Compilation tape #1: Ring of Honor, Japan and ECW

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Feedback

 

Sorry, but the TSM mail server has been playing up, and now it’s rejecting my password. So there’s no caption contest this week, and no responses from last week. I’ll do a feedback Q&A session later this week, along with some of the entries from the contest. AND as a bonus, I’ll include my thoughts on Bad Blood, which I have on tape right now. Although after reading Dames’ Diatribe on the show, I’m not looking forward to it.

 

Intro

 

In an attempt to broaden my horizons, I’ve picked up a few wrestling matches from different places, including Ring of Honor and Japan. This is my first time reviewing matches, so give me a chance – but let me know what you think.

 

Also, since I have no knowledge whatsoever of the wrestlers (well, some of them) or backstory going into the matches, I think this’ll be interesting. Probably not very good, but interesting.

 

Spanky vs. “The Phoenix” Jody Fleisch

 

Show is unnamed, although there are Ring of Honor banners up. The commentators really play up on Spanky’s training and short fuse, and manage to do so SUBTLY, which earns them mad bonus points. I recognise Fleisch from a televised UK show a year or two ago, and Spanky is obviously Brian Kendrick.

 

Spanky starts with an armbar, which Fleisch flips twice to get out of, and counters with one of his own. Spanky counters with his own, as Fleisch hits a leg-sweep (similar to those in Mortal Kombat and that you never see in real life)

 

Kendrick goes against the ropes, and they duel with armbars. Roll up gets two for Fleisch, but Spanky gets an armbar. A roll out of it is attempted, but Spanky keeps the hold. Hurricanrana and spinning heel kick for Fleisch, as Kendrick takes a powder. Fleisch goes for a dive, but Spanky crotches him on the rope.

 

Back in with an Eddie Guerrero style dive over the top, and a suplex for two. Spinning heel kick, also for two. High angle backdrop also gets two, but Jody punches his way back up. Sliced Bread #2 is blocked, and Spanky is thrown to the outside.

 

Fleisch tries for a top rope moonsault to the outside, but hits his legs BIG TIME on the crowd barrier. Fucking hell – that was crazy. Back in, and Fleisch’s Shooting Star Press misses, but he lands on his feet. Neat.

 

Awesome reversal sequence, from Fleisch’s attempted flying headscissors into attempted powerbomb into sunset flip for two. 720 DDT attempt misses, as Fleisch hits the mat, but Spanky only gets two.

 

Spanky wins with the Sliced Bread #2 in about 5:00. Fantastic spot fest, excellent cruiserweight stuff, despite moves not really being sold – Jody was up before Spanky after almost breaking his legs on the barrier, then immediately, he went for the SSP and LANDS ON HIS FEET.

 

WINNER: Spanky

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Low Ki

 

Again, Ring of Honor. Christopher Daniels is all kinds of scary. Low Ki with some huge kicks to start. Really stiff – and I mean stiffer than Tajiri. Excellent psychology here – Low Ki isn’t fucking about with wrestling moves. He’s going in with huge kicks, headbutts, and a side headlock. More kicks, and he’s flipped off by Daniels. Low Ki RULES motherfucker.

 

Low Ki is on the top rope, and Daniels goes for a punch, which is countered into an awesome armbar that has to be seen to be believed. More super stiff kicks, and sadly they are both selling the same, despite Low Ki not taking much damage.

 

Daniels hits a huge clothesline onto Low Ki’s injured neck, who sells it like a champion. Gutwrench suplex is also oversold, and Daniels even shows how shaken he is by the earlier shots – WWE take note.

 

Daniels is going for the Bret Hart school of psychology – Attack everything, and wear the fucker down. Low Ki is made out to be a hero, as Daniels goes from a single leg crab to an STF, into a bow and arrow stretch.

 

Low Ki hits a desperation kick on Daniels, but a Perfectplex is blocked. Low Ki is hung up on the top rope, and a huge body slam, with the impact on the neck.

 

Daniels hit’s the Angel’s Wing, but only gets two. Not much is made of the kick out. Ki Crusher is hit, and both men take a rest. Daniels hits Low Ki, but collapses, and is pinned for 2. These guys rock, but the crowd just aren’t into it.

