Metal Losing Matches...

[Guest DawnBTVS]

Axis: Ladies and gentleman, welcome back to Metal! Up next is a match b/w young up and comer Danny Conklin and the #1 Contender for the TV Title, Todd Royal!

 

King: Should be a great technical match up Axis.

 

Axis: No doubt about that King, let's go to Funyon at ringside who is ready to announce the competitors.

 

Funyon: This match is 1 fall, 30-minute time limit. Coming to the ring from San Diego, California, weighing in at 220 pounds and accompanied by Megan Skye, Toooooooooooddddddddddddddddd Rooooooooooyyyaaaaaaaaalllllll!

 

The lights go out in the arena as a white light appears down from the rafters with an angelic hum accompanying it. Motley Crue's "Livewire" strikes up as blue and white strobe lights flash down over the entrance ramp. Todd and Megan walk out as the crowd boos quite loudly. The duo make their way down to the ring as Todd slides in and walks to the corner, awaiting his opponent.

 

Axis: This man is a very dangerous competitor King.

 

King: This guy is so full of himself that even I have to be quite impressed.

 

Funyon: Coming to the ring from Dublin, Ireland, weighing in at 220 pounds, Daaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyy Coooooooonnnnkliiiiiiiinnn!

 

"Danny Boy" by Off Kilter hits over the PA system as Danny walks out, raising both arms into the air. Danny slides into the ring and climbs onto the 2nd turnbuckle, blowing a big kiss to the crowd as he lets a big smile wipe across his face. He steps down as the referee walks over to pat him down.

 

Axis: Well, it looks like Janet will be absent for this match up after that horrific bump she took thanks to Dominic Korgath on Metal.

 

King: Oh come on, she's a tough girl. She should've just sucked up the pain.

 

Axis rolls his eyes as Danny and Todd slowly walk from their respective corners towards each other. They begin to pace in a circle, keeping their eyes locked on their opponents'. Todd raises his right hand into the air and left as Danny watches and tentatively does the same. The two men begin to interlock their hands together but Todd breaks away, not ready. Todd raises both hands as the two men interlock their hands again, both men now pushing for the strength advantage. Todd manages to get the advantage, forcing Danny into a bridge position.

 

Axis: Todd uses his strength now.

 

King: Good job by Todd, use all the advantages you have Todd!

 

Danny manages to bring himself back to his feet as Todd delivers a strong head BUTT to Danny, breaking the hold! Todd trips Danny down to the mat and looks for a quick elbow drop but Danny rolls out of the way, now looking for a leg drop but Todd stops that by catching Danny’s leg with both hands. Todd gets to his feet still holding onto Danny’s leg as Danny tries for an enziguiri but Todd ducks it, drops the leg and locks Danny into a hammerlock. Todd manages to use his strength to lift Danny up, looking for a slam but Danny lands back on his feet, reaches back grabbing Todd’s head as Todd lifts Danny into the air, only for Danny to reverse that with a snap mare throw sending Todd rolling to the outside for safety.

 

Axis: Todd looking to work Danny’s leg early on but Danny would not have any of that.

 

King: Danny better watch himself Axis, Todd is a very dangerous competitor and if he manages to work the leg, you’ll be in a world of trouble.

 

Todd rolls back into the ring as Danny walks up, both men now locking up. Todd tries to use his strength to his advantage again but Danny locks in a hammerlock, quickly switching that into a headlock. Todd is trying to find a way out of it as he bounces Danny against the ropes and tosses him off. Danny charges back off the ropes as Todd hits a leapfrog, turns and delivers a drop toehold to Danny, sending him down to the mat. Todd quickly grabs Danny’s right leg, lifting it up into the air and slamming it down hard into the mat as Danny goes to clutch it. Chants of “Royal sucks…Royal sucks…” begin to come up from the crowd as Todd delivers another knee cracker to Danny’s leg.

 

Axis: Well King, Todd has managed to begin working over Danny’s leg now.

 

King: Indeed Axis, Danny may as well give up right now.

 

Todd waits as Danny struggles to his feet, limping on his right leg as Todd bounces off the ropes nailing a chop block sending Danny down to the mat, clutching his leg in pain. Todd grins as he grabs Danny’s leg and steps over it, pressing Danny’s knee against his own as Danny cries out in pain. Todd smiles wickedly, screaming out “Tap! Tap Todd damnit!” as he presses harder as Danny desperately reaches for the ropes. Eddy Long dives to the mat, asking if Danny gives as Danny shakes his head repeatedly. Todd releases the hold but maintains his handle on Danny’s leg before locking on a knee bar as Danny clutches at his leg in obvious pain.

 

Axis: Todd is being absolutely tenacious in his attack on Danny’s leg.

 

King: That’s what a winner does Axis! Target the body part and attack it.

 

Danny is desperately reaching for the ropes and he’s now trying to drag himself closer. He reaches out, inches away but Todd wrenches harder causing Danny to cry out in pain and clutch for his knee. Danny leans back and stretches as far as he can…so close…he’s got the bottom rope! Eddy Long is now standing over Todd and Todd is forced to break the hold. Todd gets to his feet as he picks up Danny, delivering hard kicks to Danny’s shin but Danny somehow remains on his feet. Todd goes for another kick but Danny steps over it and nails Todd with a dropkick to the face! Danny staggers to his feet, stumbling against the ropes. Danny grabs Todd, looking for a Russian leg sweep but Todd manages to step out of it, nailing Danny with a swinging neck breaker. The crowd begins to chant “Todd damn-it…Todd damn-it” repeatedly as Todd grows a slight scowl on his face.

 

Axis: The fans beginning to piss Todd off with their chants.

 

King: Screw the fans Axis and marvel at the way Todd is picking apart Danny’s right leg. Soon he’ll be joining Janet in the hospital!

 

Axis: How could you possibly make fun of Janet in her condition King!

 

King: But…I.I wasn’t…

 

Axis: Oh just shut up.

