LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 Pyro explodes and people are excited! The camera pans around the audience as rabid fans mug for the camera. We cut to the announce table where The Cat and Kevin Kelly are sitting. CAT Can you believe this? They made me come out before the show started! I don't get to show off my dancing skills for the camera anymore! KEVIN Are you going to mope about this the whole show? CAT No...I'm done. KEVIN Hello folks and welcome to OAOAST Aggression! What a week we've had here in the OAOAST! First off The Dames is taken away by The Trinity and then we had the return of Tony the Body to wrestling action on HeldDOWN~! Also Blurricane is no longer an OAOAST wrestler after IZ, but Bizarro is! Tonight we will look back at some of those happenings plus we have a NA Title match, Shooter Jay vs. Ted Weddy! We also have some footage to show you that we could not show you on HeldDOWN~! A match between Crystal and Widow ended brutally and we advise you to send the children out of the room for this segment. CAT That's becoming a weekly disclaimer....we're hardcore Kelly! Also tonight we'll get a decision on the Tag Title Contender situation! But first up we'll take you back to IZ where PRL and Shooter Jay came face to face and things got out of control. PRL had kidnapped Lauren and implied that he did unspeakable things to her. This of course brought out Shooter Jay and PRL demanded that he give back the Puerto Rican Title in exchange for Lauren. Let's take a look... PRL: Don’t listen to these idiots! DO THE RIGHT THING! GIVE ME MY BELT BACK! Jay: I’ll give you this belt, but I’ll tell you one thing: I will make G-d Damn sure that you will get what you deserve for hurting Lauren! PRL: The belt PLEASE! *Finally, Jay hands the Puerto Rican Championship over to Puerto Rican Lightning. Jay puts the North American Championship over his shoulder as PRL smiles evilly. The crowd boos as PRL raises the Puerto Rican Championship for the crowd to see. He puts the Puerto Rican Championship around his waist as Vitamin X gets the microphone.* Vitamin X: Ladies and gentlemen, it is a honor, for me to introduce to you all, STILL Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning! *PRL smiles but then looks at the AngleTron. Sonic Youth is shown trying to enter the Lightning Crew lockerroom.* Jesse: WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?! JR: HE’S TRYING TO RESCUE LAUREN! *Sonic Youth breaks the door and gets into a brawl with Mr. Boricua. The crowd cheers as he knocks out Mr. Boricua with a Floating DDT. He grabs a chair and smashes it over Mr. Boriuca’s head knocking him out cold. PRL is furious as Sonic Youth hugs Lauren. He takes her by her hand and the two leave the Lightning Crew lockerroom with Mr. Boricua out cold.* JR: LAUREN IS BACK WITH FEATURED ATTRACTION! Jesse: LOOK OUT PRL! *”Shooter” Jay Darring holds the North American Championship belt waiting to attack. PRL is busy looking at the AngleTron with a shock look on his face. When he turns around, he gets knocked out with the OaOasT North American Title belt. He knocks out Vitamin X and gives him the Harsh Reality. Jay picks up PRL and gives him the Afterthought to the roar of the crowd. He takes the Puerto Rican Championship belt back and holds both belts over the fallen PRL.* Jay: Puerto Rican LOSER…I WILL NEVER forgive you for what you did to Lauren! You will have to get these two belts from my dead body because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that you will ever beat me! Now deal with that Harsh Reality! *“In Flames” by Cloud Connected begins as “Shooter” Jay Darring raises the Puerto Rican and OaOasT North American Championships over the knocked out PRL. He leaves the ring knowing that Lauren is with Sonic Youth and away from the Lightning Crew. The crowd cheers as Vitamin X goes over to PRL and helps him out of the ring along with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.* (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 KEVIN: Welcome back to Aggression everyone. During the break both the Dream Machines and Featured Attraction made their way to the ring and it’s time to find out what the tag situation for License to Pin is. Last week….. “I’m baaack, and better than ever.” Well, never mind last week, HeldDOWN Commissioner Tim Moysey is on his way out here RIGHT NOW. Moysey makes his way into the ring, nodding at both teams as he gets a mic. MOYSEY: When I spoke to you gentlemen this past Thursday *motions to the DMs*, I said that I would make the decision regarding this matter unless Dames happened to show up. Unfortunately, I have STILL not heard from him since the events of last Monday’s IntenseZone and, quite frankly, this concerns me. This concerns me because I believe Joseph and Robbins stepped over the line. I do not condone ANY of the actions those two have and this one was the worst of the lot. And now Stephen has somehow coaxed Tony out of retirement to be one of his cronies. Well, I tend to put a stop to that next Sunday. Shooter had gotten a mic of his own as Tim was speaking and interrupts. SHOOTER: Ok, that’s all fine and dandy, but what does all of this have to do with the four