Sjl crimson, march 30!

March 31, 2002

SJL Crimson Card, Saturday March 30th

The Suicide King/Easter Edition!

Arena: Blue Cross Arena - Rochester, New York

Erek Taylor Promo

- We have a new world champion! It's time for him to lay down his thoughts on the belt.

First Pin Wins Match

Cutthroat vs. Frost vs. T-Bone

TV Title Match

Shawn Brody © vs. Kojack vs. The Dark Reaper

Guest Referee: Ced Ordonez

Singles Match

Mafia vs. "Deathwish" Danny Williams

European Title Match

Mike Van Siclen © vs. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher

Triple Threat Match

Stryke vs. Ash Ketchum vs. Flexxx

March 31, 2002

It's Rochester, New York, that little town near New York that nobody actually knows about. But who actually gives a damn?! They've got that funky arena named after the Blue Cross! That's gotta mean something! Am I right or am I right? Can I get an answer, please?

Ah..... forget it.

Cameras, lights, beer, topless women, and even more lights begin to appear as the opening pyros of SJL Crimson continues down its aerial string before exploding in a giant mass at the top of the ramp. The Smarkstron opens up with its introduction video, showing the greats of the past.

"(Axis) And welcome to SJL Crimson, ladies and gents!"

"(Edwin) Where were we on Metal?"

"(King) Well, you know us announcers, we go to the ring, say the city's great for one day, then we leave and forget the town's name. It's all in a day's work."

"(Axis) Actually, *I* can't even remember."

"(Edwin) Yeah, same here. Oh well, take it Axis."

"(Axis) Well we had a spectacular night on Metal, where Erek Taylor made one of the most historic comebacks I have ever seen. Losing the European Title in the first match of the night and then capping it off by *winning* the World Title in the Main Event!"

"(Edwin) Spectacular."

"(King) Pfft, it's been done."

"(Edwin) Oh yeah, by who?"

"(King) Yours truly. Now bow!"

"(Axis) We've got a crazy show for you tonight, not as crazy as Metal but we TV personalities like to pretend it is, just so we can fatten up our paycheck."

"(King) Words of wisdom from that crazy Axis."

"(Edwin) Well, what's new?"

"(Axis) News! Stryke's back in JL competition."

"(King) Ah yes, Stryke. Now *that* was a guy who you can put your money on. He will make a fine champion."

"(Edwin) No chance in hell! Stryke's too uptight."

"(King) He's serious! Like a real champion should be!"

"(Edwin) Oh yeah?!"

"(King) Yeah!"

"(Edwin) Oh yeah?!"

"(King) Yeah!"

"(Edwin) Oh yeah?!"

"(King & Edwin) YEAH!"

"(Edwin) Jinx!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!"

"(Axis) OooOOO, King, he got you there. Now you can't talk or we'll get to punch you."

"(Edwin) Better."

"(Axis) Well, we're just moments away from the interview with Erek Taylor. He'll be down shortly but what do you think we can expect from tonight's lineup?"

"(King) I th-"

"(Edwin) HEY! You can't talk!"

"(King) Why don't you try and stop me?"

"(Edwin) Um....no thanks."

"(King) I think that the Triple Threat Main Event should be a good one. Stryke will be taking that idiotic Porno Star and the Pokemon Lover to school. That's final."

"(Axis) Anything else?"

"(King) No, that's it. Get that stupid champion down here."

As soon as the card disappears away from the Smarkstron, the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off, making the Blue Cross Arena like Studio 54. Finally, as the lights in the arena begin to dim, the intoxicating beat of "Toxicity" begins to play, sending the missile-like projectile down from the sky. The projectile explodes on impact, erupting and sending a chain reaction of pyrotechnics to explode. Smoke begins to rise, concealing the black curtains as the fans in the arena explode with cheers. The center lights begin to return to normal and all the spotlights direct their beams at the top of the ramp, where only the shadow of Erek Taylor can be seen.

"(Funyon) Coming down the ring, from Anaheim, California, weighing at 215 pounds, he is the SJL WOORRLLLD Champion!! EREK!! TAAAYYLOOORRR!!!"

Once more, the crowds erupt in countless numbers, chanting and hooting and screaming for the High Flying Prince. Taylor mindlessly spins around from his crouching pose, the World Title strapped around his waist.

"(Axis) And here is your champion, Erek Taylor!"

"(King) It was a fluke, I tell ya! A FLUKE!"

Taylor races down the ramp, sliding into the ring and jumping back up to his feet. Funyon reaches out with the microphone but Taylor grabs Funyon by the arm and pulls the veteran announcer in, giving the old man a big hug!

"(Edwin) Oh my, how touching."

"(Axis) I WANT A HUG!"

"(King) I swear, if he gives me a hug, he'll be dead before he lands down."

Taylor lets Funyon go and snatches the microphone away before bringing it up to his lips. The High Flying Prince pauses as the millions join together in a "Erek! Erek!" chant.

"(Erek) Rochester, New York!!! WHOOO!!! [cheap pop] How fitting for me, the new SJL Champion, to be in Rochester. I can never ever measure up to this great town. It's got everything I always wanted. Lots of great racing roads, lots of great cars, lots of great houses, lots of great chicks, and a fine scenery! [more cheap pops]"

Taylor pauses as another "Erek!" chant begins to be heard but it quickly dies down as Taylor begins to speak once more.

"(Erek) Heading into Metal, I was the SJL European Champion. Not only that, but I was the *longest* reigning European Champion EVER! So I called my old fried Miami Native, that's right, I called him a fried Native! LONGDOGGER PETE! Uh huh, unfortunately, LDP drank too much last night and he's down with a major hangover. But before he got himself drunk, danced like a idiot, and made Low Brass look like Britney Spears, he told me exactly how long my reign was. And so, I give you the longest reigning European Champion with a grand total of.....

74 days with the title!!! [major pops]"

"(Erek) Uh huh, and now I see Axis glaring at me."

All eyes turn to the announcer's table, where Axis is indeed glaring at Erek Taylor.

"(Edwin) Uh, Axis, you okay?"

"(Axis) ......."

"(King) Hehehehehehe."

"(Erek) Okay! Let me just turn this way before Axis throws a pepsi can at m- OW!"

Too late. A pepsi can flies in from the announcers' table and hits Erek on the head.

"(Erek) Hey, that hurt!"

"(Axis) It better....."

"(Erek) Now back to my illustrious interview. I've got a blueprint, you see [pulls out long blue paper] and I'm following it as good as I can. See, I've got the European Title covered, now I have to talk about the World Title, then I'll introduce my special guest who will come down and entertain you Rochester folks [cheap pop] with a nice song."

"(Erek) Well, it was in fact a dream come true for this little kid. I never thought I would outlast four other guys to come out on top. Never. Even the odds were stacked against me. I had to fight three guys earlier in the show and I lost. And Mike Van Siclen, you deserve that title until I reek of suckitude and go down and win it back. That said, I'd like to congradulate the new father, Ash Ketchum, for knocking Misty up and not denying it! [more pops]"

The crowds nod in approval before breaking into laughter as Erek goes on.

"(Erek) My, I'm going to be Uncle Erek! Anyways, I'm laying down the thoughts. When I went into this very ring, stared at that unforgiving monster whose name is what Lennux Lewis gets every night he fights, I was very scared. In fact, I was so scared... that Ash peed in his pants. Uh huh, Ash pissed in his pants for me, just because I can't. So Ash, buddy, thank you for your support, thank you for all the great matches we've been in, and thank you for making me your kid's godfather..."

"(Erek) What? I can't say that? Whatever. Anyways, now that the World Title issue is taken care of, let me bring down my special guest!! Since it's Easter, it's only fitting that the Easter Bunny come down and greet us!! HIT IT!!!"

On that cue, techno music begins to play and all lights begin to flash as a giant Easter Bunny steps out from behind the curtains and begins walking down the ramp. Taylor begins hopping up and down as the Easter Bunny tosses many chocolate eggs to the crowds, even hitting a small child with it, poor kid.... The Easter Bunny rolls into the ring and hops over, shaking hands with Taylor before throwing more chocolate eggs into the crowds.

"(Axis) Heh, the Easter Bunny....."

"(King) HE'S NOT ON THE GOD DAMN SCHEDULE! SECURITY!"

"(Edwin) Oh come on King, let it go...."

"(Erek) Now Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny, I've brought you down for a good reason....... and that reason is........ and I'm sure the great Eddie Mac would agree...... to BREAKDANCE!!! HIT THE MUSIC!!"

At that moment, more techno music begins to play and the Easter Bunny drops down, performing a never ending windmill before switching up into a Spineroonie. The Easter Bunny drops down and begins to flip into........ THE WORMM!!!!!!!!! The crowds erupt in laughter and cheers as the Easter Bunny jumps back up and does....... THE ROBOT!!!

"(Axis) Hahahahahahahahaaha!!!"

"(Edwin) Enough! I'm going up there!!! WHOOO!!!"

Edwin MacPhisto jumps from his seat and slides into the ring, immediately getting into the groove as he too does The Robot with the Easter Bunny. Eddie Mac clears up the ring and in the middle, begins to do a windmill of his own! The Easter Bunny and Erek Taylor hop up and down, clapping hands as they watch their commissioner break it down!

"(Erek) YOUR COMMISSIONER, LADIES AND GENTS!!"

The crowds erupt once more as Eddie Mac now takes his chance at The Worm, and executes it perfectly! Suddenly, all cheers disappear and boos quickly take their places as "Break Stuff" begins to play. The signature blue flame pyrotechnics erupts, clearing all the smoke and sparks, revealing Stryke standing at the top of the ramp.

"(Axis) Stryke! What is he doing here?!"

"(King) Oh great, another Aussie....."

Stryke stands for a moment, a microphone in hand as the Rochester crowd pours down another wave of hatred.

"(Stryke) Man, shut the f*ck up! All of you b*tches know that none of you can stand up to me and say that to my face. Now, I came back to the SJL for a challenge, a mission, a quest for the SJL World Title. But I never realized that the champion would be a goofball who thinks having the title is all fun."

Taylor begins to shrug and looks to The Easter Bunny, who shrugs as well.

"(Stryke) You know damn well what I'm talking about, Taylor! You don't f*cken deserve that title! I've gone through hell to get my ass back here and I find you being the champ and that *really* ticks me off. That's a bitchen slap across my face!"

"(Erek) Now now, Strykie, hold your pants up and WAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTT!!! [cheap pop] while I shine my title up real nice so I can hopefully ricochet some light to blind your sorry ass."

"(Stryke) Hardy har har.... very funny. Not! Taylor, we both know that when you step into the ring with me, I will thoroughly tear you from limb to limb and claim what is rightfully mine, the SJL World Championship. I want to ask, what have you done to get to where you are today?"

Taylor thinks for a moment, pondering for an answer but Stryke cuts the High Flying Prince off with his very own answer.

"(Stryke) I'll tell you what you've done. You've done jack squat! What have I done? I've beaten LDP, Ash Ketchum, Xero, Low Brass, and all those damn jobbers and I still haven't won the title? Is it because I'm not good enough?! NO! I'M THAT GOOD AND ALL YOU F*GS IN THIS CRAPPY TOWN KNOW IT! [thunderous boos] Erek Taylor, I suggest you take pride with that title because when I rip it away from your cold beaten body, I'll make sure I will take your dignity away too."

"(Erek) Now now Stryke. You may be *that* good but I am *that* much better. [pops] I may not be experienced as you, not as strong as you, but they don't call me the High Flying Prince for nothing. If you want to fight me, if you even want to lay a single finger on me! You'll have to catch me first."

"(Stryke) Catch you? Is that one of your pathetic games? This is the big leagues and you should act like it! CHAMPIONS SHOULD BE SERIOUS! They should not be goofy, make jokes, dance with some 10 dollar Rabbit Suit!"

"(Erek) Oh, and how would you know?"

"(Stryke) May I remind you that I am a former Double Champion, holding the TV and the Euro belts? I know what a champion should act like and that is serious, respectable, suitable for their peers to look up to."

"(Erek) Well let me tell you something. I don't give a damn if you were a former Double Champion. So what if you had the TV and Euro Titles at the same time? They only lasted 4 days each! [pop] And you think being a Double Champ makes you that much better? Well, let me tell you again, I am a former European Champion. Correction, I am *THE* European Champion. Sure, I may not have the title now, but I prized that title with all I had and I gave it a record breaking reign. Did you do that? NO! What else? I was *also* a Double Champion with the Stables Titles, so what do you have to say now?! Huh?! Huh?! Nothing out of your ugly mouth, eh?"

"(Stryke) Erek, your points are valid, but you have never gone up against suitable opponents. So I'll leave, give you your moment, but I have one thing to say to you. And that is to watch your back, mother f*cker."

"Break Stuff" kicks up again, Stryke leaving the arena and heading backstage with countless boos aimed at him. Taylor stands at the center, motionless as he absorbs the meaning of Stryke's words.

"(Axis) Well folks, Stryke just threatened the World Champion."

"(King) Threaten? Merely warned."

"(Axis) Hopefully this is just for tonight...."

"(King) And hopefully, my boy Stryke will prove you wrong."

Taylor rolls out of the ring, in no mood for any more celebrations. The High Flying Prince heads up the ramp, disappearing into the curtains as the card pops up on the Smarkstron again, showing the first match of the night: Cutthroat vs T-Bone vs Frost. May the best man win.

March 31, 2002

Funyon: “Our first match tonight is a Triple Threat encounter, first pinfall wins. Introducing our first competitor, weighing in at 297 lbs. and hailing from Reykjavik, Iceland, making his SJL debut, Frooooooost!”

The blaring guitar riff opening of “Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” fills the arena and the massive Frost struts coolly into the aisle way, a sneer on his face and a glint in his eye. The fans are not quite sure what to make of him, but instinctively a light chorus of boos mixes with the pounding rock music. Frost pulls himself up to the ring apron and steps over the top rope to enter the squared circle. He raises a closed fist to the audience and let’s loose a deep, bellowing growl.

Axis: “A former Icelandic heavyweight champion and a force in that small part of the world for the past several years, Frost has finally come stateside and SJL side to ply his trade on a much bigger stage.”

King: “Ah, he almost reminds me of myself when I was young with that menacing scowl and chiseled physique. Minus the potential to be an SWF world champion, of course.”

Edwin: (under his breath) “And minus the herpes.”

King: “What was that?”

Edwin: “Nothing, jelly bean?” (Edwin holds up a brightly colored Easter basket full of treats from underneath the commentators’ table and King shoots him a look of disgust)

Funyon: “Our second competitor this evening is making his wrestling return. From Sonoma, California and weighing in at 275 lbs., Teeeeeeeeeee-Bone!”

With that the arena lights blacken and bells toll over the sound system. All eyes turn to the big screen at the top of the entrance way as T-Bone’s apparent demise from his last federation run is shown and then refuted with the phrase “He….has returned.” The lights spark back up and T-Bone is already half way down the ring aisle. The crowd roars at the return of one of their favorite mid-carders and T-Bone returns the appreciation by flexing his right arm and making his steak sauce bottle tattoo dance. The fans go even wilder. T-Bone slides under the bottom rope of the ring and quickly leaps up to the second turnbuckle of the nearest corner. He producers a bottle of steak sauce from his leather jacket, let’s the audience get a good look at it, and takes a healthy swig. He tosses the bottle to a smiling, blonde babe in the first row and then spits a geyser of steak sauce high into the air for all to see. It splatters all over his face and the ring corner, but T-Bone could care less as he basks in the adoration of the crowd.

