The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Bad Blood 2003

[Guest TSMAdmin]

The Dames’ Diatribe on WWE Bad Blood 2003

 

This has been an odd few days for me as I’m sure most of you are wondering where the NWA:TNA Week 48 Diatribe is. For those of you who are unaware, Cablevision stopped airing TNA on PPV here roughly about a month ago and since then, I have been depending on Bob Barron of the TSM Forums and 411Wrestling to provide me with a tape (in person) shortly after for my review. The risk of this partnership is the fact that if he doesn’t tape it…I’m pretty much out of luck since I don’t have any other way of getting a tape quick enough. This was one of those times.

 

What made matters worse is the fact that this was one of the most memorable TNA shows ever as Jeff Jarrett finally lost the NWA World Title to AJ Styles, Shane Douglas made his TNA debut and Sting was announced to be on next week’s (This Wednesday’s) One Year Anniversary show. Luckily, I’ll be meeting up with Bob tonight and getting a review done as early as tonight for your reading pleasure.

 

The second item that has caused me a slight bit of panic is the fact that I had a major announcement scheduled for the One Year Anniversary show and was planning on using last week’s TNA to hype it, as well as the Diatribe for this show. Well, not only was I not able to hype it…but my announcement was made already earlier today.

 

The big news?

 

I am going to be the 4th selectable recapper in the highly anticipated next version of Extreme Warfare Revenge…EWR 4.0. This is a big deal for me as I’ve been placed on the same plateau as Scott Keith, CRZ and The Scotsman (although some may say that’s not exactly a good thing), with a little over a year’s worth of experience. With that being said, my writing structure is being kept intact for the game so expect “Match Background, The Match, My Opinion” sections for all of your matches.

 

For more information on the release of EWR 4.0 and all of its new features, head over to www.adamryland.co.uk to find out the details from the creator himself.

 

Now, onto tonight’s show.

 

This is the first of the WWE’s “split PPV’s”, with each respective brand alternating monthly and tonight, the Raw group get their turn to shine…or try to.

 

But before we hit the PPV, like always, there’s the match on Heat.

 

Bonus Heat Match: Ivory vs. Molly Holly

 

Match Background: Um….none? Molly Holly hasn’t been on TV regularly in quite some time (due to her refusal to go along with the Nowinski deflowering angle) and the last few times that she was, we weren’t told if she was even a babyface or a heel. She was on Raw as part of a 6 woman tag match last week and happened to be on the heel team, so it seems that’s all the motivation we need. At least she’s on TV tonight, unlike some other people like Tommy Dreamer. Ivory is on a roll with two straight non-title victories against WWE Women’s Champion Jazz, so look for her to get the victory here.

 

The Match: Ivory has new music now that she’s a babyface, but I doubt too many people noticed. Molly gets new music as well…but for some reason, Jerry Lawler now finds her attractive, despite looking the same as she always does. Molly starts out with a clothesline and a few heelish stomps and rope-assisted chokes before getting a rolling neck snap for two. Sloppy snap suplex also gets a two count for Hurricane’s former sidekick before she goes to the restholds. Ivory quickly fights out of it, but gets back suplexed by Molly for two again. A sloppy neckbreaker also gets Molly a two count and then beals Ivory across the ring with her hair as I wonder why these two aren’t clicking tonight. Ivory attempts the hand spring elbow in the corner but gets a boot to the back and Ivory makes her comeback with a pair of clotheslines. Ivory gets a stalling vertical suplex on Molly for two before heading to the top with a cross body. Molly rolls through and gets a near fall on Ivory as well….but when she gets up, Ivory nails her with the X-Factor that she now calls the “Poison Ivory” for the pinfall and the win.

 

Winner: Ivory

 

My Opinion: This, like other pre-PPV Heat matches, was done to heat the crowd up as Ivory’s push continues. The didn’t seem too into it, but warmed up by the matches end. All in all, the match was too short, Molly hasn’t been on TV enough to have the crowd give two shits about her anymore and the finish seemed to come out of nowhere. It’s obvious that Ivory will eventually be challenging Jazz for the women’s title, but it’ll have to be on Raw unless they drag this out for another two months. ½*

 

The PPV starts with a video package emphasizing the main event, Goldberg/Jericho…and Bischoff vs. Austin for some reason. They make it seem like the Redneck Contest is VERY serious and it seems MIGHTY out of place.

 

Live from Houston, Texas we will be tortured for the next 3 hours by Jerry Lawler and J.R.

 

The Dudley Boys vs. Christopher Nowinkski and Rodney Mack (w/ Teddy Long)

 

Match Background: Teddy Long, the manager of Rodney Mack, has been claiming that there is racial discrimination going on in WWE. Roughly about a month ago, Long on the behalf of Mack issued a challenge to anyone who was white and see if they could last 5 minutes with Rodney Mack. After squashing a few jobbers with his new Cobra Clutch finish which he calls the Black Out, Long decided that he needed better competition and so Mack faced Spike Dudley on an episode of Raw. Spike Dudley lasted 4:59 in the match before tapping out to the Black Out. The following week, the challenge got tougher when he faced Spike’s older half brother Bubba and would have lost if not for the interference of Christopher Nowinski and his face mask. Mack then faced D-Von the following week and a distraction on the part of Nowinski also lead to a Mack victory via the Black Out and the tag match was signed for tonight.

