Tearing kayfabe a new...

[Guest PhantMan]

I was looking for a photo to add to my signature when I stumbled across a hogan/andre pic from the wm poster. That got me thinkin' about logic in wrestling, at least the kayfabe portion of it...

 

1) Ok. Slaughter and Andre hated Hogan like no one ever had. So how was it possible for them to pose with him for the poster of wm 3/7? If they really hated each other so much it'd have been impossible, right?

 

2) why does anyone STILL keep on selling the frickin' turnbuckle?

 

3) right around wm, the nwo tried to KILL Rock by running him over with a truck. all of a sudden, rock just forgets anything because Hogan gave him a good match? Does a job from hogan equals one's life?

 

4) The nwo vs wcw war was on for YEARS. every match had a silly stipulation like "winner gets to challenge for every title" or "winner gets his own tv show". why didn't they just book a winner take all, loser gets out match? what was at stake, anyway?

 

5) right around '99, what was the difference between Steve Austin and, let's say, Val venis, Mankind, Goldust, Billy Gunn and 90% of the wwf roster? McMahon kept on hating Austin while EVERYONE was, at that point, a rebel without a cause.

 

6) what was the pointof booking a mask vs mask match between kane and vader at no way out'98 since vader already unmasked in wcw and japan years before?

 

7) Taker didn't partecipate on Raw is Owen to protect his gimmick... why? did he really think the fans would have booed him? I mean, any one knew he was not the DEAD MAN!

 

8) Following logic, if Virgil started calling himself Vince, then Shane as a rib on McMahon, if wcw was alive today, would he call himself Steph/Linda?

 

9) what's the matter with scooter keith posting a transcript of the bill watts shoot interviews when I can get TONS of them here and more detailed?

 

Feel free to add your own Qs.

[Guest The Old Me]

9) what's the matter with scooter keith posting a transcript of the bill watts shoot interviews when I can get TONS of them here and more detailed?

 

Feel free to add your own Qs.

Somebody's sucking up.

[Guest PhantMan]

sucking up? for what? It's not like like I wanna write for the site or what... I mean, I left RandomWrestling b/c I didn't want to write anymore.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

The answer to all of these is simple:

 

It's wrestling. You're not meant to think TOO much about it.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Do you want real answers or the kayfabe answer?

 

The general answer to all your questions is the suspension of disbelief and the creation of a sustained fictional world. We all know that wrestling is not real and that characters and storylines are really no different from any other fictional t.v. show or movie. The goal of any writer, even one with a story based in the "real world," is to create a self sustained fictional world. This world does not have to follow the logic of the real world, as long as it follows the established logic of its created world. Turnbuckles hurt, because they do in the created world. The nWo and WCW kept having little skirmishes, because that's how the battle was waged in their world.

 

Of course, this is not to say that a good portion of the time the wrestling world doesn't follow it's own logic.

[Guest PhantMan]

no, I was looking to the kayfabe answers

[Guest crandamaniac]

1) Ok. Slaughter and Andre hated Hogan like no one ever had. So how was it possible for them to pose with him for the poster of wm 3/7? If they really hated each other so much it'd have been impossible, right?

Only way I can answer this one is to say think of all the boxing press conferences you see when the 2 boxers are standing nose to nose. They may hate each other and both want the same thing, but they're professional enough to not fight out in before the event. That or they know not to give away for free what you can sell on PPV.

[Guest Choken One]

I was looking for a photo to add to my signature when I stumbled across a hogan/andre pic from the wm poster. That got me thinkin' about logic in wrestling, at least the kayfabe portion of it...

 

1) Ok. Slaughter and Andre hated Hogan like no one ever had. So how was it possible for them to pose with him for the poster of wm 3/7? If they really hated each other so much it'd have been impossible, right?

 

2) why does anyone STILL keep on selling the frickin' turnbuckle?

 

3) right around wm, the nwo tried to KILL Rock by running him over with a truck. all of a sudden, rock just forgets anything because Hogan gave him a good match? Does a job from hogan equals one's life?

 

4) The nwo vs wcw war was on for YEARS. every match had a silly stipulation like "winner gets to challenge for every title" or "winner gets his own tv show". why didn't they just book a winner take all, loser gets out match? what was at stake, anyway?

