Not a Smarks News Update

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Ack! I think I might have posted a test article or something by accident while testing the posting system. Sorry, it’s my first day.

 

I guess writing about wrestling shares some similarities with pro wrestling itself. You have your top stars / writers, who can either put you over or not involve themselves with you at all. That’s not a shot at anyone in particular (although I don’t think Scott Keith ever once mentioned my name on TheSmarks, despite the fact before I was brought to the site there was a claim that ‘announcements would be forthcoming’), it’s just a segue into saying that people who write about wrestling can have phoney retirements too.

 

Before the Mania ran wild on 411 ten days ago, I had written my last piece of work for the site. I wasn’t really planning on writing again for a few months if that, but here I am, out of retirement and writing for TSM. This is where I intended to apply at when I felt like writing again (and I made sure to add some pluggage to my last 411 column to help seal a deal when the time came to write again), but I received the offer from Dames right away. Feeling alive with the farewells and best wishes my 411 readers gave me, I jumped at the opportunity to write again. And that, as they say, is that.

 

For Those of You Who Don’t Know Me...

 

My name is Stephen Gray, I live in Southern Ontario (that’s in Canada if you don’t know). I’ve been watching wrestling regularly since 1991, mostly WWF/E. The first angle I remember is Undertaker locking Ultimate Warrior in a casket. That got me to watch. Oddly enough, it was the Live Event News with Billy Red Lyons and wrestlers yelling with a graphic representing their character in the background that got me hooked. A year ago I was writing for a now deceased site called GWP Wrestling. By the way, in my last 411Smarks update, I made a cheap shot about that site, figuring that since a year has passed we could look back and laugh, but the people involved were not too thrilled, so I apologize to Pat and Mario for my uncalled for comments. Anyway, moving on...

 

Last fall I started submitting articles to www.wrestlingdb.com. I was going to review Scott Keith’s book on that site, and while I still might, I’ll do a review within a future commentary update on this site. For a few weeks, a popular thing on WDB were “MSPaint Raw Recaps” which were done by someone named Boco_T. He stopped doing them after a few weeks and I ended up doing one, and this was the result...

 

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A bit after that, Scott Keith announced he was looking for a few new Smarks News writers, and I was lucky enough to be chosen for the job. Towards the end I became very late in submitting things and Tim Livingston was chosen to move on to 411Mania due to his more frequent updates.

 

But I’m over here now.

 

For Those of You Who DO Know Me...

 

You don’t need any more info.

 

The Name Game

 

I had a problem coming up with a name on TheSmarks and I’m having a problem now, too. Over there, what I was doing was classified as a news update, so I just called it “Smarks News Update” (after trying out “Shades of Gray” with some negative response from Scotsman). Now I’m in the commentaries section... should I call it SmartMarks Commentaries Update? Not The Smarks News Update? SmartMarks News Update (ignoring the fact I’m not news)? Go back to Shades of Gray? Seriously, I badly need a name, so e-mail me your thoughts.

 

The Game Plan

 

When I was asked to write for TSM, I was told my style was fine the way it was and not to change it. Despite this, I’m changing the way I format my columns... but just slightly. It will still be the same rambling you people seem to love, but for the time being I’ll try to include a “Classic Quote” (or more than one) from the past and a review of a “Classic Match”. The match isn’t necessarily good or old enough to be a classic, I just happen to have it on my computer and can therefore type something as I watch it, as opposed to watching a tape or DVD away from my computer, taking notes, then transferring it to my computer (not a fan of that). The quote will usually be some terribly inaccurate news that was posted on Usenet 10 years ago, but I found something a bit different today.

 

Quote of the Day

 

“I DO NOT have any nude pic's, nor will I EVER pose nude.. so if that is what you are looking for, you won't get it here” - Torrie Wilson, from the “Ask Torrie” section of her old homepage.

 

When I first read about her in Playboy, I wondered how true it was. I remembered reading this quote on her website way back in 2000. Then a date was officially announced (and it’s getting closer! Woo-hoo!). Then they announced it on SmackDown!. Perhaps I imagined her saying that? Today, I tried going to her official site, but it is no longer up. I used the Wayback Machine to go to the site, but the Ask Torrie section was not in their archive. However, I managed to find that all important quote doing a Google search. Her site still came up in the results and the site summary showed the quote.

 

So, in summary, Torrie Wilson is a liar. A naked liar. Is it me, or is March 30th still too far away? Maybe pictures will leak out in advance like with Sable in 1999.

 

Classic Match Rev...

 

You know, I think I’ll just call it “Match of the Day” to go along with “Quote of the Day”

 

Match of the Day

 

Knowing me (if you do..), you’d think the first ‘Match of the Day’ would be a WWE one don’t you? Well, you’d be WRONG...

