LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 (edited) GREEN PYRO GOES OFF AS THE FANS CHEER. The camera pans around the rowdy crowd as fans try to get their signs on camera. A sign in the crowd reads, "Hey Cat...I'd call yo mamma anytime!" Of course the sign is held by a nerdy looking kid who won't stop laughing. CUE: I'm the Greatest~! The Cat and Kevin Kelly walk out and Cat shows off some dance moves for the crowd. The crowd pops for the fancy footwork and a "Cat" chant starts. The Cat and Kevin take their seats at the announcer's table and put on their headsets. CAT Can you believe this crowd Hermie? KEVIN Don't call me that...only The Rock can call me that. CAT So you admit you're a Hermie?? KEVIN .......... CAT Well since my fellow announcer has just became a mute, I'll introduce tonight's show! Tonight we have a match for the Number One Contendership to the Tag Team Titles! My Mamma told me she can't wait for this one. She thinks that Eddy guy is cute....sometimes I worry about my mamma. KEVIN Well she raised you she can put up with anything. Also tonight we hear from our newest OAOAST talent...Ted Weddy! We also have The Shocker going up against "Suicide" Squash Adams. Plus we'll look back at what happened on both IZ and HD! CAT First off were going to show you a pretaped promo from a newcomer here in the OAOAST. Roll that beautiful bean footage! KEVIN Bean footage?? (The vignette opens in a room in a room that looks quite familiar. A beautiful fine mahogany desk, American flags on either side, and a blue carpet that looks like it has the presidential seal on it. However, instead of George Dubbya, the man at the desk is a fat man with an afro and sunglasses, wearing a pink t-shirt.) (in a ridiculously-high pitched, Dame Edna voice.) "Helloooo, yes, this is Prrresident Teddy Weddy, I'd like to make a law that says all prostitution and drugs are legal, and um, oh yeah all the hookers must blllllow me. You will? Thanks for supporting me Senator Packwood." ::"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again":: "Well, hellooo, fellow Americans. I bet you're wondering what the Prrresident of United States of America, me, Teddy Weddy, is doing in the O A O A S T. Well, for one thing it's named after me after all- One and Only SUUUUPPPERR TEDDY~! Additiononally, I wanted to increase my list of SUUUPER accompishments. I mean, my life has been kickass- after living in the woods of Maine as a child, and coming off the streets straight outta Compton y'all, I made billions and billions of dollars as the voice of Tommy Pickles on "Rugrats" while playing professional ice hockey and becoming the Emperor, I mean, Prrresident of AMERICA! But the one thing I always wanted to do was become a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER. I mean, watching those guys on the TV, with all their grease and all their muscles-it made me HOT. So I found the best pro wrestler in the world to be my Maharishi of mat skillz, yo-DUSTY RHODES! And with his BIONIC POWERS running through my manliness, I'll be the SUUUPER CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, MUTHAFUCKAAAA!" "But I ain't coming to this sheezit alone- I'm bringing my POSSE, my SECRET SERVICE! Come meet 'em." (Julius Smokes of Ring of Honor infamy storms into the picture, kicking over the flags and smashing the desk with a jackhammer!" JULIUS: "BEEEAAA! BEEEEAAAA! BEEEAAA! BEEEAAAA! BEEEAAA! WHAT'S UP NOW!? YOU SEE THIS TEDDA, THIS HERE'S THE REAL DEAL! HE'S A STRAIGHT OUT 187 PLAYA, YOU FEEL! Y'ALL BETTER BELIE DAT I'M BACKIN UP MY BLOOD MY BLOOD-" TEDDY: "MY FLESH MY FLESH! Give me five homeslice!" (they slap hands.) Not only do I have the Train, I've got my own personal Jesus- GARY BUSEY! (Busey ambles into the room, head tilted slightly forward, a deranged look in his eye. Busey faces the camera.) BUSEY: "This man, this Teddy Weddy, has been given people ingredients from another level. If you understand the dream symbology like I do, you know that this is one man who can take this place to the top! Hey Teddy, wanna go back to my place and smell clothes?" TEDDY: "OK!" The three men depart, and before the camera fades out, it pulls to a wide shot of the Oval Office to reveal.... Paul Heyman's mother's basement. (Commercial) Edited July 12, 2003 by LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 (edited) KEVIN We're back and what a strange man that Ted Weddy is! CAT I didn't vote for him! KEVIN Umm....he's not really president. CAT I still didn't vote for him and my Mamma sure didn't vote for him! KEVIN Getting back to the show...this past Monday the strange Blurricane saga took a turn for the weirder. We were all introduced to the mysterious man known as "Father" as he told a disturbing story to Blurricane. Let's take you back to some of the footage... BLURRICANE I still do not believe you. This is all a lie. FATHER Maybe this will convince you. (He makes a motion to Bizarro and Bizarro takes off his mask) You see...you both have the same exact face. All my wrestling clones have this face because it was my son's face. BLURRICANE That doesn't mean he's a clone. (Father presses a button on his desk and a screen behind him turns on to show a lab. In the lab are other clones. He presses another button and the screen shows the failed wrestling clones doing various chores around the house. Each one looks just like Blurricane) FATHER Is that enough to convince you? (Blurricane slumps over in his seat and begins to cry.) BLURRICANE What does this mean? Do I