OAOAST IntenseZone - 7/7/03

[Guest ShooterJay]

*BOOM, BA BOOM, BOOM DA BOOM BOOMB, BOOM B-B-B-B-BOOM DA BOOM BOOM!*

 

That's the sound of PYRO~!, and the crowd is going INSANE for this week's late edition of the top brand in professional e-fed wrestling, OAOAST INTENSEZONE~!

 

JR: The heat has been scorching, and so is OAOAST IntenseZone! I'm Jim Ross alongside Jesse Ventura, and tonight will likely go down as one of the most brutal episodes in the history of this fine show! Masked Mystery Eskimo, badly injured by Jailbait at Great Angle Bash, tries to fight through the pain against deadly Edward Robbins!

 

Jesse: Each week brings us closer to Eskimo's inevitable doom, and I say it's about time! I'm sick of that masked freak!

 

JR: In what should set a new standard for stiff and violent, the Banky killer, the crippler himself Dangerous A has challenged the demented leader of the Trinity, Stephen Joseph! Jesse, I've got a feeling that Joseph has bit off more than he can chew!

 

Jesse: It doesn't matter how much training Dangerous A has had and how many bones he's broken, Stephen Joseph has powers far beyond mortal man! He WILL overcome!

 

JR: We also have a North American title defense, more on the Blurricane's strange situation, and Featured Attraction will be in full force! Don't miss a minute!

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

"Get on Top" blares through the arena as Featured Attraction make their way through the curtain to a big pop. Shooter Jay holds his now unified North American and Puerto Rican titles over his shoulders as Sonic Youth fires up the crowd.

 

JR:

Last Sunday at the Bash, Featured Attraction won a tag scramble to become the number one contenders to the Trinity’s tag team championships, but on HeldDOWN this past Thursday, the Dream Machines threw a monkey wrench into that by also declaring their desire for a title shot.

 

JESSE:

Hey, they had some good points to justify that. They were supposed to meet on Aggression since the Machines had a compromise, but it was preempted by the National Two-Man Pallbearing Championships, so we don’t know what’s gonna happen now.

 

Jay and Sonic slide into the ring and Sonic hops onto the turnbuckles, flashing his crucifix pose for the cameras while Jay lifts his belts high for all to see. The music dies down and Jay grabs a mic.

 

SHOOTER:

You know, it’s too bad that Aggression didn’t take place this past weekend. We would have loved to talk it out with those two HeldDOWN punks. I can’t believe that they would use two month old footage and a brawl against a couple of shills to justify getting a World Tag Team title shot. Where do they get off...

 

“California Love!”

 

JR:

WAIT!! ARE THEY HERE??!!

 

The crowd gives a surprise pop as California Love starts and looks towards the entrance. No one appears right away and the crowd seems confused, but the Tron flashes to life and shows Parka and Knight standing in front of a large HeldDOWN logo.

 

PARKA:

Hi boys, so this is what being on IntenseZone is like? PK and I feel honored to be on this fine show. Well, ok, we aren’t in the ring with you, but at least we can have a little chat.

 

SHOOTER:

Cut the pleasantries. What exactly do you want to talk to us about?

 

PARKA:

Alright, fine. We want to talk about this little dispute between us regarding the number one contendership…..

 

SHOOTER:

What dispute? We won the tag scramble at GAB and therefore, we’re the number one contenders. It’s as simple as that.

 

PARKA:

Wait a minute. We talked to Commissioner Moysey before HD last week and he said we have a perfectly acceptable case for the #1 contendership. We showed the footage, we beat TE, we deserve a shot.

 

SHOOTER:

If you two were so hell bent on the tag team gold, why didn’t you enter yourselves into that scramble instead of playing around with glass with those corporate whores over some stupid little spat?

 

PK:

And your issue with Puerto Rican Lightning was? Hey Parka, help me out here (Parka makes an act out of thinking and shrugging his shoulders) And correct me if I’m wrong, but we didn’t see YOU in that match either. You let your partner go at it alone.

 

YOUTH:

Hey. Jay did that because he had faith in me to do the job done. He knew I had the skills to take on those two teams and our plan worked out perfectly.

 

SHOOTER:

That’s right. You see, Featured Attraction does whatever it can to get to the top, to become two of the biggest and brightest stars in the OaOast. You lowlifes are more concerned with cutting people up, driving your Camino, blasting music, and hanging around with that 40 year old Robbie Shankar wannabe.

 

The crowd “ohhhhhs” at that and Parka begins to lose his cool, but is restrained by his partner.

 

PARKA:

All right, enough talk! Let’s get to what we wanted to discuss with you. We have a problem regarding the contendership? Let’s settle it in the best way possible. This Saturday on Aggression, and we hope the show actually takes place this time, how about we have a little match: Featured Attraction vs. the Dream Machines. Winner becomes the true number one contenders for the OaOast Tag Team championships!!

 

The crowd pops at the announcement.

 

JR:

Oh my! Whatta Slobberknocker for Aggression!!

 

JESSE:

This is a PPV quality match, why waste it on some two bit B-show?

 

FA huddle for a bit and talk it over. Jay grabs his mic.

 

SHOOTER:

We accept. (Crowd pops huge) Saturday, one team will go on and one team will go back to their show to brawl at department stores. Let’s hope you two are ready, because you would be DAMN sure that we will be.

 

PARKA:

Too bad we can’t shake to seal it, but we trust you guys to show up for the fight of your life.

 

JESSE:

There it is, JR. Saturday on Aggression, IT’S ON!!

 

JR:

BAH GAWD, what a match for that show!! You gotta tune in this Saturday to Aggression for this one!!

 

Jesse: The Dream Machines have just crashed IntenseZone! Say it JR, business, IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!

 

[Commercial]

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

(Jesse receives a note from a member of the production staff.)

 

Jesse: Hey JR, look at this!

 

(JR reads the note and his eyes BUG OUT!)

 

JR: WHAT THE HELL? Ladies and gentleman, in an effort to finally unraveling the mystery behind the Blurricane, a mysterious figure known only as "Father" has invited the OAOAST cameras to an undisclosed location, where he's holding the Blurricane RIGHT NOW! TAKE A LOOK!