of us. MOYSEY: I was just getting to that. I mentioned on HeldDOWN that in addition to singles matches with Some Guy and Anglesault, I said the Trinity would be defending their Tag Team titles. Now the question is, who will they face? I have thought this through and have made a decision. Ladies and gentlemen, your number one contenders for the OaOast World Tag Team titles, who will face Stephen Joseph and Edward Robbins next Sunday at License to Pin are: Tim pauses for dramatic effect and glances at both teams. FEATURED ATTRACTION!! FA high five and celebrate as the IZ fans pop and the HD fans boo. The DMs start to crowd Moysey, ready to argue, but he just puts a hand up to silence them. MOYSEY: And, THE DREAM MACHINES!! Shooter and Sonic stop their celebration and stare at Moysey in puzzlement; the Machines share that same expression. MOYSEY: That’s right. At License to Pin, there will be a Triple Threat match between Featured Attraction, the Dream Machines AND Joseph and Robbins. The first team to score a pinfall or submission, will be the Tag Team champions. Just so Stephen can’t try anything, Tony is BARRED from ringside and remember, my dear Popick, if you lose, YOURRRRRRRE FIRRRRRRED!! The crowd pops huge at the announcement as both teams nod. CAT: Oh my, what a bombshell. Tim really wants to stack the deck against the Trinity next Sunday, don’t he? KELLY: Wow….that’s really all I can say. Big match for License to Pin on the 27th. MOYSEY: Thank you very……. CUE: Come With Me KEVIN: Uh oh. I think we’re gonna need that help again. The fans boo their hearts out as the Most Hated Man in the OaOast, Stephen Joseph, walks down the aisle, flanked by partner Edward Robbins, who holds both Tag Team belts, and Tony the Body. As they come to ringside, Stephen turns to his stablemates and motions for them to stay put as he slides into the ring. The Machines step in front of their GM, but Stephen puts his hands up and says “just wanna talk”. Tim slaps the Machines on the shoulder and motions for them to let him through. Stephen steps over to Shooter Jay, staring him down for a moment before ripping the mic from his hands. He gives Jay one more look before turning his attention to Tim. JOSEPH: Well. You’re really making us work at the PPV, aren’t you? Look at you, wearing the big boy pants, getting your first taste of power. It’s a damn shame that you have absolutely no clue how to use it well. Face it, Timmy; you got this gig because someone up top felt sorry for you. Sitting home, counting the ceiling tiles, wishing you kissed just a little more ass so you can get somewhere in the OaOast. But you didn’t, so you became just another example of the filth that permeates this whole place. Dames…..I gotta give him credit….man’s got a lot of bravado. You? You have nothing. These men have nothing, they’re just as putrid as Anglesault and Some Guy. That’s the thing with this place: things never change. You think you’ve got the best of us? Heed this advice: Joseph goes nose to nose with the Commissioner JOSEPH: “The best laid plans…..” you know the rest. He drops the mic as Come With Me starts back up. Joseph slides out of the ring and meets back up with Tony and Ed, who flank him again and walk up the aisle, leaving Featured Attraction and the Dream Machines silent and Tim looking as if he’s seen a ghost. CAT A Triple Threat Match for the Tag Team Titles at License to Pin!! Mamma call the cable company now and order this PPV! It's gonna be awesome! KEVIN And if Stephen Joseph loses any of his matches at LTP he will be fired! CAT When we come back the SpiderPoet/Goblin saga takes an unexpected twist! (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 KEVIN Welcome back fans...Cat what are you doing? (The Camera pans over to show The Cat dancing beside the announce table and playing to the crowd) CAT I'm giving the fans what they want Kelly! I'm showing them my dance moves since they didn't get to see them earlier! KEVIN Will you sit down! This past Monday the SP/Goblin saga continued as we found out what Goblin has been doing to Widow these past few weeks. Let's take a look.....Cat....please sit down. [Cut to the parking lot, where Goblin is strong-arming BLACK WIDOW out of the arena! She's kicking and screaming, a total opposite from how we've seen her in recent weeks] WIDOW HELP! Somebody Help me! PETER! GOBLIN Shut up! (Goblin SLAPS Widow hard across the face and pulls a syringe from his duffel bag. She tries to get away, but he stabs it into her leg. She struggles for a moment before going limp) That's right, it's all okay. (Widow spasms for a moment before fluttering her eyes open grogilly). Stand up. Walk with me to the car, darling. We're going to go home now. (Widow nods and shuffles beside Goblin towards his car) JR Jesse, what in the HELL did he just do to her? JESSE Somehow I don't think that's heroin, JR. (Just as Goblin and Widow approach his vehicle, a deep WHOO~! pierces the night air! Goblin turns just in time to be TACKLED into the side of his Suburban by a figure in a black leather trenchcoat!) JR Who-!? (The figure stands, holding Goblin by the neck -- he's wearing SpiderPoet's mask!) JR Wait - IT CAN'T BE! IT'S -- JESSE