stay here for the rest of my life? FATHER The only way I could convince the OAOAST to make the trade is to have a match between the two of you. Knowing that Number 14, or Bizarro Blurricane as he will be known in the wrestling world, is the better clone assures me that you will be coming home. (He turns to Bizarro) Take him away. He can live his "normal" life out for a few more days, but after next week he will be coming home. (Bizarro then leads Blurricane out of the room. As they leave the butler comes in and helps Father into a wheelchair. Father wheels himself to the window and looks outside. He grins as we fade to black.) CAT This is stranger than the X-Files! I can't believe that Blurricane is a clone! KEVIN He can't be a clone! This is obviously a sick sick man who is playing some sort of joke on Blurricane. However this Monday night this joke could take a turn for the worse as Bizarro Blurricane takes on Blurricane for his contract! If Blurricane loses he has to go back home with "Father" forever! CAT Just when I was beginning to like the little freak. KEVIN The last thing I want to see is that sadistic Bizarro Blurricane get a contract with the OAOAST. CAT Moving on...when we come back Shooter Jay and Jacob X raise the stakes in their match on IZ. Would either man come out the same? Stay tuned to find out. Plus later we'll see what the doctors had to say about Spider Poet's condition! Don't go away or my Mamma will whoop you! (Commercial) Edited July 12, 2003 by LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 KEVIN It's no secret that Shooter Jay and Jacob X hate each other. CAT Well duh Hermie! If you're going to be Master of the Obvious then let me take over. This past Monday Jacob X and Shooter Jay were involved in a brutal fight. Earlier in the night the two had met face to face and agreed upon a special stipulation for that match. Let's take a look! JACOB: Doring, if I wanted shit from you right now I'd scrape your tongue. JAY: Oh, ouch Jake. You know, you can spout off all the simple-minded rhetoric you want-you know, in the absence of any actual independent thought or anything. But I know the real reason why you didn't show up at the Bash. You're afraid Jacob, and you're ashamed. You look at me, and you see what you could have been if you didn't let life crush you the way it has. Maybe if you had channeled all that rage, focused it into something good, those scars would be gone, your spine would be healthy, you'd have some real friends, you'd be accepted by women- JACOB: By the way, I like how you brought back the Katie Driller Jay-cute, that's real cute. Rub it in my face some more, and I'll rub your fucking face through a woodchipper. JR: Is there a history here we don't know about? JAY: You see, there's that hostility again. I know you were hoping I'd stay in Japan forever Jacob, that the living reminder of what a failure you were would go away on it's own. You left as soon as I debuted, I take your little light tube challenge, and you run. But you can't run forever. You want to use a title to increase your influence, and you want me gone- well guess what, I'm offering you both tonight. I'm putting my belt, and my entire career on the line, in any disgusting stipulation match your corrupted little head can dream up. I lose, I'm out of your head forever. However, if I win, I put you out of your misery, your career is over, and you have to live with the Harsh Reality that you wasted the most precious gift of all-your one and only shot at life. Now, for once in your life, take this challenge LIKE A MAN and accept. JACOB: No Rope. Barbed Wire. I Quit. All weapons are legal. JAY: Deal, see you tonight, sunshine. (Jay grins and leaves as Jacob silently stares at the entranceway, his eyes looking like they could burn through steel.) KEVIN We will show you clips of that match later on tonight. I warn you right now that the kids shouldn't see this. It is brutal and bloody! CAT I'll have to call my mamma and tell her to turn the channel. She don't like blood at all! KEVIN Wait...I'm receiving word that someone backstage is requesting interview time...let's send it backstage! (We cut backstage to see solid black. This is not the black of a dark screen, but instead black cloth in front of the camera. The person standing in front of it turns around with a wicked smile on his face to reveal.....Bizarro Blurricane!) BIZARRO Do not adjust your television. You are not seeing things. Before you stands perfection. For too long that failure you call Blurricane has been allowed to have his fun here in the OAOAST, but after this Monday he will NEVER be seen in an OAOAST arena or ring again! You do not need him! You do not need false heroes telling you to take your vitamins! What you need is an example! An example of what you wish you could be and what you should strive to be! I am that example. I am human perfection. Blurricane is human waste! I'm sure Father will find something for him to do at home. Maybe he could scrub toilets or maybe he could be a servant. Hahahaha! (Bizarro does an evil laugh and then composes himself. He looks intently into the camera) BIZARRO Do not be jealous because I am everything you are not. Just sit back and enjoy the show. After all I am the perfect entertainer as well. Come next week I'll be wrestling while Blurricane is at home washing my clothes! HAHAHAHAHA! (The scene fades out to a commercial as Bizarro continues to laugh.