 

Daniels taps at about 12:20 to Low Ki’s modified Cobra Clutch / Million Dollar Dream combination. Brilliant stuff, much better than the shit that’s churned out on Raw every week.

 

WINNER: Low Ki

 

Rey Mysterio Jr vs. Psichosis

 

This is ECW, and looks to be mid 90s. Definitely early days from Extreme Championship Wrestling, and indeed early for Mysterio. Indeed, it’s apparently both men’s ECW debut. Mysterio is only 20 here.

 

Lock up to start, and Psichosis takes a powder. Hammerlock on Mysterio into a bulldog variation. Mysterio hits a huge snapmare, and attempts a lionsault, but lands on his feet. This shit is moving FAST. Springboard into an armdrag by Mysterio, and Psichosis is out. Even the commentator is having trouble keeping up. Shoulderblock by Psichosis, and as Rey drops, Psichosis catches the ropes and drops an elbow.

 

Tigerbomb, then Mysterio is launched into the air. Rey is jammed – UPSIDE DOWN – between Psichosis and the ringpost. Psichosis uses the ropes~! and drops a knee onto Rey’s back. Press slam into the turnbuckle, then a huge dropkick into the corner. Single arm Frisbee slam, into a leg drop. Huge chops, again in the corner, then a huge split legged splash into the corner. How is Mysterio still alive?! Second splash misses, and West Coast Pop (unnamed) gets 2.

 

Rey hits a cartwheel-into sitting on Psichosis’ shoulders-into hurricanrana, and he RULES. Psichosis isn’t selling though, and they trade chops on the apron. Kneedrop misses, and Rey showboats in the ring. Mysterio misses a splash, and Psichosis is back in control.

 

Top-rope legdrop gets two, as the commentators put the referee over huge. Tigerbomb gets two, and Mysterio bails off a spinning heel kick. They use the “diving through the ropes and getting hit in the head by a chair” spot, that Benoit and Jericho used at the Rumble a couple of years back.

 

Both men are back in, and two dropkicks on Mysterio’s quad, and a poweslam put him down. Psichosis goes up and hits a variant on Jeff Hardy’s whisper in the wind for two. Commentator doesn’t know what the hell to call that one. Flying knee misses and Psichosis goes into the crowd, as Mysterio hits a 619 on nothing, as a taunt. Top rope plancha from Mysterio hits Psichosis and half of the second row. Psichosis goes up, but a Frankensteiner from the top finishes the match for Mysterio at 11:30.

 

Good stuff, an excellent lucha libre style match, with Mysterio giving everything. At times, Psichosis made Mysterio look a pussy, but nobody outside of Kurt Angle ever sells properly for Rey.

 

WINNER: Rey Mysterio, JR

 

Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon

 

Over to Japan now, and apparently this is from “WAR” (tagline: Wrestle and Romance). Handshake to start, and it seems that both men are faces. Headlock, and shoulder block to start, and they run a more athletic version of the 80’s WWF style criss-cross. Rana gets two for Ultimo, and Jericho hits a German Suplex, with Ultimo on his shoulders, again for two. Gorilla slam puts Dragon outside, and Jericho hits a plancha to the outside.

 

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Ultimo is laying in the middle, as Jericho hits a Benoit style headbutt for two. Tiger bomb gets two. Springboard dropkick puts Jericho to the outside, and an Asai moonsault follows.

 

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Jericho pulls Ultimo down as he gets in the ring himself. Jericho is getting more heely. Crucifix pin gets two for Ultimo, as does a Frankensteiner. Lionsault misses by Ultimo, and he lands badly on his leg. Jericho capitalises awesomely with a figure four, and I’m eating this up. Ultimo is selling like a champ, and it looks like they move half way across the ring, but it’s just a camera angle change. Dragon gets the ropes (and a round of applause!)

 

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Jericho’s Superplex is countered into a release X-Factor, and gets two. Spinning DDT by Jericho gets two, as does a perfect German suplex. Jericho showboars on the top rope, but a hurricanrana follows, and is countered into a powerbomb for two. Then a powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Brilliant stuff.