SPIDERPOET! (Poet punches Goblin's green, tattooed face hard once, twice, and a third time. When Goblin looks back to him, his nose is pouring blood, as Widow looks on passively.) GOBLIN (Sneers a bloodied smile) YOU! THERE'S SOME FIGHT LEFT, EH? WIDOW . . . ATTACK! (SP whirls to face Widow just in tiem for her to shove her palm under his chin, rocking him backwards. Poet stumbles back a few steps but keeps his footing. Goblin is all over it, moving in with Widow. He lashes a fist at Poet, but SP blocks, only to have Widow plow him in the jaw. He shakes it off in time to duck another swing from Widow, but Goblin knees him in the sternum. Goblin tries to take the advantage by grabbing Poet by the waist of his pants to sling him head-first into the Suburban, but Poet swings a foot up over his back and kicks Goblin in the face, sending the twin back a few steps. Widow is in to keep it coming, however, trying to uppercut the bent-over SP. He rises just inches above her fist and bends backwards to miss it, and uses the momentum to backflip away. Widow watches him as he drops into a low stance, and she looks back to Goblin.) GOBLIN Well played . . . (Goblin takes off his shirt and opens the Suburban's rear door to presumably throw it in. His arm emerges holding a long kitana, however, which he twirls around in his fingers) Do you remember this, Poet? Can you recall our father's instruction here? SP Using South American drugs to effectively zombify her. You sicken me. GOBLIN (Narrows his eyes) Well . . . you're smarter than I thought. But then again, we do share the same genes. SP Don't remind me. GOBLIN Smart-mouthed bastard. SP Green-scaled assclown. GOBLIN Let's see how well that tongue works when I cut it out! (Goblin lunges at SP, who spins. He moves up the length of Goblin's thrusting arm, and grabs it, forcing it to stay extended. He throws an elbow back into Goblin's jaw and tries to wrestle the sword away, but when Goblin holds on, Poet wraps his arm around Goblin's head - STUNNER! Goblin has no choice but to take it and bounce backwards, dropping the sword. It skitters right to Widow's feet, who looks at it blankly.) GOBLIN (Rubbing his neck) WIDOW! THE SWORD! KILL HIM! (SP tries to scramble to snatch the sword away, but Widow picks it up before he can get there. He looks up at her, and she raises it up to plunge down through his back. Poet rolls out of the way, ripping his mask off in the process. He rolls to his feet beside the hood of the Suburban, his dark hair blowing with the strong breeze outside.) SP Amanda! It's me, it's PETER. Ok? Put the sword down, ok? WIDOW (Looks at SP, confused, and back to Goblin, who shakes his head) . . . Peter? SP (Nods) WIDOW Peter . . . Peter must die. (Widow charges SP, who quickls rolls backwards and to his feet on top of the hood of the SUV. Widow swipes at his legs with the sword as Goblin runs up on the other side. Poet leaps up to avoid and, as he lands, kicks a foot back to kick away the approaching Goblin. Widow swipes again, and Poet has to leap again, this time trying to drive a foot down to pin her arm down. She's a hair too quick, but Poet's attention is focused in the wrong place as Goblin is back, grabbing his ankles. Widow smiles wickedly at him and swings at his ankles again. Lightning quick, Poet still gets some air and spreads his legs, falling forward. He falls on Widow's arms as she brings the sword right under him, his legs spread. The sword and Widow's arms pinned straight under him, the blade lands inches from Goblin's neck as he's bent forward holding onto Poet's ankles. The three are frozen for an instant, before Poet kisses Widow on the lips. She lets go of the blade, and Poet spins around breakdance style to his back and kicks Goblin in the face to force him away. SP slides off the hood of the SUV, and approaches the sprawled Goblin. Poet drops to his knees and straddles him, drawing back to start punching him again. But the blade of the sword comes up under his neck, threatening to behead him. Widow stands behind him, holding it. Sirens can be heard in the distance as it begins to rain) GOBLIN You cannot save her, Peter. She is mine. And if you make it to License to Pin, I'll show you just how much I own her. Trust me . . . this all ends in Charleston. At home. One way . . . or another. Now, the real question is, will you waste the time trying to hurt me, or will you escape? You're a wanted man, SP. Very wanted. (SP keeps his fist drawn back) GOBLIN Tick, tock . . . tick, tock . . . tick, tock. (Screeching tires can be heard as several Police cruisers come tearing into the parking lot, blocking the three in beside the Suburban. The creaking of doors opening and guns clicking can be heard as the Cops demand that SP put his hands up and for Widow to drop the sword. Finally, Poet does so, after Widow simply drops the blade and steps back. An officer approaches and pulls his hands behind his head to cuff him, and Poet never takes his smoldering eyes off of Goblin.) COP Mister Cone, you are under arrest for assault. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot get an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just stated? SP . . . yes . . . (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 KEVIN Welcome back. This past Thursday a match took place between Crystal and Widow, but it was deemed to controversial to show at the time, but after some discussion it was agreed upon that it could be shown tonight with a disclaimer. CAT Mamma close your eyes and parents put the children to bed. Let's see what happened... DISCLAIMER: THIS MATCH WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO AIR ON OAOAST HELDDOWN~!, BUT THE CONTENT CAME INTO QUESTION BY BROADCASTING AUTHORITIES. THIS IS THE ENCOUNTER IN IT'S ENTIRETY, BUT PARENTS ARE STRONGLY ADVISED TO REMOVE CHILDREN FROM THE ROOM. --OAOAST PRESIDENT, BILL WATTS [Cue: I'm Just a Girl] Michael Cole Ladies and gentlement, we're in for some fun! COACH Two of our favorite ladies meet up again, Michael! MC Coach, Black Widow and Crystal have given us tremendous matches in the past, but we've got to wonder how this one is going to go. Crystal emerges from the curtain, pumping a fist in the air with a big grin. She makes her way down the ramp towards the ring, playing to the fans as she goes. MC Crystal looking as sharp and ready as ever. COACH But Widow hasn't been looking very sharp at all, Michael. Goblin's changed her tremendously. MC One has to wonder how this will - OH MY GOD! In the ring, Crystal is standing on the middle rope in the corner, arms in the air. A figure, moving so fast that it's almost a blur, slides into the ring. A thin figure, covered by a hooded robe, wielding a crowbar. Crystal turns just in time to see the figure swing for the fences, SLAMMING CRYSTAL'S KNEE! Crystal's right leg buckles instantly, and she falls awkwardly from the corner, hanging herself on the ropes on the way down, causing her to spin and land sprawled. She instantly tries to nurse her knee, but the figure kicks her in the ribs before bringing the crowbar down on her knee again. And again. And again. Crystal howls in pain as GOBLIN begins making his way down the ramp, a huge grin splitting his green, tattooed face in two. The figure in the ring looks up to see him, standing over the now crying Crystal. It drops the crowbar down, right onto Crystals ribs, and reaches up to remove the hood. MC BLACK WIDOW! Widow's face is painted white, extraordinarily pale, contrasting her jet black hair greatly, and her bright blue eyes stand out from dark, deep sockets, almost lifelessly. She regards Goblin with wonder and curiosity . . . somewhere beneath a blank stare. Goblin stands at the bottom of the ramp and looks from Widow to Crystal, points to the latter, and says something inaudible to the camera. Widow nods and looks down to where Crystal is and reaches down. She takes a head full of hair and hauls Crystal up to her feet. Crystal can't stand, however, and her knee buckles again. She falls to her knees and screams as her weight comes down on her injured knee, and topples the other way to take the weight off. Widow is still holding on, however, and she knees Crystal in the face. Twice. Widow picks up the crowbar then, and raises it to go after Crystal's knee again, but Goblin stops her with another word or two. Two more words, and Widow tosses the crowbar aside. Goblin crawls into the ring and snatches Crystal up before she can haphazardly scramble away. He bends over and slips his arms under hers and hoists her up in a full nelson, her legs dragging against the ring limply. Crystal looks in her old friend's eyes, but nothing in Widow's eyes seems to look back. Instead, Widow viciously kicks Crystal in the stomach, Goblin lets her go as Widow turns and drops - MISSES TILDEBANG~!. COACH Somebody get out here and stop this! COLE They're going to kill Crystal if someone doesn't do something soon! Crystal spasms as she rockets back and lands limply nearby, her brain not sure whether to try and nurse her neck or her knee, which just had all her weight dropped on it as she fell down in the MS. Tildebang. Widow stands with Goblin at her side as medics and refs swarm the ring. A ref tries to strong-arm the two of them away, but Goblin viciously thrusts his palm at the other man's chin, and a spurt of blood accompanies a tooth. A similar fate meets two more refs as they try to get Goblin and Widow out of the ring, and soon there is blood everywhere as security jumps the railing to come after them. Goblin throws a finger up and the lights go out. When they return a second later, the two of them are gone, leaving a mass of downed Refs around them, and Crystal wailing as Medics try to move her to a gurney . . . (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 KEVIN This situation with SpiderPoet, Goblin, and Widow continues to get more and more disturbing. CAT This is the OAOAST Kevin...it's always strange around here. Speaking of strange...our new Number One Contender to the OAOAST Title had some strange things to say to the champ this past HeldDOWN~! KEVIN How did you do that? CAT Do what? KEVIN You just verbally said a Tilde Bang! I didn't know that was possible! CAT Well I am the Greatest! Now roll that footage! ZM:"You know what, you've got a point. It's a well-known fact, I can be a cocky SOB. However, I've EARNED the right. I show respect to the other guys