 

(The scene opens in an old house. Bizarro can be seen leading Blurricane through the halls. Blurricane's hands are tied behind his back as he walks. He looks down at the ground, never looking up as they enter a room. Inside the room is a large oak desk with a nice leather chair behind it. The chair is turned around so we cannot see who is sitting in it. Bizarro and Blurricane sit in two chairs in front of the desk.)

 

BIZARRO

Father I have returned.

 

FATHER

Did you bring him with you?

 

BIZARRO

Yes father. Here he is.

 

(The chair turns around and in it sits an old white haired man with a full beard. The man is dressed in a nice three piece suit.)

 

FATHER

Welcome home Number 13. I realize you must be a little confused, but all will be made clear shortly. Untie him!

 

(Bizarro unties Blurricane and tosses the rope aside.)

 

FATHER

Let us not mince words. I'll get right to the point and tell you who you are. My son was a wrestler. He was very good at it too. He was quite the athelete and a good man, but he was in an accident in the ring. His neck was broken and he died. I loved my son and so did everyone who ever met him. I knew that his legacy needed to live on. I couldn't bare the loss of my son so I had him cloned. I know this is hard to believe, but cloning has been going on even though the world believes it has not. I am a scientist and I believe that cloning is our future. The first clone of my son was a failure. So I made another one and this time I enhanced it.

 

BLURRICANE

Enhanced?

 

FATHER

Yes! I genetically altered the clone to be an even more incredible athelete. Of course there were more failures. I had to break a few eggs along the way and some clones turned out wrong. Those clones were retrained mentally and sent out to work and make money to fund this project. Once I achieved what I thought was a success I used that method to make more and put them to use in different types of sports. Soon my clones were in demand! Every sport you can think of has one of my clones playing in it. Of course if these clones were super strong it would raise controversy. I only increased their natural abilities and made them cardio machines who would never become winded. To keep them apart each clone is given plastic surgery to have it's own individual face. I found wrestling to be the most fun because I could create gimmicks. Not only would my clones be super atheletes, but they would be super entertainers too.

 

BLURRICANE

This....can't be true.

 

FATHER

It is true. Each wrestling clone is mentally trained to believe they are a wrestler and a normal human being so that there will be no troubles. We even supply fake memories so that the clones do not get out of line. We incorporate them into society and let them live as normal people. We check on them through hidden cameras in the houses to make sure everything is going smoothly. The failures are trained to belive that they work for me as servants. You however wandered off from the house before you could be retrained mentally to be a servant. Next thing I know you're trying out for the OAOAST!

 

BLURRICANE

Why didn't you just let me be?

 

FATHER

You were supposed to be an improvement on the other attempts, but you had flaws! So I chose Number 14 here to take your place. He is an improvement on you. He does not have the flaws that you have. He was supposed to get the OAOAST contract, but you got a hold of it and went out to perform your duty. So I sent Number 14 to replace you and bring you back home. I explained to Number 14 that he was a clone. It took some time for him to fully understand as it will for you. That is why I couldn't immediately send him, but once he understood he knew that he had to take your place.

 

BLURRICANE

I don't believe this. None of this is true! I have memories. They feel real!

 

FATHER

They are all memories created to make your character come to life. None of them are real. You were raised here at the house by me and mentally trained to believe you are this person.

 

BLURRICANE

You mean you brainwashed me? What kind of man are you?

 

FATHER

I am a visionary. Soon my techniques will be used to fix flaws in people. To make them what they've always wanted to be. My son always wanted to be a better athelete. He would be happy I found a way for that to happen for others.

 

BLURRICANE

How did you convince the OAOAST to hire one of these "clones"?

 

FATHER

As I said before wrestling is my favorite when it comes to making clones. It was my son's life and so wrestling is the perfect place for a living tribute to my son. The officials of the OAOAST understood that and after a few demonstrations of the abilities of my clones they realized that they could be used. The reason there are few clones in wrestling is because I would never exploit the business my son was in. It took a lot of convincing before they finally agreed to give it a try.

 

BLURRICANE

I still do not believe you. This is all a lie.

 

FATHER

Maybe this will convince you. (He makes a motion to Bizarro and Bizarro takes off his mask) You see...you both have the same exact face. All my wrestling clones have this face because it was my son's face.

 

BLURRICANE

That doesn't mean he's a clone.

 

(Father presses a button on his desk and a screen behind him turns on to show a lab. In the lab are other clones. He presses another button and the screen shows the failed wrestling clones doing various chores around the house. Each one looks just like Blurricane)

 

FATHER

Is that enough to convince you?

 

(Blurricane slumps over in his seat and begins to cry.)

 

BLURRICANE

What does this mean? Do I stay here for the rest of my life?

 

FATHER

The only way I could convince the OAOAST to make the trade is to have a match between the two of you. Knowing that Number 14, or Bizarro Blurricane as he will be known in the wrestling world, is the better clone assures me that you will be coming home. (He turns to Bizarro) Take him away. He can live his "normal" life out for a few more days, but after next week he will be coming home.

 

(Bizarro then leads Blurricane out of the room. As they leave the butler comes in and helps Father into a wheelchair. Father wheels himself to the window and looks outside. He grins as we fade to black.)

 

 

 

JR: I'm just in shock...we need a break.

 

[Commercial]

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

We return from commercial to a video shot earlier today. Mystery Eskimo gets out of his Eskimobile at the gym onto crutches, followed by Derek the Fish.

 

Eskimo:...look, I need to work out to keep my strength up. With this injury I could be out for months.

Derek: Its your own fault for having that stupid match last week! I wanna go pick up girls!

Eskimo: Just come on. There'll be girls in the gym.

Derek: (brightening) Sweet!

 

Eskimo is half way towards the gym entrance when a man gets out of a car nearby and strides over to Eskimo.

 

Man: Hey! You're Mystery Eskimo!

Eskimo: Yeah, how ya doing?

Man: You're scum!

Eskimo: Whaaaaaat?

Man: I heard all about it! You beat women!

Eskimo: No no no- Y2Jailbait said that! It was just to get under my skin!

Man: Oh, so you're a liar too!

Eskimo: I'm not- I'd never- Derek, tell him! Derek?

 

Derek the Fish is back in the Eskimobile, eating chicken nuggets and headbanging to Queen.

 

Man: I have a wife and daughters! Men like you make me sick!

Eskimo: You've got it all wrong!

 

Other people notice the commotion and begin to walk over. A crowd develops around Eskimo.