 

The Match: After the Duds entrance, we take you back to Heat where Chris Nowinski upset D-Von Dudley by insinuating that Bubba Ray looks down on him because of his race, conveniently leaving out the first two attempts of Nowinski’s speech as he actually forgot his lines. While in a D-Von chokehold, Nowinski says “Why does your white brother always telling YOU to get the tables…” and that got his attention.

 

Rodney Mack can also be listed as someone with new music as there is now lyrics in his. Mack and D-Von lock it up first and ends with D-Von getting the advantage. The crowd is RACIST~! as they chant “We Want Tables!” at D-Von…or maybe they just want to see someone go through a table. White boy Nowinski comes in and ends up in the Dudley’s corner for a moment before Bubba Ray comes in…and J.R. now calls him the leader of the Dudley Boys. Bubba goes to work on Nowinski in the corner, but Mack clotheslines him from the apron, allowing the Harvard grad to get the advantage again. This is short lived as Bubba once again gets the upper hand and ends up avalanching both Nowinski and Mack. They toss them both over the top to a pop and bring Nowinski back in. D-Von makes a blind tag as a Nowinski kick is caught by Bubba and D-Von nails him with a lariat for two. Mack pulls his partner out of the corner as D-Von charges and the crowd chants “Harvard sucks” as D-Von is crotched by Mack with the ringpost. Mack comes in and goes for a resthold immediately, but D-Von fights out only to receive a Mack spinebuster for a nearfall. Nowinski comes back in with a splash and misses a 2nd rope elbow allowing for D-Von to get a tag to Bubba. Bubba comes in and he’s hits a sideslam on Nowinski after taking care of The Mack for two. Bubba Bomb attempt is actually blocked as Nowinski uses his head, literally, and headbutts out of it. The crowd now DEMANDS that Bubba treat his half-brother like a slave as they beg for table usage. Bubba isn’t ready to do so yet as he continues to pound on Nowinski with a cross body off the second rope. Mack comes in to break the cover and D-Von comes in to even the odds. Mack and D-Von head to the outside as Nowinski takes his metal mask off and goes to nail Bubba with it, but he ducks and does his usual tribute to Dusty Rhodes with the Flip, Flop and Fly. Mack comes in and puts the Black Out on Bubba from behind…but Bubba blocks it and shoves him into Nowinski, who falls to the outside. He sets Mack up for the WHAZZUP headbutt as Long argues with the official and they nail it…and Bubba’s true colors are shown as he TELLS his brother to get the tables! D-Von goes to do it…but Long gets on the apron and D-Von gets all Kamala like for a moment, thinking “I AM A MAN” and hesitates on the table fetching. Eventually, he realizes how ludicrous that is and goes after Long, but Mack clotheslines him over the top from behind. Bubba then clotheslines Mack over the top as well before turning around to EAT Nowinski’s mask for the heel victory.

 

Winners: Christopher Nowinski & Rodney Mack

 

My Opinion: Another Dudley’s break up is teased tonight, even though the first time absolutely flopped. As a member of Teddy Long’s camp, D-Von could definitely be the break out member of that faction, but that isn’t saying much. I’d accept anything as long as they keep Bubba Ray Dudley from being a full time singles wrestler again. This match was another example of guys who just don’t click in the ring as Mack is very green and Nowinski isn’t much better. *

 

They play up the Redneck Triathlon between Stone Cold and Eric Bischoff is an actual match, but when the events are “pie eating” and a burping contest, it’s NOT A MATCH.

 

We go to the back where Terri Runnels is with Austin and Bischoff, ready to begin the first stage of the Triathlon, a burping contest. Each man receives three burps and whoever has the loudest and longest burps will be declared the winner. The burps were BADLY dubbed as this segment becomes an even bigger waste of time than humanly imaginable. My ex-girlfriend can beat the both of these guys anyway. The bottom line is that Austin is declared the winner (after a burp that was off cue with Austin’s machinations) and we thankfully end this segment that went WAY too long. One of Austin’s “burps” continued after he closed his mouth, just to give you an idea how bad this was.

 

Scott Steiner vs. Test in a “Winner Gets Stacy” Match

 

Match Background: After teaming together for weeks, Test and Steiner began to have their share of problems as Stacy Keibler, Test’s valet and girlfriend, was constantly in trouble and Steiner was her knight in shining armor. Test’s jealousy began to show as well as his cheating ways as he began stalking Torrie Wilson after her Playboy was released. Due to the conniving Sable, Stacy became under the impression that Torrie and Test were together and had a confrontation with her that lead to her needing rescuing from Steiner once again. Test once again saw this and was highly upset, angering Steiner who didn’t try to hide his distaste for Test. In a tag match against RVD & Kane, an accidental BIG ABOOT~! by Test caused Steiner to get pinned and the problems continued. After losing to La Resistance at Judgment Day as well as the night after on Raw, Stacy could no longer stop the two men from arguing and walked out on both, claiming that the team is done, but she’ll continue to manage both separately. In a match against Booker T the following week, Test pulls Stacy in the way of a baseball slide and revels in the act before losing to The Book. Steiner carried Stacy to the back afterwards. The next week, Stacy breaks up with Test…so he gets Bischoff to make a match between himself and Steiner for tonight and the winner gets Stacy’s “managerial services”, whatever that may be. And finally, last week, Test ran in after Steiner squashed poor Lance Storm and delivered the BIG ABOOT~! to his face. He goes after him with a chair, but Stacy, now with Steiner, stops him. He grabs her and tells her that it’s fine that she won’t be his girl…because after Sunday, “I’m going to make you my WHORE!” Test facial expression after saying that line was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in QUITE some time and I laughed for about 5 minutes straight, no shit. So, that’s what it’s about tonight…

