Fmw king of the death match

[Guest bob_barron]

FMW King of the Death Match

 

Eric Geller and John Watanabe introduce us to the tape and preview the next match.

 

Nayato and Jason cut promos.

 

Nayato v. Jason

 

Nayato uses his speed to take control and kicks Jason out of the ring. Plancha by Nayato and he hits a springboard moonsault. Jason hits him with a spinkick and a powerslam-2. Vicious powerbomb by Jason-2. Small package by Nayato-2. Jason hits a spinkick and a stiff clothesline. Brainbuster wins it. Basically a squash. ¾*  

 

Eric and John talk some more. The ladies cut promos. Cowboy hat lady threatens to kill her.

 

Shark v. Mad Dog

 

Shark beats her with a flaming board. She chokes Madog out out and brands her. Shark tries to douse her in flames but Maddog stops it. They brawl on the outside. Shark gets piledriven through a table. Shark uses a sickle. Mad Dog gets a spinkick and has a bloody back. Mad Dog uses a bullrope. Sickle meets bullrope. Some lady runs in and stops Shark from using the sickle. Shark works the back with a sickle. The commentators suck ass. Crusher interferes and bites Mad Dog’s arm. Match is clipped to Mad Dog in control with a chinlock. SHE’S HARDCORE! Armbar by Dog wins it. Really boring match. ¼* (Six minutes shown) Mad Dog has Lex Luger’s music.

 

Back to Dumb and Dumber. The Asian commentator does a Hulk Hogan impression since CPA is Horace Boulder.

 

John Watanbi shows us how to do an armbar with some skinny Asian girl whose in her bra-n-panties. He even shows us setup moves while beating on the poor girl. Jeez guys- get us a hot chick.

 

Headhunters manager cuts a promo and says F-M-fucking-W. Faces respond

 

CPA, Mike Awesome and Oya v.  Super Leather and the Headhunters

 

Awesome and Leathere climb up a scadffold and brawl. Leather climbs down. Pussy. CPA clotheslines one of the Headhnters. Awesome planchas one of the Headhunters.  There’s a lot of clipping in this match. Oya gets an armbar but Leatherface breaks and tags one of the Headhunters. Top-rope elbow-2. Oya blades. These HH have boobs bigger than Trish. Oya tags CPA. CPA knicks the Headhunter down for two. DDT, legdrop-2. Tag Awesome and him and Super Leather go at it. Leather kicks his ass. Apparentely Awesome lifted up a two ton truck to try to save a twelve year old boy. Running powerbomb to Leather-2. Frog splash by Awesome-2. Awesome ballshots Leather and goes for something on the top but Headhunter whacks him with a chair. CPA blades. Pier-6 brawl erupts. Top-rope tiger driver. CPA gets put on a table but Headhunter misses a moonsault. Leather splashes him through the table. Powerbomb by Leather-2. Brainbuster wins it for the Puerto Ricans. Didn’t suck that much. ** (nine minutes)

 

Dumb and Dumber hype next match. Cactus cuts an awesome promo.

 

Kanemura v. Cactus Jack in a Death Match

 

Lockup- Cactus gets pushed into barb wire. Lockup- Cactus kicks his ass. Cactus jams his head into the barbwire but gets ballshotted. Cactus goes into the barbwire and Kanemura beats his eye. Both guys dangle near this bed of pain thingy and they brawl on the outside. Cactus gets a table thrown at him. Cactus gets slammed on a table and Hito runs interference and holds Cactus down so Kanemura splashes him. The commentators mock WWF. Cactus gets thrown into a table. Cactus suplexes him through the bed of barb wire. Cactus drops a chair on his face and chairs him. Kanemura blades and goes into the barb wire more. Cactus rakes his face in the barbwire and kicks his ass. Cactus boots him and he falls into the barbwire. Kanemura gets hung in the Tree if Woe and Cactus continues to lay in the punishment. Cactus finally covers and it only gets two. Piledriver-2. Van Daminator by Kanemura with a board and he whacks him with a board. Cactus blades. Flying lariat-2. Cactus backdrops him over the top and they brawl on the apron. Cactus goes to slam him but Kanemura gouges him. Kanemura clotheslines him and Cactus falls into the bed of barb wire and broken glass. Ouch. Cactus falls into the bed of barb wire again. Cactus gets whipped into the crowd. Plancha by Kanemura. Kaney goes up top but gets slammed into broken glass. Second-rope elbow by Cactus gets two. Cactus hammers away but gets dropped into some broken glass. Commentators diss WCW. Kanemura gets him from top rope. Rollup by Cactus-2. Small package by Kanemura-2. Stungun by Cactus on the barb wire and DDT on the glass gets two. Cactus throws shards of glass into the ring. Kanemura hits him with a board and 2x4. Cactus gets double arm ddt on the board. ¾*- Match was way too long and the dramatic kickouts after holy shit moves meant nothing since Cactus got the ending out of nowhere and it was sixteen minutes long!! (16)

 

More with Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber are with some girls. D-n-D demonstrate the airplane spin. Hilarity ensues.

