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The Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 39

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Guest TSMAdmin

The Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 39



The description for my Archives in The Smart Mark Forums read as follows:

"Dames, owner of TSM, continues his love/hate relationship with his cable company in an attempt to bring the reader his Diatribes on the weekly NWA:TNA and monthly WWE PPV's. "


For the most part, my love/hate relationship with Cablevision had come to an end in recent weeks. They picked up TNA in October, allowing me to recap the shows each and every week finally after not being available for the first 14 weeks. That's why the TNA Diatribe's were so sporadic. I would have to travel to a friends house every week and sometimes, he just wasn't available, so I was thankful that Cablevision picked it up. Then came the whole Yankees/YES Network situation. As a diehard Yankee fan, I was quite upset that I wasn't able to see the Yankees at all last year, despite living in the Bronx. Naturally...I blamed Cablevision. The YES network finally came on last week just in time for Opening Day and all was forgiven.


Or so I thought.


You see, tonight is a very special TNA recap. One that I hope I won't have to do again. For when I turned to the PPV channel tonight and put on NWA:TNA to record and review....I noticed that there was no sound. There wasn't any audio coming through the speakers at all. I checked the other TV's in the house, checked the other channels...it was JUST TNA.


"How can I possibly do a review on TNA when I can't understand what's going on!?"


Well...I'll do my best. Interviews and backstage segments are going to be a bitch.


Before I begin though, I'd like to give a shout to Bryan "bps21" Staebell, RedJed, Galactic Gigalo and the other members of TheSmartMarks Forums who helped me piece together what in the hell was going on tonight.


Let's go right to the PPV shall we.


The show starts with a video package of last weeks events and apparently Jeff Jarrett's heelish actions as of late. Any cool voiceovers or effects were lost on me because I COULDN'T HEAR ANYTHING! The announcers also say something...but you know the deal already.


Sandman & New Jack vs. The Disciples of the New Church vs. The Harris Brothers in an Armed Asylum Match.


Match Background: Two weeks ago, The Sandman, Perry Saturn & The Disciples of The New Church took on the Harris Brothers and Triple X in a Sadistic Madness match, which they were victorious in. Last week, Sandman and Saturn were scheduled to take on the Harris' & Chris Daniels and needed a 3rd partner. Father James Mitchell offered up one of his Disciples, but Sandman and Saturn already picked their partner, New Jack, a comrade from their ECW days. This angered Mitchell and during the 6 man match, Brian Lee & Slash interfered and attacked both teams, leading to tonight's match. This match is an Armed Asylum match, meaning that there will be tables and weapons scattered around the arena.


The Match: I'm assuming this a triple threat match because it was originally penned as a match between Sandman & New Jack vs. The Harris'. Sandman takes forever for his entrance and I'm pleased because it gives me a chance to fast forward. The match starts with New Jack against both Disciples in the ring while Sandman battles it out with the Harris' on the outside. Not even 30 seconds into the match and New Jack pulls out the old cheese grater on Slash's forehead, cutting him open. Judging from the crowd's non-reactions, they're probably just as loud as are now, even with no damn audio. The Harris' toss Sandman through a table propped up and ringside and he goes through with a THUNDEROUS SILENCE! In the mean time, New Jack provides me with mimed entertainment as he dives off of the apron with an open chair...and hits nothing but the guard rail, looking like he just blew a big spot in a bad, bad way. Slash and Ron Harris battle their way towards the SEX locker room where there are a few tables propped up, while Don Harris back body drops Sandman onto a table on the top of the ramp....but it doesn't break. Slash tosses Ron into a propped up table and that one doesn't break either. Oh, this is going to be a long night.


Some more uninspired brawling takes place as they all use trashcans and lids to get the advantage, leading to Slash placing Ron Harris on a table....and the table collapses. He puts him on another table and hits a senton off of the balcony for what appears to be a pop, but then again...I'm deaf tonight. Brian Lee sets two tables next to each other by the other balcony and brawls with New Jack over who gets to place who there. They go up the stairs and New Jack back body drops Slash over the balcony....but in what looks to be a really bad break for Brian Lee, he goes over in a very awkward position and crashes into the tables on his feet, sideways, catching him rough on the ribs and not even breaking said tables. He's down and out as Mitchell pulls him out of the action and tries to talk to him. Meanwhile...everyone else is bleeding and the Harri's take turns beating on Sandman....who's got some great facial expressions when he's hurt. New Jack sets Slash up on the table where Lee met his unfortunate fate and comes off of the balcony with an elbow that just LOOKS like it hurt both men. New Jack grimaces in pain and I'd assume that Slash isn't feeling too chipper either. Sandman tries to fight off both Harris' in the ring, but eventually succumbs to the awesome power and strength of the H-Bomb. Yeah.