 

King remains silent as Todd stomps away at Danny’s leg. Todd pulls Danny up to his feet and bends Danny’s right leg back at the knee before bringing him up and smashing Danny’s shin across his own. Danny falls to the mat rolling in pain and grabbing at his leg as Todd drags Danny to the ropes. Todd places Danny’s leg onto the bottom rope and leaps up, using the top rope to gain height before slamming his rear end hard across Danny’s knee. Todd repeats the process two more times as Todd raises both arms into the air to heavy jeers and catcalls from the crowd. Todd waits, as Danny slowly gets to his feet, using the ropes for aid before kicking him hard in the stomach. Todd grabs Danny’s injured right leg and hooks it before hitting a crisp fisherman’s suplex! Todd maintains the bridge but continues the work as he pulls on Danny’s leg harder as Eddy Long begins the count.

 

1…………….

 

 

 

2……………..

 

 

 

Axis: Danny kicks out at 2 and a half. Close near fall there for Todd Royal who is working Danny’s leg at every opportunity.

 

King: Did you see the way Todd was able to turn a pinning move into a move that also worked the injured body part Axis? Now that is the true sign of a genius.

 

Axis: Definitely a unique touch there King.

 

Todd gets to his feet and scrapes his boot across Danny’s face just to be a dick. Todd does it again as the crowd, growing restless begins a “Dan-Ny…. Dan-Ny” chant that rings throughout the arena. Todd waits as Danny gets to his feet, hopping on his injured leg. Todd grabs Danny’s leg but Danny nails Todd with a hard enziguiri to the back of the head sending him down to a roar from the crowd. Danny quickly gets to his feet, hobbling quite a bit. Danny nails a leg drop using his left leg but clutches at his right as it smacks off the mat. Danny quickly covers Todd but is in too much pain to hook the leg.

 

1………..

 

 

2……….

 

 

Kick out by Royal there. Danny staggers back to his feet and waits for Todd to get up. Danny with a few kicks to the mid-section using his good leg as he whips Todd hard into the ropes but Todd reverses. Danny’s right leg is too weak as Danny falls to the mat due to the lack of support from his right leg. Danny quickly tries to get back to his feet but Todd nails running knee lift that knocks Danny out of the ring and to the floor mats. Eddy Long is now over as Todd exits the ring to follow Danny. Todd grabs Danny, whipping him hard into the barricade (1………………2……………..3………….) before lifting up Danny and driving his legs hard into the ring post! (4………..5………….6………..7…) Danny falls to the mats in obvious pain as Todd rolls back into the ring and walks over to Megan who wipes his shoulders down with the towel. (8………9…) Danny finally gets to his feet and barely slides in but still manages to break the 10 count.

 

Axis: Almost a count out victory there for Todd Royal King.

 

King: Well Axis, it looks like Todd still has the advantage as he stomps away at Danny’s injured right leg.

 

Axis: I don’t know how much more pain Danny can go through King. He can’t even support his own weight.

 

King: Exactly Axis, soon he’ll be tapping out to the Wrath of Todd, you can count on it!

 

Todd pummels Danny with right hands, keeping Danny down onto the mat. Todd lifts up Danny, delivering a quick Russian leg sweep before dragging Danny over towards the ring post. Todd slides out and grabs Danny’s right leg as he pulls it back and slams it as hard as he can against the steel ring post. Danny screams out in pain as Todd laughs and grabs the leg (1…2…) before smashing it just as hard against the ring post a second time. (3…4…) Todd rolls back into the ring. Todd lifts up Danny and brings him down to the mat hard with a spine buster as Danny clutches his back in pain. Todd positions Danny and walks over to the turnbuckle. Todd slowly ascends the turnbuckle and looks back at Danny, trying to gauge the distance needed. Todd looks over the crowd and leaps off through the air, trying for a moonsault. Camera flashes go off as Todd lands! Hard on the mat however as Danny manages to roll out of the way with what little strength he has left. Danny staggers to his feet and leans against the turnbuckle to catch his breath as Todd clutches at his ribs in great pain.

 

Axis: Todd misses the moonsault and Danny is looking to capitalize!

 

King: Oh no…come on Todd! Get up!

 

Danny walks towards Todd, dragging his right leg along as he nails Todd with a couple of stiff looking European uppercuts. Danny tosses Todd’s arm over his shoulder, hooks the tights and lets out a long breath as he snaps Todd onto his back with a snap suplex. Danny lies on the mat, grimacing in pain as he gets to his feet yet again. He climbs onto the apron and looks over the crowd who’s now chanting “Go Dan Go…. Go Dan Go…” as Danny glances back at Todd who’s still lying on the mat. Danny rests his head against the top rope and leans back, using the ropes to pull himself up, Danny springboards off the top rope with as much leg strength as he can muster and just manages to get his left leg across Todd’s throat however Danny landed hard and is rolling on the mat in great pain after his right leg took the brunt of the landing.

 

Axis: Danny hurt himself on the Thrice Cloved King!

 

King: What a dumb kid Danny Conklin is! If you’re injured, you don’t go trying offensive moves that continue to hurt yourself!

 

Axis: While it may have hurt himself King, it hurt Todd just as much!

 

Danny slowly crawls over and lies on top of Todd, unable to hook the leg due to the pain shooting through his right leg. Eddy Long quickly slides, hitting the mat to deliver the count.

 

1……………

 

 

 

2…………….

 

 

 

3!! No! Megan just pulled Danny off of Todd and the crowd is now chanting “Slut…. Slut.” repeatedly to voice their displeasure.

 

Axis: What a jezebel King! Megan just pulled Danny Conklin off of Todd Royal and may have just screwed him out of a victory right there!

 

King: Oh come on Axis! Megan was merely alerting Danny to the fact that one of his boots was untied.

 

Axis: You make me sick King. You make me absolutely sick!