 

Man: What do you say, people? Shall we teach this bastard a lesson?

 

The crowd rumbles in assent, and several men take steps forward.

 

Eskimo: This is crazy! How can you believe that Jailbait over me?

Man: We don't know anything about you! You're just some freak in a mask! Get him boys!

 

The men charge forwards! Eskimo drops his crutches and tries to assume a fighting stance, but almost falls to the ground on his bad leg.

 

Suddenly, the crowd is scattered as the Eskimobile sweeps forwards. Derek opens the door and beckons Eskimo, who crawls in as quickly as he can.

 

The Eskimobile speeds off, leaving the crowd furious.

 

Eskimo: (gasping) What's happening, Derek? The people hate me!

Derek: Mud sticks, Eski. Right now they have more respect for Jailbait then they do for you.

Eskimo: That bastard. Turn the car around, Derek.

Derek: Aren't you wondering how I can drive?

Eskimo: Lets not open that can of worms. Turn around and head to IntenseZone...Jailbait isn't going to get away with this...

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

JR: We are heading to the ring right now to hear from newcomer Dangerous A. Jesse, what a hell of a North American title match he and Shooter Jay had last week.

 

Jesse: That match had more fireworks going on than this past 4th of July, JR. I really think Dangerous A is going to make a big impression here in the OAOAST before it's all said and done.

 

 

"Mr Brownstone" blares from the speaker as a new Angletron video showing Dangerous A kicking all types of ass in Japan as well as highlights of his OAOAST matches. DA is alone coming to the ring.

 

Dangerous A hits the ring to an ovation. DA bows to the crowd in response to the reaction he was given. DA is given a mic.

 

DA: *Arigatoo* (japanese for thank you)

 

Crowd applauds politely.

 

DA: First, I want to thank Shooter Jay for the match he gave me last week. We fought our hearts out and Jay was the better man. I take my hat off to you and look forward to another day where I can take you to the limit again and challenge for that North American title. Also, if you need a partner Jay, don't be shy about calling DA. I'll be there to back you up.

 

Another thing I wanted to address was something that has bugged me since I've come here to the OAOAST. While I was watching IZ waiting for a response from Banky's people on a match, I saw some individuals that disgusted me with the way they carry themselves.

 

JR: That could be any number of folks here.

 

Jesse: Would you let the man say his piece? It's not like he insn't going to tell us in the next 10 seconds.

 

DA: You see despite being from Japan, I was raised as a Christian. My wife and I raise my son that way as well. While I don't wear my Christianity on my sleeve as I've seen some people, I do have pride in being a Christian. There are some people who take that pride I have and twist it into something sick and perverted and they use it to control how things go here in the OAOAST.

 

Jesse: He'd better not be talking about who I think he might be talking about.

 

DA: Those people are THE TRINITY!

 

JR: Whoa there, newbie. Have you been watching the programs DA? You say things about those 3 in public. Sick and evil things follow when people do that.

 

Jesse: DA may have opened up a career pandora's box with this one.

 

DA: You see, it's not sick enough that none of you fight fairly or that you people are borderline psychotic's. It's that you've patterned yourselves after Bible teachings and named yourselves something sacred to all Christians, the Trinity. Of all the things. You come out here and portray yourselves as ever loving Christians when you are the furthest from them. I've seen examples of your "purity through pain" campaigns and they make me want to throw up! The site of you 3 is blasphemous. I noticed how you can't get anything done without one another. Stephen Joseph gets Zack Malibu in a match one on one on ppv and what happens? He loses. Ed gets SP and supernatural forces come to light to help Ed get a win that was all SP's for the taking. Now I am not the paragon of virtue here. I've done some screwed up things in my career and my life. However, I never made a mockery of my faith while I did them!

 

JR: Wow, you go tell it on a mountain, Dangerous A!

 

Stephen Joseph's music starts to blare from the speakers!

 

Jesse: Look out folks! I think Stephen Joseph is going to set DA straight.

 

Stephen Joseph is by himself. He stands at the entrance way looking at DA in the ring. He appears to be mad, but not in a rage.

 

SJ: Dangerous A. I can't say that it is a pleasure meeting you, seeing as though you are calling me out about the way I do business with the Trinity.

 

DA: It shouldn't be a pleasure, hypocrite! Your a piece of shit, and so are those 2 psycho's of yours, Ed and Jacob!

 

SJ: Now hold on there just one minute! How dare you speak to me in that tone, boy! You call me a hypocrite? Look at yourself. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. You probrably wouldn't know a thing about that. You claim the Trinity doesn't play fair yet you had your own son "assist" you in your debut against Banky, a man you maimed! He may not be able to eat correctly ever again.

 

Jesse: That's true. I've talked to Banky's doctors and they say he'll never fully recover from that match.

 

SJ: You dare question the values of Stephen Joseph and the Trinity?! Yet you are the one who is clearly the hypocrite. Along with your questioning the Trinity's true values, you now qualify for "purity through pain"

 

JR: Dangerous A may have dug a grave here.

 

SJ: Although I am not at one hundred percent due to the casket match, I have no choice but to defend the honor and integrity of The Trinity. Tonight, Dangerous A, you will suffer! Tonight, you will feel anguish like no other! TONIGHT, YOU WILL BE PURIFIED, BY NONE OTHER THAN STEPHEN JOSEPH!!!!!!!

 

DA: That's a lot of tough preacher man talk, Mr Joseph. You better put the preacher man back in the closet and get the wrestler out because tonight, you feel the wrath of the Scourge of the Orient!!!

 

JR: Bah Gawd, Jesse, Dangerous A and Stephen Joseph are gonna get it on tonight!

 

Jesse: What the hell is Dangerous A doing? He can kick ass, but this is Stephen Joseph and the Trinity he's dealing with. This newbie may have bitten off more than he can chew here!

 

[break]

 

-----

 

**The arena goes dark for a moment as “Live For The Moment” by Darwin's Waiting Room EXPLODES and lighting strikes the entranceway as The Shocker appears with a smile on his face, holding the Spider Poet Mask.**

 

He walks to the ring, a spotlight shining down on his body as the fans go crazy for the returning superstar and the newest member of Featured Attraction. Shocker climbs into the ring and grabs a mic from a ringside attendant. He pushes his hair away from his face as the lights return to normal and he speaks.