 

June 26, 2002 - NWA: TNA X-Title Match - Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles vs. Psicosis vs. Low Ki

 

This match is double elimination and I believe was the first X-Division match for TNA. I must say, even though I haven’t really seen any recent TNA, I have seen clips in commercials on the local cable channel here, and I prefer the old logo. Styles starts off with Psicosis and we get a Psicosis counter to that overly complex bulldog that CW’s like to do early in. Styles lands on his feet after a monkey flip and superkicks Psicosis for 2. Someone (Don West?) keeps yelling and bothering me. Psicosis does a top rope legdrop for 2. My computer is very slow, so the video slows to a crawl as I type, making the sound way out of synch and me miss some things. Psicosis goes for a rana but is caught in the Styles Clash for 3. Low Ki comes in kicks Styles. AJ ducks a ducks a clothesline and tries a German Suplex, but Low Ki turns around and does a leaping enziguri. Low Ki has AJ in the corner and goes for some sort of cartwheel spin kick, but get’s caught and put into a Styles Clash position for his trouble. He works out of it, kicks Styles, and tosses him into the metal post, which leads to AJ being crotched on the top turnbuckle. Low Ki locks on a great looking submission hold from this position, taking Styles from the tope rope down to the mat... I have no idea what to call it. Low Ki drapes AJ over the middle rope while on the apron and kicks him in the head. I’m going to assume Low Ki’s thing is that he kicks hard. Low Ki tries some flippity thing leg drop whatamanuver off the top, but misses and lands on his feet. Styles manages to German suplex him anyway, complete with a roll through, and does a move that WWF Attitude called a Reverse Powerbomb to pin Ki for the Three. Jerry Lynn takes advantage of the fact Styles has been in for this amount of time and immediately delivers the Cradle Piledriver for the pin. Psicosis comes in and hits Lynn with a missile drop kick. Psicosis picks Lynn up for a reverse suplex but Jerry counters with a snapmare. Psicosis manages to get Lynn in the corner and runs at him, but Lynn puts up his boot and hits a 2nd rope bulldog for 2. Psicosis goes for a rana, Lynn tries to counter with a powerbomb, but Psicosis gets the better of this exchange with a headscissors that sends Lynn to the outside. Psicosis follows up with a huge leap over the top rope. Psicosis hits a top rope leg lariat for two. Psi goes for some sort of slam, but Jerry counters with an inverted DDT for two. Irish whip, Lynn goes for a dropkick but Psi hangs on to the rope and head up top... he leaps with a move that has no intention of connecting so Lynn dropkicks him in mid-air and delivers the cradle piledriver (sold awesomely) for three. That’s it for Psicosis, Low Ki is in now. Guess what Low Ki does when he gets in? That’s right, he KICKS. For the record, that’s not mockery, I think the guy rules. Bodyslam on Lynn followed up by a Keiji Mutoh like elbow (according to SmackDown games, anyway, I actually don‘t know). That get’s two. Just like with Psicosis, Lynn gets Low Ki in a position to do a 2nd rope bulldog, but Low Ki does a flip kick to Lynn’s head. Hooray! Apparently if I write on notepad instead of works, the video slowdown doesn’t happen! Low Ki goes up for a top rope rana, but Lynn rolls through for the two. Ki retaliates with a lot of kicks until Lynn catches one and hits an enziguri. They exchange fists until Lynn does and Irish whip followed by a backdrop and a series of clotheslines. Jerry sets up for Cradle Piledriver but Ki does an awesome armbar counter... which Lynn counters just as awesomely with a powerbomb for 2. Crowd thought it was a 3 and let the ref know about it. Just so you guys know, this is the first match review I've ever done, so I'm having difficulty keeping up with the action (and it's a nifty excuse for the fact this might suck). Hopefully they'll get better. Lynn goes for a brainbuster but Low Ki counters it into what I BELIEVE is the Ki-Krusher 99 (Running Fisherman's Buster to the turnbuckles) but Lynn counters with a DDT, followed by the Cradle Piledriver for the three. Goodbye, Low Ki. It's down to AJ vs Lynn with Jerry up 1-0. Fast action! Too hard for me to call... so I won't. Just know that's it's good. Whoa! Styles hit a twisting splash from the ring apron over the top rope for two. AJ dropkicks Lynn in the corner and lands on his feet, then runs at Lynn but eats boot. Jerry runs at him and hits a tornado DDT. Lynn goes for some sort of suplex but Styles blocks with the leg and puts Lynn up, putting him back down with a neckbreaker. Whip to the corner with charge, Lynn catches Styles with a running powerbomb for 2. Cradle Piledriver is reversed into a back bodydrop followed by a Styles Clash for the three. It's all even at one elimination a piece, the next guy to get pin wins the X-Division title. And Ricky Steamboat is now the ref! Lynn does cradle that he and Booker T always do out of an Irish whip, but not very well. This leads to a long series of rolling near falls, ending in a double clothesline to put them both down. Both up, AJ hits Lynn with a drop kick that sends Jerry onto the apron. Styles makes a run a Lynn but Lynn hits him with a guillotine on the ropes. They fight outside for a bit, which leads AJ Styles to do a moonsault off the apron. but he's caught! But he counters being caught with an inverted DDT on the floor! AJ puts Lynn in for the pinfall, but he kicks out at 2. Whip, reversed, AJ does a 2nd rope moonsault, Lynn catches him drapes him on the top rope and drops AJ from the rope to the mat with a great DDT. Lynn puts AJ up for a Gory Special, AJ gets out and goes for a rana, Jerry catches him and flips him into a facebuster type move for two. Really good sequence. Powerbomb attempted on AJ, Styles lands on his feet and does that move that Kidman does now where you pick the guy up in a fireman's carry position and swing them onto your knee. AJ tries twice to suplex Lynn but Jerry ends up hitting a brainbuster for two as I have to hit pause to keep up with this incredible action. A sleeper by Lynn gives me some time to type. Jawbreaker breaks the sleeper. AJ up top, Lynn gets him with a punch (and two more for good measure). Superplex! Only two. The announcers go nuts about AJ's ability to survive this punishment and how people will remember this match along with other great NWA matches like Flair vs. Steamboat. Lynn puts Styles back on the top rope, something that can only result in disaster for Lynn so quickly after the Suplerplex.. and sure enough Styles pushes him off. Styles jumps off with some sort of TWISTY SPIN LEG DROP (I wish I knew the name, it looked really good) and that's good enough for the three. AJ Styles celebrates being the first X-Division champion while the pyro goes off.