 

Danny is up on his feet, hobbling a little and shouting at Megan. Eddy Long walks over, trying to get Danny to return his focus onto the match when Megan climbs onto the apron and begins yelling at Eddy! Eddy now taking exception as Danny is now pointing at Megan and gets waffled in the back of his right knee by a black Louisville slugger!

 

Axis: Danny just got pasted by what Todd likes to call the Hand of Todd!

 

King: That’s it Todd! Show no mercy!

 

Axis: Good god King, why don’t you stop being so vile.

 

King: It’s my job to support the rule breakers Axis!

 

Todd quickly rolls the black baseball bat out of the ring so that it lands by the ring announcer’s feet as Megan happily hops down off the apron as the crowd continues to chant “Slut” at her. Eddy turns around to see Todd making the cover and hooking Danny’s leg!

 

1…………..

 

 

 

2………………

 

 

 

3!!

 

Axis: What a foul way to win and wait a minute, Eddy says two!

 

King: What! Damnit Axis, I’m getting sick of Danny paying off these referees.

 

Axis: Todd is arguing with Eddy Long now over the fact that it was only a two count.

 

King: Todd turn around, turn around!!

 

Danny is now up to his feet as Todd turns around. Todd however ducks the big right hand, taking Danny right back down to the mat with a neck breaker. Todd looks over the crowd as he grins and waits for Danny to get back to his feet. Todd mocks Shawn Michaels by slapping his leg as Danny stumbles to his feet, only to immediately receive a boot to the jaw as Todd nails a swift Super kick nearly taking Danny’s head off his shoulders. Todd grins and cockily saunters over towards the turnbuckle. Todd begins to climb the turnbuckle, one by one as he stands on the top turnbuckle and gazes over the crowd. He points, swinging his arm around and slaps his rear end as the crowd starts up a “Todd blows…Todd blows” chant. Todd looks down at Danny and leaps, looking for a shooting star press, quite the rare move however Todd figures he has the match well in hand. He hits it!!

 

Axis: Todd throwing caution to the wind, hitting what many would say is a rare move to see him do!

 

King: It paid off Axis and now look, Todd’s hooking the leg and this match should be all over!

 

1…………..

 

 

 

2…………….

 

 

 

 

3!! No! Danny manages to kick out at 2.9999! Todd is up on his feet, screaming at Eddy Long! Todd is absolutely irate now, kicking the ropes in anger. He turns and stomps Danny hard in the face, repeatedly. Danny reaches down, clutching his right leg as Todd cracks a spreading grin and grabs the leg. He flips off the fans and spins around the right leg, bending it into a four and there’s the Wrath of Todd! Danny screams in pain, slapping his back against the mat as Todd smiles exerting more pressure. Eddy Long is now lying flat on his stomach, asking Danny if he gives up as Danny can only muster enough strength to shake his head. Todd grins and leans back, grabbing the bottom rope! Danny screams louder as Eddy glances up to see the bottom rope shake but both of Todd’s hands are back to the mat. Todd leans back as Megan reaches forward, grabbing Todd’s wrists with her hands as Eddy glances up and sees what the duo is doing! Eddy walks over and with a stiff kick, breaks the leverage! Danny is now trying to roll over but Todd’s fighting it! Danny using the chants from the crowd, “Dan-Ny…Dan-Ny” as fuel as he tries to muster more strength and finally rolls Todd over! Todd screams in pain and quickly grabs the bottom rope as Danny breaks the hold, clutching at his right leg in obvious pain.

 

Axis: Todd was using that wench to help him out but Danny manages to reverse the Wrath of Todd!

 

King: Danny had Eddy Long to thank Axis. If it weren’t for Eddy, we’d be seeing Todd with both arms raised right now and being declared the victor.

 

Danny and Todd are both staggering to their feet as Danny reaches down, trying to mentally will the pain away. Danny looks up and blocks a right hand from Todd, nailing one of his own! Danny blocks another right hand, and another! Danny with a kick to Todd’s mid-section and there’s a pile driver! Danny grabs his leg in slight pain, clenching his teeth together as he crawls over and makes the cover on Todd!

 

1…………..

 

 

 

2…………………

 

 

 

 

3! NO! Todd kicks out as the crowd boos! Danny gets up, a little frustrated as he nails Todd with an elbow drop and heads slowly towards the turnbuckle.

 

Axis: It looks like Danny has got his second wind King!

 

King: Come on Todd! Get up and get rid of this scum already!

 

Danny slowly ascends the corner and glances over the cheering crowd, taking in a few hand made signs such as “Conklin is my Irish hero”, “I’m a pyromaniac” and “I want to grapple with Charlie”. Danny glances down at Todd and leaps off, camera lenses flashing repeatedly as Danny pumps once before landing hard chest first on Todd! Danny rolls off Todd clutching his leg in pain but is beginning to run on adrenaline and makes the cover, hooking the leg!

 

1……………………

 

 

 

 

 

2……………………….

 

 

 

 

 

3!! No, Eddy signals Todd kicked out!

 

Axis: Todd Royal somehow kicks out of Danny Conklin’s move he’s nicknamed the Showboat!

 

King: It figures Axis, that’s exactly what Danny Conklin is! A showboat!

 

Axis: Oh come on King, he’s just giving the fans a show!

 

King: Oh please Axis, you know all the fans want to see Todd walk out the winner.

 

Axis sighs as Danny is up to his feet. Todd is now back to his feet as well as both men stare each other down, trying to anticipate their opponents’ next move. Danny goes to kick Todd in the stomach but Todd catches Danny’s left leg as Danny hobbles on his right. Danny swings it up, looking for an enziguiri but Danny swings too far! Todd however ducks it but stands up and Danny is on Todd’s shoulders! Danny flips himself forward and Danny grabs Todd’s legs, hooking them tightly in a victory roll! Todd is really trying to kick out as Eddy Long quickly flies to his stomach to check that both shoulders are down. Here’s the count as the crowd chants along!