on this roster. I bust my ass day in and day out to make this belt over my shoulder mean something. There was a point, Dreams, when I was like you. When The In Crowd was all about partying first, wrestling later. There was a time where we were on top of the world and everything else was just a stepping stone. Then something happened...these people, the ones sitting in the seats tonight, and the ones watching at home...THEY started to take notice. THEY started to show respect to a guy who didn't care if he won or lost, but if he looked good doing it! The PEOPLE humbled me, Dreams. It's an old saying that "Respect is given when earned." So I started to give respect back. To the fans. To my opponents. To guys like Michael Cole sitting over their in the broadcast position. A win/loss record is not what got me this title, or a main event spot. RESPECT is what got me that spot. Now you think that because you win a match or two or twenty, that you're a worthy champion? You think because you've got a pretty lady in your corner, a good look and a flashy entrance that you're the shit? I don't care what happens at License To Pin. I don't care if you beat my ass from corner to corner and walk away with this belt, because if you do emerge victorious, you're a champion in name only. You'll never be a champion until you earn respect!" Dreams' jaw drops, as Alix scowls. Alix pats her fuming employer on the back, as he lifts his mic up, ready for rebuttal. Dreams: Wow. That incredibly, boring, long winded, dull and totally cliche speech was just a vehicle for you to say I don't respect you? Next time hit me up on two-way, or something. Zack, you've got me all wrong baby. All wrong. I used to have all the respect in the world for you! I used to respect you so much that I had to sneak into people's homes, steal their respect and give it to you. But not anymore, bucko! Not anymore. No sireee! Noper! No way! I have ZERO respect for you. Zero. One minus One equals the amount of respect I have for you. Zero. Do you wanna know why I don't respectacate you anymore? Zack: Yes Dreams: Sure you wanna know? Zack: Yes Dreams: Are you positive that you're sure that you wanna know? Zack: Hurry up and tell me, moron! Dreams: Ready, okay! Barbie doll, you're not a real person with real feelings or thoughts. Everything you say is cliche and trite or ripped off from a low budget after school special. I used to respect you until I saw you for what you really are. A shadow of a once great man. The remnants of a truly great wrestler. You used to be a mother fucking person! What are you now Barbie? You're nothing but an amalgam of marketing gimmicks and past trends. You're not hip and cutting edge any more. You're stale and generic. The old Zack Malibu would've jumped at the chance to face me in a match. The old Zack Malibu would've gotten a ladder, climbed up here and kicked my ass. Unfortunately, the new Zack Malibu is a dickless coward trying to cling to his past glory. The old Zack Malibu is dead. He's been replaced by Malibu Barbie. Cole: I don't think I agree with what he's trying to say Dreams: Long live Shattered Dreams! Long live the savior of the OAOAST! Long live the man who will revolutionize sports entertainment. Long live the man who will bring prestige and respect back to the downtrodden world title. Fuck all you non believers. Fuck you to Barbie. Your shits defective, it's been recalled. Thank you and have a pleasant day. Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck! "Fighter" cues up again, and the platform lowers back down. Zack Malibu and Alison keep their eye on the couple the whole time, disgusted by the social commentary of Shattered Dreams. Dreams and Alix step off of the platform and onto the stage, heading to the back. Before disappearing through the curtain, Dreams comes over and pats the World Championship, rested on Zack's shoulder. Zack shoots icicles from his eyes, as he coldly stares at his snobby rival, before heading to the back himself. (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 CAT I kinda like Shattered Dreams. He reminds me.....of me! KEVIN Yeah you're both annoying! CAT Why I should Karate kick you right out of your seat, but I'm a nice guy so I won't. Right now we're gonna take it back to someone who is annoying...Josh Matthews. Josh is standing by with Shooter Jay! JOSH MATTHEWS: I'm in the house with the OAOAST North American champion, "Shooter" Jay Darring. Now Jay, last week on IntenseZone, due to censorship issues the show was shut down early and your title match with Jailbait was cancelled. That's got to stick in your craw. JAY: Damn straight Josh. A championship is only as valuable as the man who defends it, and the fact that I missed my mandatory title defense this past week irritates me like you wouldn't believe. So not only will there be TWO title defenses this coming Monday on IntenseZone, I will defend the North American title TONIGHT ON AGGRESSION! JOSH: But against who Jay? JAY: The next guy who walks by. (A large fat man with an afro, wearing a pink shirt and smiley boxer shorts ambles on by.) TED WEDDY: WELL HELLLOOOOOO. JOSH: AAHHHHH! MY EARS! TED: That's a realllly pretty belt you've got there. I'll give you a MILLLLLION dollars for it! (pulls large wad of green bills from his pants.) Here you go! JAY: (looks at bills). These all have your picture on it! TED: IT'S TEDDY MONEY! My new presidential law is alll money must have MY PICTURE ON IT! 