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 KEVIN We're back and things keep heating up here on Aggression. Can you believe the nerve of Bizarro Blurricane? CAT That Bizarro Blurricane is stealin' my gimmick! He's not The Greatest! I am! I bet he's never been a Three Time Karate Champ! KEVIN Well if you believe Father then he's a clone who was raised in a big house. He hasn't done much of anything yet, but run his mouth off and cause trouble! Another person who has been causing trouble lately is The Goblin! He's managed to steal Widow away from Spider Poet and somehow control her! At the Great Angle Bash The Goblin actually managed to kill Spider Poet! SP was revived, but is still in no condition to take on Goblin at License to Pin! This past Monday the doctors gave SP their opinions on his condition... [Cut To: Poet's hospital room. He is laid up in bed, the bandages now gone, his scars healing up. He is looking at a Doctor, who is holding his clipboard and giving Poet a serious look] DOCTOR Look, Mister Cone. I don't know if you realize it, but you very nearly DIED. You stopped breathing and your body began trying to shut down from the shock of the horrible match you had just endured. How in the world you don't have any broken bones is beyond me. SP I know all of this. You reiterate it every single day to me, over and over again. And I ask the same question every day. Stop dodging it, and just give me an answer. DOCTOR (Sighs) Alright, then. The answer is no, Mister Cone. I will not be releasing you to compete before the Pay-Per-View event you wish to participate in. SP Then I'll check myself out. DOCTOR I don't think you unders-- SP No, YOU don't understand. There's a madman out there with the woman I love. I don't know what terrible things he's done to her in my absence, and to be frank I don't want to dwell on it very much. He desires vengeance, and there is only ONE man on this planet who can approach this need in him. There's only one man here who can stop him. So let me make this ABUNDANTLY clear to you, Doctor. I came HOME to this hospital, MUSC, right here in SOUTH CAROLINA, where License To Pin will be held for a reason. I came home to this hospital because I knew I'd run into a jerk with a degree like you. I came here . . . because the NORTH CHARLESTON COLISEUM is within hitch-hiking distance. So let me make this clear to you. You will release me . . . or I will walk there. But either way, I will compete at License To Pin. DOCTOR Mister Cone, you don't know who you are dealing with. SP Somehow, I'm not all that worried about it. DOCTOR We'll see. In the mean time, get comfortable. We've still got tests to run. SP . . . right. CAT I have a bad feeling that SpiderPoet is going to do something rash! But I don't blame him. He's doing it for the woman he loves and he's doing it for revenge! KEVIN When we come back we'll take a look at the Main Event from this past IZ! Don't go away! (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 (edited) KEVIN Welcome back fans. Next up we will show you clips of one of the most brutal fights I've seen on Intense Zone! Shooter Jay vs. Jacob X with a special guest ref! CAT Put the children to bed and Mamma turn on the Golden Girls reruns because it's about to get bloody! Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a NO-ROPE, I QUIT BARBED WIRE MATCH, FOR THE OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP. At this point, I would like to introduce your SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE! JR: Special referee? How did we get one on such short notice? Jesse: The Dames knows people JR, powerful people. CUT MY LIFE IN TWO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT! ("Last Resort" by Papa Roach hits over the PA) JR: It can't be! Jesse: The pride of Minnesota himself! RA: "SICK".... NICK...MONDO! JR: The king of ultraviolence himself is here, to ensure that we have a winner here tonight! ("Final Prayer" begins playing as Mondo enters the ring and dons the pinstripes) RA: From South of Heaven, weighing in at 220 pounds, representing the Trinity, JACOB X! Jacob X steadily walks toward the ring, acknowledging no one. Jesse: His eyes have glazed over... As Jacob enters the ring and puts the mouth to Mondo, the AngleTron comes to life! SHOCKER AND SONIC YOUTH are seen in the back, putting the boots to Ed and Stephen! Shocker bashes a chair across Ed's back, as Sonic lights up Stephen with a Kendo stick! The other two members of Featured Attraction have the Trinity reeling, and they take advantage by shoving them in a nearby closet and barricading the door with a nearby table. Sonic and Shocker look toward the screen. SONIC AND SHOCKER: HEY JACOB, SURPRISE! FROM OUT OF THE CROWD, JAY DARRING DIVES UNDER THE BARBED WIRE, LIGHT TUBE IN HAND! Jacob X turns around-CRASH! THE LIGHT TUBE SHATTERS OVER HIS HEAD! (THE CLIP CUTS FORWARD TO NEAR THE END OF THE MATCH) Jay: AFTERTHOUGHT! Jay grabs Jacob for the Afterthought- JACOB REVERSES. Trips the legs and grabs them-SALVATION! SALVATION! JR: Jacob's finishing move! It's over! Jesse: NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE! Jacob has the Salvation clamped on tight, as blood leaks out of Jay's forehead, a pool collecting on the mat. Jay is not moving. Jacob: ASK HIM! ASK HIM! Mondo: WHADDYA SAY! Jay: ..... JR: He's passed out from the blood loss. But he has to say the words "I QUIT!" Passing out doesn't count! Jacob: SHIT! Jacob releases the hold, and SLAPS HIM HARD to wake him up. Jacob tucks Jay's head under his legs... Jesse: Looking for Sacrifice, here it comes! SACRIFICE! NO! JAY