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Guest DEAN RASMUSSEN

NWA-VA- 7/18/2003!

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Guest DEAN RASMUSSEN

QUICK RESULTS- NWA-VA 7/17/2003- PRESTON MOTHERFUCKING QUINN FUCKING RULES! SEAN LEI IS FUCKING CRAZY! SANJAY DUTT and JACEY thrill the children! CHRIS ESCOBAR AND CHINO MARTINEZ don't wrestle long enough!

 

I'm assuming that young Raven Mack is writing up the whole show- as he joined Zicks, Satan Pro, JT and love machine Bryan Valz and the Richmond Lucha Libre guys for a night of child-drenched wrestling, so I'm just giving results and an odd comment. My friend's fledgling production company has taped the last two cards and I've gotten kinda too inside to be overly objective, but fuck it- here is this.

 

It was a good crowd with lots of kids and lots of scary True Wrestling Fans. At one point, I was figuring that they would have to get a running car around back to sneak out PQ, as the TRUE heat was pretty thick. It ruled.

 

KAMEO beat Lady Richard with a SUWA/ Jeff Hardy Spinning powerbomb in a quick match. Preston Quinn and the Old School Empire postmatch came into the ring talked shit to Kameo about breaking her boyfriend Sean Lei's back and then forced her to kiss PQ's feet. PQ then piledrove her and the locker room emptied. Evil PQ is the fucking best. "YOU SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN MAKIN ME SOME MASHED POTATOES!"

 

Chino Martinez rolled up Chris Escobar in a waaay too short match. Chino was fired up to be in the ring with Escobar because this was the best Chino match I've ever seen. Escobar throws the coolest punches in the indies (until PQ showed up for the main event.) They did a odd looking powerslam that may have forced them to take it home early or something. I wouldn't mind a rematch for a while longer. Escobar is fucking great.

 

John Kermon and Mike Thomas had a match of wrestling. Mike Thomas won. The highlight was Jacey North accompanying Kermon and Jacey getting every child in the crowd to deeply deeply hate the first man they are going to hate in their young lives. The Richmond crew start a "Ball Headed Geek" chant and we all weep with remembrance of Number One Paul Jones. The other highlight was Sanjay Dutt making the save to set up the Sanjay vs Jacey match and Sanjay FORCING the dj to play Thomas' music again and Mike Thomas did the River Dance for a while and we all wept again....

 

Magic and Nikita Allanov went to a double reverse Dusty Finish as the ref bump looked all fucked up. Magic took the Exploider Suplex on his head and also took a Superplex so the big man earned his money. The children chanted "U-S-A!" Magic won with something that looked good but I can't remember exactly what it was. The NWA-East belt is Magic's but it was confusing.

 

The Owens lost to the Old School Empire (Mike Booth, Damien Wayne) after eliminating the fabulously fun team of Ryan Spade and Dash Bennett (managed by the completely Godlike Neal Sharkey- Manager Of Champions). One of the Owens and one of the Old School Empire have an ugly few moments of blown spots but it kicked into gear when they started beating on Trey Owen and got it to a good Southern tag. Jay Owens did sweet Orihara Moonsault onto all four. Damien Wayne is so fucking seedy looking- as if he should roll out from under a truck on a creeper and run straight to the ring. Me and JT figure that Mike Booth has that fratboy serial killer look to him to compliments Damien Wayne's backwoods serial killer look. Wayne was the star of the match with the NASTY Kneedrops and AWA elbow drops. OSE cheat to win. OSE are a Southern wrestling machine.

 

Sonjay Dutt beat Jacey with a SWANK Dandino La Majistral variation. Jacey whipped out some beautiful Dr Cerebro submissions. There were a few weird lapses that hurt the match at points but the kids were deeply into hating Jacey and loving young Sonjay, thus Sonjay's final comeback was pretty heated. It wasn't as good as the match they had last year- but this was also ten minutes shorter than last years.

 

Preston Quinn was supposed to wrestle Phil Brown but Phil Brown couldn't make it because of an emergency that I can't go into. Sean Lei decides to avenge the attack on Kameo and the STIFFEST FUCKING WRESTLING MATCH IN VIRGINIA HISTORY was produced. PQ was SUCH a perfect dick in this match. I really can't do him justice. There were like five points in this match where I could NOT believe how fucking GNARLEY it was. PQ did like three Takeshi Morishima-level lariats after just beating the living fuck out of Lei with punches and forearms. Sean Lei's big comeback was fucking NASTY released Belly-to-Belly that PQ eats right on his shoulder. PQ tries to cripple Lei by doing the most fucking GHASTLY powerbomb you will ever see. I fucking loved this match. I am the world's biggest Preston Quinn mark, but fuck me running, this was fucking great.

 

DEAN.

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