Winners: The Harris Bros.


According to the guys on the board, the announcers played up the fact that Sandman was left alone because of New Jack's actions. Hey, Sandman did it to Corino against the Harris' a few weeks ago, so now he knows how it feels.


My Opinion: This wasn't much but uninspired brawling and bad spots from bad workers. It looks as if some guys were hurt and it's a shame that they did it providing such a bad match here tonight. Some of the table spots were just embarrassing to watch as the tables used their creative control clauses and refused to job tonight. If what the guys said is true and Sandman and New Jack have problems, those matches are going to seriously, seriously suck. DUD.


Backstage, Goldylocks is with Mike Barton and he says "......"


Well, he apparently talks about the WWF Brawl For All he won back in '99 and how he went to Japan and became a big star. I have no clue if he explained why he attacked Saturn last week. If anyone HEARD IT and knows, email me at [email protected]


In mid promo, D'Lo Brown interrupts and starts yelling. It sounds like "....." D'Lo demands a match with Mike Sanders tonight from Glen Gilberti and leaves. Gilberti then turns around and Chris Harris of Americas Most Wanted in sitting in the S.E.X. locker room, wearing a TNA shirt. He tells him to go get Sanders and deliver the message.


We now go to Don West, who's sitting alone at the broadcast position and is staring into the camera. He says "......!!!!!!!" and we head over to Mike Tenay at the top of the ramp. He has THE STICK~! and says ".......zzzzzzz". He introduces two NASCAR drivers, Hermie Sadler and some other guy and talks to them for a bit. The only reason why I know Hermie Sadler is because he's been in TNA before. I was told this isn't important, so let's move on.


After this SCINTILLATING interview is over, we head to a shot of the back entrance as Raven arrives with Alexis Laree in tow and....Julio Dinero! He looks like Matt Hardy, back when he was in the Brood with the dark mesh shirts and has his hair done in a similar style to Raven's. They walk into the S.E.X. locker room.


We got RIGHT to an ass shot of the TNA girls and there is NO NEED FOR SOUND.


Next is an "Interrogation" segment with Dusty Rhodes. Even if I had the sound on, I wouldn't have understood it. This show goes so much quicker when you don't have to stop and listen. The only thing notable about it is that Dusty was wearing glasses (which I've never seen him wear) and I could have sworn that he said the word "Super Powers", so expect Nikita Koloff to come back tonight and resume his "feud" with Dusty.


Dusty Rhodes vs. Brian Lawler in a Ladder Match


Match Background: After the "Next Generation" of Brian Lawler, David Flair and Eric Watts came to TNA, they angered Dusty Rhodes with their lack of respect for Tradition. Dusty teamed up with Jeff Jarrett and D'Lo Brown to take them on in a 6 man a few weeks ago and were victorious, but was beaten up by them after the match. David Flair finally unveiled what was in his Bag O' Tricks that he kept hitting people with and it turned out to be a replica of his fathers NWA Title. Dusty has since been on a mission to take it back and bring it to "tradition" so to speak, but each time he's gotten his hands on it, Brian Lawler has come from behind and stolen it back. Last week, after a confrontation with Dusty, Lawler issued a challenge. He would put the title up for grabs in a ladder match against Dusty, where Lawler would unquestionably have the advantage. Dusty accepted and here we are tonight.