 

5) right around '99, what was the difference between Steve Austin and, let's say, Val venis, Mankind, Goldust, Billy Gunn and 90% of the wwf roster? McMahon kept on hating Austin while EVERYONE was, at that point, a rebel without a cause.

 

6) what was the pointof booking a mask vs mask match between kane and vader at no way out'98 since vader already unmasked in wcw and japan years before?

 

7) Taker didn't partecipate on Raw is Owen to protect his gimmick... why? did he really think the fans would have booed him? I mean, any one knew he was not the DEAD MAN!

 

8) Following logic, if Virgil started calling himself Vince, then Shane as a rib on McMahon, if wcw was alive today, would he call himself Steph/Linda?

 

9) what's the matter with scooter keith posting a transcript of the bill watts shoot interviews when I can get TONS of them here and more detailed?

 

Feel free to add your own Qs.

1) Read Above.

 

 

2). Because, although it's padding...The velocity still hurts.

 

 

3). Rock realized that Hogan was controlled by Nash and Hall and knew it wasn't his fault

 

4). They did. Uncensored 1997. 3 Team Battle Royal.

 

5). Austin drank Beer.

 

6). Because the Mystery of Vader was still very unknown to the newer fans

 

7). The fans do not know that wrestling is fake or rather...scripted.

 

8). who cares about Virgil?

 

9). Don't read SK. He is ugly. *this is NOT kayfabe*

[Guest papacita]

3) right around wm, the nwo tried to KILL Rock by running him over with a truck. all of a sudden, rock just forgets anything because Hogan gave him a good match? Does a job from hogan equals one's life?

Where I come from, repeatedly ramming someone's lifeless body with a truck is considered a sign of respect.

 

5) right around '99, what was the difference between Steve Austin and, let's say, Val venis, Mankind, Goldust, Billy Gunn and 90% of the wwf roster? McMahon kept on hating Austin while EVERYONE was, at that point, a rebel without a cause.

Well, first off, Austin was kicking Vince's ass on a regular basis. That's a legitimate reason right there. Secondly, Austin pretty much spearheaded the rebellion in WWF at the time, so you could argue that the others were just following his example. By making an example out of Austin, Vince could curb all of the crap going on in the undercard...kill the head and the body will fall, I guess.

[Guest CanadianChick]

1) Ok. Slaughter and Andre hated Hogan like no one ever had. So how was it possible for them to pose with him for the poster of wm 3/7? If they really hated each other so much it'd have been impossible, right?

 

THe reason Andre/Slaughter didn't start a fight was because they didn't want to waste a big money PPV. All heels are greedy, don't ya know? And the reason why Hogan didn't start anything was because he was a good guy

 

2) why does anyone STILL keep on selling the frickin' turnbuckle?

 

The padding can only do so much. It is STEEL~! underneath that padding, after all. And when your head is getting pounded into it at top speed, the padding is irrelevent.

 

3) right around wm, the nwo tried to KILL Rock by running him over with a truck. all of a sudden, rock just forgets anything because Hogan gave him a good match? Does a job from hogan equals one's life?

 

Because Rock is Christian. And God told us to forgive.

 

 

5) right around '99, what was the difference between Steve Austin and, let's say, Val venis, Mankind, Goldust, Billy Gunn and 90% of the wwf roster? McMahon kept on hating Austin while EVERYONE was, at that point, a rebel without a cause.

 

Austin directly rebeled agaisnt Vince though. And Vince is greedy, and wanted to make money off the hot feud.

 

 

7) Taker didn't partecipate on Raw is Owen to protect his gimmick... why? did he really think the fans would have booed him? I mean, any one knew he was not the DEAD MAN!

 

Ya gotta maintain kayfabe, brotha.

[Guest PhantMan]

ok, but what about the heels and faces having separate locker rooms? Slaughter was anti-american... yet he was a heel. did he have a separate locker room for himself?

 

why does kane, a certified lunatic and potential killer gets to wrestle on Raw instead of being put in jail?