 

The Match: For those of you who care, Stacy gets her own entrance. Test asks for a kiss as she comes down the aisleway, but she simply walks past him and attempts to get into the ring with Steiner. He pulls her down to the floor and in a HILARIOUS moment, Steiner tries to jump off the apron onto Test, but slips and lands face first at the back of Test’s feet! The mighty truly have fallen. Steiner goes into the ring with Test and clotheslines him down before hitting his Pumped Up Elbow and his usual push ups. Test gets out of the ring and uses Stacy as a shield in order to get a cheap shot on Steiner and tosses him into the steel steps. Test comes back into the ring and puts the boots to Steiner some more and gets some boos from crowd as he taunts Stacy, even getting a “You Suck” chant from them. Test slams Steiner down and does some push ups and taunts Stacy some more before applying a sleeper as the crowd chants “Let’s Go Steiner.” Test blows Stacy a kiss before coming off the top with a double axe handle attempt, but Steiner catches him and hits an overhead belly to belly. Steiner gets up and gets some offense in, even slamming Test down ala his brother Rick as Test was in mid leapfrog. The crowd gets behind Steiner as he chops Test in the corner a few times and 10 punches, but Test gets a Full Nelson Slam for two. Steiner floats over the Pumphandle Slam and ducks the BIG ABOOT~! and nails the reverse DDT for ONE…TWO…NO! Test gets up and gets the Pumphandle Slam for a two count as Stacy jumps up and down for joy at his kickout. Test heads to the corner to undo a turnbuckle, but Stacy gets on the apron and into a confrontation with Test where she ultimately slaps him. Steiner goes to clothesline him from behind, but Test ducks and Stacy is almost nailed. Steiner turns around into the BIG ABOOT~! for the ONE…TWO…NO! Test goes for a second cover, but Steiner kicks out again. Test heads to the outside and gets a chair…but Stacy won’t let him into the ring with it. He shoves her down and goes into the ring to nail Steiner…but ends up hitting himself when the chair bounces off the ropes. That NEVER happens to babyfaces, have you noticed that!?

Steiner hits the reverse Russian Legsweep (Edge’s former Downward Spiral) for the win and Stacy’s full time services.

 

Winner: Scott Steiner

 

After the match, Steiner makes her go in and out of the ring a bunch of times. Steiner carries Stacy to the back on his shoulders ala Savage/Ms. Elizabeth…

 

My Opinion: No one really expected this match to be anything good and for the most part it wasn’t. Steiner’s slip up early on was hilarious though. This match ultimately doesn’t mean anything as Stacy hasn’t proven to be an asset at ringside instead of a liability and the only thing it DOES do is establish the fact that Test’s character is a total ass. In which case, judging by the heat that he was getting tonight, he should have won the match and allowed this to play out on Raw. Now, we’ll just have Stacy and Steiner going through the motions, not going anywhere as WWE won’t allow Steiner to even touch the upper midcard after his matches with Triple H earlier this year. 1/2*

 

In the back, Steve Austin and Bischoff discuss the pie eating contest and Bischoff apparently has done a lot of research on it. He shows Austin four lovely ladies in a backstage room that he’s chosen for the contest. Bischoff wants to go first and Austin refuses, since they’re in Texas for a cheap pop. Austin then declares that Bischoff CAN go first…but only if he can choose the “flavor” of the pie. Bischoff agrees…

 

Let’s face it. EVERYONE knows that they won’t show any muff diving tonight…so the only thing that’s left to figure out is how they’ll get out of it. For those of you thinking to yourselves, “Man, they better eat some pie, I paid 35 bucks for this!”, not only are you out of luck…but you could have spent less if you ordered the pay per view a few channels up and gotten more “bang” for your buck, so to speak.

 

Christian vs. Booker T for the Intercontinental Title

 

Match Background: Last month, Stone Cold Steve Austin brought back the Intercontinental Title and declared a Battle Royal to take place at Judgment Day with former IC Champs and Booker T. Booker T was left alone with Christian as the final two competitors and had the match won after clearly eliminating him, but the referee had been knocked down and didn’t see it. Christian came back into the ring and walloped Booker with the title and eliminated him as the downed ref awoke and declared Christian the winner. The next night, Christian had a makeover of sorts with a new haircut and style of dress and established his “Peeps” catchphrase. On a Jericho Highlight Reel segment, Christian and Jericho beat up The Rock, making a special appearance and Booker made the save. In a funny “Spinaroonie Challenge”, Christian busted out some dance moves before attacking Booker T from behind, setting up tonight’s match. So far, Christian has yet to win ANY matches, tag or otherwise, that he’s been involved in since winning the title.