Axis: “Whoever thought we would see the Sultan of Steak Sauce again?”

King: “Whoever wanted to?”

Edwin: “Do you think steak sauce would be good on an Easter egg?” (Edwin plucks a hardboiled egg out of his basket and meticulously peels the bright colored shell off in tiny increments with the deft hands of a surgeon)

Funyon: “And finally, from Greenwich, Connecticut at a weight of 244 lbs. it’s Cutthrooooooooat!”

“My Way” by Limp Bizkit kicks on and an explosion of light fills the arena as Cutthroat comes out to a huge pop from the crowd, even louder than the one for the returning T-Bone. Before Cutthroat can play to his loving fans, he sees that Frost has decided to start their match early and is already beating on T-Bone in the ring. Cutthroat sprints down to the squared circle while pulling off his orange shirt and starts clubbing Frost from behind with forearms to slow his pummeling of T-Bone.

DING DING DING

The match is officially underway with T-Bone and Cutthroat joining forces to beat Frost down with punches and the kick.

Axis: “The newcomer Frost wastes no time in going for his first win and is attacked by the more experienced SJLer Cutthroat, who is still looking for his first win here as well.”

King: “Replace “experienced” with “loser.”

Edwin: “Bloody hell, the inside of my egg is red, must be from a Martian chicken.”

Axis: “That’s the dye.”

Edwin: “Dye?”

The pair whip Frost into the ropes and link arms for a double team clothesline. Frost just manages to duck his 6 foot 7 frame under the outstretched arms. The stunned duo turns around to meet Frost thundering from the opposite side of the ring with clotheslines for each of them. Both men go down and roll over on their stomachs. Frost looks first at one man and then the other like a lion trying to pick out the weakest prey to attack and chooses to stomp down Cutthroat with boots to the back of his head. This time it is T-Bone’s turn to make the save. He grabs Frost by the shoulder, spins him around and chops the big man all the way back into the corner. Frost looks more annoyed than anything and deftly reverses positions with T-Bone and delivers an overhand slap to the chest that can be heard through out the building. The crowd “ooh’s” in sympathy. Frost whips T-Bone across the ring where he takes a turnbuckle in the back and slumps in the corner. In no hurry, Frost slowly strides over to him, but is tripped up by the recovered Cutthroat. Frost falls awkwardly to the mat and lands on his face. Cutthroat drops a series of knees to the back of Frost’s neck until T-Bone cuts him off with a clothesline.

Axis: “T-Bone is looking much more aggressive than last we saw him, perhaps hoping that a new attitude will push him to new winning ways.”

Edwin: “Ok, this is a blue egg, so that’s Neptune right?”

King: “Try Uranus.”

Cutthroat goes down as boos for T-Bone go up. He pays them no mind and locks Frost in the Crippler Crossface, hoping for an early submission. Frost growls in agony and tries to reach back and grab T-Bone’s head but he keeps rearing back and applies more pressure, the veins in his arms bulging from the effort. The ref asks Frost if he wants to give up and he responds with a muffled “never.” Out of nowhere, Cutthroat comes crashing down on the back of T-Bone with a shooting star press from the top rope. The audience goes nuts with cheering. T-Bone breaks his hold on Frost and Cutthroat applies the same crossface to T-Bone. Not one of his most used holds, Cutthroat breaks the move after a few painful seconds once he believes T-Bone has gotten the message and picks him up off the mat. He teases the Slice Punch to the crowd and they chant “Cut-throat, Cut-throat.” He fires away, catching T-Bone right on the button of his chin. The steak sauce fanatic’s eyes roll back into his head and his body turns stiff as a board as he timbers to the mat due to the awesome power of the Slice Punch. Frost has groggily reached his feet and is leaning on the ropes rubbing the back of his injured neck. Cutthroat teases another Slice Punch for Frost, the crowd shouts their approval and he steps in for the blow. However, Frost was playing opossum, ducks the blow and steps into an Ice Shelf. Cutthroat bounces a good two feet off of the mat and arches his back in agony. Frost jumps to his feet, raises a closed fist to the audience and screams.

(At ringside King puts five cigarettes into his mouth at one time and lights them all. He puffs on them and blows smoke in the general direction of Edwin and Axis.)

Axis: “*cough* what are you doing man?”

King: (doing his best to talk around the cigarettes) “Hoping to kill the two of you with second hand smoke. I don’t think they can arrest me for that and I figured it would go faster this way.” (King blows a thick cloud of smoke directly at Axis)

Axis: “*kaff* Haven’t you seen those anti-smoking and drug commercials? *cough* You need to find an anti-drug”

King: “I have. Making you two miserable.”

King: “My anti-drug is Peeps.” (Edwin routs in his basket for some)

Frost picks up T-Bone, looking to hit him with an Ice Shelf as well. T-Bone smacks Frost upside his head with an elbow to break. Frost is only momentarily dazed and T-Bone fires another elbow, and another, and another. Frost is finally forced to break and clutch his ringing ear. T-Bone goes behind Frost and grabs him around the waist. With a deep breath and a silent prayer he picks the giant man up off the mat and holds him in mid-air for what seems like an eternity. The longer T-Bone holds Frost up the louder the crowd becomes until finally T-Bone flings Frost back to finish the German suplex and drop him straight on the back of his neck. The impact is so vicious that T-Bone cannot hold the bridge and is forced to break the waistlock. He pops to his feet and, brimming with confidence, struts to the pleasure of the crowd and drops a fist to Frost’s face. He covers.

ONE

TWO

Cutthroat breaks from behind with a kick to the back of T-Bone’s head.

Axis: “A nick of time save by Cutthroat. It’s every man for himself.”

Edwin: “murph gurgoat mo.”

Axis: “I can’t understand you, Edwin, with your mouthful of those marshmallow Peeps.”

Edwin: (swallows the mouthful of Peeps with a cartoonish gulp noise) “I have to combat the Suicide’s King’s evil cigarette smoke with the holy goodness of the sweet, nectar of heaven Peeps.” (he shakes a handful of purple Peeps at Axis and mashes them into his mouth)

(King expertly holds the five cigarettes in his fingers and blows smoke rings to the ceiling while humming “Smoking in the Boys Room.”)

T-Bone stands up to deal with Cutthroat who has run to the ropes. He comes off with a flying forearm that sends T-Bone hurtling to the floor. Cutthroat grabs the top rope and baseball slides to the outside, catching T-Bone full in his side. T-Bone hits the guardrail and grimaces with pain. He clutches his ribs and tries to walk it off, but Cutthroat catches him by his hair, spins him around and deftly suplexes him right on the floor. A very angry Frost breaks up the referee’s count on both men. His face is bright red, as Frost can’t believe that he has let these two get the best of him. Frost steps over the top rope and stands on the apron. He waits for Cutthroat to stand up from his suplex and then comes crashing down with an axehandle to the crown of his skull. Cutthroat crumples straight down to the floor. Frost picks T-Bone up off of the floor and into a Gorilla press. He tosses him through the second rope in a bold display of strength and then does the same to Cutthroat.

Axis: “I’ve seen a lot of power wrestlers in my time, folks, but Frost could ride that talent alone to the SJL championship.”

King: “Now, that I’m retired, of course.” (he ashes on Edwin’s shoes)

(Edwin looks down with a frown and spits a wad of Peep goo onto King’s shoes)

King: “Hey, these are three hundred dollar Gucci loafers I’ll have you know.”

Edwin: (stuffing more Peeps into his mouth) “Mo muck ‘ourmelf!”

Frost jumps back to the apron and climbs back into the ring as the ref reaches eight on his count. Frost picks Cutthroat up off the canvas. He leans his head up against Frost’s chest while Frost growls at the fans. They boo louder at him than before, fully realizing that this is not a guy they want to see win. Swinging neckbreaker on Cutthroat and Frost lateral presses for the cover.

ONE

TWO

THRE

T-Bone crashes down with an axehandle to the back of Frost’s head for the save. Frost rolls out of the way and T-Bone lateral presses Cutthroat his self.

ONE

TWO

Cutthroat kicks out and rolls to his feet. T-Bone whips Cutthroat into the ropes and catches him coming off with a fisherman’s buster for a pin.

ONE

TWO

THRE

Frost wraps one of his meaty biceps around T-Bone’s neck and picks him straight up off the canvas in yet another awesome feat of strength and brainbusters him. T-Bone’s head strikes the mat at a sharp angle and his body lies limp on the canvas.

Axis: “I hate to break up this exciting spate of ring action and near falls, but I’ve just been informed by the head of management here at the Blue Cross Arena that you have to put out those cigarettes, Suicide King.”

King: “Yes, whoever would have thought that the Blue Cross would be against smoking? I’ll smack them upside their head with a Blue Shield.” (King tosses his half smoked cigarettes down and grounds them out with his now messed up shoes)

Frost hooks the leg for the cover.

ONE

TWO

THRE

Cutthroat is too weak to break the pin, but he crawls over to T-Bone outside of the ref’s field of vision and places his leg on the bottom rope before yelling, “check his leg.” The ref looks up, sees the leg on the ropes and taps Frost on the shoulder to break the pin. He scowls at the ref before pulling T-Bone to his wobbly feet. Frost glances at Cutthroat, still gaining his breath on the canvas, and then cinches T-Bone for a sling shot suplex. Frost spins halfway to his feet and drops an elbow to T-Bone’s face. He hooks the leg on the cover.

ONE

TWO

Cutthroat tries to break the pin with a leg drop, but Frost senses him and rolls off. Cutthroat nails T-Bone. Cutthroat’s look of shock is enhanced when he feels Frost hoisting him up from behind by his blonde locks. Frost locks in the Cobra Clutch and squeezes the fan idol for all he’s worth.

Axis: “They are also upset with you for ashing and grinding out your cigarettes on the floor. They have a concert here tomorrow night to prepare for after we leave.”

King: “And what non-smoker would that be?”

Axis: “Ex-Monkee Peter Tork.”

Edwin: (still eating Peeps) “Meter Mork, ‘oly mit!”

Cutthroat’s eyes bug out of his head and his arms flail around, as he is lost for anything to break the Cobra Clutch. The referee checks Cutthroat’s arm by lifting it up high in the air, it falls limp as his eyes flutter shut. The referee lifts the arm again and again it falls. Frost cackles a sick laugh to the crowd, his eyes shining with hatred and he clamps down harder. The fans erupt with “Cut-throat, Cut-throat” chants and wave their purple lettered signs high in the air. The arm goes up again and falls for a thir…no wait. Cutthroat holds the arm scant inches away from his side with all of his fading strength. The crowd screams louder and Cutthroat pulls his arm up higher and higher and his eyes fly back open. Frost ratchets down on the hold, but the power of the fans have Cutthroat above feeling it. T-Bone climbs back to his feet, sees what’s going on and hammers away with punches to Cutthroat’s midsection. This stops Cutthroat’s comeback, but Frost throws him out of the ring with a Cobra Slam and glares at T-Bone with a look of “what the hell do you think you’re doing?” The referee turns to count Cutthroat out of the ring. T-Bone, wide eyed, backs off from Frost and holds his hands up in apologetic fashion. Frost clotheslines T-Bone to the floor and turns his attention to the other side of the ring where Cutthroat had fallen.

Axis: “Frost is making it known early that he wants no allies here in the SJL. Edwin, it’s not a smart idea to go in this federation without any backing.”

Edwin: “Frost is convinced that all he needs is him, himself, and his Auntie Griszelda.”

Frost misses T-Bone landing on his feet and running for his leather jacket on the arena floor. T-Bone pulls a second bottle of steak sauce out of his jacket and silently slides back into the ring. Cutthroat has pulled himself back up to the ring apron and Frost waves him to come back in. T-Bone rears back with the steak sauce bottle high over his head and charges Frost with an instinctive scream of intent. Frost turns just in time to dodge the shot and send T-Bone running into Cutthroat who takes the bottle full in the forehead and he drops back to the floor with a thud.

Axis: “The referee does not see the bottle due to Frost’s hulking body being in the way, saving a sure disqualification.

Frost schoolboy’s T-Bone from behind and the bottle flies out of his hand back to the arena floor.

ONE

TWO

T-Bone rolls through it and makes his feet. Frost follows and catches T-Bone with a Russian leg sweep before he can react and covers again.

ONE

TWO

T-Bone kicks out and sends Frost into the ropes. The ref is focused on the action in the ring and has forgot about Cutthroat lying unconscious on the outside.

Edwin: “I should rush Cutthroat over some Peeps to make him feel better.”

King: “You should rush me some nicotine patches to make me feel better.” (King reaches into Edwin’s Easter basket for some jellybeans)

Edwin: (slapping his hand away) “You had your chance for some goodies, Mean Mr. Mustard.”

Axis: “That is a Beatles song, not a Monkees song.”

Edwin: “Well, why don’t you jump the last train to Clarksville and have a pleasant valley Sunday.”

T-Bone makes with a textbook classic spinebuster and follows with another strutting fist drop. T-Bone stands up with a smirk and flexes his steak sauce bottle tattoo again to the thrill of the crowd, despite the heelish work of T-Bone for good portions of the match. Frost struggles to his feet and T-Bone clamps on a face lock and readies for the reverse DDT. Frost pushes T-Bone into the ropes and uses the momentum to wiggle free. He whips T-Bone into the ropes and backdrops him. Leg drop, and Frost pins.

ONE

TWO

T-Bone puts his feet on the ropes to break. Frost pulls T-Bone to his feet and hooks him for the Ice Pick. T-Bone pushes Frost into the ropes to wiggle free and then shoots Frost into the ropes, this time using his momentum to score a dangerous backdrop. Frost’s neck hits the canvas with a thump and T-Bone pops up top for a clothesline. He stands there measuring Frost and waiting for him to get up. Frost slowly rolls over to his knees and grabs the back of his very sore neck.

Axis: “While T-Bone has obviously shelved much of his old high flying arsenal for a more ground based attack he can still go up top like no other man his size.”

King: “You have not been talking to the same girls I have been then.”

Frost staggers to his feet and T-Bone jumps off with an impressive leap, flying halfway across the ring. Frost side steps the sailing grappler slightly and catches him with a bearhug. Frost stumbles backwards from the bulk of a man only a little smaller than he is, but finally gains his footing. Frost spins T-Bone sideways and looks to go for his patented fall away slam. Suddenly, Cutthroat appears on the apron with a huge gash across his forehead from the shot with the steak sauce bottle. Blood is smeared on his face and his blonde hair has taken a dirty, red hue. Cutthroat is visibly feeble, but the crowd pops loud and he draws from the cheers for strength.

Axis: “Incredibly, Cutthroat is not out of this contest by a long shot, despite being battered and bloodied.”

King: “I remember one match when I was the SWF champion, I took two, no three, steak sauce bottles to the head. I bled over myself, the ring, the floor; it looked like the blood gushing out of the elevators in The Shining. I can bleed much better, that is a paper cut.”

Edwin: (holding up a stack of papers from in front of him) “You know we should do a paper cut demonstration on you for the folks at home. Just slit you all over and have the people at home know the horrors of paper cuts before they need Blue Cross to cover their injuries.”

Axis: “Edwin, eat your Peeps.”

Cutthroat climbs up to the top turnbuckle from the outside and flies off with a missile dropkick to T-Bone’s back. Frost topples over from the blast and T-Bone falls on top for a pin.

ONE

TWO

Frost rolls T-Bone off and stands up to walk right into a Slice Kick. The crowd goes wild as Frost spins around from the power of the blow and goes to one knee. Another Slice Kick and Frost spins more around and collapses to the mat. Cutthroat drops down to the canvas to make the cover, but T-Bone puts a hand on his shoulder and pulls him back up. He points at Frost and suggests that the two of them should pick him up and go for a double team move. Cutthroat shrugs his shoulders to say “why not?” and the pair pulls Frost to his feet and set up a double suplex.