 

back in the day the nwo filmed a scene where they drove the steiners off the road while in their car. why didn't they get put in jail?

[Guest The Old Me]

sucking up? for what? It's not like like I wanna write for the site or what... I mean, I left RandomWrestling b/c I didn't want to write anymore.

It was a joke!!

[Guest papacita]

ok, but what about the heels and faces having separate locker rooms? Slaughter was anti-american... yet he was a heel. did he have a separate locker room for himself?

 

Uh...I don't understand the question, but yeah. Definitely.

 

why does kane, a certified lunatic and potential killer gets to wrestle on Raw instead of being put in jail?

Because murder and violence mean ratings. Just ask OJ.

 

back in the day the nwo filmed a scene where they drove the steiners off the road while in their car. why didn't they get put in jail?

 

Because the Steiners were obviously at fault. Why should the nWo be punished for the Steiners' reckless driving?

[Guest Choken One]

actually...

 

They did try to arrest Hall and Nash but Bischoff paid the authorities off.

[Guest PhantMan]

ok, what about that episode of Ra, just after JDay'99, where Austin kept McMahon hostage? Ok, Austin got a new contract but, despite using a fake gun, shouldn't he have been jailed?

 

what happened to the Taker's urn?

 

how could Paul Bearer take care of kane when he was on the road with Taker all the time?

 

Ted dibiase hired a new Undertaker at Summerslam'94. why didn't paul bearer sue dibiase for copyright infrangement instead of pitting Calloway vs lee?

[Guest CanadianChick]

ok, what about that episode of Ra, just after JDay'99, where Austin kept McMahon hostage? Ok, Austin got a new contract but, despite using a fake gun, shouldn't he have been jailed?

 

It was only a fake gun! No harm done.

 

what happened to the Taker's urn?

Kama (aka. The Godfather) melted it and used it as chains (this actually happened)

 

how could Paul Bearer take care of kane when he was on the road with Taker all the time?

He kept him locked in a basement with raw meat...or something like that.

 

Ted dibiase hired a new Undertaker at Summerslam'94. why didn't paul bearer sue dibiase for copyright infrangement instead of pitting Calloway vs lee?

 

Because the Undertaker wasn't a gimmick, it is for real. You can't sue someone for having the same name as you.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Who paid for Vince's Corvette after Austin dumped concrete in it... I mean..i'm sure Vince bought a new one or whatever... but that's SOOOOO Property Damage...

 

 

Same for any other time Austin crushed a car or destroyed one.

 

 

 

Most of the refs must have the IQ of a dead tree... as most have been around the block a few times in the ring and yet still don't understand the idea of "HEY THAT GUY IS INTERFERING!"

 

 

Linda is completely insane for continuing to go back to Vince time and time again...even though he almost killed her (too many drugs can do that) and spits out on a constant basis that he doesn't care about her...

 

She must be in it for the money...

 

 

Chris Jericho and HHH......apparently have mutual respect for one another...even after HHH's billion attempts at making him look like an utter fool in front of millions of people...and pretty much succeeding...

 

Val Venis gave up SEX...to...WRESTLE... what the fuck was he thinking...

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

what happened to the Taker's urn?

Kama (aka. The Godfather) melted it and used it as chains (this actually happened)

 

Undertaker got it back and made a new urn though. After that when Paul Bearer turned on Taker he took the urn with him and after awhile it just dissappeared from TV.

[Guest PhantMan]

ok. why is it that shawn michales can challenge for the world title while Brian Christopher, who's the same size as michales, challenged for the lightweight title?

 

how can godfather sell hos without getting jailed for prostitution?

[Guest papacita]

ok. why is it that shawn michales can challenge for the world title while Brian Christopher, who's the same size as michales, challenged for the lightweight title?

Well...because Shawn has a big fan base and...well...he actually won matches.

 

how can godfather sell hos without getting jailed for prostitution?

He never actually sold them (on the air anyway). He merely offered his opponents a night with them, which wasn't a crime last time I checked.

[Guest PhantMan]

Right around wm14, kane used to throw thunders to demonstrate his power... then why didn't he just strike taker with one of those instead of wrestling his match?

