplex!

 

"(Axis) Back suplex on Ordonez, and a Bulldog on Van Siclen!"

"(King) Bulldogs are overrated… unless it's me doing it."

"(Edwin) What-EVER, Kingstah."

 

Brody picks up Van Siclen, whipping him into the ropes and catching him with a Drop Toe Hold of his own!  Brody rolls through, holding onto Van Siclen's legs and grabbing his arms, rolling back to put MVS in the Mexican Surfboard!  Mike screams in pain, and the ref asks him if he wishes to give up, but before he can answer Erek stomps him out of the hold!  Van Siclen rolls to the left, out of the way and out of the ring, too, as Erek picks up Brody and drives him straight to the mat with a One-Handed Bulldog!  Erek lands on his knees and quickly gets up as the two parties prepare to lock up again…

 

"(Axis) Brody nearly makes Mike Van Siclen quit, but Erek Taylor is right there for the save!"

"(Edwin) Erek Taylor may have retained the Euro Title with that save!"

"(King) No, to do that he'd have to pin or make someone submit."

 

Erek charges Brody, but Shawn side-steps and Erek guts himself on the turnbuckle!  Ced tries to Spear Shawn, but Brody sidesteps that, too, and Ced goes charging into the ropes, and then clotheslined over by Brody!  Shawn doesn't go over, however, as he goes to work on Taylor in the corner, with a mess of forearms, then a whip-and-pancake to the other turnbuckle!  Shawn lets up a bit, letting Erek catch his bearings as meanwhile, on the outside, Ordonez and Van Siclen lock up, dangerously close to the table, as Ordonez hits MVS with a Dragon Screw Legwhip!  Edwin groans at the non-table-breakage as Mike pops right back up to come back for more…

 

"(Axis) Dragon Screw Legwhip by Ordonez onto Mike Van Siclen, while Shawn Brody is owning Erek Taylor in the ring!"

"(Edwin) TAYLOR FEARZZZ BRODY!"

"(King) I thought you were the face color commentator!"

"(Edwin) I am, but hey, if TAYLOR FEARZZZ BRODY, then TAYLOR FEARZZZ BRODY!  I speak the truth."

 

Brody and Taylor lock up yet again inside the ring, Taylor looking to hit him with a stalling brainbuster, but as Erek puts him into a headlock Brody powers him into the ropes using his shoulder and his legs!  Meanwhile, Van Siclen grabs Ordonez and whips him into the ropes, following Ced and clotheslining both of them over!  They land dangerously close to the table, and Van Siclen puts Ced into a DDT position, looking for the Code Red on Ordonez!

 

"(Axis) Van Siclen looking for the Code Red on Ced Ordonez, while Brody narrowly misses being drilled with a stalling brainbuster!"

"(Edwin) What a-"

"(King) How do you know he was going to stall?  You don't, cuz you're a lamer face."

 

MVS raises his arm, assuming it's a foregone conclusion the he's going to Code Red Ordonez, but someone forgets to tell Ced that, because he shoves his head upward violently and breaks MVS' hold, nearly breaking Van Siclen's arm in the process.  Enraged, MVS tries to slug Ordonez in the face, but Ced calmly blocks it and punches Van Siclen in the jaw!  The two start to brawl as, inside the ring, Brody is pounding away at Taylor's head in the corner.  He smacks him with forearms consecutively, once, twice, thrice, and so on and so forth until Shawn has clubbed Erek in the face thirteen times in the forehead.  Erek is sliding down the ropes and Brody lets up, backing up to let Erek catch his breath.

 

"(Axis) Brody beating on Taylor with some ferocious forearms, while Ordonez is slowly turning the tide on Mike Van Siclen!"

"(Edwin) Very nice job of clubbing Taylor in the face, but I want to see a broken table!"

"(King) Bah… if you can win without breaking a table, don't waste the wood."

 

MVS and Ordonez lock up on the outside, Ordonez gaining the upper hand with a blow to Van Siclen's forehead.  Smiling, he roundhouse kicks Van Siclen, then hooks him for a suplex!  The crowd roars, realizing what Ordonez is doing, and roaring even louder as he Snap Suplexes Mike Van Siclen through the table!  Mike goes down and stays down as Ordonez goes for the cover, before realizing that this match is not falls count anywhere.  Meanwhile, Brody and Taylor lock up again in the ring, Brody hitting Taylor with a knee to the gut then hitting him with a reverse Fireman's Carry, turning it into a front-face DDT to complete the Angel Wings!

 

"(Axis) SNAP SUPLEX ON MIKE VAN SICLEN, THROUGH A TABLE!  AND THE ANGEL WINGS ON EREK TAYLOR!"

"(Edwin) A beautiful table-smash, if I do say so myself!  Smash this one!  Smash it!"

"(King) Do you want to be smashed?  Because, I could do that…"

 

Ordonez slides back into the ring, going wild and stomping Taylor!  He stomps, unrelenting, until the crowd start booing, at which point Ced knows he has gone to far and backs off a bit.  He lifts Erek to his feet, only to hit him with a Roundhouse Kick.  Meanwhile, Van Siclen slowly gets to his feet on the outside.  He smacks his head twice before sliding in, being met with a smash to the face by Shawn Brody.  The two lock up as the match enters its twentieth minute…

 

"(Axis) We've hit the twenty-minute mark, and still no champion has emerged!"

"(Edwin) If this was the WWF, this segment would've been cut off by a Stephanie McMahon promo seventeen minutes and fourteen seconds ago, the average time of a RVD squash or Test job!"

"(King) Shut up… allow me to do play-by-play.  A sweet combination by Ordonez onto Taylor, while MVS and Brody are really ripping each other to shreds!"

 

Taylor gets to his feet and locks up with Ced again, Ordonez getting the upper hand with a hard punch to the face of Erek.  Ced grabs the High-Flying Prince, whipping him into the ropes and hitting him with an armdrag that sends Taylor flying halfway across the ring!  Ordonez grabs Taylor and rolls him outside, sliding back into the ring with a smile on his face.

 

"(Axis) What is Ordonez going to do to Erek Taylor?"

"(Edwin) I can't say that I know, Axis, but it looks hurtalicious!"

"(King) Hurtalicious?  What the flying fuck is hurtalicious?"

"(Edwin) Don't you mock me, King, I've beaten you before… rrrr…"

 

Ordonez backs up a bit, sizing up Taylor and raising up one finger for the crowd before charging, leaping over the top rope and flying at Taylor with a forearm to the face!  Taylor falls back a ways, over the guardrail, having fallen victim to Ordonez' Tope Suicida!  Ordonez climbs over the guardrail and he and Taylor start brawling on the outside.  Meanwhile, on the inside, Van Siclen and Brody are brawling still, with Van Siclen gaining the upper hand.  He slams Brody angrily across the side of the face, opening up a gash that seems to make MVS hunger for more, as he slams Brody across the face again!

 

"(Axis) A beautiful Tope Suicida to Ced Ordonez, as well as a couple of hard slams to the face of Shawn Brody!"

"(Edwin) Ordonez just cleaned Taylor's clock!  13 o'clock no more!"

"(King) … Shut up."

 

Van Siclen grabs Brody's arms, crossing them and hooking them under his left arm!  With his right arm, he hooks Brody's right leg and falls back, causing Brody's back to hit the mat hard and wrenching his arms and legs, to boot!  Mike holds on to Brody's leg for the fall attempt!

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-" NO!  Power out by Brody.

 

"(Axis) Mike is trying desperately to gain vengeance on Brody, but it doesn't seem to be working!"

"(Edwin) Right on, Axis, Mike is having trouble keeping Brody down for the count!"

"(King) Well, Edwin, Brody doesn't like Van Siclen, plain and simple, and that hate is fueling his emotions, and, likewise, allowing him to power out of all of Van Siclen's moves."

 

Brody grabs MVS again, smiling widely as he hooks Van Siclen and slams him to the mat with an authorative T-Bone Suplex!  Smiling like a Cheshire cat, he picks Van Siclen up, running to the ropes and using them as a springboard!  His feet appear to be on a collision course with Van Siclen's stomach, but at the last second MVS ducks… and Brody's feet catch Ced Ordonez, who was watching from where he thought was a safe point, behind Van Siclen!  The awkward angle that Brody caught Ordonez at makes Brody go down and lose his breath, allowing Taylor to capitalize on the situation by pinning Ordonez!

 

"(Ref) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-" NO!  Broken by an axe handle to Taylor's back by Van Siclen!

 

Taylor gets up quickly and singles out Van Siclen, trying to hit him with a Diving Adelphia (Diving Forearm against the opponent's forehead), but MVS dodges and Taylor instead hits Shawn Brody!  Van Siclen, still a bit worn out from dodging two straight moves, runs right into a perfectly-placed Ced Ordonez roundhouse!  MVS goes down as Ordonez lifts him up and prepares for the finish!

 

"(Axis) THE END IS NEAR!"

"(Edwin) Can you… FEEEEEEEEEEL… the HEAT?"

"(King) No."

"(Edwin, having lost steam) …Oh…"

 

Ordonez gets Van Siclen into Rock Bottom position, holding up his other arm as the crowd roars!  He lifts his leg up extremely high, then sweeps it back, legsweeping MVS perfectly and sending him back-first into the mat with a Kaki Cutter S.T.O, or the Final Surge!

 

"(Axis) FINAL SURGE ON MIKE VAN SICLEN!"

"(Edwin) Oh, it's alllll over after that move!"

"(King) …No, it isn't.

 

Ordonez stands up, but Brody comes outta nowhere and kicks Ordonez in the stomach, putting him into a double underhook position, smiling and nodding at all the crowd as he lifts Ordonez up, completely vertical!  The crowd erupts in boos as Brody sits out, crushing Ced Ordonez' head with a double-underhook piledriver, which Brody calls the Descent!

 

"(Axis) DESCENT!  DESCENT ON CED ORDONEZ!"

"(Edwin) It's all over now!"

"(King) …No it isn't."

 

Brody stands up, surveying the damage he has done, when Erek Taylor, from behind, gets him into neckbreaker position and sits out… WHAM!  Fame and Fury, or a reverse Stunner, on Shawn Brody!

 

"(Axis) FAME AND FURY ON SHAWN BRODY!"

"(Edwin) Oh, now it's definitely all over!"

"(King) You keep saying that, and I keep telling you it isn't."

 

Erek Taylor stands up, now, confident of the victory, but what he doesn't expect is right behind him.  A hand, tapping him on the shoulder, and Taylor whirls around… to see Mike Van Siclen!  Somehow, with the time it took to execute the moves, he recovered, and he whips Taylor into the ropes, bending over for a back body drop and catching Taylor's legs as he goes over MVS, sitting out in a spiked back body drop, better known as the Van Slaminator!

 

"(Axis) VAN SLAMINATOR!  VAN SLAMINATOR!"

"(Edwin) Nobody has EVER kicked out of that move!  It's over!  It's over!"

"(King) Dammit, how do you know?"

"(Edwin, sighing) Leave it to King to poop on the party…"

 

King says it's not over, but he fails to tell a weary Van Siclen that, as he just barely manages to drape an arm over Shawn Brody's nearly-unconscious form!

 

"(Ref, with the crowd chanting at every number) ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T

H…"

 

"(Axis) COULD IT BE!?!"

 

"(Ref) R

E…"

 

"(Edwin) IS THIS VAN SICLEN'S RETRIBUTION!?!"

 

"(Ref) E…!"

 

::: Ding Ding Ding :::

 

The crowd explodes into cheers as Funyon struggles to get his next words out.

 

"(Funyon) The winner, via pinfall, and the NEW Smarks Junior League European Champion, the Amazin' one, MIIIIIIIIIIKE VA-AAAAAN SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC-LEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!"

 

"(Axis) MIKE VAN SICLEN GETS HIS RETRIBUTION ON SHAWN BRODY!"

"(Edwin) WHAT A MATCH!"

"(King) It was a fluke…"

"(Axis) Fluke it may have been, but in the end, Mike Van Siclen cleanly pins Shawn Brody to become the new European Champion!"

"(Edwin) Right on!"

"(King) At least I'm still a former World Champion…"

"(Edwin) Note the former!"

"(King) Were you ever World Champion?  No…"

"(Axis) Meh, coming up we have Mafia vs Xero!  Remember, we'll be right back with more IGNJL Metal RIGHT… AFTER… THIS!"

 

Fade to another Suicide King commercial, this time for his book "Breakin' Hearts and Taking Names: The Dude Love… oops, Suicide King Story."

[Guest crusen86]

The SJL is at the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio, for the first SJL show after the Australian Tour. We come in just after Funyon finishes an off-camera shill for JL and WF merchandaise, with the fans tearing into him in the process.  The pumped crowd, is set for the next match, and are coming off a European Title match between Erek Taylor, Shawn Brody, Ced Ordonez, and Mike Van Siclen.

 

“(Axis) Back on Metal, and we’re set for a great match, in the form of Mafia versus Xero. Edwin’s here.”

 

“(Edwin) Booyah.”

 

“(Axis) And our new broadcast colleague, The Suicide King, is also with us.”

 

“(SK) Former SWF World Champion.”

 

“(Edwin) We know.”

 

“(Axis) You don’t have to remind us at every turn.”

 

“(SK) Sure I do.”

 

“(Axis) You’re a moron.”

 

Loud static is heard through the sound system, and the lights completly fade to black. "Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins blasts through the sound system, and Xero walks out to a tremendous roar from the crowd, dressed in black karate pants with blood red stripes along the two sides..

 

“(Funyon) First, from Port Colborne…Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 204 pounds. XEEEROOOOO!”

 

Xero comes to a halt in the middle of the runway, and points up in the air as a plethora of fireworks explode behind him on the stage. The fireworks come to a stop, and Xero slides into the ring, crawling towards the corner, waiting for his Mafia.

 

“(Axis) Here’s Xero, who hasn’t won since his return to the JL. Doesn’t bode well, as Mafia has been on a roll, despite his two-match series versus Ced Ordonez, in which Ced got the best of him both times.”

 

“(SK) Yes, but I’ve held the SWF World Title. And there are two people here who haven’t. So who’s the moron now?”

 

As he leans into the corner, “War Machine” by KISS hits, as the lights turn dark once again. Flashes of light rain down onto the stage and runway, and Mafia walks out onto the stage into multiple spotlights, alongside his valet, Candra. Mafia’s trademark trenchcoat is highlighted by drops of water dripping from his hair, and from the lights above as he walks down the ramp, accompanied by the intro of Funyon.

 

“(Funyon) And, from Denver, Colorado, accompanied by Candra and weighing in at 215 pounds. MMAAAFIA!”

