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Searching for Answers 5/30/03: Rob Van Who?

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Guest TSMAdmin

Howdy folks and welcome back to Searching for Answers, the ONLY column with a name that Vince McMahon uses to promote bad pay per views!


I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day, complete with flags, barbecue and alcohol. (To all my international readers: I know you want to be Americans anyway, so I just assumed that you celebrated the holiday as well.)


Jeff Hardy Update! For the first time since he was fired, (A little over a month ago and eight hours after I called for his canning) Jeff competed in a wrestling ring. It was an Indy based in SC, or so I'm told. Jeff wrestled in his Jinx Brothers mask and an evening gown. That is just unspeakably sad.




Well, WWF TV this week was some of the worst, unentertaining horseshit this side fifteen minute Klique brawls. The unfunny lie detector, Benoit jobbing to O'Haire, Lesnar jobbing to Big Show, the return of Randy Orton the Gay Frenchies being put over RVD were some lowlights. And speaking of RVD...


I Just Don't Care About RVD Anymore



Well, someone was out to fuck Rob Van Dam over. I don't know if it was Vince, Stephanie, Hunter or someone else, and frankly, I don't care. All I know is that they are one step closer to their goal. The recent booking of RVD has caused me to jut stop caring when he comes out.


Now, I used to be a big supporter of RVD. Sure he's not technically sound, but his matches were fun, and damnit, the crowd loved him. So, logically, it made sense for the WWF to push him to the top, right? I mean it wasn't like he could have done any worse than HHH was presently doing anyway, so just give him the shot.


But of course, that's logical thinking, a big no-no in McMahon world so the RVD threat is vanquished with a Pedigree in the middle of the ring at Unforgiven, and defeated multiple times by HHH since. Le sigh.


Well, at this point, RVD's main event days were numbered, but he was still over, so the WWF got desperate in their attempts to kill Rob's fan interest. First they tried jobbing him out to anyone in sight. That didn't work. Then they left him off Armageddon. That nearly caused a riot. So they went to an old standby to try and ruin Rob.




Kane pretty much defines "Ya love him or ya hate him." Some people love the character, the power moves and the plodding. An often heard battle cry is "Not bad for a big guy!" I disagree with that whole line of thinking, but that's horse of a totally different color.


Personally, Kane bores the sit out of me. I am NOT a fan of plodding power workers. I don't think anyone in the WWF today is "not bad for a big guy." In fact, I'd have to say that my "big guy" standard is Vader. When one of the WWF hossi APPROACH that level, call me.


Anyway, aside from the workrate, I hate his character. The history is so fucked up that I can't even be bothered to figure it out anymore. Long story short, Kane was able caused me to willingly miss most of the Angle/Kane Mania feud-and Kurt is my favorite wrestler.


So, they teamed Rob with Kane, seemingly with a break up, heel turn and horrible match awaiting these two. I cringed. But at least Rob would defeat Kane and vault back to the top, right?


God no. The team continued to roll on, losing to teams like Lance Storm and Val Venis (with Rob jobbing to moves like a DDT and an elbow) while running a hideously boring and inconsistent "tension" angle. Whoopie!


Eventually they won the titles, much to the delight of basically no one. The fans like the team, but they certainly don't love it. Rob's pops are growing smaller every week, and the team is way past the stale point.


With all this in mind, I turned Raw on this week. And when he came out for the flag match, I actually groaned. I simply did not want to see him out there. I didn't care who won the match, I didn't care if they fought at the PPV, and I didn't care about Rob Van Dam.


This is a guy I once really enjoyed seeing. I like his matches, and got excited when he came out, I wanted him to defeat all his opponents. Now, thanks to this SHITTY booking, I couldn't give a fuck.


Thanks, WWF. You really do cater to the fans.


Matt Ditaliano

[email protected]

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