 

Shocker: Lightning only takes a second to course through your veins, people…and a week or so ago at Great Angle Bash…in one second…you all were SHOCKED! Two weeks ago on this very program…you were ELECTRIFIED……by me…by The Shocker!

 

**The crowd eats this up**

 

I came out here in this mask…and I proceeded to deliver a clinic on exactly what it takes to turn up the voltage on any performance…showing off a display of athleticism that can only be known as “Indoor Fireworks”…and I’m sure all of you will become much more used to it over the course of the next few weeks.

 

If I can recall correctly…and I can…Featured Attraction won a number one contendership for the tag team championships…but if I ALSO recall…so did The Dream Machines during what I thought was a brutal…but not shocking…encounter with Totally Endorsed.

 

**Another pop**

 

So we have a bit of a problem now don’t we? Who gets first shot…well honestly…I don’t care…as long as I can come out here and SHOCK THE WORLD…and give my 220%…I’ll be a happy man…

 

Bring on the tag champions…bring on the world champions…bring on the chess champions….bring on the badminton champions…no matter who you put in front of me or Featured Attraction…in the end they will be shocked…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘nuff said.

 

**Shocker drops the mic and raises the mask in the air as the music begins to blare once more and he leaves, jumping over the barricade and walking through the crowd**

 

JR: The future looks bright for the Shocker Jesse Ventura!

 

Jesse: If Jay doesn't decide to push him aside! And Shocker returning is all well and good, but when are we going to get some WRESTLING?

 

JR: Right after commercial, because Eskimo vs. Edward Robbins is NEXT!

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

::"How I Could Just Kill a Man" hits as Jailbait makes his way to the ring. But just as he approaches the ring, Edward Robbins limps to the ring and nails Jailbait in the back of the head with the tag title belt!::

 

JR: "Both these men needed a week of after the brutal battles they were engaged in at the Great Angle Bash, especially Edward."

 

::Edward looks at the ref and tells him to ring the bell! Jailbait has the back of his head busted open and Edward slowly goes to work. But just as Edward looks away to show his distain for the crowd, Jailbait pulls a chain out of his pocket and nails Edward right on the head with a wrapped chain shot!::

 

Jesse: "These two men have no regard for the rules or the officials of OaOast, this is just an old' fashioned street brawl!"

JR: "This may get out of hand soon if no one comes out to stop this!"

 

::"Too Cold" hits and Mystery Eskimo limps to ringside with a chair in hand. Jailbait is enraged and calls Eskimo into the ring! Ed gets to his feet, but is bloodied as well on his forehead!::

 

JR: "Good god, it's a bloody mess in there, why isn't the ref stopping this contest?"

Jesse: "He enjoys a good brawl too JR, let em' go!"

 

::Ed nails Jailbait from behind with a neckbreaker. Eskimo gets on the ringapron gingerly, but Ed nails him with a stiff forearm. Ed picks up Jailbait and send him to the ropes and hits a massive lariat that sends Jailbait inside out! The blood is pouring off of Ed's face as he slams Jailbait down with a sitout powerbomb. Eskimo gets to his feet and grabs his chair that he brought with him to ringside. He gets on the apron. Ed sends Jailbait into the ropes, but Jailbait reverses and Ed runs into the chair that Eskimo was holding up!!!::

 

JR: "Eskimo accidently nailed Edward there! Eskimo is down in pain on the floor while Edward is out on the canvas."

 

::Jailbait goes up on the top rope and nails a frog splash and goes for the cover!::

 

1.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout By Robbins!!!!

 

::Jailbait goes up top again and nails ANOTHER FROG SPLASH!!! He goes for the cover!::

 

1.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout again!

 

::Jailbait nails the referee with the No Mas and proceeds to grab a chair. The wounded Eskimo is getting to his feet and runs at Jailbait. But Jailbait swings the chair and lays out Eskimo with a hellacious chair shot to his Leg!!::

 

JR: "That bastard! Eskimo's leg has to be shattered, how is he still walking??"

 

::Jailbait gets on his knees and taunts Eskimo. He yells "Get up Gimp" and hops around on one leg with a goofy look on his face. Ed takes advantage and leaps over the top rope and hits a plancha!! Ed is out, Jailbait is out and Eskimo cannot even stand!::

 

Jesse: "This is a war between these three. Who's gonna be left standing here? Someone get that woman-beater Eskimo out of here so these two can have an actual match!"

JR: "Jesse, don't start with that domestic abuse propaganda! You know Eskimo is innocent!"

Jesse: "He's guilty until proven innocent JR!"

 

::Jailbait and Edward get back into the ring and Jailbait is send into the corner. Ed runs into an elbow and Jailbait rolls Ed up with a handful of tights! A new ref runs into the ring and counts!::

 

1..................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout by Robbins at the last second!

 

:: Ed gets up and Hits a double axe handle shot to the bloodied area of Jailbait's head! Now Ed goes up top. But Jailbait heads up top as well. They brawl and brawl on the top rope, but Eskimo comes in and nails Jailbait with a chair shot!!! The Ref calls for the bell finally!::

 

Winner: Jailbait by DQ at 9:27

 

::Ed falls to the ground, bloodied and battered and helped to the back by officials. Eskimo crawls into the ring and the crowd begins to cheer wildly at him to destroy Jailbait. But then, suddenly, a woman comes into the ring!::

 

JR: "Oh my! That woman's face is bruised beyond recognition, who is she?"

Jesse: "Who ever she is, someone did a number on her and I think I know who!"

 

:: The woman slaps a bewildered Eskimo! Jailbait sneaks behind him and nails him in the leg with a bat hidden underneath the ring! The woman begins to scream "Is this what you wanted! Why couldn't you be a man!" Jailbait grabs the woman and kisses her! Who is this woman???::

 

Jesse: FINALLY! There you have it JR, PHYSICAL PROOF that Mystery Eskimo is trailer trash scum!

 

JR: I don't believe it, Jailbait is up to something, and it's definitely not Kosher.

 

Jesse: Probably the chick, if she's with Jailbait. I like my women nice and dirty.

 

JR: You make me sick. Anyway, we have word that something is going on in the back...

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

We go to the back to see Josh Matthews standing in front of a closed locker room door with Kyle "The Ace" Landis.