Axis: “Smart strategy by T-Bone to stop a sure win for Cutthroat without drawing his ire, wouldn’t you say, Edwin?”

(Edwin points to his mouth crammed with Peeps again on Axis’ say so and Axis sighs a beaten man)

Frost blocks the suplex. The two wrestlers cinch tighter and try it again. Frost blocks, digs down deep, and suplexes both men up and over. The crowd pops for the move on the display of raw power alone. All three men are out and lie on the canvas sucking for air. Cutthroat has stopped bleeding, but traces of red smear his chest and tights and the tights of the other grapplers. T-Bone and Frost make their feet first. T-Bone strides right up to Frost, pokes him in the chest and screams, “You are my A-1 steak sauce, BITCH!” and hoists Frost up for the T-Bone Crusher. He cannot hold the big man, however, and is forced to fall back into a regular suplex to the disappointment of the crowd. Cutthroat has made his feet and as T-Bone stands he is greeted with the Slicer and falls into the corner limp.

Axis: “Slicer!”

Edwin: “Mliger!”

King: “Yeah, Slicer, whatever.”

Cutthroat stomps T-Bone down in the corner and then picks him up for the Final Cutter. Before he can execute the finisher, Frost grabs Cutthroat from behind with a waistlock and German suplexes him over, while a still gripped T-Bone takes a DDT and rolls to the floor out of it. Frost yanks Cutthroat to his feet and hurls him into the ropes with gusto. He catches him hard in the chest with Touch of Frost and as Cutthroat doubles over in pain, Frost hooks him through the arms and slams him with the Early Winter.

ONE

TWO

THREE

DING DING DING

The referee looks to hold Frost’s arm up in victory, but he shakes him off with a sneer and raises his own arm in triumphant

Funyon: (from ringside) “Here is your winner in his debut. The Iceman from Iceland, Frost!”

The crowd showers him with boos. Frost turns to each four sides of the auditorium with his arm out for all of them to see.

Frost: “An impressive win for the SJL rookie.”

King: “The frost on my hotel room window this morning could have done those two in and I could beat Frost without breaking my cool.”

Edwin: “I’m writing a no-puns rule into the SJL rulebook.”

(Axis looks at Edwin questioningly and he slinks down in his chair like a scolded schoolboy caught red handed)

T-Bone climbs back to the apron, realizing the match is over, but still looking to save face. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle and the crowd’s jeers morph to cheers. Frost senses something wrong and turns around to meet a flying clothesline full in the chest. Frost rolls to the floor and pounds the ring apron in rage. T-Bone struts in the ring while Frost walks backwards up the aisle way pointing a finger at T-Bone and holding the back of his sore neck. T-Bone rubs his own sore neck and points back at Frost. Cutthroat comes up from behind and suckers T-Bone with the Final Cutter.

Axis: “Cutthroat wants to repay T-Bone for his numerous treacheries in this match and costing him a victory after that second Slice Kick. I believe we have not seen the end of these three men against each other.”

King: “Please, can’t we?”

The crowd pops huge, but Cutthroat is too bloody and injured to acknowledge their cheers as he slumps back to the dressing room. T-Bone finally recovers, flexes his tattoo like nothing happened and struts to the back to a mixed chorus of yay’s and boos.

March 31, 2002

The cameras quickly take a fast view of the backstage area before we return to the match, picturing the hallways in particular. A figure sweeps by and as the camera focuses in, it's the figure of the High Flying Prince, Erek Taylor! The crowds rejoice in cheers as Taylor steps in front of a door, looking at a logo that has been painted on with obvious professionalism.

On the door, the words "STRYKE" are painted on, with outlining, shadows, underlining, etc. The Australian Devil is nowhere to be seen but Erek Taylor knocks on the door. What is he doing? Hoping for a death wish? HE'S CRAZY!

Taylor waits for a moment but waits no longer as the door swings wide open and Stryke steps out, not expecting the man who he just insulted to be there.

"(Stryke) What the hell are you doing here?"

"(Erek) Look, Stryke, I'm a nice guy and I'm sorry if I insulted your pride in any way outside."

"(Stryke) Excuse me?"

"(Erek) So, I would like to start over and maybe we can be friends."

"(Stryke) So you're giving up on our fight already? I should have known, you're nothing but a wimp!"

"(Erek) Hey, I just wanted to start over. I don't like grudges much!"

"(Stryke) Scared, Taylor? Of course you are. You don't deserve that title. You can't even stand up straight and say you're afraid. Instead, you come here with this bullsh*t that you want some craptacular friendship. Well, why don't you go back to your locker room, tie up your shoelaces kid, and if you still think you want to be friends, come back here so I can put my fist through your head."

"(Erek) Man, what the f*ck is your problem? I never did sh*t to you!"

"(Stryke) My problem? My problem is you! Everyone's all 'He deserved it' crap and kissing your feet, Taylor. You don't deserve that title. You have done nothing to deserve it! Everyone's treating you like some king, not seeing that you're just a slacker, a lazy b*tch who just wants to have fun. Well, have fun on the ground!"

Stryke lunges forward, shoving Taylor straight into the opposite wall. Taylor falls on his behind as Stryke quickly slams the door shut. The camera focuses in on Taylor's eyes, which burn with fury....

March 31, 2002

We fade back into a shot of Shawn Brody, the Fallen Angel, pacing the Clan locker room in his wrestling attire and black Clannie robe. He stops and turns to a monitor and watches...

The camera zooms to the screen and airs a black limo pulling into the parking lot with a screech.

“Hey Edwin, someone’s arriving.”

“That’s a limo fit for a King, Axis!” Suicide King chimes in. “Wages must have really taken a rise around here.”

The car stops and the engine dies down.

“Click.”

The driver’s door opens and out steps the driver himself. He adjusts his suit and goes to the passenger’s door. He opens it.

“Jacob Helmsley!” Edwin announces as Jake steps out from the limo.

He shouts to the humble driver.

“Grab my bags.”

With that, the two head for Jake’s locker room with the driver toting two large gym bags.

Brody scoffs and resumes his pacing.

“He must be waiting for the Superior One.” Axis starts. “He hasn’t arrived here at the arena yet.”

“A late flight, maybe?”

Brody’s pacing comes to a halt once more. His head perks up as he hears Kojack’s/Reaper’s music kick up and the roar of the fans. A look from Brody brings Melissa out of her chair and to her feet. She snatches his TV title as he blasts through the locker room door. Melissa shuts it and chases after him, trying to keep up with his pace.

Edwin pipes in. “It’s time for the match and Flesher isn’t here? This cannot be a good sign for the Fallen Angel.”

Fade...

March 31, 2002

SK: I am The Suicide King and I am about to grace this show with my presence from commentary!

Axis: Well it¡¯s a 3 way match for the T.V title. Kojack vs The Dark Reaper vs Shawn Brody!

Edwin: With the special guest ref! CED!

SK: Well I should have been the special guest ref.

Edwin: What an ego.

SK: I would like an egoo!

Axis: Lego of my egoo!

Edwin: Uhh guys, aren¡¯t you saying it wrong?

SK: NO! YOUR SAYING IT WRONG JEALOUS BOY!

Axis: WA PING!

Eska comes kicking from the IGN Speakers as the crowd goes wild. Ced comes out with a ref shirt cut off at the shoulders to show his arms. Ced slides into the ring and waits for the other wrestlers to come out.

Axis: Here is our guest ref CED!

SK: BAH! We shall see if he can even count to 3.

Funyon: This match is..

Funyon is cut off with the arena going dark blue and ¡°Boom¡± by P.O.D comes out of the speakers as the crowd begins to boo.

BOOM!

Here comes the..

BOOM!

The that second boom, a shot of gold pyro comes out into the sky. The crowd continues to boo as Kojack walks down the ramp and slides into the ring.

Edwin: Well here is the improving Kojack!

SK: This guy improves everyday.

THUD!

Then on the speakers you see a big man walking down the road.

THUD,THUD,THUD!

The ligts go off and you hear a voice say ¡°I¡¯m Back¡±. The lights comes back and a shot of pyro comes out. Then Control by Puddle of Mudd comes out of the speakers and the crowd goes wild as The Dark Reaper starts walking down the ring. The Dark Reaper enters the ring and faces Kojack.

SK: This guy is just old and very sluggish!

Axis: No he isn¡¯t. HE IS THE BIG AND STRON DARK REAPER!

Edwin: A Dark Reaper mark aren¡¯t we?

Lastly, The eerie sound of Darkest Days begin. Then the sound of bells jingling. The lights dim and strobe lights go off and Shawn Brody comes out and walks to the ring. The crowd starts booing again for Shawn Brody.

Axis: This man is our T.V Champion and has a good reign.

Edwin: He has been impressive to say the least.

SK: Impressive? Yes. Ever going to get to my level? Nope!

Ding Ding Ding!

Axis: Well we are underway as Ced has rung the bell.

Edwin: I wonder if Ced is going to fix this match for someone.

All three men start circling the ring as Kojack makes the first move at The Dark Reaper. Kojack ties up The Dark Reaper with an elbow and collar tie up. Kojack manages to get a headlock into The Dark Reaper but is pushed into the ropes. Kojack bounces back and is knocked down with a shoulder block. Shawn just looks as Kojack charges The Dark Reaper and is sent up and down with a hip toss. Ced then grabs Shawn and throws him into the action as he is lifted up and dropped down with a hip toss. Kojack surprises The Dark Reaper with a clothesline from behind and he starts the stomping fest. Shawn Brody joins in too as The Dark Reaper tries to cover his head. Kojack pulls The Dark Reaper up and scoops him up and slams him down with a scoop slam. Shawn follows this up with a knee drop right into the heart of The Dark Reaper. Both men start stomping again and pull up The Dark Reaper and whips him into the ropes. They lock arms and holds them up for the Dark Reaper to run into and making a double clothesline. Shawn Brody picks up The Dark Reaper and throws him to the outside and gives a little trash talking. When he turns around, Kojack throws out a few jabs into the face of Shawn Brody. The ropes stretch as the body Of Shawn is whipped into it and he is lifted up into the air. Kojack shows his power and drops him down for a press slam. Kojack gets up and jumps off to bounce off the second ropes and drops down his leg on Shawn Brody for a springboard leg drop. Kojack covers up Shawn as Ced goes down for the count.

One, Tw..

Axis: No! Kick Out!

Edwin: Hmm seemed like a fast count.

SK: Tis it did! I demand another ref!

Axis: Well Ced and Shawn haven¡¯t been on good terms.

Edwin: Well they hate each others guts!

SK: Well I bet they don¡¯t hate my beautiful guts!

Kojack pulls up Shawn to be knocked down by The Dark Reaper. Shawn¡¯s head is now grabbed by The Dark Reaper and smashed into the turnbuckle. Some right hands of The Dark Reaper and planted into the face of Shawn Brody. Kojack comes right back and knocks The Dark Reaper to the outside again. The Dark Reaper slowly gets up as Kojack climbs up to the top rope. A look of horror is own Kojack¡¯s face as Shawn Brody pushes Kojack off the ropes. Kojack¡¯s neck and face go into the railing as he lands on it. The Dark Reaper grabs Kojack and throws him into the steel steps. Ced goes to the out side and grabs a mic as The Dark Reaper comes back into the ring. They both exchange fists but Shawn Brody manages tog et the upper hand with an eye rake. Then Shawn takes hold of the arm and rolls back and sends The Dark Reaper to the other side of the ring with an arm drag. The Dark Reaper is quick to get up and is met with a drop kick. Shawn grabs The Dark Reaper once again and kicks him deep into the mid section. Then Shawn Brody lifts The Dark Reaper up and falls back for a suplex. Shawn Brody goes of a pin and puts his legs on the ropes of leverage but Ced quickly spots this and kicks the legs of Shawn off the ropes and gives The Dark Reaper to make a small package.

One, Two, Thre..

Axis: NO! Close one early in this match.

Edwin: Well Ced is calling everything in this match. But I wonder why he has that mic?

SK: That crazy ref! He ain¡¯t being fair. And that¡¯s why he will never be as good as me! Cause I was the SWF Champion!

Shawn quickly gets up and delivers a kick to The Dark Reaper. Then Shawn wraps his arm around The Dark Reaper and falls back to plant him with the DDT. The Shawn gets up and starts talking to Ced but is stopped when Kojack kicks Shawn Brody right in the face with a thrust kick. Shawn is roughly brought to his feet and sent into the ropes. On his way back he notices Kojack going down for the back body drop and stops on a dime and kicks Kojack on the chest. Kojack stands up in pain and is knocked down with a close line. It looks like Shawn is going to hit a knee drop but is cut off by The Dark Reaper with a shoulder block. Shawn gets up and is delivered a few forearms to the face. Shawn feels the boot of The Dark Reaper hit him and then him grabbed and pulled down and planted with an even flow DDT. The Dark Reaper quickly pins Shawn.

One, Two..

Axis: Kojack broke it up! Reaper and Kojack really want the gold.

SK: I sense that Kojack will overcome this ref and get his first taste of gold. But it took him so long and that¡¯s why he is never going to be as good as ME!

Edwin: How do you know that?

SK: Ahh Edwin. Jealous again.

Edwin: No I AM NOT!

SK: SILENCE! I AM TALKING!

SK: Well anyways Kojack has a good chance in winning.

Axis: Can¡¯t count out Shawn though by Ced is going to be a factor in the outcome.

Kojack quickly attack The Dark Reaper and flings him into the ropes. On the way back The Dark Reaper is lifted into the air and slammed back into the mat with a powerslam. Kojack doesn¡¯t go for the cover but starts stomping again before swinging The Dark Reaper in the corner. Kojack comes up and starts doing a few punches to The Dark Reaper. Kojack is about to hit 7 until Shawn breaks it up with a low blow that Ced doesn¡¯t notice. Then Shawn starts doing various round house kicks to the back of Kojack and that sends him down. Shawn pulls Kojack a bit from the corner as The Dark Reaper goes up on top. Shawn tells The Dark Reaper to go up on top and hit his frog splash as he holds Kojack. The Dark Reaper soars off the top and stretches out to hit mat because Shawn Brody moves Kojack away in the last second. Shawn covers The Dark Reaper as Ced starts to count on his mic.

Ced: ONE! TWO! IT DOESN¡¯T MATTER IF YOU GET THE 3!

Axis: Well Ced looks like he isn¡¯t going to count for Shawn Brody.

SK: WHAT! THAT FOOL!

Edwin: These men do hate each other.

Shawn gets up in anger and pushes Ced. Ced looks down and then up to Shawn and hits a right. Both men start punching with Ced getting the upper hand with a knee into the gut. Then Ced puts his arm in front of Shawn and Shawn¡¯s arm behind hi head to make a rock bottom position. Ced is about to start the Final Surge but Shawn hits a few elbows to get out. Then Shawn drops down and hits the low blow on Ced. The head of Ced is placed between Shawn¡¯s legs and is pulled up. Shawn then goes down to hit The Descent on Ced!

Axis: WHAM! Ced is out!

Edwin: He just attacked the ref!

SK: HAHA! GOOD RIDDINGS!