 

1………………….

 

 

 

 

2……………………

 

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

Danny quickly rolls out of the ring, landing on his injured right leg. Eddy Long raises Danny’s arms into the air as “Danny Boy” – Off Kilter strikes up. Danny limps back up the ramp, occasionally high fiving fans as Megan is in the ring now trying to console an irate Todd Royal.

 

Axis: My god King! Danny Conklin picks up the win with a surprise victory roll!

 

King: It was a fluke win Axis!

 

Axis: It doesn’t matter King because Danny Conklin now has another W to his record.

[Guest ToddRoyal]

Nice match man, obviously I had some good competition. Hopefully we can lock up again down the line.

 

Also, interesting that we both chose to use Todd working Danny's leg as the main storyline of the match, especially since I hadn't used that method yet in either of my previous matches.

 

I also loved the fisherman's suplex/knee wrench combo spot, which I admit I would never have thought of using as a leg work spot. Remind me to steal that liberally....

 

Though, reading it, I'm glad it didn't win just for the fact that we don't need people getting it in their heads that they should write "Todd Blows" chants in my matches...I mean that's just cruel...

[Guest Dace59]

I wonder if it was the no selling of the Submission finisher that was a big factor in your loss?

[Guest DawnBTVS]

Probably...

[Guest Dace59]

Don't worry about it man. Ask your marker if you want to. It's just my view though.

[Guest SupaTaft]

Yeah, I wasn't too keen on it myself. Probably didn't help that 2000 words were entrances alone. It started off alright, but form then on it sucked a dick.

 

-Taft

____________________________________________________

 

The crowd is simply electric as we return from the commercial break. The entirety of the crowd is on their feet, screaming their heads off as they jump about; waving their arms and their signs as the camera passes by for a sweeping crowd shot. It seems the commercial break has not in any way hindered the fan’s excitement for the main event of Metal here at The Toilet in lovely (read: impoverished) Oxnard, California! Yes, the loyal SJL fans bound with energy in the converted soup kitchen as they prepare for the onset of the main event.

 

Axis: Alright folks, now is the time for our main event. For this match, we’ve got a team of champions facing a team of contenders in a tag team bout. The World champ, Charlie “Grappler” Matthews and the European Champion Leo Breslin facing off against Viktor Tarakanov, who is to be the first man to face the World champion after Wrathapalooza for his title and his partner Tim Dillon, contending for the European title. Dillon and Breslin have quite a bit of history, isn’t that right, King?

 

King: You’ve got that right, Axis. A couple weeks ago, these two squared off and didn’t seem to hit it off too well then. Just last week on Crimson, they were tag team partners and that didn’t end up too well. Well, lets just say there was some striking with the European belt between partners.

 

Axis: So, Commissioner Raynor has decided that Breslin and Dillon made better opponents than partners and placed them against each other in this match.

 

King: You know, I’m sure that Breslin and that damned “Grappler” will be able to co-exist as a team, but how is Tarakanov going to be able to put up with Mr. Everyone’s Friend, Tim Dillon?

 

Axis: Well, they’ve got things in common.

 

King: Example?

 

Axis: They both love to drink and fight and combine the two.

 

King: Point taken.

 

Sporting his best circa 1974 prom night best, the announcing wonder Funyon raises the mic to his face with his usual flair and receives a small pop upon doing so. “Ladies and gentlemen! This is our MAIN EVENT!! This bout is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match! Introducing first, he weighs in at one hundred and ninety pounds... fighting out of Limerick, Ireland... or more accurately that bar down the street... he is Tim DIIIILOOOON!!”

 

“Barroom Hero” by Dropkick Murphy’s hits the speakers and the fans instantly begin to cheer. The lights dim down ever so slightly until the entire “arena” has the lighting atmosphere of a bar. Small cellophane shamrocks float down from the ceiling as the bagpiped tune blares from the speakers.

 

 

*BABOOM!!*

 

 

An explosion of orange and green pyro blows off at the sides of the stage and Tim Dillon himself steps through the curtain to meet the cheers of the crowd. He flashes his dazzling grin and does a quick bit of jigging before moseying down the ramp. With his arms up in a boxer’s stance, Tim throws a couple quick phantom jabs at the air in front of him. As he saunters down the ramp, he reaches into his pockets and pulls out several small Irish flags and hands them to a few of the cheering fans who had enough money to pay for ringside seats.

 

Axis: Well, Tim Dillon may be in trouble tonight. Not only is he facing what is sure to be a very formidable team in Charlie Matthews and Leo Breslin, but his partner was never one to play well with others. I’m curious to see how these two are going to get along tonight.

 

King: Vik should just knock him out and face those two alone.

 

Axis: Easier said than done, King.

 

When done visiting his fans, Dillon then slides into the ring and does a final jig as his theme song fades from the speakers. Funyon then attempts to announce further but is suddenly interrupted by an enormous explosion.

 

 

*KABOOOM!!*

 

 

The massive red pyro and loud opening chord to the Soviet National Anthem herald the arrival of one of the least liked people in the SJL. As the smoke clears and the powerful Russian lyrics begin, “The Red Rage” steps out from the back, instantly struck by a wave of boos from the fans. The focused man glares at the ring from beneath his thick brows as Funyon speaks up.

 

“His partner, he weighs in at two hundred and eighty pounds... hailing from Astrakhan, Russia... he is ‘The Red Rage’ Viktor TARAKAAANOOOV!!”

 

The fans boo even louder upon hearing the name of the treacherous Soviet, but he is unaffected by their cries. He just continues to walk to the ring, his eyes focused on Tim Dillon, as though he was his opponent. As he approaches the ring, the nearby fans start up a chant of “U.S.A.!! U.S.A.!!” which catches his ear and stops him dead in his tracks. Viktor turns to the crowd and scowls at them before less than politely telling them where they can stick it.

 

Axis: That’s Tarakanov for ya; as charming as ever.