 

JOSH: Well Kyle, you came up short in your first ma-

 

KYLE/CSM: Actually, dude, I am the Crazy Spot Monkey. You want my bro Ace. Ya want me to go get him?

 

JOSH: Uh, in a minute. First let me get your thoughts on your first match, where you beet Sonic Youth.

 

CSM: Dude, that match rocked. Though I almost gave myself brain damage on that ranna. But getting the win totally ruled it.

 

JOSH: How did you feel when you, I mean Kyle lost in your, I mean his first match?

 

CSM: Eh, it sucked. But Ace has always bounced back. Actually, that's why he wanted this promo time. I better go get him, or he may force me to play chess with him again.

 

CSM walks into the locker room and emerges a second later, looking exactly the same save that his hair is tied in a neat pony tail.

 

JOSH: I thought you were going to get Kyle?

 

KYLE: I am Kyle you dolt.

 

JOSH: But, you look....

 

KYLE: I look nothing like CSM! Our hair is way different!

 

JOSH: Whatever. So, you asked for this promo time, what do you have to say?

 

KYLE: Frankly, I am here to say that I am here in the OAOAST IZ to make a name for myself. I am going to be known as the best pure wrestler here. I don't care how long it takes, but it will happen. But I have to start somewhere. My match with Darring didn't go the way I wanted it to, so I picked out someone else.

 

JOSH: Who?

 

KYLE: I will show you. Follow me.

 

The camera follows the two men down the hall to an area where several of the wrestlers have gathered around, watching the monitors. Kyle walks up to one, K-NESS, and speaks again.

 

KYLE: You are K-Ness, correct?

 

K-NESS: Yea, what's it to ya.

 

Then in an UNEXPECTED TWIST~! Kyle rears back and slaps the taste from his mouth. The others are in to shocked a state to move as Kyle grabs K-Ness in an inverted front face lock and picks him up and quickly drops him down into a tombstone position! He has unleashed the ACE SMASHER ON THE FREAKING CONCREATE~!!!!! K-Ness is quickly circled by his friends as the newcomer walks back down to his dressing room with an expressionless look on his face.

 

JR: That Kyle Landis/Spot Monkey/Whatever is goofier than a pet coon.

 

Jesse: Way to whip out the cliches JR, in the absence of actual thought.

 

 

(The arena darkens, and the hateful lyrics of "Final Prayer" cut a swath through the arena. A solitary man, arms crossed high in the air, coldly marches his way to ringside after heavy booing.)

 

JR: The enigmatic third member of the Trinity, Jacob X has returned to IntenseZone after an unexplained disappearance just prior to Great Angle Bash! He's left a lot of unanswered questions in his wake, Jesse.

 

Jesse: Questions I'm not sure I want the answers to.

 

JACOB:

I know none of you particularly care about me, and frankly I could give a shit about all of you, but I'm sure that some are curious as to why there was no 200 Light Tube match at Great Angle Bash.

 

JR: Hell yeah we'd like to know! Jay Darring accepted that challenge, and Jacob was nowhere to be found!

 

Jesse: Dammit, shut up and let him explain!

 

JACOB X:

You wanna know why? Because NO ONE was worthy. NOT ONE in this entire forsaken company who accepted the challenge was worthy of the salvation I was offering them! Everywhere I turned I saw irreparable toxicity. With my own eyes, I see the corporate bourgeois prostitution from our champion, Zack Malibu. With my own ears, I hear of shameless indulging in the pleasures of the flesh from our North American champion, Jay Darring and his friend, the degenerate, gutter-dwelling Sonic Youth. Men like them are too strongly attached to their vices- light cannot pierce through a black hole. Attempting purity through pain would be futile.

However, all of your people can rest assured, that through the Trinity, other, more suitable candidates will receive the purity through pain, and with clean blood flowing through their veins, these X soldiers will destroy the OAOAST, and rebuild it in the image of the Trinity! An image that is DRUG-FREE! ALCOHOL FREE! BOURGEOIS FREE! BETTER THAN THE LIKES OF ZACK MALIBU! BETTER THAN FEATURED....ATTRACTION!

 

JR: Jacob X has lost his mind.

 

(*"Cloud Connected" by In Flames suddenly blasts through the arena!*)

 

Jesse: Can we go FIVE MINUTES without having this guy on screen?

 

The OAOAST Unified North American champion has appeared on the entranceway, North American title on his shoulder and Puerto Rican title hanging out the front of his pants.

 

JACOB:

Doring, if I wanted shit from you right now I'd scrape your tongue.

 

JAY:

Oh, ouch Jake. You know, you can spout off all the simple-minded rhetoric you want-you know, in the absence of any actual independent thought or anything. But I know the real reason why you didn't show up at the Bash. You're afraid Jacob, and you're ashamed. You look at me, and you see what you could have been if you didn't let life crush you the way it has. Maybe if you had channeled all that rage, focused it into something good, those scars would be gone, your spine would be healthy, you'd have some real friends, you'd be accepted by women-

 

JACOB:

By the way, I like how you brought back the Katie Driller Jay-cute, that's real cute. Rub it in my face some more, and I'll rub your fucking face through a woodchipper.

 

JR: Is there a history here we don't know about?

 

JAY:

You see, there's that hostility again. I know you were hoping I'd stay in Japan forever Jacob, that the living reminder of what a failure you were would go away on it's own. You left as soon as I debuted, I take your little light tube challenge, and you run. But you can't run forever. You want to use a title to increase your influence, and you want me gone- well guess what, I'm offering you both tonight. I'm putting my belt, and my entire career on the line, in any disgusting stipulation match your corrupted little head can dream up. I lose, I'm out of your head forever. However, if I win, I put you out of your misery, your career is over, and you have to live with the Harsh Reality that you wasted the most precious gift of all-your one and only shot at life. Now, for once in your life, take this challenge LIKE A MAN and accept.

 

JACOB:

No Rope. Barbed Wire. I Quit. All weapons are legal.

 

JAY:

Deal, see you tonight, sunshine.

 

(Jay grins and leaves as Jacob silently stares at the entranceway, his eyes looking like they could burn through steel.)

 

JR:

THE MOST HIGH STAKES MAIN EVENT IN INTENSEZONE HISTORY! TWO CAREERS, ONE TITLE ON THE LINE IN AN INHUMAN I QUIT BARBED WIRE MATCH! DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL, OR YOU'LL REGRET IT, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

 

[Commercial]

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

We come back from commercial with the camera focused on JR and Jesse]

 

JR

Well fans, earlier today our cameras were present for a meeting that SPIDERPOET had with his doctors.