 

Never doing a match review before, I'm somewhat unsure of how to grade this. If I did stars (which I don't), I 'd say this is ****+ easy. I'll go with the 10 point system and give it 9/10. It was a really good match and it's a shame that TNA has so much garbage with washed up wrestlers and Vince Russo segments. If TNA signs people to some real contracts and stops this "in one week, out the next" thing, drops the crap, and get's a TV deal, they could be a real competitor to WWE, and this is coming from a die hard WWE mark.

 

Next Match of the Day: Your choice!

 

1. NWA: TNA - Amazing Red vs. Low Ki

2. WCW - Brian Pillman vs Jushin Liger, SuperBrawl II

3. Japan - Hulk Hogan vs The Great Muta (1993)

4. WWF - Some Battle Royal from an old Saturday Night’s Main Event

 

News!

 

The biggest news of the day probably occurred on SmackDown!, but I really have no intention of reading the spoilers. Also, if you want real news, this ain’t the place to find it.

 

Ok, so when I watch Border City Wrestling (local fed) on the local cable station, they keep running promos for a XWF PPV. What the hell is this? Hogan, Lawler, and the deceased Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig are all there? I’m guessing this is something they taped way back in 2001.... reading a line up of the show on The Torch, I would probably pay the $10 just to see Hennig’s last PPV match (I’d think) and Marty Jannetty, but you need to be a digital cable subscriber to get PPV here and I’m just a plain old regular cable guy.

 

Some of you might recall that before No Way Out, another website (4w-wrestling, I think) had a transcript of an interview with Trish Stratus from a French TV station. According to the piece of news, she said she was engaged to an entertainment reporter from Toronto’s CityTV named Alex Pierson. But hold the phone... Alex Pierson is a woman! Was Trish planning on having a lesbian marriage? Being the journalist I am, I went straight to the source and received this response:

 

hi Steve, thanks for passing along your note and info... Just to clarify...While I'm sure Trish Stratus is a lovely woman and I admire her success... In no way is she my type or going to be my bride...Something must have gotten confused in the translation...it happens.. thanks for the heads up... alex pierson

 

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I hope that puts that 2 1/2 week old controversy everyone assumed was false anyway to rest!

 

Lastly, do you guys remember Scott Batura? Well, apparently he doesn’t, as he only recently found out about the frustration he caused Chris Jericho when he did a Google search of his name. The search also resulted in him finding an article where I mentioned him causing him to e-mail me to ask what I meant by his “legendary status”. I explained that his poor review of his match with RVD at King of the Ring resulted in Jericho cutting off ties with the net. His reply... and this is BREAKING news people... Chris Jericho is actually one of his favourite wrestlers! Ah, the craziness of the internet.

 

That’s it for now, send your comments, name suggestion, match review votes, or whatever to [email protected] or message SmartMarkSteve on AIM