Sjl crimson comments, march 30th

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Hey Shawn, at least you can lay claim to being a former champion...

Breakdancing? *Does a lame Dorkaroonie* At least I've got the power of the Para Para...

[Guest]

I'm gonna post my loser's match. See if you guys can tell if I have improved since my other days in the IGNWF.

 

(Crimson returns via the starswipe…)

 

Axis: Wow…Taylor, he had a lot to say there…

Edwin: Yes he did, and I think he had a point to his madness…

Suicide: I really don’t give a damn, either way…

Axis: Well, let’s just concentrate on the opening match. It’s a Triple Threat Rules Match, meaning that the man who gets the first pin wins the match. This match is between Cutthroat, Frost, who is a newcomer to the SJL, and the biggest shocker of the entire night…the return of the Steak Sauce Covered Bastard…T-BONE!

Edwin: In both T-Bone and Frost’s tryout matches, they showed promise on how they can be forces, but I personally was impressed with T-Bone. He has really improved since the last time we saw him.

Suicide: Well, let’s just see who will be whose bitch this evening…shall we?

Axis and Edwin: LETS!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is a Triple Threat Match. The first pinfall gets the victory. Introducing first, from Greenwich, Connecticut. He weighs 244 pounds…this…isssss…CUUUUUUUUUUUT-THROOOOOOOAT!

 

(The lights go out, and “My Way” from Limp Bizkit blares over the loudspeaker, then, the lights all over the arena are met by a giant explosion, and the enchanting lights lead Cutthroat to the ring, who flips over the top rope, goes to the second rope, and tosses his sunglasses to the crowd before placing his orange dragon-designed shirt on the turnbuckle, as the fans rush to grab those glasses…)

 

Funyon: His opponent, from Reykjavik, Iceland. He weighs 297 pounds. Making his debut in the SJL…FROST!

 

(Frost has a demeanor of stone as blue light and “Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” by Blue Oyster Cult leads him to the ring. He raises a closed fist in the air before entering the ring, preparing for battle, as the crowd doesn’t know how to react to the new wrestler…)

 

Funyon: And their opponent, from…

 

(Suddenly, the light goes out, and the crowd’s attention turns to the SJLTron, showing the near-fatal injury to T-Bone at the hand of Red Storm Rising. Then, the Tron goes dark, and an ominous voice speaks: “HE…has returned.” The first bell of “Hell’s Bells” from AC/DC rings, and the lights flash as T-Bone steps out of the curtain, and struts to the ring as the crowd roars in approval. T-Bone jumps to the apron and reaches into his jacket pocket. He pulls out the A-1 Sauce, takes a swig, and tosses it to the crowd. He stands, and as the main riff begins, T-Bone spews the sauce out of his mouth, HHH-style, and steps into the ring. He readies for battle as well. Suddenly, Cutthroat jumps on T-Bone before he can take off his jacket. He pounds away, and gets a strong, fast uppercut type shot.)

 

Axis: T-Bone has been jumped at the beginning, and Cutthroat has hit him with a Slice Punch early!

 

(Cutthroat whips T-Bone to the ropes, and readies a clothesline, but T-Bone ducks and comes back with a clothesline of his own. Frost, the mammoth of the match, then comes in and knocks T-Bone down with a spinning back punch. With both faces down, Frost lies in wait for the next man to stand up. It’s Cutthroat, who runs right into a goozle. Frost lifts him up by the throat and slams him down to the mat.)

 

Axis: WHAT A CHOKESLAM! FROST HAS GREAT STRENGTH!

Edwin: Frost is showing his power early.

Suicide: Forget the groundhog…listen to FROST on whether Winter comes early or not!

 

(Meanwhile, T-Bone has climbed the top turnbuckle, and waits for Frost to turn around, and a 275 pound missile comes off the top with a flying clothesline, knocking the big man down.)

 

Axis: THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

 

(Cutthroat is still down, so T-Bone makes a cover on him.)

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! Two count only…

 

(T-Bone goes up again, but Frost punches him, and crotches T-Bone on the top rope. T-Bone then flips on his back, holding his groin, while Cutthroat comes from behind with a low blow, turning the big man around. Cutthroat lifts him up and brings Frost’s groin across his knee with a Manhattan Drop. He then bounces off the ropes and catches Frost with a heel kick, knocking him down. He makes a cover.)

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! Two count only…

 

(Frost presses Cutthroat off of him as he breaks up the pin. While Frost starts getting up, T-Bone rises as well, and he and Cutthroat start kicking at the big man. They decide to team up on him, as they double-team him and Irish Whip him against the ropes. The big man bounces back and catches both faces with a clothesline.)

Axis: Is the man THAT unstoppable?

King: ALL people have weaknesses, and yours happens to be commentary! BWAHAHAHAHA!

 

(Cutthroat looks down at his opponents, and picks up T-Bone. He stands him up, and puts his right arm around T-Bone’s neck, in the Uranage position. He lifts T-Bone up for the Ice Shelf, but in mid-air, T-Bone grabs the left arm with his other arm and brings him down, and locks the arm with his legs, reaching around the face of Frost, and clinching in the crossface.)