 

The Match: The production team is working overtime as Christian not only has new music AGAIN, but a new Peep-centered Titantron. Booker T gets a BIG pop, louder than usual for him as Lillian Garcia puts extra emphasis on the fact that he hails from “HOUSTON, TEXAS!” Christian kisses the belt before handing it to the ref, ala Bret Hart as the announcers declare him the heavy underdog. Booker and Christian lock up and Christian gets an armdrag to start. They lock up again with Booker T getting the advantage with a headlock takeover, which is ultimately broken up in the corner. Christian charges and gets back body dropped for two. Christian then holds onto the ropes on an irish whip attempt and avoids a Harlem um…excuse me, Houston Sidekick but ends up taking an atomic drop for two. Christian gets on the apron and snaps Booker’s neck on the ropes to take the advantage and go to the outside where he rams Book’s head into the stairs. The IC champ gets a two count before putting on a chinlock. The crowd pumps Booker up, but Christian heads to the top and signals to his peeps. Booker catches him and flapjacks him to a pop, but both men are down. “Get That Sucka” chant starts as Booker gets up and makes his comeback with a flying forearm and a sidekick for two. A second sidekick gets two for The Book, but Christian gets up and goes for his reverse DDT drop. Booker blocks it, flapjacks the champ onto the ropes and gives HIM the reverse DDT drop for a nearfall. Booker almost blows the roll up in the corner, but Christian rolls though it and holds onto the ropes for a two count. Booker charges and Christian gives him the BOOK END~! and gets a ONE…TWO…NO! Christian gets upset and throws a mini tantrum…and gets rolled up by Booker for a close two count! Booker gets thrown over the top, but lands on the apron and knees Christian in the midsection…setting up the scissors kick on the apron! He hits it and heads to the top as the crowd is alive! He looks like he’s going for the Hangover, but Christian gets up…so Booker nails the missile dropkick instead! ONE…TWO…NO! Christian rakes the eyes but eats a Houston sidekick…and Booker hands us the SPINAROONIE~! He goes for the scissors kick, but Christian bails, grabs his title and runs up the ramp to get counted out! The ref gets on THE STICK~! and says that if he doesn’t return to the ring before the count of 10…he’ll lose the match AND the title! Since when do referees have the right to declare new rules in a match like that? The crowd is now REALLY into it as Christian stalls and has to run into the ring at the last minute and bails again just as quickly. Booker gives chase and Christian runs into the ring, grabs his title belt and nails Booker with it! The referee has no choice to disqualify him as the crowd chants “Bullshit” and rightfully so.

 

Winner: Booker T via DQ

 

My Opinion: Christian was considered the underdog so much, I almost expected him to retain. I highly doubt that Christian would be allowed a three week reign with ZERO victories under his belt. Not only that, but it seems as if wrestlers NEVER win in their hometowns anymore anyway. It’s almost as if WWE has been going out of their way to make sure the hometown fans don’t go home happy. I like Christian as the Intercontinental Champion and I think that he’d do well, but right now, that title needs to be reestablished and quickly and having a champion who hasn’t won a match SINCE winning the title isn’t doing it any favors. Look for this feud to continue. *3/4.

 

Nash is shown in the back getting ready for the Hell in the Cell match….nothing important happens.

 

Jerry Lawler is in the ring as he’s the host for the Pie Eating contest…and is just as excited about this as you can guess. Bischoff and Austin head to the ring and Lawler begins his hosting duties before Austin interrupts. Austin confirms his deal with Bischoff about him choosing which pie he eats, to which Bischoff agrees. Austin says that he kept in mind the fact that Bischoff likes “mature” women…and it’s just OBVIOUS where this is going. The four girls from the prior segment are on the Titantron and Austin tells them that they won’t be needed tonight. I find it absolutely hilarious that the girls backstage act SO disappointed that they won’t be pleased orally in front of a nationally televised arena. He, of course, brings out Mae Young….and viewers everywhere run away. Bischoff is clearly upset and is FULLY ready to quit, but refuses to forfeit the entire Triathlon to Austin. He begrudgingly kisses Mae Young and tells Austin to “top that!” Austin says that he just kissed her…this is a PIE EATING Contest! Mae then kicks Bischoff in the jewels and sets him up for a Bronco Buster….but not before taking off her long skirt to reveal a thong! Vince McMahon has a SICK sense of humor….

 

She Bronco Busters Bischoff, rubbing herself all over his face instead of bouncing and Bischoff says…”Austin, you BASTARD…your turn!” Mae Young is READY for Austin’s carpet munching skills…but he decides to give her a Stunner instead. He forfeits and Bischoff is LIVID.

 

I just lost the last 10 minutes of my life…and I’ll NEVER get it back. EVER.

 

They show the Kurt Angle return promo (NOT the “Clocks” video, the one they used to hype his return for Smackdown) in order to pimp next month’s Smackdown-only PPV, Vengeance.

 

Kane is shown in the back looking in the mirror as we set up for the Tag Title match coming up. La Resistance is interviewed in the back with The Coach. Sylvian Grenier draws a ton of heat by stating that tonight is a big night for them…but unfortunately, they’re in Texas, home of the “buffoon”, G.W. Bush. Rene Dupree dedicates their match tonight to France and President Chirac.

 

Kane & RVD vs. La Resistance for the World Tag Team Titles

 

Match Background: After defeating Test & Steiner at the last PPV, La Resistance moved up to the Tag Team Champions, which just shows how poor the tag division is on Raw. Sylvian Grenier defeated RVD in a flag match with the help of his partner Rene Dupree and the following week, Kane loses to Dupree after a low blow. This prompts Raw Co-GM Stone Cold Steve Austin down to try and re-awaken the monster that Kane used to be, but after unsuccessful attempts to anger him, Austin stunned him and walked away. This clearly had an adverse effect on Kane as he didn’t bother to help RVD the next week when he was jumped by both members of La Resistance. This lead to RVD confronting Kane about his lack of action and it seems that these two men aren’t getting along…

 