 

Mafia arrives to the ring and slides in, while Candra walks around the outside and claps. Mafia turns towards the nearest turnbckle and climbs up, outstretching his arms and spitting black mist into the air to a decent pop. He jumps off and takes a run towards the opposite turnbuckle, climbing up and repeating the process. Mafia hops down and takes off his jacket, throwing it to the outside, as the Referee signals for the bell.

 

*Ding Ding Ding *

 

“(Axis) You’re still the moron.”

 

“(Edwin) Should be a decent enough match….”

 

“(SK) Shutup, Edwin..”

 

Xero and Mafia circle each other, before they step toe to toe and Mafia takes a swing, slapping Xero across the face, inciting the crowd. Xero takes offense at the disrespect and callousness of Mafia, and he floors him with a hard punch to the jaw. Mafia bounces up off the mat, and his arm is grabbed by Xero. Xero pushes Mafia back into the ropes, before whipping him to the opposite side. Xero tries a high kick on the come back, ducked by Mafia. Mafia comes to a stop behind Xero, and Xero spins around, catching a hard Clothesline by Mafia.

 

“(SK) Good move by Mafia. That slap is an old technical maneuver invented by Buddy Rogers.”

 

“(Axis) Somehow I doubt that.”

 

Xero comes up off the mat, and locks arms with Mafia in the collar-elbow tieup, before Mafia gets behind him with a waistlock, and attempts to take him down to the mat. Mafia tries once, but can’t muscle him over. Mafia tries twice, and still can’t take him down. Mafia cuts his losses and goes for a German Suplex, lifting Xero up and tossing him behind his head. Xero lands on his feet though, and grabs the head of Mafia from behind, jumping back and planting him with an Inverted Xfactor. He goes for a three, the first pin attempt of the match.

 

“(Axis) Pin attempt!”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“(Axis) Shoulder up by two!”

 

“(SK) I would’ve gotten a three.”

 

“(Edwin) Yeah, right.”

 

Mafia picks himself up off the mat, and Xero does the same. Both get to their feet, and Xero tries for a Back Hook Kick. Mafia promptly ducks, and hooks the leg of Xero, transitioning smoothly into a Single Leg Crab. Mafia wrenches the leg, and Xero fights towards the ropes. Xero screams and finally reaches, and Mafia lets go. Mafia stands, and stomps away without care to the leg of Xero, and Xero slides out of the ring to escape. Mafia follows, and quickly kicks Xero straight into the back of his knee. Mafia waits until Xero stands, and he gets set for the kick again, but Xero hops onto the apron beforehand, rolling into the ring. Mafia slides in after, and goes for a pin, making sure to hook the leg.

 

“(Axis) A pin by Mafia!”

 

“one”

 

“Tw---

 

“(Axis) One and a half!”

 

“(SK) I would’ve gotten a three.”

 

“(Edwin) Stop saying that.”

 

“(SK) Bite me.”

 

Mafia follows up, lifting Xero up by his head, and delivering a right hand. He forces him into the corner, and Xero tries to shake off a helping of Flair’s patented chops, before Mafia lets him out. His chest beet red, Mafia gives him Dropkick into the chest, knocking Xero through the ropes, and onto the apron. Mafia backs off at the Referee’s heed, and Xero climbs back into the ring. As soon as he does, Mafia takes a small charge, attempting a knock down. Xero sees it coming though, and back body drops Mafia over the ropes and down to the floor.

 

“(Axis) You are so damn annoying, King. Even more so than Edwin.”

 

“(Edwin) Hey!”

 

“(SK) Your point being? I think you should learn to live with it.”

 

Xero climbs through the ropes, and stands over Mafia on the apron, waiting for him to stand up off the outside floor. Mafia does, and Xero takes a small run, leaping off the apron and taking Mafia over with the Headscissors. The snap effect of the move, whips Mafia headfirst into the steps, and he clutches his neck. Xero though, is really no better off, as he sits on the floor, shaking out the damage to his knee and catching a breather. Finally, Xero makes his way off the floor, and moves over towards Mafia, to pick him up and throw him into the ring. Back in the ring, and Xero in control, whips Mafia into the ropes. Mafia comes back, and catches a knee shot in the abdomen. Mafia crouches over and holds his gut, as Xero takes a few steps back, before dropping Mafia down with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Mafia sells the neck once more, before Xero drops down and places Mafia in a Sleeper. Mafia fades away, as Candra tries to cheer Mafia on from the outside.

 

“(SK) Yeah, honey. Shake it.”

 

“(Axis) Asshole. Anyhow, Mafia had best get out of this soon, or else it’s lights out.”

 

“(SK) What a cliched term. I thought you were supposed to be a professional announcer.”

 

“(Axis) I kn---“

 

“(SK) So act like one.”

 

“(Edwin) Dudes, we can break the tension with a good game of Battleship.”

 

“(Axis) Now is not the time.”

 

Mafia finally breaks away from Xero’s hold, with a well-placed mule kick square in the crotch. Mafia, taking the initiative, grabs Xero into an Inverted DDT Hold, and quickly spins 180 degrees, finally driving down Xero into the mat with the inside of his arm. Mafia, slightly winded, takes a small breather before rushing over for the pin.

 

“(Axis) Mafia busts out the Problem Solver, otherwise known as The Nightmare on Helms Street, and we’ll see if Mafia can get it here.”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“(Axis) Kickout. Mafia caught a lucky break with that one, but no three count regardless.”

 

“(SK) Well. No shit. As if I couldn’t see it with my own two eyes.”

 

Mafia stands up off the mat, and gets visibly upset, as he goes for the leg of Xero, stomping away at it, and further damaging it. Mafia then bends down and grabs the legs of Xero, seemingly wanting to go for the Walls of Jericho. Xero though, fights out of it, and suddenly flips Mafia over, going for a pin.

 

“(Axis) Surprise pin!”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“THR---“

 

“(Axis) Shoulder up! That one came out of nowhere.”

 

“(Edwin) But it’s Battleship! No one ever turns down this game. It’s fun.”

 

“(SK) Shut your hole. I’d never want to play Battleship with you anyway.”

 

Mafia rolls off the mat, and appeals to the Ref, but Xero comes off the mat as well. As Mafia turns around to turn his attention towards the match, he’s met with a leaping Xero, who hooks Mafia’s head with his arm. Mafia is snapped around, and Xero plants him with the Tornado DDT. Mafia is seemingly out, as Xero goes for a pin.

 

“(Axis) It’s over.”

 

“(Edwin) I call, B-3.”

 

“(Funyon) BwOOM! You sunk my battleship!”

 

“(Axis) Can you please turn your attention back towards the match. Xero has a pin.”

 

“(Edwin) Xero has a what now?”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“THR---“

 

“(Axis) Candra put Mafia’s foot on the bottom rope!”

 

“(SK) Oh, God, No! As if cheating in a match is unheard of. Just like every other announcer out there.”

 

“(Axis) For the last time….”

 

Back in the ring, as Xero glares down at Candra. Mafia begins getting up to his feet, as Xero turns back around. Mafia tries for a Spinning Heel Kick, looking to take Xero’s head off. Xero grabs the leg, and throws Mafia off. Xero tries for a kick of his own, specifically a Superkick, quickly ducked by Mafia. Mafia grabs the leg of Xero, and Mafia sets up for the Single Leg Crab, but instead turns around, and grabs the other leg, deciding to set up the Walls of Jericho. Xero struggles to the ropes, but with damage done to his leg previously, decides to cut his losses.

 

“(Axis) Walls of Jericho! Xero taps!”

 

*Ding Ding Ding *

 

The Referee signals for the bell, and “War Machine” kicks up, as Mafia gets his hand raised by the Referee, before telling the Ref to raise his other arm. Candra slides into the ring to celebrate, but Mafia slides out, jumping up and down frantically while yelling, celebrating his win. Candra stands for a second dumbfounded, before she walks up the ramp after Mafia.

 

“(Axis) What. The. Fuck? Mafia gets the win by Submission, but has broken away from his often quiet demeanor. And Candra gets left behind in the ring, as Mafia continues to celebrate on the top of the stage. Despite the fact, that she played a crucial role in the match.”

 

“(SK) Top notch win for my favoite wrestler named Mafia. But I probably would have finished the match off with an Ankle Lock.”

 

“(Axis) An Ankle Lock is NOT a finisher!”

 

“(Edwin) Hey, guys. I just destroyed Funyon in Battleship.”

 

“(Axis) Yes. Well, up next is Edwin’s bastard child of a match, to determine the number one and two contenders to Shawn Brody’s TV Title. It’s The Dark Reaper, Kojack, and Cutthroat in a triple something or other.”

[Guest crusen86]

SK: Well we are back and I am about to grace this match with my awsome commentary.

 

Edwin: What an idiot..

 

Axis: Any ways. We are about to start a number one contenders match for the T.V title. Cutthoart  vs Dark Reaper vs Kojack.

 

SK: Well Edwin you are jealous because I am better than you.

 

Edwin: No I am..

 

SK: Nope! I am better and thatfs final! PEROID!

 

Edwin: I AM BETTERc

 

SK: PEROID!

 

Axis: *sigh

 

*The crowd goes wild as they hear gMY Wayh by Linkin Park. Then Cutthoart comes out and walks down the ramp. Cutthoart jumps into he ring with his hands in the air as his music is cut off. Then Funyon is about to announce Cutthoartfs entrance but then P.O.D Boom comes out.  Funyon then pulls down his mic and walks away. Kojack runs into the ring and starts talking to Cutthoart about strategy as control by puddle of mudd comes out of the speakers.

 

Axis: Well the boys in the back were a little lazy and havenft down any of the pyro or the light shading.

 

Edwin: Lazy boys.

 

SK: Like you Edwin?

 

Edwin: Son of a..

 

Axis: STOP IT! We are all grown ups.

 

SK: Another one is jealous because I am better and I held the world title! You havenft Axis.

 

Axis: WHY YOU LITTLEc

 

They all stop there arguing when the bell is rung and the match begins.

 

Ding, Ding, Ding.

 

Kojack and Cutthoart go side to side as The Dark Reaper looks confused. Then both men charge Reaper and knock him down with a double clothesline. They both start stomping Reaper non-stop as Reaper turtles up. Kojack picks Reaper up and gives him a punch in the face. Kojack hits another one as Cutthoart joins in. Reaper staggers after every punch and eventually staggers into the ropes and bounces back to hit both men with a clothesline. All of the men quickly get up and begin to punch but Reaper fends them off. The Dark Reaper throws Kojack into the ropes as Cutthoart comes out of no where and knees Reaper in the gut. Kojack comes back and lifts his knee for a knee strike in the face of Reaper. Reaper goes on one knee and checks his nose for blood but is knocked down again but the fierce stomps of Cutthoart and Kojack.

 

Axis: The number game is working tonight.

 

Edwin: Well I have to say that Kojack and Cutthoart have an awesome plan to win tonight.

 

SK: I like that Kojack. He can strut just as good as me! He is also one cocky kid.

 

Axis: Well The Dark Reaper is getting no rest from those boots.

 

Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up and scoops him in the air. Then Kojack drops Reaper right on the back for a scoop slam. Cutthoart holds Reaper down as Kojack runs to the ropes and jumps up and lands his feet on the second ropes. Kojack springs right back and extends his leg on the way down for a spring board drop kick on the throat of Reaper. Kojack rolls away as Cutthoart goes for the pin.

 

One, T..

 

Axis: Kick out! Well Reaper is in some deep trouble now.

 

SK: This is a very good match. Not as good as the match that I won the World title though.

 

Edwin: Well The Dark Reaper needs to get some offence in and eliminate one of these two men.

 

Cutthoart pulls Reaper to his feet as Kojack comes beside Reaper. Both men put their heads under Reaper and grabs the side of his pants. They pull back and lift Reaper up for a double suplex. Kojack goes down and wraps his hand around the throat of Reaper for the choke. The ref manages to peel Kojack off and gives him a warning. Kojack walks away from the ref and starts trash talking to Reaper as Cutthoart pulls Reaper up. Cutthoart pulls back his arm and swings it forward for a punch but it is blocked and sent right back and hits him in the face. Kojack comes forward and tries a punch but it is blocked and sent right back too. The Dark Reaper goes in high gear and punches both men and swing Kojack into the ropes and hits him with the massive clothesline on the way back. The Dark Reaper grabs Cutthoart and scoops him up and drops him for the scoop slam. Kojack gets back up and is met by the foot of The Dark Reaper and is lifted in the air and dropped down for a suplex. Cutthoart gets back up and is whipped into the ropes and The Dark Reaper goes down. Cutthoart is launched high in the air and comes back with a big boom from a back body drop from Reaper.

 

Axis: WHAM! Cutthoart got launched from the Dark Reaper.

 

SK: I would of landed on my feet.

 

Edwin: Whatever.

 

SK: Will the jealous people please stand to the right.

 

Edwin: Grrrrr..

 

Axis: Well The Dark Reaper is finally getting some offence in this match.

 

Kojack comes back up and feels the hard fists of The Dark Reaper hitting his face. Kojack manages to push in a few punches but is over powered by the Dark Reaper. The Dark Reaper winded up for the final punch but was cut off my a charging Cutthoart who knocked The Dark Reaper from behind with an elbow. Then the number game once more began, as Cutthoart and Kojack started raging with stomps on The Dark Reaper. Kojack roughly pulled The Dark Reaper up and wrapped his arms around the waist of The Dark Reaper. Then Kojack tighten his hold and made a bear hug. Kojack started to squeeze the air out of The Dark Reaper as Cutthoart looked on. Kojack yelled a command at Cutthoart as The Dark Reaper stayed still. Cutthoart bounced off the ropes and jumped into mid-air to extend his arm and hit The Dark Reaper with a clothesline and Kojack let go of the bear hug for smooth transition. The Dark Reaper slowly got up as both men waited like vultures. Cutthoart charged The Dark Reaper first and was sent to the outside as Kojack tried to take advantage but was once again over powered by the fists of The Dark Reaper. The Dark Reaper grabbed the throat of Kojack and lifted him in the air. Then The Dark Reaper threw Kojack away like a dirty Kleenex. Kojack came right back up and hit a few right hands before getting the knee in the gut. Then The Dark Reaper  took advantage of the bending over Kojack and hit destroyer. Kojack goes down hard on impact of the legs to the back of the head as The Dark Reaper goes for the pin.

 

One, Tw..

 

Axis: Look! Cutthroat pulled The Dark Reaper out of the ring.

 

Edwin: Damn!

 

SK: Well The Darker Reaper is good but he will never be as good as me.

 

Axis: Good Grief..