 

[Cut To: Poet's hospital room. He is laid up in bed, the bandages now gone, his scars healing up. He is looking at a Doctor, who is holding his clipboard and giving Poet a serious look]

 

DOCTOR

Look, Mister Cone. I don't know if you realize it, but you very nearly DIED. You stopped breathing and your body began trying to shut down from the shock of the horrible match you had just endured. How in the world you don't have any broken bones is beyond me.

 

SP

I know all of this. You reiterate it every single day to me, over and over again. And I ask the same question every day. Stop dodging it, and just give me an answer.

 

DOCTOR

(Sighs) Alright, then. The answer is no, Mister Cone. I will not be releasing you to compete before the Pay-Per-View event you wish to participate in.

 

SP

Then I'll check myself out.

 

DOCTOR

I don't think you unders--

 

SP

No, YOU don't understand. There's a madman out there with the woman I love. I don't know what terrible things he's done to her in my absence, and to be frank I don't want to dwell on it very much. He desires vengeance, and there is only ONE man on this planet who can approach this need in him. There's only one man here who can stop him. So let me make this ABUNDANTLY clear to you, Doctor. I came HOME to this hospital, MUSC, right here in SOUTH CAROLINA, where License To Pin will be held for a reason. I came home to this hospital because I knew I'd run into a jerk with a degree like you. I came here . . . because the NORTH CHARLESTON COLISEUM is within hitch-hiking distance. So let me make this clear to you. You will release me . . . or I will walk there. But either way, I will compete at License To Pin.

 

DOCTOR

Mister Cone, you don't know who you are dealing with.

 

SP

Somehow, I'm not all that worried about it.

 

DOCTOR

We'll see. In the mean time, get comfortable. We've still got tests to run.

 

SP

. . . right.

 

[Cut back to JR and JESSE.]

 

JR

(Shakes his head) It would be TRAGIC, if Poet was unable to make it to LTP, Jesse.

 

JESSE

It would only serve to piss off Goblin even more. Has he even announced what kind of match he wants?

 

JR

No. I'm not really looking forward to what he picks, either.

 

Jesse: Well, what I AM looking forward to is Stephen Joseph dismantling that cocky bastard Dangerous A, and it's NEXT!

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

::Cue, "Mr. Brownstone"::

 

OaOasT arena darkens in light but grows in cheers for Dangerous A, walking his way from out of the curtain and into the proverbial frying pan. Walking down the ramp, his face is all business, his son left in the back. DA makes it to ring, rolls in, and readies himself. There is no crowd-pleasing acknowledgement tonight. DA is focused.

 

::Cue, "Come with Me"::

 

Cheers turn to jeers, faster than water turns into wine, and the enigmatic, pained Stephen Joseph walks out stoicly, his face a mask against the inner duldrums of a lamenting heart. A sick, sick man whose time is running against him and his trinity, or as the case may be at the end of the night, a duality. Joseph stops himself at the base of the ring, turns around, and jumps up to grab the ropes, twising himself over the top rope and into the ring in a kneeling position.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Jesse: Here we go, I think this might get very brutal JR.

JR: Joseph has something to prove after losing against Zack Malibu, and young DA is his first opponent.

Jesse: Joseph doesn't face opponents JR. He makes sacrifices.

 

Ring Announcer: The following match is set for one fall, and there will be NO disqualifications!

 

JR: What? That wasn't announced!

Jesse: Remember JR, Stephen is still the commissioner...He made the rules in favor of hurting someone tonight!

 

Stephen smiles at DA across the ring, and DA, turning from shock, smiles back sickly. The two run in for a lock-up, and DA uses knee strikes to back SJ back, DA throws Popick from the ropes, and nails Popick with a beautiful drop kick to pop the crowd! DA poses, and then walks over towards Popick, who KIPS UP into a hurricanrana, throwing DA into the turnbuckle. Popick witha running baseball slide kick, but DA pulls up with the ropes, and kicks Popick in the head! Cover gets a 1 count!

 

JR: This is starting to resemble a kicking contest.

Jesse: Resemble? It is one!

 

DA pulls the fallen one up, and in a "New York Minute" everything changes. Popick snaps his hands up to DA's neck, pulling up and then forcing down...SYNCHRONICITY!

 

Popick holding DA's chest for the cover

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Double Kick to Popick's head! DA rolls over...Cover!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

Popick grabs the ropes, and then pulls DA out with his legs on DA's shoulders...this fight is on the outside now!

 

DA is dazed from hitting the ground, and Popick takes his time to whip DA into the steps, a resounding thud of head against metal. DA rolls off the steps, takes one or two steps of his own, and collapses near the Spanish Announce Table.

 

Popick walks over, eyes glazed in sickness, and pulls off the Table top. He grabs a monitor off the desk, measuring DA's slowly rising form. He charges DA at the same time DA turns his head...Standing Sweet Chin Music Connects to the Monitor, which connects to Popick's head! Popick crumples across the Spanish Announce Table.

 

DA jumps to the top, grabbing Popick in his prone form, and signals to the crowd for the GUTWRENCH DRIVER!

 

JR: DA is going to end Joseph's career!

 

DA lifts Popick up, but Popick is so much dead weight that DA has to put him back down. He tried again, and gets him higher, but the dead weight brings Popick back down...DA goes for it a third time, but Popick kicks DA below the belt. His eyes are crazed! DA is bent down, Popick puts his head between his legs, picks him up power bomb style, grabs DA's neck and lets him come down

 

Jesse: No! Joseph is going to end DA's career.

 

Popick looks at the crowd...and DA kicks him in the head, but the chokehold doesn't release. Popick shakes his head, staggers atop the SAT, and DA kicks him again.

 

Stephen's eyes glaze over, but the chokehold remains. DA struggles, and goes for a third kick, which connects, knocking Popick completely out. In the process, DA seals his own fate. The chokehold did not release, but Popick's knees and body sink down...Synchronicity v3.0. DA, blood having rushed to his head being held upside down, meets the announcetable with his neck and spine, and it is the announce table which gives way collapsing on the ring, driving DA down further, and SJ, until they both hit the ground. SJ hits with his knees, and drops backwards towards the ring, his eyes glazed, but alive. DA drops with his neck, admist the splintering debris of the table.

