50 reasons why Big Show > Kurt Angle

[Guest RollingSambos]

1. Big Show doesn't wax or shave his chest, because he's a manly man's man ala Tom Selleck.

2. Kurt drools, but Show drools BUCKETS and he does it on EMTs.

3. Big Show's pokers are less noticeable than Kurt's pokers, except when he's the Showster.

4. Big Show was on SNL.

5. Big Show's wife has bigger breasts than Kurt Angle's wife.

6. Kurt won a gold medal with a broken freakin' neck, but Show fell off a roof and survived.

7. Big Show had his own monster truck in WCW, Kurt had a mooter scooter.

8. Big Show is 7", Kurt is a midget.

9. Big Show is not affected by Stacker 2.

10. Big Show is a swank dresser outside of the ring.

11. Big Show has never worn a thong underneath his singlet.

12. Big Show weighs as much as 2 Kurt Angles.

13. Big Show main evented a WrestleMania long before Kurt Angle did, and they both debuted in 1999.

14. Big Show exposed himself to a female hotel employee, Kurt Angle is a boring model citizen.

15. Big Show once broke a heckling fan's jaw in a hotel lobby.

16. Big Show has a fumanchu.

17. Big Show can throw a missile dropkick when he feels like it.

18. Kurt Angle made it to the top of WWE by being an amazing athlete and busting his ass, Big Show made it to the top of WWE by being a lazy, out-of-shape slob.

19. Big Show has hands the size of catcher's mitts.

20. Big Show is a former Hardcore champion, a title that Kurt Angle has never held.

21. Kurt Angle cries like a baby all the time, Show only cries when Shane belittles him.

22. Big Show has pinned and defeated Brock Lesnar, but Kurt Angle couldn't get the job done.

23. Big Show has wrestled Bret Hart.

24. Big Show was secure enough in his spot and abilities to sell for Nathan Jones.

25. Big Show does a cool double flying clothesline.

26. Big Show swinging Rey Mysterio like a wiffleball bat was one of the coolest spots ever.

27. Rey Mysterio has pinned Kurt Angle, but he's never come close to pinning Big Show.

28. Big Show was in the nWo, Dungeon of Doom AND the Corporation...Kurt Angle was only in Team (pfft) Angle.

29. Big Show has broken the ring more times than Kurt Angle has broken his neck.

30. Big Show doesn't wear pinstripes.

31. Big Show's Shopzone T-shirts are Bad-Ass Black, not Gay Grey.

32. Big Show beat Hulk Hogan 7 years before Kurt Angle did.

33. Kurt Angle has never been billed as Andre The Giant's son.

34. Big Show once tore down the TitanTron.

35. Big Show's theme is original, Kurt Angle stole his from Del Wilkes.

36. Big Show wears a much larger size boot than Kurt Angle.

37. Kurt Angle broke Bob Holly's arm, but Big Show flipped a car on top of him.

38. Kurt Angle has never gotten a WWE Royal Rumble Push © TM. Big Show gets one every year.

39. Big Show's Chef Boyardee commercials are funnier than Kurt Angle's Smackdown! for PS2 commercials.

40. Big Show has more victories over The Rock than Kurt Angle.

41. Big Show has defeated HHH for the WWE championship.

42. Big Show has never been shaved bald by Edge.

43. Big Show trained at the Power Plant.

44. Big Show is very big, and WWE owner Vince McMahon loves big men.

45. J.R. has called Big Show a "son of a bitch" and a "bastard" many times, but he's never called Kurt Angle that. Big Show is a superior heel.

46. Big Show wasn't squashed by Undertaker in his first main event.

47. Big Show doesn't get punked by Taker, he punks Taker out.

48. Kurt Angle has to pull down 2 straps, Big Show only has to pull down 1.

49. Kurt Angle wears gold medals to the ring, but Big Show once wore a sweet and very expensive looking gold chain to the ring. What.

50. He's real big.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

I could discredit all fifty of those but instead I will elect to say

 

How about 50 reasons why this concept is overdone.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Big Show probably has a bigger penis.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Ah, but that can be discredited, as Val Venis viewed Paul's pecker (points for those alliterations please) and replied "heh, and they call you the BIG show?"

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Big Show's penis is Val Venis (points for rhyme please).

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Big Show's penis is Val Venis (points for rhyme please).

No points awarded because the Venis-penis rhyme was intended by Russo and is not a product of your rapier-sharp wit.

 

 

Points for shooting down a points request, please.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Everyone gave you 6.5 expect for Russia.

[Guest Dangerous A]

I am waiting for the 50 reasons Gewirtz is a better writer than Heyman list.

[Guest Anglesault]

11. Big Show has never worn a thong underneath his singlet.

17. Big Show can throw a missile dropkick when he feels like it.

20. Big Show is a former Hardcore champion, a title that Kurt Angle has never held.

22. Big Show has pinned and defeated Brock Lesnar, but Kurt Angle couldn't get the job done.

11: He's worn one over it.

 

17: So can Kurt

 

22: False

 

22:False.

 

Just saying

[Guest wrestlingbs]

5. Big Show's wife has bigger breasts than Kurt Angle's wife.

Dude, Kurt Angle's wife is a former stripper. She may not have the biggest breasts, but she's HOT.

[Guest AndrewTS]

I've never seen Big Show's wife, but Big Show himself has bigger breasts than Kurt Angle's wife.

 

Big Show can eat more than Kurt Angle.

 

Big Show never does anything more complicated than a chokeslam in the ring, and when he takes a bump it's a special occasion. Hence, he's injured far less than Kurt Angle.

 

Big Show has a ten year contract.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Big Show ate his wife ................................................................................

........................................................................... out.

[Guest Polish_Rifle]

18. Kurt Angle made it to the top of WWE by being an amazing athlete and busting his ass, Big Show made it to the top of WWE by being a lazy, out-of-shape slob.

 

OMG, he's right!

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Big Show's never been in a **** match. Kurt has tons of 'em.

 

That alone makes Show 10... no 20 times better than Kurt.

 

Or how about: When Kurt's music hits, chants of "You suck" can be heard throughout the arena. When Show's music hits, the crowd is in awe.

 

Man, Big Show IS great.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

I am waiting for the 50 reasons Gewirtz is a better writer than Heyman list.

okay

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Big Show's father got an on-air burial.

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Big Show is a shorter name than Kurt Angle. Thus taking fewer letters to instill fear into the hearts of everyone.

 

Kurt Angle doesn't instill fear into the heart of anyone.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Big Show has shrunk in height, but is still fucking tall.

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

When are getting '50 reasons why HHH > the IWC'?

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Big Show was in WcW.

[Guest godthedog]

Big Show can eat more than Kurt Angle.

small correction: big show can eat kurt angle.

[Guest undisputedjericho]

20. Big Show is a former Hardcore champion, a title that Kurt Angle has never held.

During the Invasion and the days of 24/7, he beat RVD for it on the stage, then Austin threw them both off the stage and RVD pinned him to win it back.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

This list is actually funny....unlike the Benoit one.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

During the Invasion and the days of 24/7, he beat RVD for it on the stage, then Austin threw them both off the stage and RVD pinned him to win it back.

 

He's right, ya know. God Love Austin.

[Adam 0]

Yeah, I knew he had won the Hardcore title. These lists won't beat Bossman > Goldberg in a hurry though, but still really funny.