 

Lionsault attempt by Jericho, and he’s dropkicked while UPSIDE MOTHERFUCKING DOWN in the air. This shit is amazing. Dragon signals for something, but is caught on the top rope by Jericho. Sunset flip by Ultimo gets 2.9999999, and Jericho manages a springboard style roll-up for the win at about 8:30, but clipped.

 

Jericho kicks so much ass when he’s allowed to go out and do his thing, but WWE have pretty much cut his balls off there. My only real complaint (apart from how short it was) is that Jericho didn’t sell in the long term, and popped up a couple of times from huge moves. Although the amount of intestinal fortitude he must have for taking a dropkick while upside down… holy shit.

 

WINNER: Chris Jericho

 

Pegasus Kid vs. Black Tiger

 

Pegasus is obviously Benoit, and Tiger is Eddie Guerrero. Not sure on promotion or date, but Benoit looks about 10 years younger than he does now. Eddie is masked.

 

They wrestle over a waistlock, and Tiger hits an armlock, which Pegasus cartwheels(!) out of. Leg lock by Pegasus is countered, and this is impressive to watch. Tiger works BOTH legs in a smart move. He stamps the legs, and Benoit’s head. Flip over the top rope, and then MORE stamping. Gutwrench suplex barely gets two, and Tiger’s back into a headscissors. Tiger pulls Benoit up, and trips him.

 

Stalling suplex is countered into a regular suplex, as Benoit takes control. Benoit rolls around Eddie, and hits a STIFF clothesline. Suplex to the outside is blocked, but Pegasus knocks Black Tiger down anyway. Chops, then a suplex onto the top rope. German suplex gets 1.5, as Benoit still sells the legs. Hard powerbomb gets two, and Eddie gets his foot on the ropes after a fisherman’s suplex. Have you noticed how every move Benoit hits is so crisp? Benoit now with the headscissors, but Eddie counters a knee to the midsection with an armdrag.

 

Eddie now with a hurricanrana, and German suplex for 2. Cobra clutch looks awesome. Actually, I always wondered why people kept their arms back when in the Cobra Clutch, but Benoit makes it look like it hurts less that way.

 

Eddie goes up to the top, but a dropkick is pushed aside, and Benoit hits a huge high angle backdrop for two. The selling here from both guys is absolutely amazing. Test of strength (!), which Black Tiger rolls through to counter. Tiger continues the hold on one hand, while jumping ONTO THE TOP ROPE AND STAYING THERE, then turning around into a hurricanrana for a two count. Fuck me this is good stuff.

 

Pegasus looks dead out there, as a second hurricanrana gets two, and a round of applause. Stalling suplex, and Black Tiger makes the same “lasso” gesture that Ultimo made. Top rope DDT is countered, as Benoit makes the gesture, followed by the throat cut. Eddie tries to do something on the top rope, but the camera is unhelpful. Eddie pushes him back, and goes for a crossbody, which is countered into an armdrag for the pin at 11:00.

 

Fucking hell, I’m exhausted from watching it. Another example of two workers who can go out there, work magic, and not need a ref-bump or anything. Yet WWE is not playing to their strengths. What a shame – what a waste.

 

WINNER: Pegasus Kid

 

CIMA vs. Jushin Liger

 

From the Super J Cup. Liger is... different.

 

Stare down to open, as (I think) a Liger chant breaks out. Lock up, then, and Liger gets an armbar, and takes CIMA down with it. CIMA pushes on Liger’s legs, but he’s back with a headlock. Cool upside down bow-and-arrow lock by CIMA, into a headlock. I’m noticing a pattern here.

 

Snapmare by CIMA, and he stamps on Liger’s hand or head. It isn’t sold either way. Headlock from behind, but Liger slides back and CIMA falls. Hammerlock, and in a cool spot, Liger bounces CIMA’s head off the mat with his knee. Steiner Recliner, and it’s a fucking evil one. Pulling REALLY hard. CIMA tries to stand, but is kneed in the small of the back.