 

Mac Daddy: WHAT A COUNTER! T-Bone turned the Ice Shelf into the Crossface!

 

(T-Bone is wrenching back as Frost is reaching for the ropes. The ref asks Frost if he would like to give up, but before a response is made, Cutthroat breaks up the submission by hitting a sit-out dropkick to T-Bone’s temple. He then takes T-Bone’s leg and locks it with his legs, and then wrenches his head back with a facelock.)

 

Axis: Cutthroat puts T-Bone in an STF!

 

(Meanwhile, Frost has shaken off the effects of the Crossface, and grabs Cutthroat by his hair. He kicks him in the stomach, takes Cutthroat’s arm, and brings it between his own legs. He brings his other arm back, and lifts him up, but Cutthroat skins the cat and slides down his back, pushing Frost into a waiting T-Bone, who kicks him in the stomach, and slits his throat with his thumb, bringing the big man between his legs in the powerbomb/piledriver position.)

 

Axis: He can’t. T-Bone isn’t strong enough…

 

(T-Bone lifts Frost up and brings him over his shoulder...)

 

Edwin: No way…

 

(And throws him down on his back.)

 

King: No way…

Axis: THUNDER FIRE POWERBOMB! The 300-pound monster has just been powerbombed by YOUR Steak Sauce Covered Bastard!

 

(The crowd is in chaos. The big man has been felled by a huge move, and T-Bone goes to the second rope in approval and plays to the crowd. That ends up being a huge mistake, as Cutthroat comes from behind and wraps his arms around T-Bone’s waist, placing his head under his arm, lifting him up, and falling back with a Super Backdrop.)

 

Axis: WHAT A MOVE! The Super Backdrop has put T-Bone down!

 

(Cutthroat, well, cuts his throat, and goes to the top rope.)

 

Axis: This could be it!

 

(Cutthroat sets himself and leaps off, doing an inverted flip, by flipping with his stomach first, doing a full rotation, and coming down stomach first with a splash, but it misses T-Bone, as he rolls out of the way.)

 

Axis: The Shooting Star Press misses!

 

(Meanwhile, Frost has come off the ropes, and he leaps into the air, looking for a big splash, but he misses Cutthroat, who rolls to safety.)

 

Edwin: Is everybody going to miss?

King: WAIT! There’s T-Bone!

 

(T-Bone has climbed up top and looks to the fans, who are standing up, waiting for T-Bone to make his leap. T-Bone looks to his opponents, waiting to see who he will pick.)

 

Axis: What is he waiting for?

 

(He looks to Frost, and has set his sights on him. He leaps off and brings both his arms and his legs into his chest, before extending them and coming down upon Frost with a big-time splash. He comes off holding his ribs from the impact.)

 

Edwin: OH MY GOD! From the playbook of Rob Van Dam, Art Barr, and Eddie Guerrero! T-Bone has hit the Frog Splash!

 

(T-Bone rolls over to make the cover…)

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THR…

 

(Cutthroat leaps onto T-Bone with an axehandle to break up the pin. All three men are slow to get up, and T-Bone is in the middle. Both Cutthroat and Frost look to hit T-Bone with a clothesline, and T-Bone ducks, and that makes Cutthroat and Frost clothesline each other. T-Bone picks up Frost and kicks him in the stomach. He brings Frost’s arm and puts it in between his own legs. He brings his other arm back into the pumphandle position.)

 

Axis: I don’t think T-Bone can do it…

 

(Axis is right, as Cutthroat comes from behind with a forearm, wraps his arms around T-Bone’s waist, and then brings him over his own body, putting T-Bone right on his head.)

 

King: Nice German from Cutthroat…

 

(Cutthroat makes the quick cover, but Frost stops it from happening by wrapping his arms around Cutthroats neck, brings Cutthroat’s arm his own neck, and then slips his arms between the neck and arm of Cutthroat.)

 

Axis: That’s the finishing move! It’s the Cobra Clutch from Frost!

 

(T-Bone has come in behind Frost, wrapping an arm around his neck, and bringing him down by his neck with a DDT. Cutthroat is out from the Cobra Clutch, and T-Bone lies in wait, making the cutthroat motion.)

 

Axis: Wait, T-Bone is waiting on Frost. He wants the PORTERHOUSE SUPLEX!

King: NOW THAT name is gayer than Billy, Chuck, X-Pac, and the West Hollywood Blondes all rolled into one!

 

(Frost is wobbly, and turns right into where T-Bone is waiting. He locks the arm and leg, and then brings his arms together, but before he can get the suplex, Cutthroat grabs T-Bone’s exposed neck and gets him in the DDT position. He runs up the ropes, turns around, and runs up the ropes, springboards off the top, and turns it around into a DDT.)

 

Axis: FINAL CUTTER! FINAL CUTTER! THE CUTTHROATAHOLICS ARE GOING MAD!

 

(The crowd is jumping up and down as Cutthroat has hit his finisher. He goes for the cover…)

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE…

 

(Frost comes in and breaks up the pinfall attempt. He picks up Cutthroat and kicks him in the stomach, putting him in the powerbomb/piledriver position.)

