Promo: the coming frost

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

(Scene opens with a close up of a steaming pool of water.  The camera pulls back to show the pool in its entirety, its banks covered in snow.  Frost steps into the shot wearing his wrestling gear and a scowl on his face.)

 

These are one of the geothermal spas that dot my home of Iceland (he gestures toward pool). I cannot say that I value their heat and energy like others. I have always been one to embrace the pure cold and severe bitterness of the north wind, for I do not just simply thrive in the frost, I am Frost (he strikes his chest with a closed fist for emphasis).

 

In the winter, when the freezing point is the average temperature, I go running on the outskirts of the city of Reykjavik. I venture ten, twenty miles into the wind and snow and ice before turning back. These excursions are not without their souvenirs (taps chest with thumb). I received these scars when I unwittingly ventured into a polar bear’s den. Some might say that I am venturing into the den of death again by seeking to enter the SJL. Yet, if a polar bear could not end me, what makes anyone in the SJL think that they can. And this time, I do so not unwittingly, but with full knowledge of the decision I make. The SJL has not chosen me; I have chosen it. The competitors of the SJL have not chosen to face me; I have chosen to destroy them (makes a fist with his hand in a crushing motion). I have already conquered the pitiful wrestlers of my motherland and the SJL will only be another miniscule stepping stone along my path of greatness.

 

But how does the SJL seek to reward my greatness?  How do they seek to repay the honor I have bestowed on them with my mere presence?  By scheduling my first match as a triple threat against Cutthroat and T-Bone.  A Backstreet Boy wannabe who could not defeat a back alley bum and a degenerate with a fetish for steak sauce.  Take a good look at this face (camera zooms in on Frost’s bitter, frowning expression), does this look like a man who finds anything funny about STEAK SAUCE!?  (camera pulls back to previous placement, showing Frost from the waist up)

 

I leave later today for the garbage pit of Rochester, New York.  A nearly 20 hour flight, but I will take no magazines, no Walkman, no paltry trifles to pass the time.  I will spend those numerous long hours over the Atlantic plotting out in my head what I will do to Cutthroat and T-Bone in our match.  I will play out every single move in my mind, relish the images of anguish, listen to the echoes of bones breaking and resolve shattering.

 

To my worthy (he turns his head and spits a thick loogie into the pool) opponents and to all in the SJL foolish enough to traipse into MY den of death, I warn you to be wary of the Touch of Frost or you shall face the consequences of an Early Winter (Camera zooms in tight as possible, just showing Frost’s intense, riveted eyes.  Fade out).

[Guest Thoth]

Hee hee... I don't know why I'm laughing, but I am!

 

I like him!

[Guest Suicide King]

I for one find steak sauce to be highly amusing.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Use of the word 'loogie' = 5 bonus points.

 

Nice first effort.  You RPers are crazy kids, I tells ya!

[Guest]

First off, it's not a fetish, it's a trademark.

Secondly, nice promo.

[Guest Ace309]

HEY!!!!!!!!

 

 

BUFFALO is the only garbage pit in Western New York, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT, BOY!

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

"I leave later today for the garbage pit of Rochester, New York."

 

Damn straight, Frost! Especially since I live there

 

Yeah, that's true. I picked the arena we'll be in, and it's... WOOT! Hometown of tha Lone Star Maverick himself....... tha Flunkmasta Flexxx!

 

(upon hearing that, the crowd leaves in droves)

 

F***ING INGRATES! I'll show you

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

I want to thank everyone for their positive feedback on my first promo. It lets me know that I've taken a step in the right direction. I hope my match turns out as well.

[Guest Shawn]

Well keep writing good promos and you will get more good feedback. So in other words, keep up the god work.

 

 

Now if only I could do a good promo... then the day will be mine, Trebek!

 

Wha...?