 

Snapmare puts him down, and Liger gets him in a kind of body vice. CIMA shakes out, and puts on a camel clutch of his own. Bow and arrow stretch is attempted, but CIMA resists. Eventually it is snapped on, and pulled into a waistlock and headlock combination. Liger stamps the back again, to keep him down, then taunts him to get up. Piledriver gets two, and Liger goes back to a sleeper. CIMA throws him off, but is shoulderblocked down. Chops in the corner put him down again – seriously, he’s selling them like he’s been shot.

 

Desperation hurricanrana puts Liger down, and CIMA gets his second wind. Sweet Chin Music puts Liger down for two, and as he’s on the ground, a MONSTER dropkick to Liger’s head knocks him out of the ring. Plancha over the top knocks him down, and CIMA throws him back in. A fury of punches and chops in the corner knock Liger down, but CIMA looks hurt and PISSED. Knee to the face in the corner, but a second is blocked with a clothesline. CIMA is up though, and throws Liger over his head from the top rope. Excellent stuff. Liger is put back on the top rope, and is hit with a massive uppercut, and a second sitout overhead toss.

 

CIMA goes up to the top rope, and goes for a double axehandle, but is kicked in the stomach. It amazes me that after nearly 20 years of seeing that spot, this is the first time that I’ve ever seen anyone pretend to attempt a move before being kicked.

 

CIMA is stomped in the corner, and as the referee tries to intervene, Liger pushes him back. He doesn’t go down though. Sitout Powerbomb puts CIMA down for two, and he’s PISSED AGAIN. Brainbuster gets two, and CIMA is getting really angry, and manages to counter a punch into a dragon sleeper into a reverse DDT. ***** Frog Splash gets two, and Liger is taunting CIMA. Dropkick to the stomach stalls that though, and CIMA slaps him in the face. Shoulderblock puts CIMA down, followed by two Brainbusters. Liger gets the victory at about 13:00, and CIMA is STILL PISSED~!

 

Handshake is refused by CIMA, but Liger punches him friendlily on the chest and leaves.

 

Interesting match, playing off CIMA getting more and more angry at not being able to win, in a similar way to Christian did last year. However, this was much more effective, as him losing the match was actually meaningful.

 

WINNER: Jushin Liger

 

Hulk Hogan vs. Great Muta

 

This could be interesting. I’m sure I’ve heard this called the greatest match of Hogan’s career, but that’s not saying much.

 

Muta is out first, and Hogan gets quite the pop. He’s got Jimmy Hart with him, and a title (looks like the WWF Title, but the quality isn’t good enough to tell.)

 

Hogan is eager to start, but Muta is holding back. Green mist, and throat cut, AND flipping off the crowd. Muta dances around Hogan, and taunts him with a kick (think Nathan Jones’ debut, but intentional)

 

Hogan with an armbar, but Muta gets the ropes, and goes outside for a rest on the ramp. Actually, the ramp comes right up to the height of the ring, which is cool. Muta flips in, but Hogan gets a legsweep and takes him down into a headlock. Muta pushes him back into the corner, and Hogan protests that the hold isn’t being broken.

 

Test of strength, and Hogan is first to cheat, taking Muta down into a crouching armbar. Muta’s up, but the hold remains. Again, Muta takes him into the corner, and shouldercharges him in the stomach a couple of times. Tie up, and Hogan’s doing the pushing into the corner. Some knees, and a whip to the other corner, followed by a clothesline. Second clothesline ducked, and two dropkicks put Hogan outside. Muta goes up, but is stopped by the referee.

 

Hogan takes his time coming back in, as Muta taunts the crowd. Another fucking staredown, into a tie up, but Muta cheapshots with an eyerake. Snapmare takes Hogan down, and the People’s Elbow gets one and a half. Hogan’s arm being twisted now, but it is countered into a takedown, into a hammerlock. STF by Hogan, and rolls Muta over, but he reaches the ropes before the pin can be counted.