 

Axis: Now FROST wants to finish it off!

Suicide: This time, Frost will make Cutthroat feel the Early Winter!

 

(Frost takes his time, bringing both arms into position for his Tiger Driver finisher, The Early Winter. From behind, T-Bone has recovered, and he wraps his arms around Frost’s waist. He brings him back, so that Cutthroat isn’t in the way, lifts him straight up, and then brings him straight down on the back of his head, all while holding the bridge.)

 

Axis: Vertical German Suplex! The High Angle German! With a bridge! Cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THR…

 

(Since the ref is out of position, Cutthroat is able to come down upon T-Bone’s groin with thunderous vengeance, and that DEFINITELY stops the pin. He then crosses T-Bone’s legs up and turns him onto his stomach, pulling back on the crossed legs as he stands straight up.)

 

Axis: The Razorblade! T-Bone has to submit! It’s too painful!

Suicide: And it has a 92.8% submit proficiency!

 

(Frost gets up and charges off the opposite ropes, but as he comes towards Cutthroat with a clothesline, Cutthroat breaks the hold and charges at him full force with his shoulder, spearing Frost to the mat.)

 

Axis: The Slicer! The Slicer!

 

(Cutthroat waits for Frost to get up, and then kicks him in the stomach. He gets Frost in a DDT position and runs the ropes to the top rope, spinning as he leaps off into the DDT, knocking Frost out for good.)

 

Axis: The Final Cutter! It’s OVER!

Edwin: Uh oh…

Suicide: What?! That can’t be!

 

(Cutthroat is up, and he plays to the fans, and the fans are cheering…but…they aren’t cheering for him.)

 

Suicide: YOU DUMBASS! Cutthroat! TURN AROUND…Too late…

 

(Cutthroat does turn around, but only to see T-Bone look in his face, smile, and wrap his arm around Cutthroat’s neck, and his other arm around Cutthroat’s leg. He locks his hands and brings Cutthroat over his head, putting Cutthroat directly on the back of his head, keeping the bridge.)

 

Axis: PORTERHOUSE! PORTERHOUSE! COVER!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Suicide: DAMN IT! That stupid Steak Sauce Covered Bastard!

 

Funyon: The winner of the match, as a result of a pinfall, T-BONE!

 

Axis: T-Bone has won the Triple Threat! He has made a triumphant debut in the SJL. Is this new T-Bone really going to do the job?

Edwin: We’ll need to sit back and see.

Axis: We will be right back, after these messages from A-1 Steak Sauce!

 

(Crimson starswipes to commercial.)

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

I've only seen a couple of matches from you, T-Bone, but it seems like you have some ring rust there.

 

Something you definitely don't need.

[Guest WarMachine]

I am not getting pissy.  Iam just very confused, as to why I lost.

 

Maybe its the Puro fan in me, but I had a problem with the following events in Mafia's match.  The smaller Mafia overpowering Deathwish. Deathwish's missile dropkick isn't enough to take over the match, but Mafia's regular dropkick is. No mat wrestling, from two guys who love to stay on the ground.  My character has like 6 moves(not including rare moves) that can be finishers and none of them were attmpeted.

 

In the end my match seemed much more like a brutal war between two evenly matched wrestlers.  While Mafia's match almost seemed like a squash, as Deathwish never once pulled off two moves back to back.  Plus all that stuff you talked about: expressions on faces, details, in character stuff, was much more present in my match, even without a promo.

 

But your the marker, you've been doing this alot longer than me, so I respect your opinion(but that doesn't mean I agree with it).

 

No disrespect to Mafia.  Great Match.  Iam complaining, not insulting.

You do have a right to criticize, and I should answer some of those things.

 

You said something about my match almost being almost like a squash. Now that I did some comparison between our two matches, it was like that. After reading, you are right in the estimation of that, even if I didn't think about it at the time I was writing. In my match, I was more worried about Mafia trying to escape by the skin of my teeth, by pulling out all the stops, and getting lucky in the process; having a faster paced match when all was said and done. For this, I had to sacrifice the mat wrestling, since that IS only one part of Mafia after all.

 

This showed though, especially with my sudden ending, with the Hot Shot followed by the Mob Hit. Hell, the ending didn't even come out as I envisioned it, as I was going to have you hit a couple of your big moves....THEN the 10 count by the Ref, which is when we exchange more hits, then I get a finisher. This would have made things a bit more even. But by then I was up to Deathwish getting 2 1/2 counts on Mafia, so I decided to end it; due to my bad pacing, and the fact that I didn't want to re-write anything.

 

You do have a better grasp of psychology than I do, even using my neck handicap better than I ever used it myself. It showed in your match, and it's evident why it was a close decision by King. All in all, you did do some things a lot better than me, like getting the atmosphere in the arena right, for one.

 

I don't know what else to say, except to keep at it. These things do happen, and like you, there are a couple matches where I felt I should have definitely won.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

I just wanted to say I am thrilled to pick up my first win and am very much looking forward to my next match. Great card overall and I'm glad I joined the SJL to learn the ropes, as it were.