 

King: Well, they should know better than to start chanting. Viktor’s getting psyched up for the match and they’re spoiling his concentration.

 

Axis: It’ll be interesting to see how these two will team up... and it seems like we’re going to see that very thing right now.

 

Axis’ astute assumption is coming into play as Viktor ascends the steps with a pace quicker than usual and enters the ring, approaching his partner who has just been warming up in the corner. Dillon does nothing but smile at the man who is to be his partner as Tarakanov gets right up into his face... err... so it would be if Dillon was not at eye level with Viktor’s chin. Either not suspecting anything, or too confidant to care, Tim simply grins at his Russian counterpart before making his move! Dillon casually extends his hand for a shake... an offer which surprises Viktor.

 

He also casually extends his hand... right into Tim’s jaw! The crowd gasps and then boos at the action against the charming Irishman. Even more surprising, Dillon doesn’t go down from the shot. In truth, he barely steps back from the blow, he simply turns his handsome face and shows his partner his dazzling smile. The crowd cheers upon seeing the exchange between the two as Tim rubs his jaw lightly. Viktor looks quite surprised at the endurance of his opponent, but is shocked even more so as Dillon responds with a jab of his own, landing in Tarakanov’s Russian face. Viktor also is barely affected by the shot, he simply nods at his partner before stepping to the outside, in a rare show of respect. Because if there’s one group of people who like to drink and fight more than the Russians, its the Irish.

 

Axis: ... Well... that was interesting. Viktor Tarakanov apparently testing the meddle of his partner Tim Dillon there. Exchanging blows to make sure they are equal enough to function as a unit.

 

King: Equal? Dillon isn’t HALF the man, Vik is... LITERALLY!!

 

Axis: Well, they DO have very similar fighting styles...

 

King: Bologna! Baloney, even! They don’t fight similarly at all! Vik is a Russian powerhouse who’ll flatten you with punches and Dillon is... IRISH!!

 

The two announcers are suddenly interrupted by the loud ripping of a guitar, namely the opening chords of “Won’t Back Down” by Fuel. The lights suddenly disperse from existence and flames ten feet high shoot up from the stage intermittently as two spotlights from opposite sides of the “arena” as Leo Breslin and his lovely escort Scarlet emerge from the back. With his Euro belt glistening, the fans cheer excitedly for the European champion as he and his lady friend walk down the ramp, Scarlet giving Leo several words of encouragement as Funyon begins to announce.

 

“And their opponents, first... from Cleveland, Ohio... weighing in tonight at two hundred and thirty pounds... accompanied by Scarlet Minjonet... he is the SJL European Champion... LEEEOOO BREEEESLIIIIN!!”

 

The fans cheer louder when they hear Breslin’s name called, but he is intensely focused on the match, hoping to settle the score with Tim Dillon. Scarlet offers him a few last minute tidbits of advice before he reaches the ring and they part ways. Leo Breslin slides under the bottom rope and springs to his feet, bouncing up and down excitedly, his eyes never leaving Tim Dillon who is standing on the outside. With one final leap, the stage flames shoot up to even greater heights and flames emerge form all four turnbuckles as Scarlet shows her enthusiasm with a big smile.

 

Axis: Breslin looks focused tonight, King.

 

King: Don’t you even look at me.

 

Axis: Umm... He must be eager to settle his score with Tim Dillon, and he’ll be given the opportunity to do so tonight.

 

With the last explosion of pyro, Leo Breslin’s entrance is finished and he simply goes to his corner and stands, waiting for the entrance of his partner. The wait is not a long one. The lights begin to dim and from the speakers we hear a frantic guitar line begin and rhythmic chanting of the word “Thunder”. The fans already know what to expect but most are polite enough to hold back their excitement. A faint chant of “God of Thunder!” starts up but dissipates as soon as it is heard. Suddenly, Brian Johnson’s voice screeches out:

 

 

“You’ve been... THUNDERSTRUCK!!”

 

 

As the rocking portion of the song begins, Charlie “Grappler” Matthews walks out and the crowd simply explodes in cheers! With his World title belt on his shoulder, the big man walks down the ramp with a big smile on his face, pleased at the reaction of the crowd. He slaps the hands of several fans as he passes by, trying not to leave anyone left out as they rush to touch hands with their champion. Funyon energetically pipes up.

 

“And his partner... he weighs in at two hundred and ninety nine pounds... he hails from Kansas City, Missouri... he is the Smarks Junior League WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!! CHARLIE... ‘GRAPPLER’... MAAAATTHEEEEWS!!”

 

As The Grappler steps onto the ring apron, the fans begin to chant loudly and in sync “GRAP-PLER!! GRAP-PLER!!” He can’t help but notice the crowd screaming in unison and has to turn around to them to show his approval by giving them the thumbs up. With that done, and the crowd thoroughly exhausted from cheering, Charlie steps into the ring and immediately approaches his partner, Breslin. Having faced off numerous times, they know each others’ limits and strengths... and thusly know how suitable a partner they have. With a hearty handshake and a few kind words, the two crowd favorites cement their friendship, at least for the time being, and prepare for their match.

 

Axis: What a display of good sportsmanship by the two champions! These two have the crowd behind them and are ready to kick off this main event!

 

King: Ah, stuff your fan-friendly good sportsmanship garbage! That’s not what these people came to see, nor what the folks at home bought a cheater-box to watch. They wanna see Viktor kick the crap out of whoever is dumb enough to get in his way. And he’s gonna look even better doing it when he’s got that great big gold belt around his waist!

 

Axis: Well, in order for that to happen, he’s got to beat either Charlie Matthews or Aecas, depending on who comes out on top at Wrathapalooza. Either way, it’ll be a tough challenge for Tarakanov.

 

 

DING!! DING!! DING!!