Ced lies there motionless after The Descent. Shawn has a smile on his face as he turns around to see The Dark Reaper lift Shawn onto his shoulder. Shawn¡¯s head is pointing to the mat as The Dark Reaper falls on his BUTT to hit a Rikishi Driver on Shawn. The Dark Reaper goes for the pin but the ref is knocked out. Kojack goes up top and drops down and extends his elbow. The elbow smashes into the back of the head of The Dark Reaper. The Dark Reaper is pulled up and feels the arms of Kojack wrap around him. Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up and flips him over for a belly-to-belly suplex. The Dark Reaper goes hard into the canvas as Kojack goes to work on Shawn. Shawn Brody is whipped into the ropes and lifted up on the way back under the armpits. Kojack then goes down with his legs spread and slams Shawn into the canvas with a K.O! Kojack pushes Shawn away and starts stomping him. He grabs the arms of Shawn and The Dark Reaper and places them side-by-side. Then Kojack climbs the top again and soars off it and tries to hit the splash. Both men open their eyes to see Kojack come off the top and roll away for Kojack to hit the mat. Kojack looks like he is in extreme pain and rolls around screaming.

Axis: HE MISSED! HIGH RISK MAUNEVER MISSED!

SK: Idiot! That barley hits!

Edwin: That¡¯s got to hurt!

Axis: Well Ced is still down from That Descent from Shawn Brody!

Kojack is quickly lifted to his feet and is placed between The Dark Reaper¡¯s legs. Kojack is lifted up and put on The Dark Reaper¡¯s shoulder. Then The Dark Reaper flips Kojack and slams him into the mat with a Cruefix! Kojack rolls out of the ring, as Ced starts moving. The Dark Reaper goes to work on Shawn with a few rights. Shawn goes for the eye rake but misses by a mile and is kicked in the gut instead. Shawn goes down as The Dark Reaper backs away and jumps in the air and waves his legs for a scissors kick right to the back of the head on Shawn Brody. Kojack goes over to the timekeeper and grabs the T.V title belt. The Dark Reaper locks Shawn Brody in a rock bottom position and is about to go for the standing urange suplex but Kojack hits the back of The Dark Reaper¡¯s head with the T.V title. Kojack covers as Ced slowly does the count.

One!

Axis: Could Kojack do it?

Two!

Edwin: ONE SECOND AWAY!

Thre..

Axis: NO! NEAR FALL!

SK: HAHA Kojack is just about to start the end.

Edwin: Well that T.V title is still in the ring as Ced is slowly getting up.

Cid gets up with the help of the ropes to see Kojack kick The Dark Reaper in the gut. Then The Dark Reaper is lifted up and drilled back down into the canvas for a Jack Bomb. The Dark Reaper manages to escape from the pin by rolling out of the ring as Kojack swings Shawn Brody into the ropes. Both men extend their arms to hit a double clothesline on each other. Both men are down as Ced grabs the T.V title in his hands. Both men slowly gets up as Ced is braced to hit somebody with that belt. Ced charges at full speed and hits¡¦¡¦. The T.V Champion Shawn Brody right between the eyes. Kojack looks in disbelief as Kojack makes the cover.

One, Two, Three!

Axis: ITS OVER! ITS OVER!

Edwin: A NEW T.V CHAMPION!

SK: HAHA Ced played a factor there.

Boom by P.O.D is played as Kojack grabs his belt and raises it in the air. The Dark Reaper can¡¯t believe it and walks up the ramp as Shawn looks sky ward. Kojack exits the ring as Ced suddenly grabs Shawn Brody. Then Ced places Shawn Brody in a rock bottom position and lifts his legs up and brings it down while sweeping the legs of Shawn Brody making it The Final Surge!

Axis: WHAM! Ced just planted Shawn Brody.

SK: PFFT! Typical attacking a guy after he is screwed out of a match.

Edwin: Well we have more matches coming up but we also have a new T.V Champion and he is KOJACK!

March 31, 2002

We fade into a shot of Shawn Brody, the Fallen Angel, sitting on a steel folding chair in the middle of his empty locker room with thoughts running through his mind. He’s still in his ring attire consisting of a tattered Clan shirt and ripped black pants. He pulls the wrist tape off of one arm and then raises that hand to his face to play with a small cut on his bottom lip, most likely resulting from the chair shot he took in the ring. Melissa is apparently out at the moment...

Just then, “The Superior One” Tom Flesher comes bursting into the room, a gym bag over his shoulder. He drops it at his feet.

“What did I miss?! My flight was late and...”

The Fallen Angel stops him with a glance, visibly angered but not towards Flesher. Brody stands...

“That’s not what’s important. Listen, we’ve got a ling night ahead of us...”

We fade out from the locker room as Brody converses with Flesher. Melissa comes in the room and joins the discussion.

March 31, 2002

Tonight, in the Blue Cross arena, situated in Rochester, New York, is when the SJL staple of Crimson will take place. Those in the crowd are loud and anxious, holding up signs such as "Taylor = Ratings", "G0R0 Beingz R0x0rz", and "TheSmarks.Com".

Before they know it, "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong, echoes throughout the arena, as the lights turn dark, except for those flashing onto the rampway and ring. Those lights in an array of colors, as multiple spotlights shine through, awaiting onstage for the first man in this match. Mafia walks out with arms outstretched, to a largely mixed reaction from the crowd, who don't know what to make of him at this moment. He's dressed in some new attire as well, with some black & blood red tights, knee braces, and standard wrestling boots; although his mainstay of black shirt and trenchcoat is still present. Mafia makes his way down the entrance ramp slowly.

"(Axis) Well, out comes Mafia, accompanied by some new music."

"(Edwin) How many is that now, four?

"(Axis) Give or take."

"(King) I happen to like the music."

"(Funyon) The following contest, is a Singles Match, schueduled for one fall! First, from Denver, Colorado and weighing in at 215 pounds. MMAAAFIA!"

"(Axis) It's fine music, but 4 songs in 5 or so months is a bit silly. However, that's not the issue here, as Mafia acting peculiar as ever, left Candra in the ring after his match on Metal. Could give some explanation as to why she's absent tonight."

"(King) Good. He didn't need the broad anyway. About time he found out what's more important in this league. And that's looking out for yourself."

Mafia takes a turn at the bottom of the ramp, and walks up the ring steps, finally weaving in-between the ropes to get into the ring. He signals for the mic, handed to him by Funyon, and he begins to speak.

"(Axis) Wonderful."

"(Mafia) Good evening! You know, I'm happy to be here tonight...but not in anyway any of you jackasses expect. Simply because, the faster the SJL gets into this trash hole, the faster the SJL gets out of this trash hole.

"Boooo!"

"(Mafia) I mean, c'mon. Rochester isn't famous for anything anyway. And yes, I am counting Flunkmasta Flexxx in that regard. Now, onto my opponent for tonight, that person being 'Deathwish' Denny Willis."

"(Axis) It's Danny Williams, you idiot!"

"(Mafia) Simply put, Deathwish...You are no Mafia, and Mafia is excellence. And although I've had a rough go as of late in the JL, I AM still the future dammit, and like so many others, you will fall on this night. As the man standing before you, the Revolution, has his own anti-drug for you. That anti-drug being the image of you, laying out cold on the mat, with my foot on your chest, and the Referee counting the One, Two, and Three."

"BoooOOO!

"(Axis) Ugh. He's even more annoying than before."

"(Mafia) Ok, Fun-ster. Do your job, and get Denny boy out here."

"(King) Hey, I like this guy."

"(Edwin) You would."

Mafia throws the mic back toward Funyon, as the heavy grinding grooves of Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts over the speakers. The SmarkTron flashes with the word "Deathwish" in white letters, with highlights of Danny's Indy and New Japan Matches following there after. Danny comes out on to the platform, and looks around at the crowd who boo him just as before, though not as heavily, as he's the decided favorite, it seems.

"(Funyon) And from Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in at 235 pounds. 'Deathwish' Danny Williams!"

"(Axis) Down comes Deathwish, who lost in a European Title Contender Match. And is no doubt looking to put a hurting on Mafia for his disrespectful comments."

Deathwish simply looks around, and shakes his head, before walking down to the ring. On his way down, with an intense and focused look on his face, he seems as puzzled at Mafia's behavour as anyone else. He slides into the ring, as the Referee signals for the bell.

*Ding Ding Ding *

Mafia throws his coat off and it falls in a heap on the mat, afterward adjusting his knee braces, as Deathwish looks at Mafia with anger etched in his face. The brazen Mafia steps up to Deathwish, and takes a hard swing, connecting with the face of Williams. Deathwish staggers, and comes back with a swing of his own, his punch connecting as well, knocking down Mafia to the mat. Mafia gets himself up, and is thrown into the ropes by Williams. Mafia bounces off once, as Williams dives down towards the mat, dropping down. Mafia comes to a halt, and he attempts to drop an elbow down onto the downed Deathwish. Danny though, sees it coming, and he rolls out of the way as Mafia hits the mat. Mafia stands up, and grabs his elbow, as Deathwish hooks up Mafia, taking him over with a Snap Suplex.

"(Axis) Cover!"

"(King) Duh."

Deathwish floats over into the cover, and the Ref drops down to make the count. To no avail though, as Mafia immediately gets a shoulder up. Mafia launches himself back up, and Deathwish is there to meet him head on. Williams, headbutts him, and Mafia falls back into the corner. Williams is ready to follow up, but Mafia begs off and pleads for mercy, convincing the Ref to get in between the two men. Mafia though, reaches out and rakes the eyes of Deathwish, blinding him momentarily.

"(King) Dude! He's been studying up on the Heel Handbook. Classic Flair."

"(Axis) I can't believe Flair got shafted in the draft like that."

"(Edwin) Shhhh."

Mafia follows up on the advantage, as he gives Deathwish a swift kick to the ribs, before bending Deathwish over and raking his knee brace across the forehead of Williams. Williams, still blinded, swings at thin air before Mafia hooks him up and sets him down with a Vertical Suplex. Mafia floats over, and wraps his arms around Williams' head, putting in a Sleeper, trying to wear him down.

"(Axis) Mafia keeping the pace down. Although Deathwish likes to do this himself, right now it's working to the Hitman's advantage. I can say that he's living up to the legacy of that name."

"(King) I'm split in who to cheer for at the moment. But at least Mafia is showing what he can do. I'd do it so much differently though, maybe like kicking in my opponents nuts in repeatedly."

"(Edwin) That's just not right."

"(Axis) And here comes the resthold."

"(Edwin) Funny. Neither of these two guys have blown up yet."

"(Axis) Thankful for that. No over the hill wrestlers running around here, shades of their former selves, working on nostalgia heat which will likely be dead in a couple months."

Deathwish, the favorite in the match, due to the actions of Mafia, begins to fight out of the Sleeper. He gets up to his feet and hits Mafia with an elbow to the gut, before pushing him off to the ropes nearest the announce team. Mafia bounces back, and Deathwish ducks behind him, hooking him around the waist, picking him up, and planting him into the mat with a Back Suplex. Deathwish rolls Mafia over, and wraps his legs around his left arm, trying to lock in an Armbar. Mafia shakes Deathwish off though, and slides out to the outside, escaping the potential problem. Mafia taps his head with his finger, signaling that he had outsmarted his foe, while bickering with the fans on the outside. Stupid move, as Deathwish slides out after Mafia, and Clotheslines him from behind, stiffly I might add. Mafia grabs his neck on the outside floor, as Deathwish decides that he's very tired of fucking around. He gives a stomp to the back of Mafia, before lifting him up by the head and delivering a chop to the chest. Mafia attempts to walk away, supported by the barrier, but Deathwish catches up to him, and gives him another stiff chop.

“(Axis) Mafia reeling, after making a possibly crucial mistake by turning his back on Deathwish.”

“(King) He’ll come back. After all, he has my Seal of Approval.”

“(Edwin) That sounds stupid. It should be the Seal of Stupidity. For stupid people, like you.”

“(King) Don’t have any harsh feelings. Just because I’m an ex-champion.”

Deathwish rolls Mafia back into the ring, and gives him a stomp. Mafia picks himself up off the mat, and Deathwish immediately whips him to the far corner. Mafia hits hard, but catches Williams running in, with a quick kicking strike to the face. Deathwish is dazed, as Mafia hooks him up, and places him on the top rope. Mafia ascends to the top, along with him, and wraps his legs around the head of Deathwish, appearing to be going for a Frankensteiner. Mafia snaps back, but collides with the canvas in a bad way, as Danny hangs on to the top rope as best he can. Mafia takes a bit of time to roll up off the canvas, and when he does, Deathwish jumps off the top rope, extending his legs and catching Mafia with a Missile Dropkick. Mafia lands on the other side of the ring, and Williams rushes over for a cover.

“one”

“Tw--”

“(Axis) Mafia gets the kickout at two!”

Mafia struggles his way off the canvas, and Deathwish is once again there to push the advantage. Williams grabs the arm of Mafia, and whips him into the ropes. Mafia reverses, and as Williams comes back, Mafia hits him with a text-book Dropkick. Williams comes off the mat, and Mafia hooks him around the waist, attempting to take him up in the Overhead Belly-Belly Suplex. Williams stands his ground after the first attempt, but after a show of raw strength, Mafia finally gets him up and over. Deathwishes’ head bounces off the mat, and he lays stunned, as Mafia jumps up to the top rope. Mafia leaps off and flips in the air perfectly, dropping out of the air and landing right on Danny Williams forcefully. Williams’ body jerks at the impact, and Mafia stays on for a pin.

“(Axis) Mafia! With the Shooting Star Press!”

“one”

“Two!”

“(Axis) Shoulder up after two!”

“(King) Who knew he’d bust out the big move right away. But it nearly worked to his advantage as he damn near stole one out from under Deathwish.”

“(Edwin) Huh. I haven’t said anything for a while.”

“(King) Keep it that way.”

Frustration is evident on the face of Mafia, as he pounds the mat with his fists before bringing Williams up to his feet. Mafia gives Deathwish a swift kick to the side of his right leg, before reaching back and hitting a haymaker. Deathwish lays against the ropes dazed, as Mafia knocks him up and over with a Clothesline. Deathwish falls hard to the floor below, right in front of the announce table, and he struggles to stand. Mafia stalks him in the center of the ring, watching his every move, before running to the opposite ropes, and bouncing off, making sure to get a good running start. Back on the outside now, and Deathwish comes up to his feet, only to watch Mafia launching himself over the top rope. The crowd rises as Mafia flies through the air, and both men fall in a heap, as Mafia rolls onto his knees and raises his fists in the air, feeling that the end may be imminent.

“(King) Yes! That’s what I like to see.”

“(Axis) A risky move for Mafia, but it paid off regardless, as Deathwish is still down in front of us here.”

“(Edwin) Nice. Very nice. No way Williams will go down that easily though.”

Mafia comes off his high, and picks up Deathwish to roll him back into the ring, as Mafia climbs into the ring himself. Deathwish pushes up off the mat to stand, but Mafia hooks him and puts him down with a Scoop Slam in the middle of the ring. Pondering what to do next, Mafia hops over Deathwish and takes a run to the ropes, jumping up and springing off the second rope. Mafia flips over, attempting to go for the Quebrada, and it seems as if he would land it perfectly. But Deathwish rolls out of the way! Mafia hits the canvas stomach first, and he rolls onto his knees clutching his abdomen. Williams then sneaks in behind Mafia and grabs him with a waistlock, pulling back with all his might and throwing him across the ring with a German Suplex. Mafia’s skull bounces off the mat, and he tumbles heels over head, seemingly out cold. Deathwish hurries into the pin, thinking this may be his chance.

“one”

“Two!”

“THR---“

“(Axis) Mafia should’ve tried for a pin right away after throwing Williams back in. That botched Lionsault nearly cost him the match.”