 

Cutthoart welcomes The Dark Reaper with a few stiff shots to the jaw of The Dark Reaper. Then The Dark Reaper feels the cold steel as Cutthroat throws The Dark Reaper into the stairs. Cutthroat slides back into the ring as Kojack goes up on top. The Dark Reaper slowly gets up and looks up the see a blurry object coming right at him. This object is Kojack who hits the dive to the outside. Both men go down as Cutthroat exits the ring and approaches The Dark Reaper and throws him in the ring. Cutthroat hits a few stomps before pulling The Dark Reaper up to his feet. Then Cutthroat twists the Dark Reaper around and grabs a hold of his neck and drops down for a neck breaker. The Dark Reaper is once again stomped as Kojack enters the ring and lifts The Dark Reaper up in the air. Kojack shows his strength and holds The Dark Reaper in the air before slamming him down for a press slam.

 

Axis: WHAM! RIGHT IN THE MAT HE GOES!

 

Edwin: Thatfs gotta hurt.

 

SK: Like that jealously eating away at your mind.

 

Edwin: Uhh yeahc

 

Axis: Wait! Dark Reaper is fighting back and using his strength!

 

The Dark Reaper uses his strength and starts pushing both men. Kojack goes for the charge but is flipped to the outside. Cutthoart tries to take on The Dark Reaper but is caught on his charge and grabbed by his neck. Then The Dark Reaper gets a tight grip on Cutthoartfs neck with both of his hands and lifts him into the air. The Dark Reaper holds him but for a bit and then sends him crashing into the canvas with a Death Bomb. Cutthoart lies there still as The Dark Reaper uses his strategy and tries to take out Kojack so the evens are fair. Kojack tries to go for a punch but misses by a mile and smashes his hand against the steel. Kojack yells in pain as The Dark Reaper kicks Kojack in the gut. Then Kojack is thrusted between The Dark Reaperfs legs and hoisted into the air. Then the crowd goes wild as Kojack is driven into the concrete with a Diving Powerbomb. Kojackfs body is completely still but mangled as The Dark Reaper goes back into the ring. Cutthoart slowly gets back onto his feet and charges The Dark Reaper and hits a few right hands. The Dark Reaper comes right back with a few of his own and sends Cutthoart down with one. Cutthoart is blasted into the ropes and comes right back with full speed and extends his fist out and catches The Dark Reaper right on the jaw with a uppercut that is called Slice Punch. Cutthoart quickly covers The Dark Reaper.

 

One, Two, Th..

 

Axis: Not Yet! Well Kojack looks like he is taken out on the outside.

 

SK: That gotta hurt.

 

Edwin: Well I have to put my money on The Dark Reaper. He is just itching for a title shot.

 

Cutthoart pulls up The Dark Reaper and leaves him standing. The ropes jiggle as Cutthoart bounces off them and jumps into the air with his legs extended for a wheel kick right in the face of The Dark Reaper. The crowd goes wild as Cutthoart goes up on the top. Cutthoart takes a deep breath and then jumps off and does a flip in mid-air for a shooting star press. Cutthoart feels the canvas as The Dark Reaper rolls out of the way to safety. The Dark Reaper is the first to get up and starts stomping Cutthoart. The Dark Reaper pulls Cutthoart to his feet and gives him a kick into the gut. Then The Dark Reaper wraps his arm around Cutthoartfs head and drops back. Cutthoartfs legs go high in the air as he is spiked DDT. The Dark Reaper does a lateral press on Cutthoart for the pin.

 

One, Two, T..

 

Axis: NO! It was a kick out.

 

SK: That Dark Reaper is never going to be half as good as me. Ifm putting my money on Kojack.

 

Edwin: Typical.

 

SK: Heh. Jealous.

 

The Dark Reaper grabs Cutthoart and pulls him to his feet. Cutthoart eye rakes The Dark Reaper and goes for a clothesline but it is ducked. Then The Dark Reaper places his head under Cutthoartfs arm and grabs him and lifts him in the air and sends him crashing on the back of his head for The Judgement Slam.

 

Axis: JUDGEMENT SLAM! ITfS GOING TO BE OVER!

 

Edwin: That came out of nowhere!

 

One, Two, Thre..

 

Axis: NO! Kojack came back and pulled The Dark Reaper out of the ring.

 

SK: Smart Move by my man Kojack.

 

Edwin: Donft count the Dark Reaper out just yet.

 

Kojack punches The Dark Reaper and slams his head into the ring post. Then Kojack throws The Dark Reaper in the ring and slides in himself. The Dark Reaper feels the boot of Kojack against his ribs by stomps. Kojack pulls The Dark Reaper up and swings him into the ropes. On his way back, The Dark Reaper is lifted into the air and slammed right down with a powerslam. Kojack gets right back up and doesnft go for the pin but goes on the top rope for a high-risk move. Kojack jumps off and extends his elbow and hits it right in the heart of The Dark Reaper. Kojack rolls around a bit in pain but manages to cover The Dark Reaper but not hooking the leg.

 

One, Two, Thr..

 

Axis: KICK OUT! Kojack couldnft hook that leg.

 

Edwin: That could of sealed the deal.

 

SK: HAHAHA. These three men are just going crazy to get a minor belt shot.

 

Cutthoart gets up and he and Kojack start doing a move frenzy. First Cutthoart starts it but with a massive side walk slam and Kojack quickly pulls up The Dark Reaper and kicks him right in the face with a thrust kick. That is followed by a Manhattan Drop by Cutthoart and then a DDT by Kojack. Cutthoart finishes this up by punching The Dark Reaper to the near turnbuckle and sits on the top rope. Then Cutthoart jumps off and spins around and hits a Twizter. The Dark Reaper slides to the far turnbuckle and Cutthoart crawls for the pin as Kojack turns his back and insults the crowd.

 

One, Two, Thre..

 

Axis: He grabbed the ropes!

 

Edwin: Look Kojack thinks he won this match!

 

SK: NO NO! Turn around you idiot!

 

The ref tells Kojack that The Dark Reaper grabbed the ropes. Kojack yells a bit to the ref and goes back to work with Cutthoart. Both men hit a few punches and then sends him into the rubber ropes. The Dark Reaper jumps in the air on his return and extends both arms to his left and right. He hits both men with a flying clothesline and sends them down. The Dark Reaper grabs Kojack up pulls him up in a flash. Then The Dark Reaper choke tosses Kojack into the corner and assaults him with a fury of fists. Cutthoart manages to take advantage but not for long as The Dark Reaper powers out all of Cutthoartfs attempts of getting some damage in and hits him with a stunning bear hug slam. Kojack slowly walked out of the corner very woozily as The Dark Reaper lifted Kojack up onto his shoulder. Then with Kojackfs head pointing to the floor, The Dark Reaper went down and hit a Rikishi Driver on Kojack. The Head and neck of Kojack twisted on impact. The Dark Reaper goes for the pin on the sore Kojack.

 

One, Two, Thre.

 

Axis: NO! NOT YET! Cutthoart breaks up the pin.

 

Edwin: The Dark Reaper needs to really take on of these guys out to make it fair.

 

SK: HAHAHA! Smart Strategy by Kojack and Cutthoart.

 

Axis: Well the number game always ends up working.

 

Cutthoart is punching away but The Dark Reaper gets his powerful knee to stop the punching fest. Then The Dark Reaper throws Cutthoart to the outside and grabs Kojack. The Dark Reaper gives a normal DDT on Kojack and goes up to the top rope. Then The Dark Reaper goes flying and stretches out his body for a frog splash. The Dark Reaper finds mat as Kojack rolls out of the devastating finisher. Cutthoart takes advantage of the fallen Dark Reaper and sets him up on the top rope. Kojack goes up to smashes The Dark Reaper with a few forearms. Then Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up for a suplex and Cutthroat get under Kojack to make it a super superplex. A massive impact happens with The Dark Reaper getting the worse of it. Cutthoart and Kojack both get the arm slightly on The Dark Reaper for the pins.

 

One, Two, Three?

 

Axis: WAIT! NO! KICK OUT!

 

SK: DAMNIT! I want The Dark Reaper to loose!

 

Edwin: WOW! A Heart OF A CHAMPION!

 

SK: He is never going to get gold though.

 

Axis: What a match and all three men want that shot.

 

The ref goes over to Kojack to help him up but Kojack pushes the ref into the corner and knocks him out. Then Kojack slowly gets up and so does Cutthoart. They both pull up The Dark Reaper and look to finish it off. Cutthoart goes up on the top rope and waits as Kojack puts the Dark Reaper between his legs. IN a flash, The Dark Reaper is lifted up and driven into the mat with a thunderous Jack Bomb. The Dark Reaper also feels the body of Cutthoart smash into his body with a 450 splash. Cutthoart rolls away in pain s Kojack goes for the pin. The ref is still not moving so the pin doesnft work. Kojack slams the mat in frustration.

 

SK: DAMN LAZY REF! GET UP!

 

Edwin: Well Kojack knocked the ref out. Serves him right.

 

Axis: Well The Dark Reaper was absolutely destroyed by those two moves. Ouch!

 

SK: BAH! DAMN REFS!

 

Edwin: The Dark Reaper catches a big break there.

 

Kojack shakes the ref as Cutthoart starts stomping on The Dark Reaper. Then the crowd goes wild as Cutthoart sees Mike Van Siclen running into the ring. MVS starts punching Cutthoart and backs up and hits the Van Siclenator on Cutthoart.

 

Axis: ITS MVS! MVS!

 

Edwin: WHAT A MOVE!

 

SK: WHAT!?! WHY IS HE HERE! DAMNITT!

 

Kojack fights back against MVS but MVS over powers Kojack. Then Kojack is whipped into the ropes and then is lifted high into the air and lands spiked and hard from a Van Slaminator! But Kojackfs foot hits MVS in the back of the head as Kojack lands on Cutthoart. MVS goes down as The Dark Reaper is still knocked out from that combo before. Kojack is lying on Cutthoart as the ref sees that as a pin.

 

One, Two, Three!

 

Axis: ITS OVER! What a strange finish!

 

Edwin: Bizarre but Kojack and The Dark Reaper are the contenders!

 

SK: Blast that Mike Van Siclen but still my man Kojack won!

 

Edwin: Mine got the..

 

SK: SILIENCE!

 

Edwin: BAH!!

 

SK: QUIET YOU!

 

MVS gets up and looks in disbelief that he actually made Kojack win. MVS looks with fire in his eyes and pulls Kojack up. Then MVS hits a code red on the tired Kojack and goes up on top. The crowd goes wild as MVS goes soaring off and hits the Siclen Gambit. Then MVS quickly gets up and flips Kojack over and locks in The Van Siclenmission on Kojack. Kojack yells in pain and taps out as MVS locks in it. Kojack is in deep pain as other refs come out and try to peel Kojack off.

 

Axis: MVS HAS SNAPPED!

 

Edwin: Revenge for last show.

 

The refs manage to peel MVS off as Kojack is still in pain. The crowd pops again as Run Away by Linkin Park goes up on the speakers.

 

Edwin: Well Stay tuned bec..

 

SK: LET ME SAY IT! Stay tuned and see more of me and these other matchesc. NEXT!

 

*Fades to commercial.

[Guest crusen86]

SJL Metal has just gone to a commercial break following the gruelling TV Title contendership match between Cutthroat, The Dark Reaper and Kojack, and the crowd are busying themselves until the show returns, some sitting there patiently, some talking with other excited SJL fans about the great action they’ve seen and the remaining matches on the card, others going to concession stands, purchasing food, souveniers and other such items. Meanwhile down at the announce table, the three amigos of Edwin MacPhisto, Axis and the Suicide King busy themselves as well before the show returns. Axis is shuffling his notes, preparing for the rest of the show like the true professional he is. Edwin is over by the barrier hurridly calling for a vendor to get him a mid-show snack, while the Suicide King is fiddling with something, looking rather shady and suspicious while doing it.

 

Edwin: “Hey! Vendor chap, come over here. Now, what do we have here tonight? Do you have a strawberry daiquiri by any chance?”

 

Vendor: “Uh, I don’t think so.”

 

Axis: “You dolt Edwin, they don’t have stuff like that here. They have hot dogs and ice cream and stuff like that.”

 

Edwin: “Well fine Mr. I’m a smart know it all Australian type person, I guess I’ll have some ice cream. I like ice cream.”

 

Axis: “Well that’s good. Get me a vanilla one.”

 

Edwin: “Vanilla? Oh your so boring Axis, get some flavour into you. Why me, I’ll have a rainbow colour one, all the colours of the rainbow.”

 

King: “Heh heh heh, yes, this’ll show him.”

 

Edwin: “What are you mumbling about over there?”

 

King: “Oh, nothing. You pompous English gasbag.”

 

Edwin: “I heard that.”

 

King: “You were meant to hear that.”

 

Axis: “Now now, lets not fight.”

 

King: “Don’t worry, I’ll be good. Muahaha. Now go get your ice cream Axis.”

 

Axis: “Uh, ok.”

 

Axis goes over to Edwin to pick up his product of dairy goodness, giving King just the opportunity he needs.

 

King: “The fools, time to put my plan to fruition.”

 

The Suicide King sneaks over to Edwin’s seat and places something on it, sneaking back before the commissioner can notice. Edwin and Axis return, eating their ice cream.”

 

Edwin: “This is deliciously delectable ice cream, this should tide me over quite nicely.”

 

Edwin goes to sit down, but observes the item on the chair.

 

Edwin: “A thumbtack?”

 

King: “Blast! Foiled again!”

 

Edwin: “Now come on, I expected more from a supposed evil genius like yourself.”

 

King: “Grrr, I’m still better than you, I don’t see your name down as an SWF Heavyweight champ.”

 

Edwin: “Yes, we got the idea the first 3000 times you said it you bugglefud.”

 

King: “Bugglefud?! Why I ought to…”

 

Axis: “Come now lads, the show’s about to come back on, lets get ready. No more little pranks King.”

 

King: “Of course not Axis.” * King quickly hides his ‘Big Bag of Devious Tricks’ under the table. *

 

Axis: “Welcome back to SJL Metal fans, we’ve had a…”

 

Before Axis can finish is standard shill line the lights go off in the arena, both the fans and the announcers confused as to what’s going on.”

 

Axis: “Who turned off the lights?”

 

Edwin: “Oooh, it’s spooky.”

 

As everybody wonders what’s happening, “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit kicks up, and 4 blue fireworks blast up from across the stage, followed by 4 silver fireworks blasting up a moment later. Finally a huge blue pyro erupts from the middle of the entrance, a wall of sparks and smoke enveloping the entrance.

 

Axis: “I guess somebody’s making their way out.”

 

King: “Good work Einstein.”

 

Edwin: “Calm down sarcastic Sam. Now, if my commissionary powers of deduction are accurate, I can’t say I recognise this entrance, so it’s a mystery to me as to what we’ll see. Hey, I just made a rhyme! Go me!”