 

At a '95 Clash of the Champs (or '9, don't remember), savage hit Hogan with a flying elbow... to revive him! why is it that he used a move he usually executes to finish his opponents? didn't he execute 3/4 elbows to Warrior to finish him off at wm7?

 

Rock used to call himself Rocky maivia first. then he became the Rock. it's common knowledge his real name is Duane Johnson (Vince even called him like that on an episode of raw in '99). why do the fans still chant Rocky since it's not his real name anyway?

[Guest papacita]

Right around wm14, kane used to throw thunders to demonstrate his power... then why didn't he just strike taker with one of those instead of wrestling his match?

Because he'd be disqualified, and even us deranged psychopaths care about winning and losing. Still, it would've been cool as hell to see him do it.

 

Michael Cole: "Undertaker going for the cover...1...2..*lightning bolt strikes Taker* MY GOD WHAT A SUPLEX!!!!!"

 

Eh...so what if I posted that a year ago...it's still cool.

 

At a '95 Clash of the Champs (or '9, don't remember), savage hit Hogan with a flying elbow... to revive him! why is it that he used a move he usually executes to finish his opponents? didn't he execute 3/4 elbows to Warrior to finish him off at wm7?

Because EVERYBODY knows that Hulk can only Hulk up after being hit with a finisher. He's gotta no-sell something.

 

Rock used to call himself Rocky maivia first. then he became the Rock. it's common knowledge his real name is Duane Johnson (Vince even called him like that on an episode of raw in '99). why do the fans still chant Rocky since it's not his real name anyway?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME IS!!

 

[Guest PhantMan]

ok but...

 

- why do wrestlers choose to climb the ladder to exit instead of using the door while they're stunned? Didn't Hulk Hogan teach us all that your opponent will INEVITABLY get up and kick your ass to win the match?

 

- how is it possible that only kane's face was disfigurated while the rest of his body is picture perfect?

 

- why did taker wear a mask after getting legdropped by mabel in '96? it's not like the mask can erase the pain. If anything, it may aggravate it. Same for Brutus Beefcake in '93. that damn mask was made of steel and yet it helped him cope with the pain???

 

- since ted dibiase was a millionaire, why didn't he buy the whole damn wwf instead of trying to buy the belt?

 

- how is it that terry Funk, 122 years old, can beat Sabu and Sandman in ecw but not Ric Flair in wcw?

 

- why can chyna beat jeff jarrett for the ic gold in a hardcore match but not trish stratus for the women's title?

 

- what happened to mae young's han... er, child?

[Guest Choken One]

ok but...

 

- why do wrestlers choose to climb the ladder to exit instead of using the door while they're stunned? Didn't Hulk Hogan teach us all that your opponent will INEVITABLY get up and kick your ass to win the match?

 

- how is it possible that only kane's face was disfigurated while the rest of his body is picture perfect?

 

- why did taker wear a mask after getting legdropped by mabel in '96? it's not like the mask can erase the pain. If anything, it may aggravate it. Same for Brutus Beefcake in '93. that damn mask was made of steel and yet it helped him cope with the pain???

 

- since ted dibiase was a millionaire, why didn't he buy the whole damn wwf instead of trying to buy the belt?

 

- how is it that terry Funk, 122 years old, can beat Sabu and Sandman in ecw but not Ric Flair in wcw?

 

- why can chyna beat jeff jarrett for the ic gold in a hardcore match but not trish stratus for the women's title?

 

- what happened to mae young's han... er, child?

1. Ego

 

2. Because you haven't seen Raw lately...They admited it was an Pyschological thing

 

 

3. Erase the Pain? Ummm...It's like a Bandage...Holds it in place.

 

 

4. He did. Tunney wouldn't sell out until he tricked Dibiase in 1993 and "sold" it to him but with Dibiase unaware that Tunney was no longer the president.

 

5. Because Sabu and Sandman beat hell outta each other and made it easy for Funk

 

6. She beat Jarrett cuz she used weapons...she didn't have them for her match with Stratus.

 

7. Shut Up.

 

 

Sweet Jesus those were really dumb questions...I am STILL befuddled by your "EASE THE PAIN" comment.