SLIPS OUT! GRABS JACOBS NECK! AFTERTHOUGHT! Jesse: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! JR: HE'S SUPERHUMAN! Jacob is down! Jay, a bloody mess, crawls toward a strand of barbed wire and grabs it. Jay turns Jacob on his stomach, hooks the arms- and WRAPS THE BARBED WIRE AROUND JACOB'S NECK! HARSH REALITY! JR: HOLY *BLEEP* HE'S GONNA KILL HIM! Jacob's shoulders are being separated! The wire might pierce his jugular! Mondo: WHAT DO YOU SAY JACOB! Jacob: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I QUIT! I QUIT! JR: IT'S OVER! Jesse: HOW DOES HE DO THAT?! RA: YOUR WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, SHOOTER JAY DARRING! JR: JAY DARRING AND FEATURED ATTRACTION HAVE FINALLY STRUCK A LETHAL BLOW AGAINST THE TRINITY! THEY HAVE KILLED THE UNKILLABLE IN JACOB X! HIS CAREER IS OVER! Deathmatch legend Nick Mondo raises the arm of Jay, still lying on the mat soaked in his own blood! Shocker and Sonic Youth have hit the ring, and carry the half-dead champion to the back! The cameras follow the trio of Featured Attraction to their locker room, Sonic and Shocker still carrying a dazed Shooter Jay Darring. JAY: Uhh, did I win? SONIC: Yeah, you did buddy. You need some medical attention, we'll get it for you as soon as we grab the girls. Sonic and Shocker open the door and gingerly help Jay inside- ONLY TO FIND IT COMPLETELY TRASHED! Garbage is strewn everywhere, tables are smashed, shaving cream and toilet paper cover the benches! There is also graffiti on the walls. Graffiti that says LIGHTNING CREW. SONIC: SHIT, they must have come in here while we were taking care of Ed and Stephen! Those slimy little pricks... A faint noise is heard, whimpering... SHOCKER: What the hell is that... SONIC (Color draining from his face): Oh G-d, the girls... Sonic and Shocker quickly lay a still out-of-it Jay down on a clean bench, and make a mad dash to the shower area. Janet is tied up, gagged, and laying on the floor. She also has graffiti on her back, graffiti that says "X WUZ HERE." FA quickly remove the gag. SONIC: What happened, did they hurt you! If they did anything I'll fucking end them... JANET: *COUGH* No, not badly, I can handle it. *COUGH* They...have Lauren. SHOCKER: WHAT?! JANET: They...tied her up...and took her. SONIC: FUCK, and NO ONE SAW THIS!? Shocker, call the cops, get Jay an ambulance or an EMT or something-somebody's gonna fuckin' pay... [FADE OUT...] KEVIN What a match! What price will The Lightning Crew pay for their actions? We'll find out soon I hope. When we return The Shocker takes on "Suicide" Squash Adams! (Commercial) Edited July 12, 2003 by LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 (edited) Returning from commercial sees “Suicide” Squash Adams already standing in the ring with his hands on his hips. Kevin: Up next is the Shocker’s singles debut in the OAOAST against Squash Adams. Cat: Let’s see how good he really can be… Suddenly, “Live For The Moment” by Darwin’s Waiting Room begins to play and the lights go out. A bolt of “lightning” strikes the entrance way and smoke flies, and when it settles The Shocker can be seen standing where the lightning struck, holding the Spider Poet mask. The fans cheer as he makes his way to the ring, with only an OAOAST graphic showing his name to the viewing audience…but no matter…those in attendance know exactly who he is. Shocker climbs in the ring and throws his hands up as more simulated lightning strikes around the arena. As he puts the mask down and begins stretching in the corner the lights return to normal and the music fades out. Kevin: And here we go… The Shocker runs in on Adams, who tries to sidestep and succeeds, but as he turns around he is met with a vicious palm strike and a followup roundhouse kick from Shocker. Cat: Vicious kick in the opening seconds there! Somebody call my momma! Adams is pushed back and Shocker quickly moves in, hooking a gutwrench and tossing him over with a release suplex, sending Adams bouncing off the mat and out of the ring. Adams is shaken on the outside but becomes even more so as Shocker springboards over the top with a SUICIDIAL ARABIAN PRESS, dropping his legs across the upperbody of Squash, putting both men down! Kevin: And The Shocker continues to wow the crowd… Cat: …even against this loser… Shocker is up first and toys with tossing Adams in, hitting him with a clothesline or three before finally relenting to the ref’s count and tossing him back in. Shocker jumps to the apron and throws his body over the top, hitting an elbow drop on Adams on his way down. Shocker with the pin attempt… 1… 2… HE PICKS HIS SHOULDER UP! Cat: Shocker is a madman! Kevin: …he is toying with him! Shocker stands and pulls Adams up, going for an irish whip but Adams reverses and whips Shocker around and is able to toss him to the outside. Shocker seems dazed and confused as he looks up at Adams just as HE comes from the inside with his signature SUICIDE PLANCHA~! sending Shocker down! Kevin: And Adams lives up to his name right there! Cat: Let’s hope Shocker doesn’t turn this match into a homicide when he gets up! Shocker pulls himself up on the barricade and Adams jumps to the apron and tries to come off with a body press but Shocker instinctively moves, putting Adams chest first into the barricade! Shocker seems pissed off, knowing he should have pinned him in the early goings…but Adams is down and hurt, clutching his chest. Shocker picks him up and tosses him back in, using the time to go to the top rope as Adams