 

Muta goes under the ring, and out comes Eric Angle. Nope, still Muta. Test of strength, and Muta cheats again with a kick, and elbows to the back of the head. A chop takes Hogan out, but he pulls Muta with him. They trade punches, and Hogan rakes the back (here’s the 5 move Hogan we all know come back!) Suplex on the outside, and Hogan breaks the 10 count. Muta is barely thrown over the barrier into the crowd, and Hogan follows. More punching, as we’re definitely into Hogan territory. Backdrop, and Hogan goes back in.

 

Muta is getting counted out, and Hogan shows off to the crowd. Muta gets back in on “uhgi”, which I guess means “nine”. He’s back out though, and Hogan follows. More punching to the head, and Muta reverses an Irish whip into the ringpost. Hogan is thrown into a second ringpost, but they both make it back in. Punches to Hogan’s head, and Muta hits him with something (it looks like a dagger, but obviously isn’t) and in a brilliant moment, he holds it in his mouth as the referee checks his body from behind.

 

Another shot to Hogan’s head with the object, but the referee takes it off him. Snapmare takes Hogan down, and here’s a sleeper. Hogan grabs the referee in an attempt to get out, but he’s not happy about that. He’s fading now (whatever that means) but Muta throws him out of the ring and suplexes him on the ramp. Muta runs down the length of the ramp, which is HUGE, and with the arena lights dimmed, and the spotlight on him, (looking impressive) he runs back in and clotheslines Hogan back into the ring.

 

They are both stuck with one arm in the “hangman” position, but both get free. Rake to Muta’s back, and more bloody punching. Hogan pulls the referee down, but he pushes Hogan back. Rake to Muta’s face, and an ENZIGURI gets two for Hogan. Punches put Muta back in the corner, but a whip is reversed. Handspring elbow puts Hogan down, and a backbreaker keeps him there. Moonsault gets two for Muta, and the crowd is SHOCKED. Dropkick takes Hogan out of the ring, as the cameramen get in the way.

 

Hogan is down, and Muta finds a convenient rope ladder that goes up to the lighting rig, and stops about four feet from the ground. Of course, he swings on it, and hurricanranas Hogan. Chairshot to Hogan’s back, and he rolls into the ring. As the referee and Muta fight over the chair, Hogan knocks Muta down with a clothesline, and pushes the ref over, to get the chair. Green mist to Hogan’s eyes though, followed by a Snapmare. Muta goes up, but misses a dropkick.

 

Legdrop for Hogan gets two, and the crowd are MONSTER SHOCKED. Big boot doesn’t put Muta down, but a clothesline does, and Hogan gets the pin in a little under 20 minutes.

 

Well, that was an odd match. A mixture of typical Japanese counter wrestling style, and Hogan’s “punch, back rake, face rake” style. This led to an awkward clash, but it was incredible to see Hogan doing all these moves that I don’t think he’s done before or since. Recommended match, but just to see Hogan.

 

WINNER: Hulk Hogan

 

Ultimo Dragon vs. The Great Sasuke

 

Circling to start, into a tie up. Sasuke is against the ropes, and the hold is broken. Armbar by Ultimo, countered, and two flips from Ultimo is enough to get an armdrag. Staredown, into a dragonscrew from Ultimo. Takedown by Sasuke, into a hammerlock, broken, but into a side headlock. Ultimo kicks the leg, but Sasuke comes back with a leg vice. Leg submission by Ultomo, and Sasuke goes for a single leg crab. Double leg lock by Ultimo, but Sasuke gets the ropes. Two spinning kicks from Ultimo puts Sasuke down. Irish whip countered by Sasuke, and throws Ultimo into the corner.

 

Ultimo, in one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in wrestling, balances on top of the turnbuckle, ON HIS HEAD, doing the splits. Kick to Sasuke on the way down. Sasuke misses a spinning heel kick, but Ultimo goes down. Headlock, which Ultimo rolls out of. Attempted leglock countered into an armbar, which is rolled into a legbar. Single leg crab by Ultimo, and he works it into an STF. Stamp to the back, bodyslam and elbow drop gets two.