The Match: Kane and RVD have AWKWARD MOMENTS~! as they enter the ring separately. RVD starts the match up with Dupree, who escapes RVD’s clutches in the early going and does his hilarious jumping from side to side taunt. RVD gets a roll up for two and pops the crowd with his Thumbs taunt before hitting his spinning wheel kick on Dupree. RVD gets a cross body for two and looks to Kane…but there’s no tag. He inside cradles Dupree for two as well before getting his shoulder blocks in the corner. Monkey flip attempt is countered as Grenier pulls RVD off and throws him throat first onto the top rope to give Dupree the advantage. DDT (complete with RVD’s GREAT sell) gets two and Grenier comes in for a pair of two counts. “USA” chant starts by the crowd as RVD is in trouble in the French corner and Dupree puts on a rear chinlock. RVD gets out of it and enziguiri’s him before tagging to Kane. Kane is a HOUSE..EN…FUEGO~! and goes to work on Grenier in the corner. Dupree comes off the top, but Kane catches him and throws him down. A side slam for Grenier also gets a two count. Kane heads to the top and nails his clothesline for a broken up two count. Kane, who put his head down too early after irish whipping Dupree, then falls victim to a double team neckbreaker attempt…which looked more like Dupree performing the move and Grenier falling with them. Kane gets up and double clotheslines them before tagging in RVD. RVD gets launched by Kane onto Dupree and baseball slides into Grenier on the outside. RVD tosses Dupree out as well as and looks to perform a high spot. Kane, who is also on the outside, gets up and puts his hands around the necks of La Resistance as they get up, causing RVD to knock Kane down when he comes flying over with a Somersault Tope! La Resistance throw RVD back in the ring and nails their doubleteam Spinebuster for ONE…TWO…THREE!

 

Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: La Resistance!

 

My Opinion: This match was quite short and never truly went anywhere. It’s nice to see a heel clean win, although of course, it had to come from the babyface team not getting along instead of actual skill. Now Kane and RVD will probably end up having a set of matches with each other as La Resistance moves on to the weak Raw tag division as the champs, most likely to face the Dudley Boys. Dupree and Grenier haven’t shown much in the ring though. Not terrible, but pretty short. *1/4.

 

A Gail Kim promo airs, but still no date of arrival…

 

Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho

 

Match Background: The best build up to matches generally stem from real life conflict and this has plenty of it. Back in 1998, Chris Jericho was a hot, young prospect in WCW and Goldberg was their biggest star. Jericho, a VERY over heel at the time who wrote his own promos, kept alluding to facing “Greenberg” and the build up was there for a PPV match between the two, where Goldberg would have definitely won. However, word got around that Goldberg didn’t want to work with Jericho because he was too “small” to face him and this left such a bad taste in Jericho’s mouth that he jumped ship to WWE a few months later. Fast forward to 2003 and Goldberg is now in the company as well. On an episode of Raw, Goldberg was almost run over as he was stepping out of his limo and it turns out that the perpetrator was Lance Storm, working on behalf of Chris Jericho. When asked why he did it, Jericho told the story about his WCW days and Goldberg’s refusal to work with him. When Goldberg charged the ring to confront Jericho on it, he was maced and then speared by Jericho who went on to anger Goldberg more in recent weeks. He made TSM Raw Writer Patrick Spoon cry as he threw paint on one of Goldberg’s muscle cars, caused Goldberg to spear referee Charles Robinson (who took it like a MAN and LIKED IT) and continued his hit and run assault. His strategy, which Jericho revealed to Christian, was to make Goldberg so upset he would become unfocused and could made mistakes that Jericho could capitalize on at tonight’s Bad Blood.

 

The Match: Goldberg is summoned from the back by a random security guard, like always, before coming to the ring to face Y2J. Jericho bails from the ring as Goldberg arrives, to play just one more mind game with him prior to the match. Goldberg charges at Jericho, but Y2J steps out of the way. Goldberg tackles Jericho the second time around and falls through the ropes with him to the floor and Goldberg attacks him with a bunch of knees. Back in the ring, Goldberg misses two clothesline attempts and catches Jericho on a cross body try and slams him down. He’s getting a semblance of boos. He hiptosses Jericho out of the corner as the fans start chanting “Y2J” faintly. Goldberg charges at Jericho in the corner, but once again, Jericho uses his speed to the advantage to get out of the way and goes on the offensive attack. Goldberg shoves him away, but Jericho keeps charging to no avail. Goldberg press slams him and drops him crotch first onto the top rope. Side kick for Jericho, who falls to the outside and gets pressed onto the security rail as well. Another “Y2J” chant breaks out as Goldberg looks to spear Jericho on the outside. He charges, but Jericho dives out of the way and Goldberg goes FLYING through the security barricade into the crowd! He holds his right shoulder and the spear is replayed a few times as the referee checks on him. Jericho goes after Goldberg and rams him into the steel post, shoulder first and Goldberg is bleeding slightly. I believe this is the first time he’s juiced…and it’s nothing more than a trickle coming off the top of his head. Jericho comes off the top with a missile dropkick onto Goldberg’s right shoulder for two. He attacks it with a fury as Goldberg actually sells it properly. Goldberg is booed as he kicks Jericho away, but Jericho is able to come back with a single arm DDT and a Fujiwara armbar! Goldberg rolls through it and Jericho goes back on the offensive. Jericho attempts something off the 2nd rope, but Goldberg catches him with a kick to the midsection. He hits a shoulderblock and an atomic drop, selling the shoulder the entire time…and finishes off this offensive fury with a spin kick to the side of the head. Thoughts of Bret Hart come running to my head. Goldberg attempts a hip toss, but Jericho reverses it into a DDT and a two count! Jericho comes charging at Goldberg, but hits a high hip lock takeover as a “Goldberg sucks” chant starts. Jericho dropkicks Goldberg down and then nails the bulldog and hits the Lionsault! ONE…TWO…NO! Goldberg is no longer bleeding, by the way. A second bulldog is nailed…and Jericho goes for a second Lionsault, but Goldberg is up! He tries to catch him, but blows it…so he just picks him up and slams him down. Both men are down…but Goldberg sets up for the spear! Jericho gets up…and Goldberg gets a weak spear…and sells the shoulder! He gets up holding his arm some more and attempts the Jackhammer as the “Goldberg sucks” chant have increased in audibility, but he can’t pick Y2J up. Jericho low blows Goldberg…and the place ERUPTS in a “Y2J” chant! Jericho puts on the Walls of Jericho and Goldberg tries to go to the ropes. Jericho pulls him to the middle of the ring, but Goldberg turns it over and powers out. He sets up for the spear a second time and he gets it! Goldberg gets up and Jackhammers Jericho for the ONE…TWO…THREE!