lays out holding his chest. Cat: Shock…on TOP! Kevin: He’s coming off! Shocker dives from the top rope and hits a picturesque diving headbutt, causing Adams to roll around in pain, alternating between holding his chest and head. Kevin: This might be it Cat… Cat: What is he signaling for? The Shocker holds his hands up and the crowd stirs… …and he drops… …and hooks in THE SHOCK TREATMENT~! on the downed Adams! Cat: He’s gonna tap! Kevin: He’s got nowhere to go! CROWD: TAP TAP TAP! And Adams taps out to the Shock Treatment!! The Shocker stands and raises his hand in victory as Adams rolls out of the ring in pain, falling off the apron to the floor as “Live For The Moment” begins to play again. The lights go out… …and when they return… …Shocker is gone… …and only two words on the AngleTron remain of his presence… …’nuff said… Kevin: Impressive singles debut for the Shocker here on Agression… Cat: He’s going to be quite the asset for Featured Attraction! The fans cheer wildly (as they should) as the show fades out for commercials… Edited July 12, 2003 by LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 (edited) KEVIN Welcome back! Shocker sure took care of that guy! CAT That's was....shocking! KEVIN Now who's being Master of the Obvious?? Anyways folks next up we have some clips of the amazing Battle Royal from this past HeldDOWN~! Let's take you to the end of this match. So we're down to the final four-Caboose, Anglesault, Shattered Dreams and The Slacker. AS throws the chair over the ropes, and turns to catch a right hand from The Slacker. Slacks tries whipping him into the ropes, but AS holds onto his arm, pulls him in, and hits a release overhead belly to belly suplex, sending Slacker sliding across the ring as he lands. Across the ring, Caboose and Shattered Dreams brawl. Dreams gets sent into the corner, but puts a boot up to catch a charging Caboose. Dreams comes running out of the corner, but Caboose catches him, throwing him up and slamming him down with the Sky High, a la D Lo Brown! MC:"Shades of one of his heroes!" Coach:"And his former World Tag Team Championship partner!" MC:"I see someone has been reading up on OAOAST history." Coach:"Hey, after 6 tacos, you need something to keep you occupied while you...you know." MC:"I know. Please don't go into detail." Coach:"Oh but Michael, there was this BIG..." MC:"STOP!" Coach:"What? The big article on the Sandman/Evenflow feud. They were some sick SOB's, yo." MC:"..." With Slacker and Shattered Dreams each laid out on a side of the ring, Caboose and Anglesault backstep into each other. The two turn around, and we have another staredown, this time between two of the OAOAST's greatest stars. Caboose and Anglesault jawjack for a bit, and then both run the ropes, crashing into each other with shoulderblocks, though neither man really gives. They run the ropes again, and with the same results. Anglesault grabs Caboose and tries to pull him, sending him to the ropes with an Irish Whip, but Caboose counters by pulling AS in and scooping him up...EMERALD FUSION~!...NO! Anglesault slips out, spinning Caboose around...BELLY TO BELLY...NO! Caboose knees AS in the ribs, and then lifts AS up from under his arms...SKY HIGH...NO! AS lands on his feet, and reaches down, picking Caboose up on his shoulders...ANGLE SLAM...NO! Caboose slips out...EMERALD FUSION! NO! Anglesault grabs the top rope to block the move! Caboose has AS up on his shoulders, but 'Sault is doing everything in his power to not get driven into the...SHATTERED DREAMS SHOVES CABOOSE FORWARD...CABOOSE AND ANGLESAULT GO OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE FLOOR! Coach:"Is that it?" MC:"It's over!" Eliminated:Caboose and Anglesault Coach:"Look at who's facing off for the title shot, Michael!" MC:"Oh man, these two hate each other already." Shattered Dreams collapses, as Alix enters the ring to help him up. Slacker picks himself up as well, and leans in the corner. The fans cheer for the victors, knowing that the match they get later on tonight is going to be a killer. CAT Later on that night The Slacker and Shattered Dreams fought to see who would be number one contender. We'll show you that match later on, but up next we'll show you what happened when Stephen Joseph came face to face with the female phenom! (Commercial) Edited July 12, 2003 by LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 KEVIN This past Heldown Crystal and Axel took on Brock Ausstin and Jim Heyross. In that match Axel and Crystal took out and injured Brock. Crystal then pinned Heyross in the match. But when Crystal got backstage she had a run in with Stephen Joseph where a match was made. Let's take you to the closing moments... ::Finally, Popick lets go of the painful submission move. He goes towards the ring announcer, and shoves him off his chair. He then snaps in shut:: Coach: “Wait a minute! He can’t do that!” Cole: “Well, there isn’t really any disqualification in 24/7 title matches, so he can.” ::Popick stalks Crystal, how is still at the corner. He hits her right knee with the chair with a satisfied sneer at her painful screams. He does it twice more before rolling into the ring, with the chair still at hand. He drags her into the middle of the ring, smiling sadistically. He hits her with the chair at her face as Crystal attempts to get up. Stephen grabs the hair of the know bloody and struggling Crystal, yelling obscenities at her. He rams the chair into her knee a couple of more times. HE then pauses, and smiles bigger:: Cole: “Oh no, what is Stephen going to do now?” ::Popick takes the chair and wraps it around her knee. He then heads the corner, climbing the ropes.:: Coach: “Oh god, he’s going to Pillmanize her knee!” Cole: “No Popick don’t do it!” ::Popick is about to to jump when…Sexy Boy hits? Some Guy is here! He rushes walks down the ramp, staring down Popick. Popick, who has since got off the rope, stares at him right back. Both exchange words, and Some Guy gets closer to the ring. Popick is daring Some Guy to get in when Crystal rolls up Popick from out of nowhere! 