New Steven Seagal straight to video movie

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Yay. Seagal's career has finally flopped low enough that his new movies are direct to video with really stupid names..

 

The AICN review sums things up nicely..

 

With that in mind... what do you call it when you're not really OUT FOR JUSTICE, and you've already said you were HARD TO KILL, and you want to come up with something else to call yourself? Well, how about OUT FOR A KILL? That is in fact the name of the new picture.

 

You *are* home. I was gonna ask you some questions about buddhism earlier but I couldn't find you. "Oh yeah, I just stepped OUT FOR A KILL for a minute."

 

But the title isn't the best part..

 

Seagal plays Professor Robert Burns. No, not the brilliant art director of TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE and THE HILLS HAVE EYES. This Robert Burns is a professor of Chinese archaeology at Yale. Early in the movie he is given an award by the college and introduced as Yale's "most distinguished academician". (I wonder if he knows George Bush?) Soon we see him in China digging up ancient relics and explaining what they are to his lovely young asian assistant. When a thug disguised as a Beijing University archaeologist steps on an ancient relic and crushes it like a Dorito, Professor Burns just asks, "What's up with this guy?"

 

So hes playing a "distinguised academian" professor from Yale, and he gets pissed off because a thug steps on an ancient Chinese relic, and he shows hes pissed by spitting off a classic Seagal one liner.

 

MY GOD I'VE GOT TO LOOK LIKE A LOSER AND RENT THIS THE DAY IT COMES OUT AT BLOCKBUSTER (8/19)! THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR, MAYBE EVEN EVER!*

 

AICN Full review with spoilers..

 

*-If you don't note the intense sarcasm, then well, now you do..

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Didn't I see a Stallone movie that was straight-to-video at HollyWood Video one time? I think it was.

[Guest Lethargic]

This is Seagal's third direct to video movie. It's nothing new. Stallone has had two back to back direct to video movies with D-Tox and Avenging Angelo.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Didn't I see a Stallone movie that was straight-to-video at HollyWood Video one time? I think it was.

Eye See You, or one of the two that Lethargic mentioned..

 

And Stallone hasn't had a decent box office movie in a while. Seagal had Exit Wounds 2 years ago which did fairly well ($57 million), but I think Half Past Dead knocked him back a lot ($15 million).

 

I hate him because my mother used to watch his movies 2 and 3 times a week (she would always manage to find em whenever they were on TBS or something like that).. and after you've seen the same boring movie about 8 ways some 80 million times, it gets rather annoying..

Edited July 5, 2003 by MarvinisaLunatic

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

How the mighty have fallen. Van Damme, Segal, Stallone. Who's next?

[Guest Vern Gagne]

Stallone is the villian in the new Spy Kids 3 movie. It's not much but it will probably make a decent amount at the box office.

 

He also wants to make a movie about the murder investigation of Biggie and Tu Pac.

[Guest Downhome]

Stallone is the villian in the new Spy Kids 3 movie. It's not much but it will probably make a decent amount at the box office.

 

He also wants to make a movie about the murder investigation of Biggie and Tu Pac.

Is the new Rocky movie still in the works?