“(Edwin) Righto. Very lucky that he had enough reserve and the foresight to kick out.”

“(King) Mafia will still own the match when all is said and done.”

Williams is frustrated, as it’s evident that he thought he got Mafia off guard. Mafia attempts to stand to no avail, as Deathwish gets him to his feet. Mafia tries fighting back with a hard punch to the gut, but Williams puts that to an end with a knee to the abdomen. Mafia crouches over, as Deathwish wraps his arms around the waist of Mafia, then turns him upside down, going for a Piledriver. Mafia uses the momentum though, as he gets up onto Deathwishe’s shoulders, and immediately takes him over into a Hurracanrana. Mafia snaps it off, and Deathwish collides with the mat, nearly falling out of the ring.

“(King) Brilliant reversal by Mafia, and he avoids a dicey situation.”

“(Axis) Well, let’s see what he can do. Seems as if he’s brought out the bag of tricks tonight, and none of them have put Williams away.”

Mafia passes up the pin opportunity, instead opting to pick up Williams from behind, seemingly going for the Sheer Drop Belly-Back Suplex. Mafia lets go, but Deathwish lands on his feet behind Mafia, still worse for wear as he nearly had a close encounter with the mat. Williams regroups, and spins Mafia around, hooking up and pulling him back into a Northern Lights Suplex. He hangs on for a pin.

“one”

“Two!”

“THR---“

“(Axis) Mafia with another close shave. Luckily he kicked out, but there are only so many times you can get out of it.”

Both Mafia and Deathwish lay on the mat, exhausted as the Referee begins the 10 count.

“one”

“two”

“three”

“four”

“five”

“six”

Finally both men get up to their feet after six, and they collide as Mafia tries for a punch, blocked by Deathwish, as he gets one of his own. Williams strikes Mafia in the face with a Reverse Elbow, before spinning back around and whipping Mafia into the ropes. Mafia bounces off, and is struck with a flying Forearm by Deathwish. Mafia falls, but is soon back onto his feet, as Williams grabs him again for a whip. Mafia though, hangs onto the ropes with his hand, as Williams can’t pull him off. Mafia brings Deathwish to the ropes himself, as he pushes him up to the sky, and drags him back down across the top rope, neck first. After the Stun Gun, Williams bounces off stunned, and holding his neck, as Mafia lifts him up onto his shoulders into the Firemans Carry. With a release of the legs and a 180 degree spin by Mafia, Williams’ jaw impacts onto Mafia’s shoulder, and Williams falls to the mat.

“(King) Another one falls to the Mob Hit!”

“(Axis) Here’s the count.”

“one”

“Two!”

“THREE!”

*Ding Ding Ding *

“(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, via Pinfall. MMAAAFIA!”

“Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck by Prong” hits as Mafia sits on his knees and raises his arm, before climbing up the turnbuckle and taunting the crowd. While Deathwish is no fan-favorite himself, Mafia was the hated one tonight, as the crowd boos Mafia in unison. Mafia steps down and rolls out of the ring, walking slowly up the ramp, after being battered and bruised in this match with Deathwish.

“(King) Just like I called it.”

“(Edwin) A great match, even if the commentary of King did detract from the match.”

“(King) You son of a---“

“(Axis) A win goes down in the books, as Mafia backs up what he said earlier in the match. Up next on Crimson, is the European Title contest between the champion Mike Van Siclen, and the challenger Tom Flesher.”

March 31, 2002

Once again, the camera takes the feed to the backstage area and once again, we are in front of Stryke's locker room. Erek Taylor stands in front of the door, holding on to some sort of rope that seems to be hanging from the ceiling. Taylor ties the rope around the door knob and knocks on the door before dashing away at full speed.

The door opens and Stryke steps out, and we soon realize what that rope was tied to. A bucket of tomato sauce and noodles! The tomato sauce splashes down on the still in casual wear Stryke! Stryke growls in anger as he wipes the tomato sauce off his face and looks at his T-shirt and pants. The Australian Devil turns around but before he can, a white sheet of paper floats down from the air and Stryke snatches it out of the air, carefully reading the words inscribed on the paper.

"Dear Stryke,

I know you're from Australia and I know you people love international food. So, since I am such a nice guy and all, I've ordered some spaghetti for you to feast on. Some Tomato Sauce, some noodles, and oh yeah, I didn't forget the beer that comes along with it...."

Stryke thinks for a moment and looks up, just as another bucket begins to spill. A bucketfull of Foster's Beer splashes down on the Aussie, stinking up the area around him and stinking him up even more! Stryke begins to pant heavily but brings the letter up again.

"I hope you enjoy this hearty meal because I know I would. Signed, Erek Taylor.

PS: Did I forget to tell you the stuff is hanging from the ceiling?"

Stryke rips the letter in half, shredding it to pieces before heading back into his locker room and slamming the door shut.

March 31, 2002

We fade into a shot of “The Superior One” Tom Flesher standing with the Fallen Angel, Melissa at his side. Shawn Brody has the mic...

“Ced Ordonez... the current thorn in my side. You think by costing me my Television title you can get under my skin. You think you want to play head games with me. Deep down, you know you’ll lose.”

“I wasn’t so kind as to offer this to Van Siclen before it was to late but look at him now. Sure he is the new European champion but take another look. It’s eating away at his insides right now that he lost his ladylove. It is said that there is one person out there for every other person, one perfect match. MVS found his and now he’s lost her. The European gold can only compensate for a little while and then he’ll feel it again. That little stabbing pain in his soul for every time he sees her, every time she’s in his thoughts.”

“So, Cedric, I’m offering you the chance to stop now and forfeit our little game. MVS had that same chance and now he has lost something dear. The thing you lose, Ced, will hurt even more.”

With that, the Fallen Angel looks to Flesher with his arms crossed over his chest, pushing the muscles on his arms out more. Brody flips the mic in his hand and holds it out for Flesher. He accepts it and brings it up to his lips.

“Mike Van Siclen, 'The Amazin' One'. Tell me, Mike... how does it feel to have your highest high and your lowest low all in one short week? First you lose Melissa... that pretty little piece of ass maces you and walks out of your life forever. You nearly get KILLED at the hands of the Fallen Angel. The blood running through your veins has rust in it from the barbed wire, and your entire body was battered and bruised.”

“And then you come in and win the European Championship. You go from being a single, friendless loser to being the champion of all of Europe, from the geothermal spas in Iceland all the way down to the ruins of Greece. From Scandinavia, through Bavaria, into the Mediterranean, one continent, and you're the man to represent it.”

“Well, Mike, you're about to have another low. I don't care how tough you are, or how well you're recovering from your injuries. You just don't get it. You say you want that belt, but you don't. Not the way that I do. You say you earned it, and maybe you did... but none of that's going to matter an hour from now.”

“An hour from now, I'm going to be drinking Champagne from France. I'll be drinking Sambuca from Italy, Heinekin from the Low Countries, Guinness from Ireland and Beck's from Germany. I'll be celebrating with a buxom Finnish girl, and Brody's going to have himself a nice little Spanish spitfire.”

“You? An hour from now you won't be doing anything. You're going to have your ears packed with gauze, and your eyes are going to be swollen shut.”

“You think that's Amazing, Mike? Deal with it, because I'm simply your Superior. Shine up that belt real nice, Mike Van Siclen. I want it to look good around my waist.”

The three start down the hall as Flesher’s theme picks up and the fans begin to roar.

March 31, 2002

SJL Crimson returns from commercial and pans the crowd, pausing on signs like "Inferiority Complex," "Cut His Throat" and "Suicide King Fears Kevorkian." Finally, it pulls back to show the entire Blue Cross Arena and the SJL European Title logo flashes across the screen as the names "Amazin' Mike Van Siclen" and "The Superior One" scroll across the screen. With that, we zoom in on Axis, Suicide King and Edwin at the announce table.

Axis: What an exciting card we've already had tonight! It's about to get even more exciting as SJL European Champion "Amazin'" Mike Van Siclen-

King: Mike Van Siclen MINUS Melissa.

Axis: Er, Mike Van Siclen defends against the number-one contender for the title, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher. This young man's come a long way already in the SJL.

King: Of course he has. Anything's an improvement over being a clueless rook.

Edwin: Well, except being you!

King: I AM a former World Champion, you know.

Axis: *sigh* Are you SURE he has to stay here? This is Mike Van Siclen's very first title defense, and you better believe that after all he went through to win this belt, he's not going to give it up very easily.

King: The Superior One, though, knows every trick in the book. He doesn't have a lot of experience, but he has desire. He also has something else, Axis.

Axis: What's that?

King: He doesn't have any hangups about smacking someone upside the head with a beer mug.

Axis: *grumble* Let's go to Funyon.

The arena goes dark. Over the loudspeaker, the opening strains of the Doors' "Tell All The People" start to play. A large X of pyro sprays out in front of the curtain, and as Jim Morrison sings the opening lyrics, Tom Flesher struts through the curtain and assumes a pose. He struts confidently to the ring, carrying his beer mug, and slides under the ropes. After setting his beer mug in the corner, Flesher drops to his knees and raises his arms as if he were soaking in the cheers of a crowd that's chanting "FLESHER SUCKS COCK *clap clap clapclapclap*". The music fades out.

Funyon: In the ring, the challenger, from Buffalo, New York-

Flesher grabs the mic.

Flesher: That's right, I'm 213 pounds from BUFFALO, NEW YORK! Why, that's right up the 290 from here! It's even in the same area code! Hell, my first lay was from Batavia! The wings aren't very good, but I love this place almost as much as you guys love me! Maybe more!

Flesher hands the microphone back to Funyon as the crowd resumes their chant. The lights go down as "Runaway" by Linkin Park kicks up. Suddenly, a blue spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp, where a very ripped, very intense Mike Van Siclen stands. The chorus starts as MVS stands cockily, bobbing his head slightly to the beat of the song.

"Now I find myself in question...

(You point the finger at me again...)"

The spotlight drops.

"Guilty by association....

(You point the finger at me again...)"

WHAM! A huge blast of white pyro goes off on the stage, illuminating Mike. Dim lights come on and MVS walks to the ring, his hands staying o the belt the whole time, until he slides under the ropes. He takes the belt off, mounts a cornerpost, and holds it high in the air as the fans cheer.

After a few moments, he calms down and hands his belt off to referee Jim Stine.

Funyon: And his opponent... weighing in at 237 pounds., hailing from Harrison, Illinois, the SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION, "Amazin'" Mike Van Siclen!!!!!!!

The crowd's cheers are loud and long for MVS as Jim Stine holds the belt in the air and then hands it off to the timekeeper.

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!

Axis: Van Siclen looks very intense today. Ever since he lost Melissa to Shawn Brody and she turned on him in the infamous Stairway to Fuck match, he's been a new man.

King: He's sleeping alone. They tell you not to have sex the night before a fight, not that Edwin would have any experience with that.

Edwin: Speak for yourself, Suicide boy. Ling Ling at the San Diego Zoo's gotten more action than you.

The two combatants come to center-ring and it's evident that MVS's 6-inch and 24-pound size advantage will come into play in the match. MVS attempts to lock up, but Flesher backs off and wags his finger, as if to say, "You're not going to get me THAT easily." He cracks his neck, shakes out each of his limbs, and finally moves back toward the center of the ring. Once again, Mike attempts to lock up, but Flesher holds up his hands in the "Wait a moment" gesture and backs away, taking a moment to tuck his t-shirt into his jeans and crack his neck again. He dusts his hands off and moves back to the center of the ring, where once more Mike moves to lock up

with him. Flesher backs out again, but this time a frustrated Van Siclen just hauls off and slaps Flesher across the face.

Edwin: Mike Van Siclen may have just amazed Tom Flesher there!

Axis: He's not very patient. It looks like he may be trying to get the match going, since he's sure to still be hurting from the Stairway to Fuck match and the grueling four-way dance that won him the title.

King: Flesher barely did any work in the match that won him this title shot. He's basically had a week off to train and recuperate.

Flesher grabs his cheek and glares at Mike, then slaps him back. The crowd winces in collective as the loud *SMACK* echoes through the Blue Cross Arena. Flesher shoves Van Siclen backwards and hits him with a series of light palm blows in the shoulders and chest to distract him, then nails

him with a hard palm to the stomach. Flesher takes advantage by setting up a whip to the turnbuckles, but Van Siclen reverses it and sends Flesher to the ropes instead. Flesher bounds off and attempts a clothesline, which MVS ducks. Flesher bounces off the opposite ropes, but Van

Siclen catches him with a drop toehold. Tom goes down to the mat and Mike attempts to lock on a rectal stretch, but Tom reaches through and grabs his opponent's ankle, tripping him to his back.Flesher attempts to step through into an anklelock, but MVS kicks him off and kips up to his feet as the fans cheer.

Axis: Flesher's sure gotten serious through the opening sequence. Normally he's still posing up a storm or chatting up the fans, but he's looking very.... Edwin, what's the word I'm looking for?

Edwin: Drunken? Bleary-eyed? Not himself?

King: Serious?

Axis: The Superior One and the Amazing One square off mid-ring and each looks ready to kick it up a notch. Neither wrestler's first attacks worked, so they're both trying to figure out Plan B right now.

King: Van Siclen's not taking advantage of the rules like he should. He's exhausted - why doesn't he just grab the belt, go for a walk and give up the countout? He'd retain, Flesher would have his title shot out of the way and he'd be free to work out and relax a little. Plus, he could look for a pretty young thing to replace that whore, Melissa.

Axis: Whore?

Edwin: Oar? We don't need an oar. This isn't a hardcore match, it's just a regular match. And even if it were hardcore, it'd be easier to use something a bit smaller and less unwieldy than an oar. Yeesh, don't you know anything about being a heel?

King: I know enough that I'm a former SWF World Champion. How bout you, Edwin? Are you a former World Champion?

Edwin: *muttering* Maybe not, but I'm sleeping with your wife.

King: WHAT?!

Edwin: I said watch what's going on in the ring, heartbreaker boy.

Flesher and Van Siclen lock up, and Van Siclen's power immediately comes into play as he's able to whip Flesher to the ropes with ease. As Flesher runs back at him, MVS crouches down and nails him in the ribs with a spear! After making contact, Van Siclen rolls through, springs off the

ropes and nails the stunned Flesher with an elbowdrop!

Axis: Signature spot from Mike Van Siclen, demonstrating his agility...

Edwin: Ability...

King: Futility. He's not going to be able to keep this up.

Flesher slides out of the ring to collect his thoughts, but MVS is on a roll and charges after him, jumping and springing off the top rope with a springboard dropkick. He hits Flesher squarely in the face, and Tom crumbles to the ground holding his head. MVS slides back into the ring, and Flesher follows, bleeding slightly from the forehead.

Flesher wipes his forehead. When he sees blood on his hand, he becomes visibly enraged and charges after Van Siclen, walking right into a Rock Bottom. As Flesher realizes the position he's in, however, he's able to limp out and get to the side, nailing Mike with a Russian leg sweep. MVS attempts to roll away, but Flesher grapevines his leg and uses the vine to keep him close, setting him up for another anklelock.

King: Look at Flesher's face. Ever since he started bleeding, he's been working it, just like it says in the Guidebook To Being A Heel, page 432.

Edwin: Ech.... I can't stand the sight of blood.

Edwin brings his hands up to cover his eyes, revealing his panda cufflinks, as Flesher cranks the anklelock. MVS inches toward the ropes, but Flesher pulls him back to the center of the mat and steps around the leg, creating more pressure. As MVS flails, he starts to roll to his back. When Flesher catches on, he spins around, letting Van Siclen go to his back, and uses the anklelock to spin into a figure-four leglock.