1! 2! 3! Crystal wins! ::Crystal rolls out of the ring to avoid a post-match beatdown from Popick, who is furious that he just lost to Crystal. Some Guy helps her stand and continues to stare down Popick, with a satisfied smirk on his face. The cameras close in on SG, and then the screen fades to black.:: CAT I tell you what...Crystal is proving to be one of the best wrestlers in the OAOAST today! KEVIN I think you're right Cat...as much as it hurts me to admit you're right. Next up Anglesault had something to say this past Thursday! Let's take a look... ANGLESAULT Ya know, all week, all people have been asking me is "Why?" Why would I, a proven and admitted fuckhead, go out of my way to save Treble Cleft and Some Guy? And really, that is a valid question. COACH Damn right! (Anglesault looks over at Coachman) ANGLESAULT Shut up. (Big pop, because even though they can't here what Coachman said, they know it was stupid.) But really, I'm a man who bases myself on respect. You want my respect, you better fucking earn it. And Some Guy earned it. He went out there, and brought me further than even I thought I could go. He went through Hell just to prove that he could beat me and be a big time player. (Pop 'n' Stuff) And on top of that, he took world champion Zack Malibu (pop) to his limits. This is a man who has earned EVERYONE IN THIS BUILDING'S RESPECT. (Big Pop) But then for a WORM like Stephen Joseph, who has, despite opportunity after opportunity, amounted to exactly jack and shit, to come out and ruin the moment and attack him, I felt that pshyo-religious fuckjob needed me to do unto him as he has done unto others. (Pop) Popick, you want to start a Holy War and destroy my sin? Well, You just ran into a fucking Crusade, buddy! (Pop) I hope you've enjoyed heaven, Steve. Because I WILL take you straight to hell. (DREAM ON, and AS leaves) (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 KEVIN On this past HeldDOWN~! there was a shocking incident in the ongoing SpiderPoet/Goblin saga. Earlier we showed you what the doctors said and now we'll look at what happened on Thursday... [OPEN ON A FEMALE NEWS REPORTER STANDING NEXT TO POET'S DOCTOR FROM IZ, with the "WCSC, CHANNEL 5" Logo in the corner of the screen] REPORTER I'm Mandy Clark, here with Doctor Thomas Watson. Local and national wrestling hero Peter "SpiderPoet" Cone was being hospitalized here due to injuries sustained in one of the most brutal matches of all time. This morning, doctors entered his room to a shocking discovery. [Clark turns to the doctor and holds the Mic to him] WATSON Uh, we entered Mister Cone's room around 6 AM to administer his morning dose of pain medicines to find his bed empty, his IV's strewn about, and blood all in his sheets. He hasn't been found anywhere in the Hospital, nor in the surrounding areas. CLARK Police are currently on the hunt for Cone. Why is it such an important case, doctor? WATSON We believe that Mister Cone is suffering from delusional episodes. He could, indeed, be very dangerous to the public at large were he to have another of these episodes, going on about Goblins, God, and so forth. If someone has abducted him, it is also critical to find him to continue dealing with his various injuries, and to find the kidnapper. CLARK And if you find him? WATSON We'll be placing him in a mental institution to finish his medication and healing from his injuries. If he was abducted, we will be pressing charges against whomever violated our security. CLARK For further information on who to contact if you run across Peter Cone . . . [Cut back to Cole and Coach] MC You know, Coach, something doesn't seem right about this at all. COACH Agreed, Michael. The closer we get to LTP, the more personal all of this is going to get. DARKNESS! The lights return, and Goblin stands in the ring, cloaked and half-hooded. A dazed Widow stands at his side, and he holds a mic to his mouth. "My, my. A missing Poet and a match signed. What ever will we do? Don't worry, all. The kind of match I have in mind, he doesn't even need to show up for." The lights go out again, and we fade out to a horrible, horrible laugh . . . CAT I don't like this Goblin guy at all! He gives me the Heebie Jeebies! KEVIN The Heebie what??? The most important thing to remember is that Spider Poet is missing! CAT Working here is like working in the Twilight Zone. Up next we will take a look at the Shattered Dreams/Slacker match. These two men were the last two left in the Battle Royal and they faced to determine the Number One Contender to Zack's title! Who would come out on top? Let's take a look... Slacker's backslide is blocked by a low blow. Dreams regains control with the divorce (single arm DDT). Dreams uses a spinning full nelson causing the crowd to get on their feet and jeer as Slacker is spun around the ring like a merry-go-round! Coach:"Round and round they go!" Dreams(jumping in the air): The world is mine! The world is mine! The world is