'CUZ I'M THE PRRRESIDENT! JOSH: Uh, no you're not Ted. TED: SHUT UP HO! (Ted pimpslaps Josh Matthews) JOSH: OWWW! JAY: Listen, I don't have time for these shennanigans. If you want this title, earn it in the ring tonight. TED: FINE FUDGEPACKER BROWN! (Ted walks off) JOSH: (rubbing his face) Um, Jay, I hate to bring this up, but about PRL and Lauren- JAY: (face darkening) THEN DON'T! (Jay storms off) JOSH: (Shrugging his shoulders) Back to you guys. KEVIN When we come back we'll take a look at the main event from this past HeldDOWN!....Hey how come the Tilde Bang didn't work for me?? (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 CAT Welcome back. On HeldDOWN~! Anglesault, Some Guy, and Caboose took on The Trinity and a special surprise partner. Roll that footage... Cole: So, who's the third guy? CHILLING ORGAN MUSIC HITS AS: Darkness fills the arena. Thunder cracks throughout the sold out building. Smoke rises around the entrance set. COLE Coach, am I the only one, or are you feeling kinda cold? COACH This is surreal. Almost supernatural. A silhoutte emgeres from the entrance. Covered in black, this mysterious and haunting figure heads towards the ring. Head down. It's IZUAL. Stunned silence. COLE W-Who is that? COACH What is that? COLE Fans, we're as stunned as you are. All we know about this -- the name is Izual. Izual stands on the ring apron. Izual raises his hands ala the Undertaker, the lights return. Izual enters the ring with the Trinity, letting the combined forces of AS, SG, and Caboose to slide out. COLE Look at the size. Whatever it is, it has to be near 7 feet tall. COACH This is whacked. Hold me, Michael. Izual stands still in the center of the ring. Chilling sight. The black cover glove grabs the hood, removes it to reveal... TONY "THE BODY"! Mixed reaction. COLE Oh my! COACH Wow! COLE B-but how? Tony's appeal to the board of directors was shot down months ago. TONY It's me -- whoops. Sorry, wrong script. Heh. But yes, it is I. Some of you are probably thinking "You're retired. How?" COLE That's a question everybody wants to know. TONY While I doubt anybody cares about such a thing, as I'm back...well, for one night only at least. But I know a couple of smarks will bitch and whine unless we somehow keep continuity. So I have prepared such a response. As many of you know, months ago the OAOAST board of directors threw out my appeal to allow me to continue wrestling, even though I lost a match. Let me tell the board somethin' -- FUCK YOU! You see, I HATE rejection. So I went out and hired Johnnie Cocheran. That son of a bitch has gotten murders off the hook, and has-been directors cash settlements over stupid lawsuit. Once the OAOAST received noticed of a lawsuit lead by my new lawyor; they caved in. Not only did I get an excellent cash settlement, I got the "career vs. respect" match stip dropped. CROWD BOOS. TONY Yep. I'm allowed to 'rassle again. COLE Incredible. COACH Johnnie's a great lawyor. TONY Which brings me to tonight. A week ago I get a call from one of my best friends in the OAOAST -- yes I said FRIEND -- Stephen Joseph. Stephen, thanks for the offer. You see, he asked if I'd accept an offer to join in a 6-man tag match on the one number show on Thursday nights -- HeldDOWN! I said "well, I don't like Caboose. I REALLY don't like Some Guy. AS unofficially changed his name to ASS. So yeah, I'll accept." COACH Big comments coming from Tony. TONY But the biggest reason I accepted was because a man I thought was a friend has taken a turn for the worst. COLE Who's he talking about? TONY Anglesault. CROWD CHEERS. TONY AS, what happened to you? What happened to the Anglesault who lead the aWo, and nearly brought the OAOAST to its knees? What happened to the AS who didn't give a shit what you thought? Remember when you complained about being a good guy last year? Remember being pissed at the OAOAST for marketing you as something you weren't, for the sake of making a quick buck off you? Need I remind you of the t-shirts, posters, videos, and even the condom shape of your head? All I ask is: why? 'Sault, you've become the very thing you fought hard about online. AS, you've becomed pussified. In other words, you're now good guy, goofy...KURT ANGLE! CROWD OHS. COLE Why that no good rotten son of a -- COACH Easy. TONY As we embark on the following 6-man, remember your roots. Remember how you won the OAOAST championship. I ask you as a FRIEND, come back home, Anglesault. (softly) Come back. THE CLIP CUTS TO THE END OF THE MATCH Caboose is picked up and scoop slammed down near the turnbuckle. Tony scales for a high risk move while Caboose stands and turns around... DOUBLE AXEHANDLE... END OF THE LINE! Tony's head careens back into the turnbuckle while Caboose falls back down. Both corners scream at the other to get back...and Tony and Caboose crawl back...Tony gets there first, but Caboose gets a tag in too! AngleSault...Stephen Joseph! They meet in the middle, but don't fight, instead they exchange and hurl insults for at least a minute, getting the crowd really riled up. Joseph slaps the taste of of AS's mouth, spit flying everywhere! AS takes offense, chopping Stephen Joseph back to his corner, tagging back in Caboose. Caboose meets Stephen with a chokehold down to the mat. He pulls up a three...and covers! 