 

It doesn’t take long for them to find out who’s coming out, as the smoke and sparks clear, leaving a man standing on top of the entranceway.

 

Axis: “Wait a second, that’s not…”

 

Edwin: “It couldn’t be, he’s supposed to be gone…”

 

King: “It’s Stryke!”

 

Stryke stands on top of the entrance, his first time in an IGNJL/SJL arena for over 2 months. The sight of the Australian back in the Gund Arena is a shock to everybody, the fans, the announcers, the wrestlers in the back, and even the smart fans on Internet Message Boards. Stryke has a microphone in hand, and still standing on top of the stage, motions for his music to be cut. He lets the crowd hush before moving the mic to his lips and getting ready to speak.

 

Stryke: “Guess who’s back.”

 

With that a large roar comes up from the crowd, obviously happy to have one of the biggest JL stars back in the fed.

 

Axis: “I guess Stryke has returned.”

 

Edwin: “Well that’s all fine and dandy, except for the little fact that he’s retired forever from the JL. And unless my definition is a little off, forever is a lot longer than 2 months.”

 

King: “Well he’s an Australian, so that explains why he’s not that bright.”

 

Axis: “Now wait just a second King, I…”

 

King: “Oh put a pipe in it convict boy, let the man speak.”

 

Stryke again lets the crowd noise die down, before continuing on.

 

Stryke: “Back once again in the Gund Arena, Cleveland Ohio. Can’t say I missed this shithole one bit.”

 

Any thoughts the crowd had of cheering Stryke quickly go down the toilet, and the boos Stryke’s accustomed to resonate forth from the crowd.

 

Stryke: “How are those Cavs going by the way?”

 

A smile comes across Stryke face as the fans once again boo their hearts out.

 

King: “Insulting the home town and the local sports team, somebody’s been doing their heel research. He must read the Guidebook on how to be a good Heel.”

 

Axis: “There’s an actual heel guidebook?”

 

Edwin: “I’ll bet your subscribed to it King.”

 

King: “Subscribed? Hell, I’m on the cover!”

 

King reaches down into his ‘Big Bag of Devious Tricks’ and pulls out a copy, handing it to Edwin. Edwin looks at the cover, and sees the image of the Suicide King, complete with heelish wink and grin.

 

Edwin: “Well what do you know, you are.”

 

King: “See, I have my own book, yet another way I’m superior to you.”

 

Edwin: “Yes, I guess you are.” * While King focuses his attention back on Stryke, Edwin pulls out a black pen, and starts to make a few ‘additions’ to the cover. *

 

As the crowd dies down, Stryke again speaks up.

 

Stryke: “Now then, I know you Cleveland types aren’t too smart * more boos *, so I’ll give you a quick refresher course into why exactly I’ve been gone all this time.”

 

The Smarkstron kicks up, showing footage of the last JL main event of the IGN era, the Stairway to He.ll match between Stryke and Low Brass.

 

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

 

Brass has almost a possessed look on his face, and looks to continue the assault on Stryke, despite the fact he’s almost completely out, and could easily be pinned. He goes to the ladder and moves it out of the way, knocking it over to the side of the ring furthest from the double stack of tables. The crowd is cheering as Brass drags Stryke across to the ropes, with him barely able to stand on his own, and takes him through the ropes, standing him up on the apron, with Brass still in the ring. As the crowd noise grows in anticipation, Brass applies a full nelson on Stryke, preparing for the Brass Monkey. Low Brass lifts the weak Stryke up high, before tossing him forward, Stryke crashing through the two tables in a tremendous impact, the variation of Brass’s finisher finishing the match for certain, the fans going absolutely crazy for the move.”

 

Axis: “Well that’s surely it. Stryke is bloody, beaten and broken, and all Brass needs to do is to roll Stryke back into the ring and put the final nail into Stryke’s coffin.”

 

Brass does just that, and makes the pin, the fans counting along.

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

DING DING DING!!

 

“Brass Monkey” by the Beastie Boys kicks up, and Low Brass gets his arm raised in victory to massive cheers.

 

Axis: “Brass did it! He wins the brutal Stairway to Hell match, and with it retires Stryke from the JL!”

 

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

 

Axis: “That was the scene about 2 months ago, and in agreement with the stipulations Stryke had his IGNJL contract terminated on the spot.”

 

Edwin: “A little here, a bit over there, heh heh.”

 

King: “What are you doing over there?”

 

Edwin: “Oh, nothing.”

 

King: “MY BOOK! Give it back!”

 

King snatches his book back, and discovers that Edwin has done graffiti all over it, colouring King’s eyes in, giving him horns, and drawing speech bubbles saying “King iz a looser, Edwin roolz!”

 

King: “Oh, you’ll pay for this one, don’t think you won’t pay.”

 

Edwin: “Hah, victory is mine, Carnie style!”

 

Axis: “Come now you two, lets get back to the action.”

 

Stryke: “As you just saw, that pathetic piece of foreskin Low Brass managed to fluke a victory over me, and due to that MacPhisto chap down there, I was most unceremoniously sent packing from the JL.”

 

The crowd boos at the Low Brass foreskin comment, but then cheer MacPhisto having fired Stryke.

 

Edwin: “He’s right, I did throw that little towel-rag out of here, now I just want to know what he’s doing back.”

 

King: “Maybe he’s back to get revenge for you drawing all over my book.”

 

Axis: “He was here before that even happened.”

 

King: “Blah, that’s highly inconsequential. Still, someday, somehow, revenge will be had for your little escapade here Edwin, mark my words.”

 

Stryke: “But if I’m fired, just what exactly am I doing back here tonight? That’s simple really. After that edition of Metal I was gone, but I had no intention of staying away. See, while my IGNJL contract was torn up, the stipulations said nothing about the SJL.”

 

Axis: “Is he saying what I think he’s saying?”

 

King: “Oooh, that’s clever, very heelish. Not as heelish as me of course, but good nonetheless.”

 

Stryke: “While Edwin and the rest of the JL crew were galavanting around Australia, I went to the higher-ups of the federation, and managed to convince them that it was in their best interests to grant me a brand new contract, signed, sealed and delivered with the SJL, with a very generous salary, I might add.”

 

The fans boo their lungs out, obviously not happy that Stryke has seemingly found a loophole in the stipulations.

 

Edwin: “Thinks he’s clever does he, well that ragamuffin may just find he has another thing coming.”

 

Axis: “Sounds like the commissioner isn’t to chuffed about Stryke being back.”

 

King: “That’s because he a jerkface. Edwin MacJerkface.”

 

Edwin: “Well smarty-pants, maybe I’ll just give YOU a taste of my commissionary might, how about that King?”

 

King: “Err, Um… uh, no thanks, I’m fine.”

 

Edwin: “That’s what I thought, all fear my commissionary powers of untold doom and destruction.”

 

Stryke: “In addition, just in case any certain British commissioners that shall remain nameless have a problem with this, I’ve ensured it’s guaranteed for 3 years, nothing short of a decision by the board of directors can get rid of me. It also states that I have to be booked, so no just leaving me off the shows for you.”

 

King: “Heh, he seems to have thought of everything, quite devious. He must subscribe to the Heel Guidebook as well.”

 

Axis: “Well It looks as though Stryke’s back in the JL.”

 

Edwin: “I guess he is. But I’ll have to see if I can’t make his stay a little more ‘interesting’, if he’s so eager to be back.”

 

Stryke: “You people can boo me all you want, there’s nothing you can do to change this. And one final thing, good luck to all those in the Main Event tonight. Because whoever walks out with that Title tonight will have me to deal with, and I can guarantee that I’ll stop at nothing to put that title on it’s proper resting place, and that’s with me.”

 

“Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit comes on the PA system once more, and Stryke walks back into the entrance, the boos continuing to flow from the fans in attendance.

 

Axis: “Well in a shocking turn of events Stryke seems to be back in the SJL, and seems determined to get his hands on the SJL Heavyweight Title.”

 

Edwin: “Well we’ll see about that, he seems to forget I’m still the commissioner, so we’ll see if I can’t come up with some very special Midnight Carnival style things for him to deal with.”

 

King: “We’ve got an advertisment break coming right up, so we’ll be back right after the break.”

 

Axis: “That’s my line.”

 

King: “You snooze you lose convict boy, it's mine now. Muahaha.”

[Guest crusen86]

The camera pans the crowd as they chant "AXIS, AXIS!" It zooms in on the announce table, showing a smirking Suicide King, a grinning Edwin MacPhisto and, in between, an Axis who

looks as if he really needs a morphine injection.

 

Edwin: And we're BACK at the Gund Arena for SJL Metal! Already we've seen three great matches...

 

King: I wouldn't say GREAT...

 

Axis: I don't know if I can take this...

 

Edwin: Coming up, we've got an exciting triple threat match to determine the number-one contender for the European Title. Let's go to Funyon.

 

The lights go down in the Gund Arena and the opening drumbeat of "The Gauntlet" by Dropkick Murphys starts playing over the PA. As the first chord strikes, Tom Flesher steps out of the curtain with a burst of pyro and a shower of boos. Instantly, he drops to one knee and flexes for the crowd. Eventually, he gets back to his feet and struts confidently into the ring.

 

Funyon: The first competitor, from Buffalo, New York, and weighing in tonight at 213 pounds...

 

Edwin: That's 97 kilograms, Axis.

 

Axis: What?

 

Edwin: Just thought you should know.

 

Funyon: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher!

 

The fans continue to boo as Flesher poses in his brand-new Ego Buster t-shirt, $19.95 from SJLsuperstars.com, and eventually the music is cut. "Calculating Infinity" by Dillinger Escape Plan starts to grind over the loudspeaker as the SmarkTron switches fades into a white "Deathwish,"

which morphs into highlights of Danny Williams' matches. In sharp contrast to Flesher's entrance, Williams walks calmly to the ring, looking mildly distraught over the boos that meet him as he finally enters.

 

Funyon: His opponent, from Louisville, Kentucky, and weighing 235 pounds... "Deathwish" Danny Williams!

 

Edwin: And that's 107 kilos.

 

Axis: You know, I AM from Australia.

 

Edwin: Point being?

 

King: I think he's trying to say that he can't count over 100, so you'll have to use stones instead of kilos.

 

The boos trail off as Faith No More's "Epic" begins to play. Z walks down to the ring. Faced with the choice of Flesher, Williams or Z, the crowd starts cheering Z. Z looks confused, and in his confusion, stumbles over his own feet and lands face-first on the floor. Flesher jumps out of the ring, helps him to his feet, and guides him into the ring, even holding the ropes for Z.

 

Axis: Flesher's trying to capitalize on the alliance made this weekend with Z.

 

Edwin: Isn't it great that they're such fast friends?

 

Axis: I wouldn't say that, necessarily.

 

King: Shut up.

 

Axis: What?

 

King: You heard me.

 

Axis shrugs as the three wrestlers warm up inside the ring.

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

Flesher turns to Z and smiles broadly, evoking a used car salesman. He waves his hands as if to say, "Don't worry about it." Z grins and backs into a corner as Flesher turns to face Danny Williams.

 

King: So what are these guys fighting over again?

 

Axis: The winner becomes the #1 contender for the European Championship.

 

King: European... and they're getting all excited about that?

 

Axis: None of them has ever held a title in the SJL. They're all rookies.

 

King: You know, I was World Champion.

 

Axis: *sigh* Yes, we know.

 

King: And damn good-looking, too.

 

Flesher and Williams lock up. Flesher circles around, but Williams steps in early to counter any angle advantage Flesher might be getting. Flesher drops down and snags a single-leg takedown into an ankle lock, but Williams rolls out of the hold before Flesher can cinch it and gets back to

his feet. The two square off again, this time with Williams stepping around to Flesher's left and using an armbar to take Flesher to the mat. As he falls, Flesher rolls to the side and slaps on a wristlock, which he uses to follow through into a double chickenwing on the mat. As Flesher attempts to secure a bodyscissors, Williams wriggles his left arm free and reaches back to secure a side headlock. Caught off-guard, Flesher is flipped forward onto his back.

 

ONE

 

Flesher kicks out, breaking the pin and the headlock. The fans cheer in spite of themselves for the technical sequence they just witnessed.

 

Axis: What a display of skill we're seeing from these two rookies.

 

King: The junkie and the egotist?

 

Axis: Er... yes, I suppose so. Um... Flesher's back to his feet and looks ready to square off against Williams, but shoves him instead and turns to motion Z to lock up.

 

Z, however, is looking down and pulling a loose thread on the sleeve of his camouflage jacket.

 

Williams looks frustrated and leans against the ropes as Flesher goes over to tap Z on the shoulder. Z looks up, a bit confused, and Flesher points angrily at Williams. He's heard to yell, "Go get him like we planned!"

 

Edwin: Flesher lost a bit of his oomph there, and now he wants Z to go recapture that oomph. OOOMPH!

 

Axis: And here Tom's trying to enforce the alliance they made this weekend.

 

Edwin: An alliance of OOMPH!

 

King: Not much of it. These guys aren't very entertaining. It'll be a while before they're title material, and I don't think they'll ever be at the World Title level. By the way, have I mentioned that I'm a former World Champion?

 

Axis: You may have...

 

King: Unlike you or Edwin.

 

Edwin: Yeah, but you lost your OOMPH!!!!!

 

Z looks a little reluctant to lock up with Williams, but Flesher manages to coerce him into it by way of shoving him into Williams' waiting arms. Williams ducks under Z's left arm and cinches in an armbar. Z attempts to wriggle out of it, but he's just not strong enough, so he just starts screaming like a girl. Flesher sighs deeply out of frustration and blindsides Williams with an elbowdrop, forcing him to release the hold and allowing Z to reverse it into a hammerlock. Williams stands up, shrugs the hammerlock off, and nails Z with a back elbow. Williams spins around and locks on a front facelock, looking for a DDT. Before he can hit it, though, Tom Flesher sprints out of the corner and nails him in the back of the head with a running palm blow, knocking him off-balance and allowing Z to slip out of the hold and hide in a neutral corner.

 

Axis: This is starting to turn into a handicap match, Edwin.

 

Edwin: Well, the whole world's against Williams to begin with. It's nothing new for him to have the odds stacked up the other way.

 

King: If he was any good he'd have nailed that DDT and pinned Z right there, but he's too slow. Classic rookie mistake.

 

Axis: Flesher nailed him before he could do the move!

 

King: So what? I've fought off six, seven people at a time before, when I was defending my World Title. That was one tough barfight, which stands in sharp contrast to the time I wrestled Edwin, and the time I threw him off the top of the cage.

 

With Z out of the way and Williams momentarily stunned, Flesher drops to his knees and snags a single-leg takedown, this time cinching the anklelock before Williams can counter it. Flesher starts to twist the ankle hard as Williams inches toward the ropes. He gets closer and closer each second, and finally reaches the ropes. Flesher releases the hold and Williams gets to his feet.