Axis: There's Flesher working the legs. He seems to have a dual purpose here... first of all, he's trying to make Mike Van Siclen tap, obviously. But if he can take out Mike's legs, it'll slow down the pace of the match and give him an advantage.

King: And when he's not looking... BAM! Right in the head with the beer mug!

Edwin: Ewww... look at Flesher's face. It's like he's got a quart and a half of... ugh....

Axis sighs as Flesher cranks the figure-four. Flesher screams out loud, "ASK HIM!" Jim Stine drops down to ask MVS if he gives up, but he answers by shaking his head and trying to prop himself up. Flesher continues to crank the leglock screaming out loud.

King: Yup, right there on page 389, the Insane Heel Spirit Shout. Flesher's screaming like that to demonstrate that he really wants to win. Of course, this title's small potatoes.

Edwin: And you'd know about small potatoes, wouldn't you, King?

Axis: Small potatoes? I wouldn't say that. The European Title holds a lot of prestige here in the SJL. Flesher really wants this belt... didn't you see the interview he had earlier this week?

King: What's the big deal about Europe? It's one little continent. I've been the Champion of the entire WORLD.

Axis: *sigh* Yes, we know.

Van Siclen continues to inch toward the edge of the mat, reaching with all his power for the ropes, but each time, Flesher cranks harder and scoots back toward the center.

Axis: Van Siclen's in too much pain to take advantage of his long reach. Flesher's really got that figure-four on tight!

Finally, MVS hears the crowd chanting "MVS! MVS!" and makes one last desperate grasp for the ropes.

HE MAKES IT!

Jim Stine gives Flesher the four-count, and Flesher breaks before standing up and screaming to the crowd out of frustration. The crowd responds by starting the "FLESHER SUCKS COCK *clap clap clapclapclap*" chant again. Flesher slides over to Mike to drop an elbow onto his chest, but Mike rolls out of the way at the last second and Flesher misses.

MVS slides out of the ring, but almost immediately re-enters when he sees Flesher charging toward him. Flesher stops and attempts to change direction, but Van Siclen's moving too quickly and nails him with a spinning wheel kick. Flesher goes down, and Van Siclen climbs to the top rope. As Flesher regains his senses, MVS dives off the top rope and nails him with a spear! The crowd starts up a chant of "HE'S AMAZIN *clap clap clapclapclap*" as MVS tries to take advantage of the move by grabbing both of Flesher's legs and working a wishbone.

Axis: The tide's turning here, gentlemen!

King: Page 863, Creating Build. Flesher's playing possum. Don't you remember his last match?

Edwin: Do you remember the last time you got laid?

King: Excuse me? I'm the King of Hearts!

Edwin: I thought it was King of Herpes.

MVS releases the wishbone and once again mounts the top rope. Flesher staggers to his feet, only to be met with a Blockbuster by Van Siclen! Flesher falls flat on his back, and MVS lands safely. Mike lifts Flesher to his feet and, looking to the crowd, signals for something big, and wraps his hands around Flesher's neck. He lifts Flesher high in the air, and comes down HARD with a choking jawbreaker! Flesher grabs his chin and writhes in pain on the mat, but Van Siclen, rather

than taking advantage and going for the pin looks to be injured as well.

Axis: It looks like Van Siclen's leg may be giving him trouble at this point. Flesher's been trying to work it throughout the match.

Edwin: Yup, working it like a supermodel!

King: You're an idiot.

Edwin: Oh, is that the best you can do? What if I say your mother was a panda and your father smelled of partially-digested bamboo shoots?

All three commentators pause for a moment.

Axis and King, in unison: What the hell are you talking about?

Van Siclen makes it to his feet first, but Flesher follows quickly, and the two lock up. Both men are a bit fatigued, and it shows in their technique. Van Siclen seems concerned about his legs, and Flesher's simply not strong enough to whip him around as much as he'd like. Flesher backs out of the lockup and starts throwing a flurry of light palm thrusts at Van Siclen, but MVS steps back before Flesher can do any serious damage.

Axis: Both men are reluctant to commit to anything at this point, Flesher because he's groggy and Van Siclen because of his injured leg.

King: Reluctant to commit? What's next, "Van Siclen's from Mars and Flesher's from Venus?"

Flesher steps in again and starts throwing palm blows, this time connecting with several and culminating with a hard upward shotei under MVS's chin. Flesher hits him under the chin again, just for good measure, before shooting a single-leg takedown. Flesher snags the injured left leg and trips Van Siclen's good leg, taking him to his back. Tom holds the leg and drops an elbow to the inner thigh, then stands back up and drops a diving headbutt mostly into his stomach. MVS

curls up and yelps out loud, but Flesher gets back to his feet and drops an elbow onto Van Siclen's chest. He grabs Van Siclen and rolls him onto his stomach, then seizes the injured left leg and locks up a stepover toehold. Flesher falls forward and cinches in the crossface, completing the....

Axis: LOTUS BLOSSOM by Tom Flesher! He's concentrating on the leg, but this is a hold that affects the whole body! I have to say, it's a sound strategy by Tom Flesher. He's going to have difficulty suplexing someone a full six inches taller than him, so he may as well work submissions.

Edwin: This is, of course, difficult for Mike Van Siclen. No matter what kind of shape you're in, these sorts of holds really start to take their toll once you get into the mid-match section and near the endgame. With Mike injured coming into this match....

King: I'm telling you, he's stupid. He should just walk out for the countout and save the belt for another defense.

Axis: That wouldn't be very honorable, King.

King: Would you rather be an honorable loser or a cheating champion?

Edwin: I'd rather be a Carnie with a lot of ZING!!!!!!!!!!!

King: A Carnie who can't win a match. What do all you guys do at Midnight, anyways? Sounds pretty gay to me.

Flesher continues holding the Lotus Blossom STF as Mike Van Siclen inches toward the ropes. Eventually, Flesher releases the hold on his own volition and rolls MVS to his back. Flesher sits cockily on the European Champion's chest and does a double biceps pose as Jim Stine counts

ONE

TWO

NO! MVS bridges out of the pin, knocking Flesher off balance and sending him forward, face-first onto the mat! MVS takes advantage of the position and hits Flesher with a discreet low blow, enough for Flesher to feel but not enough for the referee to see.

King: Well I'll be damned... maybe this Van Siclen kid DOES have it in him!

MVS scoots out from under Flesher and drags him to his feet. Van Siclen kicks Flesher in the stomach, causing him to double over, and hooks both arms, nailing a stiff double-arm DDT. Mike Van Siclen stomps on Flesher's back and rolls him out of the ring under the bottom rope, then charges to the other side. As Flesher regains his balance and gets to his feet, Van Siclen bounces off the ropes, springboards, and once again nails Flesher in the head with a springboard dropkick!

Axis: Wow! Flesher's forehead was starting to dry up, but I think that's going to crack her open again!

Edwin: He's wearing the Crimson mask! *BWAHAHAHAHAHA!*

Axis: Mike Van Siclen's grabbing a chair from one of the front row fans...

Edwin: Get it? CRIMSON mask?

Axis: ... and he's throwing it to Flesher! Flesher catches it!

Edwin: Because, see, it's SJL CRIMSON....

King: Why did Flesher catch that chair?

Before Axis can say, "Because he's too groggy to realize he's being set up," MVS nails Flesher with the Van Siclenator, sending him careening back-first into the guardrail and leaving the chair to clatter to the floor. MVS follows that up by picking up the chair and nailing Flesher with....

THE VAN CYCLONATOR!!!!!!

The crowd picks up a "THAT'S WHAT HE SAID! *clap clap clapclapclap*" chant as Mike Van Siclen picks Tom Flesher up off the guardrail and rolls him into the ring. MVS takes his time

getting back into the ring, and re-enters slowly before climbing to the top rope. He re-measures, then turns around and jumps off the top, arching his back in a beautiful moonsault. He connects with....

THE MAT! Flesher rolls out of the way and into the corner to collect himself as MVS grabs his ribs and convulses in the center of the mat.

Axis: What a series by these two! Mike Van Siclen and Tom Flesher are both running on fumes here. Tom Flesher's lost a lot of blood, Mike Van Siclen's still recovering from a hectic

schedule... it's amazing that these two have been able to continue this long, much less for Flesher to be able to roll out of that!

Flesher pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. Van Siclen charges in and goes for a low dropkick, but Flesher dodges it by jumping and then climbing to the top rope as Van Siclen falls to the ground. Flesher dives off the top rope, somersaults, and lands a senton squarely on Van Siclen's lower back! Both men roll away in pain, though, as Flesher managed to knock the wind out of himself.

Edwin: He's not used to actually pulling that move off, Axis.

Axis: He rarely goes to the top rope. Just goes to show that Flesher will go to any lengths to win this match. Regardless, this match is taking its toll on both competitors. Flesher's face is covered in blood, Mike Van Siclen is barely able to move...

King: All for Europe. *snort* Have I mentioned....

Edwin and Axis: YES!!!!!!

Flesher and Van Siclen both get back to their feet and move toward the center of the ring, staring each other down. Mutual hatred is evident in both their facial expressions, but mutual respect is also clear. They stare each other down for a few moments, silent. The tension is almost palpable

between the two battered warriors.

Mike Van Siclen breaks the silence with a hard chop to Flesher's chest. The *CRACK* echoes through the Blue Cross Arena, much like the slap that started the match. Flesher answers the knife-edge with a hard palm blow to the chest of MVS, and MVS responds with more chops. The two combatants pummel each other until they can barely breathe, with Flesher finally taking a knee. Van Siclen slams Flesher in the face and hits an Impact DDT, then covers for

ONE

TWO

KICKOUT by Tom Flesher!!!! Flesher gets to his feet, but Van Siclen's waiting for him with a Rock Bottom! Van Siclen SLAMS Flesher into the mat with the uranage slam, and then points to

the ceiling as the crowd goes nuts.

Axis: Listen to the reaction here in the Blue Cross Arena as Mike Van Siclen climbs to the top rope! The fans are on their feet chanting his name as Tom Flesher lays motionless in the center of the ring! Van Siclen stands on the top rope, bouncing up and down, higher each time, and.... YES! MVS dives off the top rope, pumping once, pumping twice in the Bullfrog Splash! He's coming down, look at the hangtime ---- OH MY GOD!!!! Flesher got his knees up!

Van Siclen lands ribs first on Flesher's flexed knees, and once again, both are in pain. Van Siclen, however, looks to have gotten the worst of it, clutching his ribs and coughing violently, while Flesher is able to get to his feet relatively quickly. Seizing the moment, Flesher charges over and

nails MVS with a series of stiff kicks in the ribs using his steel-toed Doc Martens before punctuating the series with a diving headbutt into the ribs. Van Siclen starts to wince as he tries to breathe, and Flesher drops to one knee in center-ring, throwing his arms in the air. The crowd doesn't bother to chant, opting simply to boo as Flesher watches Van Siclen for any signs of life. Once he's taken in enough heat from the crowd, Flesher yanks Van Siclen to his feet and whips

him hard into the corner.

King: You've just gotta love a guy like Flesher, who always has time for his fans.

Edwin: Both of them.

Axis: Flesher's really starting to work hard now. He can feel the European Title in his grasp now that Mike Van Siclen missed the Bullfrog Splash. Flesher knows that if he's going to win this match, now is the time he has to do it.

Flesher charges in after the stunned Van Siclen, but stops just short of executing the avalanche. Rather, he pauses for a moment, readjusts, and nails MVS in the chin with a superkick. Van Siclen crumbles into a seated position in the corner. Seeing this, Flesher runs across the ring to the

adjacent corner, then builds up speed and charges in to nail Van Siclen in the face with his Doc Marten boot. Flesher then hits the same corner and charges in with a second boot to the face, and finally hits Van Siclen with a third boot before looking up to the ceiling and dragging his thumb across his throat, the classic "throat slit" that gets the fans chanting "GO TO HELL! GO TO HELL!" Flesher charges in one more time and nails Van Siclen with a final, extra-stiff boot to the face before dragging him to his feet and pulling him to center-mat.

Flesher nails Van Siclen in the jaw with a hard shotei and lifts him up for a vertical suplex, but stalls...

And stalls....

And STALLS.....

Before dropping MVS down in a savage brainbuster! Jim Stine counts

ONE

TWO

THR- NO!!!!!!!! Van Siclen somehow manages to lift a shoulder!!!!!! Flesher looks stunned and grabs his head, then starts pounding his head into Van Siclen's ribs!

Axis: My god.... it's like... half tantrum, half series of headbutts!!!

Edwin: Flesher can't win! Van Siclen's too tough!

Flesher once again pulls the semi-lifeless Van Siclen to his feet and sets up a gutwrench suplex. However, instead of following it through, he stalls for a moment, readjusts to set Van Siclen off to the side, and jumps into the air, coming down on his BUTT with Van Siclen landing squarely on

his head and neck!

King: EGO BUSTER by The Superior One! Van Siclen won't be getting up from this one! Maybe this kid DOES have some killer instinct in him!

Flesher rolls MVS onto his back and kneels down on him, assuming a biceps-flex pose... but he looks nervous, and pulls Van Siclen up before Jim Stine can count.

Axis: What’s Flesher doing? He’s ignoring possibly the biggest pin in his career to date!

Flesher pulls Van Siclen to his feet and then hoists him up into a torture rack. Flesher bounces for a moment, adjusting the hold, and then hooks Van Siclen’s arms.

Axis: A torture rack out of Flesher....

Edwin: This doesn’t look good.

Axis: I think we all know what this means....

Edwin: ZING!

Flesher extends himself to his full height, jumps in the air very slightly, and drives Van Siclen’s head into the mat in a vicious Burning Hammer. Van Siclen connects with the mat head-first, then lands lifelessly on his back. Flesher climbs on top of him... not posing, not preening, just a simple lateral press with a leg hook. Stine counts

ONE

TWO

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!

“Tell All The People” starts to blare over the PA as Flesher gets to his knees. He looks stunned, then looks down at the still body of Mike Van Siclen. He pauses, and is finally interrupted when Jim Stine hands him the SJL European belt. Flesher takes the belt, clutches it close to his body, and curls up around it. After a moment, Flesher gets to his feet and straps the belt around his waist, pauses, and falls backwards with his arms in the air in a “Nestea plunge.” The camera zooms in on Flesher and catches the giant, idiotic grin on his face as Shawn Brody sprints to the ring and helps him to his feet. MVS rolls out of the ring, holding his head, as Flesher poses in the middle of the ring. His face still crusty with blood, Flesher is oblivious to the boos of the fans, opting instead to hear the few fans cheering a hard-fought match.

Axis: Look at that... Flesher’s euphoric about this title win.

Edwin: He damn near killed Mike Van Siclen to do it.

King: Hey, I damn near killed you and I let you WIN the match. Flesher’s excitement will wear off. Wait until he realizes that he’s not the World Champion, like I was.

Axis: I don’t think this is going to be wearing off of Flesher for a long, long time. We’ll be back in a moment with our main event, the returning Stryke up against SJL mainstays Ash Ketchum and Funkmaster Flexxx in a triple threat match!

March 31, 2002

As Crimson returns from the break, we go to the parking lot to see Ced Ordonez walk in the back in his street clothes and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He is obviously leaving for the night as he searches the lining of his leather jacket for the keys to his rental car. He hears a jingle and pulls them out as he gets to his car. He gets his door ajar but somebody off screen kicks the car door shut again. We pull back to show the leg belonging the upset Fallen Angel flanked by Tom Flesher and Melissa. Brody confronts Ced and begins to blow off his steam.