[Guest PhantMan]

sorry but as I wrote here I'm from Italy. I used to write perfect english but since I haven't posted in a looong while I got some rust.

[Guest PhantMan]

BTW Choken 1. i remember you from the old smarts board. right around the time the shockmaster debuted (not the wrestler, the poster)

[Guest Choken One]

Yeah...I don't remember you...Sorry.

[Guest papacita]

- why can chyna beat jeff jarrett for the ic gold in a hardcore match but not trish stratus for the women's title?

Chyna never lost to Trish. In fact, when she was Women's Champ, she dominated almost every opponent she had, Trish included, and never lost the belt.

 

why did taker wear a mask after getting legdropped by mabel in '96? it's not like the mask can erase the pain. If anything, it may aggravate it. Same for Brutus Beefcake in '93. that damn mask was made of steel and yet it helped him cope with the pain???

They didn't so much help them cope with pain as they did to keep their faces from being re-injured as easily. It's like guys who wear those nose guards for broken noses, or a mouthpiece in boxing.

[Guest Steve J. Rogers]

1) Ok. Slaughter and Andre hated Hogan like no one ever had. So how was it possible for them to pose with him for the poster of wm 3/7? If they really hated each other so much it'd have been impossible, right?

 

My memory of the actual posters may be fuzzy but weren't they done either on seperate backdrops or seperate frames, or that can be explained away by simple cutting and pasting technolgy

 

Also don't forget, boxing has actuall hatred between two opponents (Ali-Frazier for example) yet they always have pictures at weigh-ins and the like

 

2) why does anyone STILL keep on selling the frickin' turnbuckle? 

 

Pie in the face slapstick humor for the fan's benifit?

 

3) right around wm, the nwo tried to KILL Rock by running him over with a truck. all of a sudden, rock just forgets anything because Hogan gave him a good match? Does a job from hogan equals one's life?

 

This is the first time you've noticed that? Wrestling history is filled with that type of logic gaps

 

4) The nwo vs wcw war was on for YEARS. every match had a silly stipulation like "winner gets to challenge for every title" or "winner gets his own tv show". why didn't they just book a winner take all, loser gets out match? what was at stake, anyway?

 

The kayfabe reason could be Eric Bischoff had too much control in WCW to forever wipe clean WCW of all the members of the nWo like that. The question should be, why didn't WCW just fire Eric Bischoff in the first place (they almost did, Ted Turner was all set to appear but they had an underling do it and it turned into a suspension of power or something)

 

5) right around '99, what was the difference between Steve Austin and, let's say, Val venis, Mankind, Goldust, Billy Gunn and 90% of the wwf roster? McMahon kept on hating Austin while EVERYONE was, at that point, a rebel without a cause.

 

Easy, Austin was the top dog (the champ) and the top babyface in terms of fan reaction. This works if you have Vince as an obseessive psyotic as a heel, which explains why he had a hard on for screwing with him and not paying attention to the rest of the Federation

 

6) what was the pointof booking a mask vs mask match between kane and vader at no way out'98 since vader already unmasked in wcw and japan years before?

 

They wanted to A) Put Kane over as more of a bad ass character and B) Humiliate Vader who after taking off the mask said "I'm a fucking fat piece of shit" and walked out of the company

 

7) Taker didn't partecipate on Raw is Owen to protect his gimmick... why? did he really think the fans would have booed him? I mean, any one knew he was not the DEAD MAN!

 

Undertaker was at that point a satanic devil whorshipper. Don't know why he couldn't break character for one night, but maybe he just felt that his pressence in that character's garb would be innaproppriate considering the circumstances

 

8) Following logic, if Virgil started calling himself Vince, then Shane as a rib on McMahon, if wcw was alive today, would he call himself Steph/Linda?

 

HA!

 

BTW don't forget what Virgil was supposed to be a rip on, Dusty Rhodes! Basically the American Dream had a price for the Million Dollar Man

 

I'm sure WCW would have come up with some submissive female characters named "Steph" and "Linda"

 

Steve

[Guest bob_barron]

Yeah...I don't remember you...Sorry.

Oh no-

 

It's Maurizio C!!!!!