 

Axis: Flesher seems to be at the advantage here, since he's got Z doing his dirty work and he's just locking on the holds.

 

Edwin: Oh, Z's going to doublecross him. You just watch.

 

King: Right. Z can barely tie his shoes without straining something.

 

Flesher hits Williams with a quick flurry of palm strikes and then whips him to the ropes. As Williams bounds off the ropes, Flesher ducks, and Z dashes into place to catch him with the Clothesline From Fuck. Williams takes a step back but is largely unaffected thanks to Z's lack of power, but his distraction allows Flesher to rain down another hard palm to the head before stepping off to the side and locking up a Lotus suplex. After the suplex, Flesher keeps his grip,

rolls through, and nails Williams with a ....

 

Axis: LOTUS DRIVER from Tom Flesher! It looks like Williams was able to block some of the impact, but that move is always devastating!

 

King: Sort of like being thrown off the top of a cage, eh, Edwin?

 

Edwin mutters something about pandas chewing on Suicide King as Flesher rolls Williams onto his back and kneels down on him in a cocky, nonchalant double-biceps cover for

 

ONE

 

TW-

 

Williams kicks his legs up and hooks them under Flesher's arms, and takes him to his back for

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

but Flesher rolls to his stomach, regrabs the legs and is able to sit back into a Boston crab!

 

Axis: Wow, Flesher's obviously been able to fatigue Williams through his... judicious use of Z.

 

Edwin: He's making Williams look like BasketballASA! ZING!

 

King: Would you please shut the hell up?

 

Edwin: Me and my panda say no!

 

King: Me and my World Title reign say yes!

 

Flesher cranks the Boston crab, sitting further and further back, and the pain on Williams' face is obvious. Flesher sits back as far as he can, bringing his feet up into Williams' armpits. Williams strains for the ropes and shifts his weight, trying to create some space, before reaching through

and grabbing Flesher's ankle. Williams is able to get a good grip on Flesher's foot and torque it with all his strength, which elicits a yelp from Flesher and makes him release the hold. Flesher walks toward the corner and points at Z as Williams gets to his feet.

 

Z locks up with Williams and is immediately overpowered, causing him to fall to his knees. Williams grabs Z by his camouflage jacket and lifts him to his feet. He starts hitting Z with vicious knife-edge chops as the crowd shouts "WHOO!" along with each chop's impact. He backs Z into the corner opposite Flesher, and then backs into center-ring. He charges into the corner to deliver a tumbling elbow smash, but Z counters it with....

 

Edwin: GALATEA SPECIAL! GALATEA SPECIAL! This one's over!!!!!!!

 

King: He just kicked him in the dick, you dick.

 

Edwin: LOOK AT IT! It's the Galatea Special!!!!!

 

Axis: Odd how Flesher would have let Williams connect with that elbow smash and take Z out. That wouldn't have been good for his team spirit.

 

King: Are you seriously that stupid?

 

Williams stumbles backwards and Z charges after him, locking him into a bearhug and lifting him up, then dropping him groin-first across his knee in the Manhattan Drop.

 

Edwin: How's THAT for psychology?

 

Flesher calls across to Z and yells, "Throw him into the corner!" Z obliges, whipping Danny into the corner opposite Flesher and following it up with a running elbow strike. Z moves out of the way as Flesher charges in and nails Williams with a Doc Marten to the face. Williams crumbles into a heap in the corner. Flesher backs out again and charges in with another kick to the face, then backs into the corner. Z grabs Flesher's hands and irish-whips him into the corner for yet

another Doc Marten Yakuza kick, adding more impact, and Williams grabs his face before rolling out of the ring.

 

Axis: Flesher and Z are showing great teamwork here, and at this point they're just standing in the ring. It looks like they're discussing strategy while Deathwish regroups on the outside. Deathwish is taking quite the beating, wouldn't you say, Suicide?

 

King: I've taken worse. He's not very resilient.

 

Axis: How can you say this? He's taking a beating at the hands of two of the SJL's up-and-coming superstars!

 

King: Were they-

 

Edwin: Were they savagely beaten by Edwin MacPhisto, like Suicide King was? Nahhhhh, I don't think so.

 

King: WHAT did you just say?

 

Edwin: I said, "Don't you just love these new highlights I put in my hair? I thought so."

 

Flesher whispers to Z, and Z nods knowingly. He grabs his chin and furrows his brow as Flesher explains the game plan to him before Williams finishes his breather and reenters the ring. Flesher steps back into the corner and Z squares off against Williams. Z hammers Williams with a few elbow strikes, and Williams is slightly stunned by them as Z steps

in and executes the GENERIC VERTICAL SUPLEX OF UNFATHOMABLY EVIL PROPORTIONS!!!! Flesher steps in and drops an elbow, and Z gets on top of Williams for

 

ONE

 

TWO- Williams kicks out and sends Z flying. Flesher puts the boots to Williams and then pulls him to his feet. Z gets to his feet. Flesher yells, "Get ready!" and irish-whips Williams toward Z. Z ducks down low and catches Williams in a Thesz press position, then falls backwards, dropping him neck-first on the ropes. Williams bounces off and onto the mat, at which point Z drops a knee into the small of his back and then applies an armbar.

 

Z holds the armbar for a while as he motions for Flesher to come over. Flesher drops an elbow into the small of Williams' back, then runs to the ropes. Quickly, Z slides out of the way just before Tom hits a running somersault senton onto Williams' back. Williams yelps at the moment of impact, and Flesher slides out of the ring for a breather as Z reapplies the armbar.

 

Axis: Danny Williams is just so resilient. Look at the beating he's taking at the hands of two SJL rookies!

 

As if on cue, Williams reaches and grabs the ropes, forcing Z to release the hold. Favoring his left arm, Williams locks up with Z and promptly gets put into a side headlock. Williams shoots Z into the ropes and, as Z runs toward him after bouncing off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and catches

Z's arm. In a single fluid motion, Williams spins around and starts executing a series of armbreakers over his shoulder. Z screams girlishly each time Williams snaps his arm over his

shoulder, occasionally letting loose with a "Help me, help me, holy featherplucking schnitzel!" The camera, however, sees Flesher on the outside leaning on the guardrail.

 

Axis: Is Flesher talking to....

 

Edwin: I think he is!

 

King: Why on EARTH would he think that...

 

Flesher is leans sleazily against the guardrail, chatting casually with a woman wearing a Jacob Helmsley "Pipe Me" t-shirt. She looks mildly disgusted, and clearly she's shifting her gaze around looking for an excuse to get away, but Flesher is oblivious to the fact that she'd rather not be seen with him. Williams, meanwhile, continues to work Z's left arm. After finishing a series of six armbreakers, Williams turns back around and locks his hands around Z's waist, then arches his

back and executes a textbook Northern Lights suplex for

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

Axis: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Z's foot is on the ropes! Referee Wayne Edkin points it out to Williams, who clearly doesn't like that result.

 

King: Well it's just a matter of doing it again, then, isn't it? Just like ensuring my immortality is just a matter of winning the SWF World Title. Again.

 

Flesher turns around after hearing the commotion and then turns back to the Helmsley fan. He makes a quick "I'll be right back" motion before he sprints into the ring and slides under the bottom rope. Williams lifts Z to his feet and attempts to lock up a backdrop suplex, but Flesher blindsides him with a Yakuza kick to the back of the head. Williams stumbles forward, sending Z out through the middle ropes, and then bounces backwards into a German suplex by Flesher for

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

TH- NO, Williams rolls through and gets back to his feet. Flesher takes advantage of his freshness by shooting in for a single-leg takedown, but instead of locking up an ankle lock, Flesher keeps Williams on his back and applies a spinning toehold. Following through, Tom locks up a figure-four leglock as the crowd pops.

 

Edwin: That's a figure-four, Suicide.

 

King: Yes, Edwin, I'm familiar with basic wrestling moves.

 

Edwin: Are you familiar with basic personal hygiene? *KIYAHAHAHAHAHA!* Oh, but seriously, I just wanted to make sure you knew it was a figure-four leglock.

 

King: They're fighting over a shot at a title belt. Do you know what one of THOSE is?

 

Axis: Oh, would the two of you both just SHUT UP?! Just look at the expression on Flesher's face! He's sadistic! He's enjoying the fact that Danny Williams is writhing in pain! He loves it! Flesher would love nothing more than for Danny Williams' leg to break right now! He wants to snap it!

 

King: It's a good thing he's got all that Vicodin in his system. Otherwise Williams might actually feel something.

 

Axis: You know damn well that he passed his drug test tonight!

 

King: Patchouli. It's all about the patchouli.

 

Flesher props himself up on both arms, grinning sadistically as Williams tries to gut it out. He inches toward the ropes as Flesher cranks, too wrapped up in the hold to notice that Williams is getting closer to the ropes with every second. Finally, Williams makes one last grab and manages to get his hands around the bottom rope. Wayne Edkin counts

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

THREE

 

 

 

FOUR and finally Flesher breaks the hold. Williams rolls around on the mat clutching his knee but being careful not to let go of the bottom rope.

 

King: You see, this is where having the Ace of Spades comes in handy. He just turns around, and BAM! You nail him with it, right upside the head.

 

Axis: Don't you have ANY dignity?

 

Edwin: He lost it playing blackjack last year.

 

Axis: How's that?

 

Edwin: Blackjack. Against a panda!

 

Axis mutters disgustedly to himself as Flesher motions Z into the ring. After tripping on the ropes, Z does a full forward roll and completely incidentally manages to land on Williams for

 

ONE

 

but Williams isn't stunned enough to let an accidental cover catch him. Z stands up and attempts to lift Williams up for a gutwrench backbreaker, but... Williams is just too heavy. Z's a little tapped out after the match he's had, leaving Williams an opening to lock up a small package for

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

Flesher breaks the pin with an elbowdrop onto Williams. Flesher lifts Williams to his feet and whips him into a corner, then charges in with a running palm blow to the chest. Flesher then hoists Williams into the air and slams him into the corner, hooking his feet under the turnbuckle and tying him to the Tree of Woe. Flesher sprints over to Z and lifts HIM to his feet before irish-whipping Z into the corner. Z wasn't really expecting that, so he has to improvise, but manages to come up with a baseball slide to the face. Flesher follows it up by charging in with his own baseball slide. Z attempts to follow him in with yet another, but manages to trip on the way in.

Flesher sighs heavily and walks over to help Z regain his bearings as Williams uses the free moment to untangle himself, then crumples into a heap against the turnbuckles.

 

Axis: It looks like the length of the match is starting to take its toll on Z.

 

King: Jobber.

 

Edwin: I know you are, but what am I? HA! Got you THERE!

 

King: Hey! Don't talk to me like that! Don't expect me to fall for that old trick! I'm a former World Champion!

 

Edwin: I know you are, but what am I?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*

 

Williams pulls himself up on the ropes as Z rears back to charge in at him, but Flesher steps in front of him. The camera zooms in, and Flesher can be heard to say, "He's not ready yet." Williams walks forward, holding his head, to center-mat and assumes an offensive position,

motioning for one of the two to lock up with him.

 

Axis: Look at the guts that Danny Williams is showing here! Any normal man would have turned up his toes and died, but here Danny Williams is asking for more punishment!

 

King: The methadone will do that to you. And who do you think you are, Crocodile Dundee? "Turned up his toes and died." What's next, "Now you're on the trolley?"

 

Flesher shoves Z into the lockup, and Williams answers by executing a snap suplex on the overmatched klutz. Flesher folds his arms and watches, actually yawning as Williams gets to his feet and turns Z over. Williams stares Flesher down as he sets up a piledriver, but Flesher scratches his sideburn, looking quite bored with the whole ordeal. Williams stalls for a moment, still scowling at Flesher, then sits down, driving Z's head into the mat. Z grabs his head and writhes on the mat as Flesher stays motionless. Williams glares at Flesher, mouths the words "You sicken me," and covers Z for

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

THR- NO, Flesher charges in to break the pin with a diving headbutt, but Williams moves out of the way and Flesher nails the groggy Z in the chest with his head.

 

Axis: That's the same headbutt he used to put Z through the table last week on Metal! We all know that Flesher has a devastating ability to nail that headbutt! Flesher doesn't even look concerned as to whether his new friend is alright!

 

King: Oh, he's plenty concerned. Look.

 

Flesher doesn't get up! He covers Z and actually hooks his leg! Wayne Edkin counts

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

THRE- DANNY WILLIAMS BREAKS THE PIN!!!!!

 

King: Well, you didn't really expect Williams to let Flesher pick up the pin, did you?

 

Axis: Stranger things have happened... like Flesher doublecrossing Z after Z's done all the dirty work during this match.

 

King: Flesher's not quite a king, but... well, don't you know that a jack always beats a jackass? Flesher's using the situation to his advantage.

 

Edwin: Well that's not very ethical of him.

 

King: Whee. Congratulations, Professor. You've been awarded your masters degree.

 

Edwin: Masters degree? Tough talk from someone who doesn't think about anything but masturb-

 

Axis: FAMILY SHOW!!!!

 

Edwin: Master blasters. All he thinks about is upgrading the sound system in his car. Yeesh, Axis, get your mind out of the gutter.

 

Z clutches his head and slides out of the ring as Flesher stares at Williams, obviously pissed off. Williams is just as angry that Flesher's making a mockery of his first chance to be a contender. The two lock up.

 

Axis: Here's what we've all been waiting for. These two are both mostly fresh. Williams has taken a beating, but he's got a lot of stamina and he's been able to rest for the past few minutes. Flesher's barely done any work at all during this match, except to throw on a submission hold after Z had done all the work to put Williams into a compromising position.

 

King: He's smart. He reminds me of me, just a little. Although he'll never be the world-class athlete that I am. Hey, Edwin, will you ever catch up with me?

 

Edwin: Ketchup? No thanks, I don't eat while I'm commentating. It's unprofessional.

 

As Flesher and Williams lock up and fight for hand position, Z stumbles around the outside clutching his left arm. He slides back into the ring and collapses in a corner. Flesher slides to the side and attempts a single-leg takedown, but he's gone to the well too many times.

 

Axis: It looks like Flesher just lost a piece in the human game of chess.

 

King: He got caught dealing off the bottom in the human game of poker.

 

Edwin: He got bitten by a panda in the zoo of wrestling! ZING!

 

Williams counters the hold by locking up a front facelock and jacking Flesher up to his feet, then lifting him into the air and dropping down onto his back with a vicious brainbuster!

 

Edwin: Ooooooh... bet Flesher wasn't expecting that.

 

King: You really are a dumbass, you know that?