The Match: The replica NWA Title is hanging above the ring, like always as the match begins. Aww....no sound means I don't get to hear Dusty's bootleg music I enjoy so much. Lawler tries to attack Dusty at the onset of the match, but Rhodes fights back and they head to the outside. Lawler gets the ladder from ringside and rams it into the side of Dusty's head. Lawler nails Dusty a few more times...and Dusty goes to blade. Instead of gigging right then and there, in full view of the camera, Dusty falls to the ground and covers his head to get the job done discreetly. Lawler sets the ladder up in the ring and takes his time to taunt Dusty instead of climbing the damn thing. He dropkicks Dusty through the ropes and then takes his SWEET time to climb up there until Dusty can come back in and knock him over. It could have been a bad fall as the ladder fell under Lawler first, but he seems ok. Dusty's Bionic Elbow puts Lawler down and then Dusty heads under the ring...and gets a two rung step ladder. Lawler is in the ring setting up the real ladder and Dusty hits him with the small one. Dusty then climbs it and hits an elbow off of it, popping the crowd (from what I can see) and goes for the real ladder. The ladder looks like it can't hold Dusty's weight....but not to worry as Lawler gives him a low blow with Dusty one rung up. Lawler comes off the top with a guillotine legdrop, but Dusty moves out of the way. David Flair attacks Dusty from behind as he tries to climb it again and Flair goes up for it himself. All of a sudden, Nikita Koloff comes into the ring and knocks Flair down. He goes up the ladder and retrieves the title belt himself (after MUCH trouble), beats up Lawler and Flair and hands it to Dusty for the win. They hug to a pop and hold up the title belt for all to see, but Eric Watts comes from behind and steals it to bring it all back to square one.


Winner: Dusty Rhodes


My Opinion: I've got to know whose idea it was to put Dusty Rhodes in a ladder match. Having someone else climb the ladder or pole is always a bad finish to a match, but it worked better here because of the Koloff storyline. I'm glad that TNA finally cleared up that plot hole. I don't think Nikita comes back after this. Watts getting the title back means that we just wasted about 10 minutes on a bad match for nothing. It's a silly angle to begin with and I hope they just let this one die. 1/2* and that's for Brian Lawler.


Outside, Goldylocks tries to interview Chris Harris. She wants to know what he was doing in the SEX locker room. Harris runs into his tag partner, James Storm, who looks mighty pissed and deservedly so. They exchange heated words and Storm walks away. Harris then approaches MIKE SANDERS~! in the parking lot and talks to him. It doesn't matter what Sanders said, I know it was probably great, even though I can't hear it. Once again, the guys on the board helped me out with this one. Harris told Storm that he was only in there lobbying for a tag title shot, but Storm doesn't believe him. Harris then told Sanders that while he's on the outs with SEX, he can't go to the NWA because they won't accept him. He tells Sanders to go back to Gilberti and SEX and Sanders agrees to meet with Glen.


AJ Styles vs. Glen Gilberti


Match Background: Three weeks ago, AJ Styles waged war with Raven in a ladder match for a shot at the NWA World Title and came very close to winning until Glen Gilberti ran in and powerbombed AJ off the ladder through a table at ringside, costing him the match. Styles confronted Gilberti the following week and challenged him to a match, but Gilberti deferred the challenge to Mike Sanders, who lost despite of Gilberti's interference. Last week, Gilberti and AJ got into a brawl at the beginning of the show and the match was made for tonight, one on one.


The Match: The two men lock up in the center of the ring and Gilberti fires off some right hands, but Styles comes back with a dropkick and a rana. Gilberti goes for a tilt a while but Styles lands on his feet and gets a German suplex for two. Styles drops Gilberti over the top rope, throat first and springboards back into the ring with a crossbody, only to get dropkicked in the midsection. Styles rolls to the outside and Gilberti meets him there....and gives him the BEST DROP TOE HOLD EVER. Styles actually slid on the protective matting from it and went right into the steel steps head first! Gilberti throws him back into the ring and gets a back suplex into a front slam and delivers a dropkick to the back for two. Styles gets up and there's a slugfest in the ring, but Gilberti wins that with a clothesline that turns Styles inside out. Gilberti hasn't done any stupid dances or anything AT ALL in this match so far and has had plenty of time to do so. He gets a SUPER Atomic Drop and side Russian leg sweep, followed by an elbow drop for two. Gilberti goes to work on Styles in the corner goes for a neckbreaker, but Styles avoids it and hits him with a senton. Styles with the advantage now wails on him for a bit before attempting his quebrada into reverse DDT move, which Gilberti avoids. He gets his neckbreaker, but misses an elbow drop off the 2nd rope, leading Styles to hit a NICE pumphandle into a stomachbuster for two. Gilberti charges at Styles in the corner and EATS BOOT, allowing Styles to finally get his quebrada into reverse DDT combo for two. They get up and battle over a backslide, but Gilberti wins it and gets a DDT for two. Styles gets up and stuns him with a roundhouse and heads to the apron. Styles comes in with a SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH but misses! Gilberti tries to roll him up, putting his feet on the ropes, but the ref sees him and doesn't count the pin. Styles gets up, hits the STYLES CLASH~! and pins Gilberti for the win with HIS feet on the ropes, even though it wasn't needed.