 

 

All four men stand in the ring and debate amongst themselves who is to go first out of the teams. On the champions’ side, they debate rather idly, more chit-chatting than anything. But on the other side, Tim Dillon rather authoritatively asserts himself into the ring to fight first, leaving a seemingly indifferent Tarakanov standing on the outside, holding the tag rope. Dillon then shouts at his opposing team to allow Breslin to fight, as he is eager to tangle with him again. The Grappler allows Leo to fight first and with an encouraging pat on the back, sends him into the ring. Scarlet gives a shout of encouragement also as Breslin steps forward to meet his opponent.

 

Leo approaches Dillon, who is grinning with anticipation, and promptly wipes the smirk off his face by grabbing Tim’s arm and twisting it behind his back in a hammerlock. Dillon quickly fires off two elbows behind him to dislodge his foe but upon swinging for the third, Breslin uses his surprising strength and lifts Tim up high and over his head, using nothing but his hold on Dillon’s arm for leverage. The Irishman gets up relatively fast after the hammerlock suplex and charges at Breslin, who decided to rest on his knee for whatever reason, and spins behind his opponent and locks in a chinlock.

 

Axis: Tim Dillon with that rear chinlock locked in.

 

Breslin fights the hold though and lifts himself up, forcing Dillon to reposition his hold into a headlock. Feeling his hold slipping, Dillon pushes Leo forward into the ropes. Breslin bounces back but is caught by a hard right hand from Timmy, followed by another in a similar fashion. The crowd catches on and begins to shout “OI!!” after each shot. Hammering off about six of the hard shots, making the crowd sound as though TNT were to enter and leaving Breslin visibly dazed, Dillon then steps back and cuts a quick jig for the fans before rearing back with his big follow-up left. Breslin sees the obviously placed left hook coming and ducks beneath it, grabbing the left arm and placing it over his shoulders. For a brief second, it looks as though Breslin is helping his drunken buddy Dillon out of a bar.

 

But that rather touching scene is shattered as Breslin quickly lifts Dillon up and then slams him to the mat in a perfectly executed, if somewhat unorthodox suplex. A stunned Dillon lies on the canvas staring at the ceiling as Breslin sneaks up next to him and grabs his left arm, placing it between his legs. Leo then falls to the mat and wraps his legs around Dillon’s arm, pulling it across his body in a near perfect jujigatame. Dillon grunts as he attempts to free himself from the crucifix armbar, and nearly does so as he gets to his fete and rolls Leo on his back, unconsciously putting him in a pinning predicament.

 

 

~1~

 

.

 

.

 

~2~

 

 

Breslin realizes his situation and powers Dillon back down to the mat.

 

Axis: Tremendous crucifix armbar applied by Leo Breslin. It’s got to be a feat to contend with someone with the sheer pure wrestling ability that Breslin has. Not taking anything away from Dillon here, but Dillon is just a spectacular mat wrestler. If there is one place you don’t want to be against Leo Breslin, it’s on the mat!

 

King: I’ll give him that, he’s a dangerous man once he gets you on the canvas, but unfortunately he’s got several things working against him. Namely Dillon and Tarakanov. These two aren’t exactly your most technical of wrestlers. They like to throw fists around quite a bit, and Breslin had better be prepared to alter his style a bit.

 

By now, Breslin is showing wear from holding onto the hold for so long and Dillon takes advantage of his exhaustion by regaining his position on his feet and this time throwing several firm right hands to the forehead of his opponent. Having taken enough punishment, Breslin caves and releases his vice-like hold on Tim’s left arm. Backing off, allowing Leo to rise, Dillon quickly shakes out his arm, no serious damage but it doesn’t feel all too good. Quickly going on the offensive, Tim charges over to Leo, who is still shaking off exhaustion, and whips him to the ropes.

 

Leo bounces off and is startled by Tim’s sudden appearance flat on the mat. Breslin senses what is coming and goes along with it, knowing he can gain the advantage later. With no more than one extra long step over Dillon, Breslin runs across the ring and bounces off the opposite ropes. Tim Dillon then springs to his feet and watches as Leo bounces back. With the agility of a cougar, Dillon leapfrogs over top of Leo’s charging frame and instantly turns around. As Breslin bounces off the ropes a third time, Dillon launches into his plan of action and leaps right off the ground at Breslin with a dropkick. The only problem: Breslin, the ring general that he is, saw the move coming and hooked his arms on the top rope, causing Tim Dillon to dropkick nothing but air. The fans cheer warmly for the sheer energy in the ring.

 

Axis: Nice sequence by both men. Dillon whips Breslin into the ropes, drops to the mat. Breslin bounces back and against the other ropes, Tim leapfrogs over top of him. Leo hits the ropes yet again and Dillon goes for a HUGE dropkick but gets denied as Breslin latches himself onto the ropes!

 

King: Stupid Irishman...

 

The missed maneuver wounds only Dillon’s pride as he gets back up very fast and charges at Leo. Breslin also charges forward, perhaps not aware of his Irish opponent’s similar plan. At top speed, the bitter rivals collide, both attempting shoulderblocks. Flesh smacks flesh and bone meets bone as both wrestlers hit hard and crumple to the mat. With both men visibly down and drained of energy, the referee begins to count with his hands in the air.

 

 

“ONE!!”

 

 

Axis: The fans here are electric tonight in their rooting for both Breslin and Dillon!

 

 

“TWO!!”

 

 

It is obvious that both men need to make a tag to their partners.

 

 

“THREE!!”

 

 

King: I can barely hear you, Axis! The fans are shouting so loud for Tarakanov that I cant hear you!

 

 

“FOUR!!”

 

 

Both men begin to crawl to their corners. Grappler clutches the tag rope, holding it up in plain sight so there will be no quarrels from the referee. Viktor does the same.

 

 

“FIVE!!”

 

 

Dillon and Breslin struggle immensely to pull themselves to the corners.

 

 

“SIX!!”

 

 

The fallen wrestlers near their respected corners at about the same time. The crowd is screaming wildly for both men to make the tag.