“Are you proud of what you did tonight, Ced?”

Ced looks at his rival, smirks, and says, “Actually, no, I’m not proud of what I did tonight, but seeing who I did it to…I’ll be willing to forgive myself in the morning.” Ced turns to open his door again, only to have Brody slam his fist into the window, shattering the glass. Ced reverts his attention to Brody and asks, “You know, this is a rental car and you’re gonna have to pay for that.”

The Fallen Angel points to the broken window. “Pay for that? That’s where your wrong, Ced. That’s for costing me the TV Title. No, that barely covers it at all. Am I right, Tom?” Flesher flashes an evil grin as he slowly nods his head. Brody continues, “Ced, you screwed me out of the TV Title, and that title meant a great deal to me. So I’m here to collect what you owe me. No, don’t get your wallet out because I’m not here for money.” Ced drops his duffel bag on the ground and gets his fists up. “Glad you understand, Ced. I’m not here for green, I’m here for crimson and lots of it…”

Brody gets a cheap shot and Ced falls to the asphalt. The Fallen Angel and the Superior One stomp away relentlessly until a voice of camera yells, “Hey! What’s going on over there?” The camera turns to reveal a familiar face running towards the beatdown.

Axis identifies the man;“It’s Ash Ketchum! Did he just get into the building?”

The Fallen Angel sees Ash and looks disgusted. He motions to his entourage and the three of them leave allowing Ced to lick his wounds. The Pokè Freak surveys the damage done to Ced and his car and asks Ced, “Are you OK, bud?”

Ced clutches his ribcage, looks at Ash and nods. “Some jerks wanting to mess with me, that’s all. I’ll be fine. I’ll just head back to my hotel room and rest.”

“Well, if you’re going to be fine, I guess I’ll let you on your way.” Ash squats down and picks up Ced’s bag. “Here, you dropped this.”

Ced opens his car door and brushes the glass off the leather car seat before turning to Ash and grabbing his bag. He tosses it onto the passenger side and starts up his car. Ced revs up the car a few times before noticing Ash starting to walk away in his passenger side mirror. He puts the rental car into reverse, rolls down the windows and begins honking to get Ash’s attention.

“That was a bit rude wasn’t it?”, Ced questions Ash rhetorically. “Sorry about that, Ash. Forgot my manners for a second. Well, thanks for the save there and good luck on your match tonight.” Ced puts his car into drive and heads to the exit. Ash watches him drive away before heading back to the locker room with a small smile on his face. The screen fades out and we head to a quick commercial break.

March 31, 2002

Cutting back from commercial, a shot shows the inside of a packed arena. The ring is set up, the crowd is on their feet… it's time for SJL Crimson, live from Rochester, New York in the beautiful Blue Cross Arena! Decked out in JL gear, each fan joins in, but some carry signs, waving them in an attempt to get on TV. The few that do read "Poke-freaks of Rochester!" with an arrow or two pointing down to several giddy Ash fans who need to be sedated in the eyes of every heel, "Na na na na… na na na na… hey hey hey… goodbye Clan!!!" "www.jacobhelmsleys**ks.com" "Flexxx-Hometown Hero!!!" and the mandatory "What?" sign or two. The camera continues to pan the arena of happy fans, then abruptly cuts to the announcers table, where Axis, Edwin, and The Suicide King sit, camera focused on The Suicide King as Edwin casually pokes his head into the picture. Mr. Fuzzums, Edwin's stuffed panda is placed next to the Panda Wrangler’s monitor, who happily sits there, enjoying the night as much as he can.

King: And we're back on SJL Crimson, the best show, my show, no one else but me because I'm the greatest thing to ever happen to the SWF, SJL, or any other S-whatevers! I am your God for tonight, The Suicide King, and I'm invading this damn SJL… and liking it!!! Joining me to my left and right are my two peons, the Abstract Aussie Axis, and the Equally Enigmatic Englishman, Commissioner Edwin MacPhisto.

Edwin: That's MACPHISTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Do it again… this time, with feeling!!! (He points to King.) Aaaaaaaaand action!

Axis: Edwin, shut up. Anyways, we're here, live in-

King(cutting off Axis): Shove it, Axis. I'm the former World Champ. I'll do the talking. Anyways, tonight, here in Rochester, a place with a bunch of people with weird accents and you can't understand them, we have our main event, which would be next. Stryke, perhaps one of the greatest JL wrestlers of all time, fights hometown half-wit Flexxx and-

Edwin: THE POKE FREAK HIMSELF, ASH KETCHUM!!!! AREN'T YOU EXCITED, KING?

King: I'm thrilled. Now go away. I don't want to catch your loser germs.

Edwin: Well that was uncalled for…

Cutting off Edwin from further comment, "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit as four blue firework pyros bast up from the stage, followed seconds later by four silver ones. But to top it all off, a huge blue flame of pyro blasts up from the middle of the entrance way, and when the sparks and smoke clear, Stryke stands on top of the entryway, his arms out in a crucifix position while Funyon beings the mic up to his lips for tonight's final match, the crowd's boos thundering through the arena…

Funyon: The following is a triple threat match scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, from Sydney, Australia… (Funyon speaks louder, trying to overcome the incredibly loud boos) weighing in at 207 pounds… STRYYYYYYYYYYYYYKE!

At that moment, the crowd snaps, booing loud enough to drown out a jet engine or two. After absorbing the ice, no, absolute zero cold reception from the crowd, Stryke heads down to the ring via the ramp, sliding into it before making his way to the far right corner. Climbing up, he raises his right arm to the fans, resulting in another wave of hatred for the sinister Australian. As the fans boo their hearts out, Stryke hops down into the ring.

King: This man is a monster!

Edwin: He's a man-beast!!!!

King: Who asked you?

Edwin: Mr. Fuzzums.

King: And that is?

Axis: It's his stupid stuffed panda he always has.

King: …You smoke crack, don't you Edwin?

Edwin: No… besides… this is my show and I can do what I want!

King: No, it's my show, you a**hole. CRIMSON BELONGS TO THE SUICIDE KING!!!!

Edwin: OK. (Edwin puts on his headphones and begins to sing.) …oh would you be my girl-friend…

Axis: God… no… he's singing N*Sync… HELP ME!!!!

Just then Axis is cut off as the lights go out, the sold-out Cleveland crowd rising to its feet.

Edwin: YES!!!! THIS IS IT!!!

Edwin grabs Axis by the shoulders and shakes him as he overreacts… like he usually does.

Axis: Almost time to go home… almost time to go home…

Just then, the beginning of U2’s "Elevation" begins to play, the part at the beginning pumping the crowd up as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron and shoots up in front of the entrance, like Christian’s entrance. But then, as the first words begin, the pyro in front of the entrance stops, a spotlight shining onto the stage, shining off Ash, who is in a Jericho-like pose. The crowd pops like there’s no tomorrow as the see the Poke Freak, shiny Tag Title clutched in his left hand. Misty is on his left side, wearing a sexy pink string bikini, her hair pulled back into it’s usual ponytail on the left side with a pink scrunchie, gold chain ankle bracelet on her left ankle, her arms on her hips smiling as Ash spins around from his Jericho pose and walks halfway down the ramp. Stopping his walking, Ash brings his right arm up straight in the air quickly and makes his signature split-finger victory sign with his right hand. At this point, five red pyro blasts shoot up from the stage in unison, right where the original pyro was. Ash and Misty release themselves from their poses and go down to ringside, Ash slapping hands with the fans and getting pumped up as a video of clips from his best IGNWF, JL, and ML matches plays on the SmarkTron.

Funyon: And his opponents: Being accompanied by Misty, from Pallet Town… weighing in at 255 pounds… he is a member of X FORCE NINE… ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMM!!!!!

He climbs up onto the apron, opens the ropes to let Misty in, then climbs in himself, removing his Jeff Jarrett-style sunglasses. Ash climbs the turnbuckle closest to the crowd and usually takes off his shirt, whipping it into the first two or three rows of the crowd, giving a lucky fan a souvenir to take home. Ash then hops off the turnbuckle as Misty poses next to him in a cute and sexy pose that drives the guys wild! A twenty-one-year-old Ash fan, a college kid from the University of Rochester, third row, catches it, and he gives Ash a big thumbs up, happy to have something of his idol’s. Ash responds back with a thumbs up of his own and a bonus wink, then turns back around as the crowd chants his name, almost deafening in amplitude …

Crowd: ASH!!! ASH!!! ASH!!! ASH!!!

Edwin: YAY!!!! ASH IS HERE!!!

King: Edwin, for my sake, shut you damn mouth.

Edwin: You're mean… no wonder why no one wants your autograph…

Axis: Ketchum got slammed through a table on Metal, and I bet he wants to take some anger out on these two!

Suddenly, the lights come up from Ash's entrance and "Sleep Now in the Fire" by Rage Against the Machine plays as the crowd goes insane. A video of Flexxx's TKO flashes on the SmarkTron screen, and just as there's a clip of a bomb hitting, a huge yellow stream of pyro flies into the ramp and explodes three times! BOOM! But from behind the smoke, the hometown boy, Flexxx, walks out to the ramp and does striking and spinning motions with his trusty, lethal kendo stick. The crowd marks out for him, going crazy as Funyon once more brings the mic up…

Funyon: And from ROCHESTER, NEW YORK, weighing in at 267 pounds… FLEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

Flexxx then enters the ring walks to the center, followed up by the mounting of all four turnbuckles, raising his hands up in the air with the trademark split-finger victory sign that Edwin feels was swiped from the Poke Freak.

Edwin: Jesus, look at that. He's copying Ash Ketchum. Ketchum's been using that for well over a year now. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!

King: Stop your b****ing. No one cares you carnival freak.

The crowd, meanwhile, chants the name of their hometown hero, louder than Ash's name was chanted…

Crowd: FLEXXX! FLEXXX! FLEXXX! FLEXXX!

Axis: The crowd is on their feet for Rochester's homeboy!

King: Well, at least it drowns out Edwin's music and singing…

As Flexxx hops down off the turnbuckle, he turns, seeing the two other men as the ref explains the instructions to all three men. Once he finishes, he nods and signals the timekeeper…

DING DING DING!!!

King: Ah… it shall be enjoyable to see Stryke rip these men limb from limb…

Axis: We'll see, King, we'll see…

As the men begin to close in on each other, both Ash and Flexxx turn sharply, pivoting to face Stryke, and like a pack of rabid hyenas, the two men jump at Stryke, assaulting him with numerous kicks and blows, forcing Stryke back to the ropes. Stryke tires to defend himself, but is unsuccessful as the two fan favorites each grab an arm of their Australian opponent, and with a tug, send Stryke flying to the ropes. He bounces off them, and shooting back at Flexxx and Ash, the two faces extend their arms out for a double team clothesline, but Stryke ducks under their arms, bouncing off the ropes behind them. As Flexx and Ash turn around, Stryke extends both arms out, dropping the men to the mat with a countering double clothesline! Ash and Flexxx hit the mat but bounce back up. Flexxx turns to attack Stryke first, but the Aussie is ready, bending over as he scoops up Flexxx, turns him around, and slams him onto his back with a basic scoop slam. Meanwhile, Ketchum stands behind Stryke, but Stryke turns to dispose of Ash, leaping into the air as he does, thrusting his legs out as he nails Ash in the face with a quick dropkick! Ash drops onto his back as Stryke hits the mat, getting up at the same speed as Flexxx.

Axis: So, this is your big "monster", King? A scoop slam, clothesline, and dropkick? Please. Kevin Nash does more than that…

However, Stryke silences Axis as he grabs Flexxx behind the head, and using his strength, launches Flexxx over the top rope, sending the Flunkmaster tumbling onto the concrete below. Stryke's maneuver is met with a hail of boos as Ash Ketchum begins to get up.

King: Just you wait, peon. The monster within shall be awakened soon…

As Ash grabs his head and gets to his feet, King's prophecy begins to come true. While Ketchum regains his bearings, the Aussie monster runs back, bouncing off the ropes Ash faces away from, and launching himself at the Undercard King, grabbing Ketchum in a side headlock and dropping to the mat, slamming Ash's head into the may with a vicious bulldog! The ring shakes as both men hit the mat, but Stryke rolls Ash onto his back, covering him for the early pin…

One…

T-Ash kicks out! Ketchum stays down while Stryke gets to his feet, facing Ketchum, and begins to thrust his leg out into stomps into Ketchum's chest. Ash cries in pain as he desperately tries to block them, but is unsuccessful until the barrage stops. But then, Stryke grabs a leg of Ash, lifting it up, and falling forward, drops an elbow onto the knee of Ketchum! Ash grabs his knee and grimaces in pain while Stryke gets up.

Axis: Stryke's tearing Ash apart!

King: Damn right. He should be-

Edwin: Look! We got Spanish announcers! I never noticed them!

Sitting at a table next to Edwin, Axis, and King are the two Spanish color commentators: El Luchador Magnifico… and some other guy with a long Spanish name that no one remembers.

Edwin: Hola, senõr Magnifico!!!

ELM: Hola, amigo! Cuál es ese rey del perdedor que hace con usted? (What's that loser King doing with you?)

Edwin: He "invaded".

Edwin grins as ELM laughs loudly, the others lost in the conversation.

King: Huh? Are they talking in Loserish?

However, as Stryke gets up, a pissed off Flexxx slides under the bottom rope and pops himself up behind the Aussie. Stryke doesn't see Flexxx coming as he charges at Stryke, extending his arm out and smashing his forearm into the back of Stryke's head! Stryke falls down, victim of a forearm smash, but he gets up quickly. However, as he gets up, Flexxx lifts one foot up, spinning as he nails Stryke with his right heel into a spinning heel kick! Stryke drops to the mat hard, landing on his back as Flexxx finishes spinning, but he gets quickly once more. Stryke sits up, pushing himself up onto his feet, but as he turns to confront his attacker, Flexxx swings his arm out, slashing Stryke across the chest with A MIGHTY CHOP OF DESTRUCTION, the crowd "Woo!"ing in response to the blow. Quickly, Strykes's right arm is grabbed as Flexxx whips the Australian to the ropes. As Stryke hits them and flies back, shooting toward Flexxx.

Axis: Flexxx is back in this! Look at him go!

Edwin: Hometown advantage! This is a prime example of Edwin Philosophy #17! Just one part of "The Panda Wrangler Says: Edwin's Book Of Philosophies!!!!", now on sale at bookstores everywhere!!!

As Stryke is about to hit Flexxx, Flexxx grabs him, lifting him into the air and slamming him down on one knee… Flexxx's right knee, groin first with a cheer-producing Manhattan drop!

King: Hey, no cheap plugs for dorky books on my show, MacFreako…

As Stryke drops back onto the mat, Flexxx quickly jumps on top of him, covering him for a quick pin attempt!

One…

Two… Stryke kicks out! Just about now, Ash is starting to get back up, but Flexxx grabs Stryke, pulling him up onto his feet. Grabbing Stryke's wrist, Flexxx whips him to the ropes as Ash gets up on one knee, but Stryke counters, whipping Flexxx to the ropes and bending forward for a back body drop. But as Flexxx shoots back, he leaps over the bent over body of Stryke, grabbing him in a waistlock and flipping himself onto the mat, flipping both men into a hopping sunset flip pin!

One…

Two… Ketchum breaks up the pin with a boot to the back of Flexxx! Flexxx falls off of Stryke, and he begins to get up. As he does, Ash kicks him in the gut, the Rochester native bending over forward, and encircling his head with his arm, Ash falls back onto the mat, DDTing Flexxx sharply into the mat! His head hits the mat, but he seemingly is unfazed, the crowd behind him as he slowly gets up.