mine, for as far as the eye can see! The tenth day (tilt-a-whirl piledriver) by Dreams! The crowd gasps in horror as Slacker's neck snaps against the mat. Slacker is put into Buffalo Sleeper. He painfully whimpers as Dreams puts pressure on BOTH his neck AND arm. Dreams lifts Slacker up and applies the over the shoulder chinlock a move made popular by Mad Dog Vachon. The crowd watches in shock as Dreams lifts Slacker off the ground, during further damage to his neck. Dreams lets go off Slacker and hits him with a release German suplex. Coach:"Just go for a submission already!" MC:"He won't do that, he's sending a statement." Coach:"To who?" ZM:"To me." Dreams tries a powerbomb but it gets turned into a victory roll. That gets a one count. Slacker tries a sunset flip but it only gets zero. Slacker signals for the Slack off and the crowd roars with approval. A resourceful and relatively pain free Shattered Dreams chop blocks Slacker. He mocks his opponent's trade mark shrug and applies a bridged inverted full nelson. One guess as to what body part that move targets. One guess. MC:"There's your submission, Coach." Coach:"He's going to tap. No way can a man take this much damage to his neck." Two guillotine powerbombs by Dreams. Third time isn't a charm as Slacker goes for another victory roll. That gets a two count. Shoulder breaker by Slacker gets a one count. He whips Dreams into the ropes but gets hit with a swinging neck breaker! Crowd:Ooooooooooh damn! Dreams bows to crowd and Alix. He picks Slacker up and puts him into front a face lock. He hooks Slackers' leg and twist to side while falling to the mat. Slackers neck twists violently upon impact. The crowd urges Slacker to fight back but he's done for the night. Dreams(to Zack): It's your turn next, baaaaaaaby! MC:"I think he's talking to you, champ." ZM:"Oh, I know he is." Dreams goes behind Slacker and whispers sweet nothings in his ear as he slowly and sexually rocks him back and forth. Dreams hits one final dragon suplex and applies the Chinlock. The ref has no choice but to call for the bell. Announcer: Your winner by submission and new number one contender.......SHATTERED DREAMS! Crowd: Buulllllshit! Bullllllshit! Alix rushes into the ring and passionately French kisses her stunned boss. The couple put their arms around each other while watching the silver and gold confetti rain from the ceiling. "We are the Champions" by Queen plays, drowning out the loud chants of bullshit. Josh Matthews runs down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He presents Shattered Dreams with a 14 karat gold OAOAST world title number one contender trophy. Dreams slowly kisses the trophy and raises it high above his head, like he just won the Stanley cup. A photographer gets into the ring and takes a picture of Dreams and Alix standing with the gaudy trophy. Bright yellow fireworks go off as the ring is littered with garbage and dead babies. CAT I don't know if I want to be in an arena where they throw dead babies! Shattered Dreams won after an unpopular call by the ref and now he's going to take on the champ Zack Malibu! KEVIN Speaking of Number One Contenders. When we come back we'll have our Main Event! The Dream Machines vs. Featured Attraction for the Number One Contenders to the Tag Team Titles! (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 California Love blasts through the PA and the HeldDOWN fans jump to their feet as the Camino rolls onto the stage. Parka brings the car to the top of the ramp before cutting the engine and jumping out, his partner Peter Knight and Eddy Kalm follows, playing to the crowd and making “we want the titles” motions as they walk down the aisle. RING ANNOUNCER: The following contest is to determine the number one contenders to the Tag Team championships! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Eddy Kalm, at a total combined weight of 465 pounds, The Parka, Peter Knight, the DREEEEEAM MACHIIIIIIIINES!!!! The Machines slide into the ring and hit the corners, posing as the flashbulbs go off. KEVIN: This was all set up this past Monday on IntenseZone as Parka challenged Featured Attraction to settle this little title dispute. The Machines are hungry for the gold, and would love to get the opportunity to face Joseph and Robbins at License to Pin. The Machines bump fists and talk strategy as their music fades, the arena goes dark, and Get on Top begins, sending the IZ fans into a frenzy. CAT: But they have to get through these two first! Shooter Jay and Sonic Youth step through the curtain and bask in the light from the blue spotlights that flash throughout the arena. They jog down the aisle as the Machines watch them intently. RA: And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 397 pounds, Shooter Jay, Sonic Youth, this is FEATURED ATRRRRRRRRRACTION!!! Shooter brings his belts with him and holds them up for all to see as Sonic hops onto the second buckle and strikes his trademark crucifix pose. Jay hands his belts off to an attendant as Sonic tosses him his hat. Jay and Parka meet in the middle of the ring, flanked by their partners and share a few words. Parka nods his head and extends his hand. KEVIN: Looks like Parka wants that handshake they couldn’t do on IZ. This is a good show of sportsmanship from the team from HD. Jay nods his head in reply and accepts it to applause from the crowd. Knight and Sonic shake hands also and appear to be the ones to start the match. They loosen up a bit, but before the ref can ring the bell, Come