 

Williams hooks the leg and goes for the cover. Wayne Edkin counts

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

but Z BREAKS THE PIN!!!!!!!

 

Axis: What a devoted friend Z is! He's showing real balls by breaking the pin and helping Flesher, after what "The Superior One" did to him!

 

Edwin: Axis, I don't think Z remembers that. He was unconscious and probably thinks it was Williams.

 

Axis: Still... Z can't possibly think he can win this one.

 

Z grabs Williams and lifts him to his feet. Williams punches Z squarely in the face, all business and uninterested in any petty interruptions. Williams brings Z to his knees with a series of forearm smashes, then jumps in the air and nails Z in the face with a dropkick!!! Z falls to the mat, where Williams lifts him for a German suplex, and releases Z in mid-air! Z lands splat on the back of his neck in center mat. Flesher, meanwhile, is still unconscious in the corner.

 

Axis: Flesher looks like he may have been severely injured by that brainbuster. He's not used to getting slapped around like that, and the match has gone long.

 

King: That's one theory, smart guy.

 

Edwin: Smark?

 

Axis: Pardon?

 

Edwin: Never mind.

 

Williams glowers down at Z, and rolls him onto his stomach. He mounts Z and applied a tight chickenwing on the injured left arm, then cinches a crossface headlock. Finally, Williams wraps his legs around Z and secures an extremely painful scissors lock before tightening his grip into his signature Chickenwing Headlock. It looks like it's all over, as Williams is screaming, "TAP!!!! COME ON, Z, TAP!!!! JUST TAP OUT!!!!"

 

Suddenly, Flesher springs to his feet and slides to the center. He dives on top of Z, sending the confused Williams to his back. Flesher covers Z, who is still on top of Williams... WILLIAMS IS PINNED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF BOTH FLESHER AND THE SEMI-CONSCIOUS Z!!!!!

 

Edkin counts

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Funyon: Your winner, and the new number one contender to the European Championship, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher!

 

Axis: He was playing possum! Flesher was playing possum, waiting for Z to get put in that Chickenwing Headlock so he could capitalize on it! Williams couldn't kick out under the weight of two men!!! What a weasel Flesher is!

 

Flesher helps Z to his feet and raises Z's arms along with his own. Z is still semi-conscious, but looks pleased with the whole ordeal despite having been Flesher's tool throughout the whole match. Flesher whispers to Z, and the camera picks him up saying, "You did it! You helped me get my title shot, and when I win it, you'll get first crack!"

 

Axis: He's despicable.

 

King: Impressive, for a rookie. Just wait until he's up against some world-class competition, for example, former World Champion the Suicide King.

 

Axis: Would you PLEASE shut up? God. Let's go to commercial.

[Guest crusen86]

(Looks like it is time.............)

 

[in a dimly lit locker room, he bends over in the steel chair and begins lacing up his boots.  Two other figures are visible, one taking off elbow pads, the other sitting on the far side of the room motionless.  Snapping the final knot tight, he sits up and slumps back into the chair, looking to the ceiling.]

 

(Every night, the same old, and yet somehow...... it never gets old.  Drive up to the city’s arena, walk through the labyrinth in the back of the arena with my bag over my shoulder, hours before anyone else shows up.  They always wonder why I’m here so early........)

 

[Looking to the right, he watches as Shawn Brody struggles with the right elbow pad, then leaves to go to the changing room with his street clothes in his hand.  Turning back, he adjusts his own elbow pad and flexes his fingers.]

 

(While the others sleep the day away in their hotel rooms...... I sit in the locker room, thinking.  Some call it a routine, but it just feels right to me.  As I hear some of the other early ones arrive, filing past the door, it always destroys the tranquility of the room and I’m forced to stalk the halls of the building.  Randomly navigating through the building, I somehow always end up in the main part of the arena, the ring just standing there........ a lone structure surrounded by thousands of empty chairs.  It’s hard to believe the transformation of this place, from the afternoon to the evening, when the fun begins........)

 

[Getting out of the seat, he begins to pace up and down the length of the locker room, as the other figure continues its sentinel life.  Sounds of a door slamming can be heard around the corner.]

 

(Walking back to the locker room, I can always see the crew scrambling with some problem.  A botched connection, faulty pyrotechnics, always a new problem on a new night.  And then I reach my room again....  I always wonder how she manages to get to the locker room during that single hour or so I am out.  Scary in a way..... and she always shows that quick smirk as I open the door to find her unloading her gear for the night...... though we chat a bit, about wrestling, about the night’s matches, about general crap; silence is always the dominant sound..... at least until he shows up...... Damn, I’m gonna miss Brody.)

 

[As his mind’s whisper dies off, as though on cue, Brody re-enters the locker room with his street clothes on, a pair of black pants and a sleeveless Clan shirt.  Dropping his wrestling gear into the bag, Brody looks up with a grin, then over at the other figure before committing himself to cleaning up his junk.]

 

(That kid....... he impressed me from the start...... hell, he impressed me again tonight.  He doesn’t gotta worry at all about us leaving.  The rest of the JL should be worrying about him...... he’ll do the Clan proud, I know it.)

 

[A dull roar seeps through the walls of the room, as the thousands of fans in the crowd get to their feet.  Music can be heard, slightly muted, and the crowd’s noise amplifies as one of the other five walks out to the ring.]

 

(I can feel it again....... whenever the music blasts, and the crowd roars....... and you know, deep in your soul....... that burning...... Dammit, I’m gonna miss this.  I never thought I’d say this but....... I’m gonna miss this........ man, it was only a few months ago, me versus Insane Luchador and Lucky.  Seems like an eternity....... and now, in only five days, I’ll be at Battleground, for the U.S title.  That’d be one hell of a debut if I could.....)

 

[stopping his pacing, he walks back over to the chair and reaches behind it, picking up the World Championship Belt.  Looking at it for seconds, he is brought back to reality as a new song can be heard blasting in the arena.  As the crowd roars again, he tosses the belt over his shoulder and turns around to the two others in the room.  Walking over to Brody, he offers up a hand which is gladly taken.)

 

“You go out there and show them all, one last time bro.  Then, you go to the WF and you continue on, just like you started here.”

 

“Thanks.....”

 

[Not knowing what else to say, and knowing that there’s a better time to talk to Brody, he simply locks a stare with the Fallen Angel, one that says more than any amount of words.  Turning away from his brother in arms, he rests his gaze upon the other figure as it slowly stands up.  Stepping forward, in her orange ornamental kimono, Lady Red crosses her hands over her waist.  Looking at him with a blank gaze, she simply nods....... returning the favour, he shrugs the belt back higher on his shoulder and walks past them to the door of the locker room, as a third song takes place of the former.]

 

(People think that she’s so deranged..... if only they truly knew..... Jay Dawg is in for one hell of a fight, that’s for damned sure.)

 

[Turning to the right, he walks with determination through the narrow hallway passing by the locker rooms of other wrestlers as he nears the sounds of Metal.]

 

(Flexxx’s locker room....... that guy did what I never thought he could, he earned my respect..... in the cage, in the cell, every damn time he pushed me harder than ever before.  We put a lasting impression on the TV belt with that series, gave it meaning again.....

 

....................

 

XF9...... Erek..... that finals match..... my right shoulder is still hurting thanks to you.  But how in the hell did you keep on going?  And I’ve got this sneaking suspicion...... well, I guess we’ll just see when we get out in the ring.

 

...................

 

Jacob, one of the few reminders left, besides me of Red Storm Rising.  All the rest left, making my vengeance impossible when I returned.  And now, you return just as I leave..... well, lucky for you, you were the one that I actually respected......... wonder what happened to Crush?)

 

[Making the final left, he slows his approach as he sees someone go through the curtain.  Not catching a glimpse of the face, he recognizes the entrance music right away, with a smirk.  As one of the crew beckons at him to get ready, he begins to hop from one foot to the other, as the butterflies that never go away but are never admitted to anyone, return once more.  Taking his belt off his shoulder, he straps it around his waist as Funyon’s feminine voice can be heard.]

 

(My last Metal......... my last JL show....... and everyone expects my mind to be on the WF, everyone expects that I can’t beat the four on one odds one last time...... I hate to break it to them, but..........)

 

****CRASH****

 

That thunder is an omen........

 

I walked a path through this league.........

 

and now I shall leave the JL...........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.................in Chaos...............

[Guest crusen86]

In Australia, where in the land down under anything can happen, two of the finest got their wishes. They will fight for their right to reach the top of the SWF. What about those who lost? The fate will be decided today, in an epic battle between five of the greatest. Four will walk away, hanging their heads down in shame in the awful face of defeat and only one will walk away..... a champion......

 

BACK IN THE GUND ARENA WE GO!!! WHOOO!! An explosive night it may be and it will only get better as the commercials end and SJL Metal returns from the break. The Smarkstron livens up, displaying the next match on the card, and just that sends shockwaves of cheers throughout the stage. All the fans begin cheering, chanting, hooting, and even creating a "Wave"!

 

"(Axis) WELCOME BACK TO SJL METAL!! A great night, as we saw so many great stars fight!"

 

"(Edwin) Indeedio! I'm Commissioner Edwin, alongside with the Aussie Axis and... ::sigh:: ... The Suicide King."

 

"(King) That's right, the best, the greatest, the MAN! The Suicide King has invaded the SJL and has a mission and that is to entertain you true fans with my spectacular commentary."

 

"(Axis) You're both cocky, so let's leave it that way."

 

"(King) I'm cocky because I was at the top! Why are *you* cocky, Edwin?"

 

"(Edwin) Did they not tell you?"

 

"(King) Tell me what?"

 

"(Edwin) THAT I RUN THIS JOINT, BROTHA! Hehehehehe....."

 

"(Axis) Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this cruel fate."

 

"(King) Enough of the chatter, get down to business, orders by The Suicide King!"

 

"(Axis) Yeah shut up already. Folks, up next is the incredible 5 man No DQ matchup for the SJL World Championship!"

 

"(Edwin) K-Os, the ultimate dominator, will take on four other guys very deserving of the SJL World Title. He will take on the High Flying Erek Taylor, the Charismatic Ash Ketchum, the Raging Porno Star FlexXx, and the dark and demented Jacob Helmsley."

 

"(Axis) Well, since King has nothing else to say, let's get right to it then!"

 

Once more, Funyon stands at the center of the ring, his trusty microphone by his side as he waits for the music of the first combatant to ring. Funyon doesn't need to wait long as "Bulls on Parade" begin to play from the speakers. Enormous streams of yellow pyro shoot out in all directions, dancing to the beat of the music as well as the video. Flexxx emerges from the curtains, much cheers from the fans as he begins to twirl his lethal kendo stick in all places. Flexxx cuts the act and races down the ramp before sliding into the ring. The Lone Star Fighter jumps back up to his feet and pumps his fists into the air, roughing up the crowds a bit more.

 

"(Funyon) The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a No Disqualification matchup for the SJL World Championship!!! Introducing first, from Rochester, New York, weighing in at 267 pounds, FLLEEXXXXX!!!!!!"

 

The cheers continue but they quickly turn sour as "Meaning of Life" begins to blare out of the speakers. The sadistic song plays to the dimming of the lights and plays to the dancing of the flashbulbs on the Smarkstron. And then....

 

"I'm not the Game, I'm not that damn good....... I'm better...."

 

That dark voice sparks waves of boos from the crowds. Jacob Helmsley walks out from the back, the lead pipe in his hand, the same lead pipe that has brought down so many of his victims. Helmsley paces down the ramp before climbing up on the apron. He begins to enter the ring when a fan shouts out, causing Jacob to spit at the fan in rage. The referee quickly orders Helmsley in and Jacob has no choice but to obey.

 

"(Funyon) And his opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 227 pounds, JACOB...... HEEELLLMMMSSLLLEEEYYYYY!!!!!!!"

 

The lights go out, bringing life to the crowds as the beginning of U2’s "Elevation" begins to play as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron and shoots up in front of the entrance. A spotlight moves around the arena, before finally setting its beam at the top of the ramp. And just on cue, the pyrotechnics stop and the beam of light shines down on Ash Ketchum. The Pokemaster spins around, waving his trademark "V"ictory sign to all of the Pokefreaks in the world. Ketchum dashes down the ramp, but slams on the brakes before he can slide into the ring, smiling at Jacob Helmsley as he does so.

 

"(Funyon) And their opponent, from Tampa Bay, Florida, weighing in at 255 pounds, ASH...... KEETTCHHUUUMMMM!!!!!!!"

 

Chants of "Ketchum! Ketchum!" begin to be heard, bringing a smile on the Pokemaster's face. Ketchum waits and waits until finally, the opening rifts of "Toxicity" begin to play. The music works magic, bringing the entire arena to its feet, getting down heavy volumes of cheers, screams from girls, chants of his name. Spotlights of many colors begin to dance to the music before all of them set at the top. The beam sends off a reaction of pyrotechnics, exploding on cue and sending a mist of smoke across the ramp, concealing the curtains that transport the wrestlers to the ring. The lights finally go on and in an almost mystical way, the shadow of Erek Taylor blazes down the ramp. Taylor emerges from the mists in a crouching stance, looking from side to side at the millions of Erek Taylor fans.

 

"(Funyon) And their opponent! From Anaheim, California, weighing in at 215 pounds, EREK..... TAAAAYYYYLLLLOOOOOORRRRR!!!!"

 

Erek Taylor walks down the ramp, the bruises from his previous match still shown on his arms. It may show on his body but it doesn't stop Taylor from racing at top speed to the bottom of the ramp. Taylor looks to Ketchum, exchanging glances to his friend before the two finally nod. And then, it's heard....

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

 

The roll of thunder cries in the arena, followed by the enchantment of "Down" by STP. Flames at the top pulsate to the beat of the music as K-Os, the ultimate, walks out from the back, head down and the SJL World Title slung on his shoulder. K-Os walks midway and prepares to look up when he is immediately jumped by the two XF9ers!!

 

***Ding ding ding!!!***

 

Ketchum and Taylor begin raining down hard rights to K-Os, knocking the champion back further into the flames in which he came. Flexxx and Helmsley join the fray, taking a piece of Erek Taylor and dragging the High Flying Prince into the ring. There, the two align and begin stomping the gut of Erek Taylor. Ketchum grabs K-Os by the hair and begins bringing the champion down when K-Os breaks free of the grip and like the technical genius that he is, trips Ketchum off his feet with a sweeping kick on the ground. Ketchum falls flat on the mat and K-Os tosses the World Title aside, making his way into the ring. The Dominator grabs Flexxx by the hair and spins the Porno Star around before decking him with a hard right. K-Os pummels Flexxx back with right after right, until finally clotheslining Flexxx out of the ring. K-Os turns to Jacob Helmsley and spins the Dementor around, decking him with a hard right. K-Os grabs Helmsley by the wrist and whips him to the ropes and on the rebound, ducks a clothesline and reaches up to plant Helmsley down with a reverse neckbreaker. Helmsley proves that he's still in the game and rises back up to his feet, only to get staggered back with a bone crushing headbutt. K-Os raises his boot and brings it into the face of Jacob Helmsley, knocking the Game's Brother out of the ring.