1 2 NO! Edward pulls Caboose off! Caboose takes affront, and hits a EMERALD FUSION ON EDWARD! Caboose turns around, and Stephen is right there. DESPERATION SYNCHRONICITY V3! Both men crumple! Caboose, slowly, tries to come around to crawl toward both men...while Stephen crawls toward his corner. Caboose turns around and grabs Stephen's leg, pulling him toward the aWo corner. Caboose lunges and tags both partners! AS picks Stephen up and throws him toward the turnbuckle, then placing him on the top facing outside! Stephen atop the turnbuckle, is in a world of hurt. SG scales opposite, and it looks like he wants to flip over Stephen to hit a top rope inverted ddt! Tony grabs Caboose, and with Edward disposed, takes to fighting with Caboose around the ring fisticuff style. Stephen lunges at SG on the ropes, and locks a hammerhold into AS's stomach. It looks like a top Rope German! AngleSault to the rescue with a springboard sunset flip powerbomb ALA Jerry Lynn as SG is Germaned off! SG's neck hits the canvas first, but Stephen Joseph lands badly too. AS sits down holding BPP's shoulders down Both referees see the pinfall attempt, and come over to count. 1 2 3!!!! Each referee signals for the bell, but begin to argue at ringside. Finally, the announcer gets a message across. Announcer: Following the referee's decision, a DOUBLE PINFALL has been recorded. SomeGuy's shoulders were down with Stephen Joseph clearly pinning him after an offensive maneuver. However, AngleSault also clearly pinned Stephen Joseph in the same manner. ThereFORE, this match has been ruled a draw. ::Crowd boos:: ::The ANGLETRON flares up, its TIM MOYSEY~!:: Tim: Fans of HeldDown, while the match was good, you got robbed out of a decent finish, no thanks to Stephen Joseph. Therefore, MR. Tag Team champion, NOT ONLY are you defending your tag team titles at License to Pin, but you're going to face BOTH SomeGuy and AngleSault in Singles Matches that very NIGHT! ::Crowd pops:: Tim: Additionally, should you lose any match that night, You and Edward Robbins will be released of your contracts...You understand...FIRED! ::Crowd REALLY pops:: Tim: Have a SUPER day! *The cameras close in on Tim's gleeful smile on the AngleTron. Stephen and Edward ponder this scenario, their eyes turning red with anger, as we take one final look at them before we fade out for good.* KEVIN When we come back we'll have our Main Event! Shooter Jay vs. Ted Weddy for the NA Title! (Commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 RING ANNOUNCER: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP! PA: "I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of TEDDY!" -Then, "What's My Name" by Snoop Doggy Dog starts playing! RA: Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied to the ring by J-Train and Gary Busey, from Hollis, Maine, weighing in at 390 pounds, TED WEDDY! Kelly: Probably the most unusual competitor in OAOAST history, and that's say a lot! Cat: They're all doing the Liquid Dance! Indeed, the motley crew of Busey, Train, and Ted are all getting funky like a monkey on the way to the ring. Kelly: Now I've seen everything. (*Cue up "Cloud Connected" by In Flames*) RA: And his oppponent, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 173 pounds, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING! Kelly: The champ looking very calm on the way to the ring, but you know what went down on IntenseZone last week with him and Puerto Rican Lightning is gnawing at his insides. Cat: He's like one of those spiders you see on the Crocodile Hunter! Lies in wait, then SOMEBODY BETTA CALL PRL's MAMMA! Jay and Ted face off in the center of the ring, the much larger Ted dwarfing the somewhat diminutive champion. Kelly: This Ted is a MASSIVE competitor. Very similar to his trainer, NWA legend Dusty Rhodes! Cat: Did Dusty teach him to talk too? Ted all of a sudden grabs his crotch and yells "SUCK IT BIOTCH!" Kelly: No respect by the challenger. Jay just cracks a smile, and LEVELS Ted with a stiff forearm, staggering him! Then a ROARING ELBOW, and Ted goes down. Ted tries to get back to his feet, but Jay CUTS HIM OFF with two quick snap kicks to the chest! Ted is on dream street- STIFF~! Superkick by Jay, and Ted FLIES to the outside, landing with a thud on the floor! Kelly: Ted has got to get focused or this match may end quickly! Ted is back up- "REF, I DEMAND A DISQUALIFICATION!" The ref just looks at him funny, and Ted takes his time getting back in the ring. Meanwhile, a fan is heckly J-Train. "Hey Train, your boy SUCKS!" J-Train's eyes bug out, and he SMACKS the fan right in the face! More fans try and hit J-Train, and he JUMPS THE RAIL! Kelly: OH MY G-D, THERE'S A RIOT GOING ON IN THE STANDS THANKS TO J-TRAIN! Cat: SWEET LORD, HE JUST KICKED A SEVEN YEAR OLD IN THE BALLS! As the referee heads to the outside and attempts to restore order, GARY