with Me begins to HUGE boos from the crowd. KEVIN: What the…oh come on! The OaOast World Tag Team champions Edward Robbins and Stephen Joseph, in regular street clothes, make their way down the aisle as the crowd makes it known their feelings about the Trinity. Knight and Sonic stare at them as they walk around ringside towards the announce position, but Joseph and Robbins stare straight ahead. CAT: They’re coming over here it looks like. What’s wrong with scouting your opponent, Kevin? Joseph takes a seat next to Kelly, not even acknowledging his presence and puts on a headset, giving his belt to Edward, who just sits next to him silently. Knight and Sonic complain to the ref, but he motions that he’s powerless to stop them from just sitting there and motions for the bell. *DING DING* Knight and Sonic lock up with Knight overpowering and sending Sonic into the ropes, knocking him down with a shoulder. Sonic gets up and charges, but gets knocked down again. KEVIN: Stephen, you really haven’t made many friends in the last few weeks with your actions. You’ve attacked many of the OaOast’s established stars and even some of the combatants in this match. My question is, what do you mean when you say you are going to destroy the OaOast? SJ: …… Sonic tries a third time, but this time he ducks a clothesline and springboards off the ropes, dropkicking Knight in the mush. Sonic grabs a headlock and brings him into the FA corner, tagging in his partner. Jay also grabs Knight’s head and take him over with a double team snap suplex and goes for a cover. 1…Kickout. KEVIN: Quick cover there, but it’s gonna take a lot more to keep Knight down. What brings you out here tonight, Stephen? SJ: …… CAT: I told you, they’re scouting their potential opponents. Don’t you pay attention to the brothers, Kevin Kelly? It seems like black people are as good at hearing as they are in the heat. KEVIN: All right, all right. Jay hits some pretty hard knees into Knight’s gut and sends him into the ropes, taking him down with a leg lariat and tags Sonic, who comes in with a springboard legdrop across Knight’s throat and covers. 1….kickout. Sonic snapmares Knight down and backs up a few steps, raising his arm to the crowd before charging and neckwhipping Knight. Sonic pulls him back up and whips him into the corner. Sonic charges, but Knight sidesteps him and pushes him into the corner, following up with a belly to back suplex. Knight shakes the cobwebs away and tags in Parka. Parka comes in a house of fire and takes out both FAers. Parka looks to get some momentum, but at the broadcast position, Kevin Kelly tries to ask Stephen about Jay destroying Jacob on IZ this past week, but before he can, Stephen rises to his feet with Edward following and mutters a single word. SJ: Unworthy. With that, he throws the headset off and the Tag champs charge into the ring. KEVIN: Oh, no!! We’re gonna need some help out here!! The Trinity just destroys the four men in the ring. Joseph goes after Jay, who tries to hurricanrana him, but he hangs onto Jay and drops him to the mat with a Synchronicity v3.0. Edward bashes Parka and Sonic’s brains in with the chair he was just sitting on and then drives it into Knight’s gut, dropping it to the mat and hooking his head, driving him face first into the chair with a DDT. The ref, having jumped out as the Trinity jumped in, takes the ring announcer to the side. They converse for a few minutes as the Trinity goes to retrieve their belts and go. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. The referee has informed me that due to what has just taken place……the Trinity is now BARRED FROM RINGSIDE and this match MUST continue!!! KEVIN: YEAH!! Come on, let’s do this right!! A huge pop comes from the crowd at that announcement and the ref confronts the Trinity on the outside, ordering them to leave. Stephen listens to him for a moment and puts his hands up, seemingly agreeing to leave, but he suddenly grabs the referee by the throat and JAVELINS him into the ringpost!!! Major boos rain from the crowd and even some beer cups hit the camera as Joseph shakes his head and whispers something in Edward’s ear before turning to walk back up the ramp. Edward walks to the timekeeper’s table and stares down the ring announcer. KEVIN: Oh God, he’d better get the hell out of there. The RA simply cowers in front of Edward, repeating the words “I’m sorry” over and over. Edward turns to leave, but suddenly twirls back around and grabs the RA by the throat, hooking his head and DRIVING HIM HEADFIRST TO THE FLOOR WITH A DDT!!! Nothing else can be heard in the arena except the boos for the Trinity as Edward calmly turns around and walks up the ramp to a waiting Stephen Joseph, who admires the carnage with his arms crossed and a calm expression on his face. KEVIN: It is madness out here Cat. Pure MADNESS. CAT: But who are the number one contenders now? KEVIN: I don’t want to say anything; those two could probably still hear me A hoard of refs and medics rush down the aisle to check on the injured men. KEVIN: We have to go. Thanks for joining us! I'm Kevin Kelly for the Cat saying....goodnight! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2003 PROPS~! Producer LaParkaYourCar Writers LaParkaYourCar KingPK The Amazing Rando DonWestMark03 © 2003 OAOAST Productions Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 13, 2003 *bump* since it ended up so far down the page. Remember to give feedback in the feedback thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