 

"(Axis) The Champion taking to business early. He's cleared out the entire ring except...."

 

"(Edwin) EREK TAYLOR!! WHOO!"

 

"(King) The fans have been waiting to get another piece of this match. After the victory on last Crimson, Taylor will be hoping for some redemption. Let's see if he gets it here."

 

K-Os drops into a crouch and begins waving for Erek Taylor. The High Flying Prince rises to his feet, a smile on his face that was not seen on Crimson. Taylor and K-Os begin to circle the ring, eyes locked upon each other until the two put their palms on each other's necks. K-Os gains the advantage with his strength, snapping on the hammerlock but the speed of Erek Taylor is unmatched and Taylor easily slips out of it and shoves K-Os to the ropes. K-Os rebounds and immediately goes for the counter, throwing out a clothesline but Erek Taylor leaps into the air, colliding both his boots with K-Os' body. The dropkick staggers K-Os over to the ropes as Taylor jumps back up and lunges forward, colliding a high angle superkick to K-Os' face, knocking the World Champion out of the ring, much to the deafening cheers from the fans.

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor with OUCH! the superkick! And he's still smiling!"

 

"(King) Well I'll be damned. A true champion would never get kicked out of the ring like that. Not even by a lil fast kid who only has good looks to win matches!"

 

"(Edwin) You seem jealous."

 

"(King) Oh shame come to you! I am merely stating facts. He may be good looking but he's not as stunning as I am. [poses]"

 

Taylor races the other way and prepares to rebound but Flexxx, on the outside, reaches up and pulls the top rope down, causing Taylor to stumble out of the ring. Flexxx and Erek Taylor, both have met only twice before and both times the High Flying Prince came out on top. The Raging Porno Star has only vengeance in mind as he snatches Taylor by the hair and cannons him into the steel pole. However, Taylor quickly spins around and sends Flexxx there instead, sending the Raging Porno Star flipping out of grounds and into the barricades. Taylor turns around, hoping to look for Jacob Helmsley and unfortunately, finds him racing forward. Helmsley catches Taylor unguarded with a hard right, backing the High Flying Prince to the barricades. Helmsley races forward yet again and brings both arms out, one for Taylor, the other for Flexxx, and successfully clotheslines both combatants out to the stands. Helmsley takes one look at the ring before jumping over the barricades and proceeding to deal some more damage to the two 'victims'.

 

"(Axis) Jacob Helmsley has always lived under his brother's shadow but now he gets to prove if he can step out to the light."

 

"(King) GO INTO THE LIGHT YOU MORON! Stupid kid needs some guidance, that's all."

 

"(Edwin) Heh, call him stupid and I think he'll beat you up."

 

"(King) Me? He cannot beat me! I can beat him down with both arms tied behind my back, BLINDFOLDED AS WELL!"

 

K-Os rises to his feet on the other side, getting a glance at Jacob Helmsley before finally turning around. Ketchum catches the champion offguarded and blindsides him with a hard right. The fans are literally trying to pay attention with all the action going on, now focusing on the Ketchum/K-Os fight. Ketchum snatches K-Os by the wrist and rolls the champion back into the ring. The Pokemaster slides in just as a rising K-Os catches sight. K-Os takes advantage and quickly moves forward, laying down a hard kick to Ketchum's gut. Ketchum sucks it up and rises to his feet, catching a missed punch in the air and shooting one of his own and connecting. Ketchum continues the assault, raining down hard rights, backing K-Os to the ropes. But K-Os has other things in mind and thrusts a fist forward, raking Ketchum in the eyes to daze the Pokemaster. K-Os snatches Ketchum by the wrist and whips him to the ropes but the momentum is still in Ketchum's hands and the Pokemaster spins around, countering the whip with a whip of his own. K-Os rebounds hard and fast, allowing Ketchum to leap into the air and land the Pokeball Press on K-Os!

 

"(Axis) Lou The-"

 

"(Edwin) Pokeball Press, you mean."

 

"(Axis) Yes that's right."

 

"(King) Stupid names for a stupid wrestler for a stupid group of jobbers! I AM THEIR BETTER! THEIR BET-TER!"

 

Ketchum lays down hard jabs to the right, to the left, to replenish the flame of the heated XF9/Clan rivalry. The Pokemaster gets back up and races to the ropes, rebounding as fast as he can before dropping an elbow into K-Os' gut. K-Os shows no sign of pain whatsoever as he rolls over on his stomach and begins pushing himself back to his feet. Ketchum quickly strikes again, delivering a dropkick to K-Os' ribs, no doubt dazing the Champion for awhile. Ketchum looks out to the fray in the stands, and quickly leaps into action, going to help his comrade-in-arms. Jacob Helmsley continues to alternate between Erek Taylor and Flexxx, making sure that both don't get up at the same time. This blinds him from the sight of Ash Ketchum, rushing in from behind. The Pokemaster leaps forward, grabbing Helmsley by the head and planting him to the concrete floor with a bulldog!!

 

"(Axis) Well it seems Ash Ketchum is the one exciting the crowd tonight!"

 

"(Edwin) Of course, Erek Taylor's all weakened up from his European Title battle!"

 

"(King) True champions never get tired. That means the kid don't deserve to be champ."

 

"(Edwin) And you do?"

 

Ketchum grabs Taylor's wrist and brings Taylor to his feet, making sure that Taylor's okay. Taylor nods and Ketchum goes back to work, delivering stomp after stomp after stomp to the midsection of Jacob Helmsley. Flexxx rises to his feet and tries to get a piece of Ketchum but Taylor spins the Raging Porno Star around and lays a hard chop across Flexxx's chest.

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!"

 

Taylor grabs Flexxx by the shoulders and pulls him down, drilling a kick into Flexxx's face before tossing the Porno Star over the barricade and into ringside. Taylor calls out to Ketchum, who immediately brings Helmsley back up and whips him to a waiting Erek Taylor. Taylor bends down and as Helmsley races forward, shoots his head up, flipping Helmsley over with a back body drop! Taylor immediately crouches back down and Ketchum races forward, using Taylor's back as a stool, he launches himself into the air and lands a crossbody block on whoever's standing, this time: Flexxx.

 

"(Axis) XF9 showing the teamwork that this stable has so longly shown."

 

"(King) Oh really? What about Sydney Sky? Annie E? They didn't actually show teamwork to those two. Maybe that's why they left!"

 

"(Edwin) Jeeze, why are you so negative?!"

 

"(King) Why are you so sleezy?"

 

"(Edwin) I asked you first!"

 

Taylor hops over the barricade, joining forces with Ketchum as the two XF9ers begin to pummel both Helmsley and Flexxx back to the apron. XF9 unleashes an ongoing combination of punches and kicks, not knowing that K-Os has slowly risen to his feet. K-Os takes his time, but realizes that he must act and races in at full speed, sliding down on the mat and drilling a boot into both Helmsley and Flexxx's heads. The two collapse immediately, sending Ketchum and Taylor jumping back a step. K-Os rolls out of the ring and sets his sights on the XF9ers, alternating punches between the two. K-Os blocks this, punches him, then punches the other guy, and so on. Finally, the numbers take effect, and Ketchum blindsides K-Os with a forearm, staggering the champion forward. Taylor moves into action, leaping into the air and as K-Os moves by, floors the champion with a superkick!

 

"(Axis) The Champ trying to get some offense going but XF9 has the odds here!"

 

"(Edwin) Sure does. I'm surprised K-Os even *thought* of trying to fight both Taylor and Ketchum."

 

"(King) I'm surprised that you're surprised, Edwin. A true champion would never back down from a challenge, making K-Os the more deserving of all."

 

"(Edwin) It's all about champions, isn't it?! Why don't you step out and smell the damn flowers!"

 

"(King) I'm allergic to pollen, you moron!"

 

Taylor and Ketchum shove K-Os to the barricade before joining hands and delivering a double clothesline that sends K-Os falling over to the other side. The XF9ers turn their attention to Helmsley, rolling the Sadist in. Inside the ring, Taylor strikes first, delivering a punch to Helmsley's jaw, staggering Helmsley to Ketchum, who shifts down and lunges a boot out. Helmsley turns to Taylor and the High Flying Prince immediately throws a right, but Helmsley desperately catches it in the air before thrusting a punch of his own. It connects with Taylor's chin and staggers the Prince of Fury back to the buckle. Helmsley swiftly spins around, dodging a Ketchum clothesline before shooting a kick out, nailing Ketchum in the midsection and stumbling the Pokemaster to the ropes.

 

"(Axis) Helmsley, manhandling both Erek Taylor *and* Ash Ketchum!"

 

"(King) You're exaggerating. It's just a lucky break."

 

Helmsley lunges forward with a clothesline but Ketchum quickly ducks under and moves forward, giving him some room so he can thrust out a boot into Helmsley's gut. But Helmsley anticipates every manuever, spinning around just in time to catch Ketchum's foot in the air. With no time to waste, Helmsley spins under Ketchum's leg, twisting it and knocking Ketchum to the ground with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip. Helmsley rises to his feet in confidence but it's quickly shaken up as Erek Taylor leaps forward, bringing a high forearm across Helmsley's forehead!! The patented Diving Adelphia!! The crowds begin to bring shockwaves of cheers as Taylor rises up and reaches out his hand to Ash Ketchum.

 

"(Axis) Now that's true friendship."

 

"(Edwin) Why can't you and I be like that, King?"

 

"(King) Because you like pandas....."

 

"(Edwin) But they're so cute, so cudd-"

 

"(King) ENOUGH ALREADY!"

 

Ketchum takes Taylor's hand and gets pulled back up to his feet. The two XF9ers pat each other on the back before heading out to their different ways. Or so we thought. Erek Taylor never lets go of Ketchum's hand and pulls the Pokemaster back, grabbing him by the waist and hoisting him into the air. Taylor swiftly dives forward and plants Ketchum to the ground with a hard spinebuster, shaking up the ring immensely! Immediately after, Taylor brings Ketchum's legs into a "V" formation before crossing it up and spinning around to lock in the Sharpshooter Hold! The referee scrambles and urges, asks Ketchum for submission but the Pokemaster will not be played like this!

 

"(King) HA! That's what you call friendship!"

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor bringing Ketchum back and nailing him with the spinebuster, following with the Sharpshooter!"

 

"(Edwin) Well, it's the World Title. I remember when Taylor did the same to Low Brass, it's just competition, no harm done."

 

"(King) And I'm sure Ash would have done the same."

 

Ketchum grimaces in pain, screaming at the top of his lung as he feels his hand trying to tap the mat. But he won't let it. Mustering all the strength he has in him, Ketchum tries to break free but the hold is snapped on tight and nothing Ketchum does will get him out of it. Finally, Ketchum realizes the painful truth and begins tapping furiously...... yet there is no bell after. The pain has gone! Ketchum rolls over and realizes that Flexxx has entered the ring and pushed Taylor off him. The referee doesn't see the tap, focusing on Taylor and Flexxx at this moment. Taylor goes for the countering punch but Flexxx immediately blocks it and brings a boot up into Taylor's midsection, doubling the High Flying Prince over. Flexxx quickly moves into position, grabbing Taylor by the head before leaping into the air, moving 180 degrees before pulling Taylor's head down and snapping the Twisterf*ck Stunner!!! Taylor bounces into the air and Flexxx quickly crawls over, hooking the leg of Erek Taylor.

 

"(Axis) TWISTERF*CK!! FLEXXX WITH THE AMAZING STUNNER AND NOW THE CHAMPION IS HEADING BACK TO THE RING!!"

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- OOOOHHH!!!!! K-Os reaches in and pulls Flexxx off Taylor, saving his title for another soul. K-Os slides in and immediately gets knocked back with a punch from Flexxx. The Lone Star Fighter takes out his frustration, parading the Champion with continous rights and lefts to the midsection. K-Os sucks it up and shoves Flexxx back before moving in and delivering a hard clothesline that floors Flexxx! K-Os quickly drops to a crouching stance, waiting as Flexxx rises to his feet. As Flexxx tursn, K-Os moves in, delivering a kick that doubles Flexxx over. Pulling Flexxx in as fast as he can, K-Os flips the Raging Porno Star up and begins spinning......

 

"(Axis) H*LL HELIX! FLEXXX IS GOING FOR THE RIDE OF HIS LIFE!!!"

 

"(King) Ah yes, I never liked his porn anyways."

 

"(Edwin) You've *watched* his porn?"

 

"(King) Um, um, of course not!"

 

K-Os completes the 360 degree turn and immediately pivots before spiking Flexxx down to the ground. The impact shakes up the ring as K-Os pushes Flexxx's legs over his body, getting the pin down.

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE- OOOOOOOH!!! And again, another fall has been interrupted! Jacob Helmsley reaches in and grabs K-Os' feet before pulling the Champion out of the ring! Outside, Helmsley swings a hard right but K-Os blocks it and retaliates with a right of his own. Helmsley gets knocked back, almost tripping over the electrical chords but manages to catch his balance and jump forward to deliver a right to K-Os. The Champion catches the punch in the air and just like that, floors Helmsley to the ground with a clothesline. K-Os grabs Helmsley by the hair and drags the Game's Brother back up to his feet. With a mighty stroke, K-Os cannons Helmsley into the announcer's table, shaking its foundation and startling all three announcers.

 

"(Axis) K-Os makes Brett Favre look like a sissy!"

 

"(Edwin) With that throw, hell, he makes even the top pitchers sissies!"

 

"(King) All except me. I can throw someone into something even faster."

 

"(Edwin) I'd very much like to see that."

 

K-Os moves in for another round, assaulting Helmsley with continous kicks that push Helmsley to the barricade. K-Os grabs Helmsley and drags him back up, using one fist and delivering a punch that sends Helmsley spinning into the steel stairs. K-Os walks in, continuing his assault of punches that continues to push Helmsley further up the ramp. All attention focuses in on the two, who stand devilishly near the edge. K-Os pushes Helmsley back, so hard it brings flashbacks of Crimson's match. Helmsley slams on the brakes, barely able to maintain his speed as he is left tiltering over the edge. Helmsley catches his balance and moves back, realizing that this is about to be a replay of Crimson. Knowing every move K-Os is doing, Helmsley turns around....... to find K-Os racing forward!!! K-Os lowers his head, ready for the Gore but Helmsley swiftly steps to the side and grabs K-Os by the hair, pulling the Champion back in in a noble act. Noble for a minute, that is. Helmsley rakes K-Os in the eye, staggering the champion back as he pulls out..... THE LEAD PIPE!!! Waves of boos begin to pour down as Helmsley races over and brings the lead pipe crashing over K-Os' skull!!!