 

Toyoda v. Kudo  

 

Lockup- Kudo works on the arm and kicks away. Dumb and Dumber keep talking about the importance of the match but besides it being Toyoda’s last match we don’t know why. Kudo almost goes into barb wire. Slugfest- Toyoda gets taken down. Some other boring stuff happens and Toyoda almost goes into the barb wire. Toyoda gets a powerslam for two. Headbutts abount and Kudo goes flying into the electrocuted barb wire. Kudo blades as Toyoda gets a two count off a slam. Spinning backbreaker by Toyoda-2. Surfboard. Kudo gets an armdrag. Toyoda goes into the electrocuted barb wire which I admit was pretty cool. Sleeper by Kudo. Enziguri by Kudo and she gets a dragon sleeper. Kick to the back of the head by Kudo. Toyoda blocks butterfly suplex and sends Kudo into the barb wire. Swank German suplex by Toyda gets two. Kudo blocks powerbomb with DDT-2. Perfectplex-2. Backdrop suplex-2.  Sitdown powerbomb-2. Powerbomb-2. Another powerbomb-2. Kudo blocks powerbomb with sunset flip-2. Toyoda backsuplexes Kudo right into the electric barb wire. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! Toyoda gets electrocuted too. That was bitchin’ cool. Powerbomb by Kuto-2. Kuto does a powerbomb dropping her right on her head for two. Some move where she drops her on her head and neck wins it for Kudo. Match started out insanely boring but really picked up. **1/2 (22 minutes)

 

Backstage we see some guy making sure Toyoda gets medical help. Both girls are pretty banged up. Dumb-n-Dumber hype the next match.

 

Terry Funk and Mr. Pogo v. Tanaka and Hayabusa

 

Commentators mention Funk came to Japan cause champions were ducking him. Like Ric Flair. Guys- know your facts. Pier-4 brawl. Funk-Hatyabusa and Tanaka and Pogo go. Funk headbutss Hayabusa. The match is basically to tease the fans that one of these guys could go into the barb wire. Hayabusa busts out the funky punches and one of the commentators does a Dusty impression. Hayabusa does a 180 jump onFunk for two. More barb wire tease spots. Tanaka does a jumpimg DDT to Funk-2. Poho gets an armringer on Hayabusa. Tanaka goes into the electrocuted barb wire. Funk beats on Hayabusa with a chair. Pogo blades. Hayabusa blocks figure four and Tanaka gets beaten with a sickle. Commentators diss WWF and WCW and say: This is where the big boys play. Pogo kicks the shit out of Tanaka with a sickle and drives it into him. Hayabusa and Tanak hit stereo DDTs and drop Funk right on the electrocuted barb wire. Lionsault by Hayabusa onto Pogo-2. Funk saves Pogo from going into the bed of barb wire. Some siren keeps going off which is annoying. Hayabusa saves Pogo from being lit on fire and him and Pogo go rolling into the bed of barb wire which is also electrocuted. Hayabusa with a brainbuster to Pogo- Funk saves with a chairshot. Jumping tornado DDT-2. Funk has tapped an artery and is bleeding all over. Small package by Tanak-2. Funk throws Tanaka into the bed of electrocuted barb wire, Hayabusa goes into the electrocuted barb wire and there’s a huge-ass explosion. Everyone is dead. Funk piledrives Hayabusa for two. Piledriver on a chair-2. Pogo has a flaming chair and they bulldog Hayabusa into it- completely missing the chair. It gets two. They both spit fire out of their mouth at Hayabuda. Double powerbomb wins it. Match was meaningless filler except for the crazy spots meaning most of the time it was pretty boring. They go to cut Hayabusa’s mask off *1/4 (Nineteen minutes) Some guy saves and the heels cut a promo.

 

Backstage an unmasked Hayabusa cuts a promo where he cries and curses.  Dumb-n-Dumber wrap it up.

 

The Bottom Line- A pretty bleh tape. Some of the spots are pretty cool but its not like a TLC spotfest its basically just a tease, tease, huge spot and then more teasing which gets old. The matches are also way too long and its kind of dumb to have the loser kick out of crazy-ass moves and then have the finisher be anticlimatic. The commentators suck ass too. Rent ECW or something- its in all English.

 

Recommendation to Avoid

[Guest RetroRob215]

I like the tape for the last 2 matches.  I remember one guy who gave the main event *****, I doubt he still posts here.

[Guest Mark4steamboat]

Not bad, i personally disagree on some match ratings but i wont get into that. The brainbuster referred to in the Nayato/Jason match is really a fisherman's buster. Just thought i'd share the knowledge.