Winner: AJ Styles


After the match, Gilberti gets up and argues with the referee about the miscall. As the ref walks up the ramp, Gilberti attacks him. He send him over the rail and just waffles on him with a chair a few times before he walks off.


My Opinion: Glen Gilberti hasn't had a one on one match this good since his match with Dean Malenko at Bash at the Beach '96. He showed focus and a good in-ring presence for the first time in a long time and did so by playing a serious character. Styles was his usual self, but I'm very impressed with what Gilberti has to offer in the ring and I'm very surprised that he never showed any of this before. He has made a complete turnaround from his Disco Inferno character in WCW in recent weeks, also improving his mic work tenfold. This one could have been better if they had given it a little more time and time to build instead of just having to hit the major spots. **3/4


We go back to Tenay and West and I'm told that at this point, Tenay started lobbying hard to get a commissioner or authority figure in TNA. What ever happened to JJ Dillon?


Goldylocks is in the back with Gilberti, who looks very upset....but I have no clue what he just said. Before he starts, SANDERS~! comes into the locker room and asks Glen why he wanted to see him. Gilberti tells him that he was hand picked to be in SEX and he's still a part of it, so he should go and take care of D'Lo Brown tonight.


David Young & Athena vs. Desire & Sonny Siaki


Match Background: Three weeks ago, Sonny Siaki gave Athena the Siakalypse NOW when she refused to bare her breasts for the crowd. This brought out David Young to defend her and the following week, Young faced Siaki. After hitting a few moves on Siaki, it appeared that the former X-Division Champion was ready to be pinned, so Young asked Athena to come in and get a measure of revenge. Desire returned to TNA after a short absence and went after Athena and she and Sonny handcuffed Young to the rope and forced him to watch as Siaki hit her with the Siakalypse. Last week, they met again in a good match and after Young got the pin, Young handcuffed Siaki and gave a spinebuster to Desire with Athena looking on. The natural progression of this feud is a mixed tag team match and here we are for tonight.


The Match: Some kid who won an auction to be a manager for the night accompanies Desire and Sonny Siaki to the ring and sits at ringside. I'd tell you the poor saps name, but I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING! When Young and Athena hit the ring, Siaki takes THE STICK~! and addresses Young. He tells him that the beef isn't between he and David....it's between Athena and Desire, so let's just let them fight it out. Young agrees after Athena pleads with him and it's just become a ladies singles match. The crowd seems very supportive of Athena, like always and the men leave the ring.


The two girls circle each other and right before they lock up, David Young comes into the ring and SNAP SPINEBUSTERS~! Athena! Desire immediately gets the win and Siaki gives him the S.E.X. shirt right off his back as David Young is the newest member of Sports Entertainment Extreme!


Winner: Desire


My Opinion: I definitely didn't see that one coming. David Young gave a spinebuster to Desire last week. I don't see the motivation between Young going to S.E.X. except for maybe claiming that TNA didn't use him very well, which they haven't. The match itself was a DUD, but it was just an excuse to turn Young, so I don't mind.


In the back, Goldylocks is with Perry Saturn and says.....something, I guess. Jeff Jarrett interrupts (which Saturn doesn't appreciate) and says that he'll be in the ring later on tonight for an interview. I can read lips well, dammit. At this point, Mike Barton attacks Saturn from behind and we're on!


Perry Saturn vs. Mike Barton


Match Background: After the aforementioned 6 man tag match that Saturn was involved with last week, Mike Barton (formerly known as Bart Gunn in the WWF) came in and attacked him for some reason. This obviously leads to a match and here it is tonight. People have been saying that Barton's in ring work has improved dramatically since going to Japan, so I'm looking forward to this match tonight.