 

Sasuke is back with a leg lock, which is countered into an armlock. Lots of grunting going on. Sasuke bails, as the crowd applauds. Ultimo does a taunt that resembles Chris Jericho’s “I’ve attempted the Lionsault, but realised they’ve moved, so I’ll land on my feet”, which is funky. Sasuke is off, though, going back down the ramp. He’s back again though, and dropkicks Ultimo’s knee. Single leg crab, and Ultimo is selling this really well. He rolls out of the move, but Sasuke goes back to work on the leg, before they reach the ropes.

 

Elbow puts Sasuke down, and a suplex gets two. Sasuke is not getting up, and the referee has to pull Dragon away. 10 count is initiated, but he’s up. DDT by Ultimo is sold like Rob Van Dam, but another suplex is countered into a nasty arm twist, which is rolled out of. Handspring elbow puts Sasuke out, followed by a 619 fake-out, and an excellent “skinning the cat”, which is used to avoid a punch, not just for a cheap pop.

 

Dropkick between the ropes knocks Sasuke back, and a top rope Plancha puts him down. Spinning backbreaker wears Ultimo out, and both men are getting counted out. Both up on 7, as a Piledriver attempt is countered into a backdrop. Ultimo is knocked into a cameraman, and Sasuke goes up, and hits a top rope Fameasser, to put both men back down.

 

Ultimo is counted to 14, but gets up. Lionsault variant catches Ultimo while standing, and gets a two count. Dragon’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana, but he holds on and Sasuke almost gets the three. Sasuke goes up, but is caught by a dropkick on the way down, but only for two. Backslide from Sasuke gets 2.9, and Ultimo is shocked.

 

Top rope hurricanrana, followed by a sitout powerbomb is enough to seal the match for Ultimo, who has WEIRD country music, before posing with about a hundred (well, 6) title belts.

 

Nice match, a lot of submission holds, that countered into one another. This did leave it a bit confusing at times as to who was doing what, and for all the attention that was paid to the legs, there didn’t seem to be much effect from it.

 

WINNER: Ultimo Dragon

 

Spanky vs. American Dragon

 

I don’t think this is from Ring of Honor – there’s no banners, commentators or anything. It’s all shot from one camera too, which makes it a little hard to tell what’s happening at times.

 

Circling to start, and Dragon goes straight for the leg takedown, which is rolled over by Spanky. Reverse waistlock also countered by Spanky. Armlock, again countered by Spanky, with a flip. Dragon does the same, although less athletically.

 

Kick to the stomach by Dragon, and they trade chops (complete with “WHOOOO”s) punches are also traded, and Spanky counters an armdrag by landing on his feet. Nice. Moonsault attempt off the second rope by Spanky, but he slips and falls. Dragon stamps him, and chops him into the corner. Spanky is thrown onto the apron in the corner, but gets a hurricanrana back in. Spinning heel kick gets two followed by a flipping kick into the corner.

 

Armbar and legsweep take Spanky down, as Dragon poses. Outside the ring, Spanky has one arm either side of the post, and is pulled shoulder first into it. Kick to the arm, and an armbar takedown. Spanky is really selling the arm.

 

Kick to the arm in the corner, and more chops. Really odd suplex, with Spanky getting a piggy-back, but on the front, and then thrown over Dragon’s head, getting a two count. Slightly contrived, but never mind. Spanky is whipped into the ropes, goes for a crossbody, but misses and lands in an armlock. Tries to roll out, and makes the ropes. Stamp on the arm, but Spanky’s up and chops are traded. Release German suplex from Spanky, and both men are down.

 

Back up on the 8 count, and Spanky ducks a clothesline and hits two dropkicks. Twisting crossbody off the second rope gets two, and his arm seems to have healed. Spinning heel kick from the top rope gets two, and the arm’s hurting again, but that’s the last time it does. Spanky goes up, but is crotched, and Dragon goes for a suplex, and is thrown off. Frog splash misses, and Spanky goes outside.

 

Moonsault from the top to the outside by American Dragon, which looks really impressive from the long camera angle. Back in, and a Dragon suplex gets two. Another chop, and Spanky rolls over Dragon from the top rope, and tries a roll-up, which is countered twice for two.

