SJL Metal for Tuesday, July 8th 2003

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Frost's a bookin' and Z's a grinnin'.

 

SJL Metal for Tuesday, July 8th 2003

Due Time: Tuesday, July 8th at 6 p.m. est

Send all promos, marked matches, booking requests and other goodies to: Longdogger_Pete (and don’t forget that Wrathapalooza is the next show!)

Venue: The Toilet in Oxnard, California (home of Hot Shit Wrestling, because I need the extra revenue to pay Ahmed Johnson’s food bills. Just think of the ECW bingo hall, but crappier.)

 

SIX MAN BATTLE ROYALE FOR A NEW CAR!

Tokyo X vs. Dominic Korgath vs Doug Sienkenwicz vs. Craig McLennan vs. "The Extreme Solution" Jonathan Clarke vs. “Carless” Mark Jindrak

Description: Commissioner Raynor is very pleased at the influx of new talent the JL has received recently. In order to allow himself and the loyal JL fan base to acquaint themselves with the n00bs better he has decided to allow them to showcase their wares in the staple of lazy bookers everywhere, the dreaded battle royale! As an extra bonus, the winner of this battle royale will be presented with a brand new 2004 Buick Rendezvous Ultra, fully loaded by the commissioner in a ceremony at Wrathapalooza! Hold on…did someone say new car! Well, I’ve got a buddy from the HSW who could sure use one of those! Let’s give him a shot too!

Rules: All five men start in the ring at the same time. One is eliminated when they go over the top rope and touch the outside floor with both feet. If a man goes through or under the ropes to the floor they will have a referee’s count of ten to reenter the ring or be eliminated. Disqualifications are also in effect and will result in an elimination. No pinfalls or submissions.

NOTE: The winner of this match will be held responsible for writing a promo for Wrathapalooza covering their receiving of the new car. It is my hope that you would use this opportunity to start a feud with one of your fellow writers.

NOTE 2: Jindrak is just there to round things out. If you are not aware of him, just treat him as your generic wrestler who’s a clueless putz. His gimmick is the fact that he doesn’t own a car and must walk or bum rides everywhere. His theme music is “Free Ride” by The Edgar Winter Group.

World Limit: 4000

Send to: WrestlingDeacon (I guess I’ll bite the bullet since I booked it)

 

I’LL CONK YOU CONKLIN SINGLES MATCH

Danny Conklin vs. Todd Royal

Description: Todd Royal might have claimed the number one contendership to the T.V. Title on Crimson, but it seems there was someone already ahead of him in that line. Royal isn’t too happy with that, so let me tick him off more by squaring him off with another big winner from Crimson and one of the few faces on the roster. Conklin looked impressive in his triple threat hardcore match and a win against the number one contender for the T.V. Title might put him in line for a shot down the road as well.

Rules: Standard Singles match. DQ’s and countouts are in effect. May win by pinfall submission, DQ or countout.

World Limit: 3500

Send to: Kibagami

 

HAVE AT YOU SCURVY KNAVE SINGLES MATCH FOR THE SJL T.V. TITLE

Shawn Tybalt vs. English Dragon

Description: English Dragon has returned from…uh…England, where….uh….he was…slaying dragons or something. He’s fit, rested and ready to cash in his previously won T.V. Title contest versus new champ Shawn Tybalt. There is no rest for the wicked or the Shakespearen inclined. If I had but your inches I would show you that there was a heart in Egypt.

Rules: Standard singles match. DQ’s and countouts are in effect. May win by pinfall submission, DQ or countout.

Word Limit: 4000

Send to: Powerplay

 

HEY I’VE GOT THREE GUYS LEFTOVER TRIPLE THREAT MATCH

Michael D. Lockwood vs. Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs. Manson

Description: Lockwod picked up a win in his debut on Crimson, while Liston suffered a crushing defeat at the hands of Todd Royal and Manson just sat in the corner and played with string. All three of these men are at different crossroads in their SJL careers and a win here will put one of them on the right path.

Rules: All three men are allowed in the ring at the same time. First pinfall or submission wins. DQ’s and countouts are in effect, but will act like an elimination and the other two grapplers will continue on without the third.

World Limit: 4500

Send to: Tod deKindes

 

BEING FROM EAST ST. LOUIS IS A SIN IF I EVER HEARD ONE SINGLES MATCH

“The Sinner” John Duran vs. Scott Solomon

Description: Scott Solomon came within a hair’s breadth of winning another shot at the European Title on Crimson, but fell to Viktor Tarakanov, allowing him a World Title shot. On the same show, Duran barely lost his chance at the World Title by falling to Aecas. Solomon made one World Title contender, while Duran made the other. Who can pull out the win here and get back on track for SJL gold?

Rules: Standard singles match. DQ’s and countouts are in effect. May win by pinfall submission, DQ or countout.

World Limit: 4500

Send to: Thoth

 

WEAPON OF CHOICE MATCH

“Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. “Canadian Thunder” Chris Trepanier

Description: The fans don’t seem to like Treapnier because he’s a cocky Canadian, while they seem to hate Jenkins because he’s a cocky douchetard. How to give the fans something to root for when these two square off? Well, just guarantee a lot of humor, weapons and blood!

Rules: There are two tables set up on the entrance stage to the right of the wrestlers as they walk out from the back.