The Match: They begin brawling from the back towards the ring. Barton's left hand has a black glove on it and he busts Saturn open hardway above the eye before they even get into the ring. Barton is wearing TAKA like blue tights with the Japanese flag on them. He jumps onto Saturn with a cross body off the top and follows it up with a pumphandle attempt, but Saturn floats over and hits a release German suplex. He goes for a second, but Barton blocks it, so Saturn wails on his back til he can get a second. He hits a third and Barton sells each and every one of them. Saturn comes off the 2nd rope with a springboard dropkick for two and puts on a cross armbreaker. Barton puts over the submission hold, trying to block it and gets to the ropes. That cut above the eye of Saturn is just NASTY. Barton once again nails him in the head with the left hand and Saturn is REALLY selling it. A few more shots and Saturn falls to the mat. TNA makes a HUGE production error as they do a close up on Saturn and show him blading and putting the gig back into his glove. Barton stands Saturn up, who is just a bloody mess, and nails him with some chops. Saturn fights back in the corner and gets a T-Bone suplex out of it only to get nailed in the face again with the dreaded left. The announcers play up a point that Barton wants to knock Saturn out, not cover him for the pin (or so I'm told) and after every punch, the ref has been checking on Saturn. Barton picks Saturn up for a suplex....and just HOLDS him up there, like Davey Boy Smith, as the bloods drips onto Barton's chest. Barton drops him with a GORGEOUS BRAINBUSTER and Saturn is just BLEEDING like a PIG. Barton with more lefts in the corner and the ref orders a separation. Saturn gets up and is DEMANDING more shots from Barton. Barton delivers them, sending Saturn staggering. Saturn falls down again but comes up with a fury. Saturn get a few rights and a superkick for two and follows it up with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two as well. Barton picks Saturn up for a DVD, but Saturn floats over and hits one of his own! ONE...TWO...NO! Barton gets up and WAFFLES Saturn with another left and the effects of all of the punches have affected Barton's hand. He tries to shake off the hand, but Saturn sees this and hits a judo throw! He transitions it into a painful looking wristlock submission for the tap out victory!


Winner: Perry Saturn


My Opinion: WOW! I haven't seen Saturn deliver the goods in a LONG time and Mike Barton really has improved a hell of a lot since leaving the WWF. This match had a mixed martial arts feel to it and the psychology of it was absolutely fantastic. Barton opened up Saturn's left eye early, legit, and continues to go after it, building towards a knock out finish. That's the way he gained his fame in the U.S. and Japan, by knocking out Dr. Death Steve Williams and it's become his game plan. Barton did the little things that really sell everything, like shaking his head after a German suplex to try and "shake the cobwebs" and shaking his left hand after every punch. The finish factored directly into the build up of the match and the psychology of it and I loved every minute of it. Saturn more than held his own in this match and showed some of his judo moves that he learned many years ago as a Army Ranger. I hope these two get a rematch with a lot of time to build up a proper match. Although there was a MAJOR production error, it isn't the fault of the wrestlers and so the match shouldn't be penalized for it. ***


In the back, Goldylocks is with New Jack, but Sandman gets in his face and they get into an argument, presumably about the tag match earlier on and Jack leaving Sandman alone in the ring. All of a sudden, a fireball lands in Sandmans face and the Disciples of the New Church beat up on New Jack. Looks like "Evil" is back to their heelish ways....and I like it.


D'Lo Brown vs. Mike Sanders


Match Background: D'Lo Brown faced Jeff Jarrett last week for the NWA Title and ended up losing when S.E.X. stable member Mike Sanders gave him a superkick accidentally. D'Lo went up to Glen Gilberti earlier in the show and demanded the match with him...and Gilberti convinced Sanders (who he wasn't getting along with) to go out and face D'Lo and to do it for Sports Entertainment Extreme.


The Match: D'Lo gets a good reaction from the crowd and I'm happy that they've kept him a face in TNA as they are in dire need of a true babyface to rally behind. D'Lo takes the early advantage over Sanders with elbows and rights and stomps a mudhole into SANDERS~! in the corner. D'Lo charges at Sanders and goes up and over onto the apron, where Sanders dropkicks him down. Sanders gets on the apron...and hits a MOONSAULT OFF THE APRON~! on D'Lo! I never knew he could do that! He didn't even use the ropes! He throws D'Lo into the railing and gets a "HEY~" from the Heel Section before suplexing him on the outside. Back in the ring, Sanders goes for the cover twice and only gets two each time. D'Lo comes back with rights, but Sanders slides under and hits a pumphandle back suplex for two! Sanders charges at D'Lo in the corner, but is greeted with an elbow to the face. He back body drops Brown and hits him with a running kick to the chest. Sanders comes off the ropes...and hilariously mocks D'Lo's shaky shaky legdrop before hitting a knee drop to the chest. Sanders puts on a cobra clutch on the mat as they take a rest hold, but quickly after get back to their feet. D'Lo gets up and fires back with clotheslines and a spinebuster and hits the Shaky Shaky Legdrop for two. D'Lo gets his calf kick and covers for two as well. Sanders recovers and hits the DOUBLE SHOT (thanks, Rick) and sets D'Lo up for a superkick. D'Lo blocks it and goes for the Sudden Impact (Catatonic), but Sanders is able to block the first attempt. D'Lo gets the second and puts him down in position for the Lo Down. D'Lo gets on top, but Sonny Siaki runs in and crotches D'Lo while Desire distracts the ref. Sanders superplexes Brown and gets a two. Come on...did you really think a superplex would finish the job? Sanders and Brown go through a quick series of reversals then, leading to Brown hitting the Sky High for the clean pin.