 

Hammerlock by American Dragon, countered into the Sliced Bread #2, but Spanky can’t get any height on it, and lands on his feet. German suplex puts Spanky down, and American Dragon slaps on a bridged submission hold that gets a huge reaction, but can’t really be seen, thanks to some awful camera work, and picks up the win in 9:25.

 

Not a bad match, by any means, but the WWE influence is pretty obvious, and I think they are trying to work a WWE match. Shame, because they are obviously very talented workers, even though working the arm led nowhere.

 

WINNER: American Dragon

 

Sabu vs. Terry Funk (Barbed wire rope match)

 

There’s no ropes, only barb wire.

 

Sabu starts with a dropkick to the knee of Terry Funk, who looks old by most people’s standards, but young by his own. Funk pulls the leg of Sabu, and pulls him up into some punches.

 

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Tie up, into reverse neckbreaker by Funk. He pulls Sabu up into a Piledriver.

 

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Hurricanrana by Sabu, for two. As Funk kicks out, he flings Sabu into the barb wire, in a spot that probably felt worse than it looked. Funk lifts him by the hair, but his clothes are slightly tangled in the wire

 

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Irish whip by Funk throws Sabu into the rope, and he sticks pretty badly to it. Nasty shit.

 

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Sabu is crotched on the barbs, and Funk has a real problem trying to get him off.

 

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Boxing punches by Funk, dropping Sabu pretty easily. This match is a mess. Chop knocks Sabu down, and Funk lifts him by the hair again. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, as Funk finally hits the barbs. Sabu ties Funk’s clothes to the wire, as Bill Alphonso throws him a chair. Funk is about to get free, but gets a chair to the back. And another.

 

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Sabu hits a crossbody off of a chair onto Funk, who is laying in the 619 position. This gets a two count. Sabu goes for another, but Funk moves, with his legs falling right onto the barbs. This is pretty sick stuff. Sabu sends Alphonso backstage, but we’re not told why. Sabu is cut to fuck.

 

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Sabu’s taping his wounds with athletic tape, but Funk doesn’t care, and hits a reverse neckbreaker onto a chair. Sabu is up, trying to punch and kick Funk, but he’s just too far gone, and one punch is enough to put him down.

 

[clip]

 

Jesus, Funk’s got some barb wire now, and he’s whipping Sabu with it. It’s sticking to Sabu’s fucking leg. This is pretty hard to watch, and Joey Styles agrees.

 

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Funk’s outside the ring, on a table. I’m glad they clipped whatever led to that, since it was probably really contrived. Sabu launches himself from the apron, and legdrops Funk through the table.

 

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Funk’s back inside, and wrapped in barbed wire. Sabu pins him for two, and he’s pulling Funk outside, and onto another table. All of the barbs have come off on the left hand side of the ring. Sabu pulls a section off for himself, and wraps it around his own fucking body, and hits another legdrop through the table. This is really horrible stuff. Both are caked in blood, and they are tied together with the barb wire. The officials have to pull them back inside, because they can’t manage it themselves. Jeez. They are pushing to get on top of one another, and Sabu manages it for two. Some rolling about now, as this is all they can manage, and Sabu gets the pin for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship, in 9:30 (clipped)

 

[clip]

 

The ring is full of officials now, cutting the barbed wire away from their bodies. This is fucking horrible.

 

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The barbs are really cutting into Sabu’s head, as he rolls out of the ring.

 

Right, that was pretty nasty stuff. Really hard to watch some of it. Not a typical wrestling match, but that’s not what was expected. Not my cup of tea, but should keep the hardcore violence goons happy.

 

WINNER: Sabu

 

Outro

 

Hopefully that didn’t suck too much, and I’ll be back with some thoughts on Bad Blood and some other bits and pieces in a “random thoughts” post later this week.

 

As a treat, here’s another caption contest:

 

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Oh, and I was asked to include this picture by a reader who will remain anonymous for now. I’m undecided as to whether it is tasteless or funny. Drop me a line and let me know...

 

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Nik

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