BUSEY pulls something from his pants and slides in the ring! Kelly: Busey's got a RUBBER CHICKEN! Jay doesn't see him! Jay turns around, and gets BLASTED in the face with the rubber chicken! Jay is down! Cat: Yeowch! That's gotta hurt. Ever been hit in the face with a rubber chicken Kevin Kelly? Kelly: Not since yesterday Cat. Cat: I don't even wanna know. Meanwhile, Ted is back in the ring. He grabs the stunned Jay, picks him up by the throat- CHOKESLAM! Kelly: He calls that the High Times! Cat: There's a joke there somewhere, but I don't feel like saying it. Ted decides not to go for the cover, and tosses the prone champ in the corner, stomping a mudhole in him BY GAWD. He pulls Jay out of the corner, irish whip- Ted catches Jay off the ropes with a BOSSMAN SLAM! COVER! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Kelly: Ted all of a sudden showing a lot of focus in this match, he wants this title bad! Cat: When the going gets tough, Ted can be a mean man! Ted picks up Jay, grabs a waistlock, segued into a sleeperhold, -he CRANKS ON JAY'S NECK AND DROPS HIM! Kelly: Did you HEAR that cracking sound! Cat: He may have broke that sucka's neck! Ted: "NOW IT'S OVER!" Jay is lying on his back, Ted picks his head up and- GRABS A CHINLOCK? Ted: "TAP! TAP! TAP!" Kelly: Ted wants Jay to tap out to a CHINLOCK? The heck? All of a sudden, Jay starts thrashing and kicking, with new life! His eyes look frantic, he miraculously powers out and counters with a stunner! Kelly: What made him want to get out of a chinlock so badly? Cat: I see it, AW THAT'S NASTY! The camera focuses on Teddy's shorts-HE'S GOT A BONER! Kelly: So THAT'S why he calls it the "Pop Some Wood" chinlock! Jay pulls himself off the mat. Ted gets up at the same time, tries a punch-blocked by Jay. Jay fires back with a punch of his own, whips him into the ropes- leg lariat connects! Kelly: Jay is fired up now! Cat: That's what happens when somebody sticks their dick in your ear! Ted staggers back to one knee- Jay takes advantage and DRILLS him with the Shining Black! Cover! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Kelly: It's gonna take a lot more than that to knock out Ted Weddy! Jay decides to head to the top rope. Ted gets back to his feet, Jay perched on the top- FLYING CROSSBODY! TED CATCHES HIM! Ted: "COOOOOOOOCK...ROCKET!" Ted moves him onto his shoudlers, and SPIKES him on his head with the Cock Rocket! Kelly: THAT'S HIS MOVE, IT'S OVER! NEW CHAMPION! But instead of going for the cover, Ted looks up at the lights! He nods his head, then...STARTS DANCING? Cat: He's doing the Sprinkler Kevin Kelly! Ted is done getting his groove on, then signals he's heading to the top rope. Kelly: Uh oh, he's signalling for the Teddy Two Step! I've seen the tapes, this move can crush a man's chest and end his career! Ted is on the top, but Jay is up! He slams the rope down and CROTCHES Ted! Jay heads to the top, - SUPER FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP! Kelly: He hasn't used that move since he beat Andrew Hyland at School's Out! Jay, still groggy, climbs the ropes again with Ted still down. Kelly: Jay, while an excellent wrestler and brawler, isn't the most athletic type. What does he have planned? Jay on the top, Ted isn't moving. Jay: "THANKS PAUL!" SHOOTING STAR PRESS! IT HITS! COVER! 1! 2! 3!!!! RA: Your winner of the match, and STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING! Kelly: Jay once again narrowly retains his North American title, despite an impressive performance by Ted Weddy! If Ted had gone for the cover of the Cock Rocket, we would have had a new champion! Cat: I'm tellin' ya Kevin Kelly, this Darring kid has nine lives! Jay leaves the ring, title in hand, a look of relief and concern on his face. Kelly: You can tell he and the rest of Featured Attraction are concerned about Lauren, still in a hospital after a horrible ordeal with the Lightning Crew! Cat: Horrible doesn't begin to describe it. PRL should be locked up! Meanwhile, Ted is up, a look of disappointment on his face, Busey consoling him. J-Train heads back into the ring from the crowd, his hands loaded up with wallets and jewelry! J-Train: Hey Tedda, look what I got! Busey: Teddy, I know you're disappointed, but you'll get another shot. In the meantime, I know what can cheer you up. BRING OUT THE PROSTITUTES! Teddy: SWEET! Dozens of bikini-clad women in heavy makeup come out for the entranceway, and start dancing. "What's My Name" fires up over the PA, and strobe lights start flashing! Busey, Ted, and J-Train start grinding with the scantily clad ladies, as the crowd throws it's hands in the air. Kelly: Well, this was an interesting conclusion to Aggression. Cat: You know Kev, I think it's time I made my return to the ring! Cat climbs into the ring and does his trademark breakdancing with the party in the ring! Kelly: For Ernest "The Cat" Miller, I'm Kevin Kelly. Goodnight everybody! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2003 (edited) PROPS~! Producer LaParkaYourCar Writers LaParkaYourCar SpiderPoet Shooter Jay KingPK DonWestMark03 © 2003 OAOAST Productions Edited July 19, 2003 by LaParkaYourCar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