Winner: D'Lo Brown


After the match, Siaki and Gilberti come into the ring and beat down on D'Lo. They tell Sanders to get up and he does so hesitantly. They set D'Lo up for Mike and he drills him in the chest with a superkick.


My Opinion: Solid outing from these two and Mike Sanders once again showed that he is improving in the ring. I think he needs to work on his timing and his cardio (he takes too many breaks for rest holds), but his arsenal is expanding nicely and he's getting back to a good pace in the ring. He needs better looking tight though...and needs to hit the gym. D'Lo was his usual self of course. I like the D'Lo vs. S.E.X. angle better than SEX vs. Jarrett because with D'Lo not wearing a title, the feud can be more well rounded and played in the ring with both sides splitting wins and putting others over. Jarrett didn't have the luxury of being able to drop a singles match due to interference and the feuds suffered for it. I see good things here and I hope they keep going with it. **1/4.


We go to a sit down interview with Mike Tenay and Trinity....but I must reiterate that I have NO AUDIO. I'm sure they're talking about the Kid Kash situation and how many times she's helped him win the X Title though. In mid interview, Kash sits down next to her and then gets in her face in a heelish manner before walking off. Yes, ALL THAT I got from body language. It's not just about memorizing your lines. The guys on the board pretty much confirmed that and also added that Kash told Trinity to stay in the corner and not to move.


Raven (w/Julio Dinero & Alexis Laree) vs. Kid Kash (w/Trinity)


Match Background: Last week, Kid Kash's valet, Trinity, had a match with Alexis Laree. During the match, Raven came into the ring and sat in the corner, watching the two women go at it. After Trinity got the pinfall on Laree, Raven gave her the Evenflow DDT. Kid Kash came down the aisle....but opted not to help Trinity and walked away. Raven then took Laree back to the dressing room with him and it appears that he has now brainwashed her into being his new valet. In Week 33, Raven met Julio Dinero in a clash of styles and ended up defeating him with the Evenflow DDT. We hadn't seen Dinero since then, but walked into the locker room earlier with Raven and Laree, sporting a new, dark look making it seem as if he's joined Raven's camp as well.


The Match: This match isn't for the X-Division title, by the way. Kash puts over his heelishness by arguing with the fans and telling Trinity not to talk back to him. I'm starting to dig Kash...


They lock up in the middle of the ring and exchange hammerlocks until Raven makes it to the ropes. The match starts off on a bad foot as Kash tries to clothesline Raven over the top, but he doesn't budge, so Kash covers by picking him up and just tossing him over. His new "Flock" go to console Raven, but Kash jumps onto the top turnbuckle...and jumps back down. He realized he didn't have good footing and made up for it by diving over the top onto them instead. Back in the ring, Raven goes for a clothesline, but Kash ducks and hits an enziguiri. Kash goes for his springboard somersault dropkick across the ring, but Raven moves out of the way and nails a clothesline. Alexis Laree looks scrumptious in her dark clothes and short mini skirt, so you know. Kash goes to fight back, but is tripped up by Larree and punched by Dinero , allowing Raven to cover for two. Raven drives the knee into Kash's neck for two and Laree gets on the apron to distract the ref. Raven goes for his drop toe hold onto a chair, but its reversed and he ends up tasting the steel. Kash comes back with some momentum and comes off the top with a SLOPPY ass rana and a spinning DDT for two. Kash goes for a monkey flip and gets powerbombed for two by Raven, but is thrown chest first into the turnbuckle. Kash charges at the turnbuckle for a springboard, but trips on the bottom rope. He recovers quickly and gets a cross body for two. A Kash roll up and leg lariat get two as well. Kash jumps up to the top, but is crotched by Raven who goes up for a superplex. Kash knocks him down and goes for a somersault senton, but crashes down on the mat. Kash looks over at Trinity and tells her to help him...and she obliges as the ref is arguing with Julio Dinero over something. She comes off the top and NAILS THAT RANA, unlike the wrestler she's with. Laree comes into the ring and charges at her, but Trinity sidesteps her and she runs into Dinero, knocking them both down at ringside. Trinity kicks Raven down and heads to the top for the moonsault, but goes after the ones on the outside instead and nailing it. She walks out as Kash gets up and walks into the Evenflow DDT for the pinfall.