Edwin: What resilience! Flexxx seems to use the crowd's cheers to his advantage!

King: Or maybe he's just no-selling everything…

Axis: Why would he do that?

King: Well, if I were fighting a loser like Ash… I would…

Ash strikes first, though, thrusting his leg out for a roundhouse kick to the chest, but Flexxx catches it, holding onto it. As Ash now hops on one foot, he leaps off that foot, swinging his leg up under the chin of Flexxx with a frontflip enziguri as he continues to flip, landing on his feet as Flexxx hits the mat hard.

Axis: Nice frontflip enziguri from Ash!

King: What the hell is that? The Matrix or something?

Ash watches Flexxx fall to the mat and stay there. Still down, Ash sees a chance to pile the damage on, and he runs to the ropes, bouncing off them. As he rebounds, he charges at Flexxx, but within about ten feet of him, he does a forward somersault, rolling within a foot of him as he lands upon his feet.

Axis: I think he's gonna hit it! A rolling five-star frog splash from Ash!

King: Who cares? I'm the former champion. I don't, and you shouldn't either.

Immediately leaping into the air without stopping, extending and contracting his arms, Ash flows gracefully into a rolling five-star frog splash! Ash lands chest first upon Flexxx, and controlling the feedback from the move, Ash is able to pin Flexxx, the ref dropping to the mat to make the count…

One…

Two… Flexxx kicks out! The crowd cheers like crazy as he does so, but Ash gets off Flexxx, turning around to look at the audience while Flexxx, grabbing his chest and slowly staggering to his feet in pain. Flexxx, though, staggers toward Ash, who looks back, sees Flexxx, and drops to his knees, hooking Flexxx's arms as he stumbles over him and dropping Flexxx into a backslide pin!

One…

Two… Flexxx kicks out again! The hold is broken as Flexxx rolls down Ash's back, landing on his own back, but slowly, pushing himself up as Ash tries to do the same. However, as Flexxx gets onto his feet, Ash grabs hold of Flexxx, tripping him onto his back as he rolls Flexxx up into a roll up pin for another attempt!

One…

Two… Flexxx does it again! This time, Flexxx falls onto his chest, staying there while Ash slowly, desperately tries to get up.

Edwin: WOW!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!

Axis: I can't believe Flexxx kicked out of three different pinning attempts!

Edwin: Like I said… hometown advantage!

King: …

Meanwhile as Flexxx tries to push himself up, Ash reacts to Flexxx's movements, grabbing Flexxx's arms and hooking them with his own. Lifting Flexxx up, he prepares to drop the Flunkmasta into a double underhook suplex, but suddenly, he drops to a knee, dropping Flexxx onto his extended knee with an underhook backbreaker… the Blastoise Backcracker!!!! Flexxx drops to the mat, grabbing his back and crying in pain, but then, Ash bends down, grabbing Flexxx and oh so slowly pulling him up. Flexxx is unsuspecting as Ash grabs him around the head, lifting him off his feet and dropping back, nailing Flexx in the head with an inverted DDT that knocks down both men! The two remain down for quite a while as Stryke slowly tries to get up, but slips and falls to the mat.

Axis: WOW!!! These three are all down!!! This could go any which way!

King: But you know Stryke will win. He's the best the JL has to offer.

Edwin: Not so, King. Whatcha think, Magnifico?

ELM(in broken English): Ketchum win match.

Slowly, as the crowd cheers them on, the two brawlers begin to get up, using their arms to push themselves slowly onto their feet. Starting to get up, Flexxx turns to face Ash, not the brightest thing as Ash turns to face him, the crowd really into the match by now. Ducking down, Ash slides Flexxx onto his shoulders, and before he can react, swings him over his right shoulder, his head placed between Ash’s legs as he drops into a sitting position, driving Flexxx’s head into the ring with a devastating cradle Samoan Driver!!!!

Edwin: Holy ****!!! Ash hits a Mew Driver!!!!!

Meanwhile, Ash rolls Flexxx up for the three count, the ref dropping to the mat to make the count as Stryke gets up…

One…

Two… Ash releases the pin as Stryke leaps at the two men, delivering an elbow drop intended for Ash, but hitting Flexxx instead! Flexxx cries in pain as Stryke's elbow sinks into his chest, but as Ash gets up, he looks down at Flexxx crying in pain and not at Stryke.

Axis: Brilliant move by Ash Ketchum, ducking Stryke's elbow drop!

King: Is that illegal?

Axis: Oh come on… don't play stupid, King…

Edwin: He can't help it.

Meanwhile, as Ash gets up, Stryke gets up, but remains crouched down. As Ash turn to face Stryke, he strikes, thrusting his leg up into the chin of Ash Ketchum with a savage superkick called the Heatseeker! The blow drops Ash onto his back, knocking him out and leaving him on his back, perpendicular to a near-by turnbuckle. Seeing this, Stryke jumps over the body of Ash, landing on the other side, and goes to that turnbuckle, quickly hopping to the top rope and flipping off back into a moonsault with no delay. However, Stryke flips and extra 90 degrees, instead landing on his knees, which plunge into Ash's chest, delivering a double knee drop to the Pokemonster!

Edwin: Ooooohhh!!! The Lithium Heart Attack! This isn't good for Ash!

King: Peon, shut your mouth. We don't care. Enjoy this match while it lasts.

As Stryke relaxes after the move, he remains on his knees, which isn't the smartest thing to to, considering Flexxx is getting up behind him. Unaware of the impending danger,

Stryke starts to lean forward for a pin, but as Flexxx sees this, he hops onto his feet and runs, leaping into the air as he spins. Thrusting his legs out, Flexxx delivers a missile dropkick to the back of Stryke that knocks his body to the side, away from Ash. Both Stryke and Flexxx hit the mat hard, but both slowly begin to get up. The sold-out crowd cheers on Flexxx, but as they get to their feet, Strykes spins one rotation clockwise, extending his arm out and knocking Flexxx down with a weakened discus lariat, Flexx dropping to the mat, but soon after sitting up, dazed.

King: I think this is it!!! We may see Stryke hit his finisher!!!

Edwin: Nope. Mr. Fuzzums disagrees with you.

King: Mr. Fuzzums can kiss my a**. This is MY show…

Just as Flexxx recovers from the discus lariat, Stryke drops to his knees, forcing Flexxx to trip over him as he grabs him, throwing him into a fireman's carry, but Stryke stands up. Now on his feet, he prepares to whip Flexxx into a diamond cutter and finish the Overdrive and the match. But as Stryke releases the leg of Flexxx, the Flunkmasta drops behind Stryke, and hooking his leg, Flexxx floats into a beautiful Olympic Slam, now preparing to lift up Stryke and execute the Golden Gun! However, this time, Stryke pulls his leg out from Flexxx's grasp, and sliding behind Flexxx, puts an arm on Flexxx's back and pushes him away to the ropes. Flexxx bounces chest-first off the ropes, bouncing back toward Stryke as he turns around, but Flexxx whips his arm around into a quick and desperate punch, swinging and missing Stryke as he spins. As Flexxx spins, Stryke catches him diamond cutter-style, and dropping onto his back, drops Flexxx onto the mat into a nerve-racking neckbreaker!!!! The Flunkmasta goes down for the count, but Stryke quickly sits up, just in time to see Ash Ketchum get back up.

Axis: What a truly vicious neckbreaker from Stryke!

King: The monster lives!!! Kill, Stryke… KILL!!!

Edwin: You know… you're…

Axis: Going crazy?

Edwin: Don't mind if I do! WOOOOOOO!!!!

As Ash and Stryke both slowly get to their feet, Stryke begins to move toward Ash, inching bit by bit toward the Pokemonster, the crowd seemingly unaware of what is going on. As Stryke and Ash get to their feet, Stryke's knee shoots up into the gut of Ash, causing him to bend over in pain. Stryke takes a step back, and then, jumping into the air, places his left leg on the back of Ash's head, dropping to the mat as he slams Ash's face into the mat with a guillotine leg drop…

Axis: RECOIL!!! RECOIL FROM STRYKE!!!

Meanwhile, as Ash's face hits the mat, Stryke flips Ash over, quickly hooking his leg and covering him for what seems like the final pin of tonight.

King: Stick a fork in this match… it's f'n done!

One…

Two…

THREE!!!!

NO!!! FLEXXX BREAKS THE COUNT UP WITH A STOMP!!!

At that moment, tired and weak and hungry for a Choco Taco, Ash pushes himself, grabbing the ropes and using them as leverage to pull himself to his feet as Stryke grabs his head and neck and slowly staggers onto his feet, not knowing Ash has done so. Ketchum then staggers to the turnbuckle and slowly climbs to the top rope, turning his back to Stryke. As Stryke sighs and turns his head up and looks toward Ash, spotting him on the ropes, Ash leaps off, twisting into a Phoenix Splash. As he flips, he positions himself so his head faces Stryke, who is frozen in place, then continues the flip. When he gets near to the Aussie, he quickly uses his right arm to grab Stryke's head, falling back as he drives Stryke forward into an amazing spiked DDT! Stryke's head smashes into canvas, and as Ash releases Stryke, he falls over onto his back. Exhausted and ready to end it, Ash drapes an arm over Stryke as he covers his, the ref dropping to the mat to make the count as the Spanish announcers, El Luchador Magnifico and some other guy next to him, count along…

Uno (One)…

Dos (Two)…

TRES(THREE)!!!!

The bell rings as Ash rolls onto his back and Misty excitedly jumps up and down while her man slowly tries to get up, breathing heavily and sweating profusely while the Rochester crowd marks out for him. Funyon, outside the ring, brings the mic to his lips as the crowd explodes in cheer.

Funyon: The winner of this match… ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMM!!!!

Edwin: WHOOP-DE-DOOOOO!!! Ketchum hits the jackpot!

Axis: An amazing show put on by all three men.

King: Grrrrr… where was Stryke when you needed him to win?

Meanwhile, the crowd pops as the ref raises the hand of Ash, but the crowd pops louder as Flexxx, now with kendo stick in hand, enters the ring to deal with Stryke! Flexxx twirls the kendo stick around, then draws it above his head, poised to strike!

Axis: Well that should do it for poor old Stryke-

As Flexxx is about to strike down Stryke, he swerves, heading for Ash, and…CRACK! Ketchum collapses to the canvas as Stryke raises the kendo stick above his head again… CRACK! Another hard shot, this time to Ash's chest as the crowd now boos the hometown boy, who drops the stick and yells to the crowd as he grabs a mic from Funyon…

Flexxx: SHUT UP!!! ALL OF YOU UNGRATEFUL SON OF A B****ES!!! YOU'RE ALL JUST MAD BECAUSE YOU AREN'T AS SEXY AS ME!!! Why? Cause I'm tha sex icon of the SJL… tha Flunkmasta Flex..ex…ex! (He looks down at Misty.) And what do we have here? A little pregnant tramp? Ha… let the Flunkmasta show you how a real man does it-

CRACK! From behind, the Flunkmasta is assaulted by Ash Ketchum with a kendo shot to the back of the head to a huge pop! Flexxx drops the mic and falls to the mat, grabbing the back of his head as Ash drops the kendo stick, looking down at Flexxx, and then, he just shakes his head and goes on his way, exiting the ring, meeting up with Misty, and walking back up the ramp to a huge pop as both Flexxx and Stryke get up in the ring. Flexxx grabs his kendo stick and bumps into Stryke, who's pissed at Stryke breaking his three count up. Flexxx explains the situation, but in one quick movement, stryke swipes the kendo stick from Flexxx's hand, and…

Axis: This isn't looking good for Flexxx!

Edwin: Someone call a medic!

King: MAKE HIM BLEED FOR COSTING YOU THE MATCH!!!

CRACK! Stryke slams the kendo stick into the head of Flexxx, drawing a rare cheer from the crowd, but then it turn s back to boos as he walks out of the ring… just the way Stryke likes it.

Axis: What a night! Ash Ketchum wins, but Flexxx is laid out in the ring thanks to a shot from his own kendo stick, courtesy of Flexxx!!! What will happen on SJL Metal? For The Suicide King and EDWIN MACPHISTOOOOOOOOOO!!!!, I'm Axis! G'night everyone!

King: You don't close the show!!! This is my show!

ELM: Buenos noches, amigos!!!!

King: AAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!! SHUT UP!!!!

Just before King explodes in rage off camera, the shot cuts out to a blank screen, the televisions of a few million Americans turning off at this point, changing the channel, or watching the Night Rider reruns that follow Crimson… man… whatever happened to Night Rider? That show ruled! I wish I had a car like that…

March 31, 2002

--------------------------------

Finally, the end of the show! All fans begin to leave the Blue Cross Arena but the sight of Erek Taylor on the Smarkstron stops them all! They all erupt in cheers as Erek Taylor begins walking out to the parking lot, bypassing many crew members as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his keys. Pressing a keypad, a BEEP! can be heard across the arena. The camera zooms in on the keys, revealing that Erek Taylor has cashed in his Camaro to purchase a Lambourghini! Taylor begins whistling, not seeing that Stryke has just approached him from behind.

"(Stryke) Yo Taylor!"

Taylor spins around, arms quickly shooting up for an attack but surprisingly, Stryke stands there still. The Australian Devil marches up, grinning at the High Flying Prince.

"(Stryke) I must say, that was a good joke back there Taylor."

"(Erek) Huh?"

"(Stryke) Yeah, getting me all filthy with spaghetti, and then pouring it off with beer. Very nice. I loved it."

"(Erek) You what?"

"(Stryke) Heh, keep it up Taylor. Your jokes are funny."

Stryke heads the other way, leaving a confused Erek Taylor behind. Taylor heads for his car, thinking of Stryke's words and what drugs Stryke has been smoking. But as he reaches the far end of the parking lot, the view of his Lambourghini reveals all. The camera quickly turns the other way.......

seeing the silver Lambourghini filled with concrete!! The top has been shattered down and there are scratches everywhere! The car's doors have been ripped off and all the windshields have been shattered open! Taylor scrambles up to examine the car, walking around it and finding nothing *BUT* damage! He heads to the front, where a white piece of paper is clipped to the hood. Taylor snatches it and quickly reads......

"Big Boys play with Big Ass Toys. Unfortunately for you, this is my game and I hate toys, especially yours. Watch your back.

- Stryke"

Taylor tosses the paper aside, eyes once again ensnared with red fury. The High Flying Prince heads towards the phone booth as SJL Crimson fades to black.

March 31, 2002

Damnation... this show was promolicious!! No card until I get Thugg's matches, so I wouldn't anticipate it until tomorrow.

First Pin Wins Match

Cutthroat vs. Frost vs. T-Bone

Newbie Frost picks up an impressive win and warns us all of second hand smoke!

TV Title Match

Guest Referee: Ced Ordonez

Winner and NEW TV Champ, Kojack!

Singles Match

Mafia vs. "Deathwish" Danny Williams

Mafia wins a close one over Deathwish!

European Title Match

Winner and NEW Euro Champ, The Superior One!

Triple Threat Match

Stryke vs. Ash Ketchum vs. Flexxx

Ash Ketchum wins it in style, and Flexxx goes over to the dark side! What can this mean faithful viewers?

The mood is definitely beginning to change between Stryke and Erek Taylor, plus it seems that Ced and Brody are going to clash imminently as well! And what about Ash's win in the triple threat?

Stay tuned!

Sjl crimson, march 30!

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