 

Winner: Goldberg

 

After the match, Goldberg spots someone at ringside with a “I’m a Jerichoholic” sign and gets into an argument with the kid. The cameras cut away quickly…

 

My Opinion: This match was better than I anticipated it to be. I liked the spear though the barricade, not only for the amazing visual, but because Jericho’s plan came to fruition. He said that everything he did was to make Goldberg so mad that he would make a mistake and then capitalize and he did. Goldberg sold the arm as if it were dead, which was definitely an improvement, but it should have been gradual, considering all of the things that Jericho did to work on it. The crowd was VERY vocal about being displeased with Goldberg and I wonder if that will influence the office to turn him heel as this is the second time in as many PPV’s where he has gotten negative reactions from the crowd. Knowing Goldberg’s previous stint as a heel in WCW and his displeasure over his booking as of late, I’m sure that Goldberg is almost regretting signing with WWE. **1/2

 

The camera then cuts to show a pig pen near the ramp for some reason. You just KNOW someone will end up in it by the end of the night.

 

Terri is with Austin and Bischoff again in the back and they spin the wheel to see what the third event will be for the Redneck Triathlon. It ends up falling on “Sing Off” and Bischoff rejoices as Austin doesn’t sign well. Austin admits it and Bischoff is VERY pleased as he says that he’s got “a set of pipes.”

 

The WWE production once again gets ALL sorts of credit from me as the video package for Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels was AMAZING. They incorporated tons of old WCW footage for Flair as well as the emotional promo that Flair and Michaels had together a few weeks ago. If they had kept it a respectful one on one match instead of Flair turning, this package would have been a lot more meaningful and so would the match.

 

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Match Background: After being on the opposite ends of tag teams at last month’s Judgment Day, Shawn Michaels approached Ric Flair on the night that he (Flair) was scheduled to face Triple H and supposedly lay down for him at the champ’s request. HBK told Flair that he idolized him and was the reason why he began wrestling in the first place, so he should NOT lay down and take the fight to the champ. Flair was VERY emotional (Flair is such a great actor, by wrestling’s standards) and questioned his ability to defeat HHH, but came DAMN close in a very good match on Raw. The following week, Flair thanked HBK for helping him dig deep and find the 16-time World Champ again. HBK respectfully asked to face Flair at Bad Blood in a matter of respect, which Flair accepted. They then were scheduled to team up in a handicap match against Triple H that night, but Michaels pretended to be Sting for a night and was turned on by Flair who sucker punched him and beat him down. Flair’s motivation was that HBK was nothing more than a Flair wannabe and if he was going to “pass the torch” to anyone, it wouldn’t be to him. They faced each other in a few tag team matches as Randy Orton re-debuted and reformed Evolution with Flair and Triple H and Michaels has been combating Flair and Orton since. Funny tidbit about this match. WWE was actually promoting this match as something that had never taken place before, but EVERYONE on the TSM Forums brought up the fact that they faced each other when Michaels was a part of the Rockers in a match that is on the WWF Invasion ’92 video. A number of fans must have realized the same thing as they stopped promoting the match that way and actually brought up that match in a Michaels promo where he said that he was young then, but seasoned now and ready to take on the Nature Boy.

 