 

 

“SEVEN!!”

 

 

Scarlet hollers supporting words to Breslin as he crawls with his hand outstretched. “YOU CAN DO IT!!” “YOU’RE ALMOST THERE!!”

 

 

“EIGHT!!”

 

 

Viktor yells words of less polite encouragement to Dillon “COME ON, YOU BASTARD!!” “CRAWL FASTER!!”

 

 

“NINE!!”

 

 

BRESLIN MAKES THE TAG TO GRAPPLER!! The fans explode in eagerness to see the champion take on Tarakanov!

 

Dillon scrambles to his feet to make the tag to Tarakanov... but Viktor simply steps to the side, not holding onto the tag rope. The crowd immediately smells a rat, but are too excited with seeing The Grappler in action to notice. Indeed, Viktor purposely didn’t hold onto the tag rope to make Tim Dillon remain in the ring longer. The crowd begins to boo the heinous Communist but the easily distracted California fans are quickly enraptured by Charlie Matthews grabbing the shocked looking Dillon and dragging him back into action.

 

Axis: WHAT?! Tarakanov didn’t make the tag to his partner, Tim Dillon!

 

King: Serves that little punk right. He should know better than to mess with a Russian!

 

Axis: You’re condoning what he did?

 

King: I congratulate him for it! It’s very rare to see a wrestler these days stand up for what he believes in, and the courage of Viktor Tarakanov makes my heart tingly with compassion.

 

The Grappler looks a bit confused at the situation of not facing Tarakanov but chooses to ignore that for now. He immediately keeps the energy of the crowd going by picking up the exhausted Tim Dillon and throwing his arms around him, squeezing the life out of him with one of his signature bearhugs! The fans instantly begin to cheer even louder as Matthews thrashes his opponent back and forth within the confines of his massive arms.

 

Not only does Viktor refuse to tag with Dillon, it also appears as though he wants nothing to do with the match itself. He drops off the ring apron and approaches the announcer’s table, making Axis very nervous. Rather calmly, Viktor pulls up a chair and asks for a headset in order to communicate with the commentators and the people at home.

 

Axis: Well... apparently we have Viktor Tarakanov joining us on commentary tonight.

 

King: Welcome, Viktor! How are we tonight?

 

Viktor: I am well, King. How about yourself?

 

King: The only thing I can complain about is having to sit next to Lunch Box here for two and a half hours.

 

Axis: Hey! Umm... Viktor, tells us: Why didn't you allow Tim Dillon to tag out and let you in the match?

 

Viktor: I do not care for your tone of voice, Axis. I left match for three reasons. Number One: I don’t have any quarrel with Leo Breslin. Number Two: Because I will be able to face Charlie Matthews for his title soon enough. And Number Three: Because Dillon hit me. No one hits me without my consent.

 

Axis: But Tim is gonna get KILLED in there!

 

Viktor: Then let us watch.

 

The crowd’s reaction never once tiring, Charlie ceases the bearhug and instead places the near lifeless rag doll that is Tim Dillon on his shoulders. The fans cheer even louder when they realize what their champion is doing. With a grin on his face, The Grappler begins to spin around wildly, deliberately disrupting Dillon’s equilibrium. The crowd pops insanely for the Airplane Spin and even more so as Tim Dillon is dropped to the mat. Unable to get to his feet, the exhausted and very dizzy Tim Dillon has no alternative but to lie helpless on the mat. With the crowd roaring behind him, Charlie Matthews drops to the mat and mercifully makes the pin.

 

 

~1~

 

.

 

.

 

 

~2~

 

.

 

.

 

 

~NO!!~

 

Much to the shock of everyone in attendance and especially to Charlie Matthews, the ever durable Dillon manages to kick out after the incredibly destructive Airplane Spin!

 

Axis: WHOA!! Tim Dillon KICKS OUT!!

 

Viktor: You sound surprised, Axis.

 

King: He always does.

 

Axis: Well, its just that it takes a boat load of tenacity to kick out of a Charlie Matthews move after fighting with Leo Breslin for so long.

 

Viktor: Not as much as you’d think, Axis. Matthews is nothing but smoke and mirrors. His title reign is a hoax, and a very poorly planned one as well.

 

Axis: That’s not giving much credit to the World Champion.

 

Viktor: I do not need to give him credit. All I need is take his title.

 

Surprisingly enough, Tim Dillon’s burst of energy is not limited to just kicking out from beneath Charlie Matthews. The Irishman begins to fight back with a rare fury and begins to lay in heavy punches to his large opponent. After staggering the big man sufficiently, the exhausted Dillon then bends him over and hooks his arm around his head. With a wave of his index finger, the crowd cheers loudly for Tim as he drops Matthews to the mat with a quick DDT. He then stands up, trying his best to get Charlie up as well, and drops down again with another DDT. Then, in a rare display of strength, Tim Dillon uses the luck of the Irish and lifts up the champ yet again and slamming his head back down, completing Finn’s Fall.

 

The crowd’s buzz is surprisingly strong for someone who is giving a beating to their World Champion. After finishing his “rolling” DDT series, the near collapsing Irishman then points over to the top rope and staggers over to the corner like after a night at the pub. Shakily, Tim Dillon climbs the turnbuckles and reaches the top, crouching down for balance. Feeling his nerve up high enough, Timmy stands and looks out at the audience before giving his trademark grin and leaping off the top rope, soaring onto his opponent with a HUGE leg drop. The crowd roars as Dillon quickly flips The Grappler over and pins him.

 

 

~1~

 

.

 

Axis: TIM DILLON MAY HAVE WON THIS MATCH!!

 

.

 

 

~2~

 

.

 

King: I’M IMPARTIAL!!

 

.

 

 

~3-NOOOOOO!!~

 

Charlie “Grappler” Matthews kicks out at two and three quarters! The crowd makes a noise that almost shakes the stucco off the walls of The Toilet!