Winner: Raven


My Opinion: There were way too many blown spots in this match, considering that the X Champion was in there with the #1 contender for the World Title. The booking of this match is also quite odd seeing as how Kash didn't have an issue with Raven hurting Trinity last week. I did like the evolution of his heelness though, keeping Trinity in her place until he was desperate for her help. It definitely makes him look like a useless champion though. Raven hitting the Evenflow DDT out of nowhere came as a shock as Kash was recovering the whole time that Trinity was kicking ass. The cameraman missed the shot anyway. *1/4.


West & Tenay pimp next week.....but I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING! All I know is that Don West probably said "NEXT WEEK!!!" about 57 times. They invite the OTHER NASCAR driver (not Hermie Sadler) out to do color commentary and I'm actually glad I don't have any sound tonight.


Red & Jerry Lynn vs. Shark Boy & Jason Cross vs. Triple X (Daniels & Skipper) vs. Jonny Storm and Chris Sabin.


Match Background: Aside from the tag team champions, Triple X, none of these men have ever teamed up in TNA together. Jonny Storm has only competed in TNA once against Lynn and Red in a triple threat match and hasn't been back since until now. Chris Sabin has never appeared on a TNA PPV, but sources tell me that he was one of the men that helped train Tenacious Z. The stipulations of the match are as follows. Should any team besides the tag team champions win the match, that team will become the #1 contenders for the tag team titles. Regardless of who wins, the winners will eventually go on to face each other and the winner of that singles match will be the #1 contender for the X-Division title.


The Match: Chris Sabin has Dean Malenko like tights and looks a bit like Chris Harris to me. The match starts off with Jonny Storm taking on Jerry Lynn and exchanging some of the most intricate reversals to armbars and hammerlocks I've ever seen. Lynn and Storm end up trying to pin each other with knuckle locks on, but Storm scissors Lynn's body in a full guard position and SOMEHOW end up BOTH on their heads, punching each other and making it look like they're playing pattycake. I swear, if you can get a clip of this, please do so because a description of this will NOT do this justice. Both men tag out and Red comes in to face Shark Boy. They also exchange arm wringers and armbars for a few until Red comes off the top with a cross body and gets dropkicked down. Shark Boy charges at Red and gets powerslammed for two. Red actually tags out to Daniels who hits a leg lariat on SB for two as well. SB gets a back kick and bites Daniels on the ass before tagging out to his partner Cross. Cross comes in and just goes on a flurry of reversals and dropkicks before tagging out to Chris Sabin, now facing Elix Skipper. They lock up and Chris is an AWESOME seller from the get go as Elix hits him witth a flurry of clotheslines, including one while he flips into the ring, ala EZ Money. Sabin comes back with a nice flying head scissors and blocks two Elix punches before getting a nice overhead belly to belly suplex! He tags out to Daniels, now in to face Shark Boy and Daniels gets the advantage with an enziguiri. Shark Boy SOMEHOW puts on the Stratusfaction Bulldog on Daniels for two, nails a jawbreaker and clotheslines him over the top. He follows with a plancha and Cross is ready to pounce on them both, but Sabin grabs Cross from behind and hits a release German suplex! Baseball slide on SB keeps him on the outside and Sabin hits a GORGEOUS running top rope plancha on them! Red follows suit with a somersault tope con hilo, leading to a "TNA" chant! Storm continues the game and gets his double jump somersault senton to the outside on all 4 men! In the ring, Cross and Daniels have hooked up and Cross comes off the top with his armed hooked, somersaulting into the Unprettier. He heads up top for the CROSSFIRE~!, but the masked luchador that has been plaguing Jerry Lynn in the last few weeks comes out and shoves him off the top! He runs into the crowd as Daniels puts on the Last Rites (Roll of the Dice) on Cross for the pin and elimination! He and SB are out! Storm gets a quick roll up on Daniels for two, but the Triple X member nails him with a leg lariat. Storm sends Daniels to the corner and charges at him, being elevated over the top and goes for his reverse rana. Just like his last two times on TNA, he blew the move, but Daniels covered for it nicely. He tries the move on Jerry Lynn, but Lynn reverses it into a TKO and Storm rolls out of the ring. Daniels nails Lynn out of the ring and Red comes off the top with a QUICK rana on Daniels! Elix comes in and nails the Play of the Day on Red! Sabin comes in and Elix goes after him with a cross body. Sabin rolls through and stands up...Catatonic.....INTO A BACKBREAKER~! OMG~! That would have gotten the three count if Daniels hadn't pulled the ref out. The masked luchador comes out again and gives Sabin a spinning DDT, leading to Lynn nailing the Cradle Piledriver for the pin! The masked luchador runs away once again and the finals of the match are Jerry Lynn & Red vs. Triple X. Daniels and Lynn start brawling in the ring and Daniels crotches Lynn on the top rope....not the turnbuckle, but the top rope. Elix then does a move I haven't seen him do in YEARS! He walks the top rope, towards Lynn and then ranas him down! The fans definitely popped for that and deservedly so! Elix officially tags into the match and they double team Lynn for two. Lynn fights back and causes Daniels to nail Elix, allowing him to get Daniels with an enziguiri! He tags out to Red who hits a MASSIVE double dropkick off the top! He becomes a HOUSE...EN..FUEGO~! roundhouse kicking everything in sight! Elix disposes of Red, so Lynn comes in and hits the sunset flip powerbomb off the second rope for two. Daniels saves Elix and hits a Book End on Lynn before heading to the top and hitting the double jump moonsault! ONE...TWO...NO! Triple X come in with a double crossbody and the pin is broken up by Red. Daniels goes after a Red superplex, but Lynn goes under and Red dropkicks him down! ONE...TWO...NO! Elix comes in with the tag belt, but Lynn kicks it back into his face! Daniels hits a quick STO on Red! ONE..TWO...NO! Red gets up and goes for a tilt a while....but turns it into an inside cradle! ONE...TWO...THREE! Red & Lynn and the #1 contenders for the tag titles AND will face each other to see who the #1 contender to the X Division Title is!