The Match: The lock up with Flair getting a hammerlock and strutting after the break. HBK then returns the favor and struts as well...but also slaps Flair across the face. Flair takes HBK down and they jockey for position until Flair gets to the ropes, signaling for a break. HBK gets a headlock on Flair and once again a rope break is needed. Flair shoves Michaels who jacks his jaw with a right hand in return and Flair falls to the outside. HBK follows him out with a pescado and throws him back into the ring. Flair kicks HBK in the knee and chops him in the corner, but Michaels fights out and irish whips Flair. Flair reverses it and drops down, but Michaels drops down as well into a side headlock. In the corner now, Flair chops the hell out of Michaels chest…but HBK retaliates with a few of his own and some punches. Flair goes for an atomic drop, but no dice and HBK takes over. The ref asks for a break, giving Flair the opportunity to clip Michaels in the back of the knee and he goes to work. A knee drop on Michael’s knee sets Flair up with chops in the corner and a few stomps to the knee. Flair drops all of his weight on Michaels knee and puts the figure four on! The crowd is behind HBK…but he can’t get out of the move! He’s in it for almost a minute and Flair gets a few two counts out of it before Michaels finally gets to the ropes. Earl Hebner calls for the break and gets into a shoving match with Flair. Flair refocuses on Michaels and goes to work on the leg again. Flair holds onto Michaels’ leg, only to get an enziguiri, but Flair comes back with chops in the corner. Michaels fights out of the corner and back body drops Flair while selling the leg. Flair capitalizes and heads to the top…where he’s thrown off, of course. HBK signals for Sweet Chin Music and Flair catches it, going for the figure four, but Michaels gets a roll up for two! HBK with a figure four of his own! Flair pokes Michaels in the eye to break the hold and gets to his feet where he goes for a back suplex, but HBK flips over it and shoves Flair into the corner, where he runs into Hebner. HBK rolls up Flair, but Hebner is late for the count and only gets a two. Michaels tosses Flair into the turnbuckles and Flair gets the Flair Flip (albeit very slowly) and heads off the top rope, only to be knocked down by HBK. Michaels sets Flair up for a superplex and gets it! HBK bails and goes under the ring to set up a table at ringside! Flair attacks as Michaels tries to get back into the ring and tries to suplex him over the top through the table! Michaels recovers and places Flair on the table…and then Randy Orton runs in from the crowd…only to EAT Sweet Chin Music and take a HARD bump on the floor! Michaels goes up top…and TWISTS his body in mid air ala RVD to splash through Flair on the table!!! Flair starts SCREAMING and sells the HELL out of it as it’s revealed that he’s bleeding hardway from his back. Michaels with the cover for a close two count and Flair goes to the corner to recover. Michaels goes behind Flair…and Hebner goes behind Michaels and both men get low blowed when Flair hits his usual mule kick, sending the ref down. Flair gets up and struts to “WOO”s from the crowd and Michaels gets up. Back body drop onto Flair is followed up by a flying forearm and a kip up by Michaels. He slams Flair and goes up top…and hits the flying elbow! He signals for Sweet Chin Music again and starts to warm up the band…and hits it! Randy Orton comes running into the ring immediately and PASTES HBK in the head with a chair shot and puts Flair on top for the cheap victory.

 

Winner: Ric Flair

 

My Opinion: This match was going GREAT until the abrupt and unclean ending. This was, for the most part, a clean wrestling contest, which are two of the strengths of both men and was reminiscent of Michaels match with Jericho at WM 19. I truly wish that it had gone for longer as I feel almost shortchanged that this match didn’t end clean, but that most likely would have guaranteed a Michaels’ victory. ***

 

Eric Bischoff heads to the ring for the final event in the Redneck Triathlon and I BEG this to be over ASAP. He grabs THE STICK~! He says that he’s going to sing his own theme music! He starts lip syncing his own theme until Austin interrupts on the Titantron to call him out. He tells Bischoff to do it without the lyrics…so play the instrumental. Bischoff starts signing…poorly, of course, until Austin stops him to tell him how brutal this is. How appropriate. Since Austin can’t sing either, they’re going to spin the wheel one more time. If this thing lands in something having to do with a pig pen, it would just be insulting to my intelligence. Austin goes to “spin” the wheel and decided not to totally disrespect out intellect by forcing the wheel to stop on Pig Pen Fun. Apparently, whoever lands in the Hog Pen is the loser…and Austin tells the fans to make sure Bischoff doesn’t get out of the arena until he gets there. Bischoff tries to go through the crowd and a plant throws him back. Austin comes to the ring and attacks Bischoff (that was uncalled for!) and gives him a Stunner. He takes Bischoff to the top of the stage and throws him into the pig pen…and Austin wins the STUPID STUPID Triathlon. Austin has the right idea and drinks a ton of beer to try and forget this ever happened. With all of the problems he’s aired about the creative team, can you possibly imagine Austin thinking this was a good idea?

 

Once again, the WWE Production Crew have ALL my love as they actually make the HIAC match seem interesting…at least the HHH/Foley parts.

 

Triple H vs. Kevin Nash in a Hell in a Cell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

Special Guest Referee: Mick Foley

 

Match Background: After turning on Kevin Nash a couple of months ago, Triple H pinned Nash in a tag team match after a sledgehammer shot to the face at Backlash. This prompted Nash to be even more angry (although he didn’t really show it) and at Judgment Day, Triple H got himself disqualified by nailing referee Earl Hebner with a sledgehammer, retaining the title. Nash, even MORE upset, Jackknife powerbombed Triple H through the announce table on the stage and left Trips laying. Since there was no winner, Stone Cold Steve Austin declared that a rematch would take place in a Hell in a Cell match. The referees told Austin that they refused to officiate the match because Triple H abused Earl Hebner last month and referee Tim White hasn’t come back to officiate ever since separating his shoulder in the HIAC match between Triple H and Jericho at last year’s Judgment Day. This prompted Austin to call the only person he felt would be brave enough to call that match inside the Hell in a Cell, Mick Foley. Due to Foley’s past with Triple H and the fact that Trips retired Mick in a Hell in a Cell match at No Way Out 2000, the champion was VERY unpleased with the decision and told Foley that unless he turned down the job, he would be forced to unleash pain upon the retired wrestler. Foley thought about it throughout the broadcast but made his decision…he would still ref the match, but should he have to take a beating from HHH, he would do so at that very moment, prompting a brawl between the two men which rekindled their chemistry in the ring. HHH layed Foley down, but was unsuccessful in putting him out, which drove the champion mad. Attempting to continue the beating, Triple H came back into the ring only to have Kevin Nash come down and Jackknife him for a phantom three count administered by Mick Foley and the stage is set for tonight’s main event.