 

Axis: And the champ kicks out! I thought that leg drop had him, but The Grappler is always full of surprises.

 

Viktor: He is full of surprises. And wont you be surprised, Axis, when he loses his World Title to me after Wrathapalooza?

 

King: Nice!

 

With Leo Breslin standing on the apron hollering encouraging words to his partner, Charlie stands up and actually has to help the Irishman up so he might hit his finishing maneuver. The Grappler takes his opponent and sticks his head in between his legs and the crowd erupts at the possibility of seeing the Foreign Star Bomb. With a mighty heave, Matthews attempts to lift Dillon, which wouldn’t ordinarily be a problem, except that Tim Dillon is now fighting with everything he has left to cling onto Charlie’s legs. And with a heave, Tim Dillon rams his head into the most vulnerable point in The Grappler’s body and forces him to step back and release the hold.

 

Taking advantage of his distracted opponent, Tim Dillon steps back in preparation to charge at Dillon but bumps into the ref who was watching a butterfly or something. The gentleman that he is, Tim turns around to apologize to the man, but completely forgets himself and his situation. It is not until he hears the heavy, charging footsteps of an angry hoss coming towards him that he turns around, and by then it’s too late. The Grappler charges at the two men, not seeing the referee behind Dillon and simply annihilates them both with his Up In Flames lariat. Both men hit the ground, out cold.

 

Viktor: Ahh, I knew that runt Dillon would be unable to get the job done.

 

Axis: Then why didn’t you help?

 

Viktor: Silence, worm. Now I see that the referee is knocked down, my partner is also incapacitated, and the champion stands unaware. This is my cue, gentlemen.

 

King: Go get ‘em, Vik!

 

With that, Viktor removes his headset and takes the chair he was sitting on with him. First, he walks over towards Leo Breslin, but Scarlet steps in his way, yelling at him to put down the chair. Not one above hitting a woman, the cold and heartless Tarakanov lets the valet have a shot with the chair, sending her whimpering to the ground. Hearing his woman’s cries and seeing her get hit with the chair infuriates the usually calm Leo Breslin into a rage and causes him to leap down upon the woman beater. His want for revenge is cut short though, as “The Red Rage” blasts him upside the head with his chair.

 

With the crowd roaring, Charlie Matthews is unable to hear the commotion at ringside, and calmly bends down to check on the referee, eager to make the pinfall. The old Hitchcockian method of suspense is alive and well as Viktor Tarakanov climbs into the ring behind Charlie Matthews and the fans “see the bomb before the character’s know about it.” Like a cat idly waiting for his prey, “The Red Rage” stands patiently, clutching his chair. Finally, due to several out of place shouts of fans within earshot, The Grappler stands up and turns around slowly, as if expecting what is to come.

 

Axis: NO, DON’T DO IT!!

 

King: DO IT!! DO IT!!

 

 

*CLANG!!*

 

 

With a shot so loud it echoes over the entire “arena”, the steel chair collides abruptly with Charlie Matthews’ skull and sends The Grappler to the mat. The fans hatred has no time to percolate as it is immediately poured down upon the vile man standing in the middle of the ring. Quickly, Viktor drops the visibly dented chair and moves over to his fallen partner. He grabs up his opponent and places him on the chest of The Grappler, much to the displeasure of the fans. Even if it is the charming Tim Dillon making to cover, the victory is still belonging to Viktor Tarakanov.

 

“The Red Rage” decides to do the cautious thing and bail out of the ring, leaving the referee to little suspicion. As Viktor exits the ring and begins to walk to the back, the referee begins to stir and takes notice of the scene in the ring. Still disoriented, the referee does the only thing that he can think to do... and he counts the pin fall... very slowly...

 

 

~1~

 

 

 

.

 

Axis: This is no way to end a match!

 

.

 

 

 

 

~2~

 

 

 

.

 

King: It’s the PERFECT way to end a match!

 

.

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

~3~

 

The Grappler -almost- kicks out but it was too little too late, the match is won and the fans boo and leave like someone let off a giant stink bomb.

 

 

DING!! DING!! DING!!

 

 

Axis: Dammit! Matthews was so close! He came within a frog’s hair from winning this match but fell just short. Thanks to more than a little interference from Viktor Tarakanov, this match is over.

 

King: What do you mean interference? That man did nothing of the sort!

 

Axis: He clobbered three people with a steel chair, one of them a woman for Christ’s sakes!

 

King: I didn’t see that.

 

Axis: What are you, blind as well as shallow?

 

King: If there was cheating going on, I would be the first to see it and report it for a disqualification! It is insulting to me to claim otherwise.

 

As the bell rings, Viktor Tarakanov throws up his hands in victory as he walks up the ramp. The fans shower him with boos, hisses, insults, and garbage as he walks up the ramp slowly, enjoying every moment of his opponents’ defeat. Upon reaching the top of the ramp, he turns and signals for one of the ring crew to run and grab him a microphone. As he does, Matthews sits up in the ring, holding his head in pain and staring blankly at Viktor.

 

Axis: This is a damned travesty! That man should have never been allowed to breathe!

 

King: Strong words, Axis. Why’ve you been drinkin’ the Haterade this evening?

 

Tarakanov is then given the mic and he speaks with a wide grin, obviously happy as a pig in shit. “Matthews, you let down your guard. Never do that around me! Now, I’ve beaten you twice, comrade. You had best take care of your head, you’ve got a big match ahead of you. Oh, and... good luck against Aecas.” With that he tosses the mic to the ground and walks to the back. The fans still boo, even after Viktor has left their view. The ring and around is a scene of chaos; battered bodies lying everywhere.

 

Axis: Damn him! Damn Viktor Tarakanov!

 

King: Easy, Axis. Thanks for watching the show folks, don’t forget to tune in next week for Wrathapalooza! I’m The Suicide King, good night!

 

 

Fade out on a close-up of an angry Grappler’s face.

 

 

*2003 Smarks Junior Leagues*