 

The crowd, usually responsive to such things, is dead silent. DA does not stir.

The referee starts a 10 count, with Popick slowly, slowly crawling towards the ring.

 

At the count of 8 Popick pulls himself up by the ring, sliding in at the count of 9

 

The ref hits a 10 count, and calls for the bell to be rung. This one is over...rather brutally.

Bewildered, dazed, Popick stands up for the unadulation of the crowd. His eyes return, his smile grows, his wickedness...evident.

 

Your Winner, by Countout, Stephen Joseph.

 

Popick turns to look at the damage done, but instead of witnessing the death of a beaten man, witnesses the triumph of spirit.

 

Dangerous A raises his hand.

 

Popick staggers backward, through the ring ropes, and continues to walk to the back, backwards, never losing his gaze of incredulousness on DA. At the apex of the ramp, Popick stops to witness the true power of spirit, for Dangerous A is back to standing, the crowd cheering. And Dangerous A has a mic.

 

DA: I'm still standing Popick...I'm still...standing.

 

Popick decides, at that moment, enough is enough, and departs before things, don't go his way. There's already enough on the line tonight. Dangerous A, and his lighted way, can wait for another day.

 

Jesse: Who can stop the Trinity! WHO?!

 

JR: Well, Jay Darring is going to try and deliver a crippling blow, but it might be at the cost of his career!

 

Jesse: And good riddance if it does happen, that little prick has irritated the shit out of me since day one!

 

JR: Send the children to bed, our next match is going to be rated TV-MA!

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a NO-ROPE, I QUIT BARBED WIRE MATCH, FOR THE OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP. At this point, I would like to introduce your SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE!

 

JR: Special referee? How did we get one on such short notice?

 

Jesse: The Dames knows people JR, powerful people.

 

CUT MY LIFE IN TWO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!

 

("Last Resort" by Papa Roach hits over the PA)

 

JR: It can't be!

 

Jesse: The pride of Minnesota himself!

 

 

RA: "SICK".... NICK...MONDO!

 

JR: The king of ultraviolence himself is here, to ensure that we have a winner here tonight!

 

("Final Prayer" begins playing as Mondo enters the ring and dons the pinstripes)

 

RA: From South of Heaven, weighing in at 220 pounds, representing the Trinity, JACOB X!

 

Jacob X steadily walks toward the ring, acknowledging no one.

 

Jesse: His eyes have glazed over...

 

As Jacob enters the ring and puts the mouth to Mondo, the AngleTron comes to life! SHOCKER AND SONIC YOUTH are seen in the back, putting the boots to Ed and Stephen! Shocker bashes a chair across Ed's back, as Sonic lights up Stephen with a Kendo stick! The other two members of Featured Attraction have the Trinity reeling, and they take advantage by shoving them in a nearby closet and barricading the door with a nearby table. Sonic and Shocker look toward the screen.

 

SONIC AND SHOCKER: HEY JACOB, SURPRISE!

 

FROM OUT OF THE CROWD, JAY DARRING DIVES UNDER THE BARBED WIRE, LIGHT TUBE IN HAND! Jacob X turns around-CRASH! THE LIGHT TUBE SHATTERS OVER HIS HEAD!

 

JR: FEATURED ATTRACTION HAS JUST OUTSMARTED THE TRINITY, AND WE'RE UNDERWAY!

 

Jesse: What a coward Jay is, attacking from behind!

 

JR: Two men in the ring, and one will have to say the words they've never said before- I QUIT!

 

Jacob is relatively unaffected by the tube shot and only drops to one knee. Jay WAKES HIM UP with a snap kick to the chest, and another! Jacob is upright-NOT FOR LONG as Jay connects with a stiff roaring elbow!

 

JR: Smart move by Jay, don't think, just keep up the pounding!

 

Jesse: You're not going to see many wrestling moves, this is going to be a fight straight out of a horror movie.

 

Jay quickly slides out of the ring, narrowly avoiding the piercing barbs. He grabs a chair and slides back in. Jay drops the chair, picks up Jacob, and tries for an irish whip into the wire- NO! Jacob puts the brakes on just in time! Jay picks up the chair just as Jacob turns around-

 

CRACK! SMASHMOUTH TO THE FACE OF JACOB X! JACOB FALLS BACK INTO THE TURNBUCKLES, DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE WIRE! JAY ISN'T DONE, HE'S GOT THE CHAIR AGAIN- HE CHARGES AND DROPKICKS THE CHAIR INTO JACOB'S FACE, SLAMMING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD INTO THE BARBED WIRE!

 

Mondo: Whaddya say Jacob?

 

Jacob (almost smiling): NO!

 

JR: Jacob is barely fazed by that assault!

 

Jesse: HAHA! Jay's gotten himself into a fight he can't win. Jacob X has experienced every torture imaginable, and he's never quit. Might as well hit the unemployment line now!

 

Jacob slowly begins to rise. Jay tries to stay on the offensive- going for the STIFF~! superkick, but Jacob ducks! Jacob capitalizes with a boot to the gut, into ARCHANGEL'S WINGS!

 

JR: He just SPIKED him with that move!

 

This time Jacob carefully leaves the ring. He heads over to the announce table, and rips a monitor out!

 

Jesse: Hey, we need those!

 

In the ring, Jay is slowly regaining his senses and gets to his feet as Jacob locks his eyes on Jesse in a death stare. Jay tries to grab him by the hair, but JACOB TURNS AROUND AND SLAMS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE MONITOR! Jay falls back like he's been shot out of a cannon, and we see bloodstains on the monitor!

 

JR: MY GAWD WHAT A SHOT! Jay is busted open already!

 

Jesse: And that isn't good. Loss of blood leads to fatigue, which weakens your will to continue.

 

Mondo: Do you quit?

 

Jay (gushing blood from his forehead): NO!

 

Jacob is back in the ring, and takes advantage of the heavily damaged Jay, raining hard knees strikes into his gut, and opening up his gash with punches! Sensing that Jay is sufficiently weakened, he FLINGS HIM INTO THE WIRE! THE BARBED WIRE COLLAPSES AS IT SINKS INTO HIS BODY, RIPPING HIS T SHIRT AND SPEARING HIS FLESH!