 

Table A contains:

A steel folding chair

A four and a half foot folding step ladder

A heavy six foot long steel dog chain

A wooden baseball bat

An aluminum trash can

 

Table B contains:

A fire extinguisher

A six foot rubber dinosaur

A Garden Weasel

A two man kayak

A milk crate full of Pat Boone albums

 

Each man may select one item from each table to carry to the ring and use in the match. The use of their opponent’s weapons or any other foreign objects will result in a DQ. Countouts are not in effect, but all pinfalls must take place in the ring. Must win by pinfall or submission.

Word Limit: 5000

Send to: realitycheck

 

 

TAG TEAM MATCH TO STALL TITLE SHOTS AND LOOK LIKE A BIG MAIN EVENT

Charlie “The Grappler” Matthews and Leo Breslin vs. Viktor Tarakanov and Tim Dillon

Description: Both of the SJL’s top champions have formidable challenges looming their way for Wrathapalooza, but that doesn’t mean that there aren't other challenges lying beyond. Tarakanov won a World Title match (to be cashed in after Wrathapalooza) on this past Crimson, while Tim Dillon and Leo Breslin didn’t make the best of tag team partners. Accidentally smacking your partner with the European Title will do that. Let’s see if Dillon and Breslin fair better with their new buddies.

Rules: Standard tag match. DQ’s and countouts are in effect. A team may win by pinfall, submission, countout or DQ. Only one man is allowed in the ring at one time while his partner stands on the apron with his hand on the tag rope in order to make the legal tag.

Word Limit: 5500

Send to: Longdogger_Pete

Edited July 4, 2003 by WrestlingDeacon

[Guest realitycheck]

The Toilet? A cameo by "Carless" Mark Jindrak? This may be the best card ever. Good stuff, Frost.

 

-Z

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Comedy match. (Y)

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Be gone from my username, vile _ mark.

 

Mods? Anyone?

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Wait, Michael Lockwood. Isn't that Crash Holly's real name?

 

http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/new...hp?news_id=7017

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Fixed, Tod. That was the way your name was given to me on the marker roster.

 

And Michael Lockwood thing has been noted. Curiouser and Curiouser.

[Guest Mr. Slim Citrus]

I'm sure "Lockwood" is a common name... Haven't you ever heard of the Chappaqua Lockwoods?

[Guest Space_Cowboy]

“Carless” Mark Jindrak for JL Champ~!

[Guest ShooterJay]

Just clearing this up:

 

I AM NOT, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN, CRASH HOLLY.

 

"Michael D." is my brother's name. "Lockwood" is the last name of the character Windsor Horne-Lockwood III in Harlan Coben's Myron Bolitar book series. Michael Lockwood is supposed to be the evil bastard son of the Win Lockwood character in the books- hence the "Win's Credo" finisher.

 

"Chappaqua, NY" is a suburb near Great Neck, NY-where my friend Stacy lives. She's model gorgeous, dating a Harvard med student, her dad is a famous cardiologist and she lives in a mansion- so the hometown represents "perfection" so to speak.

 

There, the complete origins and explanation of "Michael D. Lockwood."

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

I AM NOT, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN, CRASH HOLLY.

Sure your not....

[thuganomics 0]

eerie... Crash just randomly got put together... craziness. (I still think you need to steal the Styles Clash for your finisher... you could call it the D-Struction or something... it'd be great!)

[Guest The Extreme Solution]

not booked again? man what do I have to do to get a match, I can't suck that much? Actually before you guys I start throwing out the insults I suck more than a $2 hooker... happy now? I admitted it ... so if anyone reads this, please book me in some matches I've had one match in 4 weeks ant that was a co-write to job... thanks

[Guest Thoth]

Put him in the battle royal!

[Guest Evolution]

Well, the opponent is right, but the stipulations are all wrong.

 

Good card nonetheless, Frost.

[Guest Crowe]

not booked again? man what do I have to do to get a match, I can't suck that much?

Send a prviate message to Longdogger Pete, requesting any kind of match for the next show.... the big show.

[Guest The Superstar]

I must say that this card is the greatest thing ever. Too bad the main event has to be vanilla

[Guest DawnBTVS]

Looks to be an awesome card, can't wait to see how Todd writes our match

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Clarke, you were not on the active roster that Z sent me. I would pm him to let him know that you are active, and pm Pete as well asking for a specific match for the next show. I will add you to the battle royale. So, now it's a six man.

 

Z told me to go light on the gimmick as Wrathapalooza is coming and will be very heavy on gimmicks. That's why there is only one real crazy gimmick match and a couple light ones like the battle royale and triple threat.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

You know, I would usually complain that Zed let Frost book instead of me... but... wow, what a card.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Sigh. One hour past the due time. And I got no match, not even from Crash Holly.

 

I'm willing to give an extension till about 10:30-11:00 PM eastern, when I'll be back online.

[Guest The Superstar]

::Crwod Booz::

 

As long as Pete doesn't wait till then to post the show ^ _ ^

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

It'll be in soon enough.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Crash D Lockwood has told me that he has no intention to write due to OAOAST/Real Life burnout...

 

sorry bros.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

I have no intention of waiting that long for Tod's match. If he has received no matches and no extension requests by deadline, that sure looks to me like a triple no show. Unfortunately.

 

Fortunately, I have both main event matches. w00t!

 

I'm hoping the Wrathapalooza card won't be released really late, but I really can't start booking until I have the result of the TV title match and the battle royal. So, markers, do your stuff.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

I don't care when the card is going to be released...cause I know it's gonna RULE

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Update! While Pete doesn't seem to be anywhere near his computer, Manson's match has been forwarded to him.