 

The Match: Mick Foley gets a bigger pop than the competitors involved…how sad is that? HHH goes after Nash quickly, but eats a Big Boot. Nash sends HHH to the outside and tries to ram him into the cage. HHH blocks it and goes back into the ring, but Nash gets up and nails HHH with right hands. HHH takes the advantage by dropping Nash throat first into the ropes and punches in the corner. Nash knees HHH in the corner and hits the framed elbow before clotheslining HHH on the outside. Nash rams Trips into the ring post and then whips him into the cage. He whips him into the cage a second time, which doesn’t have much give to it. Nash backdrops HHH on the outside and he takes a HARD bump out there. Nash throws him back in and goes to work on Trips in the corner again. Sideslam by Nash gets a two count, which is followed by a pair of running…no, strolling elbowdrops for two. Nash goes to the outside and retrieves a chair and he nails HHH in the midsection and across the back! J.R. “Triple H has been one of the most arrogant, uncaring bastards this company has ever seen!” Then, of course, J.R. talks about how Trips is the best in the business. Nash whips Trips into the ringsteps…and then throws them at him. HHH moves out of the way and the steps hit the side of the Cell, but unlike the HHH/Foley HIAC, the Cell doesn’t break. HHH gets back up and rams Nash into the steps. Nash goes for the Jackknife on the outside…but the limitations of the cage won’t allow it, so HHH gets back on his feet and back on the attack. HHH goes under the ring and opens up a tool box. He goes to nail Nash with a piece of metal, but Nash hits him first and sends HHH down. On the floor, HHH grabs a hammer and hits Nash in the knee with it…and then over the head! Trips gets into the ring and Foley takes the hammer away from him…and gets into a shoving match which Foley wins, to a big pop! HHH goes after Nash’s head now, which is now bloody and he grates his forehead on the cell. HHH grabs a screwdriver and tries to make Nash the Bret to his Vince as he goes to use it on him. Nash isn’t able to block it a second time and HHH screws into Nash’s head…and J.R. actually apologizes for the “graphic display of violence”. Foley takes it away from him as well. HHH goes under the ring and gets the barbed wire 2x4 and he hits Nash in the midsection with it. Nash blocks a second shot and grabs the 2x4 himself. He nails Triple H on the top of the head and Trips comes up bleeding big time! A second shot with the 2x4 and Nash sets it up in the corner, laying it on the top turnbuckle. He clotheslines HHH from corner to corner and Snake Eyes Trips into the barbed wire 2x4! ONE...TWO…NO! Nash goes to the outside and fetches the ring steps, bringing it into the ring. Triple H goes to the floor and Nash goes after him…but Trips smacks Nash in the head with a wooden crate, breaking it! Triple H gets his sledgehammer from underneath the ring and Foley takes it from him. Triple H then decks Foley because of it and picks up the ring steps. He charges at Nash, but Nash uses the WEAKEST drop toe hold EVER, causing Trips to hit himself with the ring steps. That was 95% Triple H. Nash gets up and goes for a chair shot on Triple H, but he kicks him in the knee, knocking him down and uses the chair on him…AND smacks Foley in the head with it! Foley gets busted open and all three men are down! Foley gets up and pulls out Mr. Socko! He puts it on the champion and the crowd is going crazy! Triple H low blows Foley to get out of it. Triple H picks up Foley as Nash charges at them with the steel steps and nails them both! Nash covers Trips, but there’s no one to count as Foley is down. He gets up on the apron and Nash goes to check on him. Triple H charges from behind and sends Nash into Foley, who goes FLYING backwards into the cage! Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but its reversed into the 2x4 in the corner! JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB! Foley is up! ONE…TWO…NO!!!! I 100% believed that nearfall! Foley struggles to get back to his feet, as does Nash, but Triple H smacks Nash in the face with the sledgehammer! Nash gets up and Triple H hits the Pedigree and Foley goes over the cover…ONE…TWO…THREE!

 

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H

 

The rest of Evolution, Ric Flair and Randy Orton, come down to the ring to help Triple H to the back as the Pay Per View closes at 10:35 or so…

 

My Opinion: This match wasn’t nearly as bad as it was meant to be, mostly due to the overbooking. I’m saddened for Foley as he had to come out of retirement to take bumps and bleed to get two slugs over in a match that most people didn’t really care about. Triple H really did bust his ass to try and get the best match possible here. The interactions between Triple H and Foley are what got the crowd going, although EVERYONE bought the Jackknife false finish at the end. I still don’t understand why Trips would take a barbed wire 2x4 shot, followed by the Jackknife and kill his friends finish though. There really isn’t anyone left for HHH except for Goldberg, but with the reactions that he’s been getting, it’s not a lock anymore. **

 

Overall: Please, do yourself a favor and stay away from this pay per view. The Redneck Triathlon was PURE CRAP and leads to nothing. It took about 20 – 25 minutes on the show if you add all of the skits and everything put together. Minutes that could have been used to put some other guys on the PPV or make certain matches longer or do SOMETHING besides that. Basically, when it comes down to it, if you remove the Redneck Triathlon crap and all of the commercials and skits, you end up with a show that roughly 2 hours and 10 minutes…i.e., your average episode of Raw with an overrun. This seemed like a super edition of Raw where none of the matches warranted paying 35 dollars. This has got to be up there as one of the worst Pay Per Views of the year. I can’t wait to see the buyrate after Vengenace so WWE could get the message that Smackdown is still the superior show, even if they haven’t exactly shown it lately.

 

‘Til Next Month,

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

 

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