 

"(Axis) LEAD PIPE TO THE FOREHEAD!!! JACOB HELMSLEY IS GETTING HIS DEADLY TACTICS BACK!"

 

"(King) Oh how I dread this day."

 

Helmsley quickly brings the lead pipe over K-Os' body once more, hopefully shattering some or whatever bones that K-Os has in that demented body of his. Helmsley tosses the pipe aside before grabbing K-Os by the hair and dragging the Champion down to the ring. Helmsley rolls the Dominator in before crawling in himself and hooking the leg for the cover.....

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- OOOOOH!!! Ash Ketchum with a burst, leaping forward and planting a forearm across Helmsley's head to stop the pin.

 

"(Axis) And Ash Ketchum breaks the cover up."

 

"(King) Well Helmsley should have pinned K-Os up there quickly."

 

"(Edwin) You can't! It may be a No DQ match but falls only count in the ring. And you call yourself a champion....."

 

"(King) I thought it was a hardcore match!"

 

Ketchum, revitalized, rises to his feet, meeting the adrenaline filled Jacob Helmsley with a hard right. The Pokemaster wins this exchange, cornering Helmsley at the buckle and raining down hard rights and lefts to the Sadist. Ketchum flips his hand over and lashes out, bringing a hard chop across Helmsley's chest.

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!"

 

Ketchum grabs Helmsley by the wrist before hurling him to the opposite corner, hard. Helmsley staggers forward, arching his back in pain as Ketchum races in, swinging a wild right. Fortunately, the clothesline lands and Helmsley falls flat on the canvas as Ketchum hops over for the pin. He doesn't get a one as Flexxx grabs Ketchum by the foot and pulls the Pokemaster off.

 

"(Axis) Ash Ketchum now the one who is on the offensive. Flexxx and Taylor now recovering."

 

Flexxx staggers to his feet, his hand still holding Ketchum by the foot. The Pokemaster hops up on one and immediately brings his free foot across Flexxx's face, erupting a wave of cheers from the fans. Flexxx drops to his knees, holding his face in pain as he rises back up again. Ketchum moves in for another attack, thrusting a fist into Flexxx's eyes before grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him to the ropes. Wasting no time, Ketchum races forward and as Flexxx rebounds, The Pokemaster connects with a clothesline that stumbles Flexxx out of the ring! Ketchum heads out, just as Taylor and Helmsley begin to rise.

 

"(Axis) And Flexxx has been knocked out of the ring..."

 

"(King) K-Os is knocked out."

 

"(Edwin) My girlfriend is getting knocked up...."

 

"(King) But you're still here."

 

"(Edwin) I know. WHY IS SHE CHEATING ON ME?!"

 

Taylor catches sight of Jacob Helmsley, immediately pouncing into action, laying a parade of chops to the chest of Helmsley. Every chop echoes throughout the arena, erupting massive "OOOH!"s from the crowds. Taylor backs Helmsley to the corner, and begins thrusting his shoulder into Helmsley's gut. With every shoulder tackle, Helmsley spits out a larger amount of saliva, knowing that he will eventually have to throw up if this continues. Helmsley quickly raises his fists into the air, throwing it down in a drunken rage and floors the High Flying Prince. Helmsley grabs Taylor by the hair, dragging the XF9 heartthrob to his feet before decking him with a bonecrushing hook! Taylor staggers back to the buckle and immediately, Helmsley returns the favor, driving an elbow into Taylor's neck. Helmsley drives another elbow, a third, a fourth, a fifth, before grabbing Taylor by the wrist and whipping him to the opposite corner.

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor getting manhandled by the once great Assassin!"

 

"(King) And K-Os is still knocked out."

 

"(Edwin) He'll recover. After all, he's the champion, isn't he?"

 

Helmsley races in at full speed, head first and aiming at a gore but Taylor slips his hands on the top rope, pulling himself up at the last possible moment. Taylor swiftly rolls over Helmsley's back, pulling the Sadist over and locking in the Sunset Flip!

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- and Helmsley kicks out!! Taylor backflips up to his feet, crouching down with his hands out, ready for combat. Helmsley slowly rises, looking at the young fighter and pondering up a strategy. Taylor doesn't wait long, rushing in at full speed. The young fighter's agility is used against him as Helmsley merely steps to the side, sticking out his foot and tripping Erek Taylor back into the buckle. With that stroke of intelligence, Helmsley regains his confidence and throws a heavy right and connects! Erek Taylor gets knocked over the top rope and stumbles out of the ring! Helmsley looks to K-Os, rolling the championg back over and going for a second cover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- NOOOOO!!! K-Os kicks out!!!

 

"(Axis) There's still some life left in that son of a gun!"

 

"(Edwin) You think?!"

 

Ketchum and Flexxx continue duking it out, both not able to overpower the other. Ketchum finally switches gears and blocks a punch before driving a knee into Flexxx's midsection. Flexxx pauses for a moment and Ketchum takes advantage, grabbing Flexxx by the hair and whipping him straight into the steel pole! The pole instantly rings as Flexxx spins out of proportion before landing hard on the side of the barricade near the announcer's table. Ketchum races in and delivers a hard right. Ketchum drills another right, sending Flexxx to seek comfort on top of the announcer's table!

 

"(Axis) I think we better get up."

 

"(Edwin) No doubt about that."

 

"(King) Why? You're all p*ssies."

 

Ketchum flips Flexxx over and rains down right after right, making sure that Flexxx is dazed hard enough. Ketchum throws Flexxx aside, beginning the process of stripping the announcer's table's padding, monitors, microphones, wires, etc. After it's all said and done, Ketchum grabs Flexxx by the hair, bringing the Lone Star Fighter up to his feet and tossing him on top of the pine table. Ketchum climbs the table along, bringing Flexxx up to his feet. Holding both of the Lone Star Fighter's arms, Ketchum crosses it up into a Full Nelson Hold, preparing to hoist the Porno Star into the air. But sometimes, things don't go exactly as planned. Flexxx begins struggling and finally withers out of the hold before shooting a boot up backwards.....

 

 

 

AND CONNECTS WITH KETCHUM'S GROIN!! A rush of pain goes through Ketchum as the Pokemaster falls to his knees, holding his crotch in pain as Flexxx rises to his feet. Flexxx grabs Ketchum by the arm, pulling him in as to set up for an Olympic Slam. Flexxx quickly hoists Ketchum in the air and as Ketchum falls, Flexxx switches gears and grabs Ketchum by the head before planting the Pokemaster through the table with the Golden Gun!!!!

 

"(Axis) OH DEAR GOD!! THE OLYMPIC SLAM TO A DIAMOND CUTTER!!!"

 

"(King) Call it by its name, dimwit! THE GOLDEN GUN!! BANG BANG!!!"

 

"(Edwin) Ash Ketchum has been hit with the Golden Gun after trying to nail the Lullaby of Jigglypuff. Flexxx may be on his way to victory!"

 

Flexxx and Ketchum lie on the ground, splinters of wood and shattered pines spread everywhere. The two, breathless and battered, begin to wonder: Is there any chance? Ketchum's eyes begin to black out as waves of pain begin to ride through his body continously. Flexxx rolls on to his side, slowly pushing himself back up to his feet so he can continue on his quest for glory. Inside the ring, Helmsley brings K-Os back up to his feet, decking the champion with a hard right before planting him to the ground with a snap suplex. Helmsley quickly crawls over to the Champion's legs and holds on to it before turning around and locking in the Single Crab.

 

"(Axis) And Jacob Helmsley is just another submission away from the World Title he so longly quested for."

 

"(King) I doubt it. He was probably looking at porno before he came. SUCH DISGRACE!"

 

The referee scrambles down, asking K-Os for submission but before K-Os can give an answer, Helmsley lets go of the hold, hooking his leg around K-Os' leg and applying the Indian Deathlock! Helmsley begins falling on his back, gradually increasing the pressure as he applies his patented manuever, the Fear Factor!

 

"(Axis) FEAR FACTOR!! The modified Indian Deathlock!"

 

"(Edwin) Wow, I never thought the fool would use it!"

 

"(King) Fool? He's evil! He's magnificent!"

 

"(Edwin) And to think just moments ago you called him disgraceful."

 

Jacob Helmsley continues to hold, thoughts of the World Title on his shoulder in his mind. He is oblivious to his surroundings, not knowing that Flexxx has risen up and ascended up the ropes and is now perched on the top turnbuckle. Jacob Helmsley continues the hold, and only the fans can see what's happening. Flexxx leaps into the air, flipping into a Hangover and crashing down hard on Jacob Helmsley's body!!! NOOO!!!! He knew all along!!! Helmsley slides out of the way just in time and Flexxx hits nothing but canvas with his Money Shot!!! Helmsley chuckles and quickly applies the Fear Factor on K-Os yet again.

 

"(Axis) MONEY SHOT MISSED!!! Flexxx went fifteen feet only to fly into nothing but canvas!"

 

"(King) He should have aimed."

 

"(Edwin) Or he shouldn't have actually did what he did."

 

Realizing that K-Os will not give up, Helmsley lets go of the hold and rolls out of the ring, seeking more weapons to deal even more damage. Looking under the ring, Helmsley pulls out the rising steps of doom, also known as the ladder! Helmsley sets up the ladder, making sure it's sturdy before heading back to the ring. Walking towards K-Os, Helmsley sees at the corner of his eye that Flexxx is rising to his feet. Seeking more active prey, Helmsley spins Flexxx around and delivers a right, staggering the Lone Star Fighter to the buckles. Not wasting anytime, Helmsley grabs Flexxx by the wrist and whips him to the ropes but Flexxx quickly counters and sends Helmsley there instead. Helmsley rebounds and immediately throws a clothesline but Flexxx ducks under and pulls Helmsley's arm in, immediately setting up for the Golden Gun.

 

"(Axis) And Flexxx setting up with another Golden Gun!"

 

"(Edwin) Well he already knocked Ketchum out with one, let's see if he's going to do the same with Jacob Helmsley."

 

"(King) Sadly, I have nothing to say."

 

Flexxx tries pulling Helmsley up but the Assassin elbows out of it, saving himself from a possible defeat. Flexxx grabs his ribs in pain but swings a hard clothesline in retaliation. Helmsley ducks under and spins around, delivering a kick to Flexxx's gut and planting the Lone Star Fighter to the ground with the Evenflow DDT! Helmsley crawls over for the cover when K-Os crawls over Helmsley, hooking his legs around one arm and using his own hands to grab the other. K-Os quickly pulls on the arms while driving his knees into Helmsley's back.... ETERNAL CROSS!!!

 

"(Axis) And the Champ has something to say and it's called the Eternal Cross!"

 

"(King) Something to say? You mean, something to prove."

 

The referee asks Helmsley for submission and the Assassin is just about to give. Flexxx is in a distorted position, under both Helmsley and K-Os. Outside the ring, Ketchum is lying broken and battered on the table, still unable to move after the Golden Gun. The other side? Whoever there is, it's bringing cheers to the fans. And it's Erek Taylor! Taylor climbs up the ladder step by step in a hurry, eyes locked on the target that is K-Os. Balancing himself on the top step, Taylor faces the other way before leaping into the air, performing a corkscrew before aiming his head straight down on the body of K-Os!! Cameras begin to flash, screams begin to be heard but nothing changes the fact as Erek Taylor dives down and crashes down on the champion with that ever so famous manuever! The manuever known as the FAME AND FURY X!!!!

 

"(Edwin) YIPPPEEE!!!!!"

 

"(Axis) FAME AND FURY X! A MOVE WE HAVE NOT SEEN IN AGES!"

 

"(King) Well it's a special occassion, Taylor knows that."

 

Taylor holds his head in pain as he shoves Helmsley aside, shoves Flexxx aside, and pulls K-O's right leg up into a pin! The referee scrambles down to make the count, getting the fans into attention who chant along!!

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

***Ding ding ding!!!***

 

"(Axis) FAME AND FURY X FOR THE WIN!!!!"

 

"(King) Bastard!! ARGH!!!"

 

The crowds are deafening, literally shaking the foundation of the Gund Arena with their deafening cheers. "Toxicity" begins to play but it can't even be heard from the sheer volume of the Cleveland fans!

 

"(Funyon) The winner of this match and the *NEW* SJL WORLD CHAMPION...... EREK!!!! TAAAAYYYLLLOOOOORRR!!!!!"

 

Erek Taylor crawls off K-Os, collapsing aside as a scene of broken bodies is portrayed in and around the squared circle. The High Flying Prince has lost his breath, panting heavily as the referee places the World Title on Erek Taylor's waist.

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor, our *new* SJL Champion!"

 

"(King) He's gonna have to be really a true champion to keep it."

 

"(Edwin) No kidding!"

 

Taylor slowly rises to his feet, the World Title strap in his hand. It's funny, this little piece of gold has caused so many friends to go against each other, so many enemies to hate all others, and caused nothing but chaos. Taylor eyes the belt suspiciously, hooking it around his waist and immediately rolling out the ring, heading towards the announcers' table.... or what's left of it. Grabbing Ash by the arm, Taylor helps the XF9 comrade up before the two walk up the ramp, a display of friendship that the fans can't help but applaud.

 

"(Axis) Now ain't that something."

 

"(King) Stop looking at me that way, Edwin."

 

"(Edwin) [sighs] I'm just wondering why we can't be that way."

 

"(King) I already said it, you're weird!"

 

Taylor and Ketchum disappear into the back, as the SJL copyright signs begin to flash, leaving a ring with K-Os, Helmsley, and Flexxx beaten in it. And in their heads, that witty remark keeps on popping up.....

 

"Better luck next time...."

[Guest crusen86]

Summary of this fucking brilliant edition of Metal!

 

No DQ European Title Match

Erek Taylor © vs. Shawn Brody vs. Ced Ordonez vs. Mike Van Siclen

WINNER & NEW SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION: Mike Van Siclen

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Xero

WINNER: Mafia (Default)

 

TV Title #1 & 2 Contendership Match

Cutthroat vs. The Dark Reaper vs. Kojack

WINNER: Kojack (Dark Reaper is the other TV contender)

 

European Title #1 Contendership Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs. Z vs. "Deathwish" Danny Williams

WINNER: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher

 

No DQ World Title Match

K-Os © vs. Erek Taylor vs. Ash Ketchum vs. Flexxx vs. Jacob Helmsley

WINNER & NEW SJL WORLD CHAMPION: Erek Taylor