My Opinion: DAMN! Assuming this is the last match of the night, this was probably their best main event all year! For once, the X-Division competitors didn't blow any spots, the timing was perfect and the drama was built up expertly. Red is now over with the fans again after the whole Kid Kash debacle and this match put over some fresh new faces like Chris Sabin. The masked luchador probably interfered to make sure that Red and Lynn were in the finals of the match as he never touched him this week. This was Chris Daniels best showing in TNA so far and Elix busted out some stuff we haven't seen in quite some time. This match was breathtaking. I wish I HAD AUDIO because the crowd seemed to really come alive and enjoy it. There are many cool ways they can go with Red and Lynn as the #1 contenders for the tag titles yet X-Division rivals. Hopefully, booking like this will continue. ****


We go to the back to the deflate the mood as Goldylocks is with Eric Watts. I don't know what he said, but it was probably something like "I'm in your head, Jarrett...I'm in your head." I heard this promo wasn't too bad, but I'll have to judge it for myself.


NEXT, comes the main event promo as Jeff Jarrett goes to the ring to talk to Mike Tenay. After a few minutes of talking, Raven comes down to the ring (along with Laree and Dinero) and stands on the announce table. He grabs a mic and talks about their upcoming title match, which HAS been signed for April 30th. Jarrett then challenges Raven to do something about it right now and security comes into the ring to stop anything from happening. Raven gets on the apron with a chair and Jarrett gets one in retaliation. Alexis Laree gets on the apron and Jarrett swings at her. Ron "The Truth" Killings earns his weekly paycheck by running into the ring and then running out as Jarrett swings. Dusty Rhodes comes from behind Jarrett....and gets WAFFLED by the champion! Jeff turns around and has a look on his face like "What have I done!?" as TNA goes off the air...


Overall: How funny is it that I can't hear TNA's best show of the year to date? If I was able to hear the commentary, I'd probably understood things a lot better, but the body language for the most part told the whole story tonight. The in ring work was as good as it has ever been, it seems as if the storylines are starting to reach their climax and the emphasis is now being put on the in ring work once again along with compelling storylines. Keep it up TNA and I'll be back next week, like always. Next time...make sure we get some SOUND PLEASE!


'Til next time,


The Dames, Damian Gonzalez


Any questions, comments, hate mail, fan mail, whatever....send it all to [email protected]

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