 

JR: HOLY MOTHER OF GAWD, HE'S HANGING UPSIDE DOWN!

 

Mondo: Do you quit Jay!

 

Jay: AAAAAAHHHHH! NO!

 

Jesse: WHAT?

 

JR: You'll have to damn near kill him to take his title and his dreams away!

 

Jesse: Jacob X can arrange that.

 

Jacob X has something in his pocket- a pair of wire cutters! He methodically cuts Jay free from his mangled prison, and drags his lifeless body to the center of the ring! Jay still showing no signs of life as Jacob gets behind him and lifts him up- FOR THE SPIRIT CRUSHER! JAY LANDS RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!

 

JR: STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!

 

Jesse: It can't stop until Jay says I Quit!

 

Jacob: ASK HIM!

 

Mondo: Darring, do you quit!

 

Jay: Huhhhwah?

 

JR: He CAN'T SAY I QUIT!

 

Jesse: Oh well, more fun for me then.

 

Jacob: THIS WILL WAKE HIM UP! He drags Jay to a corner, as the prone champion rests his head on the turnbuckle, Jacob charges with a BOOTSCRAPE! Jay is HEMORRHAGING BLOOD RIGHT NOW, and that move opened up ANOTHER gash on his cheek!

 

JR: Jay is SCARRED FOR LIFE after that move.

 

Jesse: Haha, try picking up ringrats looking like Kevin Spacey in Pay it Forward!

 

Mondo: What do you say, Jay?

 

Jay (eyes coming to life): No.

 

JR: Uh, oh, that pissed him off.

 

Jesse: Oooh, I'm so scared.

 

Jay...slowly...gets up. Jacob kicks him in the stomach and looks for another Archangel's Wings- HE HAS HIM UP!

 

Jay slips out, he's got Jacob's arms, TIGER SUPLEX RIGHT ON HIS HEAD! JAY COLLAPSES!

 

JR: Both men are down, the match can't end in a draw!

 

Both men lying motionless, Jay still bleeding, Jacob is up first. He tries to pick Jay up- LOW BLOW BY JAY! Jacob drops to one knee- SHINING BLACK!

 

JR: Jay with desperation offense, just trying to survive.

 

Jay: AFTERTHOUGHT! Jay grabs Jacob for the Afterthought- JACOB REVERSES. Trips the legs and grabs them-SALVATION! SALVATION!

 

JR: Jacob's finishing move! It's over!

 

Jesse: NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE!

 

Jacob has the Salvation clamped on tight, as blood leaks out of Jay's forehead, a pool collecting on the mat. Jay is not moving.

 

Jacob: ASK HIM! ASK HIM!

 

Mondo: WHADDYA SAY!

 

Jay: .....

 

JR: He's passed out from the blood loss. But he has to say the words "I QUIT!" Passing out doesn't count!

 

Jacob: SHIT! Jacob releases the hold, and SLAPS HIM HARD to wake him up. Jacob tucks Jay's head under his legs...

 

Jesse: Looking for Sacrifice, here it comes!

 

SACRIFICE!

 

 

 

NO! JAY SLIPS OUT! GRABS JACOBS NECK!

 

 

AFTERTHOUGHT!

 

Jesse: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!

 

JR: HE'S SUPERHUMAN!

 

Jacob is down! Jay, a bloody mess, crawls toward a strand of barbed wire and grabs it. Jay turns Jacob on his stomach, hooks the arms- and WRAPS THE BARBED WIRE AROUND JACOB'S NECK! HARSH REALITY!

 

JR: HOLY *BLEEP* HE'S GONNA KILL HIM!

 

Jacob's shoulders are being separated! The wire might pierce his jugular!

 

Mondo: WHAT DO YOU SAY JACOB!

 

Jacob: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I QUIT! I QUIT!

 

JR: IT'S OVER!

 

Jesse: HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!

 

RA: YOUR WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, SHOOTER JAY DARRING!

 

JR: JAY DARRING AND FEATURED ATTRACTION HAVE FINALLY STRUCK A LETHAL BLOW AGAINST THE TRINITY! THEY HAVE KILLED THE UNKILLABLE IN JACOB X! HIS CAREER IS OVER!

 

Deathmatch legend Nick Mondo raises the arm of Jay, still lying on the mat soaked in his own blood! Shocker and Sonic Youth have hit the ring, and carry the half-dead champion to the back!

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

The cameras follow the trio of Featured Attraction to their locker room, Sonic and Shocker still carrying a dazed Shooter Jay Darring.

 

JAY:

Uhh, did I win?

 

SONIC:

Yeah, you did buddy. You need some medical attention, we'll get it for you as soon as we grab the girls.

 

Sonic and Shocker open the door and gingerly help Jay inside-

 

 

ONLY TO FIND IT COMPLETELY TRASHED! Garbage is strewn everywhere, tables are smashed, shaving cream and toilet paper cover the benches! There is also graffiti on the walls.

 

 

 

Graffiti that says LIGHTNING CREW.

 

SONIC:

SHIT, they must have come in here while we were taking care of Ed and Stephen! Those slimy little pricks...

 

 

A faint noise is heard, whimpering...

 

SHOCKER:

What the hell is that...

 

SONIC (Color draining from his face):

Oh G-d, the girls...

 

Sonic and Shocker quickly lay a still out-of-it Jay down on a clean bench, and make a mad dash to the shower area.

 

Janet is tied up, gagged, and laying on the floor. She also has graffiti on her back, graffiti that says "X WUZ HERE."

 

FA quickly remove the gag.

 

SONIC:

What happened, did they hurt you! If they did anything I'll fucking end them...

 

JANET:

*COUGH* No, not badly, I can handle it. *COUGH* They...have Lauren.

 

SHOCKER:

WHAT?!

 

JANET:

They...tied her up...and took her.

 

SONIC:

FUCK, and NO ONE SAW THIS!? Shocker, call the cops, get Jay an ambulance or an EMT or something-somebody's gonna fuckin' pay...

 

[FADE OUT...]

Edited July 9, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest ShooterJay]

LOS CREDITOS:

 

Producer/Inefficiency Expert

ShooterJay

 

Contributing Writers

Kingpk

LaParkaYourCar

TheLastFreeVoice

ShooterJay

BPP

SpiderPoet

Mystery Eskimo

Jailbait

Amazing Rando

Dangerous A